Craig Cross's Blog, page 14

London blog: Little Venice

It always feels like a slothful Sunday morning in Little Venice: sunny, slow and easy. I can see one guy shuffling along the towpath with his paper and a giant mug of tea -- he's still got his pyjamas on. I'm being serious! He's just popped his head out the door to listen to the songbirds. That is Little Venice for you. Little Venice consists of three different sections separated by two blue bridges. The prettiest stretch is definitely up the far end of Blomfield Road and Maida Avenue (which...

London blog: National Portrait Gallery

The National Portrait Gallery is probably my favourite gallery in London because it appeals to history lovers as well as art lovers. It's all about the sitters, not the painters. Admire the people, not the paintings. But that's not to say that the paintings aren't good, because they are -- they still have pieces by Hockney and Holbein, etc. -- but if they need a picture of a British hero and all they can find is an incomplete prep, then that's what they'll put up. It's like walking through a...

London blog: Nelson's Column

I read in a book that Hitler planned to uproot Nelson's Column and transport it back to Berlin after he beat us in World War II. That's what we should have done -- we should have nicked the Brandenburg Gate and put it across the top of Whitehall. We missed our chance there, ah well. Too late now. We'll know better for next time. The tourists have got their selfie-sticks are out in force today. I can count about twenty people brandishing their flagless flags, waiting the right time to pull...

London blog: Tate Modern

I promised myself that I would come to the Tate Modern with an open mind, but I know I'm going to laugh at the modern art. It's so bad, it's good. So you might want to take this review with a pinch of salt if you're an art lover. I do actually quite like art, believe it or not, but this isn't art to me. It's more like a song by someone who can't sing. It's a load of pictures by people who can't paint. When students have no artistic talent their teacher tells them to snap a black and white...

London blog: Globe Theatre Tour

I consider myself to be reasonably well educated. I'm not quite on the Albert Einstein level, but put it this way: I went to school. I'm not thick. I can do all the usual stuff: I can tie my shoelaces, I can count to ten, I can recite the alphabet backwards, I can say "please can I have a ham sandwich" in French... and that's pretty much all you need to know in life. So here's my take on Shakespeare: I don't mind reading about him, and his Tudor times, but his plays are too much...

London blog: The Cenotaph

The Cenotaph is the one thing in London that you're not allowed to denigrate -- but what the hell, I'm going to do it anyway. If I go to hell, then I go to hell. I'm probably going there anyway so it doesn't matter. My big criticism of the Cenotaph is its location: they've marooned it on top of a tarmac island between two busy lanes of traffic. Hardly anybody goes over there to pay their respects because they don't want to get flattened by a thundering truck. The only time that people ponder...

London blog: Horse Guards Parade

When people talk about Horse Guards they usually think of the gravel parade ground where the military bands do Beating Retreat, but the best part is actually the small courtyard that faces onto Whitehall. That's where you'll find all the horses and foot soldiers. Everyone loves a horse. Especially when it's got a soldier on top. If you put a soldier with a shiny sword on top of a horse then you can keep the tourists happy all day. When the horses are out between 10 AM and 4 PM this place is...

London blog: House of Commons -- Public Gallery

Apparently the best things in life are free. That's what they say, anyway (the people with money). But in this case it happens to be true: because you can come to the Houses of Parliament and sit in the House of Commons for nothing. You don't even need a ticket or any ID. And yes, I know that sounds totally ridiculous, but trust me when I say it's true. You might have to wait an hour to get inside, but once you've bagged yourself a seat you can basically stay for as long as you like. ...

London blog: Leadenhall Market

This place reminds me of Christmas. Sometimes I come in here just for a look, just to have a stroll through somewhere in the early evening. The best time to see it is definitely when the sun has given up and gone home a few hours early; when you've been walking through the wet forever; when the clouds are sitting five feet off the floor, and when everyone is barging past you to run for the bus. Trust me... that's the best time to have a wander through Leadenhall Market. When you're cold and...

London blog: Borough Market

Why not give McDonalds a miss today, and come to Borough Market instead? This is no ordinary street market. This is a foodie market, for gourmet foodies... for people who like to pimp their food in nuts and sauces and make it look like a work of art. It's an art gallery of food (with art gallery prices). The burgers are huge! I'm guessing they've just cut the legs off a cow and stuffed it inside a bun. It sure does look delicious. I'm standing here drooling at its bubbling balloon, as its...