Mike Acker's Blog, page 9
March 16, 2020
Improve the Sound of Your Voice
You may not be a singer, however, how you sound can be as important as what you say. A pleasant voice brings your words to life and may put more money in your pockets.
A Duke University study found that CEO’s with lower-pitched voices ran larger companies, earned more money, and held onto their jobs longer. No wonder business executives, celebrities, and politicians often work with vocal coaches.
Even if your time and funds are limited, you can turn your voice into an asset. Take a look at these simple practices to help you polish your speech.
Caring for Your Voice
1. Breathe deeply. Breathing from your diaphragm instead of your chest will help you to project your voice and give you more confidence. At the same time, relaxing your mouth and throat gives you greater control.
2. Develop resonance. Humming is an easy way to warm up your voice. The lower you go into your chest, the more powerful you’ll sound.
3. Avoid strain. Swallowing is gentler than coughing when you need to clear your throat. Keep irritants like alcohol, smoke, and dairy products to a minimum. Rest your voice if you find that you’ve overdone it by talking too long or too loudly.
4. Pace yourself. Rapid speech is great if you’re a race track announcer. Otherwise, try breaking your thoughts down into phrases just long enough so that you can say them comfortably with a single breath.
Connecting With Your Audience
1. Focus on friendly faces. If crowds make you nervous, scan the room for individuals who are smiling and making eye contact. Imagine you’re talking directly with them.
2. Tell stories. It’s easier to get your message across when you use interesting and memorable stories. When you enjoy your own tales, your enthusiasm shines through.
3. Encourage conversation. Great speakers also know how to listen and promote interaction. Show up early so you can chat with others beforehand. Invite questions and comments.
4. Give generously. While you’re working on the technical aspects of your voice and performance, keep your purpose in mind. What do you want to share with others? How can they benefit from what you have to say?
More Tips for Dynamic Speaking
1. Practice regularly. Voice training is like any other skill. Take advantage of opportunities to work on your performance. Record yourself so you can identify your natural strengths and areas you want to work on.
2. Study others. See how presidents and anchormen engage their listeners. Watch videos, listen to podcasts, and read transcripts. Take notes about ideas you want to borrow and build on. Adapt their lessons to suit your own style.
3. Eliminate fillers. Too many “ums” and “uhs” can undermine you credibility. Plan for transitions so you won’t be fumbling for what to say next. If you need a second to reflect, try pausing instead of filling the gap with meaningless language. Tuning out internal and external distractions can also help you stay on track.
4. Watch your body language. Mastering nonverbal communication will reinforce the positive impression your voice makes. Stand up straight so you look open and relaxed. Use gestures to emphasize key points and keep things lively.
5. Acknowledge your feelings. Even movie stars and self-help gurus can have stage jitters. When you’re feeling anxious about addressing a group, accept your feelings and transform them into positive excitement. Take the focus off yourself and concentrate on how to help others.
Change your speech habits from dull to dynamic. Making the most of your own natural voice will help you to communicate your ideas and enjoy more success.
– Mike Acker
PS: Our team can help you with this! Schedule a FREE time to discover how our team can work to advance your goals: https://advance.as.me/discovery
President of ADVANCE
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March 3, 2020
Read This Before You Exaggerate on Your Resume
There’s a lot of pressure to embellish your resume but lying about your qualifications could be disastrous.You may be confused about where to draw the line, especially if you’re new to the job market or returning after some time off.
If so, you have plenty of company. About 46% of adults know someone who has included false information on a resume, according to a survey by the staffing firm OfficeTeam.
It’s a disturbing situation because the risks and consequences of getting caught are so high. Hiring managers may notice inconsistencies between your online profile and your application or your new boss may have a conversation with one of your former coworkers. As a result, you could lose a job offer or even be fired.
You can avoid exaggerating on your resume and still present yourself as an outstanding candidate. Try these alternative strategies for making your experience and education sound as impressive as possible without stretching the truth.
Being Honest About Your Experience:
1. Seek professional help. If you’re having trouble attracting job offers or feel like you need to market yourself more effectively, consider working with a job coach or a resume service. Someone with expertise in human resources can help you deal with weaknesses and showcase your strengths.
