Manali Manan Desai's Blog, page 30

An Ode to Friendship

Photo by Sam Manns on Unsplash

Alone in a crowded school bus, 

The girl’s educational journey began thus.

Out of the house and away from loved ones for the first time, 

She was scared and nervous about this new climb. 

The school gates opened for her a treasure new,

The world and its people she slowly came to knew. 

The classrooms and the teachers she started to like more and more, 

However, in the friend’s department, she was still to score. 

Reading and studying most of the time, 

She hardly to anyone said a word,

Soon she became labelled 

As the teacher’s pet and a nerd. 

Things changed when she saw,  

A new face one day. 

An empty seat on the school bus, 

started a friendship that would go a long way. 

Though both were poles apart, 

They were always seen together. 

One the class topper, the other a prankster, 

The friendship truly became for them, an anchor. 

Exchanging notes, studying, gossiping, 

They did it all together. 

Neither realized when the school years passed by, 

And it was time to bid each other a goodbye.

Both had different career goals

Hence had to part ways. 

But they promised to not let 

Distance come in their way. 

Over the years, different time zones 

And busy schedules too, 

Failed to break apart these two. 

Both were now successful and happy in their life and career, 

With one being a doctor and the other, a military engineer. 

The reunion was where they met after a long time, 

All their teachers and ex-classmates 

Were surprised to see their bond still so strong. 

They were admired by everyone for keeping their friendship alive, 

Despite being burdened with responsibilities and busy routines. 

Reminiscing the old days, the conversation 

Soon steered to who was doing what,

The prankster’s achievements surprisingly received

The most compliments and praise.

The prankster then told them all, 

about herself and the nerd

Saying she owed it all to their bond, 

that was special, even though a little absurd. 

The nerd told them how it all began, 

and how life got better by having such a friend. 

Both of them weren’t accepted or liked by many, 

And if the seat next to hers hadn’t been vacant that day, 

Life, for both of them, would have been quite different. 

****

Note: This poem is an excerpt from my debut book A Rustic Mind. 

Wish you all a very happy friendship day. This poem is an ode to those angels in our lives who make us believe in ourselves. If not for good friends, none of us would see the best and the worst in the self. We definitely would not see self-growth, if they didn’t encourage or believe in us. So, remember to be grateful for them and to them, today and every day. 

Note: This blog is a part of Blogchatters #halfmarathon

The Ladies Compartment by Parminder Kaur Sharma

Blurb (as on Amazon)

It started like any other day for her. The same train, the same route. Little did she know, today her train would be taking her on an unforgettable journey.

Five thrilling stories of love, betrayal, and deception, inspired by true events.

Vaidehi, Tarini, Bhavya, Ramaa and Bhaumi, all had one thing in common. They did not know to give up, to lose hope despite being stuck in the maze of lies and betrayal.

Would they be able to uncover the hidden truth and find their true purpose, their true identity?

Would they be able to break the so-called norms and stand against society and their own families?

Order now to hop into The Ladies Compartment, to witness the extraordinary tales of ordinary women.

Genre: Fiction/Short Stories

Pages: 91

Format: Kindle eBook/Paperback

Price:

Kindle eBook: 189 INR/$2.99Paperback: 299 INR/$6.50

My Ratings: 4.6/5

A girl commuting on the Delhi Metro has an interesting encounter one day. She learns about her cocommuters. These women who travel with her almost everyday, seem to be ordinary, but their lifestories are nothing short of inspiring. Meet Vaidehi, Tarini, Bhavya, Ramaa and Bhaumi, who all narrate their unique struggles and how they overcame them.

Book cover taken from Amazon

What I liked about the book:
-> With an unusual plotline this book brings forth stories of hope from ordinary humans, like you and me that strike a chord with us because of their relatability.
-> Each of the stories is heart-warming and inspiring and the best part about them is that they don’t come off as a grand show on feminism. Rather, it speaks for countless women, like you and me, who sometimes forget to cheer for themselves.
-> The dry sense of humor, especially in Vaidehi. I loved how her character points out the fakeness in the society.
-> Each story/chapter begins with a relevant quote, kind of laying out what to expect from the story and building up excitement in the reader.
-> Through its simple and ordinary stories, the book is a reminder for all the women to applaud themselves for never giving up which is what I liked the most about this book.

