Heidi McCrary's Blog, page 4

Is Thanksgiving Canceled?

The note below recently followed students home in their backpacks from an elementary school…

Dear Parent / Caregiver,

In respect to all of our students, please note that we will no longer be celebrating the holidays of Halloween and Valentine’s Day at school. Thank you for keeping your child’s Halloween costume at home.  

In recognition of the individual cultures and lifestyles of their students, many schools are rethinking how and if they should be acknowledging holidays and events that were a given in the era of their student’s parents and caregivers. Gone, are the days of children parading through the hallways in Batman and witches’ costumes. And to help alleviate children from feeling excluded, mailboxes made from decorating shoeboxes to hold Valentine’s Day cards are now a distant memory.    

It’s the next step in what is sometimes unjustly being labeled as Cancel Culture. It wasn’t that long ago when schools acknowledged that Christopher Columbus didn’t really discover America, since the country was already inhabited by Indigenous People wrongly labeled by white Europeans as Indians.

Which brings us to the topic of Thanksgiving. What was once a day to celebrate the coming-together of Pilgrims and Indians, is now a holiday in question, as we learn and recognize that this story is for the most part fictitious, overriding the truth in what was more likely the hostile arrival of people invading the land of Native Americans.

But acknowledging that Thanksgiving is currently a flawed holiday should not stop us from celebrating a day centered around “putting down our weapons” and gathering around the kitchen table for great food and conversation. We need to absolutely recognize and celebrate the true first inhabitants of our country and we should welcome the true meaning of Thanksgiving. Unlike with Christmas, another holiday that embraces family gatherings, Thanksgiving comes without the commercial trappings of artificial Christmas trees and the need to power-shop on Amazon for the latest tech gadgets and toys.

After all, Halloween is just a silly holiday that has morphed from children going door-to-door in search of Snickers bars to grownups throwing elaborate costume parties and front lawns lit up like Christmas. And Valentine’s Day is nothing more than a faux holiday powered by Hallmark, florists, and department stores, encouraging us to buy jewelry and grossly overpriced roses. Perhaps, it’s time we take a step forward and take Thanksgiving in its literal context. A time for Thanks.

Thanksgiving is a holiday that can and should survive the Cancel Culture movement. As schoolbooks are rewritten to tell the true story of Indigenous People, let us celebrate our true first inhabitants of America. And let Thanksgiving continue to be a time when we gather with our family – without the wrapped gifts and without inflatable reindeer on the front lawn. Just turkey legs, stuffing, and love. And football.

Now, if we can just get rid of Black Friday…

Heidi McCrary is a writer and a regular contributor to Moxie Magazine. Her novel, Chasing North Star is available at Kazoo Books, This is a Bookstore, and online wherever books are sold. Follow Heidi at heidimccrary.net and facebook.com/HeidiMcCraryAuthor

WHEN THE STARS GO DARK –When Nonfiction takes a creative turn

Some of the best stories are found within the pages of real-life events. Categorized as Historical Fiction, many authors have found a fascinating niche of delving into true stories from the perspective of a secondary character or using a true story to inspire a fictional tale. It’s an intriguing twist and makes for an exceptional story. One example of Historical Fiction is AMERICAN WIFE, a novel by Curtis Sittenfeld, and loosely based on the life of Laura Bush. Packed with intrigue and familiar characters, AMERICAN WIFE reveals the fascinating backstory on our former first lady’s life, and well worth the read  

Another novel that borrowed from a real-life event and news headlines, is WHEN THE STARS GO DARK, From Paula McLain, the author of THE PARIS WIFE (Yet another intriguing historical fiction novel, based on the first wife of Ernest Hemmingway). WHEN THE STARS GO DARK focuses on Anna, a homicide detective working on several cases involving missing girls. While this literary thriller is fiction, it includes a side-story borrowed from a real-life tragic event, in the kidnapping of Polly Klaas, a girl held at knifepoint and kidnapped in 1993.

WHEN THE STARS GO DARK is a true page-turner and a thought-provoking who-done-it that fires on all cylinders.

Heidi McCrary is a writer and author of Chasing North Star. Keep up with her at https://heidimccrary.net/ and on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/HeidiMcCraryAuthor

All my Life Skills, I Learned at McDonalds

“Seriously?” I said, looking at the disheveled pickles and condiments sliding off the cold hamburger hiding beneath the smashed bun. I envisioned the creator looking out the drive-thru window under the golden arches, saying to herself, Oh, it’s her. I hate her. Wait ‘til she gets this! It wasn’t the first time I received a less-than-stellar product from a fast-food establishment, but it was the first time, this seemed… deliberate.

