Jyvur Entropy's Blog, page 19
May 6, 2021
Indie Book Review – Combustion by Jyvur Entropy
This review! My heart!
The flame birthed itself at the end of the match. It danced, red and orange, against the backdrop of the still night. Rachel opened her mouth as wide as she could, until the corners of her lips were stretched as far as they would go. She made sure that her mouth was a wide, round circle. Just like the man on fire. Probably just like Mary Reeser had done. She was going to spontaneously combust. She would do it now.
And she could stop waiting for it to happen. She was never going to have to be afraid of it happening again. It was all about to be over. Rachel watched the flame slide down lower, burning away at the wood of the match. It was going to reach her hand soon, so she had to do this fast. Spontaneous Human Combustion started inside the body.
Rachel understood why the…
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May 4, 2021
WWW Weds: When I’m Not Planning Online Courses, I’m Reading Non-Fiction and Romance
WWW Weds is a Weekly meme hosted by Sam at Taking on a World of Words.
I’m putting my WWW post up early this week. Because I have my Weds booked solid putting the final touches on a class I’m teaching in a Kindle Vella discord. Eep! I’m so damn excited!
I really do love teaching. I miss it a lot. But, because of all the mental health issues and how symptomatic I’ve been the past few years, obviously I couldn’t keep teaching K12. I quit in August. My supervisor tried to talk me into staying and I didn’t know how to tell her ‘I’m having some kind of mental health relapse-I feel something big coming on.’ So I just made up a bunch of nonsense.
I know quitting K12 education was the right thing to do. I never should have gone into that field to begin with. I let other people in my life talk me into it. But I am diagnosed with everything from bipolar to schizoaffective disorder. I don’t know what the fuck I actually have, since doctors diagnose mental health disorders with about as much care as a drunk millennial doing a buzzfeed quiz, but I know i don’t always function the way I should, perceive things the way I should, or process my emotions the way I should.
So…here I am. I quit my teaching job. I went back to retail. I have a Master’s degree in English Lit and still no prospects for breaking into an adjunct role at the college level. Where if I have an off moment or say something weird, the students are old enough to deal with that and won’t be emotionally harmed by it.
Leaving teaching because I felt a depressive episode coming on….well, it was a double-edged sword, because I know it was the right decision, but it made my depression a lot worse. And then because I get delusions, my idiotic brain decides the reason I’m so sad is not because I have no direction or purpose in life, it’s because of insert-stupid-shit-having-to-do-with-delusion.
During a rough period I was having back in January, I started playing around with creating youtube videos teaching people about plot structure and character arcs. I used to have a lot of fun teaching kids this stuff, using books that are always popular with young teens, like ‘Holes.’ I won’t say doing that on youtube for an audience of adults gave me the same exact feeling, but it was nice.
And a couple of my author friends pointed out that I seemed a lot happier when I was standing in front of my whiteboard, explaining plot structure to a camera.
Since my friends have started urging me to point some of my energy towards teaching people online (and they’re totally right-everybody needs something to trick their brain into thinking there’s a point to being alive-teaching people stuff does it for me) I’ve been thinking of different ways I could do such a thing.
And then the Kindle Vella discord that I’m in put out a call looking for people to teach mini courses!
So I threw my hat in the ring, pitched an idea for a hybrid writing course (combo of plotting and pantsing) and now I’m scheduled to teach that class this Friday at 4pm EST. If you’re interested in attending let me know and I’ll get you a link to that discord server.
Eep! So excited!
But I have so many last minute things to do tomorrow in preparation. I need to finish putting together my worksheets and supplementary materials and getting my lesson plan in order. I also have a short chat scheduled with the owner of that server to get the tech issues squared away.
So, yeah, I’m putting out my WWW post today, because I know I’ll be stuck on prep for that class tomorrow.
The next thing I plan to do is create a zoom course. I’ve thought of creating skillshare courses before, but as somebody who has taken skillshare courses…eh…I wasn’t blown away. A skillshare course is basically just a collection of youtube videos. A true course is interactive.
If I did a zoom course, I could take a small group of people, probably between 5-10, and have weekly or bi-weekly sessions that includes participation and group activities. I could actually give feedback on what they produce.
That’s what I’m thinking of now. Probably a 10 week course and I’d charge participants $95. That’s a pretty good deal, I think. Since I got my undergrad in Creative Writing, I know what a higher ed workshop class looks like and feel confident I could recreate that, but better, and charge a fuck ton less for it.
If anybody is interested in taking such a course, I’m starting to collect contact info now, so that once it’s ready to go i know who to contact. I am lucky enough to know some people who work in higher ed who have offered to help me create the syllabus and either a Canvas or Google Classroom component. That will take a little bit of time and it’s my first time trying to do something like this, so while I think this should be ready for launch around August, I really have no idea.
Anyway, Google form if you want to sign up for info about it when it’s ready.
You’re not signing up for the course with this form. You’re just saying ‘Hey, let me know when there’s more info. This is something I MIGHT be interested in.’
Okay, well, that’s really what I’ve been spending my time on. Going rogue and deciding I’m an adjunct on the internet, since I can’t break into that field IRL. Like, bitch, I’ll give myself a job.
I really think my biggest problem in life is that I just don’t have enough to do.
The busier y’all can keep me, the less of a nuisance I’ll be (hopefully).
Okay, we’ve covered the latest passion project in my life. I managed to shoehorn it into this post.
Now onto the books I’ve been reading, in-between all this class prep work.
What Are You Currently Reading?
Self by Nikita Nian is absolutely brilliant.
The book opens with faces in the wall asking the protagonist “Is it true that you are alive?”
Nik, literally as I was writing this, just told me he has once again taken Self off wattpad. Nooooo!
Gah, as much as I love the book, I understand that Nik has other projects to focus on right now.
I’m also reading…
All of these are books I’m reading to prepare for a long-form video essay on problems in the psych industry. Crazy Like Us is a reread for me. I’m doing a refresher read on that one and buddy-reading it with a blogger friend.
I talked a little bit about my experiences with the psych industry and why reform is needed in a recent livestream.
Right now, I’m really engrossed in reading non-fiction about the psych industry and watching a lot of lectures on the topic. There are so many problems with how the DSM is created and how the pharmaceutical companies influence the DSM, as well as patient treatment through the funding of academic studies, “honoria” given to doctors and researchers, rampant astroturfing, and even creating course content for medical schools. Conflicts of interest abound in the psych field, and patients are misdiagnosed and over-medicated to the point of psychosis as a result.
Lastly, I’m reading
And Jennifer Mugrage is awesome. You should definitely check out her blog.
My blogger buddy, Anna from The Book Critter, is also reading this. I need to step up my game and stop being such a slow reader.
What Did You Recently Finish Reading?
This week I finished the arc of the audiobook version of ‘Beginning of the End.’ I read the ebook version as an arc a few months back and gave it a 5 star review. It was fun to revisit the first book in the series (esp since I’m about to start book 4!) in audiobook format.
The experience of reading the ebook as compared to the audiobook: some of the emotional scenes had a little extra flavor. The scene with Daphne reading the letter her dying mother gave her comes to mind. I also loved Daphne’s tone as she talks to her crow companion.
Re-reading this I definitely noticed a few things I didn’t the first time. Mainly that Emily Hurricane is incredible at writing very visceral pain. There are a number of scenes in this book involving intense physical pain and Emily writes it in a way that is so superbly evocative.
I also finished the second erotic short in Lucy Luscious’ ‘Discovering Desires’ series.
It was just as steamy and fun as the first book. I’d actually say it was even more steamy. It’s very light bondage and BDSM, so it would be a good pick for anybody looking to dip their toes into the bdsm erotica genre, without getting into anything too kinky.
What Do You Plan to Read Next?
I need to read book four of the Bloodlines series.
I impulse bought this just for the cover. Damn look at that cover. The classic Halloween imagery coupled with that title, it just gives me such cozy, Halloween vibes (but with smut!)
And I LOVE anything by Pixie Stormcrow. I need to get into this steamy paranormal romance of hers!
That is it for me!
See you again next Weds 
May 3, 2021
Contemporary Romance, Popular Tropes, and Creating Audiobooks: An Interview with Emerald Baynton
Photo by Marcelo Chagas on Pexels.comThe romance genre is the best genre. Just hands-down, the best. And this genre gets so much shade both from people inside of the book community and outside of it. A romance is only deemed “important” if you throw in some artsy-fartsy concept like magical realism and call it literary fiction. Romance readers read more voraciously than any other genre. Stats from the Romance Writers of America show that 31% of Romance readers are nearly constantly reading a romance novel. Meaning they finish one and then dive right into the next one.
I have seen so many nasty things said about romance readers. Many of the most disparaging statements have to do with the readers’ age or (presumed) lack of sex life. For whatever reason, there is a good deal of hostility generated by the idea of old or sexually-undesirable women enjoying something romantic/sexual privately. Like, how dare an old or unattractive woman still have very human sexual urges while privately reading a paperback novel. How dare she. The absolute gall.