2. List correct dates. Gaps in employment history are common these days. Explain how you used your downtime productively with contract work or volunteering.
3. State your job title. What if you operated at a higher level than your job title suggests, or few employers would understand what it even means? Put the official label on your resume, but back it up with additional details about what you actually did.
4. Describe your role. You’ve probably been advised to focus on your impact and quantify your achievements. Use your judgement and ask others for feedback if you think you may be getting too creative. Persuading one customer to order a $20 entree instead of a $10 dish is different from doubling sales.
5. Assess your skills. Is there a long list of software programs and foreign languages at the bottom of your resume? Be sure to describe your level of proficiency and fluency accurately. You may be tested during the hiring process or on the job.
6. Consider your hobbies. Unless your pastimes are relevant to the position, you can usually leave them off. If you do mention them, pick activities you really participate in.
7. Do volunteer work. Supporting worthy causes is a great way to make your resume stand out. If you’ve been neglecting your charitable side, it’s easy to catch up. Call a volunteer hotline or ask your neighbors about local nonprofits they like.
8. Disclose your salary. You can get a raise without inflating your last salary. Many employers rely more on market value and their own budget in determining compensation. Practicing your negotiation skills will help too.
Being Honest About Your Education:
1. Forget about grades. Outside of academia, few employers will want to hear about your GPA. On the other hand, you might want to brag about graduating summa cum laude if the facts bear it out.
2. Declare your major. Cheer up even if the job ad specifies a different major than yours. Most companies are flexible about such matters.
3. Complete your degree. Claiming fictitious degrees can be hazardous to your career. If you need additional credentials to advance, consider going back to school or taking additional courses at a local university or online.
Honesty is the safer policy when it comes to applying for a job. Design a resume that will help you sell yourself and double check the contents to ensure you’re painting an accurate picture of your background and potential.
– Mike Acker
President of ADVANCE
The post Read This Before You Exaggerate on Your Resume appeared first on ADVANCE, COACHING AND CONSULTING LLC.
February 17, 2020
Boost Your Immunity in Winter & for Stress
This is a bit different from my normal posts. However, many people I work with are sabotaging their immune system without even know it. Many common lifestyle habits can have a negative effect on the health of your immune system. When stress (or winter) hits, the pressure on the immune system is even worse.
A poor immune system can leave you more vulnerable to illnesses like the common cold and the flu, and even contribute to the development of cancer and other serious diseases. I’m not a medical professional, but I do know that you CAN work on your immune system, so here is some friendly advice.
Replacing bad habits with healthy habits can bolster the strength and effectiveness of your immune system.
Consider where you could implement healthier, immune-boosting habits:
1. Reduce stress. We’re all faced with a certain amount of stress in our lives. A small amount of stress is actually good for our health. However, excessive, chronic stress has a very negative impact on immune system health.
When you’re stressed, you become much more likely to develop a variety of illnesses.
2. Exercise. Moderate exercise of only 30 minutes a day increases several factors in the immune system. The most important of these is your leukocyte count. These are the cells that fight infection.
Sitting at a desk all day increases the odds of catching common ailments. Go to the gym or get out and take a brisk walk every day.
3. Avoid being overweight. Excess bodyweight greatly increases the likelihood of developing diseases like cancer, heart disease, and diabetes. Studies have also shown that being overweight has a negative impact on the immune system.
4. Watch your diet. Excess sugar consumption has a negative effect on immune system’s effectiveness when dealing with bacteria. This effect can be seen after the consumption of as little as 75 grams of sugar and continues for at least a few hours.
On the other hand, foods that are high in antioxidants and other nutrients boost the immune system. The best way to get all of these nutrients is by eating fruits and vegetables. Ideally, fill at least half your plate with vegetables.
5. Laugh. Laughing is great for you. It decreases the level of stress hormones in your body. It also increases a specific type of white blood cell. Even the anticipation of experiencing something humorous has a very positive effect on the immune system.
6. Avoid social isolation. A strong social network is a great boost to both your mental and physical health. Your immune system is especially affected.
Those with strong social connections and many close friends have a higher level of immunity than those that feel socially isolated.
The feeling of loneliness can actually affect the way genes behave.
