Paula R.C. Readman's Blog, page 25

Broken Hearted Stories.

From wireless mouse to stories that have no heart.

Yes, that’s right. I’ve gone all High-Tec, and now have a wireless mouse for my computer. I use a tower computer for my writing. It stands in the corner of my writing space, along side the screen. The mouse I was using had a long wire which allowed me plenty of freedom while working. When the cable broke, and the mouse stopped working, the replacement had a shorter lead. I had to keep moving my keyboard to get the cursor in the right place. It became frustrating. If I had rearranged my writing space, I would’ve landed up with a dead area in the corner where I couldn’t put anything as it would get in the way.

On Saturday, my husband and I went in the Poundland shop, and found they sold Wireless Mouse (or is that mice) for a reasonable price and bought one. I always believed you had to be connected to the internet all the time to use one, which is why I had never thought about using a wireless mouse. I try to keep off the internet while writing, as it’s easy to become side-tracked. So you can imagine my delight to find it works fine off line too.

So far I’ve completed two submissions this year. These are only short stories. One was for a local writing competition for the Essex Year Of Reading and the second was for CafeLit an online magazine. I like the idea of having a site where the editor is helpful and always willing to allow her writers to post a wide range of stories in different genres. I thought, I would try a different kind of story to my normal genre when I submitted this time. Now I’m busy working on a third story to submit to Bridge House Publishing, submission theme for their anthology this year. In the past, I have been lucky enough to have my stories selected by them.

Please don’t worry I haven’t forgotten about Martha Wenlock, I shall be back working on her novel soon. I’m hoping to complete the first draft by the end of June. The short stories submissions were to give me a challenge, and something to look forward to throughout the year.

Yesterday, the story I had been working on for the Bridge House Submission dried up on me. It wasn’t going anywhere so I shelved it altogether. It was the second story this month I couldn’t get excited about. I’ve opened a new folder and called it, my Rejection Bin. These are stories that have no beating heart, and I can’t seem to resuscitate them, no matter how hard I work. I don’t want to give up on them completely either. Maybe in the future, some spark of inspiration will come to me, and they will be turned around as I uncover their beating heart.

The new story I’m working on for the Bridge House submission is quite different from anything I’ve written before, so fingers crossed.

Happy Week, Happy Writing.

Chat again soon.

Be Positive and Positive Things will Happen.

When I went through my darkest hours, I lost all sense of my own worth. I was trapped in a bad marriage, with a husband who kept undermining me, I was nothing, a nobody. His favourite saying was- “women are all right until they start thinking.”
I had no job, no money and no future and a baby. For another five long years, I stuck it out the best I could until I reached the point where I grabbed a bottle of pills. I was on the edge of an abyss. Don’t get me wrong, I know life can be tough, and maybe my life had in someway been pretty easy going compared to other people’s lives.

Mental health is so important because it so easy to slip into a dark place. The smallest of negative thoughts can trap you into a downward spiral. The light at the end of a dark tunnel can fade and disappear. Surrounding yourself with positive people can be so uplifting. I’m lucky to have Russell in my life now, he doesn’t allow the darkness in, and keeps the wolves from invading my life.

This article isn’t long,(Click Here) but it explains why it’s important to have a positive attitude towards your mental health. Why reach for chemical solutions when natural ones are available through a simple change in your lifestyle. A brisk walk in the countryside, breathing in fresh air, a break from four walls and a keyboard creates a natural chemical reaction within our own body that improves our wellbeing.

Yes, I know it’s not easy. But a quick fix isn’t going to make the sadness disappear. It took me years to find myself in a positive place, and I still have days where the darkness hovers at my shoulders, whispering negative thoughts in my head. You’re a failure What makes you think you’re so special! You’re uneducated, you’re stupid, you think you’re clever, well you’re not!

They’re just words… words that hurt and crush the spirit!
I went to the doctor, and asked for help. He wrote out a prescription for antidepressants, I took them home and stared at the pills. Hadn’t I just taken a load to try to end the misery I was feeling, the emptiness, the loneliness. So why would I start popping pills to find another form of escape?
I flushed the pills away, and turned to another kind of help.

Talking, but most of all listening!
It’s amazing how listening to the uplifting people, music and uplifting sounds can make to your wellbeing. It’s the same with eating the right kind of food, in the right setting.

I stepped away from the edge and found my true self, my self worth, and surrounded myself with positive people who are true to themselves. Thank you my dear friends.

Let’s make mental health a positive thing by lifting the hearts and minds of all those around us, with happiness.

