Brynn Hochman's Blog
July 1, 2019
The Do's and Dont's of Active Listening
Have you ever been in a conversation where someone is looking at his/her phone while you are trying to speak? Have you ever been in a conversation where someone is not making eye contact? Have you ever been in a conversation where you don't feel heard? These are questions you reflect on when you have a conversation where someone is NOT actively listening. Everyone wants to be heard. Everyone DESERVES to be heard.
The Do's:
1. Engage your body (sit up straight OR nod your head)
2. Make eye contact (don't stare into the speaker's soul, but make it known that you are listening)
3. Validate the speaker (for example: "it sounds like you are feeling ____")
4. Add verbal recognitions
5. AFTER the speaker is done talking, ask follow up questions (this will show the speaker that you heard what s/he said)
The Dont's:
1. Look at your phone while the speaker is talking (period)
2. Stare off into Netherland
3. Shift the conversation to yourself (like: "well I had an even more traumatic story")
4. Interrupt the speaker and change topics (for example: "remember that time when ____")
Active listening is hard to do, but when done correctly magic happens.
The Do's:
1. Engage your body (sit up straight OR nod your head)
2. Make eye contact (don't stare into the speaker's soul, but make it known that you are listening)
3. Validate the speaker (for example: "it sounds like you are feeling ____")
4. Add verbal recognitions
5. AFTER the speaker is done talking, ask follow up questions (this will show the speaker that you heard what s/he said)
The Dont's:
1. Look at your phone while the speaker is talking (period)
2. Stare off into Netherland
3. Shift the conversation to yourself (like: "well I had an even more traumatic story")
4. Interrupt the speaker and change topics (for example: "remember that time when ____")
Active listening is hard to do, but when done correctly magic happens.
