Priyanka Nair (Joshi)'s Blog, page 19
June 19, 2021
WHY IS BREAKING UP WITH SOMEONE SO PAINFUL & EXHAUSTING?
Why is breaking up so painful? Why is it so hard to detach yourself from someone? Is it because you loved that person and now when he/she is not there, you don’t know how to live without that person?
Or you cannot just accept the fact that things didn’t work out between you two and you need to let go of it. There is a slight difference here, and this slight difference makes a whole lot of impact on our mental well-being and our future life.
I am going through a legal separation and it is dead painful. After years of trying, understanding, giving chances, giving space, things couldn’t work out between us. Writing has been my saviour and maybe the awareness about when and where to stop helped me to let him go.
Why is breaking up so painful in a relationship?The process of separation creates havoc inside your mind and you feel it could burst any time, any moment. We attach our entire life to someone and when they move, we see our whole world crashing right in front of us.
Do you know why is breaking up so painful? Because, it is like you pick up the broken pieces every day and fix yourself and still there is this vacuum instilled deep inside you, beyond anybody’s imagination. No matter how graceful you are dealing with such a situation, you still feel empty inside, because you once loved that person and never expected life without them.
We as Indian married women are conditioned in a manner that we feel our whole world is defined by our life partner and we have to pour out our last bit of blood and energy to keep things smooth and running, WHY? Because of the society, because the norms and because it is how it SHOULD be.
But, as I said earlier, after a point of time you understand that there is nothing left here and all you are doing is banging your head over the wall and hurting yourself in return, accumulating only loads of pain.
Why is breaking up so painful in a marriage?When you are in a relationship/affair and things don’t work out between you two, you go home, you have a place to go. Although the suffering and pain are immeasurable and incomparable, you have a place to go back, and most of the times nobody knows about your relationship. Most importantly, you don’t have a child to worry about.
In marriages, things become way too complicated. The emotional and mental pain feels no less than like physical pain. Most of the time even parents don’t support you. To top that, few people make it so ugly to deal with, no gut, no spine just cruelty to demean each other. Why is breaking up is so painful? Here a few reasons:
1.) Future Insecurities
About self, about raising the child alone.
2.) Financial Challenges
Raising a child and taking care of everything single-handedly not only requires a lot of mental energy but a stable income.
3.) Society
Divorce, separation, marriages then second marriages? Rebound? No one lets you take a breather and give you time to heal.
4.) Loneliness
The darkest side of going through a heartbreak.
5.) Defamation
Yes, the other side will leave not a single chance to point out their filthy fingers on you and make your life miserable.
6.) Feeling of getting judged
I think it is a feeling that is a result of the huge decision, a huge change in your life changes the way people look at you.
7.) Abundance of unsolicited advices
Aah!! We have so many of them around all of us, isn’t it?
After the years of crying, complaining, trying to make amends, trying to fit in trying to win him back, I chose to set him free. Maybe this is the LOVE we talk about, the love we all want, to just let it be. And, I would like to share a very meaningful poem with you all, written by Jorge Luis Borges. This has hit me real hard.
A poem by Jorge Luis Borges After a while you learn the subtle differenceBetween holding a hand and chaining a soul,And you learn that love doesn't mean leaningAnd company doesn't mean security.And you begin to learn that kisses aren't contractsAnd presents aren't promises,And you begin to accept your defeatsWith your head up and your eyes openWith the grace of a woman, not the grief of a child,And you learn to build all your roads on todayBecause tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plansAnd futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight.After a while you learn...That even sunshine burns if you get too much.So you plant your garden and decorate your own soul,Instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.And you learn that you really can endureThat you really are strongAnd you really do have worth...And you learn and learn...With every good-bye you learn.Over the period, I have realized what true love is and there is a difference between want and need, and how this small difference is capable of making a huge shift in our relationship status.
I don’t know how I managed to write this post, but I know someone will be reading me today and I need strength, a lot of strength. I hope we all get the love and light we deserve and not what we chase. What do you think, why is breaking up so painful?
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Priyanka Nair is the author of 26 Days 26 Ways for a Happier you and Ardhaviram. An NLP practitioner and Founder of Sanity Daily, helping you prioritize your mental health. Let’s build a happy community.
This blog post is part of the blog challenge ‘Blogaberry Dazzle’ hosted by Cindy D’Silva and Noor Anand Chawla.
June 17, 2021
If You Think Wellness is Expensive, Try Illness
Description: Health costs are always epic high. Making matters worse, the wellness of Americans is on a sharp decline. How big is the problem, and what are our viable solutions to wholesome living? Stay with us and find out more about this common problem.
If You Think Knowledge is Expensive, Try Ignorance at Your Health CostsFor some reason, we tend to assume we are more advanced than any generation that has ever lived. Indeed, ignorance is bliss until it becomes expensive.