There is evidence to support the notion that readers of traditional romance, meaning mass market paperback sales, are older. Romance Writers of America reports that the majority of the American market is aged 30-54.
But also, so what?
You can probably tell that people getting up in arms because old or sexually-undesirable women feel horny privately, in a way that doesn’t inconvenience anybody, upsets me. I’m not sure why people should feel so offended by it. Is anybody up in arms over old or ugly guys watching porn? I guess there is No Fap and there are religious groups, but they come at it in a more ‘hey guys, this is bad for you’ sort of way and aren’t acting appalled and disgusted that undesirable guys are horny in the first place.
Photo by cottonbro on Pexels.comI believe the romance genre has its flaws. I believe it could be improved. I’m also completely open to discussing tropes and criticizing specific elements of romance novels. But that’s not the sort of criticism I’m referring to here. The most vocal critics of the romance genre aren’t concerned about particular tropes or hoping to improve the genre. They just hate the idea of old or ugly women being horny. That’s all. They mock and laugh at women for enjoying something that caters to that particular subset of emotions-the craving for romantic and sexual intimacy. It’s like if women aren’t being horny in a way that can be consumed by men, then that horny-ness shouldn’t exist at all. As if women have no right to the very human experience of being sexual, unless men can benefit from it. And if the woman holds no appeal for men, well, the world doesn’t want her to go off privately and take care of those urges in a way that is a nuisance to absolutely no one. Nope, that would make too much sense.The world despises her for being sexual in a way that is autonomous and wholly for herself.
All of that is to say, I love the romance genre and screw anybody who looks down on romance readers.
Because I love romance so much and I plan to unapologetically defend this genre for all of time, I’m always happy to talk to other romance writers, learn from them, and hear about their experiences writing within this timeless (and consistently out-selling literary fiction) genre.
I had the privilege of interviewing Emerald Baynton, an indie author of contemporary romance and erotica, blogger, mom, and craft enthusiast.
I read her contemporary romance ‘Language of Love.’ She was kind enough to give me an ARC of the newly-released audiobook edition. I’ve written about the book on this blog several times, and the book was discussed in my 2020 Yearly Wrap-Up video with indie author Emily Hurricane.
I’ve also read the first book in her ‘Discovering Desires’ series. This is a series of five contemporary erotic shorts, written under her pen name Lucy Luscious.
Emerald has a knack for writing realistic characters and when she picks a trope, she really nails it. The tropes she chooses aren’t always my personal favorites, but I can say her execution of those tropes is flawless. She’s definitely a writer who knows her genre conventions.
Without further ado, my interview with Emerald Baynton!
Hello Emerald! To start us out, would you mind introducing yourself to my readers and telling us a little about your work?
Hi! I’m Emerald, no that’s not a pen name haha, lots of people think it is. I’m really terrible at these “talk about yourself things” fair warning.
I’m a homeschooling mom of two, though my kids are getting pretty big now. I don’t have to worry about writing around babies or anything. I love to craft and make stuff, a dedicated craft room was at the top of my list when we bought our house.
And I write stuff which I guess we’ll talk more about further down.
That’s awesome that you homeschool. Although I imagine trying to write with kids, even if they aren’t babies, must be challenging at times.
What are some of your favorite craft projects? Anything neat you are working on now?
There’s definitely times, especially with my 11 year old son’s uncanny ability to do his own thing all day and then suddenly need all my attention what I sit down to work haha.
As for craft projects, I do a lot of sewing. I make clothes for my kids. I like that I can customize the sizes and they can pick out patterns. In the past I’ve made custom embroidered baby things, bibs and burp cloths. And I crochet stuffed toys A LOT. My son has an entire collection of mini amigurumi stuffies that live on his desk. I’ve even sold a few on Etsy from time to time. Currently I’m working on a drawstring handbag for my 18 year old daughter. She loved the one I made myself so much she asked me to make her one too.
So, you have two pen names, is that right? Lucy Luscious for erotic shorts on amazon and then Ruby Kiss for longer works of romance?
How do you handle branding and marketing for two different pen names?
Which pen name do you prefer writing under?
I do yes, and I actually have another one for short horror stories, and I plan to publish my sci fi fantasy stuff under my own name if I ever finish them.
What I’m actually trying to do is build the brand around my actual name and have the pen names shoot off that. So my website is called Emerald’s Creations, my Facebook and Twitter author stuff are under my real name and then I list my pen names, so it’s a little different than how most people do it cuz it’s not a secret which names I write under.
I don’t really have a preference. Longer romances are nice cuz I can really get into the meat of a story but my best performing stuff is my series of short eroticas following one couple which started out as an experiment but I actually ended up really enjoying it.
That’s quite an eclectic collection of genres you write in. Is it difficult moving between romance, horror and sci-fi fantasy? Which of those is the most challenging? Can you tell us anything about the SFF projects you have in the works?
No, I don’t find it difficult at all. I actually really like having a variety of projects in different genres otherwise I get bored and burnt out trying to do the same thing over and over. The sci fi stuff is the most challenging because there is a lot more invention involved than contemporary romance that takes place in the real world. But I also love world building even though it is occasionally overwhelming worrying about getting it right.
I’m currently working on a sci fi called Submerged. It was inspired by one of the prompts for Wattpad’s ONC contest but I ended up dropping out of the contest and I’m adapting the idea into a novel. It’s about end stage climate change and a team of 5 characters trying a last ditch effort to save what’s left of the human race. I have really strong feelings about climate change, so this project is very important to me.
It looks like for both erotica and romance you write contemporaries. What steered you towards contemporary romance and erotica? Do you think you’ll ever try out any other sub-genres?
I think I chose contemporary because that’s what I tend to read romance wise, but I would love to try something like historical with princes and princesses. I started with erotica as a kind of dip my toes in the self publishing world thing and then wrote Language of Love after I got over the initial nerves.
It makes sense to write contemporaries if that’s what you like to read. Although I’d definitely be up to check it out if you decide to write some historical. I write historical time travel myself. I like 12th and 13th centuries best. If you dip your toes into historical any idea which country or time period you’ll be focused on?
Ooo I’m going to have to read some of those! If I do get around to doing some historical I would definitely go with Ireland. My family is Irish-Canadian. My mom was born in Ireland and I’ve been a few times. I have tons of family there and my ancestors and family history is Irish on both sides, my dad is first generation Canadian, actually the first in his family to be born here. So I have always wanted an excuse to do more research into Irish history and I would love to write something set there. I’m not sure which time period, I guess I would have to do some reading to decide. Definitely something with Druids.
I’m Irish too! What a coincidence 
My family immigrated to America three generations ago. I grew up doing Irish Step dancing and everything. I think I’d die to see some medieval Irish romance. I didn’t even know I needed that in my life until you put the idea in my head. That’s the time period the Druids are from, right? Medieval?
Well now I definitely have to write one! Druids are one of those things that weave in and out of Irish history, it’s hard to pinpoint since so much of the history was lost due to different wars and conquering and stuff. But a quick search tells me that the earliest recordings date all the way back to the 3rd century BCE so there’s a ton of room to write in different time periods. I smell research in my future.
Photo by Julia Volk on Pexels.comWhat are some of your favorite romance and erotica tropes? Do you have any tropes you love but haven’t yet written? What are your least favorite romance/erotica tropes?
I don’t actually read a ton of romance and erotica myself, but I’m a sucker for a good chick lit rom com like the Shopaholic series or The Flatshare. In most of my stuff I try to write progressive stories with strong leading ladies. I don’t really have any tropes I’m dying to write that I haven’t.
Funny story about my least favourite tropes, I’m not a fan of the most popular ones like alpha males, shy virgins etc. But when I started my latest series I decided to try and write all those tropes I didn’t like and they ended up being my most popular books and I actually like the characters now, more than I thought I would.
I think I read one of the Shopaholic books. Christmas Shopaholic is one of those books right? With a character named Becky? The book was a fun read, but the main character made me a little crazy lol I felt bad for her poor husband. I didn’t make it to the end. I think I DNF’d at 80%. Want to spoil the ending for me?
Maybe I missed that one! Now I’m going to have to go look because I don’t remember a Christmas one, but yes that’s the series. Becky is the main character and her long suffering husband Luke haha. She is a little crazy but I find them hilarious and I’m a big fan of Sophie Kinsella’s writing style. She has a few other stand alone contemporaries that are also pretty good.
And gosh, Becky “she is a little crazy” is right. I read the book like “My GOD! Why is she making everything so difficult!” Such second-hand stress from her ridiculous misadventures. Just one of the stressful situations she got into in the Christmas book was she wanted to get this fancy piece of luggage for her husband for Christmas. It was a prize being given away in a raffle at this billiards club. She tried to join the club just to enter the raffle. They told her women weren’t allowed to join. She got all in a feminist huff and this old guy at the club agreed with her and he went to bat for her to get her a time to speak her piece to the committee and argue why women should be allowed to join. The whole thing was sooo cringey and stressful. She knew nothing about billiards and here she was giving this whole speech, while this poor old guy is going out on a limb for her, and she didn’t give a single crud about anything except entering the raffle to win the trunk. I was just…..Becky….STAHP….go home and relax and get your husband a tie or something.