What I did not like about the book:
-> I wish we could also know the lead character’s story

Quotable quotes:
-> The moment someone tells you not to panic, the intensity of it rises exponentially.
-> People tend to put on a tough face for the outer world-but inside their pain is oozing out.
->When deprived of something, find a higher purpose.
->If we refer to these gadgets as smart, what would they be referring to us as, dumb humans, maybe?
->We all have a purpose in our lives. All we need to do is follow our inner callings and find it.
-> Our casual questions, answers to which does not even matter to us, can be so disturbing for someone.
->Home is a place where you own yourself, it’s not a mere possession, it’s about ownership.
-> Your identity is not limited to your body. You are unique. You are complete.
->It takes a fraction of a second to change your life. Never challenge destiny. When you say “I would never do”, it will make sure to put you in a situation where you are left with no other choice.
-> My mother played the shot she was best at. She started crying.
->My mother gave her consent without waiting for my father’s response. She had this privilege of acting on his behalf at her ease.
-> Accidents happen. It can happen to anyone. It’s not in our hands. What matters is, how we hold our life and how we move on, after life throws a challenge before us. How we muster the courage to face the world.
-> Sometimes in order to protect our children, we end up making their lives even more difficult.
-> Falling down does not make you a a failure. Not getting up makes you one.
-> It is said that time is the best healer. But it doesn’t heal. Time makes you learn to live with your wound for life.
-> It’s our fault too. We are responsible to some extent that people cheat on us. Because women feel the need for a man to survive.
-> It’s not fair to judge everyone for what one person did. Some people do change, but that’s not important. The important thing is how can we allow deceitful people to exploit us?
-> It’s the attitude of society mostly that makes us feel helpless and incomplete. Hence we fall prey to people who we should not have trusted in the first place.
-> Getting into a new relationship or starting over is not wrong. But just because you need someone in your life in order to survive is sheer foolishness.
-> Do not wait for someone else to take a stand for you. Take the lead. Do it for yourself.
-> It’s high time we start thinking about our own self. It’s not being selfish, it’s being sane.

Buying details:

Amazon IndiaAmazon.com

Author’s social media handles:

WebsiteTwitterInstagramFacebook

Aai My Cutiepie by Megha Lunkad

Blurb (as on Amazon)

I hope this book receives safely at your door. Hello Readers, I am Megha Lunkad, Author of Aai My Cutiepie. By the title, I hope you will smile. I am the girl who believes in spreading love and miracle, who gives her best to solve the trouble, who believes in spreading sparkle. The girl who is linked with overthinking. I know many of us will not take a load when it comes to reading a book. But this is the road that will take you ahead and give you a new look. I am glad you choose to read this book. I hope you realize the blessing you overlook. This book connects us, and you can trust this book to give you a surplus. People have a body full of blood. My pen has ink full of words. Happy Reading. Keep loving.

Pages: 65

Genre: Nonfiction/Essay/Family & Relationships

Format: Kindle eBook/Paperback

Price:

Kindle eBook: 49 INR/$2.99Paperback (available only in India) : 149 INR

My Ratings: 3.1/5

Mothers are angels for all children, irrespective of our ages. This book is a reminder of how and why we need to appreciate the many big and small things our mothers do for us.

Book cover taken from Amazon

What I liked about the book:
-> The A to Z full forms of every alphabet and the explanation of how mothers are special.
-> It is a sweet memoir to the author’s mother and in fact both her parents.
-> It makes you nostalgic about your childhood and reminiscence the many cherished memories between you and your mother.
-> The incidents from her own life that the author has used to make her point. These add a personal touch to the book and make the reading relatable.
-> The little exercise/questions at the end of every chapter that makes you ponder about important things in life, especially your family relationships.

