Mallory Kennedy's Blog, page 2

Transform & Thrive: Are you ready for a Femininity Makeover?

Whether you consider yourself a girly-girl, tomboy or somewhere in between, when it comes down to it, there are only two types of femininity: Dark and Divine. 

In today’s society, we are all very familiar with Dark Femininity, even though we may not label it as such. This is the type of Femininity that is lionized in the media, by influencers and celebrities in popular culture. Nowadays, whether in online spaces or in public, Dark Femininity is glorified as the ideal type of Feminine, placing supreme focus on being seen as “sexy” and superior. Dark Femininity is competitive, judgmental, seductive, narcissistic, focused on material goods, wealth and looks, and is ultimately out to satisfy numero uno at all costs. This includes using sex and sexuality as a way to make money, and as a weapon, or bargaining chip. 

On the flip side, Divine Femininity, or Sacred Femininity, is the true, authentic expression of the Female as it was originally intended by God. Finding her power in virtues, a Divinely Feminine woman is heart-centered, harmless, trustworthy, peaceful, nurturing, unconditionally loving, balanced and service oriented. A Divinely Feminine woman appreciates the true beauty of herself, as well as all other individuals, and understands the importance of maintaining authenticity. A Divinely Feminine woman accepts and loves herself as she is, and augmentation of the physical self or personality (false airs) is not necessary to suit societal trends, or the whims of other people.

To fully understand what Divine Femininity is, it helps to better understand what it is not, first. 

Divine Femininity is not:

Arrogant, narcissistic or brazenFlashy, does not flaunt, show-off, boast or bragCompetitive or rivalrousJealous or enviousLustfulAnimalistic or carnalPromiscuous or adulterousVengefulSpitefulDestructive physically or emotionallyJudgmental of others or the selfDishonest, deceptive or sneakySeductive ManipulativeForceful or aggressiveDomineeringDisrespectful, undignified, sarcastic or crude

So ask yourself, which type of Femininity are you currently embodying? Dark or Divine? For a long time, I was exhibiting a lot of Dark Feminine qualities, with moments of Divine Femininity sprinkled in here and there. I was ultimately a kind and good-hearted person, but I was also competitive with other women out of insecurity, mostly focused on myself, and had a habit of using seduction, charm and emotional manipulation to get the things I wanted and needed out of life. –but in 2016, I began to undergo a Divine Feminine Makeover, and started taking responsibility for the types of Dark Feminine behaviors that I had become consensual with out of fear and ignorance. Through this process, I discovered the importance and power of cultivating a lifestyle that is characterized by virtue, as well as sexual ethics. Through [brutally] honest self-reflection and the study of virtuous living, I learned how to rid myself of these Dark qualities, and I was able to begin changing my entire life for the better. 

–but beware, there is a lot of fake “divine femininity” out there, too. It's very important to understand that Dark Femininity regularly masquerades as Divine Femininity. This is something I refer to as False Light. This brand of False Light aims to fool women into exploiting their bodies and sexuality, and living lifestyles that are characterized by promiscuity under the guise of body positivity, sexual liberation, and empowerment. This type of trickery can be found in many places, including social media, Hollywood, spiritual and New Age groups, truther communities, and inside of the self-improvement, fitness, and wellness industries. True Divine Femininity will not encourage you to expose and share your body and sexuality with the masses, only Darkness will do this. In reality, this type of exploitive Dark Feminine behavior allows things like human sex trafficking to hide in plain sight, especially online. 

Dark Femininity will also encourage mindsets of superiority and entitlement, such as "Princess," “Queen” or “Goddess” complexes inside of family units and intimate partnerships. Many times, these mind-sets of supremacy go on to encourage and create unrealistic, and often one-sided, relationship expectations that are unfair and unreasonable. Males do not owe you anything simply because you are a female (or vice versa). All types of relationships must be based upon a firm foundation of mutual respect, courtesy and equality. Absolutely no one is more important, or more deserving than another, and no one should be treated as the other person's servant or minion. This also extends to the treatment of children. Helping and having daily chores is one thing, but requiring a child to cater to your every whim simply because you are their Mom, and “you say so/brought them into this world” is a Dark abuse of Feminine power that allows resentment to fester and grow, souring the sacredness of the Mother-Child bond. 

Hyper-independent female attitudes and lifestyles are championed within Dark Feminine propaganda, too, as being an “independent woman” is now glorified to the extreme in mass media, music, and movies. Taking advantage of the pangs of past trauma and unresolved heartbreak, this “me, myself & I” type of rhetoric aims to degrade and devalue the family unit, often demonizes or belittles men as a whole, and ultimately works to hurt the mental health, and welfare of women by persuading them to believe they are better off alone. –but the truth is we do need help sometimes. Being independent of everyone 24/7 can impact you negatively, emotionally physically and spiritually. We are not supposed to be living life fully alone, and being unable or unwilling to accept affection or help when we need it is in fact unhealthy. 

Attitudes of both hyper-independence and female-superiority cause imbalances to occur within the female psyche. These imbalances regularly encourage behaviors that are narcissistic, controlling and overly-masculine which can in turn send friends and loved ones running for the hills. This can also contribute to the inability for a woman to find or keep a proper romantic partner even when she actually wants one. 

As I learned more about the two different types of Femininity, I challenged myself to begin integrating real Divine Femininity into my everyday life. I began examining each thought, choice, and action I was making, determining if it was Dark or Divine. When I found myself thinking or behaving in ways that were Darkly Feminine, I started asking myself “why” in order to get to the root of the problem. By doing this over and over again, I was able to lift the veil, identifying issues, past trauma and hidden fears that were keeping me stationed in Dark Femininity. Why was I wearing such a revealing dress? Why was I making this post, or sharing that picture? Why was I thinking, or feeling this way, and acting that way? Why was I pushing good people away from me? I even began questioning my own sexual preferences and motivations. In an extreme effort to be completely honest with myself, I was able to get to the source of my negative ego, sexual issues, fears and insecurities. Slowly, but surely, I was beginning to heal the Dark side of my Femininity. –but it was not easy, or emotionally comfortable, and it is still an ongoing process today.

When the Feminine healing process began for me, I was also going through my Nutritional Exorcism. I was dismantling my poor dietary habits, and uncovering the truth about my Femininity all at the same time. This is an extremely important part of the puzzle, because our brain and our gut are intrinsically connected. If your gut is loaded down with junk, you are going to have junky thoughts, which are more likely to encourage junky decision making and junky behaviors. –but as you begin eating better, and detoxing your system, you will also start thinking better, and as a result, behaving better and making better decisions. This is how we initiate whole-self healing, involving body, mind and spirit. Nutrition, physical health, mind-set, behavior –everything is connected within the system of the “self.” You can not truly heal without healing all aspects. –and this includes taking inventory of the type of Femininity you are expressing.

Whether you were born female or have transitioned, it should be understood that true Femininity is not measured by seductiveness, flirtatiousness or sex appeal. True Femininity is not defined by a particular look or style, either. –you don’t suddenly have to start wearing pink floofy dresses that are adorned with ribbons and bows, girly makeup or grow your hair past your butt. Your hobbies also do not define your Femininity. You can enjoy fixing cars or building furniture, etc while still being truly Feminine. In reality, Femininity is really about the quality of energy you exude from the inside. Embodying Divine Femininity means embracing and embodying gentleness, peacefulness, compassion, respectfulness, unconditional love and harmlessness as part of your mind-set and overall character. This doesn’t mean we become weak, or that we become doormats for people to take advantage of, it means we respect ourselves (including our boundaries) and others at all times. This in turn develops real strength. –strength of character, strength of mental fortitude, and strength of spirit. As we begin to heal and strengthen ourselves on the inside, the outside, meaning our physical body, appearance and behaviors, will naturally follow suit. 

So, how do we do this? How do we begin to heal our Feminine energy, becoming stronger, respectful and harmless to ourselves and others? 

The first major step is to stop competing. 

When we begin to understand what Divine Femininity is, we come to realize that true beauty is abundant, unlimited and comes in many different forms, shapes and sizes. This teaches us that one person’s beauty does not take away from our own unless we let our insecurities trigger us into Darkly competitive mindsets. We must be appreciative, and welcoming of all beauty that is genuine, harmless and non-narcissistic, forgoing and overcoming urges to judge or compete with each other through displays of Dark Femininity, like outslutting. This means ridding ourselves of the mind sets of superiority and inferiority, including competitive behavior such as focusing on being “the best dressed” or “out-dressing” others. To be truly beautiful, inside and out, we must want, and allow others to be uniquely beautiful, too, without placing hierarchical value onto them or ourselves.

The same goes for wanting, and allowing others to be successful. Cattiness, sarcasm or any other type of negative response that disrespects, demeans or belittles someone else's successes or accomplishments is not acceptable. Being a “Mean Girl” is not acceptable. These types of reactions point to insecurities and fears that must be healed within the self as we move away from Dark Femininity, and forward towards repairing societal harmony, and gaining inner well-being. 

Although we have been tricked into believing that Dark Femininity is empowering and “normal,” it is not. Dark Femininity is robbing us of what it truly means to a woman, friend, mother, wife and partner. Your true self is Divinely Feminine. –and it is never too late to resurrect true Femininity within yourself.  

-Mallory

“Let it start with us right now. Even if the world does not change, at least we have.”

Are you ready for a Femininity Makeover? My new book OUTSLUTTED will give you the tools you need to begin performing your own Divine Feminine Makeover today. Get it HERE!

 

 

GSF

Is it time for a Femininity Makeover?

Whether you consider yourself a girly-girl, tomboy or somewhere in between, when it comes down to it, there are only two types of femininity: Dark and Divine. 

