Sara Ellie MacKenzie's Blog, page 6

#BehindTheScenes 46 - Tarot III

You did not expect that, did you?

This #BehindTheScenes is brought to you by a writer's other activities. Tarot is an activity I use for clarity and guidance. They are not the paganist tools of the Devil or anything of the sort.

I admitted once that I had some strange things happen to me. I will do another #BehindTheScenes on that later. For now, tarot and oracle are my focus today. For those who do not understand, please set aside all of your knowledge about them. Look at the picture on the left.

This is my Akashic deck, so it is different than a traditional 1. The Akashic is explained as the field of knowledge, of everything in the universe, and the idea behind it is that there is knowledge within us that will prompt us forward. This card in particular talks about 2 sides facing each other - what we know in our minds and what we know in our souls.

Read the pictures below, from left to right. What evil do you see in it? How does it go against your holy books? If anything, I love the artwork. It's historical in basis. The message behind the card isn't bad either.

Did you read through all of that? If so, what do you think? What connections do you see with other religions? The reason why I ask is because each holy book, from the Koran to the Bible and even the philosophies of Hinduism, Taoism, etc., says the same things, only in different languages.

It is the same with tarot. Each card can have the same messages. But each different deck can say it another way that is more understandable. It does not always follow the traditional meanings that history placed on them.

Religion and spirituality is a personal journey. Some people share it together. Others are silent in their faith. Every one of those walks is perfect. Just as long as you harm none, walk. I will be beside you, walking you home.

Namaste, everyone. Have a great day!

#ToolsOfTheTrade #Religious #Spirituality #MessagesFromAngels #YouAndMe #PersonalChoice #IndieAuthor

Chronically Writing: Another One?!

Just when I thought life could not get any weirder...it does.

I was diagnosed as Neurodivergent.

Wait...how did that happen?!

I've mentioned it a few times. I used neurodivergent instead of autism because I was unsure. I never wanted an excuse, but an explanation for how I thought. I felt like this was the only thing that defined my weirdness and acceptance of all things in left field.

When you have someone who is in your corner and believes you, anything can happen.

Brian and I always wondered about Calvin's autism. We knew that a great uncle of Brian's was autistic. There was mention of something else. Then, someone my father said before he died and a simple internet meme changed that view.

Before he passed, my father told me something he vaguely remembered. My mother used to jump and wave her hands, like Calvin. He mentioned to her how cute it was and she stopped doing it. She never did it again through their years of abuse, kids, and drugs.

The internet meme? Well, I am sure that Big Brother has got enough tracking on me to know that I am a special needs mom and throws me special needs memes and websites. Something caught my attention. It simply said, "You know, autism is genetic."

GENETIC!

Like, holy shit, if my son was mid/high functioning, then someone closer than a 2x great uncle could have passed it. We had another theory until I started researching adults with autism. The list of symptoms was familiar to me. Then, there was more digging. TikTok videos. YouTube surfing. Reading books. Connecting with other women diagnosed as adults.

Then, some piece of my life became clearer.

The bullying from my peers and the inability to retain friendships. The petulance in doing my work and the punishments that made me fear. Clothes that made me uncomfortable and the vocalness I had about it. Repeating songs I love nonstop for days. The want to fidget on every occasion I needed to sit still and be quiet. No, I do not do well in churches.

That little girl never knew safety. She always sought for attention and approval. That way, she would somehow get a shred of the love she craved. I wish I could have told her that she was perfect the way she was...and that the future was better than she realized, even for her uniqueness.

Namaste, everyone! Have a great day!

#Confessions #AnotherOneBitesTheDust #Autism #Neurodivergent #LittleGirl #Masking #IndieAuthor

#FindOutFriday Answers 23

Hi, everyone! Here are the answers to this week's #TriviaTuesday. How many did you get? Comment below!

Teuta - A town that John Ronald visited was surveyed by the Duke of Brenton's son. Teuta was a figure I 1st heard in a documentary by Henry Louis Gates. Historically, she was Illyrian Queen who fought the Romans. There are few reliable sources about her because all of them are hostile. We do know that she held the regency for her stepson and that she was a center figure in the First Illyrian War against Rome.

IBLP (Institute in Basic Life Principles) - It was a sect of Christianity founded by Bill Gothard in 1961. It was made more (in)famous by the Duggar family with nineteen children. This was the main basis for the Christianity in the series. To have as many children as God allowed was what kept the character of Miranda Bryon in the limelight (in the story's context anyway). The idea of having twenty plus children is not farfetched either. Mariam Nabatanzi and Barbara Stratzmann are examples of such mothers.

