Moe Lane's Blog, page 514
August 5, 2022
Tweet of the Day, Surely This Is An Elaborate Practical Joke edition.
I can understand a sequel to JOKER. I can understand having Lady Gaga play Harley Quinn. But… a musical?
Joker: Folie à Deux
— Lady Gaga (@ladygaga) August 4, 2022
10.04.24 pic.twitter.com/obp7T9lBFL
What’s the joke? And who’s the punchline?
08/05/22 Snippet, THE FIGHT IN THE GROVE.
There’s gonna be combat!
Patreon!“Put me down,” said the dryad suddenly. “There is danger.” I’m no fool; I stopped immediately, and let her dismount while I checked my weapons and armor. I‘m stronger than a dryad. A dryad has senses that shame mine. If there was something evil to be heard or smelled, she would be the first to know. Although now even I could now smell something foul on the wind.
“So, we’re expected, then.” I said as I took stock of our surroundings. We had paused by a tree, overlooking a stream; it was higher ground, at least, and would give us some warning of an attack.
“How can that be, Jack?” The dryad sounded more annoyed than fearful as she pulled a thorn-knife from the satchel she carried (the thought of satchels originally came from Yonder, but Those Who Speak have made it their own). That was good, as long as she did not take it too far. “I thought bittersap did not think.”
“It does not,” I replied as I noted the spastic sound of rustling, just ahead of us. “But it can be cunning. And even a beast knows enough to defend itself from harm.” And then I stopped talking, for out from the brush rushed a clot of beasts, snarling and screaming as they came.
Most of the poor damned creatures were small, and weak; voles and squirrels, mice and rabbits. No birds, thank the Sky Lady. Those would be especially dangerous. Though bittersap does not corrupt those of us made of meat, a bittersap bezoar can dominate the smaller beasts, for a time. And flying things would be of special use to one.
In some ways, what bittersap does to animals is worse than what it does to plants, or Those Who Speak. Bittersap preys upon plants, to take full possession of them and spread poison across the surface lands. It cannot do the same to animals. But the way bittersap rips through blood and flesh still swiftly drives beasts mad from the pain. There is no cure for the pain, once the animal has lost itself to madness. There is only the red haze of combat for it. They will fight, and strive to kill, until they die.
That was the fight we now faced; and any hopes that I had that it would be more tiring than dangerous died as the bushes shook to reveal a stag. Like the rest, it was jerking and befouled with the ichor of curdling bittersap. The blood smeared on its antlers and matted fur told me that this was not its first fight of the day; and I hoped it had killed its previous victims, for I could not go looking for them while the bittersap bezoar still lived.
Let the Bodies Hit the Floor: WB to axe SUPERGIRL?
Such are the rumors.
According to a recent report from Rolling Stone, the previously announced Supergirl film is also unlikely to move forward at the studio. The film has been in development, and Sasha Calle, who is also set to appear as Supergirl in the upcoming movie The Flash, was set to star. Her appearance in The Flash was meant to introduce the character before her solo film.
Of course, it’s not 100% certain that there’s going to be a FLASH movie after all, either. Although one wonders would happen if Ezra Miller did decide to finally snap like a rubber band and commit suicide-via-FBI. Would Warner Bros deep six the movie, or would they breathe a sigh of relief and release it as soon as possible?
…Look, we’re talking about a movie studio, here. They are, to mangle Time Bandits, mercifully free from the ravages of conventional morality. The survivors who worked on the film gotta get paid, right?
Moe Lane
PS: I don’t know how you fix the DC superhero movie problem at this point, really. Maybe just junk everything, and come back in twenty years.
#commissionearned
08/05/22 Snippet, TOUR OF DUTY.
I’m sure she’s fine.
Patreon![Journal entries deemed not relevant.]
January 28
We jumped out of the waypoint today. I was in Propulsion, getting used to my new station (they put Dan in Life Support; I got Janusz working with me, and isn’t that fun). I was surprised that the waypoint station was automated, but my mentor (i.e., the guy I follow around and do what he says) Lupe told me nobody ever lives at these things full time. Or part time. Or at all, if they can help it.
I guess that makes sense. It’s really lonely out here. Profoundly lonely. There’s no light, except what you’ve brought. No light, no sound, no activity, no life… nothing out here except the sound of your own heartbeat, drowned in the silences of dark matter and the Great Night…
Yikes! I should go work on something. Or go talk to the ship’s doctor. Or maybe both.
