Hillary Daecher's Blog, page 5

Rejection in Publishing

Writing is a very personal and subjective profession to dive in to. It is also one with a high rate of rejection. As I stated in a previous post, 90% of submission queries are rejected. It is very difficult to keep hearing “no thank you” or “your writing style isn’t for me.” It definitely makes you question your ability as a writer, and whether it is worthwhile to keep pursuing the dream.

However, if you really believe in yourself and your writing skills, it also emboldens you to edit and rewrite and edit again until the story is complete. Below are a few examples of rejections I received when shopping my book to agents. Everyone was very kind in their responses and encouraged me to keep trying, but to be honest, it is difficult to keep hearing “no thank you.” It starts to weigh you down.

“Thanks so much for giving me a shot at your picture book.  I’m sorry to say that I wasn’t connecting wholeheartedly with your writing, despite its poise and polish, so I ought to step aside, but I truly appreciate the look, and I wish you the best of luck!”

“I don’t handle rhyme. Good luck.”

“Thank you very much for your query.  After careful consideration, I’ve decided that this project is not for me.  However, I encourage you to continue to seek representation, as this industry is a subjective one, and just because this doesn’t feel right for me, doesn’t mean it won’t click with another agent.  Thanks again for taking the time to reach out to me about it.”

All of these no’s, plus the others sitting in my email, are part of the publishing process which is scary. It is very difficult to sacrifice time away from your family to pursue something you’ve dreamed about and worked on for years. It is important to surround yourself with people who encourage you and believe in you to help make the dream come true. Some of the most encouraging people were my readers. Even though they were critiquing my work, they were coming from a place of encouragement, and a true belief that I could accomplish my goal.

When I realized I could submit directly to the publisher, instead of shopping my book to agents, I felt a sense of optimism that had been dormant for quite a while. As I said, all of that rejection takes a toll. However, when I mailed the submission to Schiffer Publishing, I felt I was exactly where I needed to be at that moment in my life. I had found an amazing illustrator, Angie Hohenadel, who captured Ramone beautifully, and I felt the story I was telling was strong and one people could connect with. Luckily, Schiffer Publishing felt the same way. It was amazing to see the following quote from our contact at Schiffer and realize all of the hard work and sacrifice had paid off.

“Your proposal has finally made it to my desk. Everyone along the way who saw it fell in love with it…”

If you are pursuing your dream of writing or any dream and have heard “no” too many times to count, my advice is to put yourself back out there. It is scary and difficult to be rejected, but the day that dream comes true and an industry professional realizes your potential enough to give you a contract, it is worth every sacrifice and tear shed. Best of luck to all of you pursuing your dream, whatever it may be.

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Tools for Dealing with Anxious Children

As many parents know, anxiety in children can create a stressful environment for everyone in the house, not just the child experiencing the anxiety. As parents, we want to provide our children with a safe, stress-free environment all of the time and may unknowingly be making the anxiety worse. By avoiding anything that causes anxiety, children will never be given the tools and the opportunity to work through their anxious feelings and face whatever obstacle causes this reaction.

I recently came across this interesting article written by Clark Goldstein, PhD from the Child Mind Institute focusing on “What To Do (And Not DO) When Children Are Anxious.” It provides tools parents can use to help their children work through their anxiety and face the obstacles holding them back. I highly recommend this article for anyone struggling with an anxious child.

 

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Ways to Manage Your Child’s Anxiety

 

Did you know anxiety is the most common emotional problem in kids? They can develop disabling worries about numerous topics that range from germs they can pick up to pressures in school. Every child displays anxiety in his or her own way and sometimes it is hard to see. Some kids mask their anxiety at school and then meltdown when they get home because they exhausted their energy “keeping it together” all day.

As parents, it is sometimes frustrating to understand why a child is anxious, especially if we feel it isn’t really a big deal. However, in the child’s mind, whatever is creating the anxiety is a big deal to them and it is our responsibility to help guide them through it as best we can. Depending on the child, this guidance can take many forms, for instance letting the child work through it on their own is an option or letting them write down or color their feelings is another. However, if it is causing great distress, trying to understand things from their perspective is helpful. You may not always agree with their rationale, but helping to understand their perspective may give you ideas on ways to help them work through their feelings.

If you are looking for a good resource to help manage your child’s anxiety, please visit the Child Mind Institute for more information. An interview with Renee Jain, a life coach and someone who struggled with anxiety as a child may provide you with valuable insight. In it, Renee discusses the benefits of teaching children how to live in the present and be mindful, helping to reduce their anxiety.