Pelkey - This 1 was pretty obscure unless you are fluent in Tudor history. Pelkey was the name of Miranda's dog in Through the Meadow. It was also the name of Anne Boleyn's dog (albeit it was Purkoy, not Pelkey). While the name was slightly changed, the fate of the canines did not. Anne Boleyn's friend died from a fall. Miranda's passed via nefariosu means...

That's it, everyone. Namaste! Have a great weekend!

#History #CurrentEvents #Christianity #FreedomOfReligion #AncientTimes #TudorHistory #Trivia

#BehindTheScenes 45 - Book Covers

Welcome to the new season of #BehindTheScenes everyone! In this edition, I am going to talk about my book covers. I have always received mixed reactions to them. I mean, they are pretty plain with a generic picture on each.

Let's look over my first book, A World So Bright and Dark. Basic title, author and picture on the cover. Yes, nobody could see why I would choose a black and white picture of empty benches. Marketing experts that I spoke to did not let me explain why I chose what I did, stating strongly that it was plain, had no meaning, and would not get me any readers.

They were right. I am not criticizing that. But it left no room for me to say that yes, there was a meaning to the picture. The book is written in the voice of a young girl. She is bullied and abused, seeing herself mostly alone. The picture of the empty benches is the equivalent of her speaking to a friend, i.e. her journal.

They are fictional characters. But in Lizzie's world, the journal is a real friend versus invisible. She is telling her friend all her secrets. Since it is between the two of them, nobody else would know.

Does it make better sense now?

Well, that would not have brought the right readers, come to think of it. The same thing happened with the other books. Casting Shadows had the spiral staircase. The Circle is Broken had candles. Through the Meadow displayed the butterfly on the flower. Revolution is less exciting with its forest view.

Each of them had meaning. The staircase was what I imagined Dorth House had, a location close to the main character of the first two books. The candles represented not only the light in the dark, but also the secretive nature of the escapade. The butterfly in the meadow symbolized vulnerability in open spaces. The explosive revolution isn't so boring once you knew that the main setting of the latter half of the book was set in the woods.

None of those told you what kind of book I have. Most of you would not catch the symbolism, to be honest. But set to the background of stone and light, you can clearly see crowned books.

It's a work in progress to make an author marketable. When you are on your own, nobody is always going to understand you. You WILL be judged. You WILL experience ups and downs. But someday, you WILL understand how to do something without thinking about it...because we got better with practice. It's the same with me. Besides, I plotted the rest of the series much the same way and will continue to advertise the books the same way, even if the color and the schemes don't make sense to you.

PS Watch out for the next piece of the cover for From Across the Sea. I am planning to post it here on the blog middle to end of October. Again, the full picture will be revealed 6:30 PM EST on New Years Eve 2024.

Namaste! Have a great day!

#BookCover #BoringYou #TooBig #PrintTooSmall #BooksTooBig #NotForYouDoesntMeanNotForEveryone #IndieAuthor #BookSeries

Sunday FAQ 1

Well, I've been getting asked a lot of questions about being a full time author. And it's not just from people I meet. Even my husband is (mostly) ignorant of the work I do. To him, it's a lot of work without compensation. He is more understanding of my needs and knows the industry sucks.

So, I thought every Sunday, I'd allow you all to ask me questions and I can answer them here (because my videos and #BehindTheScenes sometimes does not cut it). Later, I might do lives on TikTok or some other social media to continue this. For now, I like the written format. Any questions can be emailed to me at saramckenzie1982@gmail.com.

Do you really sit around all day?

No. While I sit a lot writing, editing, etc., I do not do it all day. I have housework I do on my breaks, and I take a lot of walks. I also get up and answer the phone and email. Yes, I do it standing sometimes. Yes, I love dancing to music and typing.

Do you make lots of money?

Hahahahahaha, no. I have made less than $1000 in 5 years. A person has to be lucky and know a lot of people to get into a traditional publishing house and have an income. They also need support and a lot of luck.

How do you handle the work/home life?

Very carefully. I have to discipline myself and set a schedule for everything. Some time is allocated to social media or my website. Others to the craft of writing and editing. My priority (because I am home) is my son, Calvin. He is autistic and has a routine between here and school. When school is out, I am the primary caretaker and that is a LOT.

Let's see what kind of questions you have! Please comment below or email me. Namaste, everyone, and have a great rest of your weekend!

#IndieAuthor #QA #AllAboutMe #AskYourQuestions #WorkHomeLife #WifeAndMom #NewBritain

#FindOutFriday Answers 22

Hi, everyone, and welcome to the next season of #FindOutFriday. Here are the answers! How many of them did you get? Let me know in the comments below.

