Sneha Jaiswal's Blog, page 292
June 22, 2020
Writing Vs Promoting
It’s been two days since my first fiction book ‘Love, Loss, Lockdown’ came out. And I know I should have focused my energy on promoting it in the last 48 hours, but instead, ended up posting two non-book reviews.
I have been so invested in the book for the last three months, and now that it’s out, there is just a massive sense of relief. It’s a short stories collection set against the Covid19 lockdown. And the initial response has been positive.
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The only little problem is – I wish I didn’t have to do any promotions. And that the book could somehow magically take care of itself. But those new to the publishing game learn this soon enough – writing the book is actually the easy part.
And while you think that after the first book, dealing with the first book would be easier, the truth is nowhere close to it. Funnily, despite poetry being a niche, at least it was easier to know who to target. With general fiction, things just get crazy difficult. There are both too many books and too many readers.
Any way, until I find myself a manager or something, gotta do the self-promotion thing. So if you are still with me, please grab a copy of “Love, Loss, Lockdown” and help support an independent author. Following are some country specific links –
If I’ve missed your country, look for it on Amazon or on your kindle store.
June 21, 2020
Love, Victor – Review
What happens when you watch a trailer on YouTube assuming it’s a film and like it, only to realize it is a series? You watch it anyway.
So I finished watching all ten episodes of the new series ‘Love, Victor’, which is a spin-off of the film ‘Love, Simon’. And it’s super cute. Too cute for comfort.
The adorable Michael Cimino plays Victor, a teen who has shifted to a new city with his family. He is hoping to start a new life and come out of the closet to embrace his sexuality. But instead, he decides it’s safe to go out with the sweetest girl on the campus – Mia.
I don’t understand why we are still making movies/series with the same damn plot – closeted gay guy tries to date a girl, claims he really loves her, only to realize his dick doesn’t agree. Sorry for the crass term. But I cannot think of a better way to write that!
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Despite the cliched, stale plot, ‘Love, Victor’, thanks to a charming cast, manages to keep the viewer hooked and interested in its story. Everything is justified neatly and believably. It’s a pretty breezy series, with none of the usual high-school excesses that other teen-themed productions usually succumb to. The bullying is very mild and the ‘drama’ is in acceptable degrees. The background score is very upbeat, catchy and in sync with the plot.
Every character has something redeemable about them. However, some of them are not fleshed out well. Like Victor’s gay crush Benji, played by George Sear. He doesn’t have a lot of screen-time and we are just given small cues to believe that he is a hottie with a golden heart. I loved the fact that there is no villain in this story. The only antagonists you will ever see on screen are the characters’ own insecurities.
Creators Isaac Aptaker and Elizabeth Berger manage to keep most things real but also play a little too safe. Which makes ‘Love, Victor’ a total fun family series. They end it with a BIG cliffhanger, so they better be a season two.
Axone – A New Whiff
Axone, pronounced ‘A-khoo-nay’, is a fermented soy dish that is consumed by North-East Indians. And Pork-Axone is apparently a very popular dish and a staple for special occasions.
This dish is the hero of a movie titled after it. Directed by Nicholas Kharkongor, the comic-drama focuses on a bunch of friends struggling to cook Pork-Axone for a wedding in their Delhi locality. Their problem is that most landlords are not fine with them cooking the dish as it releases a very pungent odor.
The movie is a breath of fresh air, with believable characters who are facing issues that are almost never addressed in mainstream Bollywood films – the racism & alienation north-east Indians face when they settle out of their home-states in the country.
Sayani Gupta plays Upasana, the lead actor, who is sweet, docile and does all she can to cook her best-friend’s favorite dish for her special day. I have seen Gupta in other films, and she really nails her role in this one. She immediately makes you feel compassion for her sweet character. Lin Laishram as her confident, supportive friend is pretty good too.
The supporting cast is endearing and I think some of them could have done really well with more screen space. This is not to say that the film is too short. It could have actually been a little shorter and the pacing was on the slower side. The director made it a bit of a drag by squeezing a sub-plot about a musician who had a dark past.