In today’s society, we are all very familiar with Dark Femininity, even though we may not label it as such. This is the type of Femininity that is lionized in the media, by influencers and celebrities in popular culture. Nowadays, whether in online spaces or in public, Dark Femininity is glorified as the ideal type of Feminine, placing supreme focus on being seen as “sexy” and superior. Dark Femininity is competitive, judgmental, seductive, narcissistic, focused on material goods, wealth and looks, and is ultimately out to satisfy numero uno at all costs. This includes using sex and sexuality as a way to make money, and as a weapon, or bargaining chip. 

On the flip side, Divine Femininity, or Sacred Femininity, is the true, authentic expression of the Female as it was originally intended by God. Finding her power in virtues, a Divinely Feminine woman is heart-centered, harmless, trustworthy, peaceful, nurturing, unconditionally loving, balanced and service oriented. A Divinely Feminine woman appreciates the true beauty of herself, as well as all other individuals, and understands the importance of maintaining authenticity. A Divinely Feminine woman accepts and loves herself as she is, and augmentation of the physical self or personality (false airs) is not necessary to suit societal trends, or the whims of other people.

To fully understand what Divine Femininity is, it helps to better understand what it is not, first. 

Divine Femininity is not:

Arrogant, narcissistic or brazenFlashy, does not flaunt, show-off, boast or bragCompetitive or rivalrousJealous or enviousLustfulAnimalistic or carnalPromiscuous or adulterousVengefulSpitefulDestructive physically or emotionallyJudgmental of others or the selfDishonest, deceptive or sneakySeductive ManipulativeForceful or aggressiveDomineeringDisrespectful, undignified, sarcastic or crude

So ask yourself, which type of Femininity are you currently embodying? Dark or Divine? For a long time, I was exhibiting a lot of Dark Feminine qualities, with moments of Divine Femininity sprinkled in here and there. I was ultimately a kind and good-hearted person, but I was also competitive with other women out of insecurity, mostly focused on myself, and had a habit of using seduction, charm and emotional manipulation to get the things I wanted and needed out of life. –but in 2016, I began to undergo a Divine Feminine Makeover, and started taking responsibility for the types of Dark Feminine behaviors that I had become consensual with out of fear and ignorance. Through this process, I discovered the importance and power of cultivating a lifestyle that is characterized by virtue, as well as sexual ethics. Through [brutally] honest self-reflection and the study of virtuous living, I learned how to rid myself of these Dark qualities, and I was able to begin changing my entire life for the better. 

–but beware, there is a lot of fake “divine femininity” out there, too. It's very important to understand that Dark Femininity regularly masquerades as Divine Femininity. This is something I refer to as False Light. This brand of False Light aims to fool women into exploiting their bodies and sexuality, and living lifestyles that are characterized by promiscuity under the guise of body positivity, sexual liberation, and empowerment. This type of trickery can be found in many places, including social media, Hollywood, spiritual and New Age groups, truther communities, and inside of the self-improvement, fitness, and wellness industries. True Divine Femininity will not encourage you to expose and share your body and sexuality with the masses, only Darkness will do this. In reality, this type of exploitive Dark Feminine behavior allows things like human sex trafficking to hide in plain sight, especially online. 

Dark Femininity will also encourage mindsets of superiority and entitlement, such as "Princess," “Queen” or “Goddess” complexes inside of family units and intimate partnerships. Many times, these mind-sets of supremacy go on to encourage and create unrealistic, and often one-sided, relationship expectations that are unfair and unreasonable. Males do not owe you anything simply because you are a female (or vice versa). All types of relationships must be based upon a firm foundation of mutual respect, courtesy and equality. Absolutely no one is more important, or more deserving than another, and no one should be treated as the other person's servant or minion. This also extends to the treatment of children. Helping and having daily chores is one thing, but requiring a child to cater to your every whim simply because you are their Mom, and “you say so/brought them into this world” is a Dark abuse of Feminine power that allows resentment to fester and grow, souring the sacredness of the Mother-Child bond. 

Hyper-independent female attitudes and lifestyles are championed within Dark Feminine propaganda, too, as being an “independent woman” is now glorified to the extreme in mass media, music, and movies. Taking advantage of the pangs of past trauma and unresolved heartbreak, this “me, myself & I” type of rhetoric aims to degrade and devalue the family unit, often demonizes or belittles men as a whole, and ultimately works to hurt the mental health, welfare of women by persuading them to believe they are better off alone. –but the truth is we do need help sometimes. Being independent of everyone 24/7 can impact you negatively, emotionally physically and spiritually. We are not supposed to be living life fully alone, and being unable or unwilling to accept affection or help when we need it is in fact unhealthy. 

Attitudes of both hyper-independence and female-superiority cause imbalances to occur within the female psyche. These imbalances regularly encourage behaviors that are narcissistic, controlling and overly-masculine which can in turn send friends and loved ones running for the hills. This can also contribute to the inability for a woman to find or keep a proper romantic partner even when she actually wants one. 

As I learned more about the two different types of Femininity, I challenged myself to begin integrating real Divine Femininity into my everyday life. I began examining each thought, choice, and action I was making, determining if it was Dark or Divine. When I found myself thinking or behaving in ways that were Darkly Feminine, I started asking myself “why” in order to get to the root of the problem. By doing this over and over again, I was able to lift the veil, identifying issues, past trauma and hidden fears that were keeping me stationed in Dark Femininity. Why was I wearing such a revealing dress? Why was I making this post, or sharing that picture? Why was I thinking, or feeling this way, and acting that way? Why was I pushing good people away from me? I even began questioning my own sexual preferences and motivations. In an extreme effort to be completely honest with myself, I was able to get to the source of my negative ego, sexual issues, fears and insecurities. Slowly, but surely, I was beginning to heal the Dark side of my Femininity. –but it was not easy, or emotionally comfortable, and it is still an ongoing process today.

When the Feminine healing process began for me, I was also going through my Nutritional Exorcism. I was dismantling my poor dietary habits, and uncovering the truth about my Femininity all at the same time. This is an extremely important part of the puzzle, because our brain and our gut are intrinsically connected. If your gut is loaded down with junk, you are going to have junky thoughts, which are more likely to encourage junky decision making and junky behaviors. –but as you begin eating better, and detoxing your system, you will also start thinking better, and as a result, behaving better and making better decisions. This is how we initiate whole-self healing, involving body, mind and spirit. Nutrition, physical health, mind-set, behavior –everything is connected within the system of the “self.” You can not truly heal without healing all aspects. –and this includes taking inventory of the type of Femininity you are expressing.

Whether you were born female or have transitioned, it should be understood that true Femininity is not measured by seductiveness, flirtatiousness or sex appeal. True Femininity is not defined by a particular look or style, either. –you don’t suddenly have to start wearing pink floofy dresses that are adorned with ribbons and bows, girly makeup or grow your hair past your butt. Your hobbies also do not define your Femininity. You can enjoy fixing cars or building furniture, etc while still being truly Feminine. In reality, Femininity is really about the quality of energy you exude from the inside. Embodying Divine Femininity means embracing and embodying gentleness, peacefulness, compassion, respectfulness, unconditional love and harmlessness as part of your mind-set and overall character. This doesn’t mean we become weak, or that we become doormats for people to take advantage of, it means we respect ourselves (including our boundaries) and others at all times. This in turn develops real strength. –strength of character, strength of mental fortitude, and strength of spirit. As we begin to heal and strengthen ourselves on the inside, the outside, meaning our physical body, appearance and behaviors, will naturally follow suit. 

So, how do we do this? How do we begin to heal our Feminine energy, becoming stronger, respectful and harmless to ourselves and others? 

The first major step is to stop competing. 

When we begin to understand what Divine Femininity is, we come to realize that true beauty is abundant, unlimited and comes in many different forms, shapes and sizes. This teaches us that one person’s beauty does not take away from our own unless we let our insecurities trigger us into Darkly competitive mindsets. We must be appreciative, and welcoming of all beauty that is genuine, harmless and non-narcissistic, forgoing and overcoming urges to judge or compete with each other through displays of Dark Femininity, like outslutting. This means ridding ourselves of the mind sets of superiority and inferiority, including competitive behavior such as focusing on being “the best dressed” or “out-dressing” others. To be truly beautiful, inside and out, we must want, and allow others to be uniquely beautiful, too, without placing hierarchical value onto them or ourselves.

The same goes for wanting, and allowing others to be successful. Cattiness, sarcasm or any other type of negative response that disrespects, demeans or belittles someone else's successes or accomplishments is not acceptable. Being a “Mean Girl” is not acceptable. These types of reactions point to insecurities and fears that must be healed within the self as we move away from Dark Femininity, and forward towards repairing societal harmony, and gaining inner well-being. 

Although we have been tricked into believing that Dark Femininity is empowering and “normal,” it is not. Dark Femininity is robbing us of what it truly means to a woman, friend, mother, wife and partner. Your true self is Divinely Feminine. –and it is never too late to resurrect true Femininity within yourself.  

-Mallory

“Let it start with us right now. Even if the world does not change, at least we have.”

Are you ready for a Femininity Makeover? My new book OUTSLUTTED will give you the tools you need to begin performing your own Divine Feminine Makeover today. Get it HERE!

 

 

GSF

How I got "California Sober," and beyond

In 2021, I had been living in Hollywood, California for about two years after having moved from New Orleans. Breaking away from the drinking culture of Louisiana, and The Big Easy, I wasn’t going out to bars on a regular basis anymore, and had pretty much stopped having daily drinks with the exception of when I was attending a work event or party. –but it wasn’t until I was at a celebrity golf tournament in Palm Springs that I realized I didn’t want to drink alcohol anymore, at all.