What I did not like about the book:
-> The language is too simple and colloquial which the avid readers will find off-putting. A round of editing would surely have made the book more compelling and error-free.
-> It felt more of talk and no show.

Quotable quotes:
-> Best friend is one with whom you don’t need words to explain your feelings. They understand your emotions, the ones with whom you share your darkest secrets and happiest moments.
-> You need to prove yourself by being yourself, not by how the world looks at you.
–> Our moms are also daughters. That’s why they understand their daughters better.
-> You do your best, leave the rest, and make sure that your intention is so pure that no one can take away your goodness.
->Never let someone change your smile into tears and never let someone’s opinion give you fear. The one who doubts your identity will never know about your capabilities.
-> Having someone who understands the pain behind your smile is a blessing.
-> Only the person who loves us can understand our mood just by looking at our face.
-> When someone questions your identity, you break down.
-> People will pull you down. It’s in your hands to push them out. Don’t let others make you happy or break you in pieces.
-> To make someone like me, I don’t need to try my true self, be it my best or worst.
-> Don’t let the world see your negatives because they will misuse them.

Buying details:

Amazon IndiaAmazon.com

Author’s social media profiles:

Instagram

No Home

Photo by Hamza NOUASRIA on Unsplash

Do you ever wonder about books

and their possession?

We claim them to be ours,

but do they ever really belong,

only to us?

They might have passed so many hands,

Before they come to us.

Or get passed from our hands,

To so many who read them after us.

Even after they find a place

In our homes and hearts,

They’re never there to stay.

Someone might pick up and read them,

Anytime and any day.

We might someday lose them,

Or pass them on to someone.

Maybe even lend them to a person,

Who forgets to return.

They not only don’t ever stay in one place,

But they also take the reader to so many places.

Ah! The joy and smiles the pages in books spread,

It’s so amazing that they probably never find a permanent home,

But they make so many who read them,

Feel at home.

****

Thank you for reading.

How to contact me:Connect with me on LinkedIn.Subscribe to my YouTube channel.Follow me on Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter.Send me an email: arusticmind@gmail.com/manali1988@gmail.com

Beautiful Mess by Yuktha Asrani

Blurb (as on Amazon)

Whoever said you can’t have your cake and eat it too, had yet to meet Chirag Malhotra. Born into wealth and fame, Chirag has a life many could only dream of. Constantly on a winning streak with the ladies, Chirag is the most sought-after bachelor in Delhi. The unexpected strikes and Chirag is smitten from the moment a curly-haired hot mess steps out of a plane. Kajol is completely off-limits, but the sparks between them can melt glaciers.

Kajol Kapoor is down in the dumps, living a hard life in New York City. But a surprise thrown her way turns her life topsy-turvy. It just so happens that Kajol needs a favour and Chirag is more than happy to oblige. Chirag is her best friend’s brother. He is the one-man Kajol truly wants but knows she can’t have. She hopes to mask her insane attraction for him just like she had been doing in the past. As Kajol gets to know the real Chirag, she discovers there is more to the man behind the fat bank account and the Casanova image.
Would she complete her project with her heart intact, or would she give into temptation?

Genre: Fiction/Romantic Comedy

Pages: 306

Format: Kindle eBook/Paperback

Price:

Kindle eBook: 49 INR/$2.99Paperback: 249 INR/$7.54

My Ratings: 4.3/5

Jobless and almost bankrupt Kajol Kapoor, lands on an unexpected blessing from her deceased grandmother. To convert this blessing into a dream project, she needs help from Mr.Oh-so-gorgeous of Chirag Malhotra, who also happens to be her best friend’s brother. Will Kajol be able to see her project through while trying to mask her obvious attraction towards Chirag?

