Joshua Todd James's Blog, page 2
September 4, 2024
The Danger - In AFTER DINNER CONVERSATION
My first published short story, THE DANGER, is now available in the lit magazine AFTER DINNER CONVERSATION.
It’s available as a hard copy or an ebook. It’s a fascinating magazine in so many respects. Each submission must have a philosophical or ethical question at its core.
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The issue with my story is out now; you can get it here: AFTER DINNER CONVERSATION.
And there is, uh… adult language therein. Just sayin’.
Order now! - AFTER DINNER CONVERSATION
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Check out my series of spec fiction novels - The COMPANION CHRONICLES!
PRAISE FOR SOME ANIMALS
"SOME ANIMALS is a non-stop sci-fi thrill ride that will keep you reading far into the night. Joshua Todd James fills the page with cinematic action sequences and snappy dialogue, all anchored by a compelling protagonist that reflects so much of who we are today." - Mike Nguyen Le (screenwriter/producer, PATIENT Z, DARK SUMMER, W.M.D.)
"Doing noir as sci-fi is a real challenge, and this ambitious book pulls it off!"- David Gerrold, Hugo & Nebula award-winning author of THE MARTIAN CHILD, HELLA, THE MAN WHO FOLDED HIMSELF
"SOME ANIMALS blew my mind. Joshua is the master of moralistic pathos. It's a pathos steeped in a personal code of ethics in each of his characters. Joshua's brilliance is in setting these characters careening down a track fueled by their pathos and the fun happens when characters with opposing drives collide in an action-packed train-wreck of ethics, desires and dreams. Do. Not. Miss. This. Book." - Ato Essandoh, actor (star of Netflix's ALTERED CARBON, AWAY, Amazons TALES FROM THE LOOP, HBO's VINYL, and many more)
"Joshua Todd James has created a compelling protagonist, a fascinating story universe and a suspenseful mystery, all in one, in his new novel SOME ANIMALS. Think of it as sci-fi nitro in book form. Highly recommended!" - Scott Myers, screenwriter (K-9), author (THE PROTAGONIST'S JOURNEY), professor at DuPaul University and founder of GoIntoTheStory.com
"Joshua Todd James delivers a one of a kind sci-fi thrill ride. The depth of its characters and its world are remarkable, especially given how quickly it reads." - Nathan Graham Davis, author of MALICE AND MISTLETOE
"I started reading SOME ANIMALS at 7 AM and didn't stop until I was finished. Joshua Todd James has created a vibrant, fiery futuristic world that we instantly believe in, and characters that hook us deep for this truly wild ride. But this is much more than a cracking good 'Who done it?' It's a story that breaks both boundaries and stereotypes all along the way. Start reading. You won't put it down." - Naomi Wallace, playwright, screenwriter and MacArthur Fellow (aka the Genius Grant).
"I love sci-fi and I love hardboiled detective stories. This is both, but it's even more. Sci-fi has always been the best place to take on real world issues, and Joshua Todd James takes on a lot of those in SOME ANIMALS. In this book, he serves up a strong cocktail, shaken from Chandler and Asimov, leaving me with the impression that someone just punched me in the face with a new cut of BLADE RUNNER." - Yuri Lowenthal, actor MARVEL'S SPIDER-MAN, NARUTO, BEN 10, RAVE MASTER, LEGION OF SUPERHEROES
"Joshua Todd James is a beautiful writer whose compelling, intelligent, and evocative sci-fi brings to mind the work of Isaac Asimov and Andy Weir. SOME ANIMALS weaves a propulsive plot that keeps you turning the pages with the themes that make for our finest speculative fiction—among them, what it means to be human. This exciting story is not one to be missed!" - Martin Aguilera, author and screenwriter, Netflix's THE CRAVING.
"SOME ANIMALS is an intriguing exploration of a future that is moving, tense and which reflects back, heartbreakingly so, on our present-day society." - Dwayne Alexander Smith, bestselling author of FORTY ACRES and THE UNKIND HOURS.
"SOME ANIMALS is a sci-fi novella that had me smiling throughout. It's fun. It's smart. It's thought-provoking, and most of all it's entertaining as all get out!"~Bill Rodemeyer, co-author of the novels Juvenile X, Suckerfish City and Twilight Pulp-Short Reads for Twisted Minds
"The Fugitive meets Blade Runner, SOME ANIMALS is a fast paced near-future Science Fiction thriller about an android "companion" accused of his human's murder and goes on the run and it really delivers." - William C. Martell, screenwriter (19 produced films thus far, and still counting) and author of the hugely popular Blue Book series on screenwriting.