Desiderata : Things desired

This poem, penned in the early 1920s by the American writer Max Ehrmann, was given to me by a friend, Timothy Timms when I was thirteen years old. Timothy’s parents were fascinating to me. They were hippies, living in a big house, full of books and musical instruments. Timothy’s parents were the first adults who spoke to me as though they were interested in my opinion on life. In their kitchen were jars of herbs and spices and seemed like a different world to me. His mother wore long flowing Indian cotton dresses and spoke in a soft, kind voice. Timothy wanted to teach me how to play the guitar and I was eager to learn. Then the family moved away, and I never saw or heard from Timothy again.

The poem Desiderata had a huge impact on me. Whenever I felt overwhelmed by life, I read it. The copy he gave me all those years ago is now framed and hangs on my wall. The first line of the verse reminds me, sometimes it’s best to say nothing. Remember what peace there may be in silence.

It is important for you to, Speak your truth quietly and clearly; But you must listens to others. Avoid loud and aggressive persons; for they will unsettle you.

This is something I have always remind myself is important to remember. If you compare yourself with others you may become vain or bitter.

What is also important, is to be yourself, and Strive to be happy

I’ve posted a copy of the poem below, so you can read it for yourself.

I find the whole poem speaks loudly and clearly to me in this noisy, racing world, even after all these years.

Be at peace with yourself, my dear friends. You are a child of the universe.

Desiderata Go placidly amid the noise and the haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons; they are vexatious to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.

Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time. Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment, it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself.

You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be. And whatever your labours and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy :

Written by Max Ehrmann, 1948

Just needs a little editing.

Happy Anniversary to my blog and me. Nine years ago, I started my WordPress blog because the Blogger(dot)com blog I once had gave me huge problems when uploading photos on to the site. Since moving over to WordPress, I’ve always been happy here.

Editing and Writing:

For the last few days I’ve been playing around with a story I wrote in 2019. I needed to reduce the word count by half. The problem was the story was incomplete and needed more bite to give it a buzz. The more I edited the storyline the more it grew. The main problem being the tale was set over days, as knight made a journey to another castle to collect a young veiled woman and return to complete the task he had been given. Of course, his return journey wasn’t going to be easy.

As the word count for the submission was too short, I didn’t have enough words to build up the tension before dropping in the action and then have a plot twist. Also the story was told in the third person so I needed more words. I couldn’t see a way of reducing the word count without losing the bulk of the story, and creating a weaker plot, so I gave up trying. The story won’t go to waste as I’m sure I can find somewhere else to send the tale once I’ve completed it.

After hunting around on my computer for another incomplete story, I found one. This one was an unfinished tale, I wrote in 2018 and was told in the first person. A change of title and four hours of editing has already given it a real buzz, which has allowed the muses to inspire me with a better ending, all within the thousand word guideline for the submission.

Reading and Reviewing:

I always enjoy doing the GoodReads Reading Challenge and have read three of my 70 books I have set for my challenge for 2023. Last night, I finished reading Lethal White by Robert Galbriath. It’s the Cormoran Strike fourth book. I’ve loved the books since picking up the first in the series at a car-boot sale. I must admit I was curious to find out if J. K. Rowling was any good at writing adult books, having never read any of the Harry Potter series. The Cuckoo’s Calling had me hook from the opening line, and I couldn’t put it down.

Lethal White is a big book. I’m sure J.K. Rowling could have reduced the word count and tightened the book in places if she had edited it better. I’m so in love with the characters, Cormoran and Robin I put those issues to one side and read on. I know, I’m a bit out of order here, as I read Trouble Blood book 5 as part of my Goodreads Challenge last year, before reading book 4. I found the opening chapters in book four a little boring as they were all about Robin’s wedding to Matthew, who wanted her to stop working with Strike. I picked up Trouble Blood in a charity shop (I’m sure J.K. won’t miss my money) and found it hooked me straightaway, so I went back to finish reading the fourth book.

I’m now reading Ink Black Heart (book six) which my son bought me for Christmas. Once again, its a big book, so I hope I won’t be disappointed with the storyline. I know J.K. Rowling has had problems because she has been outspoken on a certain subject, but I’m only interested in her books, and the characters Cormoran and Robin.

What are you reading at the moment?

Happy reading everyone. thank you for dropping by.

A question of numbers

If you had one wish, what would it be?

Having only one wish creates all kinds of problems depending on what kind of person you are. You’ll find yourself torn between using the wish to fulfil your own dreams, or to help others.
Having only one wish, is like having only one life. Do we live a life where we help others, or just follow our own destiny?

