David M. Samuels's Blog, page 5

Writing Scenes: Sky Phraselist

We often take the sky for granted because we’re indoors so often nowadays. Writers of fantasy and historical fiction sometimes overlook how much the sky can contribute to setting. Take Angela Slatter’s example from “St. Dymphna’s School for Poison Girls”:

“The sun has slid behind the trees, and its only trace is a dying fire against the greying sky”

Now isn’t that so much better than “it was sunset”? A well written sunset can help segue into other details about the scene (without it seeming infodumpy).

Another one of my favorite sky-related excerpts comes from Jonathan French’s Grey Bastards. In the portion below, Jackal has just escaped from a traumatizing mineshaft:

“The stars had never been more blissfully distant. Jackal drank the sight of them, allowing the millions of luminous saviors to lift the weight of the mine out of his bones.”

Here French uses the sky to convey Jackal’s sense of relief. There’s countless other ways a sky-related detail can contribute to a work. Hopefully the phraselist below will get your brain jogging on ideas.

DISCLAIMER: None of these excerpts belong to me. They’re drawn from my reading and are meant to jog your imagination, so please do not copy them.

STARS/ASTROLOGY

Solstice (“Fleabane was cut at the winter solstice for drying.| A solstice is an event occurring when the Sun appears to reach its most northerly or southerly excursion relative to the celestial equator on the celestial sphere. Two solstices occur annually, around June 21 and December 21)

Equinox (either of the two parts on the celestial sphere where the equator intersects the eclipetic)

Equinoctial (happening at or near the time of the equinox)

Cosmic

Comet

Nebula (interstellar cloud of dust)

“Spiral nebulae in space”

Collapsar (a massive star that undergoes gravitational collapse especially after colliding with another star)

Sidereal (of or with respect to the distant stars [ie the constellations or fixed stars, not the sun or planest])

Polestar (star used to navigate)

Heavenly bodies (another name for stars)

Starfield

Star-sprinkled sky

Star-spattered sky

“Pinpricked with stars”

“first stars of evening”

The sweep of stars

“star-sown heavens”

Dusting of stars

Starry

Vault (in reference to the sky | vault of stars | vault of heaven; heavenly vault overhead)

Field of stars

“The stars flung their icy patterns across the crystal dome”

Starlight | (“The hair looked bleached in the starlight”)

Starlit sky

starscape

SUN & MOON

Sunblind | sunspots

Broad daylight (used to emphasize how it’s inapprioriate to do an action so straightforwardly)

Sun had burned the last of the dew of the grass

“The horizon swallowed the last rays of sun”

“sun began to slip behind the tablelands”

The sun crests the horizon

“Sun was near its zenith”

“Burning face of the sun”

The sun shone bright and warm

“The sun was a cold white point, shining through the low piles of clouds.”

Sun was a blood-red globe

“A burning yellow eye amidst a blaze of red and orange clouds”

“The sun, mighty Araian, had climbed out of her bedclothes”

Sun passes the midpoint

“Two moons had dipped down beyond different horizons, leaving only Clada’s slender sapphire crescent to gloss the sk”

As the sun reached its peak

Son touching the hilltops

Apogee (the farthest or highest point; the point of orbit of an object that is at the greatest distance from the center of the earth)

Sun rode high

Sun hovers

Afternoon sank into evening

Sun was barely more than a red tinge below a streak of cloud in the east

The sun/moon climbed to noon/midnight

“The red rim of the sun rose over the shoulders of the dark land.”

Moon hung like a giant gong

“Sun a copper hole punched through the sky”

Quarter-moon

Sharp-edged moon

“Pallid crescent just clearing the mountainside”

“Beneath the moon’s eye”

Moonless

Harvest moon: the full moon that is seen nearest to the time of the autumnal equinox.

Heavenly course (the sun’s heavenly course)

Sun settled/moon settled

“ruins and cliff were touched with gold by the light of a setting sun:

Sun sank

Sun crawled

“The sun has slid behind the trees, and its only trace is a dying fire against the greying sky”

Sun hid its face from the earth

“Sun kissed the horizon

“misshapen moon, like a worn marble head, made all the country silver.”

“There was one little window that was open to the evening air and showed the moon, although it was a little surprising that the moon with her clean white face and fingers should condescend to make an appearance in that dirty little room.”