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July 12, 2024
I Write Novels...
I’m told I should be plugging these novels more.
If you like novels, specifically if you like sci-fi thrillers, perhaps you’d like the ones I have written as well. You can find them here: THE COMPANION CHRONICLES
If you read my novels and enjoy them, please tell your friends and leave reviews.
Thank you, all… the novels are available here: THE COMPANION CHRONICLES
PRAISE FOR SOME ANIMALS
"SOME ANIMALS is a non-stop sci-fi thrill ride that will keep you reading far into the night. Joshua Todd James fills the page with cinematic actions sequences and snappy dialogue, all anchored by a compelling protagonist that reflects so much of who we are today." - Mike Nguyen Le (screenwriter/producer, PATIENT Z, DARK SUMMER, W.M.D.)
"Doing noir as sci-fi is a real challenge and this ambitious book pulls it off!"- David Gerrold, Hugo & Nebula award-winning author of THE MARTIAN CHILD, HELLA, THE MAN WHO FOLDED HIMSELF
"SOME ANIMALS blew my mind. Joshua is the master of moralistic pathos. It's a pathos steeped in a personal code of ethics in each of his characters. Joshua's brilliance is in setting these characters careening down a track fueled by their pathos and the fun happens when characters with opposing drives collide in an action-packed train-wreck of ethics, desires and dreams. Do. Not. Miss. This. Book." - Ato Essandoh, actor (star of Netflix's ALTERED CARBON, AWAY, Amazons TALES FROM THE LOOP, HBO's VINYL, and many more)
"Joshua Todd James has created a compelling protagonist, a fascinating story universe and a suspenseful mystery, all in one, in his new novel SOME ANIMALS. Think of it as sci-fi nitro in book form. Highly recommended!" - Scott Myers, screenwriter (K-9), author (THE PROTAGONIST'S JOURNEY), professor at DuPaul University and founder of GoIntoTheStory.com
"Joshua Todd James delivers a one of a kind sci-fi thrill ride. The depth of its characters and its world are remarkable, especially given how quickly it reads." - Nathan Graham Davis, author of MALICE AND MISTLETOE
"I started reading SOME ANIMALS at 7 AM and didn't stop until I was finished. Joshua Todd James has created a vibrant, fiery futuristic world that we instantly believe in, and characters that hook us deep for this truly wild ride. But this is much more than a cracking good 'Who done it?' It's a story that breaks both boundaries and stereotypes all along the way. Start reading. You won't put it down." - Naomi Wallace, playwright, screenwriter and MacArthur Fellow (aka the Genius Grant).
"I love sci-fi and I love hardboiled detective stories. This is both, but it's even more. Sci-fi has always been the best place to take on real world issues, and Joshua Todd James takes on a lot of those in SOME ANIMALS. In this book, he serves up a strong cocktail, shaken from Chandler and Asimov, leaving me with the impression that someone just punched me in the face with a new cut of BLADE RUNNER." - Yuri Lowenthal, actor MARVEL'S SPIDER-MAN, NARUTO, BEN 10, RAVE MASTER, LEGION OF SUPERHEROES
"Joshua Todd James is a beautiful writer whose compelling, intelligent, and evocative sci-fi brings to mind the work of Isaac Asimov and Andy Weir. SOME ANIMALS weaves a propulsive plot that keeps you turning the pages with the themes that make for our finest speculative fiction—among them, what it means to be human. This exciting story is not one to be missed!" - Martin Aguilera, author and screenwriter, Netflix's THE CRAVING.
"SOME ANIMALS is an intriguing exploration of a future that is moving, tense and which reflects back, heartbreakingly so, on our present-day society." - Dwayne Alexander Smith, bestselling author of FORTY ACRES and THE UNKIND HOURS.
"SOME ANIMALS is a sci-fi novella that had me smiling throughout. It's fun. It's smart. It's thought-provoking, and most of all it's entertaining as all get out!"~Bill Rodemeyer, co-author of the novels Juvenile X, Suckerfish City and Twilight Pulp-Short Reads for Twisted Minds
"The Fugitive meets Blade Runner, SOME ANIMALS is a fast paced near-future Science Fiction thriller about an android "companion" accused of his human's murder and goes on the run and it really delivers." - William C. Martell, screenwriter (19 produced films thus far, and still counting) and author of the hugely popular Blue Book series on screenwriting.