Axone has some really fun moments and gives us a glimpse into the every-day struggle of being a someone who is made to feel like an outsider in their own country. But more importantly, it’s a film celebrating friendships. You can stream this one on Netflix.
June 20, 2020
Love, Loss, Lockdown
‘What do smitten lovers, over-worked doctors, stubborn septuagenarians and gallant soldiers have in common? Probably not much. Except that shit can waltz into their lives any minute.’
This is how the blurb of my new book ‘Love, Loss, Lockdown’, a collection of ten short stories set in India, each offering a different slice of life. The only thread binding these tales is that, all of them unfold during the COVID-19 pandemic.
I started writing the book this March, just a little before the nationwide lockdown was announced in my country. Managed to finish it in three months thanks to Kartik Sudershan’s constant feedback. And Ashley Suvarna who helped edit it. Since I also happen to be an amateur artist, I illustrated the cover too.
Please grab a copy and help support an independent author. Following are some country specific links –
If I’ve missed your country, please just look for it on Amazon or on your kindle store.
June 19, 2020
Death & Darker Realms #13
“There is some comfort in the woods
Midst the trees that sway softly
In the eerie silence of the dark
broken oft by buzzing bugs
where such pleasures be now?”
First few lines from poem number thirteen in ‘Death & Darker Realms’. It’s about the sweet pleasures of walking through the wild as against the stifling nature of the concrete buildings we live in.
This poem makes me miss trips to my grandmother’s village. Makes me miss all the trips and treks we would go on before the pandemic shut us down. Makes me miss sitting out at pristine beaches, watching the stars, till the sun took over.
When was the last time you spent a night in the woods?
Also, if you are interested in discovering new poetry, please grab a copy of ‘Death & Darker Realms’ on Amazon. It’s a collection of 40 poems exploring death, depression & dysfunctional relationships.
Following are the links –
Please check your country’s Amazon if I haven’t listed it or just on your kindle/kindle app.
P.S. You can find me on Facebook, GoodReads and Instagram
June 18, 2020
Three Horrible Books
Saw a funny question online, that asked ‘if you had no choice but to burn three books that you have read, which ones would they be?’
The first book that comes to my mind is a fiction novel that I read when I was probably seventeen. The funny part is – I just cannot remember its name. But this is why I love my memory, it forgets horrible things.
Unknown Horrible Book – By Unknown English writer. So this book that I can’t remember was a novel that had been lying around in our house for a while. Not sure who it belongs to. And I remember how the book’s blurb was fantastic. Something about how ‘fate brings a British officer and an Indian girl together’. For some reason, my young mind imagined it would be an amazing romantic tale. It wasn’t. Even though the title has been forgotten, the plot is still fresh in my memory. It followed the story of a poor young girl, perhaps only ten, who was already engaged to somebody, even though she hadn’t even had her first period yet. Her father was a sweeper who cleaned toilets of a British barracks. So it was set in the colonial era India. While 70 per cent of the book focused on the individual lives of this British man and this little Indian girl. In the end, it was about how the girl had to go to the barracks to work one day because her father was sick. Still only 11 or 12 years old then, she goes to the barracks and then is raped by every soldier in the dorm. The other leading man was also present at the scene, and even though he didn’t want to, he is coaxed by his fellow soldiers to rape her. So he takes his turn and was the last person to do so. And she dies in the end, due to the brutalization. And he lives with the guilt. That’s it. That’s the story. I was scarred for a while and extremely disappointed by the story. It’s definitely the worst book I’ve ever read in my life. If you know what book I am talking about, please let me know in the comments.One Night At The Call Center – Chetan Bhagat. While I remember the title and author, thankfully, I don’t remember much of the plot. Something about an accident? And a call to God. What a load of forgettable crap. Second worst book I have read till date.Fifty Shades Of Grey – El James. I have a problem – once I start reading a book, I cannot stop. Too bad I didn’t know this was a trilogy. And also, this trilogy made me lose my faith in the ‘New York Times Bestseller’ list. I read the three books in 2012, the year the other two books had just come out. So the frenzy over the books hadn’t been as high and we had no idea what it was about. And I have nothing against the BDSM themes, my problem is with how LOUSILY it is written. A friend of mine read about it and got her hands on the copies of the books and shared them with me. While I read the first book entirely, many pages were skipped in book two and three. It was a nightmare. I would read horrible lines out loud for my hostel roommate and she would shout at me – “STOP TORTURING YOURSELF”. All the three books can be easily compressed into a 200 page novel. But James somehow managed to make it a torturous trilogy.