Book cover taken from Amazon

What I liked about the book:

-> The way the Malhotra house and Kajol’s B&B have been described. It’s easy to visualize their beauty and makes you want to visit them in real.
-> The supporting characters have depth and are articulately portrayed. It is so amazing that each character has a significant role to play, sooner or later in the larger context of the story.
-> The story has the right dose of drama, suspense, love, and lots of LOL moments.
-> The transition between the PoVs is very smooth.
-> Kajol’s cutesy interactions with Ben (Saanvi’s toddler). They make you go ‘aww’. I especially loved a particular scene where teaches Ben (and another kiddo in the Malhotra clan) how to say the famous line by Joey from F.R.I.E.N.D.S aka ‘How you doin’?’. That whole sequence is just too cute.
-> The romance between the older couples, aka Chirag’s and Kajol’s parents is too adorable and makes you crave such an undying love.
-> The camaraderie and banter between Chirag and his friends, especially Sourabh and Aditya. They remind us of how friends always pull each other’s legs and insult each other through jokes.
-> The conversations between Jiya and her mind. These are so relatable and funny because we all have inner thoughts and our actions or what we show outwardly are usually the complete opposite of the turmoil that goes on in our minds.

What I did not like about the book:
-> I kind of had an idea of who the bad guy would turn out to be.
-> A bit more drama between Chirag and his father, or Chirag and his brothers, might have added more shock factor.

Quotable quotes:
-> High-heeled tan boots weren’t designed for comfort.
-> Quitting her job had been good for her self-esteem but not for her finances.
-> A good support system is what helps one grow and flourish.
-> A new day brings with it new opportunities.
-> The way he saw it if he wanted to see the rainbow he had to put up with the rain.
->’What are you doing?’
‘Stress eating.’
‘Who stress eats on a fruit? That defeats the entire purpose of stress eating.’
-> Life was too short for regrets.
-> It’s not enough if you are brilliant. It’s all about the marketing. Marketing is even more important than the actual product you create.
-> It takes time to build a business.
-> Reformed rakes make the best husbands.
-> it’s okay to be scared. Being scared means you care. It means you’re about to take a chance and do something out of your comfort zone.
->Saying try to get over it is easier said than done.
-> As long as our hearts are in the right place and we are trying to make things better, that’s good, right?
-> Love is messy and that’s what makes it great.

Buying details:

Amazon IndiaAmazon.com

Author’s social media handles:

Instagram

DIY Assessment of Your Writing

Photo by J. Kelly Brito on Unsplash

Writers are anxious beings, always full of self-doubt. Though that fear of being judged for our writing never goes away, here’s a three-step guide that helped me develop some confidence in my writing.

Writers are anxious beings, full of self-doubt whose fear of being judged for their writing never goes away.

Who knows? These pointers might help you get over that self-doubt too.

1. Read it out aloud

Reading the written matter in your mind might make you skip over some typos and grammatical errors.

For adults, hearing a story read aloud helps comprehension on a deeper level because it forces you to focus rather than skimming over the words. For writers, read-aloud is a habit that helps improve writing skills, as it forces you to be more attentive to your words. — David Sedaris

So read what you write, aloud. Besides spotting the errors, you might also find yourself realizing that some sentences can be better constructed.

2. Read the piece as a reader, not as a writer

This is easier said than done, I know. It’s especially tough when you’ve just written something. So what I generally do is, let the piece lay dormant for some time (ideally 2–3 days) and go back and read it with fresh eyes and a fresh mind, forgetting altogether that I’m the producer/creator of it. This helps me look at it objectively from the PoV of a consumer/reader.

Let the piece lay dormant for some time and go back and read it with fresh eyes and a fresh mind.

Try to forget that you’re the producer/creator of the content and look at it objectively from the PoV of a consumer/reader.

3. Ask yourself ‘Is this the best I can give to this piece of writing?’

We can be biased towards our work. But in our hearts and mind, we know when we’ve done something half-heartedly and when we’ve put our complete heart and soul into something.

So before saying to yourself, ‘Okay, I’m done with this’ take some (or many) breaks if needed and ask the litmus test self-assessment question, ‘Is this my best work?’

