R.E. Baird's Blog

Priority Pile-Up: How to Manage Competing Priorities

I’ll never forget the first job I turned down. It was the summer of 2004, and it was for a lifeguard position at a local beach—a summer dream job for a high school student who had been working at Tim Hortons. I was so excited when they called me and offered me the position. But the thing about summer jobs is that you kind of have to work the whole summer. Taking a two-week vacation in the middle of the summer usually doesn’t fly, as I learned.

So I had a choice. I could accept the offer for my first lifeguard job, for which I worked hours to achieve the proper certificates, or go on a trip across Western Canada with my dad. My father had been planning this vacation for months—probably years, if I’m being honest—but he still gave me the option to cancel the trip and take the job.

Horseback ride to find Grizzly bears.

In the end, I decided to turn down the job and go on the trip with my dad. There would be other jobs, and there were, but there may not have been another opportunity quite like this. We drove the Trans Canada Highway across the western provinces, camped in too many parks to name, a highlight being Jasper National Park (where I was petrified we were going to be attacked in the night by cougar—spoiler alert, we weren’t), went on a horseback ride where we tracked Grizzly bears, and stayed in the smallest campground made on earth in Tofino.

Water has always been my happy place.

It was definitely a trip to remember, and not one I regret. Working as a lifeguard at a beach would have also been a rewarding experience. But I had to make a choice, and at that time in my life, going on a trip with my dad was a priority for me.

Not all priorities in life mean saying no to other opportunities. There are lots of situations where you can, and many people do try to juggle multiple priorities. But eventually, at some point, whether it’s conflicting priorities (like in the case with my summer lifeguard job), too many priorities, or a change in belief or values, there will come a time when you have to accept that certain goals are no longer serving you.

As a writer, I often hear from my writing friends about how they struggle to balance their work priorities. From marketing, newsletters, website design, and social media, to deciding which contests and publishers to submit to, and even just deciding which story idea to work on next, it can be overwhelming to know where to start or if you are ever getting ahead. But I’m sure that’s not just a writer problem. In this fast-paced world, it seems impossible to keep “on the pulse.” I think everyone is struggling to decide what they can and want to fit into their 24-hour schedule.

Are you a fan of to-do lists? I am, but sometimes they stress me out more than they help keep me organized.

Think of your to-do list as a garden. Over time, weeds grow, old plants die back, and things that once seemed important now take up valuable space. The same is true for your to-do tasks. That item that’s been lingering for months, gathering digital dust? It’s likely contributing to your overwhelm and stress.

Here are a few tips that I try when I feel like I have conflicting priorities, or am overwhelmed with the number of projects on my to-do list:

Ruthlessly Rewrite Your To-do List!Remove anything that has been on your to-do for months or that is no longer important. Be honest with yourself and don’t be afraid to erase it. Liberating that mental space is incredibly freeing.If the item has been on there for months, but you feel it’s still important. Evaluate why you haven’t completed it. Is it too big of a step? Consider breaking it into a smaller component. Instead of “revamp my website,” maybe start with, “update the Home Page on my website.”Re-evaluate Your PrioritiesIn the summer, my priority is usually beach-time

With a cleaner, more manageable to-do list, another crucial step is to ensure you are working on the right things. Conflicting priorities often arise when you haven’t clearly defined what truly matters most right now.

Take a moment to step back and ask yourself:What are my overarching goals? What am I trying to achieve in the short, medium, and long term?Which of these tasks directly contributes to those goals? Not all tasks are created equal. Some will have a far greater impact than others.What are the most urgent items? Are there any deadlines looming or time-sensitive tasks that need immediate attention?What will give me the biggest win right now? Sometimes, tackling a smaller task that yields a quick positive result can boost morale and motivation to tackle bigger things later.Don’t just blindly work through your list. Be intentional about where you invest your time and energy.Tackling 3 Tasks a DayThe “Daily Big Three” concept has really helped me power through my to-do lists without making them feel overwhelming.Each day, make sure to pick 1-2 shorter tasks (think simple like sending an e-mail or making an important phone call) and one bigger task to even out the workload! 80-20 Rule for FreelancersImage credit: Lord Belbury, CC BY-SA 4.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0, via Wikimedia CommonsAs a freelancer, priorities are a constant struggle. However, as a general rule of thumb, 80% of your income is usually generated through 20% of your customers (but this philosophy, also called the Pareto principle, doesn’t just apply to freelancing). This means you have tons of customers (or projects) that barely bring in any revenue.So, as a freelancer, once you find your niche, it’s important to start focusing your efforts and prioritize the areas that are really paying off. But don’t completely give up your other projects, especially if they are passions for you!Going With Your GutCredit goes to my brother-in-law for this hat, which comes with one of the Exploding Kittens expansion packs.