OMG, I had to google because I really did not remember that scene with Becky and I discovered the book you’re talking about is the newest one and I haven’t read that yet! So yay, now I have a new one to read lol.
Anyway, enough about the stress this fictional woman gave me XD
Who are some of your other favorite writers? Any that are particularly influential on your own writing style?
I will also read basically anything by Jenny Trout, her Boss series of bdsm/erotic romance just finished with the 8th book and they are fantastic. I love the Outlander series by Diana Gabaldon, I discovered those when the show first started and there were 7? I think? Books out. I read them all over the course of like 4 days and didn’t do anything else except read and cry haha.
I also love some good Stephen King, one of the first books I read as a kid that wasn’t like “for kids” (re: Sweet Valley High and Goosebumps etc) was Needful Things when I was around 13, probably not the best fare for a kid but I loved it.
As far as being influential on my writing style, I have this horrible fear that I will accidentally adopt another author’s voice when I am writing, so I try really hard to not be influenced by other people but Stephen Kings On Writing was very instructional and Jenny Trout did an hilarious series of recaps on the 50 Shades series that I learned so much about what not to do from reading those.
To get back to your tropes answer….hold up hold up….is the shy virgin a popular trope? That’s what I write and I feel like nobody likes it.
Oh wait! I just realized, you mean for the woman to be the shy virgin? Yeah….I’m not a fan myself. I like it swapped though. Shy virgin men. They’re cute. But I can’t relate to the “good girl” character myself and just bored of reading the same character that I can’t relate to over and over again.
I personally would also rather read a shy dude than a shy virgin girl, it drives me nuts and my first several eroticas I went out of my way to have experienced female characters. But, unfortunately I found doing my Desires series that the shy virgin girl is what gets the most attention.
If you ever decide to write a shy virgin man instead, I’ll eat that up! Although, I’ll tell you from my own experience, it doesn’t seem to be a trope that’s super popular with women (pretty much only male weebs read my books-I may be the only romance author who can say that lmao). I definitely can’t shade you for using a trope that works.
Why do you think the shy virgin woman is so popular a trope? It seems pretty weird that the untouched woman is so highly fetishized in a genre dominated by women. Exceedingly so, considering we have horny women reading smut and projecting themselves onto naive, sexually-inexperienced women. It’s odd. It seems like women are ashamed of being sexual and can’t enjoy the story unless they are projecting themselves onto someone untouched and innocent. But that’s my theory. Any thoughts?
I wish I had the answer to this question because I find it super unrealistic but I think it is wrapped up in out dated ideas of purity and all that but also the idea that one man can be so sexual and amazing that he just unlocks this part of a woman she didn’t know existed. Which again, unrealistic but it seems to be idea behind pretty much all the books in that trope.
I think you’re right on the money, it’s our internalized misogyny coming out that drives women to enjoy books like that, even though the vast majority of us are not pure and virginal. Although an interesting side note, on reader communities I often see women asking for romance/erotica that is not the shy virgin trope, that they are bored of them and would like something more realistic but in my experience when you write that stuff it doesn’t get read so? I have so many questions, maybe we need to do a giant reader poll or something to find out why.
What does your ideal fictional man look like? What can we expect from the heroes in your stories?
Is it cheesy if I describe my husband here? Haha. I don’t really have an ideal fictional man hmm. I tend to go for the smart guy characters rather than the traditional leading man who’s clearly supposed to be the favourite. The leading man in my book Language of Love is probably what I would most like to read in a romance book. Kind and understanding supportive type guys. However, like I said above with my latest series the main guy is nice enough but very different from that so I can’t promise consistency lol.
What advice would you give to others hoping to publish amazon or erotica on amazon? What have been some of the greatest challenges with that?
Get yourself a best friend that’s already self published and have them hold your hand through the process lmao. But seriously the best advice is if you’re thinking about doing it go for it, read the help pages on amazon and join author groups for support, there’s tons of free resources available to help you get started.
You recently released your first audiobook. Can you tell us a little about that?
Sure! It was pretty easy actually. The ACX website links to your amazon account and makes it super simple to add your book and start taking auditions. There’s lot of options to narrow down the kind of narrator you’re looking for, more options than I even considered when I started out.
I did have some serious nerves/second hand embarrassment listening to my own work read out loud by someone else, but I have been informed that that is silly.
I also get weirdly nervous listening to my smut read aloud for narrator auditions. I just sit and cringe the entire time lol I’ve been holding off choosing a narrator for my alien femdom smut for that reason. Every time I try to listen to the auditions, I just want to die of embarrassment. Any tips on pushing through anyway and choosing the best narrator?
I listened to them while doing something else, like baking bread or doing dishes. Stuff that was pretty mindless but enough to distract me from the cringing embarrassment. I’m so glad I’m not the only one who is super embarrassed listening to their own stuff read back. It also helps if you have someone else who actively listens to audiobooks, I don’t so at first I had no idea what I was even listening for aside from getting the right voice for my characters. So getting feedback from some other people, Emily [Hurricane] listened to all my auditions and my husband did too, was really helpful and gave me a break from cringing.
I definitely also recommend listening to the whole book when it’s done. I made the mistake of just listening to the beginning of several chapters and key scenes once the book was done and assuming it was all just as good. Then I found out later from readers that there were some quality control issues I had missed, so as hard as it is, make the time to power through the whole thing before you approve the audio.
Do you use any other serial sites outside of wattpad? Are you still an active user of wattpad? What do you think of the changes they’d made over the past couple of years?
I am not on any other serial sites, although I have applied to Radish once and I’ll probably apply again or try out Kindle Vella when it becomes available in Canada. However I’m really terrible at serializing, the pressure sets off my anxiety disorder so anything I did serialize I would have to actually be finished writing before I started posting it. I’m not active on Wattpad really at all, I have a few friends on there that I follow and I have some chapters/excerpts from books but that’s it, so I don’t really have an opinion on any of the changes that have happened.
And if we could end on some fun questions: Do you have a favorite band or musical artist? What’s your favorite movie? If you could travel anywhere in the world, where would you go?
Ahh these are the hardest questions. Well the music and movies ones are haha. I like lots of different music, I don’t really have a favourite artist. If I had to pick a favourite style I am totally unashamed of my love of pop music and love ballads. I love to sing so those are right up my alley.
The first movie that comes to mind that I could watch over and over and over again would be Braveheart, I have it completely memorized at this point and I will still watch it. But also Star Wars, all the Marvel movies, basically go to the nerd section of any streaming service and that’s where I’ll be.
If I could travel anywhere I would go to Olduvai Gorge in Africa. Before I decided writing was it for me, I went to school for Anthropology and it will always hold a special place in my heart, even though doing it as a career became unrealistic. Olduvai Gorge is where some of the first and largest collections of early human fossils were found, think cradle of civilization type stuff.
I would love to just stand in that spot where it all began for humankind.
That’s it for my interview with Emerald Baynton! Be sure to check out her work if you love contemporary romance and erotica.
The Discovering Desires series
The Language of Love on Audible and in ebook and print
Check out Emerald’s blog for awesome spotlights on wattpad writers and other indie writers.
And the other places you can find this cool lady
April 30, 2021
Later today I’ll be doing my first livestream
Okay, so….definitely did NOT know it was gonna up and snap a picture for the thumbnail during setup.
Anyway, I’m gonna do a thing and talk about my experiences with the psych industry. I believe that anybody who advocates for people to go to therapy, anybody who is pro-medication, has an ethical responsibility to also advocate for reform in the psych industry.
Conflicts of interest are ridiculous. Did you know 20 of the 29 people on the board for the DSM-5 were receiving “honoria”-that is $$$ from pharmaceutical companies? For that edition of the DSM, several disorders were reclassified as depressive disorders, because money. The drug companies want more anti-depressants prescribed
I’ve been getting more into the online anti-psychiatry community, and I guess i’m gonna have to be the fence-sitter of that community. I don’t believe nobody ever needs medication. I don’t believe ALL mental illness is a trauma reaction, and I definitely don’t believe that psychiatry should be abolished.
But it does have a lot of problems, and if you don’t have a severe mental illness, if you’ve never been in-patient, or had police involved in crisis intervention, then you haven’t seen the side of the psych field that I have.
It’s really not pretty.
Basically, since my last episode had me acting so stupid on the internet that I couldn’t look any worse if I tried, I’m just not embarrassed to talk about this stuff anymore. I had a very public meltdown. I couldn’t look like more of an unhinged dumbass if I tried.
Cool. Nothing left to lose. Now let’s talk about problems in the psych industry.
April 28, 2021
The Second Edition of Combustion Goes Live Tomorrow!