In our heart of hearts, we know when we’ve done something half-heartedly and when we’ve put our complete heart and soul into something.

If the answer is no, you know what gotta do.

In conclusion, I want to leave you with a thought that helps me continue forth in my writing journey.

“Talent is cheaper than table salt. What separates the talented individual from the successful one is a lot of hard work.” ~ Steven King

****

Thank you for reading.

How to contact me:Connect with me on LinkedIn.Subscribe to my YouTube channel.Follow me on Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter.Send me an email: arusticmind@gmail.com/manali1988@gmail.com

My Childhood Self is Sorry

Photo by Martin Reisch on Unsplash

It’s been a month since I turned 33. As I cruise towards middle adulthood and a probable midlife crisis with increased anxiety and body aches, I can’t help but flashback to my teenage and early 20s.

I distinctly recall considering 30 and beyond to be officially old.

I even remember how most women in their late 20s and early 30s used to get hurt or offended when I referred to them as “aunty”.

As I’m now officially an “aunty” myself, I completely understand what made those women go wide-eyed with shock.

I also want to go back in time and give my younger self a smack on the head for not being more thoughtful.

Anyhoo, my life back then was pretty much like the kids of my generation who grew up in India in the 90s. It circled around studies and watching teenage dramas and movies (more of books in my case). One such series that was really popular among schoolgoers and college kids was Remix.

It circled around the lives of school-going children with two lead pairs.

Though the content and plot were pretty much predictable, as a teenage viewer, it was appealing because one could easily find themselves in these characters.

Source: Times of India

I rolled my eyes at most episodes, but I hung on to it because of two major reasons:

A. It made me feel inclusive. Most girls in my batch discussed this series and I felt I just had to watch it in order to feel more accepted and become a part of their group discussions.

B. The show had really good music.

Now, the thing that caught me by surprise about this show was, one of the female leads was in her early 30s.

When a girl from my batch said, “You know the girl who plays Tia Ahuja is 32!” I was shell-shocked.

Yes, someone I (or rather we) would typically call an ‘aunty’ was playing the character of somebody belonging to our age group. This became a hot topic of discussion for many days.

Source: TheStorypedia

All of us, even those who didn’t follow the show, wanted to know:

How does she look our age?

How is she able to pull off the role so convincingly?

We were so judgy and eager to jump to conclusions that none of us, even for a second realized that the women around us (our mothers, aunts, teachers, et al) were the same age as the actor. Not to mention, they were all quite fit and beautiful as well.

In a few weeks, as would be typical of teenagers, our interest in this topic dwindled. We got over the shock and continued being fans of the show, nonetheless.

Now that I am 33 myself, I look back at these memories with a certain regret. I’m left wondering about two things:

1. How old do I look?

At this point, I only have admiration and respect for that particular actor. She was not only beautiful but also enviably fit for her age. For that matter, I now have a newfound respect for any actor who can manage looking younger than their actual age.

(Disclaimer: I am not talking about male actors here. Certainly not male actors in their 50s and 60s who are still portraying characters of college going students. And quite unconvincinly so, I might add)

I find myself thinking about my own fitness and appearance. How old do I look? This question often hounds me. But it soon passes away when I realize how tough it must be for the actors. They must be under constant stress to look or dress a certain way. And I feel fortunate that I’m under no such pressure. Yeah sure, I want to look and feel young. But don’t we all? That brings me to my next point.

2. Were we conditioned to believe that the life/youth of a woman is potentially over once she hits the age of 30?

Men aging makes them look more authoritative, accomplished, distinguished. Sadly, it’s not that way for women, and they will tell you.

– Ruqaiyyah Waris Maqsood

Women have always been made to feel that they need to look attractive. I remember being advised to lose weight and dress more girly almost every day, and by almost everyone. So, a character like Tia Ahuja, who played someone my age, but was double my age in real life, and yet looked and behaved more like someone my age, was hard to digest for me.

