Paula R.C. Readman's Blog, page 33

Timeout

I just needed some timeout, some headspace to clear my mind as writing can really take it out of you. After editing, rewriting and more editing of six books in the last three years, I just wanted to step away from it and do something else. I have one novel and a novella with two different publishers and both have told me they will be getting back to me in a couple of weeks time. So now it will be a case of playing the waiting game.

My first painting

In the meantime, I have been busy painting. The two paintings I’ve finished have gone to a new home. I was both stunned, and pleased. I must say I really enjoyed getting back into working with paint and brushes. In fact, I love the simple fact that no one can edit or change your painting after hours of work. When you say your painting is finished, it is finished. No one is going to change any of it.

The money I made from the sale of my art went into buying more canvases. I’ve made the decision to split my week up into writing and painting time. I want to focus on painting whatever takes my fancy which at the moment is landscapes using the photographs I have taken. I just want to take the pressure I felt I was under off, and enjoy doing whatever takes my fancy.

My unfinished owl painting.

Promoting my books is so costly and time-consuming. You never really know whether all the time and money you’ve spend makes any difference to the sales, especially after spending money on editing my work, which I know I will never make back. The market is flooded with books and there’s so many free books available too. Though, having said that, I do seem to sell more paperback books than Ebooks so I don’t make my money from pages-turned.

I’m off to do more painting and I shall drop in again soon.

Keep safe, and lets all hope that peace returns soon to Ukraine.

Setting my artistic soul free.

I needed a little time away from my keyboard after many years of writing and editing. When I was much younger I had a dream to be an artist. Painting and drawing had always been my first love. At sixteen, I tried to get into a local college to study art but fail the entry exam of Maths and English. I was heart broken. When I met my first husband and we bought a house together I used to paint and draw but life got in the way. After the break down of my first marriage and with a young son to care for all my art stuff was put up into the loft again.

Now my son is all grown up and married I have the space and time to paint so for the last two weeks I have been busy painting. I took one of my photographs as an inspiration , a large canvas I bought at a car boot sale six years ago, and set to work. I decided not to think about what was the right or wrong way to paint, but just to go with the flow. In my youth I wanted to create photographic paintings, but now I realise that painting isn’t about creating photographs but creating works of art. Anyone can take a photograph these days. An artist can create any painting in any style they want and with any material.

I’ve been overwhelmed by the positive comments I have received on my Facebook and Instagram pages to my art work. I wasn’t expecting to sell my painting, but a lady in my village is interested in buying it after I posted my video online.

I now have a request for another painting, so who knows where my art will take me. I’ve received my edits back from my editor so for the next few days I shall be busy working on my sci-fi novel The Phoenix Hour.

Seeking the Dark received an amazing review on (click on this link Goodreads ) and rose up the Amazon chart to 77 but it has now dropped back down again. Maybe one day it will hit the top ten (fingers crossed)

Chat again soon,

Best wishes, Paula

8 Years Of Blogging with WordPress & my prize

Time certainly flies.

Before I moved over to WordPress eight years ago, I used to have another blog. I can’t even remember how long I had that one, probably from when blogging first started. It was hard to know what to write about in those early posts and would anyone be interested in read what I posted. I started it when I first started writing and I used to post my photographs I took while out walking too.

Then I started having problems uploading photos, and not only that I started getting nasty comments from a troll. There are some terrible people in the world. So, in the end I decided to delete the blog and start again after hunting around to see what other free blogging site were available and that’s when I found WordPress.

In eight years I’ve been blogging with WordPress, my writing journey has come a long way too. At one time I could’ve only dream about seeing my writing in print in the early days. Now I have just finished editing my third novel (sixth book) this morning and have sent it off to the publisher. So now it is back to the waiting game.

Today I received part of prize for Seeking the Dark making it to number 22 in the Best Indie Book of The Year.

Click to enlarge

The Reality Of Sleeping Beauty

As a child I was obsessed with fairy tales. I had a beautiful illustrated book I bought from a jumble sale my grandmother had taken me to when I was about six. It’s really what got me interested in drawing. It was a 1930’s children’s hardback book of Sleeping Beauty with a towering castle and a golden haired princess. Every page had a new illustration along the edge as the story unfolded.

Just lately my mind isn’t dealing with life too well. For the last two nights I have woken in a panic and my tinnitus has been more noticeable. My thoughts have returned to my childhood again. Don’t get me wrong, in comparison to some childhood’s mine was poor, but okay. Father worked full-time my mother was at home. There was food on the table, we were clothed, had a roof over our head, and there was no alcohol, drugs or abuse. Our grandmother lived next door, and she was always a big part of our lives. Both my father and mother were poorly educated, especially my mother who had learning difficulties, and poor social skills.