7. Get enough sleep. Most adults require 7 to 9 hours of sleep to maintain good health. A lack of sleep can increase the likelihood of getting sick.
Insomnia can increase inflammation in the body, which inhibits your immune system’s responsiveness.
8. Practice relaxation techniques. Since chronic stress decreases immune system function, learning relaxation techniques will help return your immune system to healthy state.
Experiments have shown that regular meditation has a positive impact on your immune system.
Boosting your immune system is one of the most important things you can do for your health. It has a significant impact on longevity. Consider how many people die from the flu and other common ailments, especially as they age and their immune system function decreases.
You’ll also notice that these tips will enhance your overall well-being, as well as helping your immune system. Eating better, sleeping more, exercising, and relaxing will make you feel better every day. You’re going to like the way you feel!
– Mike Acker
President of ADVANCE
The post Boost Your Immunity in Winter & for Stress appeared first on ADVANCE, COACHING AND CONSULTING LLC.
February 3, 2020
Time Management vs Energy Management
Many of us are all too aware of time management. I get it. I manage several different roles and can easily work 80 hours a week in coaching, sales, leadership, and speaking. Can you relate? It seems that there just aren’t enough hours in the day and, as such, we feel the considerable need to make the most of the time we have.
There’s nothing wrong with that in theory. It’s commendable to want to make the most from our day and to achieve as much as possible. The issue, however, is that in many cases, we overlook something that is arguably even more important: energy management.
You Don’t Have Enough Time… Really?
Many of us feel as though we’d like to have more time in the day and that we could accomplish a whole lot more if we did.
What would you do with an extra ten minutes?
● Maybe you’d start a home business.
● Maybe you’d work out and get into incredible shape.
● Maybe you’d just keep the kitchen tidy.
But you probably already have all the time you need.
Think back to the week you had. Was there any point at which you weren’t being 100% productive?
● Maybe it was when you were flicking through Facebook.
● Maybe it was when you watched that 20-minute YouTube video that you really didn’t need to watch.
● Or maybe it was when you binged on four episodes of Game Of Thrones back-to-back.
In other words, you had plenty of time, but you just didn’t make the most of it. And most of us are like this.
And why didn’t you make the most of it? Simple: because you ran out of energy.
Everyone knows that time is limited, but they forget that energy is limited too.
Energy is Finite
This belief that we can do as much as we want to, as long as we can fit it into our day, is responsible for a lot of unfulfilled goals and ambitions.
Consider how many people plot a new training program. Often, they will start out by identifying they want to get into better shape (so far so good). Next, they decide they are going to follow a training program that consists of 5 workouts a week, each lasting about an hour (oh dear). What’s more, is that they do this while eating less.
The reason they were probably out of shape is that they didn’t have the energy to commit to being more active in the first place. Being stressed and tired likewise caused them to want to eat more things that weren’t conducive to weight loss.
So now, they intend to go from that, to adding four hours (7 if you add driving to the gym, showering, and more) of exertion, while having less energy in the form of food to help power them through it!
Why do you think that doesn’t work?
The Solution
The solution is to recognize this finite nature of energy and to realize that you need to dedicate some of your time to resting and recovering.
Just because you have the time to do something, doesn’t mean you’ll be able to do it.
So, if you want to start a new training regimen, then what does this mean? It means that you need to first stop doing something else. That could mean finding ways to make other tasks less time-consuming or stressful, such as getting a ride to work instead of commuting on a crowded train, for instance.
And if you want to be more productive and get through more of your to-do list at work, what do you do?
The answer is to ensure that you’re better rested, take regular breaks, and eat for energy. Keep your energy management in mind as you tackle your task list.
Energy management is just as important as time management – and more relevant. Don’t ignore it!
– Mike Acker
President of ADVANCE
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January 27, 2020
Clarify Your Goals for Greater Success
A goal is like a compass. It helps you focus on where you want to go in life and make positive progress to get there. However, it’s important to remember that you need clarity in your goals from time to time. You’ll want to make it as easy as possible for you to reach them. And to reach them you need to CLEARLY see them.
It may take some more time on your part, but when you write out detailed instructions for yourself instead of vague ideas, you have a much better chance at success. Not only do you know exactly what you need to do, but such plans also tend to invigorate you with more enthusiasm.