Ironically, this tournament was benefiting the Betty Ford Rehab Center. I had been out on the course all day filming with the crew for our Jim McMahon documentary, and the liquor had been flowing since well before 9am. Now, many hours later, everyone was well libated, and having a rip-roaring good time at the after party, dancing and socializing under the twinkling desert stars. I had gotten a glass of white wine from the open bar, and soon became lost in my own thoughts as I continued people watching from a cocktail table near the dance floor.  As I was sipping this glass of wine, I realized I was not enjoying it at all, and yet, I still continued to drink it. “Why am I drinking this even though I don’t want it?” Was it to feel like I belonged? To be seen as “fun?” Why did I feel that in order to enjoy myself I needed to be drinking alcohol? As I thought back over the course of my drinking career, I began to understand that I was usually drinking for one of five reasons:

 

1. To feel more comfortable

During my college experience and into my previous career as a political fundraiser, I was always surrounded by alcohol. Whether I was in a bar room in Baton Rouge, or throwing a party somewhere for work, I didn’t always feel comfortable in these environments, and sometimes, deep down I didn’t want to be there at all. –but drinking is a big part of adulthood, isn’t it? It certainly seemed like a big part of my job. –and isn't bar hopping what you were supposed to do in Louisiana on a Saturday night? It's an integral element of our culture, and how we celebrate milestones… at least that's what we’re taught. For years, I thought not being into the party scene meant something must be wrong with me. I thought I was the problem. Drinking alcohol is supposed to be the highlight of my day, right? That's what all those commercials on TV tell us. Where else is there to go except to Happy Hour after a long day at the office? How else are you supposed to meet a guy? So I drank my money day after day, and many times drank much more than my fair share due to fighting the feelings of not actually wanting to be in these places, and desperately hoping that the next drink or the next shot would make me feel at ease, and more content. The better I got at drinking, the worse I got at decision making, and my reactionary tendencies heightened tremendously. Any feeling of comfort I found at the bottom of a bottle was false and fleeting, always requiring more and more alcohol to maintain a sense of being “carefree.” In actuality, Happy Hour ended up being not so happy most of the time. 

 

2. To sleep

Even on nights that I skipped the bar, I found myself sipping bourbon on my couch alone, hoping that the next pour would quiet my mind enough so that I could sleep.  Just like trying to make myself feel more comfortable in social spaces, I was also using alcohol to make myself more comfortable with my own thoughts. –and most of the time that meant drinking enough to shut them down completely. Instead of acknowledging and accepting my emotions, and learning how to work through these thoughts and feelings so that they would no longer keep me awake at night, I was using alcohol to ignore them. 

 

3. To be a good hang

Just like not being comfortable in certain environments, I was also not comfortable with certain people, or more so, with certain behaviors. I again thought I was the problem, and that free-wielding ways of living were “normal” and even preferable. So I drank to become a different person, and to drown out that little voice in my head who said… “eehhhh, I should probably go home. This ain’t it.”  It took me a long time to realize I was actually drowning out my true self, my conscience, and my gut instinct. By ignoring and silencing this part of me, I often found myself in unpleasant scenarios that were completely avoidable. 

 

4. Because it's what you are supposed to do

“What’s wrong with you? Why aren’t you drinking? Are you pregnant, or something?” Many times these are the questions I would get asked if I failed to have a drink in my hand at an event or when out with friends. The pressure to be seen drinking in order to be viewed as “ok” by others led me to drink even when I didn’t want to, solely to avoid awkwardness or being seen as “dull.” During my fundraising career it was normal to have drinks at meetings all day long. –breakfast mimosas, lunch martinis, wine at dinner and cocktails at the campaign event. Some of my political clients owned bars too, and we would literally have our staff meetings inside the bar room. I was swimming in liquor 24/7, and for a very long time I didn’t really think this was out of the ordinary. I thought this was just what you do when you live and work in Louisiana.  –and even when I did think to myself “this is probably too much,” I wasn’t self-assured enough to pass on the shot of whiskey that a donor or my client offered to me. I couldn’t stand in my truth because I was afraid I might not get the next job, or the next donation if I seemed like a party pooper. I didn’t have the confidence to be my authentic self because I was too worried about what other people thought of me, and this caused me to end up drinking even more. 

 

5. Pleasure seeking

If I had a bad day at work, or was experiencing disappointment inside of a relationship, I’d say things like “I need a drink.” This is escapism, plain and simple, and I was using alcohol as a form of pleasure seeking, hoping that I could drink away moments or memories of displeasure, my stressful thoughts, and negative or fearful inner-dialogue. I just wanted to feel happy, and I thought alcohol was the answer, even though it was only making the problems I had seem worse, while also creating new ones.

–but on that warm and windy night in Palm Springs, the stars aligned, you might say. Years of poor reasoning and excuses whirled around in my head, and I decided to ditch the wine glass. –and I haven’t picked one up since. I was officially "California Sober," until a month later, when I stopped using cannabis, too. I didn’t need any of it anymore. I was "sober, sober," and ready to stand in my truth, owning up to it all. Intoxicated, "toxic" being the key term here, was not something I wanted to be any longer.

In tandem with making this decision, I dedicated myself to asking the hard questions. By continually asking myself “why,” I was able to get to the bottom of my emotional issues, heading off any fearful thoughts that had previously caused me to use drinking or smoking as a distraction and a crutch. Because that's what it is– Any type of addiction, whether alcohol, drugs, food, shopping, sex, porn or otherwise, is actually a distraction that diverts our attention away from feelings of unhappiness, fears, emotional issues and anxieties by serving as a coping or defense mechanism. This is why ridding ourselves of addictions can be so difficult, because it isn’t necessarily the habit that is causing the problem or fixation, it’s our emotional state. Until we learn how to deal with our emotions and not ignore them, we will not be able to successfully overcome our addictions long term because we will still be looking for some manner of escape. This is why someone will often drop one bad habit, only to pick up an addiction of a different color. Addiction is simply a bad band-aid. To truly heal yourself, you must get to the source of the problem. –and most of the time, the source of the problem lives in your mind, and in your heart. 

Many of us are dealing with a broken heart, and many times this is why we turn to alcohol, thinking it will help us be able to move on. --but alcohol will never heal a broken heart. It will only amplify the ache.  Alcohol, or any other addiction, won't quell loneliness, ease depression or extinguish anger, either. You can't put a bandaid over a gunshot wound, and expect to be fine in the morning. To heal these parts of us, we must look inside ourselves, as nothing on the external will ever do the trick. 

Since choosing to fore-go alcohol, I have gained loads of self-confidence by unapologetically being my authentic-self, and learning how to face problems and deal with disappointments in a healthy way. My tendency for acting upon destructive impulsiveness has become a thing of the past, and it's incredibly freeing to be back in the driver’s seat of my own life, never having to wonder or ask “what happened last night?” –but these changes in perspective did not happen overnight, and it required being brutally honest with myself.  I first had to accept that alcohol was not helping me, it was hurting me, creating even more problems, and hindering my potential. After taking full responsibility for this self-created problem, I had to then forgive myself for allowing it to occur. Once I took the pressure off of myself, letting go of any shame, guilt or self-judgment, I was able to start facing my emotions head on, and with time, I began to experience more blessings, and less and less adversity. 

Being completely honest with myself, and answering the "why's" was not fun or pretty, but it was necessary to be able to move forward. Sugar-coating the facts will not work, and will not enable real change. 

By participating with this process I was able to clean up my habits, and my emotions, gaining strength of character and a renewed sense of self-respect. Although there were times in the beginning that I felt like an outsider in social situations where alcohol was a focus, I eventually realized that I certainly do not need alcohol or any other foreign substance to have a good time, to celebrate, or for other people to like me. I can have just as much fun sipping a Shirley Temple, rather than a Sazerac.

Some of my friendships did change, but not being focused on drinking also freed up a lot of my time and brain power, and I was able to direct that positive energy into new relationships, projects and activities that were meaningful and beneficial to myself and others. I came to understand that I’ve got a lot more to offer to the world than my drinking skills. --and not only did I feel better, but I looked better, too. By working through my addictions, I gained so much more in return, and truly became a better, happier and more productive person who now experiences very minimal conflict.

So ask yourself, why are you drinking, or using drugs and substances? Is it making you happy? Or, is it simply a distraction?  

Cheers to mocktails, and finding a happier & healthier you!

-Mallory
@malloryckennedy

Have You Been Outslutted?

Last week I released my fourth book, OUTSLUTTED, and I sure hope the title was enough to get your attention, and spark your curiosity! By sharing personal stories of my successes and failures, OUTSLUTTED aims to help females stop competing with each other, break self-limiting habits and uncover their true identity, beauty and spirituality without judgment or shame for what they may have done in the past. 

Through the power of asking “why,” OUTSLUTTED poses hard questions, while also shedding light on the current state of modern Femininity, its effects on society, and the generational consequences we face as we cope and contend with mass media, social influencers, Power Mongers, mind control and Dark sexuality. 

Here’s a sneak peek to give you an idea of what this book is all about!

------

Chapter 1

Outslut

 verb

Competing with others by exhibiting a suggestive appearance or demeanor, and seductive or sexually explicit behavior.Attempting to exert one’s self-perceived sexual superiority over another person or group. Inflicting feelings of sexual inferiority upon another.

To be outslutted

Feeling sexually inferior to another person in terms of physical appearance, dress or in comparison to the way they behave and present themselves socially, whether online or in public.

“How can you be fully covered, but still look sexier than me?,” asked my exasperated best friend as she stood in front of me in her super short, cleavage-baring dress.  Bound for a charity event, I was caught off guard by her comment because I was already busy fretting that I should have worn a different outfit because I thought she was the one who looked “sexier” than me, and I figured she would subsequently get more attention than I would during our outing together. I ignored her remark by giggling to hide the insecurity I was feeling, and we went on with our night just as we did every other. 

