Jennifer Wake's Blog, page 4

My Own Garden

Photo by Guillaume LORAIN on Unsplash

 

Gardens have always been a special place of solace for me. When I was young, my family lived outside London for almost three years; we weren’t military but moved every few years. Our house backed up to a garden area with a 600-year-old tree. I loved to wander around the paths the gardener had cut through it. I dreamed of having my own garden. He was a kind old gentleman who came to tend the garden for the owners.

 

Most days after school, I would play outside. Since tree climbing was forbidden, I visited the garden. The gardener loved to vary the plants by season. He rarely talked to me but allowed me to watch as he pruned, watered, and “fed” the plants. He was very gentle with every plant, often talking to and encouraging them to grow as he watered. My mother called him “the master of the garden.”

 

Moving every couple of years as a military spouse, the idea of having my own garden always overwhelmed me. After all, the climate in Germany was vastly different from the one in Fort Irwin. And don’t even get me started on Alaska. But, no matter where we lived, my hands constantly itched to dig in fertile soil. After all, plants reduce stress, boost memory, purify the air, and increase productivity. They can even be a source of food and are just pretty to look at.

 

Fast forward a few years, and I finally have a garden to plant and tend. Do I plant annuals, perennials, or bulbs? What grows in this climate? What fertilizer do I use to “feed” my new plants? What about water and sun? I have so many questions and little knowledge about growing plants in Virginia. The difference is that now I know where to turn for help.

 

I recently discovered that one of my friends is a “Master Gardener.”  That means she completed over 100 hours of training and volunteer work to become an expert in local gardening. Her focus is bushes and trees, while others specialize in planters or vegetables.

 

I peppered her with questions about what plants would do well in my garden. Before answering, she wanted to know my plan for watering my plants. She knew how critical daily watering during summer heat would be for a full-sun garden plot.

 

Not only did she help me select two pallets of plants ideally suited to my space, but she coached me through plating, feeding, mulching, and watering my new garden. However, the most important thing I learned was not to waste time being overwhelmed and to know where to seek expert help. I only wish I hadn’t waited so long.

 

Wouldn’t it be lovely to start your own garden to tend? If you’re like me and need help getting started, The American Horticultural Society has a tool to help you locate and connect with a Master Gardener in your region. How does your garden grow?

Game Night

Photo by Dave Photoz on Unsplash

 

“It’s time for Game Night!” my daughter yelled. 

 

My son groaned as we all came to the table. At least once a month, we played games as a family. My son preferred movie nights or video game nights.

 

It was my turn to choose a game. Each Game Night, a different person chose the game we would all play. My kids each had their favorite game but rarely knew what I would choose. Yahtzee was my choice this time.

 

As I pulled out the Yahtzee kit, one child went to find pencils, another brought in the freshly made popcorn, and my husband carried the drinks. My son whined about having to do the math as he grabbed for the dice to be first to roll. We started by rolling the dice to see who would go first. My son rolled a six, so he went first, which is his favorite thing.

 

My kids would try to help the person rolling the dice by giving them ideas on where to put the roll. When they were little, my husband and I would tell them the best choice. As they grew, we did not share our ideas as much. They would discuss it and then decide which dice to roll a second time.

 

Yahtzee is a game that uses math, strategy, and rolling dice. My kids did not like the math part at all, but they loved it when they got five of a kind because they could scream, “YAHTZEE!” I enjoyed helping them learn strategy and practice math. Sometimes, we would get several Yahtzees, and other times, none. Teaching them strategy helped them beat me, but it was worth losing.

 

Our monthly game night did not require new games each time. We had several games I bought when I was single, like Yahtzee and Backgammon. My husband loved teaching card games like Hearts, Euchre, and Spades. He enjoyed playing the games he learned in college. I love strategy games. The kids often chose Uno or Life. 