Can you think of three books that you would burn or get rid of? Maybe you could make a post out of it too. Tag me or link it back to me at the end if you don’t mind, I would love to read it.
10 Nations, 10 Gay Films
Since it’s pride month, here’s a little list of 10 gay films from 10 different countries that are worth watching. These are the first ten that came to my mind from the hundreds of LGBT films I’ve seen. Also, I tried to pick non-tragic, feel-good films, so all of them have happy endings. Almost.
Jongens (Boys) – Netherlands
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This 2014 film has to be one of the sweetest coming of age films ever made. It’s a laid-back movie that centers around 15-year-old Sieger, an athlete who finds himself falling in love with a fellow athlete over the summer.
First there is confusion, then the pangs of first love, then denial and finally the sweet music of acceptance. Watch it. Watch it. Watch it.
2. Maurice – United Kingdom
Before the 1999 film ‘Notting Hill’ came along and made Hugh Grant a worldwide heartthrob of sorts, he starred in the ground-breaking ‘Maurice’, a film that came out in 1987. Too early to be truly appreciated.
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I have always had a huge crush on Grant and was pleasantly surprised to see him play a closeted gay barrister in the Edwardian era. Being a homosexual was a punishable crime at the time, with devastating repercussions. James Wilby stars as Maurice, a stockbroker, who is torn about his sexuality after his lover (played by Grant) ends their romantic relationship for a cosy-married life. But love knocks at his door again, forcing him to re-evaluate his way of living.
3. Les Chansons d’amour (Love Songs) – France
This French musical doesn’t have very high ratings, but for some reason, I really like it. It has the handsome Louis Garrel in the lead, who is in a complicated relationship with his girlfriend. I will be honest, I had watched this film only because of him and had no idea it had any sort of LGBT themes.
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Set in Paris, the protagonists constantly break into romantic songs in their dream-like city. All the songs are written in a way that help carry the story forward. The pace is slightly slow but the story is earnest and believable, with a happy climax. I love the line it ends with – ‘love me less, but love me for a long time’. Something like that. While I saw this 2007 film long long ago, I still listen to some of its songs.
4. Alex Strangelove – U.S
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Most people would probably prefer putting a movie like ‘Love, Simon’ on a list like this. But for me, Alex Strangelove was more memorable. But both movies are sweet coming of age films, with the protagonists trying to accept their sexuality.
‘Alex Strangelove’ however is more fun, has cuter teen characters and perhaps stronger friendships. They are a bunch of really nice kids, unlike the usual assholes most teen dramas tend to have. There is no vicious bullying or toxic homophobia either.
5. The Way He Looks – Brazil
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So I am one of those people who had first seen the short film version of this movie, which was absolutely adorable. Fans literally made a petition for a longer movie and then got one.
‘The Way He Looks’ is a beautiful film about a visually challenged teenager trying to survive high school. The emphasis is on friendships, first-love and idyllic summers.
6. Doukyuusei (Classmates) – Japan
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How could I not pick an animated film from Japan to feature on a movie list? This 2016 film has a unique water-paint style, making it very dreamy and beautiful. It’s about how two teen boys, one a class topper and the other a popular member of a boy-band, fall in love.
