Heidi McCrary's Blog, page 2

The Dreaded Sixsome

We’ve all been there—you’re enjoying a round of golf, when suddenly, on the third or fourth hole, you run into the equivalent of blizzard conditions on I-94, with slide-offs and standstill traffic. Looking two holes ahead, you note the cause of the traffic jam… the dreaded party of six.

More likely than not, they’re laughing loudly while one pulls out another sixpack from their cart as another sets down a cigar to tee off. As the ball hooks into the neighboring fairway, the golfer pulls out a second ball from their pocket and tees up again. And again…

We get it, they’re not spray painting swear words on a highway underpass or setting fire to a farmer’s barn. They’re not pushing down elderly people or throwing rocks at puppies. They’re just passing the day by enjoying a round of golf. The problem is, they’re ruining YOUR round.

It’s an occurrence that happens daily on any golf course, and a situation that occurs more often at the smaller courses that don’t have the luxury of having a ranger keeping an eye on things. As the phone rings in the pro shop, it’s not unusual for the person on the other end to be a golfer on the course who has just run into the buzzsaw created by groups of five, six, or even eight golfers, all thinking they’re not causing any harm.

But they are.  

There is no upside for the poor employee forced to hop on a cart so they can travel to what is probably the sixth or seventh hole just so they can take on the role of Bad Cop. While the congenial sixsome will plead the fifth that they are slowing traffic, proof that they realize the errors of their way is that they always start out as two separate groups as they tee off on hole one, not forming their fairway party until they are out of sight of the pro shop. And the argument is always the same. Their just having fun and allowing everyone and their brother to play through. But the problem remains the same, it’s wrong for many reasons.

By allowing golfers to play through, the golfers playing further back must wait while the parties ahead of them wait for the large group to finish the hole. Nothing ruins a round of golf faster than having to wait an excruciatingly long time on every hole.While the sixsome claims that they are letting everyone to play through, they are less apt to allow a foursome to play through, slowing play even moreIt’s a fact that when you add more people to a group of golfers, mixed with the usual props that go along with making it a party, golf becomes a sidebar to hijinks, sometimes resulting in damage to fairways, equipment and greens. And of course, slow play.Most of these sixsomes are on carts (Where else does one put all those beverages?), and when the party of six allows group after group to play through, what would have normally been a one hour round on a nine hole golf, now become two hours on the course. Two hours for three carts to be away from the clubhouse. No golf course has an unlimited supply of carts, and when there are golfers waiting on carts to come in, patience wears thin, and the employee is left wondering why three carts are MIA. It’s a lose-lose situation for everyone but those six golfers who “are just having fun, and not hurting anyone.”And of course the sixsome will always insist that no one is behind them, so they’re not hurting anyone. But guess what? That group a few holes back notices you, and the golf course staff gets to hear it when those people then request to golf as a sixsome, and are told, no. It’s a never ending circle of frustration.   

Please, next time there are six of you, and you want to have a great time together, and you can’t fathom not all being connected? Go bowling, go to a driving range, or better yet just go to the bar. They will gladly sit a table of six. Save golfing for another day. Everyone thanks you!

By Heidi McCrary. Follow Heidi on Facebook. Her novel, Chasing North Star is available locally and online wherever books are sold.

Something Weird Happened on the Way to 62…

“Do you feel more cool at this point in your life or when you were younger?”

My friend takes a bite of her ice cream, twirling the cone to lick off the dripping butter pecan. “Do I think I’m more cool now?” she says, crinkling her brows. “No. Is that the wrong answer?” She takes another bite and adds, “I’m guessing you feel differently?”

Still trying to figure out golf at age 62

At age 62, I have never felt more aware, more open to learning, and more comfortable than I do now. But in great Shakespearean fashion, the timing of my great awakening could not be more off. How else can I explain finally feeling comfortable in my skin when, at the same time gazing into the mirror and pulling my loose skin on my face back toward my ears, envisioning how my face used to look. It’s a conundrum. While my body is beginning to deliver hints that it does indeed have an expiration date, my mind is telling me I’m just getting started.