Follow these tips in order to clarify your goals:
1. Figure out your ultimate goal. What, exactly, do you want?
Instead of a goal like “I want to be successful,” get down to specifics, such as “I want to build my business to bring in at least $50,000 per month.”
2. Don’t be afraid of detail. You make the ultimate decision on what you want. Just don’t be afraid to set the details. Avoid goals like “I want to be rich” because there is no detail.
· How much money do you want to make?
· How many patients will you treat?
· What number of staff will be ideal?
· Why? What will this money provide for you that you desire?
· What lifestyle do you want? Cars, homes, ability to travel the world, philanthropy?
· How do you want to earn this money?
· When do you want this to happen?
· How can you prepare for this?
3. Break up your goals. When you stare at the ultimate goal, it may seem intimidating and unattainable. It’s important to break up your main goal into smaller goals. Write out detailed plans about how you’ll reach each of the smaller goals.
For example, if you want to start your own business, a small goal would be to research your local and federal business laws and register a name.
4. Give yourself deadlines. It’s vital to give yourself deadlines so you know you’re making progress towards your goals. Each of your small goals should have an attainable deadline.
In the business example above, maybe you’d give yourself a week’s time in order to research different business structures and laws.
5. Keep track. Make detailed notes about what you have done so far. Keeping track of your progress will help you stay organized and on top of your goals.
6. Make alternate plans. Sometimes you won’t be able to make the deadline you have set out for yourself, or maybe you’ll be unable to follow through with a current plan entirely. It’s important to think of alternatives in case certain situations don’t work out in your favor.
If you already have back up plans in place, you’ll save time if you run into snags on the way to your goals.
7. Get Organized. Organization can mean keeping all of your detailed plans and journals in a binder with tabs for easy access to your various sets of notes. Alternatively, you may opt to keep your materials organized by using project management software on your computer. Just remember to make backups of your digital information so that you don’t lose it.
No matter what method you’ve chosen, determine the details, set small attainable goals that lead toward your ultimate goals, be flexible so you can conquer challenges, and keep track of your progress. Doing these things will bring you ultimate clarity and success.
– Mike Acker
President of ADVANCE
The post Clarify Your Goals for Greater Success appeared first on ADVANCE, COACHING AND CONSULTING LLC.
January 17, 2020
Quick Tips for Making a Speech
If you find yourself in a position where you have to give a public presentation, you may be racked with nerves at the thought of standing in front of a group. It’s normal to be scared. After all, probably most people in your audience would be just as nervous in front of a crowd too!
Here are some QUICK public speaking tips to help you overcome your fear and set you up for success:
1. Practice makes perfect. Make your speech in front of a mirror or a friend so you can accurately time your speech and get into a rhythm. Practice speaking out loud, especially if there are hard to pronounce words or names.
2. You’re the expert, so speak with conviction. Even if you don’t know everything about the topic, you should know enough about it to make it through your speech.
3. Project your voice. Even though you’ll likely use a microphone, if you speak too softly your audience members in the back of the room might not hear you well.
Projecting your voice conveys confidence to your audience.
4. Maintain eye contact. Periodically glance around the room and use the 3-second rule while looking directly into someone’s eyes. Doing so will make your audience will feel more involved.
The 3-second rule means you take your eyes off your notes and look around the room.
Focus on a face for 3 seconds and then continue scanning the room.
5. Use humor in your speech. Even if you’re speaking about a dry topic, draw something funny into your speech. Not all of us are born comedians, so don’t go overboard on this if it isn’t natural.
6. Pause periodically. This gives your audience time to reflect and think about what you have said. This will also give you a breather so you can speak without feeling out of breath. It also paces what you say.
7. Use note cards. Note cards will remind you of the important points you want to make in your speech. Avoid writing out your entire speech and then reading it, however. This shows that you haven’t really practiced what you’re going to say and it can affect your speech if you start to fumble around for your place.
Short note cards with an outline of your topic or short facts can be helpful in keeping you on topic.
8. Don’t worry if you make a mistake. Everyone makes mistakes from time to time. If this happens to you, just go on with what you were saying. If you need to take a moment to re-align your thoughts, feel free to take it.
You’re in command of the stage when you’re the speaker.