Sometimes, I just go with my gut and do what I feel like working on in that moment, and that’s okay, too (unless you have looming deadlines, of course). Guaranteed if you want to do the task, and enjoy doing it, you are going to be more successful.

Like right now, I am supposed to be working on my novel, but randomly, I decided to write this blog post, which I’ve been putting off for way too long. And as a writer or creative, or just someone who wants to feel satisfaction from the task they are completing, sometimes going with the flow is the best way to go.

Take Back Your Time and Sanity

Feeling overwhelmed by conflicting priorities and endless to-do lists is a common struggle, but it doesn’t have to be your default state. By implementing these strategies, decluttering your list, breaking down large tasks, re-evaluating your priorities, and embracing the power of the “Daily Big Three,” and the 80-20 rule, you can begin to conquer the chaos, regain control of your time, and move forward with a greater sense of clarity and accomplishment.

Start small, be consistent, and you’ll be amazed at the difference these simple shifts can make in your productivity and overall well-being. You’ve got this!

Now, I’d love to hear from you! How do you decide which project to tackle next?

How to Give Up on Your Dreams While Reaching for the Stars

2020 and 2021 were rough years, but it was 2022 that broke me. After finishing my isolating mat-leave during the height of the COVID-19 pandemic, I was faced with the harsh reality of giving up both a job and a profession that I loved. One that I was good at. One that I once called my “dream job.” It was in January 2022 that I made the decision to give up on my dreams and reach for the stars instead. It was one of the hardest decisions I’ve ever made, and the following months were undoubtedly some of the most grueling of my earthly existence thus far.

Last picture in our home in Calgary Apr 10, 2022 before the drive cross-country. We were also sick.

That decision snowballed a series of others that were equally hard to accept. I had to make the decision to sell our family home, which we had worked years to purchase, and give up the dream of my daughter growing up in that house. These types of decisions don’t always have to be life-altering. I’ve moved many times, but in this case, it was crushing. It was my dream, and I wasn’t ready to give it up.

To make matters worse, I was also faced with a series of unfortunate events, or a trial period, if you will. For anyone that’s been through hard times, you know. When shit hits you, it hits you all at once. From losing most of our possessions to an erratic moving truck driver to paying the last property owner’s water bill due to incompetent lawyers, I would need a whole novel to detail my crap luck during this period.

Trying to enjoy the sunshine in our new jungle of a yard, and being silly as always. May 11, 2022.

There were a lot of tears. There was a lot of screaming. Despite moving halfway across the country to be closer to family and friends, I still felt lonelier than ever, isolated in my own misery. However, I also have a young daughter that I have to raise, provide for, and set an example for. And if there’s one thing that I can show her, it’s resilience. Resilience in the face of the never-ending onslaught that life throws us. And so, I fought what felt like a literal battle.

Yes, this is how we drove from Calgary to Ontario. No, it is not safe (I do not recommend). But when life throws you too much, you strap everything down and hold on!

I took an approach called, throw it all out there and scream as loud as you can. I want to say it mainly fell on deaf ears, but in the far reaches of the universe, some people did hear my call. Things started to chaotically fall into place. I landed my first freelance writing gig. My first piano students started coming in. The insurance company FINALLY sent me a cheque. Sometimes you need patience, but sometimes you really do need to scream into what feels like the void. And through all this, there are a few things I learned:

Suffering is Part of the JourneyNo matter how I’m feeling, my daughter reminds me every day to stop and smell the flowers.

The acceptance of suffering isn’t a new theory, but it’s one I think we need reminding of from time to time. Whether you believe in this from a theological standpoint or philosophical, the same premise remains. To be human is to suffer. Some people suffer more than others due to a variety of factors, and some may choose to avoid suffering as best they can, but we all suffer.

The point is, whether it’s worth suffering for, and how badly you want it. No world-renowned pianist woke up one morning and decided they’d sit down and play La Campanella. There are years of practice, tears, and probably some screaming that went into that performance. Similarly, few mothers struggling with infertility found a magical solution for having children. There are many dreams that we struggle for.

Whatever your real dream job is. Whatever your real passion is. It is absolutely within your reach. It’s just a matter of how much you are willing to suffer for it. Are you willing to give up your home? Live with family? Rent for a few years? Cut back on expenses? Give up time with family? These are only decisions that you can make for yourself, and only you can decide what’s worth suffering for.