It’s cruel but fitting irony, finally figuring out our place on earth moments before death. A little dramatic, perhaps, but if you’re on the downhill side of 50, you get it. Post 60 is when we start thinking about last events—downsizing homes, bucket-list vacations and Second Chapter Jobs.   

At age 62, my friend and I are both enjoying our time at our Second Chapter Jobs. Jobs that don’t require fancy degrees or excessive training, but rather a skill set that can’t be learned in a college course and only comes with the luxury of experiencing 60+ years on earth… People-skills. As I work alongside teenagers and retirees, I appreciate my interactions with every guest, and I genuinely enjoy teaching (and learning) from young people who are just getting their traction in the business world.   

62. Is it young? Old? Depends on whether you’re asking an 18-year-old or 80-year-old. If you were ever accused of being an Old Soul in your younger days, congratulations! Old Souls are simply people who have the advantage of possessing a mind that is two steps ahead of the general population in their age group. I’m a former Old Soul who is now celebrating being in the moment. I know who I am, and I’m good with it.

So, do you feel cooler today than you were in your younger days? Maybe you were the lucky kid who other children gravitated to and you never stood alone at recess. Perhaps you were never picked last in gym class, and you not only went to your Junior Prom, but you also served on the decorating committee. You were confident and peaked early. Cue the applause.

For my sisters out there who hit their stride a little later in life or are just now beginning to figure it all out, I stand with you. We all travel down our own paths, and no route is less correct, but looking back, I wouldn’t change a thing. I am comfortable now—in my hair, clothes, interests, adventures, beliefs and loves.

So, looking back at my friend at the ice cream counter, I take a bite of my chocolate ice cream (I’ve always taken bites. I don’t understand those who lick ice cream.) and I answer her question with a smile. Do I feel cooler today than I did in my younger days?

“Absolutely.”

TOM LAKE… Cherry Time in Traverse City

If you’re a fan of author Ann Patchett and you happen to live in Michigan, you’ll enjoy the backdrop in “Tom Lake,” Patchett’s newest novel that is currently #1 on the New York Times Bestseller list. It’s 1980-something, and young Lara is riding high as an aspiring actress in L.A. whose adventure leads her to the leading role of Emily in the play, “Our Town,” being presented in a summer stock theatre on Tom Lake, a small vacation resort located just a short drive from Traverse City. Lara quickly falls for her leading man, who we later learn went on to become a huge Hollywood star.

Ann Patchett discussing “Tom Lake” in Ann Arbor, Michigan

“Tom Lake” bounces back and forth as the now mature Lara, currently living in Traverse City on the grounds of a cherry orchard, tells her story to her three daughters who are grappling with their own lives. While the modern-day storytelling gives a glimpse into what became of Lara and her friends from that summer long ago, the true story in this novel takes place at Tom Lake.

Readers beware: “Tom Lake” is a love letter to the 1938 three-act play, “Our Town” by Thornton Wilder, and knowing the story of Emily in “Our Town” is almost mandatory, for Patchett delights in drawing parallels between the two. If you’ve never read or seen “Our Town,” you can watch the 2003 Broadway production starring Paul Newman on YouTube at https://rb.gy/aehkl.

“Tom Lake” is a slow build, and like “Our Town,” it’s all about the Third Act.

In a Barbie World…

A girlfriend of mine recently received an invitation from the Kalamazoo Public Library to a special screening of a movie at the Portage Celebration Cinema. And she knew just the friend who needed to accompany her—a friend who understood the complexity of this thought-provoking serious movie. Or as she put it, “I knew you’d like this, and that I could suffer through it.”

While many adults are hitting the movie theatres for the opening of “Oppenheimer,” a true story about the dark beginnings of nuclear weapons and the atomic age, another dark movie opens on this blockbuster weekend – “Barbie.”