9. Familiarize yourself with the audio-visual aids. Much like your speech, make sure all the equipment is working and that you’re familiar with the room and equipment ahead of time.
10. Speak to your audience. Be aware of your audience’s reactions to what you’re saying. If what you’ve said is not being understood, find a way to restate it.
11. Handouts are a good aid. You can do this one of two ways. Hand them out at the beginning of your presentation or as a summary at the end.
12. Keep your speech within the time parameters. Stop when your time is up. When you practice ahead of time, you’ll get good at keeping within the time limits.
Every good speaker has had to learn how to give a good speech through trial and error, so the more speeches you give, the better you’ll become!
Many speakers say that stage fright never really stops, but being prepared can definitely decrease the level of fear. Planning your speech ahead of time and talking about something you’re passionate about can be an amazing experience.
– Mike Acker
President of ADVANCE
The post Quick Tips for Making a Speech appeared first on ADVANCE, COACHING AND CONSULTING LLC.
September 25, 2019
5 Ways to Make Your Job More Meaningful
Whether you work in a hospital or supermarket, you can make your job more meaningful. According to some studies, nearly two thirds of Americans are dissatisfied at work. While you probably need your boss to approve a raise or a bigger office, these are some adjustments you can make on your own. Take a look at these 5 ideas for putting more purpose into your job.
Serve Others:
1. Help your coworkers. Our relationships with our colleagues play a big role in our happiness at work. Pitch in with assembling press packages or proofreading the annual report. Share your sandwich when your officemate is stuck on a conference call during lunch.
2. Create a great customer experience. You can brighten someone’s day by going the extra mile to help them feel delighted with their purchase. Take time to answer their questions and point out helpful features. Thank them warmly for doing business with you.
3. Advance the organizational mission. If your employer benefits society, you can find gratification in being part of the team. Maybe you raise awareness about lung cancer or design safer cars.
Develop Your Talents:
1. Upgrade your presentations. Make the most of your reporting responsibilities. Dazzle your supervisor with a multimedia presentation and compelling graphics when they ask you to research recycling vendors or conference venues.
2. Start an ambiance committee. Attractive and neat surroundings aid productivity and morale. Suggest forming a committee to make recommendations on how to beautify the office. Coordinate a company-wide cleanup day.
3. Share your hobby. Welcome your passions into the workplace. You could bring in flowers from your garden or take photographs at special events.
Have Fun:
1. Plan a party. Organize birthday parties for your department. Offer a surprise breakfast to celebrate National Dance Like a Chicken Day.
2. Promote good health. Encourage friendships and fitness. Put together a company softball team. Negotiate a group discount at a local gym.
3. Look at the funny side of things. Search for the humor in any situation. Look forward to the customers who bring in pictures of their cats.
Prepare to Move On:
1. Network extensively. If you believe it’s time to look for a different position, you can still use your time constructively. Try to make more contacts with those who can help you advance your career. Attend meetings and volunteer at the nearest chapter of your professional association. Invite people out to lunch and send them articles they might be interested in.
2. Document your accomplishments. Record achievements that will sound impressive on your resume. Adding value during your last days on the job will keep you motivated and energized.
3. Facilitate the transition. Remind yourself of what you like about your job and why you’re grateful to your current employer. Think of how you can create a smooth transition for your successor while you go off to find a new job, return to school, or start your own business. Even trivial tasks feel significant when you understand why you’re doing them. Feeling more content at work will reduce stress and add more meaning to your life.
– Mike Acker
President of ADVANCE
The post 5 Ways to Make Your Job More Meaningful appeared first on ADVANCE, COACHING AND CONSULTING LLC.
September 17, 2019
How to Appear Confident When You Really Aren’t
No one feels confident all of the time, but sometimes you need to appear confident. You might be on a date, have a job interview, or attending a company function. There are times it can be helpful to appear confident, even if you’re feeling anything but. There are plenty of things you can do to appear confident.
Try these tips to convince the world you’re confident. As you work to convince others, you will actually convince yourself.
1. Maintain good eye contact. Consider where confident people look while you’re engaged in a conversation with them. They aren’t looking at their feet or gazing around the room. They look you in the eye. This isn’t a staring contest, but look the other person in the eye the majority of the time.