Archaeologists are still in awe at some ancient high-tech findings that no technology today can match up to.
Another assumption is that we have a far more advanced medical industry simply because of cancer machines and eye therapy devices. Surely ancient medicine back then couldn’t match up to our healthcare system.
We’ll leave that to you, dear reader, to decide. But one extremely wise guy once said, that there’s nothing new under the sun.
The 21st– Century and Modern Healthcare
We have forgotten and done away with ancient wisdom. After a mixture of capitalism and industrialization, our way of life has changed for the worse, bringing the current health crisis.
Health Cost in America has risen so high that it is listed as the leading cause of bankruptcy in the United States. If getting sick can get you broke, it begs the question: are we living the American dream? Some end up taking loans from LoansSolutions, banks, and other financial institutions to meet their health costs.
But what exactly is health cost, and why all the fuss?
What are Health Costs?Healthcare costs can be described as the amount it takes you to fully address your health. This ranges from hospital bills, medical checkups, and purchasing prescription drugs to monthly health insurance premiums, copays, and coinsurance costs.
The majority of Americans pay higher deductibles or out-of-pocket charges to manage the monthly premium payments. Due to that, most health insurance plans are not comprehensive and only cover a minimal range of events. Americans are thus left grappling with high payment costs in the event of a medical crisis.
So how much does the average health insurance plan cost?
That’s another tricky question to answer. The American health care cost system is complicated with a lot of jargon. America ranks highest in the world when it comes to healthcare costs. Insurance is supposed to lessen the burden, but most patients end up short-changed in their health plans.
These health covers don’t cover essential needs. Instead of focusing on this problem, the government partnering with the UN is placing more emphasis on universal coverage. But what’s the use of coverage that doesn’t meet your costs when you need it most?
How Much Does Health Insurance Cost Each Month?
There are different factors to consider assessing the average cost. First of all, different states have different averages, and different insurers will offer varying packages. Moreover, health costs may also depend on the tier you choose and whether the cover is subsidized or not. Also, you should understand how much mental health costs compared to other health problems. It will also influence healthcare costs each month.
By the end of 2020, the national average cost of a silver plan for a non-subsidized healthcare cover cost roughly $462 every month. A subsidized program is much cheaper, selling for $199 each month.
The national average has since risen to $495, with some states selling as high as $712. Americans are feeling the pinch, and some end up abandoning their medical insurance altogether. It’s becoming way too expensive to get sick in the States.
The question now is, is all hope lost? How can healthcare costs be reduced, and what role do we have to play?
A Precise Remedy for Unscrupulous Health Costs
The answer to what are health cost solutions becomes easy. Simply go back to what we have lost. We’ll show you how. We hope to take a different approach and show you how easy and inexpensive it is to arrive at long-term wellness. By the end, you should be moving from a “how much is home healthcare cost” mentality to a “how much care can I take to wellness at home.”
A Different Approach to Wellness
Western medicine has approached the human body as different entities joining up to form a single entity. However, we want to suggest a slightly different approach. The human body is a single unit divided into different segments.
The following tips are supposed to address the prevailing problem of what are health cost reduction techniques.
1.Fasting
You didn’t see that coming, did you?
Each time you go to sleep, your body is getting rid of the toxins, and sleep itself is a form of a fast. That’s why you call your first morning meals “breakfast.” It’s the period where you break from that short fast.
We recommend additional periods of fasting – intermittent fasting. You’ll ensure you keep some complications at bay, such as heart conditions, overweight, diabetes, and mental health.
2.Eat this and Live
Health gurus and nutritionists today will give you a bunch of expensive foods and recipes which the majority of the population cannot afford.
Instead of putting all your attention on organic foods, let’s see what ancient wisdom has to say about food and diet.
First, we get ourselves immersed in conversations about eating meat and meat products versus abstaining. The catch is, not all meat is food – and that’s what the average dietician won’t tell you. Others may not tell you the extreme dangers of consuming certain kinds of meat. Remember, you are what you eat!
3.Move
It has become more convenient to have food and shopping delivered to our doorstep. This contradicts the basics of ancient wisdom, where our ancestors used to move. They needed no gym or yoga classes, neither did they need to enroll in body training sessions. Yet, their health is nowhere close to ours. That’s the difference between wholeness and progressive health costs.
In Conclusion
You have a choice of how health care costs can be reduced. You are presented with the option of taking your health into your hands by making the right choices or leaving it at the mercy of the healthcare system. Prevention surpasses cure, and that’s the point of presenting a traditional approach to reducing health costs.
So what will you do?
Author’s bio:
Daniel Miller is an inexperienced specialist in the business and financial area. Daniel has also worked as a financial advisor at a bank and provided consulting and advice about budgets, savings, insurance, stocks, retirement funds, tax advice, etc. He is currently doing specific research on the topic.
