Hillary Daecher's Blog, page 4

Personal Goals – Go After Them

Last weekend my lifelong dream of publishing a book came true. Yes, I know I signed a book contract almost two years ago, so in that sense it had come true, but to hold the physical book in my hands was more than I ever thought it could be. In fact, it was downright overwhelming.

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I knew that once I received my hard copy of SOAR, I would be overjoyed, but the emotions just poured out of me and I couldn’t hold back the happy tears. With my copy of SOAR sitting next to me as I write this, I realize those tears were more than happy ones. They were tears for all of the time I missed with my family to pursue this dream; they were tears for the frustrating periods when I thought I should give up; they were tears for all of the times I was rejected by book agents; but mostly they were tears because even after all of that, I had reached my goal and the feeling was amazing. I honestly don’t know if I can compare it to anything else that has ever happened in my life.

Don’t get me wrong, I have two amazing kids and a wonderful husband, but there is something to be said for reaching personal goals. The dream of becoming a writer is something inherent in my being since I was a child. And while I share so many wonderful dreams with my family, this one was just for me since it had been mine from the beginning. Of course, they supported me and encouraged me when I was frustrated with the process, but it was something I used to fantasize about as a child and now it has finally come true.

SOAR isn’t just a story about a hummingbird overcoming his fears and anxiety, it is also my story and just as Ramone reached his goal, I have reached mine as well and the feeling is amazing. I encourage everyone to take hold of your inherent gifts and pursue what you truly love, the payoff is amazing and the journey is more than worth it.

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Changing Course

Recently I sent a manuscript I had been working on during COVID-19 and the stay-at-home order to my most trusted reader Cathy Gust. During the writing process I felt like I had a good story to tell, and an interesting main character that children will find relatable.

The story wasn’t complete, it was definitely in the early stages, but I wanted feedback to see if I was on the right path. I felt like the idea of the story was great, but something was off — well, I was right. Cathy came back with some insightful and honest commentary that made me realize the book was too sad to be a children’s book. Not realizing it during the time, my feelings of uncertainty about the current state of the world had made its way onto the page. So, I started rewriting the story and changing the tone, all the while still trying to tackle another obstacle children face as they grow up. It didn’t work. I couldn’t get the story to flow. I ended up putting it on the back burner, and started typing another story idea that had been brewing instead.

This new story flowed onto the page and after months of trying to push a story that wasn’t working, this felt natural and really good. I told my husband, “My creative juices are overflowing!” as the words came together on the page. Of course, not everything I typed was perfect or even close to it, but I felt a sense of energy and excitement that I haven’t felt for a while as I began a new journey with my main character.

After a few hours of uninterrupted writing, immersing myself in a different world, I have one-third of a very rough draft of a story I am eager to continue and see where it leads. The energy and excitement around this new manuscript is keeping me up at night scribbling ideas on a pad beside my bed. The writing process can be very hot or cold. And even when you think it’s hot and a story is coming together, looking back, it might not be the story you want to tell.

With that said, my COVID-19 script will stay on the shelf until I can come back, revise it, and create the story that is in my head in a voice I want children to connect to. Until then, I am changing course and throwing all of my energy into this new project because it feels like the right path for me at this time. It just goes to show, even as I pursue this writing career, I need to be flexible and listen to my inner voice because it might be leading me to something truly amazing. I encourage all of you to readjust, and be flexible as you follow your own dreams.

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Reading Resources for Parents and Children

Did you know more than 675 million print books were sold in the United States in 2018? Of course, this number from Statista covers all printed books sold, not just children’s picture books, but that represents an amazing number of Americans reading which is wonderful news. However, how do you know if the children’s book you purchased is a good one, or how can you find a book to help guide your child through their own emotions or life experience?

Two of my favorite go-to sites for recommendations and tips on children’s books are Read Brightly and Happily Ever Elephants. Both sites show a devotion to reading, and instilling a love of reading in children. A broad range of topics are highlighted on each site, and provide parents and kids with activities and tips to help immerse them in the reading experience even further. Both sites feature books on current topics while still paying tribute to classic and timeless stories.