So what’s the problem?

Having come from a reasonable stable background with three adults in your life you would think you would be able to cope with life. Yet here I am, seeming to never have been given the right tools to deal with the realities of life. Yesterday, while out walking a thought hit me. Fairy tales are in reality a metaphor. They are full of symbolism, if you just read between the lines. Oh yes, I understand the tales I read as a child have been cleaned up and sterilised. After all they are known as the Grimm tales not just because of the Brothers Grimm who originally collected the tales and published them in 1812.

For me, as a child I realised quite early on that prince charming was a metaphor for the unattainable and there so too, the Happy Ever After bit. The Fairy God Mother in the tales never really comes through for the heroine of the stories. No waving of a magic wand would guarantee a happy ever after either. My God mother, like my parents and grandmother had her flaws, too. I always called her my fairy god mother. She would correct me and say she wasn’t. Years later, I understood her resentment at my childish name for her. Her bitterness was directed at her mother, brother and husband until it boiled over and swallowed her up. She took great pleasure in destroying our grandmother’s image in our eyes. We all have issues, which haunt our early mornings and colour our lives.

Back to my sleeping beauty book. I never really related to the princess’s beauty. I was thin, bony, and at 10 years old, I was raped, so no longer pure. This lack of purity stopped me from seeing anything beautiful in myself, so no white wedding for me. I saw only my faults and built a wall of roses around myself so others didn’t see my flaws and it kept them away, too. After my rape, my grandmother told me not to speak about it again, no police were involved, so it could be kept quiet. (Thanks to the #me too movement I can speak out) I can’t think about it, or resolve what happened to me. The two young men involved were never caught, or answered for what they did. I always blamed myself. If I had stayed in the garden, and not wandered off to explore the fields on my own, then it would never have happened. If my mother, grandmother and father could brush it under the carpet and get on with their lives, then so could I. I just locked the event in the castle keep and slept through the rest of my life.

The problem with life, is it has a nasty habit of turning around and biting you back. You move forward believing if you can shut your problems away and build a happy, positive life for yourself, the past can be the past. I didn’t expect to be woken by a prince’s kiss, nor for the wall of roses to turn into thorns. I was scared about having children, because I knew I couldn’t keep them safe. When I met my first husband, I saw for the first time how another family behaved towards each other. The laughter and hugs, and the family get togethers. I thought at first I could really be part of the family, but my ex had other ideas and our marriage soon broke down.

Growing up my family didn’t mix with other families. Apart from seeing my grandmother, and my father’s sister and very occasionally my mother’s side of the family, we had no other contact and never really learnt the skills of socialising with others. I always found it difficult mixing with others because I thought they could see through my painted wall of roses and see my ugly flaws.

Writing has allowed me to express myself and build my confidence. Though, my road through life keeps side-swiping me. Every time something positive happens to make me smile and feel as though my life has been worthwhile from no where a ton of negative bricks rain down on me. I no longer see a bright light shining at the end of a tunnel, but a big black hole that I’m moving towards at high speed. So forgive me, if I don’t get overly excited by my life as I plod along with a black cloud hanging over my head. I’ve decided the best thing for me to do is to bury myself in my writing room, where I can’t upset anyone by saying or doing the wrong thing. I’ll just keep putting the words down, and wait and see what happens next.

Thank you for read this. If you’re going through a tough time, please allow me to reach out and hug you. Keep strong my dear friend. You’re not alone.

Pictures in Our Minds… Or The Lack of them

This morning I was left feeling a little annoyed, and a bit upset after watching a news item. Though, it does make me understand how underrated writers are in film and screen. Our ideas and hours of writing are stolen from us, when books become films and television series. Our written words remain lost between the covers as our books become popular films and TV series.
During an interview a BBC reporter asked a woman about the recent reunion of the film cast for the Harry Potter series, and why she had turned her home and life over to become a Harry Potter super fan. She chatted on about the things she had collected, made, and how it all started after she watched the films as a child. She said, she felt she had grown up with the cast of the films etc. I eagerly waited for her to say about how she had read the first book, and became hooked, and if she had queued for the next one in the series. What impact the books had made on her life, but no… I smiled at my husband, and said, ‘I bet she never read them’.