I envied and admired her simultaneously. Was I wrong? Or was society wrong? I still wonder!

In conclusion,

My childhood self is sorry for falling prey to such norms, that I now realize were wrong.

Whatever one’s age, it doesn’t really matter, as long as you are fit, and happy with yourself the way you are.

Do you remember such instances from your childhood? What was your favorite show growing up?

****

Thank you for reading.

How to contact me:Connect with me on LinkedIn.Subscribe to my YouTube channel.Follow me on Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter.Send me an email: arusticmind@gmail.com/manali1988@gmail.com

What Indifference Leads To

Photo by Javardh on Unsplash

Anger,

annoyance,

irritation,

self-doubt,

stress,

Anxiety.

All because somebody made me out to be a liar,

And someone I most definitely am not.

It began with dislike,

I began to believe that I would be alone in this.

Then it landed on indifference,

When I realized there are still those who believe.

So what difference does it make if one or a few don’t?

All that matters is somebody, even one person

Has got your back!

That’s enough to lead you to blissful oblivion.

*****

Thank you for reading.

How to contact me:Connect with me on LinkedIn.Subscribe to my YouTube channel.Follow me on Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter.Send me an email: arusticmind@gmail.com/manali1988@gmail.com

Somewhere Beyond Hope by Deepali Adhikary

Blurb (as on Amazon):

A young girl who wants to believe in ‘happily ever after’.
A boy who wants to fight hard to hold onto his picture-perfect world.
An almost broken marriage and a mother who will now live with guilt all her life.

Jenny was blissfully unaware of what lay for her in the future. She was happy in her world which revolved around her mother. When her world in taken over by a monster of a stepfather, Jenny finds solace in a schoolmate. For Jatin, Jenny is the only one he can call a friend and he will go to any lengths to keep her safe. But how far he would have to go?
Meera’s seemingly perfect world comes down crashing when a tragedy strikes. Her perfect marriage succumbs, and she is left with nothing. She clings on to hope with all her might that things will get better. But what if they do not? For how long she will survive before grief and guilt drown her?

Genre: Fiction/Family Drama

Pages: 174

Format: Kindle eBook/Paperback

Price:

Kindle eBook: 149 INR/$2.99Paperback (available only in India): 225 INR

My Ratings: 4.8/5

Jenny feels that her ‘happily ever after’ exists with herself and her mother Preeti. But her dreams are soon shattered and she finds herself feeling isolated when her mother remarries and Prashant enters their life. He is a strict disciplinarian who disapproves of almost everything that brings Jenny happiness. Uprooted from her old school and friends, she is drowned in her sorrows and loneliness. Jenny’s only solace is her new friend Jatin. He is Jenny’s junior in school, a popular boy who is everybody’s favorite but seems to be lonely too. But will he be able to help Jenny out from the pit of darkness she has fallen into?

Book cover taken from Amazon

What I liked about the book:
-> It highlights the impact of remarriage, separation/divorce between parents, on children.
-> Prashant’s character sends out an important message that an abusive childhood is likely to produce an abusive adult who repeats the same kind of behavior on other children once they grow up.
-> The way the author has shown how grief shakes us all and how one never really moves on from the loss of losing a loved one.
-> The story of each character in this book is brilliantly narrated. We cry and heal with them, waiting for the next chapter eagerly to find the ray of hope they’re looking for.
-> Preeti and Meera are intense characters, completely opposite and yet so similar. Sometimes we question their choices and even hate them for some decisions. But we also kind of empathize with their loneliness and pain.

What I did not like about the book:
-> It becomes preachy at times and I wish there was more dialogue to prove the many insightful points the author makes.
-> Somewhere in the middle, a reader might feel like the story is going off track. Though it all makes complete sense in the end, this can be a little off-putting.