While there is nothing special about the story-line, the makers manage to make it a memorable watch because of the way it is made. The lead characters are lovable and make the viewers root for them.
7. Center of my World – Germany
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I was slightly confused about including this 2016 film on the list, because it doesn’t have a conventional ‘happy ending’ and is filled is with dark themes. It explores family conflicts, mental health issues and alienation. Maybe the director tried achieving a little too much and ended making a bit of a muddle. But it’s still a good one time watch.
The story largely focuses on Phil, who crushes on his classmate Nicholas. Things surprisingly change for him when the good-looking athlete indicates his feelings are not one-sided. But soon, Phil would realize that relationships are never easy.
8. Happy Together – Hong Kong/China
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This 1997 Hong Kong film was way ahead of its time. You will probably love the no-nonsense approach it has towards the gay lead couple. There is no ‘confusion’ or ‘coming out’ conflicts here. The two heroes are already passionately in love, right from the first frame.
The plot here focuses on the highs and lows of being in an adult relationship, especially when both individuals are bull-headed men with their own set of problems. Again, despite its title, the movie doesn’t really have a ‘happy ending’. But is definitely an essential LGBT film that demands to be seen.
I saw this movie so long ago, but still remember the end.
9. Fathers – Thailand
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Thailand has become a boss-nation of LGBT media. Those guys keep churning out one gay series after another. Only problem is – they largely pander to teen girls who are obsessed with the concept of ‘boys love’. Just like how straight men tend to obsess over lesbians.
So ‘Fathers’, a 2016 drama about a gay couple raising an adopted son, is a breath of fresh air. It’s a lovely movie about the challenges gay couples face when they are bringing up an adopted child.
10. Shubh Mangal Zyaada Savdhan – India
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I thought I should end the list with a Bollywood film. ‘Shubh Mangal Zyaada Savdhan’ is a big budget gay romantic-comedy, the first of its kind made in India. While the movie has a lot of exaggerations for comic relief, it’s a fun movie that you would like to see on a Friday night.
The story centers around Aman, whose father accidentally finds out about him and his boyfriend. The rest of the movie attempts to tackle the unreasonable homophobia that plagues most Indian families. Best part – the boys are accepted for who they are.
And that’s a wrap on the list.
June 17, 2020
Undelivered Messages
Pop (message ring tone)
A: hey?
D : heyy! Sup?
A: hey hi! Sup? What doing?
D : nothing re. Chumma lying on bed.
A: ohhh! No office?
D: ya it’s there… I have to submit some shit that my manager has asked me. But I will do it later.
A: ooh ok.. Hehe… Sooo chumma lying on bed ah? Or watching something?
D: yeah was watching some clips of random English movies on YouTube.. Then kinda fell asleep.
A: aah.. Ok..
D: how are you? How is everyone? Where are you right now?
A: yeah going on. Everyone is fine. At hometown.
D: so you are not in the city? Are you planning to come back anytime?
A: yeah… Have booked my tickets next month.
D: ok cool….
A: hey…
D: yes?
A: Are you free? I wanted to talk
D: yeah… I am free… Regarding?