Like many teenagers from an era before dating apps and TikTok, my fist job was at the local McDonald’s—a job that thankfully got me through the teenage years and college. While my career took me down a path that drifted away from building Big Macs and deep-sea breaded fillets, if I lined up all the jobs I have held in life, the one that taught me all necessary life skills was…

McDonald’s.

Here are the top 5 life skills I learned, working at a fast-food restaurant…

5)           Respect your boss – Just as you’re taught to respect your elders, the same goes for the person who hired or manages you. Truth is, if you’re not clicking with your boss, it’s time to find a new job. And it’s OK to know when it’s not working. We spend too much time at our jobs to not like the people we work with.

4)           Don’t be an a**hole­­­­ – While this sounds simple, it’s probably the hardest rule to follow on a daily basis, and easy to forget when faced with someone who is testing our nerves. Take the highroad, even when that someone is being a jerk. We don’t know what kind of day they’ve had or what they’re dealing with in their own lives. Acting like an a**hole is the one thing we don’t need to pay forward. Just, don’t.

3)           Enjoy the Big Mac special sauce – Life is what we make it. While we have no control with what is thrown at us, we can control our reaction and attitude. Have you ever encountered that cashier who genuinely seems to love her job? Her job and boss may be spectacular, but it’s more likely that she simply approaches her job with a smile and a fresh attitude each day. There is good in every job, we just need to see it and embrace it.

2)           Show up. This should go without saying, but you’ll be ten miles ahead of the other guy if you just show up for everything in life­­—physically and mentally. That includes returning messages in a timely manner and staying off your damn phone when you should be working. Yeah, I said that.  

1)           Build better burgers – Take pride in whatever you do. It doesn’t matter if you’re creating, teaching, or providing a service. If you take pride in what you do in the workplace, it tends to carry over in everything else in life. And will benefit you in endless ways.

And to the person who served me that flat deranged hamburger, I can only say that I hope your day got better. I know mine did    

Heidi McCrary is a writer and a regular contributor to Moxie Magazine. Her novel, Chasing North Star is available at Kazoo Books, This is a Bookstore, and online wherever books are sold. Follow Heidi at heidimccrary.net and facebook.com/HeidiMcCraryAuthor

The Feminist Slant—What Conservatives do Right

In the avalanche of news stories coming at us ad nauseam, one article in particular stood out from the others. Not because it tackled a polarizing topic, but because it was…not the norm.

Supreme Court Associate Justice Amy Coney Barrett struck a surprising blow against those seeking to defy COVID vaccine mandates on Thursday when she dismissed a challenge to a college’s mandate without comment.

Newsweek – 8/3/2021

This bit of news really shouldn’t come as a surprise to anyone keeping tabs on this traditional conservative appointed by former President Donald Trump to serve on the Supreme Court. And it wasn’t the first indication that she may not bend as far right as the Moral Majority would like from a lifelong conservative.  

Barrett is the fifth woman to serve on the Supreme Court and was caught in the whirlwind of controversy, panic, and outrage from many liberals when she was nominated to succeed the late Ruth Bader Ginsburg, a popular figurehead who embraced liberal politics and was respected by many on both sides of the political aisle. Put on the fast-track, Barrett passed the scrutiny of the Senate Judiciary Committee, and began her service on the Supreme Court in October 2020.  

While the Political Left bemoaned Barrett’s entry as the newest member of the Supreme Court, this feminist had a gut feeling that behind the curtain shielding this self-described conservative, hid a woman who wasn’t just another cookie-cutter traditionalist. Barrett is no slouch in the educational arena, where she was a Professor of Law at Notre Dame Law School, and the ability to balance work, education, and parenting, has given this woman the ability to truly see and understand the world beyond her front lawn—all while climbing the right side of the political ladder.