Quotable quotes:
-> ‘Happily ever after’ happens only in movies.
-> Most people add an extra zing to their tones when meeting somebody for the first time to ensure that they sound happy.
–> It would be unfair on anyone if they didn’t give happiness one more chance.
-> Taking a stand shows your character.
-> One should invest time in improving oneself as a person.
-> Parents have funny ways to express their love. Embarrassing children in front of their friends was their favorite.
-> Baseless optimism isn’t something that can thrive for long.
-> Certain things are beyond our control.
-> Sometimes things do not work out the way we want to.
-> Once a train of thoughts has already begun in our mind, they have a funny way. They are vague, totally irrelevant, and come ceaselessly one after the other.
-> Sometimes you don’t need words to fill the vacuum. Just the presence of someone special is enough.
-> It was liberating to finally say out loud the things she had kept to herself so far.
-> Affordability and convenience generally find preference over comfort and luxury.
-> Grief can be twice as powerful as happiness. It engulfs you and pulls you down into the deepest ravines where no ray of hope can penetrate. It sucks the air out of your lungs and leaves you gasping for breath. Even if you muster some energy to come up and try to live, it pulls you back with so much force that you gasp for every ounce of life.
-> A mother’s heart knows no reasons.
-> We generally don’t open our hearts to someone randomly. We mostly don’t want sympathy but just someone who would listen to us.
-> Some things are beyond our control. We have to learn to live with it. It is easier said than done but you have to try. You have to begin somewhere.
–> The grip of your grief is strong. But don’t let yourself sink. Breathe before you drown.
-> It was pain that held them together. They shared a common bond of heartache and they had to help each other to swim through it.
-> Love is a strange thing. It is found in most uncommon places. One can yearn for it for a lifetime and still not find it. And sometimes it is right beside you. All you have to do is reach out to it and accept it. When found, it brightens every single moment.
-> A relationship is like a growing plant. Initially, the new shoots look beautiful and shiny but they are not yet ready to face the harsh weather. A new relationship also looks rosy and promising but it is also not ready to face the ups and downs of life. You have to nurture it delicately for it to flourish. You need to tend to it till it finds its roots and becomes strong enough to withstand the lashes of time. You need to pull out the unwanted weeds of doubts and misunderstanding and keep adding the manure of empathy and patience. We don’t nurture it and put it out there mercilessly to face the brutalities and demands of our lives when it is still immature. If we give it time, it would bloom into something beautiful. Power and money are what men can really love.
-> Money and power are just the means to live, but love makes it complete.
-> Men aren’t capable of loving. At least not like women do. It is somewhere on the list of things they are happy about but certainly not at the top of it. We are wired differently. Accept it.
-> We should be upset with each other when expectations are not met. Isn’t that supposed to be normal? Having expectations from people you love? Making unreasonable demands from each other and hoping that they attempt to fulfil them. Loving each other for making those attempts? That was normal. Not expecting anything was the problem.
-> In an attempt to not come in each other’s way, they slithered away from each other.
–> Life doesn’t make deals. It plays on its terms.
-> What had to happen has happened. It cannot be changed.
-> Children have a different way of dealing with death and loss. Like adults, they cannot grieve openly. It is difficult for them to understand the loss. Death can have one of the two impacts on them- either their young mind doesn’t let the loss sink in deep, preventing them from understanding the grief that comes with it, or the mind completely succumbs to the shock and makes a small part of the brain reserved for that pain forever. The pain will emerge from that place every time the child deals with death.
-> She didn’t want to let the mistakes of her past define her future. But was she strong enough to go back and mend something which was so badly broken?
-> Let us not let the mistakes of our past haunt us in future but let the charming memories make us smile every time we think of them.

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The Age of Opinions

Photo by Karsten Winegeart on Unsplash

Jinay had no idea it would lead to this. A few days back, when he decided to rant out his frustrations about the plight of necessities in the country, he was looking for a platform to get his frustration out.

He wanted to bring the concern to people’s attention. But the response he had got on that single post had brought him a name and fame he had neither sought for nor thought of.

But it did happen, and he enjoyed it while it lasted. He was a hero everywhere. Be it on TV, social media, or print media, he was being spoken about and spoken to by everyone.

