Mike Acker's Blog, page 5
September 4, 2020
Leadership Mistakes and How to Fix Them

You deserve to enjoy the benefits that come with being a leader. But sometimes it’s difficult to live up to the expectations of others. And the reality is that sometimes you’ll make mistakes.
As a leader, your mistakes can result in losing your successful advantage. If you use the right strategy to fix your mistakes, however, recovering from them becomes much easier.
Consider these leadership mistakes and how to fix them:
1. Ignoring the opinions of others. It’s true that you got into that leadership position by displaying admirable traits. Avoid forgetting the support team that helped you along the way. It’s important to value the opinions and ideas of those who supported you.
· Ask for ideas even when they’re not needed. As a leader, showing continued belief in the team makes it easier to gain and keep their trust.
· Even if an idea isn’t popular or feasible, thank the team members for their input. Remind them that one idea sparks more ideas.
2. Feeling indispensable. Now that you’ve gotten to the top, it’s easy to start feeling indispensable. However, avoid getting into that mode as much as possible. Remember you weren’t the first and you certainly won’t be the last person in your position!
· Remember how you got there in the first place.
· Pay attention to your performance metrics. What’s required for you to maintain your position?
3. Lack of communication. Keeping the lines of communication open and encouraging open communication are the best ways to lead effectively. All persons on your team need to hear from you.
· Regardless of whether the feedback is positive or negative, keep your team members engaged and informed.
· Schedule regular meetings with your team. Avoid having meetings only when there’s an issue at hand. Team members like to feel connected with what’s going on.
· Foster an environment where your team members feel comfortable approaching you. Allow them to feel like you want to hear from them.
4. Sidestepping recognition. Remember that your team is as strong as its weakest link. It’s extremely important to recognize the input of each team member. This is the best way to ensure commitment and dedication to you as their leader.
· Yes, you enjoy the recognition garnered from leading a successful team. But it’s absolutely important to share that recognition with the team members.
· Provide individual recognition for a job well done.
· Use a group forum to recognize the contributions of specific team members. This allows them to feel worthwhile and gain the respect of their peers.
5. Ignoring difficult responsibilities. Leadership isn’t going to be rosy all the time. There are difficulties that you may have to face from time to time. The worst thing you can do is shy away from the tough decisions and responsibilities. Put on a brave face and show why you were chosen to lead them in the first place.
· Do you need to reprimand someone? Avoid putting it off. Get right to it and remind the person of your expectations.
· You were put in that leadership role for a reason. Always keep that reason at the forefront of your mind. Live up to the expectations of others and do what’s expected.
If this is your first leadership role, you’ll realize it’s a work in progress. No two days are the same. And each experience requires a different approach. Avoid these leadership mistakes and adhere to the fixes. That way, you can adequately equip yourself to lead successfully.
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August 31, 2020
Are You Afraid of Success?

The idea that someone can be afraid of success sounds odd to many people. Fear of failure is easier for most people to comprehend, but a fear of success? It sounds preposterous.
After all, who wouldn’t want to be more successful? Perhaps you!
Fear of success is a common obstacle to consistent and lasting success. People are often masters of achieving 90% of a goal, only to throw it all away at the last moment.
Fear of success has multiple components and symptoms. Read on to see if fear of success is an obstacle for you.
The fear of success has more than one cause:
Fear of change. Humans are programmed to avoid change. This is true even if your life is in the pits. Why would this be? Because, even if you’re highly displeased with your life, you’re still surviving. Your brain is concerned about what might happen if your situation changes. As far as your brain is concerned, alive and miserable is better than possibly happy and dead.
Fear of greater responsibility. Success brings more responsibility. In many cases, you have to become more responsible to experience more success. When you’ve become successful, people expect more from you. Starting a business and experiencing success is great, but now you might have employees that rely on you. Building a real estate empire sounds great, but now you have tenants, debt, and complex taxes to deal with.
Fear of standing out. Some people love attention, but many do not. People notice when you’re successful, and many will dislike you for it. Jealousy and feelings of mediocrity can bring out the worst in others. There are people that would prefer to just blend into the background than stand in the spotlight. Perhaps you feel this way, too.
