Faiz Yusuf's Blog
June 6, 2019
Old Habits Die Hard
Commonly, the colour ‘Red’ has two ideas strung with it. On one hand, it symbolizes love and on the other, it stands for danger. And when I go on to fixate on the picture of you in the red dress you wore last summer, I don’t know which notion of the colour to go with.
Here I stand hoping from last year that my love for you wasn’t true, because in case it was, it seems like I lost it hard.
I’d be lying if I said I remember the reason I left you and I wish I did because I want to remind myself that it wasn’t a mistake.
However, I’m done telling everyone that you were wrong for me when the truth was that I was not good enough for anybody.
How do you celebrate when you have won a battle but then you realise that battle was with your own damn self? I guess there are no winners then, just survivors.
I lost my mind when you lost a friend in me. Nothing comes easy but few mistakes have a huge price and we always had a knack at being on the wrong side of the wall.
But I do ask you, will you ever do wrong things yourself to avoid being at the end of it?
I wanted you but I am far over the idea that I’ll ever need you. Conclusion were drawn from transient make-beliefs and now I think, I should let myself not assume so many things I make myself do.
Here I stand hoping from last year that my love for you wasn’t true, because in case it was, it seems like I lost it hard.
I’d be lying if I said I remember the reason I left you and I wish I did because I want to remind myself that it wasn’t a mistake.
However, I’m done telling everyone that you were wrong for me when the truth was that I was not good enough for anybody.
How do you celebrate when you have won a battle but then you realise that battle was with your own damn self? I guess there are no winners then, just survivors.
I lost my mind when you lost a friend in me. Nothing comes easy but few mistakes have a huge price and we always had a knack at being on the wrong side of the wall.
But I do ask you, will you ever do wrong things yourself to avoid being at the end of it?
I wanted you but I am far over the idea that I’ll ever need you. Conclusion were drawn from transient make-beliefs and now I think, I should let myself not assume so many things I make myself do.
