Craig Cross's Blog, page 13

London blog: Jewel Tower

This is the kind of historic old building that usually appeals to me, and I really want to give it a good review (I really do!), but there are so few objects inside that it's impossible. I must be the only person in the world who's been here three times, because nobody else would even dream of coming twice. The Jewel Tower is one of only four survivors from the original Palace of Westminster -- the other three being Westminster Hall (which you can go inside on a tour of Parliament), a...

London blog: St. James's Park

The big lake in St. James's Park is famous for its ducks and geese, herons, pelicans and swans... and pigeons, of course. Wherever there is bread, you can bet your life there will be pigeons. And there's definitely a lot of bread on this lake because old ladies are forever throwing it in the water. I'm sitting here watching a flock of birds scrapping and flapping around the feet of an old lady -- she must be about eighty years old at least. The birds are going nuts like they haven't been fed...

London blog: Pudding Lane

It's not often that lowly nobodies like me get the opportunity to change history, but if I was strolling down the river 350 years ago I could have smelt the burning buns, nipped into the bakers and said, "oy, mate... your cakes are on fire!", and saved London from destruction. Because Thomas Faryner burnt more than a cake that day -- he burnt the entire town down to the ground. The most amazing (and amusing) thing to me is not that he did it, but that he somehow managed to get away...

London blog: St. Katherine Docks

I love St. Katherine Docks, but if you ask Londoners about it then most of them won't have a clue. Tower Bridge is the borderlands for most folk -- that's where the Romans built their wall, so that's where they halt their walking. But two minutes beyond that is a string of marinas tucked in behind The Tower Guoman Hotel. It's nestled in behind the buildings, so unless you know it's there you're highly unlikely to find it. It's not the kind of place that I'd make a detour for, but if you...

London blog: Green Park

Green Park is the great un-loved park of London. No one has ever said: "I know -- let's take the kids to Green Park for the day". No one ever goes there on a sightseeing tour. No one takes photographs of it and nobody wants to scatter their ashes in it. They couldn't even be bothered to give it a proper name: Green Park. That's like calling an orange and orange just because it's orange. But it certainly is apt: it is definitely green. There is nothing here but green leaves and the...

London blog: Burlington Arcade

Burlington Arcade is famous for its Beadles: they look like doormen dressed up in top hats and tails and are supposed to enforce a load of dopey rules like No whistling! No singing! and No holding an open umbrella! But if truth be told they are just a couple of old geezers who stand there staring at the traffic. When I was in there today, for example, a couple of kids tried to whistle a few tunes for a laugh (which is totally against the Burlington commandments), and what did they do?...

London blog: ArcelorMittal Orbit

The only parts of Stratford I've seen are the train station, shopping centre and old Olympic Park. That is more than enough for me -- there is only so much concrete and glass that you need to see in one day. It's a bit like Canary Wharf without the skyscrapers. Or the people. Or the water, or the boats. When you exit the station you get sucked into the giant Westfield Shopping Centre. It's like a shiny ghost town that spreads out everywhere, full of empty tables in empty cafes, big shops...

London blog: Princess Diana Memorial Fountain

Some people believe she was stuck in a loveless marriage, shunned by the Royal Family and hounded by a relentless press... while other people think she was a bit of a fruitcake. I couldn't possibly comment (well, okay... I thought she was a fruitcake as well). But there is one thing that I am definitely sure about: she didn't deserve to be lumbered with a memorial as poor as this. But that's what happens when you annoy the Queen: you end up with a concrete river as your tombstone. Most...

London blog: Leicester Square

Everybody who comes to London ends up here at some point -- they'll have a wander around the West End to see the bright lights of Piccadilly Circus and get sucked into Leicester Square along with a million billion other people. It's where you'll find all the big cinemas and nightclubs. It's where the nightlife is. The pubs have punters spilling out onto the streets, and shops sell cheapo theatre tickets to West End shows. There must be a thousand people milling around me this afternoon, all...

London blog: Hyde Park

I don't get on very well with the sun. Put it this way: we're not friends. If I'm going to be walking around a park for two hours then I usually like to do it in the rain -- but it's sunny today. It's hot enough to boil the tears off my cheeks. So if I wilt halfway round then you'll understand why, because Hyde Park is a lot bigger than it looks on a map. I'm starting off at Speaker's Corner, opposite Marble Arch -- famous for its free speech and hecklers. Wannabe politicians and the world's...