Sometimes, You Need to Make New DreamsCanada Day 2022 – in the jungle of a backyard that will one day be a gardening oasis.

Let’s be honest. Life doesn’t always turn out the way you thought. In fact, I doubt it ever does. From wanting to be a veterinarian to owning a horse farm, it doesn’t look like either of my childhood dreams is coming true, and that’s okay. I haven’t set them as real goals for myself. I haven’t been working towards them. And I most definitely am not suffering to make either of them a reality, so they aren’t that important to me. At least not right now.

In the case of my dream job and dream home, I needed to make new dreams. That part wasn’t hard, but giving up on my old dreams was. When we envision how our life is going to play out, it can be hard to let go of that reality. So, instead, I dove into my passions: music, writing, and gardening. It took time, but once I started finding success in my new dreams and things fell into place, it was easier to accept the loss of my old dreams. In the same way, the snowball of unfortunate events hit me in January 2022, a surprising turnaround snowball of events propelled me forward by July 2022, a mere six months later. Six months, that felt like the longest, hardest years of my life.

Life is Too Short to Play it SafeThis is an Alocasia I rescued July 2022 – it didn’t make it. But since they grow from corms, I didn’t give up.

And this leads to my last life lesson from the year of hell and rebirth. Life is too short to play it safe doing what you’re good at. My best friend and I made a pact when we were in university that we wouldn’t stay in Aquatics our whole lives. This isn’t because Aquatics isn’t an honorable profession – to all my friends still fighting the good fight – I miss you, and I’m still cheering you on. We made the pact, because we both knew we had other dreams and other things we wanted to achieve in life despite our success in the industry.

The same Alocasia, Oct 2022, re-potted in new soil. Sometimes, we need a literal “death”, to regrow stronger.

The world needs people to achieve their best by doing what they are great at. What you “wish you could do.” Not what you’re good at, or even what brings in the money. Sometimes, you have to give up on your dreams to reach for the stars. For the under-represented professions out there, we need more artists, more urban gardeners, and more local artisans. I’ve seen so many of my friends embrace their passions, and I want you to know that I see you, and I’m rooting for you.

The same Alocasia, May 2023. Perhaps the magical mandrake has helped it’s growth

In April 2022, we took possession of our new home. A home that’s been both a blessing and a curse. It’s hard to believe that so much has happened in a year. It feels like a lifetime, and also a horrible dream. And so, as I stare out the window on this rainy April day in 2023, I’m reminded that sometimes the best things in life come to us in the most unusual ways.

The Benefits of Writing Groups and Conferences

Four years ago, I made the decision to join a writing group. I was going through a rough time in my life, and books were an escape. I spent countless hours reading, immersed in fantasy worlds. After a few hundred books, an idea popped into my head. I could do this. I could totally write a book. And so I started writing.

About halfway through the book, I realized I had no idea what I was doing. Some of the words on the page sounded pretty cool, but I knew nothing about character development, creating tension, plotting, or pacing. Whoops! Classic rookie mistakes. You can edit until the cows come home, have a grammatically-tight manuscript, and still have a story that falls flat.

So, I made the decision to take it a step further and learn from other writers. I didn’t think a lot about it. I googled local writers groups and three came up. I chose two and tried them out. I’m not going to lie, it was pretty scary, but they were welcoming and supportive. It was nice to finally find my people.

Have You Thought About Writing?Image credit: Rikka Ameboshi via Pexels

Maybe you’ve thought about writing before but never considered taking it any further. There are some jobs we don’t encourage children to strive for. Writing is one of those things. It’s like we put authors up on pedestals with rock stars. Both being a writer and a musician seem like lofty goals that only others can achieve. But when you read an author’s beginning story, you realize that they started right where you are now—with a burning story that they need to tell the world.

A Note About WritingImage credit: Lisa Fotios via Pexels

Writers write. I know it sounds obvious but it’s a statement worth thinking about. If you want to get started but don’t know how, put some pen to paper. Don’t overthink it. Write something down. It will get easier as you go, but not starting because you think you’re not good enough is quitting before you start.

If you’ve already started writing, you may be looking for some guidance and help. The publishing industry can be difficult to navigate and it’s constantly changing. I’ve learned so much from the writing groups I’m a part of.

Here are some benefits of writing groups and conferences!

