Moe Lane's Blog, page 36
May 26, 2025
The ‘Please don’t make this’ PHILLY JUSTICE trailer.
I ask only because the Parks & Recreation folks making the trailer, and apparently the pilot, because of their elaborate, ongoing, behind-the-scenes extended joke is itself funny. Actually green-lighting PHILLY JUSTICE itself would be a terrible, terrible mistake. It’s perfect as it is.
I will concede that Ron Swanson would make for an epic judge, though.
#commissionearned
05/26/2025 Snippet, TOM VARGAS AND THE CASE OF THE MEDDLING PRIEST.
The system seems to be working!
…
Ever try to catch a six-foot unconscious orc? I bet it’s real funny to watch. Actually doing it feels like getting smothered by a sack of rocks.
I cheated, sorta. A really nice guy would have fireman-carried Mike over to a couch, or something. Me, I settled for taking the guy’s weight long enough to let him sprawl on the floor without cracking his head on it. I even managed to find a spot without too much crap on it already; I grabbed something that looked soft, and shoved it under his head for a pillow. Orcs were supposed to be tough, right? He probably slept the floor normally. Besides, there wasn’t even a couch anyway.
My tender ministrations finished, I started checking the room. It was scrambled up, thanks to the demon — but it was also a lot easier to breathe in, thanks to the demon being gone, and that made up for the mess. I wasn’t really looking for clues, anyway. That’s not what I do, really.
May 25, 2025
‘Whole Lotta Love.’
Whole Lotta Love, Led Zeppelin
#commissionearned
05/25/2025 Snippet, CALL OF THE MOON-BEASTS.
I’m trying something that may force me to finish this stuff in a faster manner. Hope it works!
There wasn’t a ladder underneath the hatch, only a rope leading to the floor below. That turned out to be fine for everybody, including the two civilians — or three, Tobias thought. Although Lily knows spelunking. He still worried about how they’d get up quickly, though. The floor was eight feet below them, which a person could leap in a hurry, if they needed to. And if they didn’t panic, which again might be a problem for the two civilians. Everybody left alive on the Moon may have been tough-headed enough to survive for this long, but you never knew what a person’s breaking strain was until they hit it.
The smell down here was more of a stink, or maybe a medley. There were all sorts of odors, from stagnant water to something that almost smelled like flowers.
There was also a underlying aroma, all burnt and greasy, that kept assaulting Tobias’s nostrils, and he wasn’t sure which meaning of ‘assault’ was the right one. It should have been enticing, but there was something about it that made him feel hungry and revolted at the same time. “Mask up, people,” he said aloud, and felt a queasy fear for a moment that the filters might not work.
Tweet of the Day, Using AI In Your Books Makes You Dumb edition.
I said what I said.
As a warning to rapid-release authors who forgo editors…
— Kristin | Fictional Influence (@Kristin_Fiction) May 25, 2025
This is your future. Save your career. Hire an editor pic.twitter.com/KAPUg06drM
Via @RocketPulpHack.
05/25/2025 Snippet, TOM VARGAS AND THE CASE OF THE MEDDLING PRIEST.
Gotta get this finished.
As a foulness shall ye know them. There’s everything in the Lore, honestly. Including the stuff you wish there wasn’t.
The demon didn’t waste any time coming together, pulling darkness out of every corner of the room. Papers whirled all around us as a foul wind rose up, forcing the taste of brimstone in my mouth. The air reeked of that, and filth both old, and new. A plant set in the window puffed into gray dust as I watched, and I reflexively turned away before I could breathe any of it in.
Meanwhile, in the center of the now-howling room, a figure spawned. It was somehow slimy and sharp-edged at the same time, a writhing mass of black-green corruption congealing into the rough shape of a man. It wasn’t large. Yet. But it wouldn’t be for lack of trying.
Speaking of trying… I took aim with my gun, and turned what looked like the demon’s chest into greasy black foam. Oh, it did not like that! It didn’t like my next three shots, one in the head, and two more in the chest. It didn’t like it, but it didn’t dissipate. That was bad. Four shots was more than enough to keep a regular demon from incarnating, and one more shot than what I should usually try to get off. It’s not easy for me to push around demons. It ain’t my skill set. This could end up being pretty damned painful for me.
Patreon!
Patreon Microfiction: Oh, Boy.
Yes, obviously “Oh, Boy” is a Quantum Leap reference. Loved that show. Shame Enterprise never made a joke about it – or did they?
Patreon!
May 24, 2025
‘Stand and Deliver.’
Stand And Deliver, Adam and the Ants
#commissionearned
Book of the Week: City In Chains.
This may be damning with faint praised, but while Harry Turtledove’s fantasy-Paris-during-WWII novel City In Chains isn’t as good as Ruled Britannia… really, what is? It’s not half bad, even if it’s basically historical fiction with fantastical elements slapped on. I didn’t grind my teeth while reading it. You take what you can get.
#commissionearned
05/24/2025 Snippet, BANSHEE BEACH.
I swore to a fine old gentleman today that I would at least finish revising a chapter of this tonight. And that I would get off my ass and get on with this damn novel.
Nothing bothered me for the rest of the night. Not even Lucas coming in later, because while I’d decided my evening was over he had shown no interest in ending his, just yet. He looked annoyingly refreshed and even somewhat coiffed the next morning, though.
“I ordered room service,” Lucas told me as he buttered a roll. “I even gave them money for it.”
“You paid those rates?” I asked with no little shock as I inhaled what was a pretty impressive spread. Including wonderful, wonderful coffee. “There’s places on the boardwalk, you know.”
“Oh, I didn’t pay,” Lucas told me. “Some people who were very bad at math last night paid. I was just holding their money until I could put it back in the local economy. Better it gets spent on room service than your bail.”
Patreon!
