Steven Barnes's Blog, page 50
July 25, 2017
The Power of Compassion
“To a surrounded enemy, you must leave a way of escape.”
–Sun Tsu
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There is a story about a great conqueror who arrived with his troops in a foreign land. He ordered his officers to set fire to the ships, and as his troops watched the smoke rise to the sky, the conqueror said: “that was your way home. It is gone. There is no retreat. We win, or we die.
They won.
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The “Parts Party” technique from Ericksonian hypnosis suggests that we have multiple aspects to our “selves” and that...
July 24, 2017
What’s Your Story?
A critical point to remember is that the stories we tell influence the way we interpret events. Think of any court case. Both defense and prosecution have the same set of facts. But they spin DIFFERENT STORIES about them, and each hopes that the jury will buy THEIR version of the story.
THE PERSON WHO CONTROLS THE STORY CONTROLS YOUR EMOTIONS. Every election cycle: same set of facts, two different candidates spinning two different stories about what it means.
Two different products: s...
July 23, 2017
The Micro in the Macro. And Vice Versa
The damage that takes place in childhood stays with us FOR LIFE unless we can heal it. Insistence that we should “just get over it,” let alone the insistence of the abuser and enablers that it didn’t happen at all are phenomenally destructive to children, and the adults they become. Let alone if that child then later gets into an abusive relationship with someone who “gaslights” them, swearing that there is nothing going on. Forcing you to doubt your own perceptions and memories. “Don’t...
July 21, 2017
From Octavia to T’Challa–tomorrow
I remember the single most memorable reaction heard from female friends who watched “Wonder Woman”. It was a reaction to the “No Man’s Land” sequence. And the comment I heard about ten separate times was: “I sat there with tears streaming down my face. I had never seen anything like that, and I didn’t even realize how badly I needed to see it.”
I heard a LOT of argument about that. People (usually men) pointing out different previous female superheroes, say...
July 20, 2017
Loving Yourself pt 3: Recap
So let’s stop for a moment and look at what we’ve done. The concept is simple:
Everything you’ve ever done has been an attempt to move away from pain toward pleasure. Ultimately, everything you’ve ever done, that ANYONE has ever done, has been an attempt to re-create the sense of connection and joy experienced in infancy, or even prior to birth. Call it connection to the life-force, or to love, or to God. Doesn’t matter. That the damage you sustain going through life can cut you off from...July 19, 2017
Loving pt 2: The Ancient Child
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I still remember the first time I formally applied the “Ancient Child” technique to a client. Was working at the high-end clinic out in Santa Monica, and a wealthy, famous client came in. You’d know his name. This person was a movie star, and a sex addict who had destroyed relation...
July 18, 2017
Loving Yourself part 2: Heartbeat Meditation
We have identified love as the primary tool of transformation and healing for yourself and the world. John Steinbeck’s “Once There Was A War” is a collection of his essays from WW2. Brilliant stuff, of course. But there is only one scene that totally stayed with me. It took place on a naval vessel, during mess. A huge rush of hungry human beings, and the food service staff that shoveled calories and protein into their empty maws.
An endless tide of appetite. And Steinbeck refe...
July 17, 2017
Boiling it down
The Wisdom of Meatloaf
Storytelling is the cross-referenced answer to “what is life?” by all the world’s elders, trying to convey their life wisdom to the children of the tribe. The “Hero’s Journey” is an extraction of a core sense of how this all works, in the simplest form I know.
But it begs the question “what is the hero”? A hero is a human being overcoming obstacles to achieve a worthy goal. The bigger the obstacle, the more noble the intent, the more we admire that hero.
In general, the more universal...
July 16, 2017
The Tao of Popeye
[image error]Recently, I posted some thoughts about an on-line conflict with a person who accused me of racism, but then when confronted by the actual definition was actually terrified by my belief in equality. I had to chuckle as some of the conversation. My friend Carolyne Pickup asked:
“What gives you pleasure about toppling the unstable Steven?”
I take Chevy’s questions about these things seriously, and see her as a constant reminder to cleave to the path of spirit. She is an ally. ...