Giving credence to the ideology of a moderate conservative, just eight months into her job, Barrett sided with her liberal associates when it came time for the Supreme Court to vote on the upholding of the Affordable Care Act, also known as Obamacare. While many conservatives were disappointed in her actions, it probably should not have come as a surprise. She is not the first Supreme Court Justice to relax her conservative views once comfortably seated in a political position that offers lifelong employment without the downside of having to appease voters. Supreme Court Justice John Roberts, nominated by former President George Bush, has also voted on the side of liberal politics on several occasions, and, like Barrett, also voted to uphold the Affordable Care Act.

While Barrett may have a smidgeon of liberal leanings, it would be unrealistic to believe that she will suddenly step across the political line drawn with a permanent marker by far too many politicians to join her liberal constituents on most issues, but it is refreshing to know that she is not a rubber-stamping politician who cannot entertain free thought beyond the spectrum of her political base. The world of Law deserves a balance of beliefs and people who are not afraid to express free thought and the occasional belief that is unpopular.

This feminist applauds the actions of conservatives who aren’t afraid to occasionally lean a little left. Just as those who traditionally follow liberal thought shouldn’t automatically discount the other side. Listening to the other side is good for the soul and good for our country.

Heidi McCrary is a writer and author of Chasing North Star. Keep up with her at https://heidimccrary.net/ and on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/HeidiMcCraryAuthor

What Makes a GOOD Movie BAD?

Movie Review – The Woman in the Window. Now on Netflix

The other day, a friend of mine asked me for my thoughts on “The Woman in the Window,” a Netflix-produced drama starring Amy Adams, Gary Oldman, and Julianne Moore. This mystery isn’t shy about copying the stylings of the late Alfred Hitchcock, and with its claustrophobic, one-room setting, viewers cannot help but draw comparisons to the 1954 “Rear Window.”  

Amy Adams portrays a woman struggling with agoraphobia, and while hiding away in her apartment, she is sure she has witnessed a murder across the street in a neighbor’s apartment. But did she?   

Adams reaches beyond the Romcom mechanics needed for many formula movies and instead, presents us with a woman that is interesting and flawed. The mystery intensifies as new characters are introduced, and we’re left wondering who is fooling us.

For the most part, “The Woman in the Window” is the type of movie that is an excellent Character Study, where nothing is black and white, and no one is simply good or bad. A great movie can introduce you to a character that seems one way, only to peel away at layers until we see the person in a new light. The best stories are grimy, bumpy, and messy­­–forcing us to question what is unfolding on the screen.

Where “The Woman in the Window” fails, is the end. All too often, strong storylines fizzle. Thoughtful dialogue is replaced with the standard fare of psycho attacks and eye-rolling actions that have you yelling, “Just go outside!” Which, of course, no one hears. The result is a good movie that ends on a sour note. And another good movie gone bad.             

Heidi McCrary is a writer and a regular contributor to Moxie Magazine. Her novel, Chasing North Star is available at Kazoo Books, This is a Bookstore, and online wherever books are sold. Follow Heidi at heidimccrary.net and facebook.com/HeidiMcCraryAuthor

CANCEL CULTURE…

Are we redefining history or erasing it?

“History is written by the victors.” Attributed often to Winston Churchill, this quote summarizes how history is often written, especially when it comes to politics and world affairs. One only has to look at the Tulsa Race Massacre­­—a horrifying piece of history that involved mobs of whites attacking the black residents of Tulsa Oklahoma in 1921, killing hundreds in the process and burning the business district to the ground. This attack is attributed to being the single worst incident of racial violence in American history. Yet, it wasn’t until only recently that we collectively were made aware of this ugly piece of history.

Locally, the announcement of the removal of the Fountain of the Pioneers from Bronson Park spurred anger and heated debates from both sides. Designed in 1937, the fountain featured an armed white man standing before a kneeling American Indian, and was hailed by many as a modern work of art, even gathering critical acclaim from Frank Lloyd Wright. But more recently, some saw the fountain as racist and memorializing genocide. In 2018, the City of Kalamazoo removed the fountain to the dismay and disappointment of many who viewed the decision as erasing history and catering to a select few.   

Where is the thin line between cultural evolution and erasing history, and is there a compromise? We need to acknowledge that those who have ancestors in America who have suffered at the hands of others, deserve to walk through a public park without having to explain to their children, the statues and monuments celebrating the demise of their ancestors and culture. How do we learn from history if we are only reading the whitewashed version. Can we still acknowledge these pieces of historical art without insulting differing cultures?

Of course, we can.

Moving questionable historical pieces out of public parks, and into museums and historical grounds, where the piece can be depicted along with proper data and intellectual content, is a good start.