Those that fear success show several of the same symptoms:
Self-sabotage. Everyone has experienced that before. You’re doing well and making great progress. Then, it seems like the wheels just fall off. You make silly mistakes. You make poor choices. This is easy to see in others but can be challenging to identify in yourself.
Changing goals. You get close to achieving success and then suddenly decide to change your mind and do something else instead. If you keep changing direction, you’ll never make any real progress. Choose an appealing goal and stick with it.
Procrastination. A sudden lack of motivation is a common sign that you’re afraid of success. Procrastination is a primary killer of progress.
Fear of success can be managed. Try these techniques:
Determine the cause. What are you actually afraid of? Determine the cause of your fear, and you’ll have a chance to work around it. You can’t defeat the enemy you can’t see.
Notice how that fear changes your thoughts and behavior. What does that fear do to you? What are the symptoms of your fear of success? How are your thinking and behavior altered by this fear?
Face, rather than avoid, your fears. Avoiding your fear leads to failure. Develop a strategy for working around your fear. Become more resistant to fear. Give yourself a pep talk or enlist the help of a friend. Do whatever you need to do to continue making progress.
If you’re not sure why success seems to elude you, consider the possibility that you’re afraid of success. Do you have any of the symptoms? How successful do you think you’ve been to this point in your life? Are you underachieving?
Fear of success makes sense when you consider the source of that fear. However, what makes sense isn’t necessarily the most desired option. Overcome your fear of success and achieve the greatness you deserve.
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August 28, 2020
Leadership Skills: How to Deal With Dissent and Disobedience

Unless you’re a low-key despot, chances are that you don’t enjoy telling others what to do or reprimanding them. You probably don’t like being called out yourself and you might even question your right to tell anyone else what they’re doing wrong.
Kudos to you if you feel that way! You have what it takes to be a good leader!
It’s the power-mad despots that make for terrible leaders and who eventually tend to come unglued.
But while it’s not a good thing to take pleasure in enforcing your will, it’s also not useful to bury your head and pretend that everyone can just get along nicely. That’s not how the world works, unfortunately.
The truth of the matter is that power invites challenge. When you place yourself in a position of authority, others will be naturally encouraged to challenge that authority.
And that means that:
● Sometimes, you’re going to have to make difficult decisions.
● Sometimes, you’ll have to have difficult conversations.
● Sometimes, you’ll need to discipline your team.
How NOT to Handle Discipline
The worst thing you can do when it comes to disciplining your team members is to shout or to lose your cool.
This is a bad move for several reasons:
● It makes you look like you’ve lost control.
● It invites further challenge.
● It makes you seem easily manipulated by others.
The other key to remember is that being a boss or a leader does not mean that you have a right to shout or to reprimand. The more effective way to think about your relationship with your team is as a partnership. You are a part of that team and you have entered into an agreement.
They’ve agreed to follow your instruction as far as is reasonable and you’ve agreed to pay them.
You aren’t in charge of them, you don’t own them, and it’s not your place to try and punish them or make them feel small. You simply express that they are violating the terms of your agreement and that they should expect the due results.
Your job, then, is to remove emotion and any bias. Instead, create a simple procedure for dealing with failure or purposeful disruption. Express this at the start of your deal with your team members and then simply follow through as you have outlined.
Transformismo
The biggest reason not to shout at or embarrass your team is also the reason you can’t simply ignore the disruptive issues and hope they go away: both these actions can cause the situation to fester and become worse.
In other words, if someone is unhappy with your leadership, they may make their dissatisfaction known to others, and this can cause more of your team to become vocally unhappy.
Over time, this unhappiness can end up spreading through your whole team and being incredibly destructive.
Isolating the individual, meanwhile, only causes them to become more set in their opinions and more disruptive when they return.
So, what do you do with someone who is vocally critical and undermining your leadership?
One option is to use Mussolini’s technique, known as Transformismo. Transformismo is a method for turning a political opponent into an ally – and it works in work and parenting settings too.
Simply, it involves taking the dissenter or critic and then placing them in a position of power.
For example, is someone unhappy with how you’re managing the finances? Fine: give them a project to try and fix that side of your business.
By sharing responsibility, you can help to demonstrate the complexity of the situation and thereby silence a lot of their criticisms.