Mary and Elizabeth Tudor - The sibling rivalry between Jayne and Nora Brutrose is obvious in Casting Shadows and The Circle is Broken is not only seeped deep into my own childhood. It's also a mirror of the 16th century queens, Mary I and Elizabeth I. Of course, they were the daughters of the infamous Henry VIII (you know, the guy with the six wives). The eras they lived was filled with religious strife and civil war had been less than one hundred years before. The competition for the Crown did not help matters much either.

Catherine the Great - There are a few things inspired at this rambunctious German-born princess who became the tsarina of Russia. Inoculations are one of them. Her only husband (that we are aware of), Peter III, was a sufferer of smallpox. When the chance for inoculations came, she and her son, Paul I, became one of the first to get it. In Casting Shadows, the idea was used for a different purpose. Not only did the people of Klenard experience the extermination of the plague, but the lack thereof ensured the safety of the succession.

Crossdressing - The idea of crossdressing has been around for centuries. There are famous example in the media (here's to you, Jamie Farr) and history paints the art of theater meant for men (even with female characters). In the Wrapped in the Rays of the Sun series, some characters disguise themselves to survive, the prime example being Nora Brutrose. Faced with the prospect of death, she escapes her prison and enlists as a man in the Klenard Army. The legality of this choice would be brought up, especially since she was a woman bent to be Queen.

That's it, everyone. Namaste, and have a great day!

#History #Entertainment #Culture #BackToWork #NewSeason #TriviaTuesday #Autumn #IndieAuthor

A New Season

It's weird to think autumn begins at the end of the month.

Rabbit, rabbit, rabbit!

There have been some changes going on. Other than trivia on Tuesdays/Fridays, #BehindTheScenes on Thursdays, and #SeflieSaturday or Sunday, I mean. (By the way, #TriviaTuesday will begin this week.) Has anyone noticed??

Literary quotes are back. I used to do those 2-3 years ago. I am also asking you as readers and writers to give your opinion. Today, I asked everyone their opinion about AI in the arts. Mine is mixed, like any other technology. I am willing to debate in the comments!

This is also an election year. If you know me, you will know where I stand. Hate does not belong here.

Be hopeful, everyone. Namaste!

#NewSeason #Debates #Quotes #Distraction #LetsHearFromYou #Audience #FaithHopeLove

Them's the Rules

Wow, I cannot believe that my son is back to school. He is in seventh grade! Now, the house is all mine until he and my husband come home. That means this is the next season of #BehindTheScenes and #TriviaTuesday. I am sure you are wondering what they are!

#BehindTheScenes dives into me - some of my personal life, writing process and more. I explain the little things and sometimes, my hobbies and experiences. This will start next week and be posted on Thursdays.

#TriviaTuesday (and the sequel #FindOutFriday) are trivia questions (HINT: you need to read the books). I name the person, place, thing, idea, etc., and you tell me where in the books you see it. I post the answers on Fridays (spoiler alert). Please do not play if you have not read the books.

Them's the rules!

Most of it is on this blog. No rewards will be given. It is a fun exercise to get to know me and my books better. Stay tuned. This season is going to be awesome!

Namaste!

#IndieAuthor #AloneAtLast #BackToSchool #WorkingMom #Fantasy #ActionAdventure

Chronically Writing: Standing Your Ground

This is a tough subject. People are usually divided on what is defined as standing your ground and when someone is being an obnoxious pain. When you have been traumatized as a child, this is more difficult to articulate. The journey of almost every chronic illness sufferer has been filled with gaslighting and tears.

Mine began when I was young. Many often associate trauma to chronic pain, and I am an example of this. I remembered being a child and forced to work long hours, cleaning. Once, the basement had a small flood and I was assigned to use the Wet Vac. The low bending and body movement caused me extreme pain.

At the time, I was eight years old.

Yes, I was considered overweight in my parents' eyes. Yes, I always ate right and exercised regularly. I was also assigned most of the housework. We had a lot of animals in the house at the time, and it took a lot to clean up after them.

The first accusation out of my father's mouth was that I was faking it because I was fat and tired and trying to get out of the chore. I know that I was trying hard not to cry. It was a rule growing up, that we were not allowed to cry. Yes, it brought us weird looks at school.

That little eight year old was not believed until she was on the floor, sobbing. Even then, she was watched carefully, to see if she slipped. She tried not to make a big deal out of it. Dad had larger issues with his construction accident injuries, I reasoned to myself.

Except that thinking is wrong.

By putting myself last, I learned not to stand up for myself. Told myself for years that others had it worse than I did. As I got older, I learned that I had to teach my son that he had to take care of himself. That meant that I too had to stop avoiding my problems and take care of that little girl who was left so small.