Writing Groups

Benefits

Learn from other writersNetwork with published authorsGet your work critiquedLearn about open submissions, conferences, and upcoming eventsHow to Find a Writing GroupImage credit: Alberta Romance Writers’ Association

You might be surprised how many writing groups there are. Google local writing groups and check on Facebook to see if you can find any in your area. Another place to check is the library. Some writer groups run out of the local library or community centre. If there’s a writer group in the area, the librarian should know.

If there isn’t one local to you, you might be able to find a virtual one. With the pandemic, organizations moved to Zoom and other online platforms. Some of them are now meeting in person again, but many are keeping virtual options.

The Alberta Romance Writers’ Association has virtual meetings and is open to writers in all genres. They are also celebrating 35 years of writing excellence and launching a writers guide book called, ‘Write That Book‘.

Types of Writing GroupsImage credit: Product School via Pexels

There are lots of different types of writing groups and formats. Many groups are formed based on genre—Romance, Science Fiction, Mystery etc. Some delve into the craft of writing, while others focus more on marketing and publishing. Writing group meetings may include presentations, workshops, readings, critiques, group discussions, and announcements. It’s also a great way to learn about open submissions. You’ll need to check them out to see what the local groups are doing and what works best for you.

PriceImage credit: Element5 Digital via Pexels

Many writing groups are reasonably priced. You can usually find a yearly membership for under $100CAN. Associations that require you have published works will likely have higher membership rates. As a new writer this is not what you are looking for. Find a volunteer-run group that was created to help support writers.

The First MeetingImage credit: Pixabay via Pexels

Going to your first meeting can be intimidating. They will 100% ask you what you write. Be prepared for this question. After four years, I am still not prepared for this question when people ask. Think about your answer ahead of time. Try to keep it short and sweet, like a logline. If you ramble on, not to worry, they will understand. As writers we are sometimes a little scatterbrained.

Conferences

Benefits

Network with published authors, agents, and editorsAttend presentations and workshopsOpportunity to pitch to agents and editorsOpportunity for professional editing advice and critiquesR.E. Baird, When Words Collide 2019

Being part of a writing group is the best way to stay up-to-date on the writing industry, especially locally. This is how I discovered When Words Collide—A Festival for Readers and Writers. In the picture above, I am reading my first published short story, ‘Mother Graveyard‘ in the anthology, ‘The Stories We Hide‘.

Conferences are another excellent way to network with other authors, agents, editors, and publishers. Each conference will be set-up a bit differently, but they usually all have a variety of presentations, workshops, readings, and speeches. An added benefit of conferences is that they often have pitch sessions with agents, and master classes with experienced editors. If you are interested in publishing, conferences are an excellent way to learn about your options, and maybe even meet your agent!

When Words Collide

When Words Collide has always been an affordable conference, but with the move to virtual it’s free this year. It is a conference for both readers and writers, and you can check out the program here. There may even be a small presentation from yours truly.

Get Out There and Write

If you journal, write poems, or are penning away at manuscripts that haven’t seen the light of day, maybe you are wondering where to start. Check out a local writers group and go from there. Listening to other writers can often ignite the writing flame. You never know what may inspire your writing. Get out there and explore!

Don’t forget to sign-up for When Words Collide – it’s online and FREE this year.

I’m An Owl

“See the owl in the tree, Who-oo! Whoo-oo! He is staring right at me!” – Owl in the Night by Catherine Rollin (RCM – Prep A Repertiore)

I’m an Owl. No, I don’t think I’m the wisest in forest. I don’t fly or hunt in the night. I do have an insatiable thirst for knowledge. From the youngest age I can remember, I’ve loved questions.

I’ve always loved questions. My father would tell you how ‘why’ was my favourite question of all. Probably easy questions, like, “Why do birds fly?” To which he would have responded in great detail, proud of his answer. “But why?” I would say to my father repeatedly until he could explain no more and gave up. One of the things I love about my dad the most is that he always welcomes questions. Even the hard ones. Questions are what lead to growth. Questions are what lead to understanding.

Rachel Baird, Grouse Mountain, 2017

Once we become older, this questioning, especially in Western society, is largely looked down upon. It doesn’t matter whether it’s at the mechanics, the doctor’s office, work etc. As if to question someone is to call their truth or character into question. Now, of course there are all kinds of questions, you will say. Pointed questions. Questions that trap the recipient. Questions with no real answers. Questions that aren’t really questions at all. But what I’m talking about are genuine questions. Questions from the viewpoint of the young child. From the viewpoint of trying to understand something. These types of questions should be encouraged.

