Amanda Brainerd's Blog
July 22, 2023
Fog
I’ve been a Maine since mid June finishing my second novel. It has been foggy probably 95% of the time I have been here. Fog is beautiful, but ultimately it becomes disorienting. This morning I read that fog is like a cage without a key. That seems a bit extreme, but not being able to see more than a few feet, rarely seeing the sun, and neither moon nor stars makes the days and nights blend into one another in a bizarre rhythm. This is probably what it’s like to live in Scandinavia in the winter. Great writing weather, however. Happy summer!
April 17, 2022
Spring (sort of)
It's incredible to watch spring unfold in New England, but this weekend I was reminded of an aspect of spring that I know I should admire, yet find pretty disgusting. We have a pond down the road, and at this time of year it is literally writhing and seething with mating toads. I know, it's cool that they leave land and mate in water and lay eggs and then the baby toadlets hop onto shore once hatched. But the endlessly buzzing, chirping, roiling din of mating amphibians just doesn't turn me on. Reproduction is miraculous, but the act that is required... uh not so much.
June 5, 2021
In the mail
Today I went to the small post office near me in Connecticut -- with a big bag of signed first editions for the winners of my giveaway. I was confronted with the question, "You can send these media mail, but it's very slow." I had to think -- I bought these books for my readers, albeit at a discount, and had to buy envelopes, and cards to address and fill out. Now I have to pay to mail them. But this was all my decision. Nobody forced me to do a giveaway. So I signed up for priority mail, which, thanks to the brilliant post person Vicky, didn't cost that much more than media mail. And the winners should have their books in a few days. Nothing like semi-immediate gratification. I sent ten packages, and there is rarely a line at this post office, but by the time I was done, there were several people behind me, and Vicky had to shoo people onto the sidewalk to maintain social distancing. Sorry neighbors!! Happy reading all winners!
May 13, 2021
Giveaway!!
Hi all,
There is a new Goodreads Giveaway for Age of Consent. I will send each of the ten winners a signed, personalized first edition hardcover of the novel. Please enter and good luck to all!
There is a new Goodreads Giveaway for Age of Consent. I will send each of the ten winners a signed, personalized first edition hardcover of the novel. Please enter and good luck to all!
December 30, 2020
Reading an old favorite
I did something I never do: I signed up for a seminar! It is on Iris Murdoch's The Sea, The Sea and run by the Center for Fiction. Our teacher is Sadie Stein. I rarely do this kind of thing, mostly because I don't have much time, but also because I am self-conscious. Will it be like those small seminars in college where the professor would sweep around the table with her high beams on, and I'd pray they didn't land on me? This time I am excited. I've read this wonderful novel twice before, so maybe that is why I feel more comfortable. But what's been even more exciting is I have discovered things in the novel that I TOTALLY MISSED before! How many times do I need to read a book to really get it all? Maybe many. But it is so fun to discover new Easter Eggs. Going back to an old favorite can be very rewarding.
December 19, 2020
Giving and the USPS
Hi all,
I just ran a Goodreads Giveaway, and a couple of thousands of people entered. Ten winners were chosen.
This morning I wrote each of the winners a note, signed ten books, and packed them up individually. I went to the post office, where Brenda, our local postoffice hero, told me that if I sent them book rate, the books might take months to arrive. I loved seeing that readers were from all over the country, from Arizona to Maine! I didn't want them to wait for months, so I sent them all priority, which was not inexpensive. Our postal service is in a major crisis. I know we all have other options when it comes to mailing packages, but the post is one of this nation's oldest institutions, and should be accessible to all of us, as we all pay taxes.
That being said, it was very exciting to send ten books to ten readers. I had set this Giveaway to end so that the books would arrive in time for the holidays, but perhaps, they will be a first gift for 2021, a year that will be a year of gifts.
I just ran a Goodreads Giveaway, and a couple of thousands of people entered. Ten winners were chosen.
This morning I wrote each of the winners a note, signed ten books, and packed them up individually. I went to the post office, where Brenda, our local postoffice hero, told me that if I sent them book rate, the books might take months to arrive. I loved seeing that readers were from all over the country, from Arizona to Maine! I didn't want them to wait for months, so I sent them all priority, which was not inexpensive. Our postal service is in a major crisis. I know we all have other options when it comes to mailing packages, but the post is one of this nation's oldest institutions, and should be accessible to all of us, as we all pay taxes.