Thanks for reading Hard Rolls! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work.
July 4, 2024
I AM AMERICA
Note: First written and performed in 2003, close to the eve of the Iraq Invasion.
I Am America
CHARACTERS:
Four people (can be male or female) designated thusly as –
AMERICA
LIBERTY
TRUTH
JUSTICE
The characters address the audience directly. I will admit that I’ve always thought of Liberty as female (something to do with the statue, I guess) and Justice as male (something to do with Judge Moore in Alabama), so that may come through in the dialogue a bit, but you should feel free to cast whatever sex, age or race of actor as you please. You can give them signs or t-shirts to designate character or leave it up to the audience’s imagination in terms of their individual names.
LIGHTS UP
AMERICA: I am America, land of the free.
LIBERTY: And we only had to kill and subjugate four or five million Native Americans to do it.
TRUTH: It wasn’t completely free, I mean, we had to give some of the little buckskin-wearing buggers a bunch of shiny beads and whiskey, I think it set us back about three bucks or so, just for Manhattan alone. So it wasn’t THAT free.
JUSTICE: Land of the free, but not land of the free health insurance, that canker sore on your face, that’s going to cost you.
AMERICA: I am America, where all men are created equal.
LIBERTY: And women get to do the dishes.
TRUTH: America, where it took only two hundred years for a civil rights movement, a movement that met with much resistance, in fact there are people in office as we speak who still doubt that it was a good idea.
JUSTICE: In fact, some elected officials think that Strom Thurmond retired far too early.
LIBERTY: Even though he’s dead.
AMERICA: I am America, where the separation of Church and State is the law and freedom of religion is sacred.
JUSTICE: As long as you pagan pig-fuckers remember that we are one Nation, UNDER GOD, that’s what it says in the Pledge of Allegiance, and don’t you fucking forget it. UNDER GOD.
TRUTH: You have the freedom to believe what you want as long as you believe in Jesus.
LIBERTY: And please keep in mind that Jesus was white, blond, and blue-eyed.
JUSTICE: I don’t care where he was born, he’s the son of God, he has to be white, don’t give me any of this garbage that there weren’t any white people in the Middle East back then because I don’t give a good crap. America’s Jesus is WHITE.
AMERICA: I am America, where any child can grow up to be President someday.
JUSTICE: As long as he’s either a Republican or Democrat, reads the Bible every day, comes from family money, and attended an Ivy League school where he achieved at least a “C” average, then he can be President.
LIBERTY: And as long as HE is a HE and not a SHE, then your child can be president.
TRUTH: Our corporate sponsors tell us that we’re not going to be ready for a female President for quite some time, HOWEVER, in forty or fifty years we could very well see a Jewish President (because they believe in God, too) or maybe, just maybe, even a black President.
LIBERTY: As long he or she only looks black but is still able to think rich and white, i.e., Condoleeza Rice.
AMERICA: I am America, where every vote counts.
TRUTH: They do COUNT the votes.
LIBERTY: They don’t mean anything, but they do COUNT them.
JUSTICE: Your vote does count unless one of the candidates is the son of a previous president who also ran the CIA and, therefore, knows where a lot of bodies are buried; then that counts more than your vote counts.
TRUTH: And if one of the candidates is related to a Governor of a swing state, then that counts more than your vote counts.
LIBERTY: And if one of the candidates happens to be VERY good friends with the guy that owns the machines that count the votes all across the country, then that counts more than anything else counts.
AMERICA: I am America, where freedom of speech is guaranteed.
JUSTICE: Hey, it’s America, you can say what you want. Now shut the fuck up.
TRUTH: You can say what you want. Just be careful of what you’re saying.
LIBERTY: And who you’re saying it to.
JUSTICE: And don’t criticize our leaders, regardless of how badly they may read the teleprompter or how poorly they equip our troops.
TRUTH: And don’t burn the flag, let it touch the ground or turn your back on it.
LIBERTY: You can protest in America; just don’t protest about America.
AMERICA: I am America, and I support the spread of democracy around the world.
TRUTH: Except in Saudi Arabia, China, Lebanon, Jordan, Turkey, Taiwan, Tibet, most of Central and South America, and parts of Africa.
LIBERTY: And Texas.