OK, not dark, the most opposite from “dark” a movie can be. Colorful, funny, and with just the right balance of self-deprecation, “Barbie” is part “Toy Story,” part “Wizard of Oz,” and part “The Truman Show.” And like Woody in “Toy Story,” this story follows Barbie, who becomes self-aware and goes in search of her place in Barbieland and in the real world. “Barbie” stars the charming duo of Margo Robbie and Ryan Gosling.

While no one will accuse Barbie of being the new feminine anthem for today’s young women, the message here is a positive one to girls. And it’s fun enough for everyone else. And PINK. If you don’t embrace the color here, you’re taking yourself too seriously. Seriously, seeing the theatre goers embracing their inner and outer pink was as delightful as the movie itself. So, grab your girlfriends and grab your pinkest outfit. It’s all fun.  

The Reality of Being an Audience Member on America’s Got Talent

Back in 2009, reality shows were still a novelty, with Survivor, American Idol and The Bachelor bringing in big ratings. So as my husband and I strolled along the Hollywood Walk of Fame, on vacation with our two teenage sons, and a young man approached us, asking us if we would like to be in the studio audience of America’s Got Talent, I answered with a, “Hell, yes!” (I probably actually said, “That would be very nice, thank you,” but that’s not as fun to write.)

And that’s when we learned firsthand just how “real” reality shows are…

Tickets in-hand, we followed the instructions on the sheet, driving far beyond the city lights out to the suburbs, where we then stood in line for hours as the line slowly grew longer behind us. “We’re going to see real stars, guys,” I said, still not grumpy after the second hour. “And we might be on TV!” Dropping our cell phones into plastic bags on our way into the auditorium, we took our seats and waited for the show to begin.

And waited.

When one participates in the taping of any program, that “one-hour show” takes a half-day to produce. But still undeterred, we waited in anticipation for the rising of the curtain. Finally, a gentleman comes onstage, welcoming us to “AGT Chicago Edition.”   

Wait… what?

“As you all know, we travel throughout the country,” the announcer explained. “Auditioning everyone in cities across nation. But today we’re going to do a little creative editing, so for the sake of this episode, we’re in Chicago. Every time you hear the word, ‘Chicago’ tonight, I need you all to cheer. Let’s practice… Hello Chicago! (We whooped and hollered). Just like that! And we’re now going to practice our cutaway shots, Ready?”

And that’s when we shot take after take of our ‘reactions’ to the performers, when in actuality, the stage was empty. We cheered, booed, and clapped as instructed. Yes, that cutaway shot you see of that young lady’s look of shock or that young man’s cheer is shot ahead of the actual action happening on stage. (I say, “young lady” and “young man” because the young pretty people are seated at the front of the auditorium.) So, while it looks like the audience is gushing over that seven-year-old opera singer, they’re simply gushing on cue.

After our work was done, the judges, David Hasselhoff, Sharon Osbourne, and Piers Morgan finally took their seats, and the real show began, and for a couple of hours we were treated to silly acts, captivating talent and entertainment that only a reality show can churn out. And for the afternoon, we were part of the magic of Hollywood… I mean, Chicago.

  Heidi McCrary is a writer and author of the novel, Chasing North Star – available locally and online wherever books are sold. Follow Heidi at heidimccrary.net and facebook.com/HeidiMcCraryAuthor

Women Talking. Not that one, the other one…

If you had Cable TV anytime during the last twenty years, you no doubt came across Double Jeopardy, a movie that seemed to be playing on as many channels as Pretty Woman. This smart thriller starred Ashley Judd as a woman trying to stay one step ahead of her parole officer, played by Tommy Lee Jones. Not surprisingly, the movie role put Judd on the A List in Hollywood. She followed up with a couple of other movies roles and…

Disappeared.  

Turns out, Judd didn’t suddenly fall out favor with movie audiences, she fell out favor with Harvey Weinstein, powerful movie mogul and rapist. In what was apparently the worst-kept secret in Hollywood, Weinstein assaulted a multitude of women, from assistants to famous actresses, with over 80 women coming forward after the New York Times broke the story of Weinstein’s criminal activities. With help from a few brave women, including Ashley Judd, Weinstein is now serving a 23-year sentence in prison.