That being said, it was very exciting to send ten books to ten readers. I had set this Giveaway to end so that the books would arrive in time for the holidays, but perhaps, they will be a first gift for 2021, a year that will be a year of gifts.
December 2, 2020
Emerging
I am cautiously optimistic as I read the NY Times' timeline stating that most people should be able to have access to the vaccine by the summer. I hope this does not devolve, as I fear it may, into another horrible example of the haves and have nots, but for the first time I feel like we all may emerge from what has been a long nightmare.
October 28, 2020
Dystopia
My daughter Fiona, who is 16, wrote this article for Our Town (a local, free paper). I think it underscores how so many of us feel. Helpless, frightened, and angry. I know eventually she will forgive me for posting it! When she forgives me for all my other wrongdoings.
"I’m not quite certain when I shifted into a dystopian YA novel, but really, that is the only reasonable explanation for 2020. Let’s check the boxes, shall we? I’m sixteen years old: check (perfect age for saving the world according to authors, but not according to my mother). Eerie dystopian setting: check — a global pandemic in which everyone must remain masked and apart at all times is great world building, honestly. Authoritarian government with a villainous head of state? Also check. Extra points for the citizens dying due to governmental corruption. A growing grass-roots revolution led by the people rising against said authoritarian government? Once again, check. A beautiful and mysterious love interest? I might have to get back to you on that one. Apparently I get all the 1984 aspects of dystopia and none of the Divergent meeting-your-soulmate-at-the-ripe-old-age-of-sixteen bits.
“Unprecedented times” has become a favorite line in emails from schools and institutions over the past few months, but it still fails to capture the abnormality of being a high schooler in 2020. Stumbling through adolescence was overwhelming to begin with, but watching the world crumble around me at the same time definitely does not help. For starters, being sixteen and trapped in a house with my parents was a form of torture worthy of Sartre. Though my school opened up in person this fall, it has remained an area in which normalcy has become elusive. My junior year began in my preferred armchair at home, computer in lap, for a week of virtual orientation and virtual classes as grades were phased into the school building one by one. We were taught protocols for cleaning and rules for maintaining distance, which were reiterated during our first day in person.
I take my temperature while making breakfast, and my dad uses it to fill out a virtual form that confirms I am healthy and have not been in contact with any sick people. When I arrive at school, I show the nurse at the door the confirmation screen from this form, and she checks my temperature again. Desks are placed six feet apart, with stickers on the floor beneath them to mark the distance. Upon entering a classroom, students take a paper towel from the dispenser by the door. At the end of class, the teacher brings a spray bottle of disinfectant to spritz each desk, and the students wipe them down. The hallway functions as a conveyor belt, moving in one direction only, and the two staircases go only up and down, respectively.
Lunch is different for each grade, but the juniors order ahead of time and eat outside. Unlike many schools, mine is open in person for all grades five days a week, though students and teachers can elect to be virtual. Virtual students join the class via Zoom and are projected on the board. When teachers are remote, their in-person students all go to a designated classroom and individually join the meeting from their computers. We stay masked and six feet apart from our classmates and teachers at all times.
Attending classes in-person feels almost more alien than the virtual classes of last spring. Learning over Zoom was vastly different from any of my previous education, but returning to school under such circumstances is a constant reminder of just how atypical this really is. It is bizarre to be in the same room as my classmates and not be able to go near them. It is impossible to forget about the pandemic when every friend I look at is masked.
Despite all the rules and constraints, I’m incredibly grateful to be able to go to school in person. I’m able to see my classmates and friends, even from a distance, but more importantly I get to learn in a physical classroom rather than in a virtual one. I can confidently say I learned little to nothing in my Zoom classes this spring. Already boring classes became unbearable, and my spotty attention span and focus disappeared entirely.
Thankfully, my school was understanding of the difficulties with maintaining levels of academic achievement. In lieu of that, the school followed a pass/fail grading system for the spring. Unfortunately, as the new school year began, the normal grading system resumed. Despite the improvement of being able to attend school in person, there remain obstacles to learning and working. Being a politically aware teenager in the midst of a global pandemic, a civil rights movement, and an election which will profoundly affect our futures, is exhausting. The school’s expectation that students should perform at the same level, which was rigorous enough to begin with, amidst several global crises is entirely unreasonable. What is a due date when 1.07 million people have died worldwide? Perhaps there is a reason that characters in teen dramas and YA novels are never shown doing schoolwork. When democracy is crumbling, people are dying, and the world as we know it is fundamentally changing, must pre-calculus homework be my priority?"