CLOUDS & STORMS



“Clouds crossing the face of a full moon”

Threads of cloud

“The clouds seem so low their bellies graze the treetops”

“Clouds swallowed light”

“War between sunlight and clouds”

“Clouds at war in the sky”

Moon seemingly balanced on the chimney of the house

“A cloud spills over the moon and momentarily dims the forest”

“The clouds shavings of gold against the dark sky behind”

“Scatter of cloud being hurried along by a fresh autumn breeze”

“The cloud shadows raced across the fields”

“the highest clouds glowed peach against the deepening blue”

“clouds of evening piled slate-blue and one early star came out”

“And the clouds were never still. From dusky jet to deadly white they swirled slowly”

“Thunderheads had blown off to the east, coming apart into mountainous islands”

“Storm clouds that stained the sky”

“Silver beds of clouds”

“Clouds piled up like tangled gray scarves”

Clouds scudded

“Moon and stars bundled in clouds”

“Moon had disappeared behind a ragged sea of clouds”

“Rafts of clouds”

Clouds heaped

“Black clouds, piled thick, ate the sun”

“Stars flickered through a gash in the clouds”

Sky roiled with black clouds

Rags and glimmers of cloud

“White clouds sailed across”

Dark, churning clouds above

“Light from the setting sun shone brightly on the undersides of the rain clouds” (or bellies)

Clouds thinned

Thin morning clouds

Silver-edged cloud

Clouds crept across the moon

The pillowy masses

Gauzy curtains adrift on the cooling breeze

“rags of racing clouds”

Light of fires reflected off the clouds

“a few scattered puffballs of cloud”

“waxen clouds” | “leaden clouds”

“fleecy clouds”

“Cloud-swept heavens”

Clouds cleared

Cloudscape

Clouds released moonlight

Breaks in the clouds

Parade of clouds

Clouds hung

“Layers of grey clouds blanketed the sky.”

Cloudbank

Bank of storm clouds

Roof of clouds

Wisps of cloud

Heavy clouds

“White-fleeced and rutted with shadows (clouds)”

Clouds were low, fat, grey

Cloudless

cloud/fog lifted

Low-lying clouds

Watery clouds

Dark clouds were heaped

Rolled

“The sky is clotted with clouds”

“Half a moon played about shreds of cloud”

Raincloud

“The sky was cloudy with the promise of rain”

Storms were gathering

Splinter of lightning

Claw of lightning

Lightning pulsed

Electrical discharges

“Air around them cracked with static charge”

A stroke of lightning

“Gray-walled clouds with lightning in their hearts”

Lightning flashed

“Lightning ripped the sky”

Thunderbolt

Lightning flares

“Lightning streaked across the heavens”

“Spidery traces of lightning flashed”

“A shock of lightning brightened the sky for half a second”

“Shafts of blue lightning”

Sky-fire (another name for lightning)

“Lightning flashes and seems to crack the sky”

““Storm clouds licking the sky with tongues of lightning”

“How the spears of Ares, god of war, could be seen in the lightning and how the hammer of Hephaestus caused the thunder.”

Thunderhead

Thundercloud (“inky”)

Thunder rolled overhead

Crack of thunder

MISC COLORS

The dull iron sky

“opalescent sky”

Gray sky hung low over it all

Writer’s Phrasebook: Flashbacks & Memory

DISCLAIMER: None of these excerpts belong to me. They’re drawn from my reading and are meant to jog your imagination, so please do not copy them.

IMG: lonelyplanet.com

Memories are great for characterization. They help give a life to your character past the pages to enhance credibility. The phrases here might help get your mind jogging on how to phrase these flashbacks:

Awoken some old memory

Triggered (memory)

“Still gruesomely fresh in his mind”

“In her memory, painfully sharp”

His memory could pull up

Place (“Leberlingen had no time to waste trying to place him.”)

“Her thoughts were still out there in the dark waters of the Pacific.”

“Dipping into her unhappy memories”

“He strained his memory to his time in Inys”

“Struck a chord in his memory”

“She hadn’t occupied any particularly distinct spot in my memory”

Sparked his memory

“Zeno. Where had I heard the name recently?”

“Refresh my memory.”

Offhand I can recall _

“Tickled at Keilan’s memory”

“Stained my memory”

“Why dig up a matter that has lain undisturbed for twenty years or more?”