Ashley Judd’s career came to a standstill because she refused Weinstein’s advances. Many others were too scared, young or unable to say, “No.” Ironically (or not), the film detailing the New York Time’s exposé on Weinstein, She Said has been snubbed by every film awards organization, maybe hitting a little too close to home. You can rent She Said now on Amazon Prime for $5.99.

If you think the “Me Too” movement was an overreaction, please educate yourself by revisiting this moment in time when women spoke up and were finally heard. She Said should be required reading or viewing in every high school.        

MOVIE REVIEW – ELVIS

A new spin on an old story

If you recall where you were when you first heard the news that Elvis died, this movie is for you. And if you only know Elvis through your mother or grandmother, it’s time you learned why they never threw those vinyl records away.

While there have been other movies that addressed the life and death of Elvis Presley, most biopics traveled down the familiar road of “Young boy becomes overnight singing sensation—living on the road, sandwiched between the adrenaline of music, drugs, women, and loneliness.” Another life rocketing to stardom, only to be shot down too early in life.

But ELVIS, the 2022 film by director Baz Luhrmann is another story…

If the name, Luhrmann sounds familiar to you, it may because you may have caught one of his other films, including MOULIN ROUGE! and the 2013 adaptation of THE GREAT GATSBY.  Both of these stylish films took a creative spin on the telling of a classic tale by adding modern music, dialog, and editing.

This same approach has been applied to the telling of the story of Elvis Presley, this time focusing on the dynamics between Presley and his manager Colonel Parker, portrayed by Austin Butler and Tom Hanks. If you’re old enough to recall the news stories at the time, you’re familiar with the story of Parker taking advantage of his young inexperienced client, but it’s also likely that you never realized the depths of his manipulation and destruction of a young man who put all his trust in him.

While Butler’s portrayal is natural and blends seamlessly in the stylish storytelling by Luhrmann, Hanks has the unfortunate role of playing a character painted with broad strokes and pigeonholed into the role of villain. All that was missing was Hanks stroking a cartoon mustache while throwing back an evil laugh. And while Luhrmann’s editing works for the most part, the many metaphors throughout are as subtle as a jackhammer.

We all know how the story of Elvis Presley ends, and while this rendition of ELVIS isn’t without flaws, it breathes new life on a sad story. The ending, showing actual footage from one of Presley’s last concert performances is, by itself, worth the price of admission.        

ELVIS is nominated for 8 Oscars, including Best Picture, Lead Actor, and Editing. ELVIS can now be rented on Amazon Prime.

  Heidi McCrary is a writer and author of the novel, Chasing North Star – available wherever books are sold. Follow Heidi at heidimccrary.net and facebook.com/HeidiMcCraryAuthor

MOVIE REVIEW – THE FABELMANS

This family could have lived in Alamo

Just in time for the Golden Globes and Academy Awards season, Steven Spielberg finally brings his inspiration for “E.T.” and his many other blockbuster films to the screen. With “The Fabelmans,” we are introduced to Spielberg’s family during the early fifties, when holidays and other family moments were captured on 8mm movie cameras usually held by fathers, and the image of the nuclear family was often a façade. But this is the story about Spielberg, and we learn how, as a youngster, he was first introduced to the magic of moviemaking with the screening of “The Greatest Show on Earth.”

But this film is so much more than “…and then he started making movies, blah, blah, blah.” While “The Fabelmans” is told through the lens of young Sammy (Steven Spielberg), the film could easily stand alone in the telling of the bittersweet story of Sammy’s troubled mother, Mitzi (played by Michelle Williams), a creative soul who gives up her passion to raise a family while grappling with marriage to a man who doesn’t stimulate her creativity and free spirit.