 

Game nights did not involve much cost except for snacks. We would pop popcorn, or in the fall, we might have mulled cider. If a child chose the game, the other two got to select and make the snacks. We created snacks from what was in the cupboard. Sometimes, we had chips or popcorn. Sometimes, we had something baked, like cookies or cupcakes.

 

As my children grew, we bought games like “Ticket to Ride” and Risk. During a blizzard in Maryland, Risk held our attention for a week. We often challenge each other with Trivial Pursuit. We challenged each other’s knowledge, from Disney to sports to Star Trek. My kids know most of the answers to the Disney version. My husband loves looking at the cards for Sports, and I admitted defeat at Star Trek since I did not keep up with all the spinoffs. 

 

What are your family’s favorite games, and why? How often do you get together to have a game night?

Serve from your heart!

Photo by Brooke Lark on Unsplash

“Let’s go. We have to be there by 9 to start the prep for lunch,” I bellowed at my family.

 

I was on a mission to help others while I yelled at my family. I wanted to teach my kids about giving back to the community. My heart was in the right place, but I went about it all wrong. I had picked the location and what we were going to do.

 

As you can probably guess, that first try at community service was a total flop. We served, but everyone was upset, and our hearts were not in it. After we got home, my husband asked some crucial questions:

 

“What does serving mean to you?”

 

“Who would you like to serve and how?”

 

“Why do we serve? Is it to feel good? Help others?”

 

Our teenagers spent a few days figuring out their answers to those questions. The hardest one was who to serve. My husband and I decided we could serve in a couple of places rather than one. We wanted our kids to serve from their hearts, not our commands. “Serve from your heart” became our motto.

 

First up was a computer restoration nonprofit. The nonprofit took donated laptops and refurbished them. My son and my husband spent one Saturday a month learning how to run diagnostics and replace parts. Once the computers had all their memory swiped and any issues repaired, the nonprofit sent them to African schools to help students learn.

 

My eldest wanted to take care of animals. She worked in a barn helping care for horses in the Texas heat and learned about caring for their hoofs, feeding, brushing, and tacking them for lessons. She was one of the walkers who led the horses around as wounded servicemembers rode them. This type of therapy helps people with PTSD and other wounds. She loved helping the horses help the servicemembers. She served from her heart to help animals and people.

 

My middle daughter volunteered with a food kitchen. She chose to start in the spring when they were short-staffed. People often volunteer in November and December, but as we found out, most food kitchens need more volunteers in February and March. She discovered her love of baking by making rolls for the food kitchen. My heart swelled as I watched her learn and blossom into a baker. My new baker served from her heart.

 

As my husband and I learned, serving and giving back to your community differs for each person. The key is to give back and to do it with an open heart. Yelling and forcing people to serve does not work. They have to discover the value of serving and helping others.

 

My kids still smile at me as I head out the door to do taxes at the Volunteer Income Tax Assistance (VITA) center. I love helping people with their taxes. My giving back differs significantly from anyone else in my family, but that’s the point. It makes me feel good, and I love doing it.

 

What makes you feel good? How can you use that to serve from your heart and give back to your community?

Making Memories without Breaking the Bank.

 

“Mom! Please, can I have this?”

“Dad! Can I have this now?”

 

These two questions are some of the few questions I hate. When my kids were little, they would ask sweetly at first and then louder and louder if the answer was “no,” which it was most of the time.

 

I have been the money person in our family since we got married. I am even an Accredited Financial Counselor. My kids love starting sentences with, “My financial advisor said…” and I love knowing they mean me. But that also means they learned early about how to make memories without breaking the bank. Making memories can make or break your budget. Making memories without breaking the bank takes practice.

 

When our kids were young, my husband and I decided to do activities with the kids that stayed within our budget. Our planning usually included a small amount of money to allow the kids to buy souvenirs. For my son, it usually was a toy car or a rock. My girls would look for toys or food. We tried to steer them away from purchasing food when they were little, but as they grew, we allowed them to make their own decisions with the amount we had budgeted. They often regretted the short-term gratification they initially enjoyed with food when they watched their brother play or admire his treasure later that evening. 