Four years later, this superficially unimportant exchange came back to my memory, begging to be witnessed again with fresh eyes. If you had asked either of us at the time, we would have both considered ourselves to be one of the “classy” girls in town. Outwardly we appeared confident, we were polite, nice, knowledgeable and in our opinion, well-dressed. –but on the classy side or not, had we still somehow “outslutted” each other? –even with what we had then considered being conservatively-dressed for a charity event? –had we been silently competing on a daily basis for years? The answer was yes, and the questions kept coming. When did this start? –had our own underlying insecurities subconsciously caused us to attempt to outslut each other, and other females, too? What were we competing for? –attention? –adoration? –self-assurance? Did this vying behavior ultimately serve as an element to us growing apart as friends? Had outslutting each other become too tiring to keep up with? Were we unintentionally doing damage to each other psychologically? Had we fallen into some sort of consciousness trap where we had actually become rivals? The answer to it all was sadly yes. 

Believe it or not, remembering this seemingly insignificant blip of a conversation is what jump-started my Feminine healing process, and it eventually led me to learn that when being “sexy” is valued over Love and true beauty, outslutting each other becomes an unspoken competitive sport where there is no real winner.

I didn’t fully understand it just yet, but once I recognized that the game of Outslutting was in play, I began seeing it and its effects everywhere, spoiling interactions and relationships at every turn. I’m sure “outslutting,” as I jokingly refer to it, is something we can all identify with, and have experienced in many different forms over the course of our lives. It can appear both as competition between friends or family, and can be caused by strangers who cross our path in public, in the media or online. For example, when you're out at a restaurant enjoying a nice dinner with your significant other, or are on a date– –you're having fun and feeling perfectly confident until a girl who is more suggestively-dressed than you struts past your table. That's it. That’s the extent of the interaction, but suddenly, the carefree-confidence you exuded all evening goes right out the window, and you’re left feeling “less-than” while silently screaming to your date “please don’t see her!” Yep, you’ve been outslutted. Of course, your sweetie usually sees this girl too, and the next time you go out in public you're naturally tempted to bare more skin, or wear a “sexier” dress so that you don’t end up feeling outslutted again. As silly as it may seem when we break it down, this is an act of self-defense, and we tend to think that dressing or behaving in a “sexy” manner will keep our partner, Love interest, or people in general looking at us, and not some other random chick. –and so it goes. As our wounded ego tries its best to defend itself, we become more focused on being seen as sexy or hot (which typically means conforming to manufactured societal ideals) instead of cultivating our own unique brand of true beauty, both inside and out. 

Whether it's happening in some form or fashion online, inside of a bar or club, house party, out on the street, at your office or even at church, our fears and insecurities allow this feeling of being outslutted to occur. Our response to these fears of feeling inferior, such as wearing a “sexier” outfit to our next function or posting suggestive selfies online to gain emotional reassurance, many times goes on to trigger these same anxieties in others, and we ultimately become “the outslutter,” too.

Once I understood exactly what outslutting was, and that I was surely suffering from its effects, so many questions began forming in my mind, like what is causing this fearful behavior? Is it possible to heal ourselves from feeling the need to outslut each other? How can we break this dreadful cycle, stop competing with each other, and learn to revalue true beauty and femininity?  I was determined to try to fix this problem within myself, but I had no idea that in order to answer these questions, and find real Truth and healing, I’d have to take a journey down the rabbit hole.

 

Chapter 2

In 2016, my hometown of Baton Rouge, Louisiana experienced a great flood. Our home was affected, and due to being in the flood waters I contracted a severe intestinal infection, and became extremely sick. After the waters receded, I was unable to eat, was in great pain, and as my symptoms intensified there were moments where I honestly felt that I may have been dying. Doctors and antibiotics were unable to help me, and I was left to figure out a way to heal on my own. As I mustered the determination and courage I needed to keep moving forward, I began to undergo what I came to call a “Nutritional Exorcism.” What started as relearning how to eat a proper diet of organic foods, and using holistic healing methods to cure myself of the infection, soon turned into a complete makeover of my body, mind & spirit. As I took inventory of my life, I realized how unfulfilled I felt, and how this unhappy mindset was contributing to my illness, and my inability to heal physically. I ended up taking a deep-dive into learning about energetic healing which led me to begin meticulously examining every aspect of “me,” including my diet, mind-set, behavior and  negative ego in order to “fix myself,” inside and out. I even wrote a book series about it entitled ‘Nutritional Exorcism.’ 

It was during this Nutritional Exorcism, and many hours of research that I learned most of our behavioral and negative ego issues can be traced back to personal trauma (physical or emotional) that we have endured at one point or another, many of which occur during our childhood and formative years. It’s tracking down these traumas, and having the courage to face and explore them that gives us the power and ability to overcome our own damage, and heal ourselves. In order to accomplish this we must acknowledge, take ownership and then forgive ourselves for our past actions, and the choices we’ve made that were ultimately fueled by the ill-effects of the trauma we’ve endured. No one else can do this for us. When we are able and willing to do this emotional work, we gain well-being and can change our life’s direction for the greater good of ourselves, and those around us. This is what I began to do on a daily basis. 

As memories, fears and frustrations came up, I would try my best to look at them from a perspective of neutrality. Through neutrality and honesty, I was able to see both sides of situations, arguments or past experiences, and I was able to learn from them, and apply those lessons to new experiences moving forward. I also found that as my diet improved, my ability to find neutrality and overcome my reactionary tendencies improved, too. 

A year and a half into the Nutritional Exorcism process, the memories of my best friend and I outslutting each other began coming back to me. This was a kick in the teeth, and I felt like I was starting at square one again. –but as uncomfortable as it was to look back at, I knew the only way to heal whatever it was that was surfacing was to push through the unpleasantness, and deal with it. Dealing with it, willingly, and not avoiding or blocking out the ugly Truth ultimately is what opened up a pathway that led me toward Feminine sexual healing, and has completely changed the direction of my life.

Not long after this part of the healing process began for me, my boyfriend and I moved from New Orleans, Louisiana to Hollywood, California. With our new home being near the Walk of Fame on Hollywood Boulevard, we enjoyed spending the sunny days and cool evenings strolling, and exploring our new surroundings. It just so happened that during the first few months of our move, the Broadway show Frozen was playing at the Pantages Theatre. Twice a day we’d see herds of little girls all dolled-up, and dressed to the nines in pretty bows and poofy princess-worthy dresses heading to see the show. I always enjoyed watching them excitedly bouncing by, while also noticing the huge contrast between how the grown ladies around them dressed and presented themselves. I began to wonder where exactly does this change from wanting to look “beautiful” to instead “sexy” occur for us? Does this have to do with being outslutted? Does everything change for us on the day we first endure this type of mental and emotional trauma? Is this when we begin seeing each other as sexual adversaries?

So, in digging into it, and being honest with ourselves with the intent to heal the hurt– Who outslutted you? –originally? Was it a friend, a rival, an actress in a movie, your sister or even your own Mother? –and who have you outslutted?

------

 Want more? OUTSLUTTED is now available for direct download here at MalloryKennedy.com and on Amazon & Kindle Unlimited.

 

Sneak Peek: OUTSLUTTED

Last week I released my fourth book, OUTSLUTTED, and I sure hope the title was enough to get your attention, and spark your curiosity! By sharing personal stories of my successes and failures, OUTSLUTTED aims to help females stop competing with each other, break self-limiting habits and uncover their true identity, beauty and spirituality without judgment or shame for what they may have done in the past. 

Through the power of asking “why,” OUTSLUTTED poses hard questions, while also shedding light on the current state of modern Femininity, its effects on society, and the generational consequences we face as we cope and contend with mass media, social influencers, Power Mongers, mind control and Dark sexuality. 

Here’s a sneak peek to give you an idea of what this book is all about!

------

Chapter 1

Outslut

 verb

Competing with others by exhibiting a suggestive appearance or demeanor, and seductive or sexually explicit behavior.Attempting to exert one’s self-perceived sexual superiority over another person or group. Inflicting feelings of sexual inferiority upon another.

To be outslutted

Feeling sexually inferior to another person in terms of physical appearance, dress or in comparison to the way they behave and present themselves socially, whether online or in public.

“How can you be fully covered, but still look sexier than me?,” asked my exasperated best friend as she stood in front of me in her super short, cleavage-baring dress.  Bound for a charity event, I was caught off guard by her comment because I was already busy fretting that I should have worn a different outfit because I thought she was the one who looked “sexier” than me, and I figured she would subsequently get more attention than I would during our outing together. I ignored her remark by giggling to hide the insecurity I was feeling, and we went on with our night just as we did every other. 

Four years later, this superficially unimportant exchange came back to my memory, begging to be witnessed again with fresh eyes. If you had asked either of us at the time, we would have both considered ourselves to be one of the “classy” girls in town. Outwardly we appeared confident, we were polite, nice, knowledgeable and in our opinion, well-dressed. –but on the classy side or not, had we still somehow “outslutted” each other? –even with what we had then considered being conservatively-dressed for a charity event? –had we been silently competing on a daily basis for years? The answer was yes, and the questions kept coming. When did this start? –had our own underlying insecurities subconsciously caused us to attempt to outslut each other, and other females, too? What were we competing for? –attention? –adoration? –self-assurance? Did this vying behavior ultimately serve as an element to us growing apart as friends? Had outslutting each other become too tiring to keep up with? Were we unintentionally doing damage to each other psychologically? Had we fallen into some sort of consciousness trap where we had actually become rivals? The answer to it all was sadly yes. 

Believe it or not, remembering this seemingly insignificant blip of a conversation is what jump-started my Feminine healing process, and it eventually led me to learn that when being “sexy” is valued over Love and true beauty, outslutting each other becomes an unspoken competitive sport where there is no real winner.