“Bloodshed clotting his memory”

Stirred memories of

Halls of memory

I’d know that voice anywhere. (cog rang a bell)

“The cloudy recesses of his mind”

“Had lain hidden in the hayloft of his memory”

“Couldn’t remember the last time”

“Words echoed dimly and frighteningly in the darkened alleys of his mind”

Sour memory

gilded thoughts

rosy reflections

Fuzzy memory

My mind slipped back to _

Lapses of memory

Distant (memory | what was a distant memory to Hector was a nightly torture to Mateo)

Unforgettable

The name rang a bell

“She’d rehash all their arguments” (put old ideas into new form without significant change or improvement)

Committed to memory (“committing every tree and rock and bush to memory”

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What’s a noble to do when he’s challenged to a duel he can’t win? He calls in Emelith the Finder, career criminal. In order to save the life of her client, Emelith must sabotage a duel by breaking into the opponent’s manor and swapping his sword with a fake one.

Regional Map:

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Character Descriptions: TEETH (Writer’s Phrase Sheet)

DISCLAIMER: None of these excerpts belong to me. They’re drawn from my reading and are meant to jog your imagination, so please do not copy them.

Image credit: https://shtuts.tumblr.com/tagged/Art

Regardless of how much grain or loaves of bread a single soldier might have received, he will undoubtedly suffered from worn teeth, a problem faced by every Egyptian. The bead contained a high level of grit, introduced either in the flour as it was milled or as mind-blown sand and dust. This wore down the enamel of the teeth causing at best some discomfort and pain, at worst serious abscesses and infections that could prove fatal (Osprey Collection on Egyptian Architecture)

Then cuts the thread with her teeth, etching more deeply the tailor’s notch in her left front tooth” (Angela Slatter)

Naomi smiled, virtually blinding Angela with her teeth

Gumlines

Nest of teeth

Yellow ridgeline of teeth

White squares of his smile

The way the teeth reached forward as if they were racing to get ahead of the nose (KJ Parker)

tar-stained teeth

Gap-toothed

A sailor with fewer teeth than fingers and only one hand (Rob J. Hayes)

Chipped teeth

Widely spaced teeth

Underbite

Uneven teeth

His own teeth square and yellow, like those of a horse

Toothy (grin)

Snaggletoothed (an irregular or projecting tooth)

“half-rotted teeth”

White teeth inset with tiny jewels

“a run of teeth”

Long teeth

“Saw his teeth were filed across the front with killer’s grooves”

Broken-toothed grimace

Sharp-toothed smile

Horse teeth/buckteeth

No front teeth

Pearly white teeth

Crooked set of teeth

Stubby-toothed

“Gave a smile that showed every one of her pointed teeth”

“He beamed at her, his teeth bright white against his tanned skin.”

She smiled crooked old teeth at him

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A murderous embalmer.

A career criminal.

A royal chef.

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King, Queen, and… Jack? (Origins of the Card)

I always found it weird that there’s a guy called Jack in the royal court of cards. Queen, yes. King, of course. Jester, sure. But… Jack? I found my answer after a bit of research:

Originally called a KNAVE in the Mamluk tradition. Back then, there were a number of other court-themed cards like viceroys,knights, and under-deputies. The knave usually had a servile function, with card depictions ranging from squires to valets. The English slang for valets at the time, JACK, eventually substituted the term of knave.

Phlegmy Voices, Mellow Voices and All Sorts of Others (Writer’s Phrase Sheet)

DISCLAIMER: None of these excerpts belong to me. They’re drawn from my reading and are meant to jog your imagination, so please do not copy them.

Image credit: Danny Pavlov: https://www.artstation.com/artwork/3oD1YJ?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app

VOICE FIGURATIVE EXAMPLES

“Nana clucks her tongue, and although she doesn’t raise the volume of her voice, she uses an argument-in-a-restaurant tone that’s downright poisonous” (Paul Tremblay)

““Is she lying down?” / “Don’t know,” he said. He did not add, Don’t care, but it was there in his tone.” (Joe Hill)

“It was the blunt, almost impersonal efficiency in his voice. He might’ve been discussing store policy with a new employee” (Joe Hill)

“My father killed her.” / It was the way he said it, casually, with a vague hint of disapproval, as in, “My father wouldn’t let me have a dog” or “My father sold my favorite pony.” (KJ Parker)

“he said in a stage whisper”

“he had a voice like a gelded goat”

“Her voice made the stone bench we sat on seem warm and soft by comparison.”

“…a voice have been at home on a battlefield”

“It’s Gorst,’ sneered one, as if he had been expecting a king and got a pot-boy.” (Joe Abercrombie)

“Speaking to her in the low, gentle voice he reserved for skittish horses, and steered her inside”

““Wire,” Furio’s dad replies, as though he’d just asked for the philosopher’s stone” (KJ Parker)

““Hares.” A sort of awed wonder, as if they were talking about dragons” (KJ Parker)

“Right,” he said, as if I’d just told him he was really a girl.