A: I am not feeling good about myself (deletes the message)
A: lately i don know whats happening to me, i cannot sleep at night and i just cant stop thinking about my future and how i am gonna find a job in this pandemic (deletes the message again)
A: I feel very suicidal… I am not feeling normal.. Even movies, music, animal videos are not helping me to distract my mind. (deletes the message again)
A: I get lot of panic attacks… Just like that. And i really don know how to stop it…. I start getting these negative thoughts which i try to block through breathing or dancing, or just moving my body, i just cannot stop it. In fact it gets bigger and bigger (deletes the message again)
A: I really need some emotional support… Someone who can hear me out and not tell me, ‘its in my mind. I can fight it off’ (deletes the message again)
A: I have lost my appetite… I have stopped doing daily rituals like brushing, bathing, drinking water… I just don’t get up from my bed (deletes the message again)
A: I feel I haven’t done anything or achieved anything. Ppl keep praising me for my so called talents but I don know why I am not able to see them.. Why cant I see them? (deletes again)
A: i wish i was a child and never grew up…. I hate living (deletes again)
A: everybody keeps asking me about my job and future plans and all. I don know what to answer. Its giving me anxiety to the extent that i have to close my eyes and ears (deletes again)
A: am i being dramatic to ask for some emotional support? Why does my spouse always misunderstand me? (deletes again)
A: i am extremely uncomfortable living around so many ppl. I am not used to living like this. I have always lived life on my terms. I feel extremely anxious. And then I am been reminded of where my place is in my new family constantly through subtle taunts and insults… I am losing my mind… (deletes again)
A: i tried telling my problems to C but C told me that i have to adjust and that’s how this things work. This is how life will be hereafter. C has stopped replying to my messages and also I feel I am troubling C.. That’s why i thought of messaging you (deletes again)
A: i don wanna live…. I seriously feel like i am some waste. I don feel like i have achieved something. I feel like a loser. What to do ya… I am unable to stop thinking (deletes again).
What A actually types
A: I miss our college days… I wish there was a way to experience them again. Life was easy na.
D: hehehee… Lol lol.. Yeaahhh…
A: anyways…. Will chat with you later
D: but you wanted to talk right?
A: ohhh thaaaat… I just remembered our college days.. So thought of pinging you.
D: ooh…. Okkkaayyyy… Yeah college days were fun.
A: hmmmm 
June 16, 2020
What makes Tumbbad Unique
Somebody on Quora requested me to answer a question wondering what made the Bollywood film ‘Tumbbad’ special. I saw this 2018 film in the theater back then and was very satisfied with the climax.
So here are 10 things that make this film worth watching –
It’s set in Maharashtra and shows how it can be both beautiful and depressing when the unending monsoon season sets in.The movie starts with a fictional ancient folklore about ‘Devi’ and her favorite son who was cursed to forever live in hunger in her womb. This makes the plot intriguing from the start.The lush rural setting with ancient forts, demons, curses and tales of hidden treasures set the tone of suspense in the very first 15 minutes of the film.Rahil Anil Barve, the director, does not shy away from making his hero completely grey. The lead actors don’t really have any redeemable qualities and are just greedy, sleazy men.So you don’t have a hero archetype in the film. The story is the hero in the film.The film is set in the British era but the sets are not opulent. At the same time, they are authentic enough to not be jarring and you never really wonder about the historical accuracy.The makers don’t try to pander to the ‘morals’ and ‘sensitivities’ of a certain section of the audience. So you have themes of unbridled lust, and greed. Brothels are visited by pre-pubescent boys. Fathers brutally beat their sons, ignore their wives and sleep with prostitutes.But none of it is glorified. Unlike a lot of films that paint vices like they are ‘cool’. Tumbbad doesn’t do that.While a lot of viewers might find the film slow, I think it’s best enjoyed on the big screen. It doesn’t have any unnecessary scenes and forced jokes. Everything contributes to the story.It has a pretty good twist in the end and is very unconventional for a Bollywood film. Also, I wouldn’t call it a horror film. More like a dark, folklore film. Can’t think of any other Bollywood film that’s anywhere close to this sort of genre.
June 15, 2020
Poet or Poetry
A poet I would rather be
Immortal in each verse
For better or worse
In an endless sea
My words may not find you
Their meanings may be lost
But at very little cost
For I could write anew
So a poet I shall remain
Invincible in each line
All phrases precious, mine
Ink never spilt in vain
-Wrote this little poem while answering a Quora question that asked ‘Would you rather be a poet or poetry?’.
If you are poetry enthusiast and are interested in discovering new poetry, please check my debut book ‘Death & Darker Realms’ out. It’s a collection of 40 poems exploring death, depression & dysfunctional relationships.
Following are the links –
Amazon India Ebook / Amazon India Paperback
Please check your country’s Amazon if I haven’t listed it or just on your kindle/kindle app.