Then the truth came… With a half smile, she said ‘I’ve been a fan since I was a child, but I never read the books,’ She laughed, ‘Well, I did read them about four years ago. Well, as a child I couldn’t sit still long enough to read them… I did start reading them just recently, but I couldn’t sit still long enough to read them now.. but I love the films, that’s what got me started..’ So really she isn’t a super fan… just a fan of the films and merchandise

All J K Rowling’s careful editing, plotting and hours of rewriting, thinking about the characters and imagination that went into creating the world of Harry Potter was for nothing while working on the books. It was all about the special effects on the wide screen that excited this woman into buying the merchandise. Yes, you can tell me that if the author hadn’t written the first book, and it hadn’t been successful, then the films wouldn’t have been made, and the merchandise created. I agree, but as a writer of books I value the richness of the written word to create the images in my mind.

I always like to read the books first, and then see how the films reflect the author’s vision. The books give you more details in the way of characters’ backgrounds so you can understand why they behave in a certain way. I remember reading ‘The Shipping News Annie E Proulx‘ and only saw the film after reading the book. As the film was on DVD it had the director’s cut too, which I found interesting as the director of the film explained that he had read the book, but parts of the book had to be cut to fit into the length of the film. “We can’t expect our audience to sit still for eight hours, not only that, but it allows readers to enjoy the full pleasure of the book. Films are only a taster.”

I must say that the film of The Shipping News stayed very close to what is in the book. Another book, I had to read before watching the BBC series was Jonathan Strange and Mr Norrell The novel of the same name by Susanna Clarke was amazing and had me hooked from page one. I read many of the Stephen King’s novels before seeing the films, and I’m glad I did as the film were more about special effects rather than the moral of the story. In truth, I enjoy the written word more as it allows my own mind to create the pictures in my head. Sometimes I find that my image of the main character in the book doesn’t fit the lead character in the film.

You can hear one of my stories here. https://www.ghostpod.org/classic-ghost-stories/chimes-at-midnight-by-paula-readman/

I have learn just recently that some people can’t see the pictures in their mind created by words on a page. My husband is one, but I thought that was to do with his ability not to remember what he had read before putting the book down. Where I can read three books on the go, and remember where I got to in the books, he can’t.

Is this another problem that future generations will have? Have we lost the ability to see with the mind’s eye the picture words can create. A picture paints a thousand words.

As children we were given picture books to see and understand that the patterns of letters in words relate to things: Cat, cloud, love, tree etc. these are the building blocks to not only writing, but reading as we learn to see in our mind’s eyes what words mean. The internet is such a visual thing where reading books is about understanding the words in a sentence and having to create the image in your mind. This is where the quality of the writing comes into play. Some books I read leave me cold as I’m unable to picture the setting, characters, storyline etc. There’s not a hook. Scene setting is so important and it drags the reader into the book.

It’s sad that the BBC Harry Potter Super Fan has missed out on reading and fully understand the characters in the book. Maybe, someone will buy her an audio copy of the books so she wouldn’t have an excuse to why she hasn’t read them, or at least listened to them.

Maybe one day I’ll be lucky enough to have my books turned into audiobooks too, so people who enjoy having the written word read to them, as all we did as children, will be able to enjoy my books on the go, too.

Happy New Year to you all.

Happy New Year to You All

I would like to wish all my followers and readers of my novels and stories a very happy and peaceful 2022. I hope that the New Year will be much kinder to us all. May the key workers find time to relax and enjoy a moment’s breathing space in their busy day caring for us.

(Found on Google images)

Thank you to everyone who has read my work and encouraged and supported me in 2021.

Keep safe, wear a mask, read a book and enjoy outdoor spaces more.

Happy New Year Everyone.

Woman Know thy Body!

Glad I’m not in a rush to finish editing today! Okay, so I wanted it finished yesterday, but I’ve just hit another section that needed a bit more thought and rewriting. It’s too easy to just skim over something thinking that your reader will get the point you’re trying to make. Where in reality, you’ve left half the scene in your head, and they may not understand fully what’s going on.
I’m so glad that I stopped, and took a second look. On re-reading the scene, I felt it was somewhat lacking. I tried to imagine how it would sound to my reader.

Did it sound rushed, unimportant or just padding out?

Hey, I know I’m writing fiction, but still I need to keep it realistic. I know I’m not writing a manual for time-traveling, nor am I writing a medical book, but it is important for me to remember I need to keep my readers onboard. Readers are a lot smarter than us writers might think. Yes, they know we’re suspending reality for the length of our books, but by adding a bit more realistic details to a scene it helps to keep our reader’s mind on what’s happening in our fictional world. After all, we don’t want them losing interest in our plotline, and not turning the next page.