JUSTICE: We make too much money there to bother with democracy.
AMERICA: I am America, and I fight for those who cannot fight for themselves.
TRUTH: Except in Saudi Arabia, China, Lebanon, Jordan, Turkey, Taiwan, Tibet, most of Central and South America, and parts of Africa.
LIBERTY: And Texas.
JUSTICE: We make too much money there to bother with human rights.
AMERICA: I am America, and I invaded Iraq to bring freedom to the Iraqi people.
JUSTICE: There was a lot of money being made there and we weren’t seeing one red cent of it. Not only that, but Saddam was an evil prick. He imprisoned, tortured, and killed his own people.
TRUTH: He can’t do that to his people.
LIBERTY: Only we can do that to his people.
AMERICA: I am America, and every citizen of America has the inalienable right to freedom, life, and the pursuit of happiness.
TRUTH: Unless you’re poor and you need health care.
LIBERTY: Unless you’re a woman and you want equal pay and opportunities.
JUSTICE: Unless you’re a homo and you want to serve in the armed forces or get married.
TRUTH: Unless you’re neither a Republican nor a Democrat and yet would still like to be represented by Congress.
LIBERTY: Unless you’re over the age of sixty-five and you need affordable prescription medication.
JUSTICE: Unless you refuse to believe in God.
TRUTH: Unless you’re eighteen years old, able to get drafted, but not able to get a drink in a bar.
JUSTICE: Unless you suddenly find yourself classified as an “enemy combatant”.
TRUTH: Unless you’re lacking in corporate sponsorship.
LIBERTY: Unless you’re in Texas.
AMERICA: I am America, and I am at War.
JUSTICE: We are fighting a war for our way of life.
LIBERTY: We are fighting a war for truth and justice.
TRUTH: We are fighting a war overseas to avoid having to fight a war here at home.
AMERICA: I am America, and I am at War.
TRUTH: If we don’t fight this war, then sooner or later, everyone is going to wonder why we haven’t caught the people responsible for the destruction of the World Trade Center, and we can’t have that.
LIBERTY: If we don’t fight this war, sooner or later, everyone’s going to realize just how dumb and ineffective the guy sitting in the White House really is. Sooner or later, mistakes our leaders made that cost the lives of Americans at home and abroad will have to be accounted for, and we can’t have that.
JUSTICE: If we don’t fight someone else, then sooner or later, we’re going to have to fight each other. And our corporate sponsors can’t have that.
TRUTH: We need this war.
LIBERTY: We need this war.
JUSTICE: We need this war.
TRUTH: War is a good thing.
LIBERTY: War is a good thing.
JUSTICE: War is a good thing.
AMERICA: I am America, and I am at War.
BLACK OUT.
I AM AMERICA NOTES
I find that the piece works best when delivered like an upbeat “Rock The Vote” commercial or like what you see onstage at a typical Republican Convention.
The first performance of the piece at No Shame Theatre No York was February 28th, 2003, with the following cast:
Maggie Bell as Liberty
Dan Brooks as Justice
Joshua Peskay as Truth
Joshua James as America
Performed at No Shame Goes To War (Los Angeles) on March 8, 2003. Directed by John James Hickey, with the following cast: Tory Seiter, Mike Rothschild, Jenn Cousin
Performed at No Shame Goes To War (Charlottesville) on March 21, 2003, by Vanessa Brown, Chris Estey, Todd Ristau, and Seth Silverman.
Performed at No Shame Goes To War (Charleston) on March 21, 2003. Performed by Amber, Betsy Johns, Rachel Lewin, Hilary C.
Performed at No Shame Goes To War (Austin), on March 22, 2003, by Jonathan Morrow, Kate Caldwell, Keely Williams and Wetzel Parker.
I AM AMERICA received its professional world premiere in the summer of 2005 at The City Theatre in Miami, Florida, as part of their Summer Shorts Festival. J. Barry Lewis directed the production.
When I read this piece today, I was taken aback. I mean, I wrote that the country would be ready for a black President before a female President, and look where we’re at now—yikes. It’s just amazing to look back at this ten years later.
When it was produced in Miami, they only used one actor for all four parts (I don’t agree with that choice, myself; I see them as all separate characters), and the actor refused to say the line “Only we can do that to his people” referencing America torturing Iraqis because he thought it was in poor taste, I guess, and because America would never, ever torture.
Ironic, given what we know about the war today.