I didn’t fully understand it just yet, but once I recognized that the game of Outslutting was in play, I began seeing it and its effects everywhere, spoiling interactions and relationships at every turn. I’m sure “outslutting,” as I jokingly refer to it, is something we can all identify with, and have experienced in many different forms over the course of our lives. It can appear both as competition between friends or family, and can be caused by strangers who cross our path in public, in the media or online. For example, when you're out at a restaurant enjoying a nice dinner with your significant other, or are on a date– –you're having fun and feeling perfectly confident until a girl who is more suggestively-dressed than you struts past your table. That's it. That’s the extent of the interaction, but suddenly, the carefree-confidence you exuded all evening goes right out the window, and you’re left feeling “less-than” while silently screaming to your date “please don’t see her!” Yep, you’ve been outslutted. Of course, your sweetie usually sees this girl too, and the next time you go out in public you're naturally tempted to bare more skin, or wear a “sexier” dress so that you don’t end up feeling outslutted again. As silly as it may seem when we break it down, this is an act of self-defense, and we tend to think that dressing or behaving in a “sexy” manner will keep our partner, Love interest, or people in general looking at us, and not some other random chick. –and so it goes. As our wounded ego tries its best to defend itself, we become more focused on being seen as sexy or hot (which typically means conforming to manufactured societal ideals) instead of cultivating our own unique brand of true beauty, both inside and out. 

Whether it's happening in some form or fashion online, inside of a bar or club, house party, out on the street, at your office or even at church, our fears and insecurities allow this feeling of being outslutted to occur. Our response to these fears of feeling inferior, such as wearing a “sexier” outfit to our next function or posting suggestive selfies online to gain emotional reassurance, many times goes on to trigger these same anxieties in others, and we ultimately become “the outslutter,” too.

Once I understood exactly what outslutting was, and that I was surely suffering from its effects, so many questions began forming in my mind, like what is causing this fearful behavior? Is it possible to heal ourselves from feeling the need to outslut each other? How can we break this dreadful cycle, stop competing with each other, and learn to revalue true beauty and femininity?  I was determined to try to fix this problem within myself, but I had no idea that in order to answer these questions, and find real Truth and healing, I’d have to take a journey down the rabbit hole.

 

Chapter 2

In 2016, my hometown of Baton Rouge, Louisiana experienced a great flood. Our home was affected, and due to being in the flood waters I contracted a severe intestinal infection, and became extremely sick. After the waters receded, I was unable to eat, was in great pain, and as my symptoms intensified there were moments where I honestly felt that I may have been dying. Doctors and antibiotics were unable to help me, and I was left to figure out a way to heal on my own. As I mustered the determination and courage I needed to keep moving forward, I began to undergo what I came to call a “Nutritional Exorcism.” What started as relearning how to eat a proper diet of organic foods, and using holistic healing methods to cure myself of the infection, soon turned into a complete makeover of my body, mind & spirit. As I took inventory of my life, I realized how unfulfilled I felt, and how this unhappy mindset was contributing to my illness, and my inability to heal physically. I ended up taking a deep-dive into learning about energetic healing which led me to begin meticulously examining every aspect of “me,” including my diet, mind-set, behavior and  negative ego in order to “fix myself,” inside and out. I even wrote a book series about it entitled ‘Nutritional Exorcism.’ 

It was during this Nutritional Exorcism, and many hours of research that I learned most of our behavioral and negative ego issues can be traced back to personal trauma (physical or emotional) that we have endured at one point or another, many of which occur during our childhood and formative years. It’s tracking down these traumas, and having the courage to face and explore them that gives us the power and ability to overcome our own damage, and heal ourselves. In order to accomplish this we must acknowledge, take ownership and then forgive ourselves for our past actions, and the choices we’ve made that were ultimately fueled by the ill-effects of the trauma we’ve endured. No one else can do this for us. When we are able and willing to do this emotional work, we gain well-being and can change our life’s direction for the greater good of ourselves, and those around us. This is what I began to do on a daily basis. 

As memories, fears and frustrations came up, I would try my best to look at them from a perspective of neutrality. Through neutrality and honesty, I was able to see both sides of situations, arguments or past experiences, and I was able to learn from them, and apply those lessons to new experiences moving forward. I also found that as my diet improved, my ability to find neutrality and overcome my reactionary tendencies improved, too. 

A year and a half into the Nutritional Exorcism process, the memories of my best friend and I outslutting each other began coming back to me. This was a kick in the teeth, and I felt like I was starting at square one again. –but as uncomfortable as it was to look back at, I knew the only way to heal whatever it was that was surfacing was to push through the unpleasantness, and deal with it. Dealing with it, willingly, and not avoiding or blocking out the ugly Truth ultimately is what opened up a pathway that led me toward Feminine sexual healing, and has completely changed the direction of my life.

Not long after this part of the healing process began for me, my boyfriend and I moved from New Orleans, Louisiana to Hollywood, California. With our new home being near the Walk of Fame on Hollywood Boulevard, we enjoyed spending the sunny days and cool evenings strolling, and exploring our new surroundings. It just so happened that during the first few months of our move, the Broadway show Frozen was playing at the Pantages Theatre. Twice a day we’d see herds of little girls all dolled-up, and dressed to the nines in pretty bows and poofy princess-worthy dresses heading to see the show. I always enjoyed watching them excitedly bouncing by, while also noticing the huge contrast between how the grown ladies around them dressed and presented themselves. I began to wonder where exactly does this change from wanting to look “beautiful” to instead “sexy” occur for us? Does this have to do with being outslutted? Does everything change for us on the day we first endure this type of mental and emotional trauma? Is this when we begin seeing each other as sexual adversaries?

So, in digging into it, and being honest with ourselves with the intent to heal the hurt– Who outslutted you? –originally? Was it a friend, a rival, an actress in a movie, your sister or even your own Mother? –and who have you outslutted?

------

 Want more? OUTSLUTTED is now available for direct download here at MalloryKennedy.com and on Amazon & Kindle Unlimited.

 

Finding Solace in the City

Three years ago, my partner and I relocated from New Orleans, Louisiana to Los Angeles, California for a series of film projects. While I was happy to be here, and experience new surroundings, making the transition from the muggy Gulf Coast to the dry weather of the West was quite significant. I never, ever, thought I’d miss gray overcast days and constant humidity so very much. –but most of all, I found that the noise level of the city was one of the most difficult things that I’d have to get used to enduring. 

When in NOLA, we were living only a block off of Canal Street on Loyola Avenue, so I was used to the constant sounds of city life. I believe that New Orleans in itself is the epitome of jazz. Whether it was the sound of speeding sirens, honking horns in traffic, the tinging of the street cars, blaring brass bands, or joyful parading and the general revelry of locals and tourists that fills the city 24/7,  even at its noisiest and most hectic, New Orleans maintains a musicality at all times. –and I’ve never appreciated this more until living elsewhere. Compared to the melodic street symphony of the Big Easy, Los Angeles is the equivalent of a horrendously screechy tune up of an orchestra before the show is set to begin. (Sorry LA, but it’s true.)  

As I write this there is a woman standing on our street corner who has been yelling furiously into a bullhorn, non-stop, for over four hours now, while police helicopters and military aircraft buzz so low that the walls seem to vibrate. Constant wailing of fire trucks and ambulances, blaring horns, squealing brakes, revving engines, pounding jackhammers and angry or deranged individuals screaming on the streets, this is what a normal day sounds like here. There is no parade, there is no protest or event, but the sustained noise pollution is unlike anything I’ve ever personally experienced (including in New York or Chicago, which I feel both maintain their own type of musicality, too.) It's truly enough to drive you bonkers if you let it. So, how are we supposed to find solace when we have to live in cities or environments like these that are not conducive to achieving or maintaining peacefulness?

First off, you have to understand that this is ultimately a big part of The Gotcha Game. These sounds are trying to stress you out, and it's solely up to you not to let them. You have to fight back by finding, and sustaining a level of inner solace that can not be shaken even when the world is going nutty around you. You have to be able to be and create your own peace no matter where you are or who you are with. Being at peace must become a constant. If your inner-peace becomes an unwavering constant, then nothing random that comes along will be able to shake you. This is real strength.

So, how do we do this? Like anything worthwhile, finding and maintaining inner-peace takes practice. Whether you are in a big city, sitting on a noisy plane or trapped in bumper to bumper traffic with a crying toddler, sometimes we can not completely shut the world out, so we have to learn how to improvise during these stressful moments through mindful breathing in order to create inner stillness, and deliberately slow down any racing thoughts to avoid giving in to a reactionary fluster up. Once you spend time and effort towards maintaining a quiet and peaceful mind, it will become more and more effortless and automatic. I like to refer to this as achieving a “walking meditation.” As you begin to get your mind under control, at the same time, we can also take steps to help our outer world become more palatable. 

As a means to combat the chaoticness going on outside of my condo, I find that putting on calming jazz or other instrumental music that is smooth and relaxing helps to prevent any frenzied energy from being able to infiltrate and negatively affect me or my mood. 

In any situation, calming music can be used as medicine, as it is a balm for the body, mind and spirit. –but it must be the right kind of music. You see, one of the most powerful elements of nourishment that we encounter on a daily basis is sound. If we are continually surrounded by stressful noises, like manic city sounds, screaming children, or arguing and shouting (whether at home or in our workplace), this takes a toll on our physical bodies, mental condition, health and spiritual wellness. This also extends to the music we listen to, especially if we are already experiencing stress, anger, anxiety or depression. The healing power of music is universally recognized, but this is also understood by Dark energetic forces who have exploited and hijacked music, and the music industry in order to turn sound into a psychological weapon that can be used to mind control, trigger, scramble and emotionally torment us. As this is our current reality, it becomes evermore important to only listen to music that is uplifting, positive or calming. When we listen to music that is a-melodic, frenzied, or contains angry and hate-filled lyrics, if we are already experiencing stress or low states of mind, we can easily become more agitated, upset and flustered. An easy example of this is if we are stuck in stand-still traffic, listening to intense music is more likely to contribute to us experiencing instances of road rage and increasing our frustration. As the goal is to be happy, peaceful and calm, we should only be listening to music that supports this way of being. –and the same goes for anything we engage with visually. 