Maybe, it’s just a question of looking at the bigger picture.
If helping others gives you a sense of satisfaction in your life, then that’s the route you should take. If following your own dreams gives you a sense of accomplishment, your peace of mind and happiness will rub off on others around you.

So back to my question, what would you wish for, if you had only one wish?

Oh, I’m guessing you’ll want to know what my wish would be. My wish is that people were less wasteful, especially when it comes to clothing.

On our local TV, the other night, was a news item showing how much waste was being dumped in our countryside. A huge amount of fast fashion waste is creating a mountain of clothing, covering vast areas of landfill sites, as well as filling charity organisations’ warehouses. A large amount of water is needed when making the clothes which in some cases are only worn once, and then thrown away. Pollution created through dyes used in the manufacturing process when clothes are made are getting into our rivers and seas.

If we were to step back in time, and that’s only a short time ago, we didn’t have such a vast amount of clothes in our wardrobes. Fashion was a seasonal thing. New collections came out four times a year, spring, summer, autumn and winter. The clothes reflected the weather. Each decade had its own style .i.e. the sixties’ mini skirts, Beehive hairstyles, the mop top and pixie haircut, The eighties’ wide shoulder pads, bright colours. Hair was teased and permed, voluminously styled, and crimped etc.

Now we are desperately seeking individualism, wanting to start a trend, to be an influencer and create a following. A moment of fame. As each individual now has their own world stage via the internet others can follow the influencers’ way of dressing, copying their make up etc. The only problem is everyone wants to be a trendsetter, and to fill that need is creating an environmental disaster which will affect us all in the end.

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Like having only one wish, or living one life, there’s nothing wrong with being an individual, but maybe, you should think more about how your lifestyle is effecting not only the people around you, but the environment too. It must be remembered there is only one planet Earth, and we must all play our part in looking after it.

So next time you go shopping ask yourself three simple questions: Do you really need it? Is it environmentally friendly? and most importantly, can you dispose of it fully, without creating an impact on the environment, when you’ve finished with it?

Thank you for reading my blog.

Chat again soon.

Too Crazy for Words: two sides of the same coin.

The world through my eyes:

I’m finding this world a little crazy at the moment. What with the continuing war in the Ukraine and the rising food and energy prices, along with the struggling NHS in Britain. The daily news media seems to be full of negative worldwide stories. Oh, and I shouldn’t forget to mention our little whining Prince Harry and his sidekick, Meghan.

Oh dear, don’t get me started. All I will say, is thank goodness, we have William and Kate to carry our stunning, hard working Royals into the future. What many people forget is how much money the royal family generate for this country, along with their charity work they do and the jobs they create for others, directly and indirectly Also they pay their taxes too. As an English person, I wouldn’t want their duties, or job. Most British people understand the pressures that come with being a member of the royal family. You may be wealthy, but its a full time job from cradle to grave. Every breath you take, every move you make, someone is watching you. Our Queen Elizabeth II served our country well, with grace and dignity, every day of her life. Harry must have grown up with some understanding of what would be expected of him. At least, his time spent in the army would have taught him how to follow orders, and instil a sense of duty towards others. I haven’t watched all the Netflix series, but what I have seen makes me shudder. The victim attitude both Harry and Meghan are playing is so shallow and degrading, especially, in a world when there’s real suffering going on.

Harry and Meghan have a steady income, and a lovely home, two beautiful healthy children and live in a peaceful part of the world. What more do they want or need to live a private life? Harry is using the Media, the thing he complained had destroyed his mother’s life. As far as I can see he’s milking his mother’s memory and seems to forget his brother William suffered the same loss, too.

In a strange way, maybe Harry and Meghan has done the world a big favour and we will see less whining coming from people who have no right to complain. Yes, mental health issues, and abuse should be openly discussed, but only among people who can physically help you and not for the reason Harry and Meghan did it. 10 million pounds, a book deal, and worldwide interviews for even more money isn’t sitting down in a private room to sort out one’s mental health issues or rebuilding relationships between loved ones. I was surprise to find such a large number of people across the globe had the same reaction as myself.

Oh, do shut up, Harry and go away.

After all, you did choose to turn your back on your duties and country. You wanted a private life away from everyone and everything. So stop whining, and get on with enjoying your life.

My Writing:

At the moment, I’m focusing on finishing editing a short story I wrote for a women’s magazine in 2011. The story isn’t in my normal style of writing. When I set off on my writing journey, I wasn’t sure what sort of writer I wanted to be, so I played around with all sorts of different genres until I found which was the most comfortable for me to write in.