August 4, 2022
So, I figure either Cyber Runner or Diplomat in STARFIELD.
Look, we all know I’m buying Bethesda’s STARFIELD. And judging from the character class information that we can see in this article, I can already tell you my starting build: Cyber Runner’s got pistols, lockpicking, and diplomacy. That’s all I need, plus stealth. But I want to see Diplomat first. Maybe Professor, if that’s where the magic… ah, ‘Ancient Science’ or whatever they’re calling… is. I also like the spacesuit, but we all know that it’s the first thing that’s gonna get modded to infinity and beyond, so why waste time dwelling on it?
All in all: thank God this got delayed until 2023. I got a book to write in November.
Tweet of the Day, It’s Hard Out There For A WB Planning Executive edition.
Imagine being the person who had to make this call:
‘The Flash’ will still be released by Warner Bros. Discovery. pic.twitter.com/31s6q5tfe4
— Film Updates (@FilmUpdates) August 4, 2022
In case you were wondering – you probably weren’t, because you have better things to do with your life – Ezra Miller has hit the ‘paranoid megalomaniac cosplay‘ point in this ongoing psychodrama. One hopes the situation gets resolved before it advances to ‘final drug-addled shootout with law enforcement.’ No, really. This kind of self-destructive behavior leaves impact craters.
Via @jimgeraghty.
08/04/22 Snippet, THE FIGHT IN THE GROVE.
Yonder!
Patreon!Should I speak of Yonder? I have only been there thrice, though my ancestors came from that wondrous place. Would you like to see how it looks, through my eyes?
Some priests disdain and even fear it, for Yonder is a place of metal and oil. There are places there where things grow poorly, shut out by great buildings and roads of stone and tar. I will not dispute how there are unfortunate smells and sights. If one is not careful, one can find himself in a place of bad air and foul water.
And it is so loud! You will never find a quiet moment in Yonder: there are few animals, but many Men, and other races — and even some Those Who Speak, although they are much not like their cousins here. And the devices of Yonder speak, too, if monotonously. So many sounds, at all hours of the day and night.
But the people of Yonder are kind. They are all rich, and well-fed; they also have a deep respect for the magic of these lands. Or perhaps it is a wise fear for what our magic and our gods would do, if provoked? No matter. We have our place, and those of Yonder have theirs, and we respect each other’s.
I still wished we had one of their vehicles.
So there’s going to be an ETERNALS 2! How fascinating.
At least, Patton Oswalt thinks so. And if you can’t believe an almost-as-funny-as-he-thinks-he-is TV/film comedian, who can you trust? …Okay, that was unkind of me*.
Moving on: it’s probably not too surprising that ETERNALS is getting a sequel. Its numbers were kind of crap for a MCU flick, but it was half a movie and half a streaming event. Heck, even I watched it on Disney+, and I usually go to MCU movies as early as I can.
But I didn’t mind ETERNALS, either. It was weird, but Jack Kirby comics are inherently weird. Will I go see a sequel if it comes out in theaters exclusively? …Yeah, probably. I like movies. I like going to movies: it’s dark, quiet, and I can go have a beer beforehand and know it’ll wear off before I have to go home.
And that’s Marvel’s target demographic, right there. Sorry, folks. I yam what I yam.
Moe Lane
*Not unkind enough for me to delete it, but still.
08/04/22 Snippet, TOUR OF DUTY.
I’m sure there’s nothing to worry about here.
Patreon!January 24
So, hyperspace is different.
They made a deal out of engaging the skip drive. All of us first-timers got called to the main front cargo hold, and they lined us all up. We were given white smocks to put over our shipsuits, and these dried-seaweed circlets to wear. Real seaweed, too, from the hydroponics lab. The circlets smelled nice, though. Sort of like chocolate, or maybe coffee.
The captain — she was dressed up like the old god Neptune, complete with toga, plastic trident, and beard — then gave us this deep-fried fish sandwich thing to eat. I asked later: the fish was also from the lab, but the barley and flax came from Earth. Well, from the Lunar farms. It was tasty enough that I wanted another, but they only had enough for one each.
After that, there was a bunch of slapstick and corny jokes. I looked this all up ahead of time: back in the old days, any country that went to sea would have these rituals for crossing Earth’s Equator, because that’s how you knew you were a real sailor. These days, the big dividing point is hyperspace travel. I guess humans need rituals.