But I consider it a significant accomplishment that this play was produced in Jeb Bush’s back yard in 2005.
If anyone wishes to do the play today, you have my permission to change or cut the specific line “Unless you’re a homo and want to serve in the armed forces or get married” because happily, gays can openly serve in the military and get married today.
And you may tweak the lines regarding catching who was responsible for the WTC and how dumb the guy in the President’s office is, etc… since that has changed. That’s the thing about writing these political pieces, if we’re lucky, we make progress.
Progress is always a good thing.
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June 29, 2024
Self-Defense Is A Circle
Self-defense is a circle that begins and ends with one thing only.
If you were my martial arts student, this would be the first thing you would hear. All students, no matter their background, no matter their ability or size, from age three to ninety years old, learn about the self-defense circle.
Techniques, evasions, attacks, counters, and so on, all of which are dependent upon the age and background of the student. But the circle does not. It’s one constant for everyone in the class.
Circles are sacred.
I don’t employ the word sacred often; it’s overused and abused, but it happens to be true in this instance. Circles have been viewed as sacred throughout our existence.
Like the number zero (also a circle) which is both everything and nothing, so too are circles. Think of your circle of friends. When we huddle, we do so in a circle. We circle our wagons. Circle around the campfire.
The Yin-Yang symbol on kung fu practitioners' jackets is a deliberate circle.
Even if you don’t believe in sacred things or that they’re a bunch of hooey, thinking about self-defense as a circle is a very helpful mental guide.
It’s also a simple way for youngsters to remember what to do. But you need to know exactly what the first and last steps, which are also the steps in between, actually are.
It goes as thus:
SELF-DEFENSE IS A CIRCLE THAT BEGINS AND ENDS WITH VOICE.Got that? I want to make sure you understand what I am saying, so I will repeat it, which is the same thing I do when I teach young people how to defend themselves.
Self-defense is a circle that begins and ends with VOICE.
Say that to yourself, see how it feels.
Self-defense is a circle. It begins and ends with VOICE.
Students have to state it out loud and own it. Understand and embrace it. Voice is the first weapon, the one in the middle and the one at the end, too.
What does it mean, exactly? Simply enough, use your voice to stop someone from harassing, potentially assaulting, or harming you.
It’s a constant reminder that one must SPEAK OUT.
If someone is bothering us deliberately, we tell them to STOP.
If someone is specifically harassing us, we tell them to LEAVE US ALONE.
If someone threatens us with physical harm, we TELL our teachers, our parents, coaches, and trusted friends about the threat… if need be, we call the police.
We do not stay silent when we are in danger.
The process of defending yourself begins with VOICE.
That’s the beginning. It’s also the end, too.
MY PAST CIRCLEMy prime motivation for training in the martial arts is self-defense. There’s a reason I’ve spent most of my life studying various methods of martial arts and combat.
I don’t care about trophies, medals, or belts (I don’t have any issues with them, either) nearly like I do the protection of the self. It’s the main reason I train.
The first time I was assaulted, I was a child and didn’t know how to speak out. No one taught me how or encouraged me. This was the era of “kids should be seen and not heard,” mind you.
So I said nothing. Because I did not know that I could, much less that I should. Didn’t tell my folks or any teacher, I told no one. It would happen again later, of course, via other hands and other ways. Again and again throughout adolescence. So another circle was birthed… a circle of trauma and abuse. I was trapped.
It stayed that way until I stepped into a new circle, one of self-defense.
This isn’t about me, my trauma, or my circle. There are many others who have suffered more than I have. I was born of two such people, in fact, who had. It’s not, and should never be, a contest.
I only mention it so those reading understand that this is not theoretical for me. I have a past, as we all do, a future, and, more importantly, a present in which I’m a father of two young boys who wants them to grow up safely and responsibly.
I developed this program for THEM, to teach them how to PROTECT THEMSELVES using tools THEY ALREADY POSSESS.
And to understand that they will always have a voice, the first, second, and third tool in their self-defense circle.
STEP ONE IN THE CIRCLE - TELL THEM NOIf someone is threatening you, attacking you verbally or physically, the first step is to TELL THEM to stop.
Use your voice. It is surprisingly hard for many of us. Not just children, but all folks of all ages. We are pack animals, we humans, after all. We want everyone to get along, and to stand out, to make noise, especially against an alpha in our pack, that is something we’re biologically wired to avoid.