At the moment, I’m finding full on horror isn’t rocking my boat, too much horror happening in the real world for me to get excited about writing it. I can understand why the film industry releases a lot of uplifting movies when the world is going through a negative period. People want escapism, with a positive uplifting end, that can give them hope for the future. Good triumphs over evil.

We’ll chat again soon.

Have a great day.

Oh I’m online again.

Please check my interview in the online magazine called, Into The Unknown.

Just flick through the pages, and you will find the interview with me.
I hope you enjoy finding out more about my writing and me.

After The Break

Now all the chocolates have been eaten, the Christmas puddings too. The crackers pulled, and the decorations back in their boxes, and back in the loft. With the parties over for another year, my mind begins turning towards the new year ahead, and what I hope to achieve.

As I sit at my keyboard for the first time in days, my mind is still unable to generate the thought-process needed to start work. Out of the window, the sky is ice-blue, the sun has no warmth and the ground wet from last night’s rain. I’m in need of exercise.

Over the last three months in England, we’ve had nothing, but wet weather followed by snow, and freezing conditions then more rain. Not ideal weather for walking across muddy fields. I went out on a couple of occasions for short walks, but with so much to finish off ready for the Christmas break, and my unexpected stay in hospital, I’ve had no time for exercising my body.

I never realised how tiring sleeping while popping pills and being pumped full of antibiotics can be, it’s mind-numbing. Followed by too much sugar too, doesn’t help. Tomorrow, my husband returns to work, and I’m up-to-date with the housework. It’s something I always do. If I can’t think what to write next, I do housework, or dig the garden, cut the lawn, do some washing, anything but force my mind into a panic if writing doesn’t come easily.

At my writing group’s Christmas Party, I was asked where do I find the time to do the housework. They thought my husband must do it. No, he doesn’t. My husband goes to work, watches TV, and potters around in his garage, stripping and rebuilding preloved bicycles. The house and garden is my domain. Over Christmas, Russell did cook the main dinner and the washing up, too, while my wrist was recovering. It’s still swollen and tender around where the doctor cut it, but I haven’t lost the use of my forefinger and thumb on my right hand. It scared the pants off me, when the doctor told me was possible that I could lose the use of my thumb. I’m a lot happier now, my wrist is on the mend.

Keeping the house and garden tidy is a passion of mine. I can’t bear mess. I love order and a tidy mind is what makes me, me. Like the colours of a rainbow, or the days of the week, months of the year, things have to happen in a certain order. Without order, we have chaos.

I’m not a person who gets hung up on being overly tidy, but things have to be clean and tidy for me to work. Everything has its place in my home, dirty cups and plates once finished with must be returned to the kitchen. Washing up must be done, and put away, not left overnight. No dirty washing left on floors etc. No beds left unmade in the morning.

It’s the same in the garden. Things to a degree, must be tidy, if it is manmade. Nature can be as untidy as it likes in my world though Mother Nature is a very orderly even though humanity is throwing more than a few spanners into her work. I can’t stand seeing accumulating household rubbish, so it is sorted straightaway and anything our council binmen don’t collect, we take to the local dump and dispose of it correctly.

Now I must get my ordered mind back into gear, and start work on finishing the Granny Wenlock novel, and a short story for a submission.

Do you have to have things tidy around you, before you can focus on your writing/painting/ craft etc?

Thank you for dropping by for a chat.

Happy New Year

Wishing you all the very Happy New Year

Planning Ahead

I’m back at home in my writing room, thinking about the start of the New Year. We are heading out to a party tonight to meet up with friends. We are so lucky on so many levels to be able to enjoy the life we have been given.

On the News, this morning, I heard that Putin is upping his game against Ukraine. How that awful man can live with the senseless destruction he has created, I shall never understand. I also read online that he’s killing anyone who speaks out against him. I hope the Ukraine people continue to find the strength and courage needed to stand up against him in this unjust war. As Putin continue to make his awful plans, and the amazing President of Ukraine, Volodymyr Zelenskyy continues to make counter attack plans too, I’m so fortunate to have luxury of making a few gentler plans of my own.

Unlike the people of Ukraine and other areas around the world, who live daily in the fear of lack of food, hospital care, power, and fresh water, all I have to worry about is… nothing. Compared to others, I have no real concerns. A two-day stay in hospital because my cat bit me is nothing compared to bombs raining down on you night and day, the fear for your children and family, lack of food, fresh water and power must be terrifying.

I’ve decided to take life easy, and enjoy every day. My own plans for this year is to write one book, create four new paintings, write three new short stories, and several smaller art projects for the craft fair next December.

Let me wish you all a very Happy New Year for 2023.

Much Peace and Happiness to you and your family.

Best wishes,
Paula R. C.