If you are in need of a reliable place to search for books related to what is happening in your child’s life or the world around us, both of these resources are terrific. After all, books are a wonderful opportunity for children to relate what is happening in real life to what is happening in the story. Best of luck finding your child’s next favorite book!

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How to gain insight to your child’s feelings

Let’s face it, the world as we know it has completely turned upside down. The sense of normalcy we all are used to has stopped for the time being, and while parents understand the reasons behind it, do our kids?

In the blink of an eye everyday life stopped. School closed. Playdates cancelled. Family visits ceased. The only people children are seeing in person are their immediate families. Sure, they Zoom with classmates, friends, and family, but what are they really feeling about this monumental life change? Even though they may not be able to express it, many children are dealing with anxiety on a new level or possibly for the first time ever.

“Our job as parents isn’t to provide certainty in a time of uncertainty. Our job is to help kids tolerate the uncertainty,” explains Jerry Bubrick, PhD, a clinical psychologist at the Child Mind Institute.

Even though children may not fully comprehend what is going on, they hear the news, see it on social media, and hear parents discussing COVID-19. Unlike most other life situations, parents don’t have the answer to this one, and the not knowing is scary.

“We want to teach them how to tolerate not knowing. You should let them explain how they’re feeling and why, and you can help them validate those feeling by saying things like, ‘I have similar worries. Let’s brainstorm ideas on how we can make things better.’ Instead of just giving answers, you want to have a conversation and compare notes,” says Dr. Bubrick.

The Child Mind Institute has great conversation starters for you to use in order to touch base and really get a pulse on how your kids are feeling.

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What’s the Next Big Idea?

As I mentioned in a previous post, SOAR is not the first book I’ve written. I was in the middle of writing what I hope will become my next published story when the idea for SOAR came about. At the time I was dealing with a massive case of writer’s block, so it seemed like a good idea to put the story on the backburner and leave it there for a while until I figured out what wasn’t working.

At the completion of SOAR, I brushed off the cobwebs, reread my initial manuscript, and sent it to a few trusted readers for feedback on the missing link, because I still couldn’t figure it out. After some very insightful comments, I had one of the those “aha” moments and the words started flowing. Of course, the rhymes didn’t always work, but getting the idea down with the flow of the story was more important at the time. Revising and editing the 15th or 16th version came later and is much more time consuming.

At this time, the story is complete and I feel really good about the end result. I have passed it on to my trusted illustrator, Angie Hohenadel, because I know she has the vision to bring the story to life through her illustrations in a way parents and children will love. I have seen a rough sketch, and was blown away by her uncanny talent for capturing my characters. I am excited to see her final product for the book submission process because that is the next step.

While I have one book contract under my belt, I still need to put myself out there for a book publisher to say “Yes” to publishing this next story which I have poured months into writing and creating. I feel more confident this time around in my writing ability, and the story I have composed. The subject of the book is near and dear to my heart, and a topic that kids and parents alike can relate to, no matter how old or young they are. I can’t give away too much, but I know it is a story that will guide children through amazing worlds to help them become stronger through the power of love.

Since we are still finalizing the book submission, I have no idea when I will know for sure if this manuscript is a go, but I will keep you posted along the way. Wish me luck in this next endeavor, and I wish you the courage to go after your dream, whatever it may be.

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Goals for SOAR

With three months until my first published book is officially available, it has me thinking what are my goals for SOAR? When can I say I feel it is a success? As I mentioned in a previous post, the publishing process is very scary and includes a lot of rejection, but if you believe in yourself, you will achieve your goals.

I think the first measure of success on this journey was when Schiffer Publishing called to say they wanted to offer me a book contract! I mean let’s be honest, all writers work tirelessly to create a story that will resonate with people, and in order to get there the story needs to be published. I felt I had accomplished my goal when I signed the book contract because it solidified that all of the time spent away from my family was worth the sacrifice.