The literary world is also dealing with Cancel Culture. One book under the spotlight is the epic novel, “Gone with the Wind,” with many calling for the book to be pulled from libraries, and the movie pulled from viewership. Actress Whoopie Goldberg argued that Americans should be careful about retracting part of our history and instead suggested that “Gone with the Wind” could feature a disclaimer at the beginning of the film. Goldberg is absolutely correct. Censorship is wrong on any level. Historical literature and films can and should remain with proper context. And rightly so, HBO Max has reportedly said that it will resume airing “Gone with the Wind” along with context surrounding its content.

In another positive move, the family of Dr. Suess stopped future publications of several Dr. Suess books deemed racist. It is important to note that these books are not banned. They are simply not printing future editions. It was the right decision.

Cancel Culture isn’t about erasing history, it’s about redefining how we view it. And it’s damn time children learned of the Tulsa Race Massacre from history books.  

Heidi McCrary is a writer and a regular contributor to Moxie Magazine. Her novel, Chasing North Star is available at Kazoo Books, This is a Bookstore, and online wherever books are sold. Follow Heidi at heidimccrary.net and facebook.com/HeidiMcCraryAuthor

I have two sons. While I realize I will never know the jo...

I have two sons. While I realize I will never know the joys of having a daughter, the same can be said for the many things in life we may never experience—like not having children at all, choosing a job that is death-defying (which brings me back to parenting), or moving overseas. Simply put, we don’t miss what we don’t know. I love my choices, adore my two boys, and wish for nothing more.

Still… as I watch my girlfriend answer her phone from her adult daughter even though she just called an hour ago, I understand that their bond is different from what I share with my sons. Not better or worse, just different. The saying goes, A son is a son until he takes a wife, a daughter is a daughter all of her life. A bit trite perhaps (and sexist, but let’s save that for another time), but this sappy sentiment sums up the difference between mothers and their relationships with sons and daughters.

So, dear future daughter-in-law, here are a few things you’re going to want to know before joining hands in matrimony with either of my sons…

It’s not you, it’s him – I may be the mother of your beloved, but I’m also a woman who was in the same place you are now. And I have the luxury of having learned the many quirks, idiosyncrasies, and faulty wiring in the male species. In the event of any fight you may have with my son (and you will have them), I’m likely to ask him what he did wrong, and suggest he apologize. I don’t even need your side of the story.He’s going to grow up – One British medical report states that, on average, the male brain doesn’t reach full capacity until age 43, while the female brain flourishes 11 years earlier. The truth is, that young man you’re in love with, is only going to get better with age. But then, you can say that about all of us.I’m going to be the be best damn mother-in-law – I know this because I also began married-life as the new daughter-in-law. It can be an uncomfortable fit when the mother of your soon-to-be is convinced that no one is good enough for her son. You’re not only good enough, I think my sons will have to work at it to rise to your standards. Love my boys? Check. Knowing my sons aren’t perfect? Double-check.I’m going to love you no matter what – If my boys decide to marry, they will not be the only ones who will fall in love. If they see something in you, so will I, because my sons have good taste.It’s OK if life takes a different turn – Whatever the future holds, you need to do what’s best for you, and I will understand. Even if you don’t remain a part of my son’s life, you will always have a place in my heart.

So, dear future daughter-in-law, hear this. While the two of you may make the perfect couple, you are just as complete as one.

Heidi McCrary is a writer and a regular contributor to Moxie Magazine. Her novel, Chasing North Star is available at Kazoo Books, This is a Bookstore, and online wherever books are sold. Follow Heidi at heidimccrary.net and facebook.com/HeidiMcCraryAuthor

Movie Review – PROMISING YOUNG WOMAN

Described as a “Thrilling and wildly entertaining story about a delicious new take on revenge,” this Oscar nominated movie takes viewers on an exhilarating emotional rollercoaster as Carey Mulligan grabs hold of the role of anti-hero, Casandra, and chokes it to delightfully new heights.

While billed as a thriller, please note that this goes far beyond the mindless storyline of FRIDAY THE 13TH wannabe slasher movies. Rather, PROMISING YOUNG WOMAN delivers on all cylinders – creating a story that encompasses the heart and compassion found in another movie billed as a thriller… THE SILENCE OF THE LAMBS, which won several Academy Awards, including  BEST PICTURE, BEST ACTRESS, and BEST DIRECTOR. And like THE SILENCE OF THE LAMBS, this film peels back several layers, revealing the horrifying ramifications that can result from the victimization of women that is still gaining traction from the ME TOO movement.