Thus began almost a year of being transferred from one office to another, just to be told it was all in my head.

My personal journey is not about calling out the doctors and their assistants for not understanding me or even listening to me. It's about how professionals respond to patients countering their results. It's the diagnosis at first glance, without asking how and why. It's about putting every person into the same box when most of us can't even fit inside.

Ultimately, this is what I was told: the pain was all in my head, despite lab results and the MRI.

Using another facility did not help much either. Most doctors look over the notes of the previous ones and cancel appointments. I cried over the phone many times, begging to keep appointments because new symptoms came up, or I had questions to ask. I pleaded not to be sent someplace where I was going to treated like an overweight diabetic who faked her illnesses, which I was not. Yes, I'll take responsibility for my weight, but the rest did not apply.

Nobody understands that trauma can make you needy. That rejection hurts more than anything else. And you get mean...REALLY MEAN...when you 1st stand up for yourself. It surprises people and makes them believe you are a troublemaker. You can explain how trauma affects you, but none of them think with empathy. When they see trouble, they want you out.

THAT is what makes chronic illness patients so difficult to work with.

Yes, I did manage to find the help I needed. I had to do the legwork because my GP had no idea what to do (no joke). Mostly, I am doing ok. I am still working through my boundaries and how to address my problems (because I possess a lack of social skill). I am still working through the endless weight of pain, disappointment and sadness.

It's a heavy weight, much more than I realized.

Like any other chronic illness, it is 1 step at a time. With a lot of time alone, I can contemplate these feelings and sort through how I need to express myself. Frustration and impatience are weaknesses and do not serve what I need.

And honesty is best when standing your ground.

Namaste, everyone! Have a great day!

#ChronicallyIll #ForeverWriting #Patience #Kindness #DontLetThemPushYouAround #IndieAuthor #BookSeries #NewBritain

Announcing the Next Volume...

Yes, yes, I said it many times before.

But this is the real thing.

From Across the Sea is set to be released late 2025. More info about the exact date will be forthcoming. I am thinking late October, but we will see. Depends on how the writing goes. The summary will be below.

This is also YOUR 1st glance at the cover! I will be revealing the full cover of From Across the Sea on New Years Eve 6 PM EST. For the time being, I will be showing pieces of it. For today, it's the upper right-hand corner and some of the bottom. Yes, it is a tan color.

Keep an eye out for updates, excerpts and more. The revolution has begun. Where are you going in this #NewAdventure?

Namaste, everyone! Have a wonderful weekend!

#IndieAuthor #BookSeries #BookFive #UnlovedDaughter #AbuseIsAbuse #EpicFantasy #ActionAdventure #NewBritain

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Victoria was best known as the Ronald family's only surviving child. Her upbringing did not indicate anything important. She spent an idyll childhood in Cennix, Vicroy, cloistered in a nursery with her mother and set to marry a man who lived in the neighboring lands. However, political, religious and social circumstances caused the loss of her mother and her home. She went into hiding with her father in Little Deef and soon was running errands for its mother organization, the United Front.

For a few years, it was chancy. Her father, the famed preacher John Ronald, traveled to various locations to speak the Word of God, while the United Front used the distraction to strike at Mother Church. The war was at an impasse until John was captured and Victoria was spirited away. John's beheading at the Ploum Prison in 279 sparked another kind of revolution. His followers initiated total anarchy in Klenard, plundering the barren earth and disregarding the United Front. Next, they turned their ugly eyes on the Klenard King, Edward, and set the kingdom ablaze.

Victoria's plans changed. Sent across the sea to the freed kingdom of Cherls, she married the pirate Black Skull and lived quietly with an old widow, Julia Gloss, while her husband was away. She was depressed and inactive with the United Front until Julia's death. After continuous attacks on her home and the recent developments in Klenard, Victoria decided to rejoin the United Front and assisted the exiled King Robert. With the help of the pirate queen, Annette Sasha, she developed the strength and confidence before being entrusted to lead a battalion of her own.

With this new support, thousands of citizens in Cherls gathered to her banner under the Ronald name alone. With the United Front, they sailed on the offensive and gained one victory after another. Eventually, they helped the United Front gain Klenard. After the 281 assassination of King Edward, his son, Gregory, held the Crown, waiting for the elderly Robert to return.

Throughout the venture, there were doubts about Victoria. It was stated that the young woman would falter somewhere and be the stooge of the last person who spoke to her. Yet, with one success after another, her reputation was seeped in respect. The Holy One was suspicious of Victoria's intentions and soon named her as an enemy of their institution, determined to blacken her name. But what Mother Church did not understand was that Victoria was unwilling to bend.