Rachel lives in constant fear that she will burst into flames. She can feel the heat building in her gut. She keeps buckets of water under the bed. She keeps them to fend off the flames that her body may create. Autocombustophobia. That's what they say she has. No one will believe Rachel when she explains that she spontaneously combusted once before. That's why her body is covered in burns. Rachel's mother is the only one who knows what really happened to her. All she said was that it was an accident, before she disappeared leaving Rachel to live with her grandparents. When Rachel becomes reunited with her estranged mother, she struggles to uncover the truth behind her injuries. As Rachel spends time with the mother she has never known, she is thrown into a strange world of paranormal obsession, spells, and sage burning. Long buried family secrets are revealed and Rachel's fear of Spontaneous Human Combustion becomes unmanageable. There are some terrifying truths to uncover and a man on fire. He stands burning at the foot of her bed.
The book is available through most book retailers here!
It may not be available through amazon for another couple of days. And I’ve run into a bit of a hiccup with the physical books (My gosh, isn’t there always some formatting hold up with creating hardcovers and paperbacks?) But I’m hoping those should be good to go very soon.
In addition to releasing this second edition, with some revisions and BONUS new content!! XD….I’m also putting the unedited first edition back on wattpad, where people will be able to read it for free. Yes, it will different than the published version and have some typos, but it’s free.
That’s it for me! I hope some of you guys will think about checking out the book if you enjoy gothic horror or domestic suspense.
April 26, 2021
Reading Tastes Tag
I was tagged by Anna the Book Critter who found this tag on booktube, created by Sophia from Sophia’s Thoughts.
1. What is your favorite genre?
I have two favorite genres, horror and romance. I love both and that’s why I write both.
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.comShameless plug! The second edition of my horror novel Combustion will be launching 4/29.
2. What is the most difficult genre for you to read?
Epic fantasy. I’m enjoying the Wheel of Time series, but book two did take me a while to slog through. And I had to throw in the towel on Malazan. I think I only got about 100 pages into this beast.
Epic fantasy just often plots that don’t really interest me. I like watching chemistry and drama between characters. I don’t care very much for saving-the-world stuff and warfare.
3. What is your preferred age range?
I prefer adult fiction. I don’t read very much YA or middle grade. I’ll make an exception for YA if the premise really grabs me. Like the Unwind series is a YA dystopian that I absolutely LOVE.
4. Are you a character driven or plot driven reader?
I think you need a little bit of both. Characters should drive the story sometimes, but it’s also good to have them react to external events. It’s a false dichotomy: characters or plot. Characters influence the plot and vice versa.
5. Do you have a preferred perspective?
I like third limited usually. Although first is starting to grow on me.
6. Do you have a preferred tense?
I prefer past tense usually, but sometimes a particular story will work better in first.
7. Do you like series or stand-alone books best?
I like both. I wouldn’t say I have a preference.
8. Which would you rather, long or short books?
I usually prefer shorter books. Unless it’s a romance. A good romance can be a little longer, if the word count is used well, character development and you know….intimate scenes. My own romance novels range from 110-125k words.
9. Which format do you like best?
I usually prefer physical books. But I get a lot of arcs in digital form and lately I’ve been doing a lot more reading kindle books. I mean, I read the kindle books on a desktop computer, but still. I’ve also been listening to a lot of audiobooks. I got a handful of audiobook arcs and I’ve just been getting more into audible. I used to only use Overdrive to take out audiobooks from the library. Audible is pricey and annoying, but they do have a lot more books to choose from. With Overdrive, you usually have a massive wait time if you have a specific book you want.
10. What are you currently reading?
I’m currently reading…
This is a Western novella series by Emily Hurricane (writing under one of her many pen names). I put it down for a while, but jumping back into it now.
Another book I’m taking WAY too long to get through! Gah! I’m a slow reader because I hop around too much.
And lastly, my buddy Nik has put his brilliant gothic novel ‘Self’ back up on wattpad.
I read the first few chapters of this story back in 2017 and was blown away. It is sooo brilliant! I absolutely adore it. Support an indie author and check out Nikita Nian’s work here
Okay, that’s it for the tag! I tag anybody who feels like doing it
Ranking Romance: Mini Reviews and a Tier List of Smutty Recent Reads
I’m never quite sure how to handle all the short books I read, the amazon romances that are novella-length and the erotica that is short story length. I’d like to work that stuff into my blogging, but there’s usually not a TON to say about books so short. Especially not in a genre that has such a specific purpose-it’s not trying to be high art, and that’s fine, it just doesn’t leave you with a lot of material for interesting blog posts.
So, since a couple of the books on my recently devoured romance TBR were arcs, and I like to give authors as many shout outs (honest shout outs) as I can when they give me free shit, I decided to do a tier list of all the recent smutty reads.
Some of these I ended up reading by talking to other romance/erotica writers in different discord servers and some of them I found on amazon and decided to read because I write amazon erotica and it’s good market research to keep up with what’s doing well over there. All of that is just to explain why the list is so eclectic.
Below are the books I’m ranking and mini-reviewing:
Okay! So seven books. These are all the romance/erotica books I’ve read in the past month. We have a few different formats and genres. These rage from short erotica to novella, and there is one full-length romance novel.
I shall rank them in order from worst to best, and give you the book details and a mini review with each.
Let’s Start with the Book I Enjoyed the Least7) Maid for the Alien Warrior by Athena Storm and Tara Starr
If you really want to hear me rant, I have a youtube video.
Recently I nuked my youtube channel, moved all my videos to a new channel, and started from scratch. I did this for…reasons…Jyvur is actually a crazy person reasons….Anyway, there is my new channel. I reuploaded all of the most popular videos and have 5 whole subscribers.
Okay okay…I’m off track.
Back to that book.
It was AWFUL. One of the worst books I’ve read in years. But if you go look at the goodreads reviews, they are overwhelmingly positive. That’s why my booktube video really devolved into a rant about how fake progressives are. It baffles me that people spout all this social justice stuff, but nobody ever holds the romance genre accountable. I think it’s because all standards go out the window when women are horny. It’s all fine if it makes women wet.
This book is some real racist-colonizer-fixed-by-the-power-of-good-pussy other shit.
Format: full-length romance novel
Sub-genre: science-fiction
Tropes: alien warrior, nanny-boss romance, forced proximity, alien mates
Romance: Lifeless, dull
Steaminess: Nonexistent-sex scenes are boring
Characters: The only ones I liked were the kids. Both the male and female leads sort of sucked. Mostly the male lead.
My review:
Let me get the vital stuff out of the way, before I get into the heavy stuff.
This book has two sex scenes and they both sucked.
If you want to fap to this book, you’re gonna have trouble because there is very little sex and none of it is good.
There is, however, a lot of ‘racist colonizer saved by the power of good pussy’ metanarrative, so if THAT is your thing, go off I guess. Now, I figured we’d all learned a little since Pocahantas and Avatar. Apparently not. Apparently it’s still cool to have the male lead be an actual racist dickhead (and in this story is LEGIT okay with humans forced to live in RACIAL GHETTOS and having-his words not mine-racial epithets hurled at them) but then he learns not to be racist when he gets fucked real good….is it me? Anybody? WHY am I, the freaking Republican, having to come out of the woodwork and lay down the law here about why the idea of fucking the bigot out of someone is a dangerous and icky idea. I’ll tell y’all, bookish community, it’s funny how intersectional everybody is and how woke everybody is until it’s time for sexy times. Then I guess it’s ‘UwU marginalize and subjugate me, Daddy! Are you seven feet tall with a gigaChad jaw? Nah, it’s cool, you can think I’m inferior based on intrinsic characteristics and we will just never EVER resolve that because the dick so good.’
Really, I am not with all the social justice intersectionalism. A lot of it is nonsense. A lot of it performative. And a lot of it is thinly-veiled racism (no matter how many times the word anti-racism is flung about). But THIS is just common sense decency: you don’t have a character be openly racist and then FINALLY start to care about the marginalization of an oppressed group after he gets his dick wet. There is so much wrong with that. No, I do not care that this was an alien and humans are the oppressed group. There are strong parallels to real world oppression; including the aforementioned ghetto and racial slurs. Humans live in squalor and have less rights than the aliens, and this man never fucking cares until a human makes his dick hard.
This is wrong. This is fucked up.
Do better.
The male lead is also classist, looking down on servants and anyone lower class. In today’s postmodern nightmare where everybody is jerking off to Marxism, you guys really need a Ben Shapiro stan to come and tell you it’s fucked up to judge people for their income level? Really?
The nonsense running rampant in the romance genre is why I don’t trust progressives. Y’all needa be on this shit. Why do women get wet to such fuckery?
Forget CRT. Forget intersectionalism.
All humans need is common sense decency, and a narrative romancing an abhorrent MC like this? It ain’t it, chief. It is not decent or responsible.
So much so much wrong with this book, I couldn’t begin to unpack it all.
I might have to whip out the word “problematic.” This book is so bad it made me woke.
And I’m not sorry for being harsh.
It is legitimately wrong to create this world with oppression and racism and then frame it all in a ‘good pussy fixes bigotry’ metanarrative.
I’m sorry, but what are you trying to say? Should we all be out fucking white supremicists right now? Gargle some nazi dick or are you even an ally?
Really, think about the shit you put out in the world. You could have just NOT done all the racism/oppression stuff. You don’t need it in a romance.