However, now that I am on this journey, I realize that success doesn’t stop just because I got a book published. It has many levels and each one has a different goal in order to feel as if it was achieved. As I await my first run copies of the book, I recently reviewed my marketing spreadsheet and looked at the goals I submitted to the publisher and the first one listed is, “Ultimately, I want this book to become a family favorite that is read time and time again. If this book were to become part of a child’s happy memory as he or she grows up that would be the best reward.”

It would be the greatest honor to have children request SOAR night after night to their parents as their bedtime story. It would mean I did my job creating a loving character in Ramone that children relate to and love. It would mean I have hopefully helped create a dialogue about the anxiety and fear children deal with on a regular basis. It would mean Ramone’s emotional journey has resonated with parents and kids alike, and he has snuck his way into the hearts of many. This would be the greatest reward of all.

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Tips for Parents on How to Manage Family Anxiety

At this difficult time of uncertainty, anxiety is running high in kids and parents alike. Parents are managing extra stress in their careers by working from home or even worrying about the possibility of being laid off. Couple this with children suddenly moving to online school, and the deluge of news media, it is no wonder everyone’s anxiety is spiking.

I am not usually prone to anxiety, but in this time of uncertainty, I find myself more anxious than usual. And if I am anxious, that means my child with anxiety is also feeling that way — at a higher level than normal. How do we as parents model appropriate behavior to help our kids cope with the daily stresses of today’s world when we ourselves are anxious?

The Child Mind Institute clinicians have an amazing array of articles, videos and tools to help during this time of high stress. One article in particular caught my attention because it focuses on tools for not only children, but parents as well on how to navigate the current world we live in. We are definitely living day-to-day, and if we can create an environment for our children that is less stressful and anxious today than it was yesterday, then we are going to get through this together.

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The Publishing Process

It has been 16 months since I signed a book contract with Schiffer Publishing for SOAR, and while I am so excited to see the end result and have people read Ramone’s story, I am blown away by how much I have learned about the publishing process. As I begin the submission process for the next project in the pipeline, the knowledge I have gained these past months has been invaluable.

After our initial contract signing in November 2018, Angie only had seven months to complete the remaining 30 full-page illustrations for the book. The book submission guidelines only required Angie to sketch a storyboard of the entire book with text placement and one full color image of the main character. So, while she worked all day at her regular job as an art teacher at Warwick High School in Lititz, PA, she spent her evenings and weekends sketching and painting Ramone and his world. It was quite an undertaking to say the least.

While Angie was diligently sketching and painting, I was busy figuring out what came next — after all, the book was already written. Little did I know, there is a lot to do behind the scenes. Luckily Schiffer provides a guide book to authors explaining the different steps in the publishing process detailing what parts I am responsible for as the author, and what the publisher takes care of. I have read this guide book more times than I can count, but it is an invaluable resource as I work through this process for the first time.

Two of the major items on my to-do list were completing the New Book Description Form and the Marketing spreadsheet. These two items were essential to our final submission in July. The New Book Description Form included long descriptions for catalogs (125-250 words), bullet points for catalogs, along with short descriptions for the book jacket (50-125 words). As you can imagine, these descriptions were rewritten numerous times in order to get to the appropriate word count and also to create the best description possible for the book.

The next item on the list was the Marketing spreadsheet. This spreadsheet helped me narrow my focus and really think about my target audience, selling points of my book, what type of events would help sell the book, and how I would promote the book via social media. I also identified businesses, schools, media outlets, book reviewers and others that I would like to promote my book to, either for an event, publicity, a review, or potential sales. This spreadsheet is still a work in progress today as we get closer to the release of the book in July. I am constantly updating the spreadsheet with new ideas of places/people that may have an interest in SOAR.

Along with the New Book Description Form, Marketing spreadsheet, and checking in with Angie on her progress, I also had to format the text per the author guidelines. That’s where that guide book came into play once again. In order to format the text, I needed to follow specific style guides set up by the publisher and insert them into the text before each formatting change. Once this process was done, I sent the information off to my editor and waited for the next step in the process, which was our final submission in July.