 

While in Germany, we walked Volksmarches. When we returned to the States, we continued to look for similar free activities. Most state capitals have created volksmarch routes that allow people to see the capital and learn some history. We also looked for state and national parks where we could wander. Part of my plan was to stock up on snacks and sandwiches and fill water bottles to reduce food costs. My husband carried a backpack full of supplies while he pushed a stroller. I was in charge of whoever was not in the stroller. I often thought he had the easier job.

 

Whenever we PCS’d, we would look for interesting places near our new home. Once the kids entered elementary school, they would each select a place they wanted to visit. We worked hard to make it to those locations. But sometimes, the budget simply wouldn’t allow for one of their dream outings.

 

In Kansas City, my son wanted to go to the racetrack outside of Kansas City. A NASCAR race was outside our budget, but a BBQ competition at the stadium was within our reach. We ate BBQ and saw many classic cars and some NASCAR pace cars. My son declared this was better than a race because it was quieter, and he got to eat a lot of food.

 

While stationed in California, we saved money to purchase a year pass to Disneyland. We could not afford the one that allowed us 365 days of access, so we bought the one that included every day except Saturdays. We would visit the park on Fridays or long weekends, explore Los Angeles on Saturdays, and return to the parks on Sundays.

 

With some planning and creativity, we have made priceless memories without breaking the bank. What are some ways you create memories without breaking the bank?

 

Invest at Your Own Risk

As I cried on my father’s shoulder, he gently explained that investments came with the possibility of great reward or devastating loss. My investment journey started pretty rocky. I trusted a friend’s advice who knew less than me. I lost every penny. I had invested in a stock that went down to nothing. No one insured my investment, so I lost everything I had planned to use to buy a car. 

I had to start saving all over again. Instead of using risky investments, I put all my “car” money into a savings account. Once I had saved enough for my car, I continued “saving” money but cautiously entered the investment arena again. Instead of listening to friends for their top stock picks, I did my own research.

I hope what I learned will help you decide which type of investment is right for you. 

An investment account is riskier and not usually insured. Investment accounts typically require a minimum of $50. Investment or brokerage accounts are better for medium- to long-term goals since it takes time to access the money. In most years, investment accounts have a higher rate of return than savings accounts.

I opened a brokerage account where I could choose what stock I wanted to buy. I selected stocks for brands I used, like AT&T, Apple, and Xerox. I could only afford to buy one or two stocks at a time, but they grow and split. Reinvesting the dividends (a reward, cash or otherwise, that a company gives its shareholders) helped them grow. 

Next, I learned about mutual funds, which opened up a new way of investing. A mutual fund is a group of stocks. A manager buys and sells stocks within the mutual fund. As an investor, I buy a share of the fund, which means I own a part of all the stocks in the fund. There are four main categories: money market funds, bond funds, stock funds,s and target date funds.

Money market funds include investments issued by governments and short-term investments from corporations. They are low-risk but grow slower than stock funds. Bond funds incorporate bonds from various sources to have higher risk and return than money market funds.

A common type of stock mutual fund is an S&P 500 or a growth mutual fund. The stocks within the fund coincide with the fund’s name and goal.

 

Fund managers design target-date funds to invest based on a date. A 2050 fund primarily consists of stocks early, with higher risk and returns. As the fund approaches 2050, the managers invest more in bonds to lower the risk. This type of fund is great for long-term goals like retirement. 

 

You can include mutual funds in IRAs, Roth IRAs, and Educational funds. Anyone can open a mutual fund with a minimum balance. 

 

I learned the hard way: don’t ask friends what stock to buy. Do your own research. A mutual fund is a great place to dip your toe into the wonderful–and often unpredictable–world of investing.

Make Your Money Work For You.