2. Stand or sit up straight. Confident people don’t slouch. Stand tall and proud. The same goes for sitting. People that lack confidence slouch and try to appear as small as possible. Be tall and make people notice.
3. Keep your hands out of your pockets. This will reduce fidgeting. Showing your hands also shows confidence. Keep your hands where others can see them.
4. Avoid fidgeting. Your hands don’t have to be in your pockets to fidget. Avoid picking at your clothes, your face, or your hands. This is a sure sign of nervousness.
5. Smile. You’re happy and confident, so smile. Smiling puts others at ease. It puts you at ease, too.
6. Walk confidently. Watch movies to see how a confident person walks. Take purposeful strides. Look like you have someplace to go without looking like you need to get there in a hurry.
7. Speak slowly. Does James Bond speak quickly? No. He takes his time and enjoys the attention. Confident people have been shown to speak more slowly than the average person. Nervous people tend to speak more quickly. Slow down and take your time. People will assume you’re confident.
8. Unfold your arms. When you fold your arms, it looks like you’re trying to protect yourself. There’s nothing to fear, so unfold your arms, be tall, and smile. Just allow your arms to hang naturally by your side.
9. Keep your head up. There’s nothing interesting going on down on the floor. This is the human version of an ostrich sticking its head in the sand. If you’re pretending to be confident, keep your head up. By the way, an ostrich only sticks its head in the sand to check on its eggs.
10. Speak at a reasonable volume. When you’re feeling shy, you’re likely to speak too softly. It’s better to be a little too loud than a little too soft if you’re trying to appear confident.
11. Use gestures when you speak. Gesture naturally when you’re speaking. Watch your favorite actor for tips. Just ensure they’re playing a confident role!
12. Tell yourself that you’re confident. Repeat to yourself, “I am confident and powerful.” Keep repeating it to yourself. It will crowd out other thoughts, and you might even believe yourself. Try out a few affirmations and see which one makes you feel the best.
You can convince others that you’re feeling confident, even if you’re not. Adopt the mannerisms of someone that is confident, and you’ll look confident to the rest of the world. Tell yourself you’re a confident person. Pretend you’re confident and you’ll start feeling that way.
– Mike Acker
President of ADVANCE
The post How to Appear Confident When You Really Aren’t appeared first on ADVANCE, COACHING AND CONSULTING LLC.
September 11, 2019
Top 10 Reasons to be More Forgiving
It’s not always easy to be forgiving. I know this in my personal and my professional life. This happens in family relationships and in workplaces. It happens with coworkers and competitors. Frustrations arise and feelings turn negative for CEO’s, technicians, business owners, and every other role. It can get to the point where you might even wish the worst for another person. However, this is a mistake. So much time and energy are wasted by holding a grudge.
Most of the time, the other person doesn’t even know you’re thinking about them. They’ve already moved on. There is an easy solution: Complete forgiveness. Challenging? Yes, but essential.
Why is forgiving someone so essential?
Consider these reasons:
Forgiving reduces anger. You can’t be angry with someone if you’ve genuinely forgiven them. You’ll have much less anger in your life if you can be more forgiving. Anger is a harmful emotion that rarely comes in handy in today’s world.
Forgiving reduces conflict. The inability to forgive is the cause of many conflicts. You’ll enjoy more peace and less strife in your life when you forgive easily.
Forgiving is healthier.Anger and stress are experienced more often, and at higher levels, by those that hold a grudge. You’ll live longer and enjoy better health just by forgiving others.
Forgiving wastes less time. Holding a grudge takes a lot of time and energy. All the time spent thinking negative thoughts about someone else could be better spent on your own life and goals. You’re giving someone else your time when you fail to forgive.
Forgiving allows you to move forward. Holding onto anger puts your life in a holding pattern. It’s hard to accomplish anything meaningful when your mind isn’t on your work. Anger involves focusing on the past. Everything in your life only happens in the present.
Forgiving clears your mind. When you fail to forgive someone, that person takes up a lot of space in your head. The person and the offending situation intrude on your thoughts and degrade your concentration. A clear mind and forgiveness go hand in hand.