After our final submission, there was a lull on our end since Schiffer had to scan all of Angie’s illustrations, upload them, and digitally retouch them. In September of 2019 the process started back up again when I received the edited, formatted text to create the galley. The galley is all of the formatted text I submitted in July with designated image insertion points for Angie’s illustrations. As part of the final submission process, Angie and I numbered each image which I inserted into the appropriate place in the story to create the galley.

Once the galley was completed, we waited to see a PDF of the final book put together with text and illustrations. In January of this year, we received a PDF of the final cover, book jacket, and inside pages of the complete book. It was such an amazing sight to see all of the pieces come together that Angie and I had worked so hard on. A few weeks later, on February 5, SOAR became available for pre-sale on Amazon.com and BarnesandNoble.com, I went crazy with excitement that morning when I first saw it. That same morning, we heard from our editor that we were able to promote SOAR ourselves, which is where I am currently at in the process.

The next big milestone is seeing the physical book from the first run. It will be a day I have dreamed about for years!

As for the next project, the manuscript is already written and Angie is in the process of capturing the essence of the main character, just like she did the first time around. We are taking everything we learned the first time around with SOAR and creating an even stronger submission for this next story.

 

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Children’s Anxiety during COVID-19

As we are all faced with the challenges of a “new normal” with COVID-19 sweeping the nation, I encourage everyone take a moment to try to focus on the positive side of the current situation. We find ourselves forced to slow down and stay inside which presents the opportunity to spend time with our children that we otherwise might not have. Let’s be honest, time goes quickly — too quickly.

My daughter recently celebrated her birthday and it was bittersweet. Watching her grow into an amazing young person full of care and kindness is a privilege, it also is a reminder that she will not be living here for many more years, so I’d better treasure the time I have, which includes the unexpected time we suddenly have on our hands.

I encourage parents to speak with your children about COVID-19 at a level they can relate to and understand. They know it is happening and even if they don’t know all of the details, it is better to give them some information so they don’t feel like they are in the dark and their anxiety spikes. If you need suggestions on the best way to speak with your kids about the current state of our world, the Child Mind Institute has great resources available for parents to cover all aspects of COVID-19.

More importantly, I encourage parents to turn off the news and sit down and play a board game, read a book, or just simply speak with your children about what they are thinking and feeling. Better yet, take a bike ride outside as a family, keeping in mind social distancing, and enjoy the weather and work off some stress. When your children look back on this unprecedented event in history, you want them to remember their parents being there, doing everything possible to enjoy life every day and making special memories during a moment in history that is extremely uncertain. Stay healthy and take care of yourself and your family.

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Changing Negative Thinking Patterns in Children

It is often said, “We are our own worst critic.” This statement is true for adults and kids alike, but sometimes children with anxiety and other mental health disorders can fall into the rabbit hole of negativity. This negative thinking can snowball and contribute to your child’s anxiety, depression, or even amplify their already overwhelming emotions.

Even though these negative thinking patterns are often unrealistic, they can have a large impact on how children express themselves, their mental well-being, and their view of the world around them. Mental health experts refer to this way of thinking as “cognitive distortions,” but it is also known as thinking errors or thinking mistakes.

Everyone is capable of having a bad day which makes them feel negatively toward the world or those around them. As Jeff DeRoche, a clinical worker at Child Mind Institute says, ““Some amount of cognitive distortion is normal. We all make thinking mistakes. It’s when that kind of thinking is chronic and entrenched that the thoughts are likely doing a number on a child’s emotional life. I’ve never seen someone suffering under the weight of any kind of behavioral health problem who isn’t making cognitive errors quite regularly.”

The Child Mind Institute has identified the 11 most common cognitive distortions children make in everyday life. For more information on these, along with tips on how to combat them, please visit the Child Mind Institute.

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