The main character was a terrible ruler. He didn’t give a crap about oppression in his kingdom. He was a sexist.
And on top of all that….the dick wasn’t even that good.
I picked this book up for the smut, not a sloppy story about racism that does more harm than good. The little smut there is is BAD.
There is no steam. I didn’t come close to having any kind of moment. Let’s just say the terrain south of the border is arid, not a hint of precipitation.
So why did I give it 2 stars?
Iyllere is an awesome character. I liked that the child character actually had some personality for once and didn’t annoy the fuck out of me. I also liked the action-packed scene with the murder bird.
And the cover is pretty.
The rest of the book drove me insane. Fuck. I think I’m a Democrat now. That’s how bad this was.
6) Natalie’s Guidance by A. Ritter
This book had some sexy moments, but there WAY too many uncomfortable moments for me to ever really get into it. This is a femdom erotica of the ‘gynocentrism’ subgenre, which is not a subgenre I was aware existed. And….I am not a fan. Like at all.
Format: Erotic short story
Sub-genre: femdom, gynocentrism
Tropes: male slavery, female domination, spanking, public humiliation
Romance: the story aims for romance. There is some tenderness attempted between the two main characters. It really didn’t work for me. I was way too squiked out by the whole premise.
Steaminess: Eh…some of it could have worked, had this been a normal couple absent the whole all-men-are-sex-slaves-in-this-world premise. Without the weirdness of the premise, the spanking scene could have been hot. But like…no, didn’t do it for me. I like my smut a tad more consensual. It’s not really consensual if it’s this extreme matriarchy where dudes don’t have any choice.
Characters: Ick…we have the whole pathetic little spineless simp issue that you often see in femdom erotica. If I can give myself some props for a second, when women I meet in the romance community who aren’t into femdom gave my book ‘Desire and Destruction’ a whirl, a lot of them were pleasantly surprised and said stuff like “I didn’t realize submissive men could be…you know…manly. He wasn’t this lame pushover.”-That’s so important in writing a couple with a playful power dynamic. They are still a couple. There is still compromise and give and take. They aren’t constantly going to be in sex-mode. I get this is a short story, but still….nobody wants a lame, pushover man with no personality outside of ‘top me, mommy.’ The characters in this story were flat, unattractive, and not compelling in the least.
My review:
5) The Horny MILF Slave is Spanked by Sheila Love
Yes, yes, only the finest of literature on this book blog.
What do you want from me? At least you’re not reading your 1000th milk toast opinion on Addie LaRue.
This one had nice build-up. The dialogue was sexy in parts. Although…I could really do without all the “bitch” stuff. The actual spanking scene was incredibly anti-climactic. It was like the writer got lazy and phoned it in for the ending.
Also, I know this is a stupid hang-up, but it’s my hang-up. I don’t like when the cover doesn’t match the story. The woman in the story is wearing exercise clothes from the gym. There shouldn’t be a model in fetish gear on the cover.
Format: Erotic Short Story
Sub-genres: BDSM
Tropes: MILF, older woman-younger man, spanking, gym sex
Romance: None. It’s not that sort of story.
Steaminess: Eh…the buildup was there. The story doesn’t stick the landing at all though. It really putters out just as the heat should be getting turned up.
Characters: Meh…fine, I guess? The male lead was one of those cold, cruel dominants and that’s not my speed at all.
My review:
4) Language of Love by Ruby Kiss
I received an audiobook arc of this in exchange for an honest review.
To be honest, I sort of knew right off the bat this wouldn’t be for me. Since the author and I run in the same writing circles, I wanted to help out with an arc review. But yeah, contemporary romance isn’t my thing and professor-student romance isn’t my thing.
So this book is right in the middle of the list, because I just feel very ‘meh’ about it. I didn’t hate it or love it. I don’t have strong feelings either way. I knew what the tropes were going into the book, so I didn’t take any stars off, even though they aren’t my favorite tropes.
There were issues with the audiobook performance, but the author is aware of them and the issues with the current version may not apply to future versions.
Format: Romance Novella
Subgenre: Contemporary Romance
Tropes: professor-student romance, college setting, older man-younger woman
Romance: Cute, wholesome. I liked that the male lead was kind and respectful. I’m sick of jerk male leads.
Steaminess: Didn’t personally do it for me. It wasn’t awful though. Like the book itself, I felt quite ‘meh’ about the sex scenes.
Characters: The characters were adequately fleshed out for a novella of this length, I guess. I would have liked a more interesting male lead. While he was kind and considerate, and I enjoyed that, he didn’t really have any flaws or weaknesses. Same with the female lead. No real flaws or weaknesses. I know there has to be some allowances given for shorter works, but I think with all the scenes of eating and drinking coffee, we could have squeezed in some interesting characterization.
My review:
3) Aliyah’s Surrender by Lucy Luscious
This one had a little bit of steam factor. I enjoyed it. Short and right to the point. It’s another story that had tropes I don’t like. I’m not into the rich guy trope. But again, since I knew that’s what the story was going into it, I didn’t take points off for it. This is another book I read since the author and I run in the same online circles.
Format: Erotic Short Story
Subgenre: Contemporary romance
Tropes: Rich male lead, wined-and-dined fantasy
Romance: It was okay. The story has more of a focus on sex, but the romance that is included is fine.
Steaminess: Thumbs up! We love a good fingering scene. If it were up to me, we could just cut most of the actual penetration in erotica and replace it all with good fingering scenes. The sex in this story is hot. Moments were had. The penetration scene was pretty good too.
Characters: Meh, they serve their purpose.
My review:
2) Pollinating the Plant Monster by Brian Beltane
The sex in this erotica was super hot. Very steamy and a wonderfully unique premise.
Format: Erotic Short Story
Subgenre: Monster Girl
Tropes: Pheromones, Breeding, Player
Romance: It was sweet. I liked the chemistry between the two characters.
Steaminess: SUPER hot. I love how the male lead takes time to check how the female is responding and asks her if he should stop. Even though this is a short erotica, the communication and respect adds a lot to the story. More erotica writers should take the time to incorporate those factors.
Characters: I didn’t like that the male lead was a player. The player thing just doesn’t do it for me. I enjoyed the story regardless, but could have done without that. Aside from that, the characters were unique and enjoyable. They had distinct voices. Very different than the standard stock erotica characters.
My review:
This was a VERY sexy story. I loved the dynamic between the plant monster and James. The dialogue was great. A good erotica needs sexy dialogue. Cheesy or weird dialogue ruins the whole thing. The dialogue in this story is perfect.
“What are you doing? I can’t stand it anymore, fuck me.”
Mwah! Perfection!
Here is another bit I really liked:
“It was better to go slowly, in any case. You couldn’t just start slapping and pounding at a woman’s most sensitive area. Women, even plant women, needed to get warmed up first.”
*slow clap* Can we make this a PSA? Can we work this into the sex ed curriculum? Criminey the sheer volume of men who don’t know this.
Honestly, I’m amazed this smut was written by a man (unless it’s a pseudonym thing) because this male character really knows what he’s doing. He knows how a vagina works. He’s also incredibly tender and respectful through the fucking. Taking the time to ask “Do you want me to stop?” and going slowly when the plant monster asks him to.
The whole thing was super hot. It really did it for me. Bravo.
There were only a couple of reasons why I marked it down to 4 stars. One is that the girl on the cover does not match the description of the girl in the story. For one, there is a blonde on the cover and the plant monster is described as having red hair (also the skin color is wrong). Not only that, but this appears to take place in a medieval-inspired society. The girl on the cover is wearing modern clothes. Look, I write amazon erotica too. If you can’t find an appropriate stock image, it’s not difficult or expensive to commission original artwork.
And then there was the fact that the male lead is a player. I just personally don’t like. I prefer the shy bumbling virgin who is kind of intimidated by women. I know I also said I liked that this guy knew what he was doing. I mean, I’d sacrifice that aspect of the story to ditch the player aspect. Players are a massive turn off. And any dude who is willing to listen and be respectful can give you a good time, so you don’t really need a dude to be experienced.
Also the story pulls in the whole not-like-the-other-girls thing. All the other women he fucked before the plant girl were greedy and awful for wanting him to settle down, but the plant girl is NOT greedy or awful for wanting him to settle down, because she has the superior pussy.
I just really hate that shit. It’s insidious and breeds this nefarious idea that women should be competing for men, and the women who fail to get men to commit have something wrong with them. More than that, but they should be mocked or insulted for even WANTING the man to commit.
It doesn’t matter to me that this is a silly amazon erotica. When ideas are prevalent throughout fiction, they enter our collective consciousness and shape our attitudes and beliefs, and likely, to some extent, our actions. We have to be responsible with the fiction we produce. All of it. Even the silly fantasy.
That being said, since it is a silly fantasy, I only marked it down one star for all of the above issues.
At the end of the day, it did fulfill its primary purpose. It was fun, sexy, and different, and I’d definitely be up to read more from this author.