Children are taught, after all, to listen and do what adults say. We want them to speak up for themselves, but we spend nearly every hour of their day telling them to shut up and stay quiet.
We must teach them to use their words to protect themselves, too.
I ask my students to practice saying the following:
“Please leave me alone.”
“Stop bothering me.”
“Please don’t do that. You’re making me feel UNCOMFORTABLE.”
“LEAVE ME ALONE!”
“I SAID STOP BOTHERING ME!”
“SOMEONE HELP, CALL THE POLICE!”
That is simple, but it’s often far from easy, especially for young kids, but adults, too. It’s hard for many to draw attention to themselves or to even directly engage in conflict. It’s hard for some folks to speak up.
So I teach them to practice speaking up for themselves. Every class.
You can and should do that, too. Parents, practice this with your children. Tell them it’s okay, in fact, encourage them. Practice it yourself. And give yourself permission, too. It’s important.
STEP TWO IN THE CIRCLE - SCREAM AT THEMVoice is not just the beginning or the end, it’s the middle part, too.
When we’re being attacked, screaming is one of the best options for defense. Especially if you’re smaller, younger, and more vulnerable. Predators want easy targets. They don’t want attention. They don’t want eyes upon them. Screaming because someone grabbed you, attempting to pull you somewhere dark, is the best way to get them to release you.
And it’s POWERFUL if you allow it. Sensei Dawn Callan writes that a Kia (the Japanese term for a warrior scream) unlocks the freeze element in our biology. Like all mammals, our instinct when in danger is flight, fight, or freeze.
Too often in this modern era, we freeze when attacked (for more on why we do that, check out Sensei Dawn’s book AWAKENING THE WARRIOR WITHIN), which is the wrong thing to do.
The Kia unlocks you from your freeze state, Sensei Dawn teaches us. It helps you relax and utilize other techniques to fight back, be it running, striking, biting, or kicking, to survive. The Kia gives you POWER, too.
We roar like lions in every class. I tell them it’s their life in their hands. To view it as if it’s the last sound they’ll be allowed to make, so it has to count. And they do. Make a noise that rattles the world.
STEP THREE IN THE CIRCLE - TELL SOMEONE WHAT HAPPENEDThe sad, ugly truth about fights, assaults, and attacks is that no matter how much we train and how prepared we are, we are all human. No one is omnipotent. We could do everything right and still get assaulted. As Mr. Miyagi says in THE KARATE KID, yeah, he knows karate, but “someone always know more.”
This is true. No one is invulnerable. Anyone can be hurt.
We begin as young, frail children, and after peaking physically for a number of years, we age. Our bodies break down, injuries accumulate, and physical limitations settle in. Sometimes, we’re limited straight out of the gate.
You could get beaten up. You could be injured or assaulted in awful ways.
That’s a risk in a big wide world.
I’ve been training in unarmed combat for three-quarters of my life. I’ve won fights and lost fights. It could still happen. My body could fail. Anyone can be beaten under the right circumstances. Anyone.
It’s what you do after, however, that defines you. If you were attacked, assaulted, and injured, and you say nothing to anyone who cares about you, you’re injuring yourself even more. Speak out and tell someone what happened.
My boys know they can talk to me about issues like this and, more importantly, that they have to.
They’re not to worry about getting into trouble with me, about the person who did this hurting me (and my boys laugh at that; to be honest, they’re not really worried about anyone trying to hurt me), or about being embarrassed or ashamed. We speak about it often—not just once, not just twice.
Often. I encourage other parents to do the same. Allow your children to understand the power of their voice.
As long as one survives, they’re in control of their life's narrative, not the attacker's. They can use their voice, speak out, and keep speaking out over and over. They can prevent it from happening to others, educate potential victims on who and what to avoid (don’t meet Harvey in his hotel room and don’t take Cosby up on his offer of a drink), and, most importantly, speak out and defend their spirit.
Author and martial artist Steven Barnes calls this “defending the inner child.”
Defend the child inside of you as if they’re your own child because, well, they are. And if someone assaulted your child and got away, you’d scream to the heavens above and to hell below to let them know it wasn’t their fault and you were gonna do everything you could to ensure it wouldn’t happen again.
So, for the adults out there, teach your kids how to stand up and defend themselves AS YOU WOULD DEFEND THEM and defend yourself AS YOU WOULD DEFEND YOUR CHILD.