A parallel could be drawn between the majority of imaginative stories and the writers who endured a dysfunctional childhood. And having a “colorful mother” seems to be a recurring theme in movies that speak to audiences looking for a story with heart, and the reality of creative souls who become successful storytellers.  

Look for this movie to be a dark horse in the race to the awards. “The Fabelmans” can now be rented on Amazon Prime.

 Heidi McCrary is a writer and author of the novel, Chasing North Star – available at Kazoo Books, This is a Bookstore, and online wherever books are sold. Follow Heidi at heidimccrary.net and facebook.com/HeidiMcCraryAuthor

FIRST DATES

Having just started working at the local TV station, I was still infatuated with the news personalities I would occasionally run into in the hallways and holiday parties. One gentleman in particular was an on-air talent who apparently noticed me as well. Working in the sales department, I had the perk of handling a few fun accounts, like the newly built Kellogg Arena. At that time, the Van Andel Arena in Grand Rapids didn’t exist yet, and most music acts appeared at Wings Stadium in Kalamazoo and the Kellogg Arena in Battle Creek, and many advertising buys that came into the station came with the perk of a ticket trade. Knowing this, this news personality understood that the current advertising schedule promoting an upcoming concert with singer Tom Jones probably came with free tickets, allowing for a cheap date.

But it still surprised me when this popular weather forecaster made his way up to the sales office to ask me if I would like to attend the Tom Jones concert with him. “We can go out to dinner before the show, and my brother will also be accompanying us with his date.” Admittingly starstruck, I accepted his invitation and looked forward to the double date, even though attending a Tom Jones concert was something I envisioned my mother doing. But, hey, it’s Tom Jones. If nothing else, I figured he would be entertaining.

The night of the concert, I walked from my apartment to my date’s car. Peering into the backseat I notice the lone man. “His date couldn’t make it. I figured you wouldn’t mind if he still came along,” my date explained. I did mind. Feeling like we now had a chaperone, I went along on this escapade, which included dinner with the two brothers who enjoyed each other’s company immensely, leaving me with the distinct feeling that I was the third wheel on this peculiar adventure. As the three of us continued to the Kellogg Arena, my date and his brother continued enjoying the evening, soaking in the adulation from those sitting around us as they realized they were in the presence of a local TV star. Autographs were signed, animated conversation ensued, and I sat back to a night of Tom Jones with an arena full of women my mother’s age (Keep in mind that I was 20-something at the time).        

The evening finally ended with the two of them driving me home, leaving me with the question of whether I was supposed to kiss both of them goodnight. As the car rolled into the driveway, I thanked both for a nice evening and bolted from that car before it came to a complete stop. If only I could have forecasted how my date with the weatherman would have gone, I would have turned the channel. Tom Jones? Not going to lie, he was the best part of the evening.  

My 3 Months in Car Sales

(Or as I prefer calling it, eternity)

I’m not sure why, but for a crazy moment in 1990 I decided to derail my career in TV advertising sales for the lucrative career in car sales. Knowing little about cars and the auto industry in general, I razzle-dazzled my way into a local car dealership that included LOTS of male salespeople and one lone woman. Back then, to be good at car sales, you didn’t really need to understand the mechanics of what hid beneath the hood of a Mercury Sable or how it differed from its cross-town sister, the Ford Taurus (Hint: there was virtually no difference other than window dressing). You simply needed to be good at selling. Or to hammer home the point, in the words of Blake in the iconic movie, “Glengarry Glen Ross,” “Learn your ABC’s. Always Be Closing. Always be closing! Always be closing!!”   