“Come along then,” she said briskly, like I was the family dog

“You’re returned.” It wasn’t clear from her tone how she felt about it.”

““How nice,” Julia said, but her tone implied otherwise”

“His tone putting the name into the same category as rheumatism”

“Her tone suggested that admitting as much might be the last thing I ever did”

“Not the same one,” he says, with the sort of patience on reserves for people who are being particularly stupid but don’t deserve to be told that to their faces because they’ve had a hard day.

He said, with the air of a man who _.

“_,” he said, in the tone of a man (“she said in the tone of a woman who usually gets her way.”

“Enoch Soames,” repeated Rothenstein in a tone implying that it was enough to have hit on the surname.”

ROUGH VOICES

Phlegmy

Raspy

Gruff

Wheezy

“Deep grating voice, like granite on a grindstone”

“He’d about the deepest, most gravel-throated voice Shy ever heard, and she’d given her ear to some worn-down tones in her time.”

““in a voice croaky with phlegm.””

“in a voice like sand on glass”

Throaty (deep and rasping | “chuckle”)

Guttural (produced in the throat; harsh-sounding |

“said a new voice with the gravelly scrape of age.”

“His voice was the very opposite of Gorst’s. A gravelly whisper, harsh as millstones grinding.”

“Voice a weak rasp”

Husky voice (low-pitched and slightly hoarse

“Did he burn them?” Idomeneos asked, his voice like the noise of a galley being dragged across pebbles.”

DRY/HARD VOICES

“flint-dry voice”

“Yaarike’s words were dry as dust.”

Hardened his voice

Leaden (“laden tones of Death”)

Stony

LENGTH

““Well,” elongating the word by vibrating the tip of my tngue against the back of my front teeth”

““Bullshit.” The word was four syllables, broken by his labored panting.”

NEUTRAL/DISINGENUOUS

Insincerely

Offhandedly

Tonelessly

Neutral

Solemn (formal and dignified; not cheerful or smiling)

Flatly

Emotionless

Hollowly/hollow voice

“His voice was hollow as a dead tree”

PLEASING/LIQUID VOICES

“This was a new voice: deeper, darker, low, and controlled, oiled and polished as ceremonial armor.”

Smooth

“His voice was every drop as oily as I expected”

Mellow voice

“voice was honey poured over thunder.”

Rich/richer

“in a voice as hearty as plum pudding”

Dulcet (sweet and soothing)

“In a voice as smooth and creamy as vanilla cake frosting”

Suave (especially of a man [charming, confident, elegant])

Refinement (voice accent)

Countrified voice

“His tone was casual, but it carried the polish of an orator’s training”

Orotund ([of the voice or phrasing] full, round, and imposing])

COLD VOICES

“If you said anything like that to me,” the Lord Righteous replied in a tone that could freeze beer, “you would be a liar.”

Chill edge

Coolly

Frosty (“He bowed with frosty formality.”)

“Crisp as winter’s first frost”

QUICK VOICES

“She spoke in a rush…” | rushed his words

Hurriedly

“Said in a hurried whisper”

“Sped up his words”

BROKEN VOICES

“Passion cracked his voice as violently as his face.”

broken voice

Strained

Unevenly

Unsteady

Voice was fractured

shaky/Shakily|

Wobbly/voice wobbled

Injured tone

Brittle voice

ANGRY/SHARP VOICES

“Voice lost its angry edge”

Acidly

Tartly/bitterly

“Her voice sharp enough to cut glass”

Sharply

Crossly

Bite in his tone

“Neutral mockery edged Lythande’s voice”

_ heating his voice (anger/anticipation)

“_,” he said, his voice taking a _ edge.

“There was a curt finality in her tone, an edge that threatened to cut if Tam dared to press any further.”

Firm tone

Forcefully

Curtly

Clipped (“clipped and precise”)

Terse (sparing in the use of words)

He said tightly

SHOUTING VOICES

“The Queen of Thorns screeched in a voice ten times her size”

Pitched his voice high | “Ronica Vestrit pitched her voice to carry”

“_,” he said, pitching his voice higher than usual

_ was building in his voice

Heatedly/heated conversations

Hotly\

“Raising his voice to clarion pitch”

QUIET VOICES

His voice sank/lowered

Faintly

Pitched his voice low

Voice dropped to a (“croak”)

dropped her voice to

Small voice

Undervoiced (whisper | “undervoiced argument”)

Low-voiced _

Hushed tones

Undertone (low or subdued utterance; quality underlying utterance)

Quietly

“His voice shrank to a whisper”

“His voice softening to a whisper”

SOFT VOICES

His voice was as light as a wisp of cobweb on the air

“her voice like a feather over skin”

Gently

Thin

Soft-spoken

Meekly (quiet, gentle, and easily imposed on)

faintly

Threats & Dialogue [WRITER’S REFERENCE/COMPILATION]

Let’s face it, threats make for POWERFUL dialogue. As with any literary tool, try not to overuse them. But when you DO employ them, make sure to pack a punch. Hopefully these examples will give you some ideas.