Self-defense is a circle. It begins and ends with VOICE.
Now, I can already hear some wise-asses reading this and working up some snark. They’re thinking, “Three steps, that’s a triangle, dude, it’s a pyramid, not a dang circle, innit?”
If life moved in straight lines, it would be. But life rarely, if ever, moves straight. It curves, bends, and wanders. And eventually, like a hiker in the woods just exploring without a map or compass, you end up where you began. Nearly always.
If you don’t choose a destination, that’s what will happen.
Even if you do, you still end up where you began. Smaller, more frail, on the edge of death, little hair on your head, no teeth, almost exactly like the baby you were when you began this ride, except on the inside, where you have dominion.
So no, life is a circle with one point meeting another, connected by a long life-preserving scream.
Make that voice of yours matter. Make it your everything.
Make the voice that completes your circle be yours.
June 12, 2024
CONVERSATIONS WITH VAN DAMME - Part 6
Another CONVERSATION WITH VAN DAMME
(For the reader, I wrote a movie that JCVD starred in called POUND OF FLESH. I’ve also written a few other projects for him that have yet to be made, so I’ve got a ton of voicemail and video messages from him, in addition to occasional phone calls out of the blue. It’s a surreal experience to have a guy you once had posters of decorating your college dorm room call you. But that’s the biz. JC is a unique, eccentric man. Conversations with him cannot truly be described, only experienced. What follows may have or have not happened, per se, but it is true to the spirit of JCVD interactions. Consider this fiction with a dose of the real, and you can decide for yourself which is which. Myself, I ain’t saying except where specifically noted.)
2 pm. Phone rings. It’s JCVD.
JCVD: Joshua? Are you there?
ME: Yes, JC, how are you, good to see you, what’s—
JCVD: Joshua my friend, I need your help, I’m in Hong Kong now, working on movie, and I need you to help me with something.
ME: Absolutely, what can I do for you? Is it a script problem, or…
JCVD: No, we are trying to remember a certain bird. Can you help us?
ME: With a bird?
JCVD: A bird. A very special bird. For the movie.
ME: Okay, what kind of special bird?
JCVD: You know that bird from the Jurassic Park movie, not the first one, the third one I think, the bird, the flying dinosaur bird?
ME: Oh. Yeah. You mean, pterodactyl?
JCVD: Aha, that’s it, that’s fucking it, yes! Thank you, Joshua! (SPEAKS FAST FRENCH TO SOMEONE UNSEEN, GLOATING). I could not think of the name of this special bird. Driving me crazy. Ah. Pterodactylal, yes?
ME: Yes. What—
JCVD: Pterodactyl, I told you (MORE FRENCH). You saved the day. How do you spell Pterodactyl?
ME: Oh, uh… let’s see… (GOOGLE IS MY FRIEND). Okay, here it is. P. T. E.
JCVD: T…
ME: Starts with a P.
JCVD: T… then… P.
ME: P is the first letter in the name.
JCVD: P?
ME: P.
JCVD: Why P? It’s not Perry-dactyl, it’s Terry-dactyL, yes?
ME: Yes, but…
JCVD: So why the fuck is there a P in the name?
ME: The P is silent.
JCVD: Silent?
ME: Yeah, it’s silent, we don’t pronounce it, we just spell it with it.
(PAUSE)
JCVD: English is fucked up.
ME: I agree. I’ll send you a link with the word, so you can see how it’s spelled.
JCVD: Joshua, even more, where is it can I find this bird?
ME: Find it? Uh, they may have a skeleton in the Museum of Natural History…
JCVD: Not the bones, I want this bird. For the project.
ME: You want a real pterodactyl?
JCVD: Yes, of course! What good are the bones for a movie? I need the special bird.
ME: JC, pterodactyls are extinct.
JCVD: Ex-what?
ME: Extinct.
JCVD: They stink?
ME: No, extinct, E.X.T.I.N.C.T. It means they died out.
JCVD: They’re all dead? All of them?
ME: Yeah, like… thousands of years ago.
(PAUSE. JC SCREAMS AT SOMEONE UNSEEN IN FRENCH. IT GOES ON AND ON FOR QUITE A FEW MINUTES).
ME: JC, you okay? JC?
JCVD: I am here, Joshua. Thank you. They’re all dead, every one?
ME: I’m afraid so.