When we read books and watch news programs, TV shows or movies that depict violence, war, rape and torture, these occurrences are in fact traumatic to our psyche. These types of scenes elicit emotional responses in the brain and body that are distressing, and even though we are not experiencing these events in the physical, we are experiencing them energetically.  It is in this way that these energetic or imagined experiences go on to create increased stress and instances of subtle emotional fragmentation. As we are exposed to these types of energetic traumas, a form of dissociation occurs and allows us to cope by writing off these visuals as being “not real,” separate from us and even entertaining. In addition to increasing our stress levels, continually reading, listening to or watching this type of content also contributes to us becoming numb or unaffected by scenes of violence or emotional abuse, and we become increasingly unempathetic in real life situations. As with sound, it is very important to surround ourselves with happy, pleasant and uplifting visuals in order to maintain inner-peace. One of the best ways to do this is through observing nature, such as watching birds and wildlife, or admiring beautiful gardens. –but if you are currently a city dweller like me, sometimes this can be hard to accomplish. 

Keeping in line with the concept that energetically there is no  difference between what you watch on a screen, and what you experience in real life, My partner and I began putting live YouTube nature feeds on our TV during the day while we worked. Now, the chaos of the city outside is masked by the sounds of birds, bunnies, squirrels, chipmunks and all sorts of other woodland creatures, paired with a soundtrack of upbeat instrumental music. Although you don't get the full experience of sitting in a lawn chair with the breeze on your face as you watch these little creatures scurry about, you do get treated to many sights and sounds that add to your peacefulness and make you smile throughout the day.   

Here are a few other ways that can help increase the peacefulness of your surroundings:

Planting Peace - Having fresh cut flowers and greenery indoors helps bring the joy and beauty of nature closer to you. In an effort to make the most out of our small outdoor space, we are also working on a balcony makeover, that includes a small garden of herbs and vegetables where we can relax, feel more grounded and enjoy a bit of sunshine, or stargaze at night.Befriending the Birds - There are large populations of birds in the city, and like us, many times our feathered friends are not getting adequate nourishment due to competition and lack of available food or green space. You’ll even regularly see these birds eating garbage out of the gutter. To help them out, we hang hummingbird feeders on our balcony, and put bird seed down where the pigeons and doves congregate. This aids them by supplementing their diet, and brings us a lot of happiness from being able to admire them throughout the day, and watch them flourish. Keeping Clean - The city can be a grimy and gross place. –and as uncleanliness attracts low or negative qualities of energy, it is important to keep your own personal surroundings (and your body) clean and tidy so that positive energy can more freely flow to you, and through your home.  Add Water - When it all gets to be too much, add water. Whether it's stopping to enjoy a soothing cup of tea, or retreating to take a quiet shower, water can help you drift back into a better state of mind. One of the ways I use water is at bedtime by putting on rain sounds while I fall asleep. This gives me something steady to concentrate on, instead of the noise outside, and has improved my quality of sleep tremendously. I also find that putting on the sounds of ocean waves during the day has the same type of calming effect, too.Sharing Peace - Even with so many people around, the city, and world in general, can be a very lonely place. In any way you are able, find ways to share your own peace with others. Where it's giving a meal to someone in need who is living on the streets, or simply saying “have a good day” to a neighbor in the elevator, little moments of kindness can make a big difference in the lives of others, and this actually helps increase the overall peacefulness of an entire area.

However you go about finding and creating your own sense of solace and tranquility while coping with the craziness of life, remember you truly do become what you watch, and what you hear. So, make an effort to watch and hear good things, and increased peacefulness will follow.

-Mallory

 

*As of this writing, the City of Angel’s gifted us with two quiet mornings canopied by overcast gray skies, and a block party complete with a marching brass band. Thank you LA!

 

Here are a few of my favorite Youtube links for enhancing daytime peacefulness:

New Orleans Jazz Instrumentals

Hawaiian Cafe - Waves & Instrumentals

South African Animal Cam

Wielding Weapons Of Mass Seduction

Historically, seduction is a go-to tactic used by spies, intelligence agents, and the like, when conducting matters of espionage. They do this in order to set traps that allow them to extract information while gaining power and control over the people they target. Sometimes referred to as “sexpianoge,”  unfortunately, you and I are the direct targets of this type of manipulation, too. 

Whether we are being targeted in mass by sexualized marketing ads that are trying to persuade us to buy a new product and watch the latest movie, or a political campaign working to sell us on a candidate, our free will is under constant attack. At every turn people, companies and Dark force energies are trying to seduce and tempt us by way of emotional and sexual manipulation in an attempt to control, and influence what we want, think, do and desire. 

Seduction is all around us simply because sex sells. It sells products, it sells services, lifestyles, it even sells ideas. –and the use of sex works to successfully manipulate us into weakened states of mind, especially when we don’t fully understand that we are indeed caught in the crosshairs of savvy hunters who are purposefully exploiting our base ego-desires as a means to push consumerism and Dark agendas. 

Even when we do know we are being targeted, we often still somehow fall prey to alluring marketing ploys and advertising gimmicks while thinking our choices are being freely made. This is how powerful seductive energy is. –and the sales, marketing and PR world isn’t the only place we can observe seduction tactics being used against us either. News and mass media outlets also use emotional and sexual manipulation through word choice, topic choice, headlines, and the hiring of “likable” personalities who they use to feed their information and biases to us while steadily gaining revenue.

Worst of all, the use of seduction has become a new norm in the lives of “normal people" who target each other with “friendly” manipulations on a daily basis.  Used in business dealings and in interpersonal relationships, seductive behavior is highly prevalent, and observable at all levels of society including most families, romances, and friendships. This behavior pattern is also glamorized in cartoons, movies and TV programming which lends to mimicry that can even be observed in the conduct, poses and attitudes of impressionable children. Often encouraged as a way of being, and touted as a method to get the things you want or need out of life and relationships, for many, being seductive has become a badge of honor. 

Regardless of if you are using seduction tactics on social media to gain likes, clicks, and product sponsorships, or in person to entrance your love interest, the truth is, seductive energy is actually a dangerous weapon. –and many of us are wielding this weapon without fully comprehending what we are doing, or understanding the types of energies we are becoming consensual with when we operate and behave in seductive ways.

Seductive energy is not organic to a human’s true nature. It is a quality of energy that influences specific behaviors and thought patterns. You are not born seductive. This is an energy that you choose to take on, and then let express through you as you learn how to use it successfully against others. In this sense, you could say that a person is not seductive, but is instead possessed by this type of energy, or The Spirit of Seduction.  

Looking back at my own posts from years passed, my Instagram page reeked of this Dark energy signature. Although I was unaware at the times they were taken, what looked like typical selfies was proof of my own battle with possession by the Spirit of Seduction. Some of these snap shots weren’t even overtly sexual or physically revealing, but the eyes told a different story. The look in my eyes expressed an energy that was “out to get you.” –out to get your likes, out to get your adoration and sometimes your resources.

You see, possession isn't always marked by a fear of crosses or a person levitating off of a bed, sometimes it can be as simple as an air, attitude, a manner of being, or a subtle narcissistic smirk that silently says “I know I can get whatever I want from you.” 

Admittedly, before my Nutritional Exorcism, the Spirit of Seduction had control over most of my life, including in my job as a professional fundraiser where I was hired to use my natural charisma and Dark ego attributes to gain money, and favor for political and non-profit groups. Whether it was asking for campaign donations or simply getting a free drink from a stranger at a bar, I knew how to emotionally and sexually manipulate people in order to get what I wanted from them, and for many years using body language, flirtation and charm to satisfy my every whim was my normal way of life. From my unaware perspective, these seductive behaviors seemed mostly harmless, and work-wise, I felt I was doing what I had to do to be able to pay the bills. –but in reality I was allowing myself to be controlled, and puppetized by Darkness. –and it was not harmless. It grew my air of Dark Femininity at an alarming rate, and took advantage of other people.

The truth is, the use of seductive energy is a predatory behavior, and is a function of the negative ego, or shadow self, that wants to control and influence the minds, actions, beliefs and desires of others for selfish gain. –and whether using it personally or professionally, seduction in any form is manipulation. –and make no mistake, seduction is satanic. Person, place, thing or product, anything that comes at you with an air of seduction is working in favor of Darkness to manipulate your free will, and vampirize you in one way or another, whether a person consciously knows they are doing it, or not. This is not about casting judgment or shame upon ourselves, but we must become more aware of this reality in order to be able to identify it in and around us so that we can redirect our path towards more virtuous ways of being as we interact with others. Gaining awareness of these negative behaviors in ourselves is how we become responsible, and accountable for our own energy. –and energy does not lie. 

So, look at your photos. Examine your body language, and look at your eyes. What is your selfie saying? What energy are you exuding? Is it seduction? Is it narcissism? Is it bewitchment? When we can be honest with ourselves, we can begin to see where we may have Dark airs and negative-ego attributes at play, and in control of us. As we begin to understand and uncover our own negative ego issues, it always helps to ask “why” in order to gain clarity of our true motivations. Why am I posting this picture, or flaunting my body? Is it to manipulate people into liking or following me, or to gain a sense of self-satisfaction from adoration? Am I trying to get free stuff?; Why am I posing provocatively? Am I looking to elicit desire or lust?; Why am I dressing in this manner at work? Is it to manipulate a client or supervisor? 