DISCLAIMER: None of these excerpts belong to me. They’re drawn from my reading and are meant to jog your imagination, so please do not copy them.

If you like this list, follow my blog for future installments.

“She gave my sons to the fire. I will cut the living heart from her breast and see how it burns.”

They’re dead meat (threat)

Cracking skulls

“Make up your stupid mind, Congden. My finger’s getting tired.” (gun)

Give me a cleaver and I’ll chop his privates for him, I’ll use them for fish bait

To rip Taylor a new asshole

Any shit from you, and (threat)

“You’ll talk, Touissant – believe me, you’ll talk. It’s just a question of whether I’ll need to show you your insides before you do.”

Thinking about afterlife can be a segue from threat

“Give me something else, then.” / “I’ll give you a beating if you don’t scramble.”

“Tell me now… process of cutting it out of you.”

Slice your heart out and shit in the hole!

Stringing up rebels

Anyone hears about this visit and you’ll need to find someone better with that scalpel than you are. (to doctor)

Kisser (phys)

In danger of his life

“It was nice knowing you.”

A threat without any teeth

“You’re pretty feisty for a man about to get a long look at his insides

I’d learn how difficult breathing becomes with a foot of steel in your innards

The fires of hell are not hot enough for such people

It’ll knock you into next Wednesday!

Come on, Ig. Step up to the metal detector so I can have an excuse to blow your mentally deficient ass away.

“You’ll have no future in office if you don’t get a few successful campaigns behind you.” / “I’ll have no future at all if I march off with Caesar!”

“There is worse I can do to you than kill.” To emphasize the point, Crispin crouched beside Mahmoud, picked up a cucumber from the floor, and beheaded the tip with a sharp knife.

Anybody who had problems with that could discuss the matter with his axe

If I don’t manage to open my veins quickly enough, I’ll be impaled on a hook and dragged through the streets

He who breathes its flame for an hour never sees another unless it be the flames of Hell

The only way to leave the service of the crown is at the end of a rope

“In ten days,” she said, “we begin rehearsing for the Cerialia. If the wood is not gone by that time, it will make you an excellent funeral pyre.”

Whupped your ass

I’ll see that he swings for it

“You can dole out the proposal for them in your best silks. They’ll be your funeral robes, too.”

He’d have an appointment with the executioner

Ordered Crupo’s heart cut out of his chest and brought to him so he could see whether it was red with loyalty or black with betrayal.

End our days at the end of a noose

I’ll take the lot of you down seven hells with me

I can take out all five of you before the first one’s blood begins to seep through his clothing

There is only way out for you, Trattari. It leads through a river of your own blood.

“I’ll pay you your extra black pennies but you’ll have to shit them out in the morning, along with your front teeth, to count them.”

Tempted to kick the old bastard into immediate martyrdom

“I shall slit that bastard from the crotch to the gullet and dance on his offal”

I’d have smashed his teeth down his neck, even though I’d have had to stand on something to reach

Bled their loyalty upon the floor

Stretch their necks (hanging)

Smashed his brains into pudding

But I had warned him that one more such comment would earn him a new and larger belly button

Told them I would break their tonsured heads if the horses were lost

I’ll hang him with his son’s intestines

I’d have ripped his lungs out with a soupspoon (better with blunt in some cases)

They could duck him in one of his own tanning vats and cut him up for sandals

Reinforce their reproofs with the backs of their hands

Kick your arse from there to Praeneste for that

“Are we getting paid for this?” / “You’ll get the back of my hand if you don’t shut up.”

Cleon was not the sort of man you took to law for any reason whatsoever, unless you wanted an excuse for travelling the world for the next ten years.

Earned her a noose

So Ezze hit all the stupid out of you

“You always hit me. It’s not fair!” / “Be grateful you have ears left to hit.”

Beat him bloody

“Or maybe you could entertain us a little first, then we let you go.” / “How about I entertain a hole through your head?”