This was my absolute favorite out of this list for one reason: it is BOTH sweet and sexy. We get cheesy, ooey-gooey romance and some steamy sex scenes. It’s also the only subgenre of contemporary that I like, Christmas romance! I love a Christmas romance. Most Christmas romance is clean, so I’m loving that I finally found one that has all the sweetness of a Hallmark Christmas movie, but the characters actually fuck. I think Hallmark could make a killing if they had a Hallmark-After-Dark division, where all the characters actually fuck in the cheesy Christmas movies. Because I need both. I need the characters to bond over serving meals in a homeless shelter, but then bang it out in a bunch of different positions. I got both in this novella by Maureen Shigeno.
Format: Romance Novella
Subgenre: Contemporary Romance, Christmas Romance
Tropes: Best Friend’s Brother, Friends to Lovers, Fake Relationship, Friends with Benefits
Romance: Super DUPER cute! Gah! This was cheesy in the best way. The characters are fake dating, but both of them are secretly trying to use the fake dating to make the other one fall in love with them. It’s so damn sweet. I liked it so much. The chemistry between the characters is adorable.
Steaminess: VERY sexy. My favorite scene was when Taylor masturbates in front of Aiden and she says his name…ah! So sexy. I loved it. More erotic romance needs to incorporate scenes of masturbating for the other person’s entertainment. Like, it’s just so hot and so under-used.
Characters: I’m not gonna lie and say they were super developed. But they were perfectly serviceable characters for a novella of this length and genre.
My review:
Well, there’s my romance/erotica roundup for the past month. Have you read any of these? What did you think of them?
And while we’re talking smut, let’s end with a shameless self-promo!
April 24, 2021
My Book is Going on Tour Starting 4/29!
So with my book being relaunched on 4/29 (second edition will include new bonus content!) it will also be going on blog tour through Silver Dagger. I love working with Silver Dagger, both as a book blogger and a writer. Maia makes everything so easy. She answers every question and is always a joy to work with. As a book blogger. I love getting arcs through them. I always get an awesome and comprehensive media kit with all the information and graphics I need to make an awesome post.
For real, look at that awesome banner. You think I made that? Do you know me? I was born in 1988, but I’m basically a boomer. Spiritually I’m a boomer. There’s no way I could make a promo banner that gorgeous. Silver Dagger handles so many of the nitty gritty details like that. I’ve worked with a couple of other book tour companies and I worked with one publisher directly, and so far, my favorite partner when it comes to getting arcs and hosting for blog tours is Silver Dagger.
Anyhow, I am running a giveaway that will be open to blog tour hosts (you can also host if you have a facebook page, book twitter, or bookstagram). The giveway will include a $25 amazon gift card (one winner for this prize) and two pieces of book swag. THREE winners will receive both pieces of book swag.
The swag will include one journal with custom artwork designed by a very talented artist. And also a make-up pouch which was popular with the launch of the first edition.
So that’s one pencil case/makeup pouch (whatever you want to use it for) and one notebook. Three winners.
you can check out all my merch in my etsy store
https://www.etsy.com/listing/944755242/copy-of-journal-ruled-line?ref=shop_home_active_6
https://www.etsy.com/listing/960050913/accessory-pouch?ref=shop_home_active_1
Okay! That’s it for news on my end. My media kit is ready to go, I’ve got my guest posts prewritten, I’ve got my giveaway swag, and now I’m just patiently waiting for the second edition of my novel to go live and the blog tour to start!
You can sign up to host for the tour here!
ExcerptThe flame birthed itself at the end of the match. It danced, red and orange, against the backdrop of the still night. Rachel opened her mouth as wide as she could, until the corners of her lips were stretched as far as they would go. She made sure that her mouth was a wide, round circle. Just like the man on fire. Probably just like Mary Reeser had done. She was going to spontaneously combust. She would do it now.
And she could stop waiting for it to happen. She was never going to have to be afraid of it happening again. It was all about to be over. Rachel watched the flame slide down lower, burning away at the wood of the match. It was going to reach her hand soon, so she had to do this fast. Spontaneous Human Combustion started inside the body.
Rachel understood why the man on fire had his mouth wide open.
There wasn’t any time left.
Rachel took the match and placed it into her open mouth.
Book Tour and Giveaway for My Favorite Dystopian Werewolf Series: Bloodlines by Emily Hurricane
This is a series I have written about a TON. If you look back through this blog, you’ll see lots of posts where I mention the Bloodlines series. It is a book about the end of the world, but everybody who survives the apocalypse is a werewolf. So, the best way I can describe is ‘The Walking Dead’ but no zombies and all of the characters are werewolves.
It’s incredibly creative and it’s so refreshing to see a werewolf story outside of the romance genre. Not that I don’t love romance. I’m just always excited when I see someone doing something different.
When I heard Emily Hurricane was going to be sending her series out on tour with Silver Dagger Blog Tours, I knew I had to sign up to host! This is such a fun and action-packed novella series.
Two weeks into the apocalypse, Daphne burned her hometown to the ground. The town she’d grown up in. The town she’d built her life in. The town that she was supposed to die in. But for some reason, everyone else had died and left her behind.
She fingered the silver pendant that hung from a long chain around her neck. The sigil was a mystery, all looping metal that looked like some kind of Celtic symbol. Hopefully it would lead her to answers.
Daphne took a deep breath, inhaling the scent of her whole world burning away. It mostly smelled like pine, as the small east-coast harbour town was built mostly from the deciduous trees that surrounded it on the back end. The rest was just ocean. Their little peninsula had been an oasis for the locals, one of the small communities supported by a nearby gold mine.
She pursed her lips and closed her eyes, letting the heat of the flames wash over her face, cleanse her of her past that had been full of lies.
The world had gone to shit. Everyone was dead. Except for maybe one other person who could tell her why she wasn’t.
~~🕮🕮~~ #BookTour & #Giveaway ~~🕮🕮~~
•¨) ★
¸.•*´¨
) ★.•*
★(¸.•
´ •*¨) ★•*´¨) ★.•*´
★(¸. BLOODLINES SERIES
by Emily S. Hurricane
#Paranormal #UrbanFantasy #Fantasy #Bloodlines #FREE #99cents @EmilySHurricane
~~ 🕮 ~~~~ 🕮 ~~~~ 🕮 ~~~~ 🕮 ~~
The Beginning of the End
Bloodlines Vol. 1
Daphne Rhodes would tell anyone: being ‘the one’ sucks.
At least, she would if there was anyone left to tell. She’s the one who’d survived. The one with the magic immune system that saved her.
The only one left on this whole miserable planet.
Daphne spends her days alone and craving answers as to why it had to be her. Why did she have to watch everyone she’d ever known and loved die a horrific death?
On her mother’s deathbed, Daphne learns long-hidden family secrets that send her on a quest across Canada to not only discover where she came from, why she survived, and who she is…but what she is, as well.
Volume 1 of the Bloodlines Series
**Get it FREE!!**
Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/57007317-the-beginning-of-the-end
Buy Links
Audible: https://www.audible.com/pd/The-Beginning-of-the-End-Bloodlines-Vol-1-Audiobook/B08ZBF8RTP
Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B08VHNRGXG
Apple: https://books.apple.com/us/book/id1551646553
Kobo: https://www.kobo.com/ca/en/ebook/the-beginning-of-the-end-25
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Southern Ice
Bloodlines Vol. 2
Daphne’s finally found where she belongs in this apocalypse. Now she just has to hold onto it.
Unfortunately, that’s easier said than done when no one in her new pack trusts the new half-wolf who can’t even shift. Daphne is an enigma to them, and she knows she’s going to have to fight tooth and nail to make a place for herself here. A home.
Though, no home is without its cracks in the foundation as Daphne is about to find out. When she discovers a massive betrayal—a mole in her pack—Daphne has to decide what to do with this information. Does she keep it to herself and play it safe with her already fragile place in the community?
Or does she oust the traitor and risk her life in the process?
Volume 2 of the Bloodlines Series
**Only .99 cents!!**
Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/57107765-southern-ice
Buy Links
Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B08WR4ZZ4M
Apple: https://books.apple.com/us/book/southern-ice/id1554009959
B&N: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/southern-ice-emily-s-hurricane/1138843215?ean=2940165341960
Kobo: https://www.kobo.com/ca/en/ebook/southern-ice
Smashwords: https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/1072655
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A Tale of Two Fathers
Bloodlines Vol. 3
Being born with a destiny doesn’t guarantee that you’ll live long enough to fulfill it. Killian DeBruijn might just die in pursuit of his.
After losing his parents, Killian is forced to step up to the plate as Alpha, a role he’s long been fated for, but isn’t sure he can fill. After a revenge play gone wrong, the future looks bleak.
To further complicate things, the apocalypse wipes out humanity, and he has no choice but to step up and try to create a place where wolf packs are safe and taken care of.
But Killian isn’t the only Alpha among them.
Too many cooks in one kitchen never works out, and when tensions rise, Killian saddles up for a battle among Alphas to see who will come out on top as the one true leader.
A battle that very well might be to the death.