"I’m not quite certain when I shifted into a dystopian YA novel, but really, that is the only reasonable explanation for 2020. Let’s check the boxes, shall we? I’m sixteen years old: check (perfect age for saving the world according to authors, but not according to my mother). Eerie dystopian setting: check — a global pandemic in which everyone must remain masked and apart at all times is great world building, honestly. Authoritarian government with a villainous head of state? Also check. Extra points for the citizens dying due to governmental corruption. A growing grass-roots revolution led by the people rising against said authoritarian government? Once again, check. A beautiful and mysterious love interest? I might have to get back to you on that one. Apparently I get all the 1984 aspects of dystopia and none of the Divergent meeting-your-soulmate-at-the-ripe-old-age-of-sixteen bits.
“Unprecedented times” has become a favorite line in emails from schools and institutions over the past few months, but it still fails to capture the abnormality of being a high schooler in 2020. Stumbling through adolescence was overwhelming to begin with, but watching the world crumble around me at the same time definitely does not help. For starters, being sixteen and trapped in a house with my parents was a form of torture worthy of Sartre. Though my school opened up in person this fall, it has remained an area in which normalcy has become elusive. My junior year began in my preferred armchair at home, computer in lap, for a week of virtual orientation and virtual classes as grades were phased into the school building one by one. We were taught protocols for cleaning and rules for maintaining distance, which were reiterated during our first day in person.
I take my temperature while making breakfast, and my dad uses it to fill out a virtual form that confirms I am healthy and have not been in contact with any sick people. When I arrive at school, I show the nurse at the door the confirmation screen from this form, and she checks my temperature again. Desks are placed six feet apart, with stickers on the floor beneath them to mark the distance. Upon entering a classroom, students take a paper towel from the dispenser by the door. At the end of class, the teacher brings a spray bottle of disinfectant to spritz each desk, and the students wipe them down. The hallway functions as a conveyor belt, moving in one direction only, and the two staircases go only up and down, respectively.
Lunch is different for each grade, but the juniors order ahead of time and eat outside. Unlike many schools, mine is open in person for all grades five days a week, though students and teachers can elect to be virtual. Virtual students join the class via Zoom and are projected on the board. When teachers are remote, their in-person students all go to a designated classroom and individually join the meeting from their computers. We stay masked and six feet apart from our classmates and teachers at all times.
Attending classes in-person feels almost more alien than the virtual classes of last spring. Learning over Zoom was vastly different from any of my previous education, but returning to school under such circumstances is a constant reminder of just how atypical this really is. It is bizarre to be in the same room as my classmates and not be able to go near them. It is impossible to forget about the pandemic when every friend I look at is masked.
Despite all the rules and constraints, I’m incredibly grateful to be able to go to school in person. I’m able to see my classmates and friends, even from a distance, but more importantly I get to learn in a physical classroom rather than in a virtual one. I can confidently say I learned little to nothing in my Zoom classes this spring. Already boring classes became unbearable, and my spotty attention span and focus disappeared entirely.
Thankfully, my school was understanding of the difficulties with maintaining levels of academic achievement. In lieu of that, the school followed a pass/fail grading system for the spring. Unfortunately, as the new school year began, the normal grading system resumed. Despite the improvement of being able to attend school in person, there remain obstacles to learning and working. Being a politically aware teenager in the midst of a global pandemic, a civil rights movement, and an election which will profoundly affect our futures, is exhausting. The school’s expectation that students should perform at the same level, which was rigorous enough to begin with, amidst several global crises is entirely unreasonable. What is a due date when 1.07 million people have died worldwide? Perhaps there is a reason that characters in teen dramas and YA novels are never shown doing schoolwork. When democracy is crumbling, people are dying, and the world as we know it is fundamentally changing, must pre-calculus homework be my priority?"
October 18, 2020
Breathless
I am trying hard to stop, take a deep breath, and calm down -- I think a lot of us are. Our world is spinning out of control, and the uncertainty of so many things (politics, planet, public health) is deeply stressful. Humans are a resilient bunch, but we feel things intensely. And it is an intense time. I am trying to live in a kind and generous way, helping friends and family in need, and counting blessings, while quelling feelings of terror and sadness. Have been reading great novels as much as I can, reminding myself of wonderful things that humans create, and trying to turn off my ADHD as much as I can,. I am working on the next novel, and think that as humans we have only one direction in which to move: forward.