“Perhaps she has something to tell me.” / “Or perhaps she has a dagger, and means to introduce it to your back.” (threat seg)

Signed her own death warrant

I shall be arranging your intestines so that they shall be reading, “I claimed the rightful kill of Balur, mightiest of the Analesians”

“You come back with anything besides a guitar and my pistol plays a tune.”

If they knew what’s good for them

“Fall again and I’ll make sure you never get up”

“And the next one who calls me mayor goes home in a wheelbarrow.”

Rearrange Conn’s nose

Gut you stern to crotch

I’ll personally paint your balls with fig jelly and toss you stark naked into a hog pit!

Not certain he’d live to find out

Relieved Opimius of his head

Break me in two

“I’ll skin everyone in the city alive if that’s what it takes to make the streets safe.” (threat)

Put my ass on the line

“You’re in a terrible hurry, then!’/ “I shall be in a terrible hurry to toss you over the side if you continue to draw such inferences.”

You’re finished/we’re finished (“keep your ships heading westwards or we’re finished!”)

“Is it the hurting of weak things that fills the hole in you?” / “I ain’t got no hole in me.” / “The old man took a last bite from his apple. “No?”…The old man had covered the ground between them in two lightning steps and struck him in the chest with the end of his staff.”

“Steel shall be my answer.”

“You know, this is the third time I’ve had a blade at my throat in the past week,” I complained mildly. “It must be the beard. Ever since I grew it, people seem compelled to try and remove it.”

_ and it’ll be the last thing you ever do.

The fact that Gorm was even thinking about the Gobling, instead of cleaning it off his axe

Trying to keep my head attached to my shoulders

Man drowned in a puddle of his own blood

“One scream and we’re wormfood”

Teach them some manners

Your head is all swollen, Gordianus – maybe someone should pop it open for you!

“Show those bastards they picked a fight with the wrong bloody pirates!”

Sense knocked into her

If Nobul ever got out of here he’d make sure Anton regretted the day he’d ever heard of the Guild”

A red welcome

Carry out a threat

Was one wrong away from becoming a pincushion

“Don’t start any fires. Or else.”

Inch of his life (“You were hanged to within half an inch of your life…”

It’s open season on your ass.

Keelhaul (punish someone by dragging them through the water under the keel of the ship)

Getting splatted

Just having the stuff’ll get your neck stretched (threat)

“That’s because I split that prick;s head open when he was still a prince. Now drop that sword or I’ll show you how I did it.”

Pull your tongue out through your arse

“When the boys scrape you up off the pti floor”

Ripped her open like a letter

We’re done for

Had anyone else in the world spoken to Rose that way, they’d be collecting their teeth off the floor right about now.

Smashed their teeth in

Having the shit kicked out of him

If I’d lost my temper, I’d have left there in a sack (threat)

“Stunts your growth, listening to that king of talk.” He drew his hand across his throat.

They’d string me up from a lemon-tree and use me for javelin practice

“Such a sharp tongue.” He smiled a wicked smile. “Take care it doesn’t cut your throat.”

Took a switch to her backside

Lived out the day(“I’ll settle for living out the day”)

These youngsters won’t know what hit them

Made fast work of it/short work of it

Limb from limb

Split his skull like a pine log

Noggin

Greet them with arrows

To snap Celestaine in half

Reach for this cup and I’ll break your fucking arm

“Beat the snot out of”

“Cut Shulamak a new eyesocket”

Breaking heads

“Stalton’ll stomp me into a Caine-shaped grease stain”

“If I have to tell you again, it’ll be after Rugo’s morningstar makes porridge out of one of your ankles.”

Show your face (threat)

“Open your skull to adjust your attitude from the inside”

“Spilled her guts all over Knights’ Bridge”

“One o’ them will plant his axe right between those little pig eyes.”

“You know, this is the third time I’ve had a blade at my throat in the past week,” I complained mildly. “It must be the beard. Ever since I grew it, people seem compelled to try and remove it.”

“And I’ll still be a dwarf beneath his feet. And one day he’s like to make me even shorter.”

Gutful of Kurtic iron

“Lay a finger on”

Feeding worms (euphemism for death)

“Smash Merrick’s teeth out.”

“Gave the boy a beating” (threat)

“Careful, now. We wouldn’t want to get blood all over your pretty white cloak”

“We’ll feed them their own entrails”

“The point needed to be made in blood”

Opened his throat

“mince my nuts for offal gravy!”

“Service? What can you offer me, that I should not cut you down here and now…”

“sounding rather petulant for someone who was about to be cut into small pieces”

Faceful of scars

Gutted

“Knocked the belligerence out of him”

“If Nobul ever got out of here he’d make sure Anton regretted the day he’d ever heard of the Guild”

“A word from her would probably get the place torched.”