At the same time, this will mean working together closely (keep your enemies close!), and it will often help them to gain a new respect for what you do and a greater propensity for working together and being a team player.
Try it and see how it works for your team!
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August 24, 2020
How to Defuse Arguments Before Things Go Too Far

A proper argument can be highly productive. Unfortunately, not many arguments are done well. Most arguments fail to reach a resolution and lead to additional animosity.
Being cooped up with the same people day after day can lead to a greater number of arguments. If you’re going to argue, at least attempt to do it in a productive way.
Handling disagreements appropriately results in a happier and more stable relationship for both of you.
Arguments can be uncomfortable. It would be a shame to not receive any benefit from the experience.
Think back to some of your arguments. Was your relationship better or worse afterward? This is really the only measurement that matters. Are your relationships helped or harmed by your arguments?
Make the most of your arguments with these techniques:
Keep the argument in the present. If your mom is being a pain in the neck, it’s not helpful to point out how obnoxious your partner’s mother was last Christmas. Keep the argument grounded in the present.
Calmness is better than animosity. Your arguments will be more productive if you’re both feeling calm and reasonable. Anger leads to poor judgment. Research has shown this to be true. People are much less logical and reasonable when experiencing a strong emotion. You’ll accomplish more if you have your wits about you.
Focus on finding a solution. Finding a solution is much more likely if you’re both actually trying to find a solution. Finding a solution is less likely if you’re focused on trying to inflict damage on your partner. If you’re trying to get even, your argument isn’t going to turn out well.
Avoid insults. Insults are never productive. You won’t get more out of a person by making them feel bad. Insulting someone isn’t a strategy for finding a solution. You might not be able to make the other person feel good during an argument, but it’s not impossible.
Have a cooling-off period. If tensions are running high, a temporary break might be in order. Schedule your argument for a different time, perhaps even a different day. The issue will still be there, but you’ll both be in a better position to find a resolution.
Be clear on the issue at hand. It’s not unusual for one party in an argument to not completely understand the other party. Ensure that you’re both arguing about the same thing. If you have different objectives, you’ll never find the middle ground.
Be willing to listen. You can’t just speak. You have to listen, too. You never learn anything by speaking, but you can learn something when you listen. Be fair and respectful when you’re arguing and give each person their turn to talk. When it’s not your turn to talk, listen carefully to what the other person has to say, rather than spending that time planning what you’ll say next.
Consider writing things down. Sometimes, it can be easier to share your thoughts in writing rather than verbally. Some people are more comfortable writing a letter than having a confrontation face to face. Ask your partner if this might be a better option for the two of you.
An argument can be a great opportunity to clear the air, move past a challenge in your relationship, or avoid future disagreements.
Arguing effectively is a skill that requires knowledge and practice. An argument is successful if both parties feel satisfied at the end, and the likelihood of having the same argument in the future is minimized. If you repeatedly have the same arguments, you’re not arguing effectively.
Arguments are more likely to occur under the present health, financial, and economic circumstances. Avoid weakening your relationship by arguing ineffectively. Make the most of every disagreement and create more stability in your relationship.
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August 21, 2020
Position Yourself as a Leader in 20 Minutes or Less

Positioning yourself as a leader will make your work more meaningful and advance your career. You can gain influence based on your title, or on the knowledge and skills you already possess.
While it could take years to climb the ladder up into senior management, tapping into your personal strengths is something you can start doing right now. Learn how to use your current assets to build up your clout in the workplace.
Using Your Knowledge to Position Yourself as a Leader
1. Read daily. Pick up books about business advice or any topic that interests you. The more you read, the better prepared you’ll be to contribute to any discussion. You’ll sound like a leader whether you’re engaging in small talk or critiquing a new logo.
2. Sign up for training. Take advantage of programs your employer offers. Brush up on your high school Spanish or become proficient with a new software package.
3. Browse during breaks. Those brief intervals you spend on hold or pausing between meetings can be put to good use. Break out your phone and search for industry news. You’ll stand out if you’re the first one to notice a major lawsuit or merger.
4. Take a course. Many adults juggle full-time jobs while going back to school. Schedule an appointment at your local university to see what you need to complete your degree.
5. Consult an expert. Contact others in your network who would be willing to share their wisdom. Interview a colleague who has published a new book and promote her work on your personal blog. You’ll both benefit from increased information and publicity.