When we begin to recognize these behaviors and Dark energy signatures within ourselves through greater self-awareness, it also strengthens our ability to see these negative forces working in the outerscape; such as in the media, the beauty or fashion industry and in Hollywood where celebrities and influencers are using sex and seduction as a means to sway you towards new trends, belief systems or to sell you something you likely don’t need. There is great power in being able to perceive that “ah ha, this person, or this company, is trying to seduce me.”  When we can see these things and people for what they are, and can pinpoint the hidden intent, and type of energy lurking behind them we can unshackle ourselves from the grips of Darkness, and we can regain control over our own free will. 

We can liberate ourselves. We can change for the better, but we have to be honest in order to actually do it. –and sometimes, the Truth isn’t pretty, but it will set us free. 

-Mallory

Is "Faking It" Harming Your Health?

Sustainable living is usually discussed as it pertains to preserving the Earth’s resources, but it can also be applied to the way we conduct, and present ourselves online.

Sustainable online living means maintaining congruence between what we post on social media sites, blogs, bios, etc, and our true selves in real life. This means that what we post should match, and truthfully portray our real personality, lifestyle and image. We should not be posting manufactured facades of what we think we should be, have, or look like.

I, like most of us, have been guilty of this in the past, too. Whether its using filters or editing software on our photos that alters our face, hair and body, or posting in a way that portrays our lifestyle with a false-air of perfection, wealth, affluence or superiority, when it comes down to it, this type of content creation is deceptive, and is outright lying. When we do this, when we falsely portray ourselves, and begin to believe our own delusion, this is called creating a “Reality Bubble,” and this type of disingenuous behavior is unethical, and not sustainable. 

Just as a soap bubble gets too big and pops, as lies amass more and more, a person’s Reality Bubble will implode, too. Whether it's trying to pass off fake yeezys, or a fake family life, the truth will always come to light. –and when it does, this can have devastating effects on a person’s mental and emotional health.

Hearing the phrase "that's not the same guy," or "she looks nothing like she does on Instagram," is most people's worst nightmare. --and this is a self-created nightmare. Think about it, if we continually lie to others by falsely representing ourselves online, how can we expect to be able to go out in public, or go on a date without feeling, and experiencing the increased anxiety and paranoia of being “found out?” We can’t. So we must ask, why are we ok with being fake? Why is online fakery being normalized, encouraged and accepted? --and is this kind of fakery contributing to the growing number of individuals who suffer with depression, and anxiety related disorders, too? 

On the physical end of the spectrum, creating Reality Bubbles, and the inability to escape our truth regularly leads people to use things like extreme makeup, body modification and cosmetic procedures in an attempt to keep up with the false image they’ve created for themselves online. This is also fakery, and this becomes addictive, and harder and more expensive to maintain. –but why do we feel the need to spend loads of time and money on excessive makeup, or surgical procedures? Self-care is one thing, but are we physically augmenting ourselves purely out of fear and self-doubt? Why do women think they need bigger lips, hips, boobs or different noses? Why are more and more men getting muscle implants? Why don’t we feel confident enough as we uniquely are? –and at every age and stage? Do we all actually need psych-evals before stepping foot inside of a cosmetic surgeon’s office, or downloading the latest photo editing app? Have we normalized self-mutilation, and “face tuning” ourselves as a response to feeling inadequate? Why? 

The need to create Reality Bubbles is the product of self-image issues, and insecurities that make us feel we aren’t good enough as we truly, and naturally are. Many times these insecurities can be caused by being exposed to the over-sexualized and materialistic Reality Bubbles of other people, including influencers, celebrities and untruthful marketing campaigns. The truth is, most of the photos and posts we see online are not 100% genuine. Person, place, company or thing, online posts, photos and marketing ads are usually either edited, embellished, posed or downright manufactured using AI. Even health and physical fitness personalities are known to edit their photos in favor of more chiseled muscles, or a more whittled waistline. The reality is, we can't automatically assume or believe that the things and people we see online are actually real anymore. Unfortunately, most of us already know this, but we somehow still fall prey to feeling the need to conform by creating Reality Bubbles of our own. Whether it's posting extremely edited swimsuit photos, or flaunting money, cars and relationships we don’t actually have, we begin to mimic the same looks, attitudes and behaviors that we observe in other people who we consider to be superior, or our competition. Why? Why are we being duped into living an unhealthy, and unsustainable false reality?  

Competition, jealousy, as well as body, relationship or lifestyle envy, and the need for adoration are usually the underlying emotions that can be traced back to why we feel it's necessary to create false versions of ourselves. It's nothing to be ashamed of, we've all been made to feel this way at some point or another. --but understand, you do not need to lie, or change who you are, and the way you look to gain the approval of others. You are enough exactly the way you are. Cookie-cutter definitions of beauty, or falling prey to media-encouraged body trends and materialism is just another way that Darkness tries to control, traumatize us, and make money off of our fears.  

When we can come to fully understand this, the way we look at ourselves, and others changes.  As we work to banish masks, and false identities from our lives, and begin to appreciate realness, that sinking-feeling of body or materialistic envy, and the Spirit of Competition ceases from being able to torment our minds, and we can regain our mental well-being.

As we move forward, we must pop these Reality Bubbles ourselves. This doesn’t mean outing everyone we see creating, or participating in these kinds of delusions, but we must learn to identify when people or companies are being disingenuous, while also taking responsibility for the content and persona that we ourselves are presenting to the world. Accept yourself, and learn to be thankful for who you are, and what you do have.  --and remember that personal authenticity is in alignment with being fully truthful and trustworthy. --and being trustworthy is in alignment with Goodness, and the Light of God. 

So please, stop following fakers, leave the filters off of your photos, and learn to be your organic self. You are enough. 

-Mallory 

Fakery vs Sustainable Living

Sustainable living is usually discussed as it pertains to preserving the Earth’s resources, but it can also be applied to the way we conduct, and present ourselves online.

Sustainable online living means maintaining congruence between what we post on social media sites, blogs, bios, etc, and our true selves in real life. This means that what we post should match, and truthfully portray our real personality, lifestyle and image. We should not be posting manufactured facades of what we think we should be, have, or look like.

I, like most of us, have been guilty of this in the past, too. Whether its using filters or editing software on our photos that alters our face, hair and body, or posting in a way that portrays our lifestyle with a false-air of perfection, wealth, affluence or superiority, when it comes down to it, this type of content creation is deceptive, and is outright lying. When we do this, when we falsely portray ourselves, and begin to believe our own delusion, this is called creating a “Reality Bubble,” and this type of disingenuous behavior is unethical, and not sustainable. 

Just as a soap bubble gets too big and pops, as lies amass more and more, a person’s Reality Bubble will implode, too. Whether it's trying to pass off fake yeezys, or a fake family life, the truth will always come to light. –and when it does, this can have devastating effects on a person’s mental and emotional health.

Hearing the phrase "that's not the same guy," or "she looks nothing like she does on Instagram," is most people's worst nightmare. --and this is a self-created nightmare. Think about it, if we continually lie to others by falsely representing ourselves online, how can we expect to be able to go out in public, or go on a date without feeling, and experiencing the increased anxiety and paranoia of being “found out?” We can’t. So we must ask, why are we ok with being fake? Why is online fakery being normalized, encouraged and accepted? --and is this kind of fakery contributing to the growing number of individuals who suffer with depression, and anxiety related disorders, too? 

On the physical end of the spectrum, creating Reality Bubbles, and the inability to escape our truth regularly leads people to use things like extreme makeup, body modification and cosmetic procedures in an attempt to keep up with the false image they’ve created for themselves online. This is also fakery, and this becomes addictive, and harder and more expensive to maintain. –but why do we feel the need to spend loads of time and money on excessive makeup, or surgical procedures? Self-care is one thing, but are we physically augmenting ourselves purely out of fear and self-doubt? Why do women think they need bigger lips, hips, boobs or different noses? Why are more and more men getting muscle implants? Why don’t we feel confident enough as we uniquely are? –and at every age and stage? Do we all actually need psych-evals before stepping foot inside of a cosmetic surgeon’s office, or downloading the latest photo editing app? Have we normalized self-mutilation, and “face tuning” ourselves as a response to feeling inadequate? Why? 

The need to create Reality Bubbles is the product of self-image issues, and insecurities that make us feel we aren’t good enough as we truly, and naturally are. Many times these insecurities can be caused by being exposed to the over-sexualized and materialistic Reality Bubbles of other people, including influencers, celebrities and untruthful marketing campaigns. The truth is, most of the photos and posts we see online are not 100% genuine. Person, place, company or thing, online posts, photos and marketing ads are usually either edited, embellished, posed or downright manufactured using AI. Even health and physical fitness personalities are known to edit their photos in favor of more chiseled muscles, or a more whittled waistline. The reality is, we can't automatically assume or believe that the things and people we see online are actually real anymore. Unfortunately, most of us already know this, but we somehow still fall prey to feeling the need to conform by creating Reality Bubbles of our own. Whether it's posting extremely edited swimsuit photos, or flaunting money, cars and relationships we don’t actually have, we begin to mimic the same looks, attitudes and behaviors that we observe in other people who we consider to be superior, or our competition. Why? Why are we being duped into living an unhealthy, and unsustainable false reality?  

Competition, jealousy, as well as body, relationship or lifestyle envy, and the need for adoration are usually the underlying emotions that can be traced back to why we feel it's necessary to create false versions of ourselves. It's nothing to be ashamed of, we've all been made to feel this way at some point or another. --but understand, you do not need to lie, or change who you are, and the way you look to gain the approval of others. You are enough exactly the way you are. Cookie-cutter definitions of beauty, or falling prey to media-encouraged body trends and materialism is just another way that Darkness tries to control, traumatize us, and make money off of our fears.  

When we can come to fully understand this, the way we look at ourselves, and others changes.  As we work to banish masks, and false identities from our lives, and begin to appreciate realness, that sinking-feeling of body or materialistic envy, and the Spirit of Competition ceases from being able to torment our minds.