I’ll whip your hide/I’ll get my hide whipped

“If she didn’t do it, Walder wasn’t the only one who’d be losing bits of himself.”

“Snaps the tough’s collar bone like an old broomstick.”

“Otherwise you’re a rug on someone’s floor tomorrow. Your choice. O’course, there might not be enough of you left to make a rug.”

Lifespan

“next time you’ll think twice about sheltering traitors under your roof”

Dead man walking

Grind you to a pulp

“rip your hide off and nail it to a tree”

“say a word against Rhisiart in Engelard’s hearing, and he’ll get it back down his throat with a fist behind it”

“You’ll die as surely as the ____.”

“he wouldn’t last five minutes”

Won’t live to see

Last chance (“this is your last chance”)

“make good on his threat”

“I’ll spin words around you until you’re cocooned in them.”

“slap you silly”

“have the rest of our skins for a drum head”

“break a few heads”

“be it tomorrow or twenty years from tomorrow.”

“A hungry Lutheran would have had them split on his bayonet before they might say Dominus vobiscum.”

Cut down

“Lay one hand on me, Gaius Mamilius, and you will revert to the soprano voice of your boyhood!”

Before you know it

“I should box your ears!”

“You will never live to see the morning”

“bullet with their name on it”

Give me one reason why I

One more move and _

“Take a step near me, and I’ll smash your mouth.”

Pay a visit

“I could have thrashed Uther like a wet rag”

“grind you to paste”

Made a hill of their dead

Believe me (“And if you try to lay a finger on me I’ll turn you into a sandroach, believe me.”)

“put a bullet in your brain”

Ripped his/her throat out

One word from _ (“One word from him and I could be brought down.”)

“smashed his skull to porridge”

“gut me where I stood.”

Days are numbered (“your father’s days in the sun are numbered in small digits.”)

Gullet

“Address me only once again without the proper respect and I will crush you and your husband like the pretty, irrelevant ambitious lice that you are.”

gouge

And if you ever forget that again, I’ll carve your fucking bones into toys for them.”)

“Or kiss your kidneys goodbye.”

“I ought to give you a red smile from ear to ear.”)

“One step more and you’ll leave here with fewer eyeballs than you came with.”

“carry their ears home in their hats.”

Swallow steel “swallow a blade or crossbow bolt for it?”

Cut to ribbons (Fatima would cut his fingers into ribbons and tie a bow out of it)

_ at your peril ([after kicking someone out of house] “Come back at your peril!”)

Head relieved from shoulders

Writing Insects in Fantasy & Historical Fiction [BRAINSTORM/PHRASE SHEET]

IMG CREDIT: https://www.artstation.com/artwork/reDna

Bugs are great for ambiance and immersing your reader. It’s rare to come by someone who doesn’t have strong feelings about them. How do your characters react to them?

Here, Ruth Downie uses insects to help in characterization: “Tilla paused to scoop a drowning beetle out of the pulp. She set it on the wall of the trough”

What sort of bugs are native to your world? Are their products used for something special? For example, cochineal is a red pigment produced from boiling insects.

Below are some examples to get your brain jogging. REMEMBER: none of these excerpts belong to me. The point is to get your brain jogging, not copy things directly.

“A half-dozen chewing mandibles still grinding against each other”

River-flies buzzed in clouds, new-hatched by the spring warmth

The smelly stuff on my hair seemed to have drawn out every fly in Greece

Sedates the bees with smoke. It makes them dull and drowsy.

Aphids (a minute bug that feeds by sucking sap from plants; reproduces rapidly)

The first bees of spring

Cicadas made a loud buzzing that made Duane a bit dizzy

The overhead lamps darkened with dead moths

Bugs orbit the lampposts

Flies began to gather in black clouds

Arachnid

Air buzzes with flies

The smoke of juniper leaves is known to calm bees

Out of the cracks come several scuttling beetles, joined by a black-winged butterfly, to drink from the mess she has left for them. (after spitting on ground)

A horned beetle

In cool blue dusk twanging with crickets

He washed his hands in a sink with a cockroach clinging to the side

insect traps have been devised, of which the simplest is a rag dipped in honey.

Dishes buzzing with flies

Wine cups were abandoned here and there; flies buzzed above the crimson dregs

Grubs (the larva of an insect)

Dead wasp on the sill

Bugs crawling out of cracks in the wall

Butterflies flitted amid the columns of the peristyle. (insects/setting seg)

A fly had settled on the tray and was now busy cleaning its back legs

“The smoke from fragrant herbs burning on the altar of Asklepios helped keep insects away.”