Volume 3 of the Bloodlines Series
**Only .99 cents!!**
Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/57142853-a-tale-of-two-fathers
Buy Links
Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B08WYY2LC5
Apple: https://books.apple.com/us/book/a-tale-of-two-fathers/id1554679988
Kobo: https://www.kobo.com/ca/en/ebook/a-tale-of-two-fathers
Smashwords: https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/1073738
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The Sea Meets the Sky
Bloodlines Vol. 4
Daphne finally found a home, a family, somewhere she belongs. And she’s about to risk it all.
After discovering a mole in the pack, Daphne makes the choice to bring it to the Alpha’s attention, and that’s where it all comes to a head. Killian is your typical ruthless Alpha, and he hasn’t been subtle about his distrust of her.
It isn’t until disaster strikes that Daphne not only proves that she isn’t a liar, but also how much of an asset she can be. One he will desperately need as war, betrayal, and death threaten to demolish his pack.
Heads will roll and sparks will fly as the pair work together to keep everyone around them alive and everything he’s built from crumbling to ashes.
Volume 4 of the Bloodlines Series
**Only .99 cents!!**
Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/57187166-the-sea-meets-the-sky
Buy Links
Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B08X7HSG6N
Apple: https://books.apple.com/us/book/the-sea-meets-the-sky/id1555087102
Kobo: https://www.kobo.com/ca/en/ebook/the-sea-meets-the-sky
Smashwords: https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/1073739
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Northern Fire
Bloodlines Vol. 5
Daphne’s past is about to destroy her future.
She’s been labeled a traitor, thrown in prison, and ultimately banished for a crime she has no knowledge of. After risking everything to help Killian, accusing her of being a spy is how he repays her.
She knows so little about her past, but she finally has a nugget of information that could help. A key player that could give her long-awaited answers, someone she’s been searching for since the beginning of her journey.
He’s the one who started all of this.
Now Daphne’s going to end it.
Volume 5 of the Bloodlines Series
**Only .99 cents!!**
Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/57215127-northern-fire
Buy Links
Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B08XMJHGX6
Apple: https://books.apple.com/us/book/northern-fire/id1555631382
B&N: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/northern-fire-emily-s-hurricane/1138900988?ean=2940165351419
Kobo: https://www.kobo.com/ca/en/ebook/northern-fire-2
Smashwords: https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/1073741
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ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Emily hails from rural Nova Scotia, curled up on a tree stump with a bubblegum pink notebook and a steaming mug of french roast coffee. She is a thirtysomething mom of a toddler and a furbaby. Her lumbersexual husband doesn’t actually work in lumber anymore, but he still wears the plaid and the beard.
When she’s not writing and/or momming, she’s sipping espresso, crocheting, and listening to audiobooks. She’s an established freelance writer and editor.
Author Links
Website: https://www.Emilyshurricane.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/EmilySHurricane
Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/ESHurricane
Instagram: http://www.Instagram.com/ESHurricane
Bookbub: https://www.bookbub.com/authors/emily-s-hurricane
Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Emily-S-Hurricane/e/B07K7TN68B
Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/18595215.Emily_S_Hurricane
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GIVEAWAY
$25 Amazon gift card, a signed postcard, and a Bloodlines coffee mug – 1 winner!
Follow the tour HERE for special content and a giveaway!
https://www.silverdaggertours.com/sdsxx-tours/bloodlines-book-tour-and-giveaway
~~ 🕮🕮 ~~ HOSTED BY:~~ 🕮🕮 ~~
Silver Dagger Book Tours: https://www.silverdaggertours.com/
And now, my reviews for books 1-3!
My Review: The Beginning of the EndThis was such a fun apocalyptic story. I really loved watching her navigate the decrepit world. The dirtbike and smashing into convenience stores, it all felt very grounded and realistic. My favorite part of the book was the descriptions. The “white hot” pain she feels when she breaks her bones, the description of her slamming into the pine tree, the green hot dogs stagnating in a convenience store display. The descriptions were so vivid and made the book incredibly atmospheric.
I love the way the author blended the paranormal and post-apocolyptic genres. I also loved the main character’s crow friend and the running dialogue she keeps going with the crow throughout her adventuress. through it all, I felt like I was right there with her, in the library, traveling across the country, when she breaks her bones on the abandoned highway.
This was a book that kept my attention from start to finish. Such a fun and gripping read.
My Review: Southern IceThis second installment in the Bloodlines novella series was even better than the first! It was super exciting, watching Daphne get to know the other wolves and figure out her place in the pack. This was a true “road of trials” portion of a story, complete with all the “allies, enemies, and tests.” To be honest, she doesn’t explicitly have any enemies yet, but there are certain wolves that she has more tension with than the rest.
There are enough conflicts and subplots in this novella to keep everything very exciting and interesting. These include: Daphne’s trial period, Daphne’s ambition to “rise through the ranks of the pack”, Daphne’s tryst with Patrick, Daphne working in the kitchen, Daphne wanting to start a garden, Daphne being asked to help out with fishing, and Daphne struggling to change into her wolf form. Each of these sub-plots weave in and out of one another, all adding to the larger plot. The main plot thread being Daphne searching for who she is and her place in the world.
This is an exciting, nuanced, fun, and at time, sexy story about found family and discovering who you are in a chaotic and ephemeral world.
This is a book that says so much about leadership. It says so much about power. In this book, power is not only a reward, but a burden. It’s a burden to carry. It’s a weighty responsibility. And yes, it comes with some perks, but ultimately it is a grueling and lonely job.
This is a short novella that packs in so many tough themes. We have themes of grief and themes of guilt. Themes of family, identity, and healing from trauma.
I loved the decision to use a completely new POV for the 3rd book in this series. We get this entirely new storyline and we get to see the Bloodlines world through a new set of eyes. Killian is a haunted soul and one that I felt so connected to.
He struggles under the burden of being of alpha. Yet he needs his pack. They need him and he needs them and it is a beautiful symbiotic relationship. This entire novella could be an allegory for power exchange and the complicated dynamics of leadership and submission.
The visceral ways the different bonds of the pack are described were just incredibly. I loved how the bonds are described as something so physical, knocking Killian off his feet, tearing into his ribs. And there is the way the bonds of his different betas feel different to him, the bond of his original beta like braided rope and the bond of Aselin like silk. It was this level of detail and the blending of the emotional with the physical that really adds a layer of depth and nuance that I’ve never seen done in the werewolf genre before.
This is a breathtaking world with complicated characters.
Another great ending hook! I can’t wait to jump right into book 4!
(Also, the length of the books is perfect. It’s so nice to be able to tear through each novella so quickly, and even with each book being so short, a LOT of meat is packed into them: I’m talking plot, character development, werewolf mythos, all of it).
I’m about to move onto book four and my review will be posted shortly. I was also lucky enough to receive an arc of the audiobook for book one. So now I’ll get to review the audiobook version of ‘The Beginning of the End’ as well as the ebook version.
All of that coming soon!
In the meantime, be sure to enter the giveaway Emily Hurricane is running and check out the series if you love werewolves, apocalyptic stories, or any stories with themes of found family and figuring out one’s place in the world.
GIVEAWAY
$25 Amazon gift card, a signed postcard, and a Bloodlines coffee mug – 1 winner!
Follow the tour HERE for special content and a giveaway!
https://www.silverdaggertours.com/sdsxx-tours/bloodlines-book-tour-and-giveaway
~~ 🕮🕮 ~~ HOSTED BY:~~ 🕮🕮 ~~
Silver Dagger Book Tours: https://www.silverdaggertours.com/
What Are Delusions Like?
So, this is something a couple of people have asked me about. I definitely don’t mind questions like that.
I mean, I still feel REALLY weird that I’m just out and talking about this stuff openly.
For years, I didn’t even openly discuss this stuff with my husband. The guy that has had to sit and calmly explain to me that shadow people aren’t real and deal with me not sleeping for days until I’m more and more agitated. We just used phrases like “having a moment” or I was “having trouble with weird ideas.”
Yeah, it’s definitely weird to just be out and talking about this stuff. It’s something I spent a really long time deeply ashamed of.
Let’s be real, does anybody talk about the psych patients with psychosis symptoms when people get out here talking about “mental health awareness.” Not really. People talk about depression and anxiety and all of the very mainstream normie mental health issues.
The response to me openly admitting I have these problems has overall been pretty positive. Other writers that have known me online for years seem a bit surprised, but that’s fine. Nobody has started treating me like I’m not a real person or like my thoughts and feelings don’t matter, or dismissing everything I do. See, that’s how I was treated by the mental health industry and that’s how I was treated by my family. I didn’t want to be treated like I’m not a real person. I didn’t want people to do this thing my family did, where anything I feel is wrong because I have a mental health problem.