Trading in my knowledge of Nielsen ratings for Motortrend ratings, I quickly learned the salesperson’s ritual of the “walk-around,” best described as highlighting the basic features of each individual car. To female customers, I would point out the many cupholders and the little-known fact that the driver’s seat on the Sable was shorter in length to better accommodate female drivers, who were the target customer for this car—a fact I conveniently omitted when showing the car to men. Beyond that, people had few questions, and I never tired of saying, “Good question. I’m new here so let me get back to you with an answer.” Entering the majestic newly renovated two-story building sitting on the massive car lot, I immediately devoured the information available to me. Eager to learn, I attended our first sales seminar…   

“Remember to ALWAYS do the walk-around for the customer. It’s a step that CANNOT be missed.” The presenter was dressed in a bit-too-loud blue suit which I imagine he wore to every dealership for his seminars. He spoke in an excited pitch that left him no room for growth, even if he actually wanted to make a point about something. And every sentence he spoke was accented with an exclamation point. “And once you get them into the closing room and you’ve presented them with the numbers, turn the contract around so it’s facing them, and present the pen, letting it ‘slip’ from your fingers. That’s right, the pen will roll down the sheet, and the customer will instinctively reach for the rolling pen. And it is now in their hands! You’re about to make a sale!”

I believe an actual shudder traveled through my body as I glanced around the room, wondering if the other salespeople were as turned off as I was with this last bit of sales trickery, but all I saw were nodding heads. They were already practicing the “pen-roll” in their heads and counting their future commissions. I brushed it off and concentrated on the other tips I learned—tips that didn’t involve rolling pens.

But the “pen-roll” was just the beginning of a business that prides itself on upselling. While customers might think that once they agree upon the price, they are essentially done with the selling process, they are sadly mistaken. After we agreed on price, I kindly escorted the customers to the business manager, whose sole job was to cram as many options as he could on top of the already agreed upon price, and boy, was he good. So good, that he didn’t hesitate to simply add options after the sale was completed and the contract signed, leaving the salesperson the only option of having to “re-sign” the customer when they came back to pick up the car, having to explain why the monthly payment magically changed by an additional $50. “You really need the fabric protection. It will ensure your investment when it’s time to trade it in,” (It didn’t) or “Rust proofing is a must if you live in Michigan,” and so on. When I balked and questioned our business manager on his suspect practice of upselling, he simply replied, “I know you can resell it when they come back. You’re a great salesperson.” He was correct that I was able to sell the changes in the contract to the customers, but it most certainly did not make me a great salesperson. It did however make me a common car salesperson. I hated the business manager for his practices, and I hated myself for complying.

But I kept at it, surprisingly seeing very little in the way of sexist treatment from the dealership or pushback from customers. Soon after I arrived at the dealership, the only other female salesperson quit, leaving me as the sole survivor of the female species, a fact I used to my advantage. After all, I quickly learned that many male customers liked working with me, thinking they could outwit a woman in the car sales world.

They couldn’t.     

I recall only one time when a customer blocked my approach, asking to work with a man—a women, who said she would prefer to deal with a man because, “Men know more about cars.”

“No problem,” I said. “I’ll find someone who can help you.” And with that, I found the cockiest know-it-all in the bunch. “Good luck,” I said under my breath as he shook hands with his next victim.

We were trained to sell cars, period—working for the owner, who looked down upon us both figuratively and literally from his glassed-in office perched high over the showroom floor. Spiffs (added bonuses from the car manufacturers) and commissions drove us to steer customers away from one car to another, and customers with weak financial backing drove the business manager to offer inflated financing to those most in need of assistance. Looking for a comfortable monthly rate? This was music to our ears. No problem, we can just stretch out those payments a few more months.

And those hours… Most car dealerships are open six days a week, with hours that stretch into the late evening on two of those days. That’s 9am to 9pm. While we were granted a floating day off, as my manager explained to me on my first day, “Smart salespeople know to come in on their day off. You don’t want to miss out on a sale.” By the time Sunday rolled along, I was exhausted, knowing that the long workweek would be starting all over again.  

It took me three months to realize I had the philosophy of car sales backwards. I was approaching it as wanting to help people get into the car of their dreams. Instead, I only helped the owner of the dealership realize his dream of becoming king.

Heidi McCrary is a writer and author of the novel, Chasing North Star – available at Kazoo Books, This is a Bookstore, and online wherever books are sold. Follow Heidi at heidimccrary.net and facebook.com/HeidiMcCraryAuthor

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