Its fluttering shadow on the wall looking larger than a bird’s (moth/light)

Bees and butterflies were already at work, doting on the blossoms

Swarms of biting flies coalesced in humming clouds over the deeper pools

A screech that briefly silenced the chirrup of chicadas outside

Shooed a fly off the table

Basso slapped at something on his neck. “Bloody gnats. You’d think they’d be gone by September.” (KJ PARKER)

Harried by mosquitos we could not slap away for the tug of the chains

Carapace

Knobbed (Shelob’s knobbed joints)

Gnats began to buzz in my ears and midges landed on my lips and eyelashes and flew up my nose

Crawling with maggots (insect)

Woodlice

Flies and gnats harassed my eyelids and tickled my lips

Waved aside a bee that circled my head

A fly landed on the table, flicking with its legs at a sticky patch of spilt beer

fireflies

Crickets and cicadas began their twilight chirping

Luna moths

Crickets were chirping in the tall grass to either side

“big white moths”

Chrysalis/pupa (what results after the silky cocoon has solidifed; chrysalis is specifically used for butterfly pupa, whereas pupa can also be larvae)

Hatchling

“take unfinished cloth, spread it around the room and over your bed, and all the fleas that jump onto it will stick there so you can remove them with the cloth and take them where you want.” (Medieval Handbook on Managing Households)

“If you have a room or a house where many flies gather, take little bunches of ferns, tie them together, shred them at the edges, and hang them up; all the flies will lodge on them in the evening. Then take down these fringes and throw them away.” (Medieval Handbook on Managing Households)

Shipworms (any of the various marine clams that have a shell for burrowing in submerged wood and can cause damage to wharf piles and wooden ships)

Barnacle (marine crustacean with feathery appendages for gathering food that are free-swimming as larvae but permanently fix to rocks as adults)

Ticks

Horsefly (any family of fly with bloodsucking female)

Grubs (young form of an insect where it looks like a small worm)

Insectile (“Its eyes were baleful, insectile in their stupid hate.”)

Gnats

Parasite

“wormwood and rosemary were laid away with clothes as moth repellents”

“log only to find it rotten, crawling with grubs”

Millipedes

Gadfly (any variety of flies that bite or annoy livestock)

Flyblown (covered with flyspecks or infested with larvae of flesh fly or blowfly)

Flyspecks – a speck made up of fly excrement ; something small and insignificant

Weevil (beetle with elongated snout)

Locusts (“Like locusts they devoured all that they touched”)

Larva (wingless form that hatches from many insects) [lips wriggled like larva]

“If there are many ants in the garden, throw the sawdust of oakboards on the ant hill, and they will die or go away at the first rainfall, because the sawdust holds the moisture.”

Midges (a tiny fly)

River of Thieves by Clayton Snyder [SPFBO REVIEW]

Full of adventure, thiefcraft, and Pratchetesque humor, Clayton Snyder’s RIVER OF THIEVES is a picaresque caper set in a high fantasy world. There’s a lot to like about this book, particularly the colorful, nay, resplendent, use of language:

“…the masts looked like they’d give you a splinter if you looked at them wrong.”

“Not that Anaxos’ priests knew anything about that. The churches were in on it. Tithe, donate, spend. Make the pews more comfortable, make the books more ornate, make the spire bigger so we can fuck the heavens with our giant phallic patriarchal metaphor.”

Whereas most thief duos in fantasy share strong bonds of friendship (such as Royce & Hadrian; Jean & Locke), Snyder brings something different to the table with frenemies Nenn and Cord. Expect plenty of heated banter and such lovely threats as, “If we get out of this, I’m going to wear your balls for earrings, Cord.”

That was Nenn the narrator speaking. It’s largely her voice and reflections that kept me turning the page:

“My brain drifted with them, wondering what a normal life might look like. House, field, two kids, husband. Dog? Probably a dog.”

“When you’re handling dead guys and dealing with bureaucracy, you have fun when you can.”

Only problem is I found Cord more interesting than Nenn. As the leader of their job, it’s mostly him who pushes the plot along. I’ve seen this “Watson-to-Sherlock” style of narrating done in Scourge of the Betrayer, and had a problem there as well. It’s probably just a preference thing, seeing how well that work is generally received. Personally, I would’ve liked to see more agency from the main character rather than feeling left in the dust by Cord. I think it would’ve strengthened the overarching importance of/my interest in the plot itself.