JCVD: Fuck. So perfect for the movie, too. So that’s why they use the “P” in the name and make it silent. Because these birds, these dinosaur birds, are forever silent. Fuck.
(HANGS UP)
(I FRANTICALLY GOOGLE WHY THERE’S A “P” IN PTERODACTYL)
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June 9, 2024
MINORITY OF ONE
My book MINORITY OF ONE is part of a free promotion today. You can get the ebook version FREE today and tomorrow. Please check it out and leave a review.
Get the novel here: MINORITY OF ONE
Every review helps, friends, so thank you in advance!
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June 7, 2024
FIRST REVIEW - DOMO ARIGATO, MISTER ROBOTO
First Review! From Jim’s Sci-Fi Blog:
“I have taken this journey through all sorts of situations, both good and bad, from the beginning. It is one of the most compelling sagas I have ever read. It is emotionally charged spanning all levels of emotional engagement, and I found myself angry at the level of cruelty humans are capable of, not only to Jacob, but to each other as well.
Jacob's saga will make one think, reflect, and introspect on what it means to be human, as well as being inhumane to those lesser than us.
In this final book he brings the story to a close with another story that answers all the questions raised in the previous installments. It is full of characters a reader can care about, and a few that are appalling. If you choose to read, keep your eyes open for some surprises that knocked me out of my chair when I reached them. There is plenty of action, suspense, and compassion to keep any reader engaged and entertained.”
Read the rest here: Jim’s Sci-Fi Blog
And thanks, Jim, for the kind words!
June 6, 2024
Oral History of Gremlins
This oral history of the making of GREMLINS is highly worthy of being read. You can find the article here: ORAL HISTORY OF GREMLINS
Gremlins was such a unique blockbuster for so many reasons, but Phoebe Cates’ monologue about why she hates Christmas must be number one on the list.
Remember, this was a studio picture aimed at kids and teens. Here’s the scene:
I made it halfway through a new film last night, a sci-fi film (I will not mention the title; those who worked on it worked hard, and I honor that work) before turning it off. And I should have liked it. It had performances, ideas, and sequences that were all well-polished and executed. What was wrong with it?
Well, everything was over-explained. EVERYTHING. Three or four times.
They didn’t just decide, “Don’t feed them after midnight,” and let it go.
There’s a worry that audiences won’t understand everything, and it’s all they worry about, but in my opinion, it’s more important to worry about whether or not the audience is being entertained.
Hell, as a kid, I didn’t know why Darth Vader wore a mask (I didn’t even realize he was human until we got to Hoth) or how the Force worked. I just enjoyed the ride.
I feel like everything is overdeveloped and overcooked these days.
No one but Spielberg and Dante wanted to make this movie, which ended up being the third-grossing film of 1984. The above speech is only in the movie due to Joe Dante; everyone else wanted to cut it. Now, it’s part of the reason we’ll remember the film forever. It swung big.
If there’s a lesson here, it’s that I wish those who financed movies swung big more often. Sometimes, what looked like a possible base hit or bunt turns into a homer.
Sometimes, one has to let artists speak and express themselves without worrying whether or not everyone will understand. Because letting the uniqueness speak is what really turns a neat idea into a timeless classic.
Read it here: ORAL HISTORY OF GREMLINS
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June 4, 2024
THE THREAD
THE THREAD 1
Teetering
on a thread
between abject pain
and oblivion
several thoughts roll through my mind
the first being
that I can go neither
forward or backward
the second
that any sudden violent moves
on my part
is sure to sever the thread
The third
that even if I remain still
sooner or later
the thread will break all on its own
and I will tumble
into the abyss
so
shouldn't I just jump?
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1First published in 2 VERY DANGEROUS PEOPLE SHARING 1 SMALL SPACE
June 1, 2024
GUESTING ON FIGHTS WITH FRIENDS
My friends Steve and Paul invited me to appear on their new podcast, FIGHTS WITH FRIENDS. Both men are excellent martial artists whom I’ve known for years. They’re also professional stuntmen (and yes, you have seen their work unless you live under a rock) and simply a joy to hang out with.
They wanted to chat about my film POUND OF FLESH, they had questions, and I had some (hopefully) answers, and we had a great time.
The podcast is available everywhere podcasts are available (Spotify, etc.), but I’ll include a link to their Patreon if you wish to listen there. There’s also a link to the YouTube video below.
Their Patreon is here: FIGHTS WITH FRIENDS, and I hope you enjoy the show!
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