Forgiving allows you to make peace with your past. We all have things from our past that could haunt us if we allow them to. When you forgive the people from your past, you’re able to focus on the present and the future. Sometimes, the person you most need to forgive is yourself.
Forgiving allows relationships to survive. Every relationship you have may become a source of pain at some point. As a result, forgiveness is an important part of all types of relationships. If you don’t want to spend your life alone, forgiveness is necessary.
Forgiving increases the odds of being forgiven. When you do something for someone else, you’re more likely to receive the same behavior in return. Forgive someone and you’re more likely to be forgiven.
Forgiving can be the best revenge. There are some people that will intentionally try to hurt you. These are the type of people that want to see you suffer. They want you to dislike them and hold a grudge. The best way to get back at someone like this is to just forgive them. It will drive them nuts.
Forgiving isn’t the same as forgetting. There are plenty of people you should forgive, but not allow the opportunity to hurt or betray you again. One good example is an abusive relationship. Forgiving doesn’t mean returning to a dangerous situation.
Be more forgiving and your life will be much easier and happier. Holding a grudge hurts you more than it does the other person. Remember, forgiveness can be the ultimate ‘revenge.’
– Mike Acker
President of ADVANCE
The post Top 10 Reasons to be More Forgiving appeared first on ADVANCE, COACHING AND CONSULTING LLC.
September 6, 2019
Keys to Personal Development: Be the Tortoise and Win
Modern life is all about getting things done quickly. Microwave ovens, streaming movies, and cell phones perpetuate this lifestyle. However, personal development is more effective when done slowly. Significant changes take time. It’s also about the journey. The process of changing can be more meaningful than the benefits gained by the change.
Why personal development takes time:
1. Old habits take time to extinguish. It’s not easy to quit smoking or give up candy. It’s also not easy to stop thinking negative thoughts or procrastinating. Your current habits limit your life, enjoyment, and success. Even when you recognize their negative effects, though, it still takes time to get used to new ways.
2. If it were quick and easy, everyone would be successful. To attain a high level of success in any area of your life, time and effort are required. There are no shortcuts to success. Accept that developing yourself is an ongoing process that will continue for the rest of your life. You’ll avoid the urge to rush.
3. New habits take time to form. It common to hear that new habits require 21 days, 30 days, or 42 days. The truth is that it varies. Studies have shown that habits can require as long as 9 months to be established. It depends on the habit and the person. Real change requires the development of new, effective habits.
4. Your desires will change. When you’re hungry, all you want is food. When you’re lonely, all you desire in companionship. As your needs are met, your goals will change. It’s impossible to predict what you’ll want five years from now. Consider Maslow’s hierarchy of needs:
Self-actualization – living your purpose, finding meaning in life
Self-esteem – respect of others, confidence, achievement
Love and belonging – friendship, family, intimacy
Safety and security – health, career, personal property
Physiological needs – food, water, clothing shelter
We all start at the bottom of this hierarchy and work our way up. Only when the needs of one level are met can the next level be addressed. If you try to skip levels, your life becomes a mess. You probably won’t have goals related to realizing your inner potential if you can’t feed your family. Increasing your social circle is the furthest thing from your mind if you recently lost your job. Since you can’t predict what your future goals will be, your personal development will be a long-term process.
5. It’s all about the journey. Overcoming your fear of public speaking isn’t just about making more money at your profession. It’s about conquering your doubts and perceived limitations. If you could eliminate your fear by snapping your fingers, life would be too easy. Much of the enjoyment and meaning of life come from the battles we fight.
6. Repetition is often the most important component. Personal development is like getting in shape. There’s only so much change that can happen in one day. It’s when your efforts are repeated over the long-term that results happen.
Brushing your teeth once doesn’t accomplish a lot. Not brushing your teeth one day doesn’t do much either. It’s only after repeated brushing or neglect that the results become obvious. Crash dieting, winning the lottery, and studying all night for a semester exam rarely result in success. You’ve had similar experiences. Your personal development journey requires consistency to attain long-lasting results.
Instead of looking for the quick fix, search for strategies that require effort and commitment.
Relish the fact that you’re changing your life and putting in the work to make it happen.
Success is easier than you think, because so few people can keep a long-term perspective. Win the personal development race by being the tortoise.
– Mike Acker
President of ADVANCE
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