When my children entered high school, I told them the story of my two friends, “Mimi” and “Jdubs.” My husband and I worked with each child to save early–the earlier, the better. We opened savings accounts when they were young. When they entered the workforce, we encouraged them to save and invest. Saving is putting your money in a bank, which pays you interest for using it. Investing is buying something that may increase in value, like stocks or property. 

Mimi and Jdubs were single friends I met in high school. Their stories highlight the best way to make your money work for you.

Jdubs started saving when she was 19. She saved $2,000 a year, or about $167/month. She deposited this every month until she was 26 when she returned to school. 

My other friend Mimi started saving when she was 26. She saved the same amount each month as Jdubs but continued until she was 65. They both put their savings into investment accounts.

Jdubs saved $16,000, while Mimi saved $78,000. Let’s assume they both received 12% interest on their accounts and did not withdraw any. I understand that a constant 12% interest may be unrealistic, but for this example, bear with me. Who will have more money in their account when they turn 65? 

Jdubs and Mimi’s Investments Over Time

Most people would guess Mimi will have more in her account because she added $62,000 more than Jdubs. They would be wrong. Jdubs would have over $2,200,000 in her account, while Mimi would have $1,500,000. Jdubs made her money work for her longer than Mimi; this is compound interest’s power. Compound interest is when you earn interest on your saved money and accumulated interest. 

Compound interest is your money working for you rather than you working for money.

I love the idea of paying myself first, but I want to think about something other than savings, so I set up an automatic payment from my paycheck. It is not as much as my friends in the example, but every dollar counts. When or if I get a raise, I increase the amount I save. I encourage everyone to set their savings and investments on automatic. Make your money work for you rather than always working for money.

One of my military spouse friends, MB, had a unique way of saving. Depending on their duty station, she might find a job. They decided to save and invest her whole paycheck if she found a job. It did not impact their lifestyle if she could not get a job. Their savings grew because of their diligence to save whenever they could.

No matter when you start or how much you save, the most important thing is to begin. 

Putting savings into investment accounts allowed them to grow faster. Investment accounts have more risks than savings accounts. Investment accounts are accounts that buy stocks. There are many types of investment accounts, which I will discuss in another blog.

As Jdubs and Mimi showed, saving is about starting early and growing your money. Remember, compound interest is your money working for you rather than you working for money. Start now and help yourself in the future. 

Our Strong Fortress

Based on Psalm 18:10

 

The Lord is a strong fortress.

You hear my cries, my sobs in the dark.

When I am overwhelmed, You comfort me.

Oh Lord, draw me near to You.

 

When I am alone in my grief, You comfort me.

The huge holes in my heart threaten to engulf me.

The memories that spring to mind daily won’t let me move forward.

Oh Lord, You are my rock on which I start each day.

 

Days when I feel like everyone is against me, You are with me.

When I think no one sees me, You know where I am.

As my cries go unheard, You gently remind me I am loved.

You are my firm foundation.

 

I shout Your name whenever I feel the darkness surrounding me.

Your name is a bright light in my grief.

I know I will see some of my loved ones again.

I grieve for the ones whose eternity is uncertain.

 

You remind me of Your love, mercy, and grace.

I cling to the rock of Your everlasting faithfulness.

I search for You in the good times and the hard times.

You are always there.

 

The Lord is a strong fortress.

You hear my cries of joy and sorrow.

Everyday, You comfort me.

Oh Lord, draw me near to You.

 

The Everlasting God-El Olam

Based on Isaiah 40:28-31

 

You, oh Lord, are El Olam.

You are our everlasting God

You never change; no beginning or end.

On good days or bad days, You are still the same.

 

Our eternally existent One is with us.

You guide us. You always keep sight of us.

When we sleep, You hold us in the palm of Your hand.

When we rise, You are with us.

 

You were never created. You created everything.

Your love continues through all generations.

When we feel alone, Your love surrounds us.

When the darkness of grief washes over us, You are our Refuge.

 

Oh Lord, we cry out to You day and night.