As weird as it is for me, knowing at any point an idea I get could be a delusion, I understand it must also be weird for the people who talk to me. I understand that people sometimes have to take what I’m saying with a grain of salt, because, well, it might be some shit I made up in my head. I have a couple of writer friends who really dealt with that whole weirdness perfectly. See I always had the ‘something is out to get me’ type of delusion. Out of left field, my delusions just up and switched genres. I got hit with the ‘loved from afar’ delusion. I didn’t recognize it as a delusion because I never had one like that before. It’s a pretty common one for people who suffer from delusions. It’s just never been in MY repertoire until now. Anyway, a couple of my writer friends managed to point out to me my perceptions were off and I was both behaving erratically and having a disproportional emotional reaction to external events, and they were able to point that out to me without making me feel like a bad person or like something was wrong with me. to be honest, I was sort of a shitty person in this situation. There is the mental health issue and then there’s just me being an asshole. The way I responded to that delusion isn’t a mental health thing; it’s just me behaving like a selfish asshole. Like crazy aside, as a married person, you get hit with the delusion that some stranger who has barely talked to you is your soulmate, the only appropriate way to handle that is to cease contact and go confess everything immediately to your partner. I did the latter but only after all my weirdness had been noticed. Then I felt guilty, cut contact and went and confessed everything. So…yeah, mentally ill, but also an asshole.
Anyway, that last one really knocked me off my feet for a minute. I’ve gotten very good at recognizing that I’m having a ‘something is out to get me’ delusion.
Now all I need is a good ‘grandiose ideas of one’s self’ and I think I get schizoaffective bingo.
(No idea if I actually have that-it’s one of many diagnoses thrown at the wall over the years).
Well….anyway, this is weird. You spend so much time trying to cover something up, then decide, ‘fuck it, this is my brand now.’ I guess there’s no going back now. People know I have a lot of problems…..awesome. Like I want to talk about and am also deeply uncomfortable talking about it.
So, what are delusions?
Are they hallucinations? No
People with delusions don’t have sensory stuff. It’s really just weird ideas. A hallucination is you see, hear, feel, or smell things that aren’t there. You don’t have that with delusions. You don’t sense anything that isn’t there.
It’s more like you see and hear everything that a normal person would, but you form conclusions based on what you see and hear that don’t make sense.
Someone asked me “Is this like the people who think the FBI is bugging their house?”
Yes. It’s exactly like that.
I’ve never had the FBI thing, but I can really relate to the people who have that one, because I’ve had very similar stuff. I’ve freaked myself out thinking I’m being followed or thinking hackers have gotten into my computer and are watching me through the camera. I’ve covered the camera and microphone of my devices with duct tape. I’ve had days I’m so freaked out i’m watching what I say, because I’m convinced hackers are listening through the computer microphone.
You don’t need a lot of evidence for your brain to create a delusion if you have that problem.
My evidence for ‘someone is following me’ was simply that I lived in a very rural area and three nights in a row, there was a car behind me for part of my drive home. It was definitely unusual to have a car behind me three nights in a row. I lived on a mountain on a dirt road. But instead of just thinking ‘how weird’ and moving on, my brain went to ‘I’m being followed.’
When my car had issues a few months later, my brain jumped to ‘whoever was following me months ago messed with my car.’
So obviously this is all absurd. But when you’re in that crazy brain moment, it feels VERY real. It’s very scary. And when people become frustrated and won’t talk to you about your delusions, it gets even scarier, because it’s like you’re trapped in this awful scary thing alone. Yeah….this was definitely an influence on my book ‘Combustion.’ I wanted to show how isolating fear is when it comes from a delusion.
What always helps me is people who talk me through the delusion and point out why it doesn’t make sense. I know Dr.Phil has done some not great things, but one thing I always liked about him is how he talks to patients with delusions. He often says, “Does that make common sense to you?”
It sounds dumb, but someone patiently pointing out that your thought process doesn’t make sense often does a LOT to snap you out of it. When people would become angry or frustrated or laugh at me, this would amp me up more.
I mainly live a totally normal life having this problem. People usually can’t tell there’s anything off about me. In fact, I worked in a professional role, a real “career” if you will, from 2018-2020. I quit this past summer, because I realized with all the problems I have, it wasn’t responsible for me to continue working in that role. I never should have gone into that field. I was working with a vulnerable population. As much as I liked it, I knew the right thing to do was quit. I went back to retail.
I’m a flooring specialist for a big box store. I was a manager for this same company years ago.
Not only do I function out in the world without issue a good deal of the time, but in certain environments, I thrive. I’m good at problem-solving and coming up with creative solutions. So many problems can come up with flooring installs. I think this is where my disjointed thought process helps me. I can quickly come up with solutions that didn’t occur to other people.
I’m great in a fast-paced environment with a lot going on. I’m good at calming down upset customers (although I get more rattled than the average person if they raise their voice or insult me).
Like, most people with delusions, you would probably never know there is an issue. I’m very good at hiding it. I assume others are too.
Other problems I have aside from the delusions are major depressive episodes, fixating/obsessive tendencies, and a lot of suicidal ideation. I fantasize about suicide a ton.
Most mental illnesses with psychosis symptoms are comorbid with major depressive episodes and thoughts of suicide.
The depression is much harder to function with than the delusions. Of course, delusions and a serious depressive episode usually go hand-in-hand.
Anyway, therapy and medication didn’t do anything for me. All of the medication made me a lot worse. My psychosis symptoms were a lot worse.
Here are the things that have actually helped me:
A purpose-everybody needs a purpose in life. For me, writing books and keeping busy has been the best way to mitigate mental illness symptoms. The only book that ever worsened my symptoms was my book ‘Incel.’ So that’s why I scrapped it. I probably should have realized that one emotionally unstable person fucking around and interacting with other emotionally unstable people was a recipe for disaster. But my other books, my time travel romances and my horror stories, they gave me a deeply fulfilling sense of purpose and gave me a positive outlet to direct a lot of my negative emotion.
Volunteering-years ago I volunteered for hospice. I did this during the time in my life when I was still on a revolving door in and out of mental hospitals. It made me focus on something outside of myself, and it lessened a lot of my symptoms, kept me feeling a lot better.
Reading-reading books is a very calming activity. Television and youtube is made to hold your attention, and can be very noisey and fast-paced and colorful, so sometimes can make you feel more agitated.
Avoiding the things I know will upset me-I’ve been alive long enough now to know MOST of the things that will cause me to have an episode. I can’t watch movies where people have hallucinations or severe mental health issues. I’d actually REALLY warn anybody with delusions not to watch the movie ‘Donnie Darko.’ I’m not a trigger warning fan, but I’ll say that movie should have a trigger warning for those with mental illnesses. Just watching that movie sent me into the worst episode of psychosis I’ve ever had. I also can’t hear about animal abuse. I can’t hear about people being starved or tortured. These topics always send me off the deep end.
And lastly, I can not deal with people talking about paranormal stuff as if it is 100% real. This one is probably because my mom spent a good chunk of my childhood carrying on about ghosts and demons, and she told me I had an attachment haunting. This is when a person, rather than a place, is haunted. I can’t know for sure, but I speculate having my primary caregiver as a kid fuck with my sense of reality on a regular basis is probably why I still struggle with delusions today.
I actually have a story about trying to shut down a conversation I knew could cause an episode, but it was an work, so I was trying to shut it down without revealing I have mental health issues.
A coworker of mine was talking about ghosts and a house she lived in that was haunted. My go to is usually, “Oh, I don’t believe in any of that stuff.”
Also, we worked with kids (can you see why I quit?) and I didn’t like seeing an adult talk about ghosts around kids, because of my own history.
She kept arguing that ghosts were real. I tried multiple times to say things like, “I don’t really like to talk about this stuff. It’s just not my thing.”
I was worried both for myself and the kids we worked with.
So, if anybody takes anything from that story: Please only talk about the paranormal with people who are comfortable talking it. You have no idea what sorts of mental health issues people might be hiding.
The shadow people delusion was triggered when I took a job writing for a paranormal blog. It was good pay and a unique job that I thought might reflect well on my professional writing portfolio. At the time, my husband was worried about me taking the job. As he should have been, because after a few weeks of researching for articles and seeing people talk about how shadow people are 100% real, I had a major episode and couldn’t sleep for several days.
That was a time when I didn’t do what I should have. I now realize I absolutely can’t be engaged in discussions about the paranormal. I always go into it feeling like I have more control than I do. Then I go off the deep end and it feels horrible.
Lastly, what has been more helpful than anything is not being afraid to cut people from my life. I cut my family off. My mom and my grandfather. This has been difficult at times. People who know nothing about the situation will sometimes pipe up with such gems as “You only have one mom!” or “forgive and forget. Life is too short to hold grudges.” It’s not holding a grudge. It’s trying to protect myself. I have been through it enough times to know that my family makes me mentally unwell. Being around them makes me feel unsafe and on edge, and being anxious or stressed is a good way to bring an episode on. Not to mention, my mom STILL to this day, maintains that I have an attachment haunting. I can’t be around that.
To wrap up, what are delusions like?
For me usually scary, although this last one was upsetting in a brand new way. They are embarrassing. You don’t want people to know you have them, because you don’t want people to think less of you. They make you feel powerless, because you can’t even trust your own perceptions.
The times that I’ve successfully staved off a delusion were when I said to myself, “This isn’t real. Stop being scared, because it’s not real.” And then I waited out the emotional part of it, while I just kept telling myself, “this isn’t real. It’s your brain tricking you. It’s not real.”