It was a good feeling until it lasted, but he soon forgot about the purpose of the post in the fame game. It was to question the lack of basic infrastructure and facilities available to the commoner and solve it. Thus, the success of his post became a talking point about a subject without any fruitful results. This leads us to a burning question: Are we losing sight of success and our purposes in pursuing instant gratification?

Social validation has reached a point where people like Jinay are desperate and impatient for getting hands-on success immediately [which we are confusing with fame as well]. After a few days, the fame died down, and Jinay became just another lost face in the crowd.

What followed, for him, were days of frustration and depression. He had gotten used to being the center of attraction for a while. It was toxic; it gave him a different high. And now he wanted it again; he wanted it to last forever. Isn’t that the path many, generally, are leading down to and eventually ends up becoming disturbing one too?

What followed, for him, were days of frustration and depression. He had gotten used to being the center of attraction for a while. It was toxic; it gave him a different high.

Then came a time when Jinay’s own colleague, in fact, his junior, put up an idea about this issue in the next office meeting. He got approval for it and was later promoted to the same level as Jinay. This worked as adding fuel to Jinay’s frustrations.

The inferiority complex and comparisons drove him to the point of depression where his work, personal life, and even his health started taking a toll. He was in a constant race, trying to outdo others at every point. He wanted approval, liking, and fame [confusing it with recognition] on everything he did.

It was at this point that he heard about Sarahah. It became his escape from the real-life lack of recognition and approval that he anticipated he wasn’t receiving at all. It was also one of the things he felt he just had to do because everyone else talked about it and did it.

What if someone asked him, ‘Have you heard about this?” and he hasn’t and that became the reason for him being a loner.

Does his story sound familiar? If we hear about something, at times, we want to be the first one to break it to others or voice an opinion about it. Why is that so? Because we don’t want to miss out. Because we start to believe that everyone else is going to talk about it sooner or later. And we wish to be second to none!

If we hear about something, at times, we want to be the first one to break it to others or voice an opinion about it.

In the race of this fear of missing out and the race to prove who knows it first, we lead ourselves to misconceived perceptions. All in the name of attaining gratification instantly, in any case, anyhow. And believe it or not, for Jinay (and for many of us too), this race for getting instant success is a never-ending one!

The words by Aaron Levie strike me here, “Does it better” will always beat “Did it first”.

Amidst all this, Jinay forgot what he could, what his purpose was, and even his own identity somewhere. His motivation was only social validation rather than doing something meaningful or even doing anything at all, for that matter. The race for which he once ran was to act and to do. This was now replaced with the race to grab instant gratification. Fear of missing out, or what we generally get to hear, FOMO, did the rest.

He did not strive to know, learn and evolve. He just wanted to be in the category of ‘know-it-alls’ and act like he knew it all. When, in fact, he actually did so without ‘knowing-at-all.’

All Jinay wanted was some credit and to be successful in his own way. But with his impatience to reach there and in the race to getting social validation, being accepted and liked, he lost sight of what it was he actually wanted.

In the race to getting social validation, being accepted and liked, he lost sight of what it was he actually wanted.

The other part that aggravated this was ‘the fear of missing out and the feeling of ‘inferiority complex. The comparisons always drawn between him and somebody or the other made him seek out acceptance. There was this constant feeling of being left out. Hence he started pretending to be just like everyone else and, in fact, even trying to pretend to know more and better.

His phases of joy lasted only as long as he felt “thumbs up” coming in and would soon drown when he felt left out. This feeling of being left out, being the last one to know, made it difficult for him to focus on the things that mattered and act on things that brought him real happiness.

His phases of joy lasted only as long as he felt “thumbs up” coming in and would soon drown when he felt left out.

Was it worth it? No, of course not.

Was it ever going to end? That’s doubtful too!

What is it all for?

In the name of doing it first and for getting accepted by all, if not in reality, at least virtually.

****

Note: This story was originally published on The Naked Truth and later on The Venting Machine

Thank you for reading.

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