Halfway through this movie, I said aloud, “This can’t end well.” Boy, was I wrong, what an ending! Rent it tonight on Amazon for $5.99 and cheer on Carey Mulligan and Director Emerald Fennell tomorrow at the Oscars.       

By Heidi McCrary, author of CHASING NORTH STAR

Letterman and Limbaugh

Why these two are more alike than different

Recent days were marked with a peculiar combination of news stories that brought two mainstays of the entertainment industry back to trending status on social media—David Letterman and Rush Limbaugh. While being two distinctively different stories, there is also a curious similarity between the two…

February 17 saw the passing of Rush Limbaugh, a conservative radio personality. Love him or hate him, Limbaugh knew how to work a room and instinctively knew how to rile up his frenzy of listeners known as Dittoheads. Radio Personality is an appropriate moniker for Limbaugh because he most definitely was playing a character when sitting at the microphone. It is doubtful that he walked down his street calling his neighbors Femi-Nazis, and was, in all likelihood, a likable man. And a smart man who understood the pipeline he had tapped into, growing his base and popularity by appealing to right-wing listeners who appreciated his humor and insight while he unabashedly made fun of liberals and any caller daring to lean left.

It was a curiosity as to why left-leaning people called into his show to argue his politics and rhetoric. Surely, they understood that they would become his radio-wave punching bag. He never let up and never uttered the words, “Maybe you have a point,” to anyone daring enough to question his beliefs and insight. He didn’t have to, for his dittoheads weren’t tuning in for thoughtful discussions. They were there to cheer him on while he steamrolled differing opinions. Limbaugh knew this and never disappointed his listeners.

Which brings us to David Letterman, host for many years of The Late Show on network TV, and now on Netflix with My Next Guest Needs No Introduction with David Letterman. He is an entertainer who understands that his success is tied to being a smart interviewer who doesn’t shy away from asking the uncomfortable questions. He doesn’t pretend to be a nice guy. Instead, Letterman takes delight in making his guests squirm in the hotseat. So it should come as no surprise that there are numerous instances of him belittling guests—ranging from Lohan, Cher and Winfrey to Justin Bieber, back when he was just a kid invited to appear on the Late Show with David Letterman.

While there is probably extraordinarily little crossover in the target audience for these two entertainers, one thing makes them remarkably the same. Simply put, David Letterman is, and Rush Limbaugh was, a bully.

As the popularity of these two bullies grew, so did their actions, as they took delight in strangling and cutting off the voices of select guests who made the unfortunate decision to appear on their shows. While most of us mature as we grow older, so should our penchant for belittling those around us. And as we condemn or applaud the action of these two men, perhaps we should understand that they grew in power because we were clapping and cheering on the sidelines. They are a mirror of us.

Heidi McCrary is a writer and author of Chasing North Star. Keep up with her at https://heidimccrary.net/ and on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/HeidiMcCraryAuthor

MOM… Because FRIENDS was already taken

After eight years, the CBS sitcom, MOM, is ending it’s run this May. I know 2021 is supposed to be about new beginnings, but I’m not ready to let go of these women I have grown to love. The premise of MOM was originally about a daughter and her mother, who were both recovering alcoholics, and the daughter’s trials raising her own children. Starring Anna Faris and Allison Janney, this comedy’s first episode included a drug joke told by Janney in front of her grandchildren. How funny, I thought. Nothing says “family fun” like grandma telling drug jokes. Apparently, the people behind the scenes agreed with me, and it didn’t take long before the children took a back seat, and in TV magic, simply disappeared, leaving mom and daughter, and their friends at the AA meetings where they regularly went to maintain their sobriety.

And that’s when we all got to know and learned to love that ragtag team of women, who, flaws and all, are always there for one another. The writing for this show is sharp, the humor has bite, and most important, it continues to be heartwarming without being overly sappy. These are the type of women I would like to have a drink with, and by drink, I mean a cup of coffee. Strong coffee.

Bonnie, Christy, Jill, Marjorie, Beth, Tammy … I’m going to miss you gals. Hopefully, we can catch up again someday on Netflix.