As we move forward, we must pop these Reality Bubbles ourselves. This doesn’t mean outing everyone we see creating, or participating in these kinds of delusions, but we must learn to identify when people or companies are being disingenuous, while also taking responsibility for the content and persona that we ourselves are presenting to the world. Accept yourself, and learn to be thankful for who you are, and what you do have.  --and remember that personal authenticity is in alignment with being fully truthful and trustworthy. --and being trustworthy is in alignment with Goodness, and the Light of God. 

So please, stop following fakers, leave the filters off of your photos, and learn to be your organic self. You are enough. 

-Mallory 

Troll Outbreak: Another Pandemic, Online and in Our Personal Lives

I encountered a few trolls this week regarding an article I had written about possession, which I guess is appropriate in light of the subject matter. I wasn’t exactly expecting it because it was something I had written several weeks back, and when I saw the notifications it really did take me by surprise, and for a second it gave me that “uh oh” feeling in my chest, which of course is their aim. –but I shook it off, and it ultimately got me thinking about trolls in general. 

“Trolls” are people who either out of anger, hatred or sport post insulting, offensive, sarcastic or derogatory comments on the internet and social media in order to deliberately upset someone, cause trouble, harass or directly attack another individual, group or business in order to damage their reputation under the guise of voicing opinions and free speech. Sometimes referred to as “Haters,”  these people are keyboard bullies who many times are also looking for attention at the expense of others. A growing number of these types of individuals even create multiple fake accounts, turning trolling into their hobby, and this malicious mindset is becoming more and more prevalent and normalized in our society day-by-day.  

Personally, I do not care for the term “trolls.” I like to think most of these individuals are not necessarily bad people, but are simply bored, poor communicators who tend to let their negative-ego do the typing. It may sound silly, but the image that “trolls” invokes is extremely derogatory to me, even though it usually is very much inline with the energy these individuals are expressing. –but nonetheless, this is how they are referred to by society. 

It seems to me that there are two categories of trolls. Those that know exactly what they are doing (aware), and those who are simply reactionary people with poor impulse control (unaware).

My trolls were of course vicious and insulting while displaying an air of superiority, but they also tried twisting my words to suit their agenda in order to discredit the content of my message, and this tactic seems to be typical across the board. While it is not the first time I’ve encountered these types of personalities when working on controversial campaigns or projects, it was the first time that this kind of visceral online-hatred and demeaning sarcasm was directed specifically and solely towards me on a personal level. 

What was I going to do? How was I going to handle this? I was never under the delusion that everyone should agree with my point of view, but I had never actually thought about how I would deal with trolls before. Do I delete their comments? –or just ignore them? What should I do?

After a few moments of pondering my best course of action, I knew that in this instance I had to face them, and not cower, or ignore the messages. In my specific case, I decided to respectfully stand my ground, and be kind while doing so in order to set an example that although we may have differences of opinion, which is perfectly fine, we should never be disrespectful or mean, even when dealing with people who do not extend us the same courtesy or civility. 

So I did, and that was that. I went on about my day, and got my work done without letting it bug me. Later, I revisited the encounter, thinking about the characteristics of troll behavior, and began reflecting on how I may have been guilty of this in the past, too. You see, trolls don’t only exist online, they also exist in our personal lives. –and although I’ve never been a troll to strangers on social media, or attacked people just to get a laugh or dopamine hit, I have certainly had extremely negative reactions to others when I found myself in emotionally fearful situations or disagreements where I was triggered, and felt personally threatened or betrayed. From time to time, I was an unaware troll. 

Before my experience with Nutritional Exorcism, and learning that negative reactions stem from fear, if I perceived myself as being attacked or double-crossed by another person my automatic reaction would sometimes admittedly be verbally vicious or sarcastic as a means of self-defense. It was a terrible feeling when it happened, and it's not pleasant to think back on now, but the truth is there were many times that I did not know how to process or identify the feelings of fear and anger, and I would go on the attack in an attempt to make the person who I felt had wronged or challenged me back down, and never “come at me” ever again. I may have seemed cut-throat or ruthless to the other person involved, but in actuality I was simply scared, felt threatened or was heartbroken, and I didn’t know how to communicate what I was feeling in a rational or calm manner at that time.

The truth is most of us are not taught how to deal with fear and anger, let alone communicate it, and when we or our beliefs are threatened many of us automatically attack, just like I used to sometimes do. Living this way is not fun, and it can lead to years and years of unresolved guilt, self-shaming, resentment and anger for all parties involved after the interaction is over if left unresolved. –but the good news is that it is possible to learn how to properly deal with fear and anger by becoming more aware of our thoughts, and working to eliminate our reactionary tendencies which improves our overall ability to communicate.

Every thought we think, every word we say and every action we take can be boiled down to Love or Hate. –and Hate or Hatefulness is a product of fear. Whether it's fear of losing something or someone, or fear of being wrong, fear is pretty simple, but it has a lot of symptoms. These symptoms can be anger, jealousy, envy, greed, hostility, and so on. All negative emotions one way or another stem from fear.

Understandably, many of us are afraid to feel our fears because it clearly doesn’t feel good. –but we must learn to allow ourselves to feel these unpleasant feelings in order to neutralize them, and prevent them from turning us into a troll, and negatively affecting our lives and the lives of those around us. We can first begin to do this through self-reflection, and identifying past events where fearful behavior reared its ugly head. When we think about a past interaction or disagreement that got out of hand, we tend to relive the same feelings we felt in the moment, but the goal here is to look at these instances with fresh eyes, and neutrally observe them from all perspectives. As we process these past events, it is important to ask why this interaction triggered fear and sparked anger within us. Whether the answer is that you ultimately felt betrayed, used, abandoned, disregarded, or that your intellect or belief system was being questioned or challenged, when we can correctly pinpoint the negative emotion that was egging on our anger we can begin to heal these triggers, and apply forgiveness to ourselves and others in order to reconcile the situation, and the pain it may have caused. As we work through identifying why we were feeling fear during these specific encounters of the past, as fears or anger arises in the present moment, we can more easily recognize what is happening as it's happening, and we become better equipped to keep calm and properly communicate our feelings and perspective while remaining respectful to the other person or group involved. This is the difference between reacting and responding. 

By learning to respond instead of react impulsively, we can monitor and identify our fears and feelings in real time. This is inline with the phrase “think before you speak.” As we become able to do this, we can ask ourselves things like “--am I being mean?”  or “--am I being emotionally harmful or insulting?” in order to prevent ourselves from acting in the role of the troll.

As our self-awareness strengthens, and we become unafraid of feeling our fears, we cease in allowing reactionary thoughts and actions to sour our daily dealings and relationships, and we in turn become more effective communicators who are able to cope with disagreements and disappointments without letting anger overtake us. This leads to increased peacefulness for ourselves, and those around us even when we do not see eye to eye.

It's also important to not let people tempt or trick you into being triggered. Staying calm is key. Trolls and bullies are everywhere, they are a huge part of The Gotcha Game, online and in real life, but they only have power when we let them knock us off kilter, and allow them to get under our skin. We can regain our power, and eliminate fear of these personalities by understanding and recognizing exactly what they are, and what they aim to do. 

Whether heckling or harassing someone in person, making comments online or through mail and email, sometimes, these people can actually be hired guns. Trolls are used by businesses, social movements, political organizations and even governments against individuals and organizations who are doing good work.  Trolls are utilized to harass, scare or demoralize productive people from their personal missions by overwhelming and bombarding them with negativity and hatred in order to distract them, and deplete their energy. 

Hired or not, all trolls thrive on getting a rise out of their target, and in many situations are looking to bait a person into saying something that can then be used against them. Aware or unaware, coaxing out your negative-ego is the troll's ultimate goal. So, the only way to overcome this is to not take the bait. Although sometimes easier said than done, remaining as neutral as possible, and staying out of an angry or fearful mindset is crucial. Whatever you do, nothing can be gained by stooping to their level. Do not feed the Troll. 

Depending on the specific situation, whether you decide to respond, ignore or block trolls completely, it helps to try as best as possible to not take their actions and comments personally, and we should find a way to be forgiving of their transgressions. 

Whether dealing with online trolls or people in your personal life, we should not willingly allow or accept abuse, or harmful energies and actions that are directed towards us from individuals that are sociopathic, and do not feel remorse or honor respectful boundaries. –but it is possible to forgive a person who exhibits these types of Dark behaviors, and to be completely neutral towards them while also knowing that for your own health and wellness you may need to set proper boundaries, or distance yourself from them completely (block them).

In all situations, extending forgiveness to others is the process by which a victim undergoes a change in feeling, and attitude regarding an offense, and voluntarily lets go of negative emotions, such as harboring vengefulness or ill-will in favor of neutrality, and instead chooses to wish the offender well. To forgive others or circumstances is the most generous thing we can do for ourselves. When we forgive others for transgressions it frees us from negative emotional entanglements that encourage judgment, resentment, bitterness, anger, and hatred to harbor inside of our hearts and minds. 

We should also remember to grant ourselves forgiveness for any past or present actions we have committed that were fueled by fear or anger, like trolling. Forgiving ourselves is a necessary part of emotional healing that alleviates guilt, shame and self judgment. Bestowing grace onto ourselves allows peacefulness in to soothe our soul, and inspires emotional growth as we forge ahead toward better temperament and emotional wellness.

We can not sit back, and allow troll behavior to be further normalized. If we instead lead by example by making a dedicated effort through our own actions to show more respect and kindness to each other, and stop using hateful words and sarcasm as weapons in moments where we are triggered or do not agree, we can help make our world a more pleasant place. –but until the trolls cease to exist, remember, you’re calm is your superpower.

-Mallory

References:

Life and "Gotcha Game Theory"
https://mallorykennedy.com/blogs/nutritional-exorcism/life-and-gotcha-game-theory

Forgiveness
https://ascensionglossary.com/index.php/Forgiveness