As I rush towards the end of my editing, I felt I needed to check out a few facts. My doctor has a poor victim laying on a stretcher. Hmm, that word so didn’t work in my scene. In my mind, a stretcher is carried by two people, so I changed it to the word gurney. This is a much better word as a gurney is used in a hospital to move patients around, and can be moved by one person. As my doctor is on her own while getting up to mischief, it works far better. Then I had a scene where the doctor was going to perform a procedure on the victim. I just wrote the scene as though the operation had just happened. There wasn’t any detail and it was all tell and no show.

Once again, I rewrote the scene and carefully thought about what was happening in it. Just by adding a few more words to the scene, and checking a few medical terms the scene became more powerful and hard hitting. Yes, I may not get any further forward today in my editing, but I have improved the plotline. I’ve always wanted my books to be the best, I can make them. I’m sure that readers will always find faults with our novels, as us writers don’t always see what’s before us because we’re too close to our work. I will always try my very best to spot any faults before my work is published.

Fingers crossed, I’ve caught all my inconsistencies, typos etc. I will of course read through it just one more time.

Chat again soon.

Feeling Excited

Over the holidays I have been busy editing my latest novel. I’m on the home straight now. I can feel the story finally coming together. Once this book is completed and sent off to a publisher I want to take a break and have a couple months out to work on some smaller projects. I then want to get started on my next novel.

The Phoenix Hour tells the story of Doctor Louise Brimstone and the painful decision she has to make between disappearing into the past to escape the consequences of her employee’s actions, or to stay and deal with the aftermath of a drug her parents helped to create.

Back in 2018 when I first wrote the novel, I went to London with my dear friend Ivy. I got chatting with an agent. After explaining the plot to her, she stepped back with a look of pure horror on her face and said, “no woman would want to read this novel “. So I’m hoping plenty of women will read it. I like to think my book has a steampunk feel to it with an element of the Time Machine by H.G. Wells, too.

The Phoenix Hour is a dark crime tale told over two timelines the 1900 and 2055. Unlike the theme H.G. Wells’ book which was about fear and kindness, The Phoenix Hour theme is about black mail, betrayal and the pressures of making difficult decisions for the right reasons.

Right, I’m off to finish my final 59 pages. After editing six books over the last two years, it has taken me over four months to do this last one. I’m hoping my skill of editing has not only improved but I have become quicker too.

See you all in the new year.

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Let’s talk Normal

I’m just playing around with an idea. I want to ask a question (which I hope won’t cause any flaming on my blog page) please remember I’m asking this from a writer’s point of view.

I think it is time the word ‘normal’ to be redefined but to redefine it we need to establish exactly what it means to be normal.

I’m no longer sure what the word means anymore, as what was once normal no longer exists in my way of thinking. The word doesn’t seem to exist in the world as a label anyone is happy to wear as a brand yet, I’ve heard many people who see themselves as being outside the social normality as wanting to be treated as ‘normal’.

So what is normal?

Time To Shine.

Our life on earth is fleeting like a butterfly on the wing. As I head further into the last quarter of my time on this earth I have been busy thinking about what I want to achieve next. Once you have your health in check, a comfortable home, and your children grown and leading their own lives your time becomes your own. I’ve been through some tough times in my past, which has given me an inner strength. I know things are not going to be any easier in the future as the clock of life begins to wind down. There will be more sadness and mountains to climb. We are only given a limited amount of time to enjoy all the pleasures life can give us, so we must live each day like it is our last.

Everyday is precious and we don’t get it back. We can’t rewrite history. Words and actions can’t be unsaid or undone. We have to forgive, forget and move forward. What doesn’t add to our happiness must be cut off, discarded, and set adrift. I have spent too many years trying to understand the behaviour of others, and now I realise it is just wasted time.

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With every new year I’ve always set myself a new challenge. It is a way to motivate myself. If I focus on the future, with a positive attitude, I can leave the hurt and pains others create behind me. It helps to keep my mind free to focus on what brings me pleasure and not pain. I’ve decided the time has come to seek out my younger self, and to fulfil all those ambitions I once had which never happened because of the negativity of others I allowed to get in my way. From now, until I draw my last breath, I shall become single-minded and focus all my energy on my creative soul.

It’s time to take my writing to the next level by looking for ways where I can make the biggest improvements. Maybe, writing faster, to shape idea far quicker. I want to enter more competitions with bigger prizes too. So watch this space.

Chat again soon.