I recently participated in an Elementary Piano Teaching course with the Royal Conservatory of Music. During the course, I was once again reminded about learner types. There are many different philosophies of thought on this, but I do firmly believe that as unique individuals we all learn differently. According to Keith Golay’s learner classifications in his book Learning Patterns and Temperament Styles, I’m an Owl, or a Rational student. His description is uncanny; “The Rational student shows a hunger for knowledge, is highly curious, and has unending questions of “Why?”

He then goes on to say, “Considering the nature of the Owl, there would be very few, if any, in music pedagogy.” I had to re-read that a few times. Apparently, I make up 2% of the population. It shouldn’t have been a surprise. Any learner type or personality test I’ve ever taken, I’m always the odd one out.

But I re-read it again and laughed, and then maybe cried. It was eye opening to me. Not in that I was considering a career change. I’ve always been up for a challenge. The eye opener was that this is the reason why I struggled so much with learning music when I was younger. It’s the reason why I decided to become a music teacher. And with that, my perspective on learning music changed. The traditional methods of learning music probably aren’t going to work for me, and that’s okay.

PEI, 2018

As individuals we each learn differently, and classifying this is hard too. Golay categorized the other three learner types as, Apes, Bears, and Dolphins. You may find that you relate with one or multiple learner types.

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As an Owl, I love to ask questions and I love to answer them too. I will always encourage questions. We wouldn’t have a society without them. But we also wouldn’t have the society we have today without people that like to take risks, without people that are empathetic, and without people that follow the rules. There’s a place for everyone, especially when it comes to learning music.

Click here if you’d like to learn more about my piano and music theory lessons.

I’d love to hear what you think! Which learner type(s) do you relate to? Did you discover anything about how you like to learn?

Being Thrown Up on is Part of Being a Leader

The year was 2005, and it was my first shift as a swim instructor at the Kingston Family YMCA. The little boy I was holding after a jump into the pool threw up all over me. He had eaten hot dogs and mac and cheese for dinner. I still remember the smell. Clamping down my gag reflex, I quickly exited the pool and proceeded to the showers. I may have also had an educational conversation with his mother about the importance of timing eating and swimming lessons. (Little did I know, at sixteen years old, how hard it is as a mother to try to coordinate that.)

(2005 – I don’t have any photos from the YMCA, but I did find this gem)

I’m pretty sure my entire handling of the situation is the reason I was promoted to Team Leader. No, I’m joking. That doesn’t happen after one shift. There was a whole team of Instructors, Lifeguards, and Supervisors that pulled together to evacuate and clean the pool. My point is, being thrown up on is part of being a leader. I mean this in both the figurative and literal sense, especially if you work with children. Heck even teens—we’ll get to that later.

We’ve all heard the difference between a manager and a leader. In the simplest terms, a manager tells you what to do, and a leader shows you what to do. Who would you want to follow? Someone who commands your respect, potentially without earning it, or someone who leads by example.

Part of that difference between being a manager and being a leader means taking the crap, vomit—sometimes literally. The managers that I’ve always looked up to are the ones that are willing to slog it in the trenches with the front-line staff. They SHOW you what to do and how to handle those hard situations.

Conclusion

The first lesson I learned about being a good leader is knowing how and when to fill-in for your front-line employees. And maybe knowing when not to tell people to jump. If you’re a manager and you can’t assist your front-line employees, chances are, they don’t respect you. It’s no wonder that there’s been a push for managers to be better leaders.

What qualities do you look for in a manager?

Me and my daughter, Davina (age 8 months)

A bit about me:

If you don’t know me, I’ve worked in management with various recreation facilities across Canada for sixteen years. I have a Bachelor of Arts Degree in Philosophy and Drama from Queens University. In the past few years, I have also explored my interest in writing speculative fiction and have published a few short stories. Recently, I have dove back into another passion of mine which is music. More announcements shortly on that front. I am also a passionate vegan of sixteen years and at the time of writing this, a mother to a beautiful one year old girl.

I have created this blog to share my experiences in teaching, leadership, philosophy, and music. I’m sorry to say that I probably have more vomit stories than good stories. This isn’t a blog about how I was the best leader. Lots of times I probably wasn’t, and I’ve made my fair share of poor choices. I hope you can all learn something from my mistakes and have a laugh along the way. Although my background is primarily in recreation, I am hoping my stories will relate to individuals in all fields of work. Full disclosure, I will probably also share the occasional vegan recipe.

I hope you participate in the conversation—tell me when you agree and when you don’t! I love a good conversation.