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Creating Ramone’s Story

The idea of Ramone began in September 2014 after jotting down a few lines of rambling, rhyming text. Over the years, these few lines would be revised numerous times in the hopes of creating a story worthy of being published.

The story of Ramone was not my first attempt at writing a children’s picture book. I had another story sitting on the shelf unfinished when Ramone began to take shape, but more about writer’s block in another post. As the rambling text began to morph into an actual story, I realized I needed another set of eyes to help me find the holes within the story.

My first instinct was to contact my kindergarten teacher, Miss Cathy Gust, to ask if she would provide constructive criticism on where the manuscript stood. Afterall, she was a phenomenal kindergarten teacher and winner of the Pennsylvania State Teacher of the Year in 1989. Lucky for me, she was more than happy to read the story and provide feedback. I am not sure how many revisions she has gone through with me, but I do remember the day she wrote and said she thought it was finished. What an amazing sense of accomplishment I felt! To this day she is still a sounding board on my other stories and a trusted resource that helped make this dream come true.

With this sense of accomplishment and a finished story, what next? How exactly does one go about getting a story published? Publishing is a very difficult business to break into and be successful. The number of rejection letters can start to take a toll; after all, 90% of query letters are rejected daily, and I’ve experienced my share of rejection letters and kept each one.

I created and sent query letters to children’s book agents, hoping if I got an agent, they would represent me at the publishing houses. In some cases, my query letter was never replied to at all because the agent just wasn’t interested. My spreadsheet tracked each and every “not interested” which caused me to doubt my ability and whether I could make this dream a reality.

There were times when life got too busy so I would take a break from the book submission process and set it to the back burner. After all, I had a job that actually helped pay the bills, a husband, and two kids who I wanted to enjoy spending time with. Sometimes after months of doing nothing with the book, I would submit new queries and wait for the response, which was always a “no.”

In 2018 I found out from a family friend, Chuck Rineer, author of Wolf Sanctuary: The Wolves of Speedwell Forge, that I could submit directly to the publisher instead of trying to find an agent to represent me. I had no idea this was possible and it revived my determination to make this dream a success. Chuck’s book had been published by Schiffer Publishing and suggested I review the requirements for submission and give it a try. After realizing I needed illustrations and a storyboard for the submission requirements, I was on the hunt for an illustrator.

Through a mutual acquaintance, I was introduced to Angie Hohenadel. We met at a local coffee shop and I pitched my story about Ramone. Angie connected to the story and asked for a few days to come up with some sketches. After receiving her sketches of Ramone and a layout of where the story could go visually, I contacted Angie and we started generating everything necessary for the submission. Our book proposal was delivered to Schiffer Publishing on October 18, 2018. One week later we heard from our contact at Schiffer that the team loved the book and they were planning on discussing it at the acquisitions meeting. Needless to say, I was completely overwhelmed by the possibility of someone wanting to publish Ramone’s story. By November 1, 2018 we were told Schiffer Publishing wanted to offer us a book contract! Blown Away!

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Pursuing a Dream of Writing

Wife. Mother. Daughter. Sister. Friend. Writer. Dreamer. Optimist.

As they say in The Greatest Showman, “This is me.” I am more than the words above, but these words are my core and represent everything that matters in my world. Each of these roles makes me the person I am today, and I value all of the ways others have helped me turn my Dreamer part into the published Writer part.

I have always been a Dreamer and a Writer, but now they are coming together in ways I only dreamed about as a child. When I was in my Daughter and Sister phase, I would write poems and stories in a spiral-bound notebook I kept by my bed. I was always jotting down rhyming texts — some rhymes were good and others were terrible — but I loved every minute of it. I loved growing up, being young, and being a Daughter and a Sister.

Of course, I am still both of those things, but in a different way now that I am an adult. Fortunately, my path allowed me to meet remarkable people along the way, who enriched my life tremendously. I take the responsibility of Friend very seriously. I think it is a great honor to have someone share their secrets and fears with you in the hope that you will reciprocate those same feelings. Being a Friend is a great gift.

However, above all, I value being a Wife and a Mother. The best decision I EVER made in my life is saying, “Yes!” to my husband when he asked me to marry him. My husband is my partner and my biggest fan, encouraging me and supporting me in my Dream to pursue Writing. My role as Mother is possibly the most amazing thing that has ever happened to me. My children inspire me daily to reach for the stars and allow me to Dream bigger and to keep that Optimism I had as a child.

It is a combination of all of these roles and the people who have made an impact that has allowed me to keep pushing and stay Optimistic to pursue the Dream of Writing. It has led me to the most amazing place in my life where I can really say, “Dreams Do Come True.”

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