We thank You for hearing us, loving us, and strengthening us.

When we feel like we are about to collapse, You are there.

El Olam, the everlasting God, You never fail us.

 

El Olam, the eternally existent One, who sees everything

Thank You for being with us in the joy of mornings.

Remind us to rest on You when we are tired of trials.

You guide us through all stages of life.

 

You are omnipotent, omniscient, and omnipresent El Olam.

Nothing surprises You.

You never grow faint or weary.

You are our everlasting God.

 

You, oh Lord, are El Olam.

You are our everlasting God.

You never change; no beginning or end.

On good days or bad days, You are still the same.

 

Lord of Lords and King of Kings.

Lord of Lords and King of Kings, we praise You!

Hallelujah to the Lord Almighty!

Thanks to Jehovah Raah, The Lord our Shepherd!

Praise to Abba, our Father!

Shout with joy to the Lord Almighty!

Joy from time with family and friends.

Shout with joy for the love of God!

Praise the Lord Almighty!

Praise Abba, our Father.

Thank You for Your peace that passes all understanding.

Peace carries us through trials.

Peace in the middle of the storms of life.

Shout to the ends of the world about the love of the Lord.

Praise Your Holy Name!

As we trust You for everything, remind us to praise You daily.

Let us share Your love, mercy, and grace with everyone.

Let us praise the name of the Lord!

Shout for joy to all the people of the world!

May we delight in Your mighty name.

Let us sing to the Lord!

Amen.

Hope, Faith, Joy, and Peace Welcome Christ’s Second Coming

Christmas Eve is very dark in our house. We use only the lights on our trees and our advent wreath to illuminate our living room. We often watch a classic movie or the snowfall through the windows. It reminds us that when Christ died, there was darkness. At church, I love to sing Silent Night in the blackness and then light our candles off the person next to us to grow the light throughout the church. That reminds me of the Gospel spreading around the world.

Christmas Day is full of hope, faith, joy, and sometimes peace at my house. We start the day with presents, but with older adults, I usually get a couple of cups of coffee and a walk with my dog before I get to see any of them. The Christmas trees twinkle in the morning, but the sun soon overshadows their lights.

Some years, our kids are all home. Other years, they are far away, and we get a call or possibly a Zoom call. It doesn’t matter where they are; I want to see them. I would love to hug them and spend all day with them, but time marches on, and their lives go in different directions than mine.

The Advent wreath reminds me of God’s faithfulness throughout every season of life. Lighting the Christ candle adds more light to our home. Five steady and bright candles remind us of God’s light.

When my kids are far from home, I pray that our home is a beacon they want to return to. Just as a lighthouse shines to guide ships to a haven, I pray my house will be a light to show God’s love to the world.

Christmas is full of hope, faith, joy, and peace.

God gives us hope, faith, joy, and peace daily, not just during Advent. The prophets had hope, faith, joy, and peace from following God. The Magi traveled by faith to find the source of light they saw in the sky. They learned about God and received hope, faith, joy, and peace. The shepherds worked long hours and were not well respected, but the angels shared the good news of great joy with them first. These same messengers brought peace to Mary and Joseph during the birth of Jesus.

The Christ Candle reminds us of Christ’s birth, but it also reminds us of His Second Coming. Christ is the Light of the world. God promised that Christ would come again in glory. He will institute a new Heaven, where God will dwell with His people, and they will be without sin.

As we light the five candles of Advent, let us remember the hope, faith, joy, and peace that come from God as we look to the Second Coming of Christ Jesus.

Scriptures to meditate on while we grow in our faith:

Matthew 5:14-16

Luke 1:68-69

John 8:12

1 John 4:9-10

1 Thessalonians 4:16-17

Revelation 1:7-8

Revelation 20:11-15

Hymns to sing with your family:

O Come O Come Emmanuel

O Come All Ye Faithful

Joy To the World

Hark the Herald Angels

Silent Night, Holy Night