6. Shadow a star employee. If imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, a high performer may be pleased to show you the ropes. Let them know that you admire their style. Offer to assist them with specific tasks so you can learn from their example.
Using Your Skills to Position Yourself as a Leader
1. Take responsibility. Prove that you can be trusted to live up to your obligations. Develop a reputation for completing assignments and meeting deadlines.
2. Document your accomplishments. Make it a habit to write down your ideas and achievements. Looking over your victories will boost your confidence. Even the missteps will suggest adjustments you can make to do better next time.
3. Express enthusiasm. Attitude is an important part of leadership. Speak kindly to your coworkers and care about their welfare. Find gratification in your work and how it serves the community.
4. Take the initiative. Be willing to go the extra mile. Volunteer for tasks that fall outside of your job description even if they’re less than glamorous. Pitch in when the sales team needs a hand entering quarterly data.
5. Share feedback. Thank people for commenting on your performance and recommending steps you can take to further your professional growth. Offer constructive and tactful criticism that enables others to do the same.
6. Give generously. Above all, let your colleagues know that they can count on you when they need your time and expertise. Strive to be a valuable team member. Keep an eye out for anyone who’s struggling so you can create mutually beneficial relationships.
Transform yourself into the kind of leader other employees will want to follow. Your knowledge and skills are valuable resources that can help you to develop your talents and inspire others.
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August 17, 2020
14 Tips to Help You Give Feedback to Your Boss

Giving feedback to your boss can be scary. You may be concerned about damaging your relationship or even losing your job. On the other hand, many bosses will appreciate your input, especially if you have sincere intentions and skillful communications.
An emotionally intelligent manager knows they need feedback from their team in order to do their job. They will also be sensitive to the power imbalance in these relationships.
How can you tell if your boss will be receptive to your comments? Try these tips for offering upward feedback.
Preparing to Give Feedback to Your Boss:
Consult your colleagues. Ask your coworkers about their relevant experiences. They may have advice on how to approach your boss and hold a productive discussion.
Understand your workplace culture. Does your company have a strict hierarchy, or does it provide ample opportunities for dialogue between employees at different job levels? You may be able to tell whether upward feedback is likely to be appreciated.
Address the context. Timing is important. If you just received an unflattering performance review or you’re hearing rumors about layoffs, your boss might feel a little defensive. Wait for things to calm down before you speak up.
Examine your intentions. Your feedback is more likely to succeed if you’re trying to be helpful. Think about how you can be of service to your employer rather than advancing your own views.
Set priorities. You’ll usually make more progress if you tighten your agenda. Pick one item at a time to discuss it with your boss.
Choose safe subjects. Maybe certain topics are off-limits with your boss. Maybe you lack the access or expertise to evaluate some activities. Stick to areas where you can make a positive difference.
Trust your instincts. You may decide that the risks of confronting your boss outweigh the potential benefits. Sometimes it’s sensible to remain silent.
Delivering Feedback to Your Boss:
Respect privacy. Would you rather receive criticism behind closed doors or in the middle of a staff meeting? Your boss feels the same way, so schedule a private session for speaking your mind.
Meet face to face. Email is quicker, but in-person communications are safer for discussing sensitive subjects. You’ll be able to gauge how your boss is reacting in case you need to clarify any misunderstandings or reframe your message.
Act promptly. Give feedback as soon as possible so your boss can consider it while the situation is fresh in their mind and make any necessary changes. A direct approach also helps to keep grievances from growing.
Be specific. Use precise language and concrete examples. It will make it easier for your boss to understand their conduct and impact.
Stick to facts. Feedback needs to be based on observations and evidence rather than opinions and interpretations. Let your boss know that you need more than 10 minutes’ notice to prepare a status report rather than concluding that they’re inconsiderate or unreasonable.
Propose solutions. Your boss may have their own ideas about what to do or they may be happy to collaborate. Be ready to suggest a reasonable solution – ideally, something you could do to help remedy the situation.
Stay calm. Even if you’ve done your homework and your boss is receptive, you might still feel nervous. Make your conversation less stressful by reminding yourself of what you like about them and taking a few deep breaths. You may also want to rehearse with a trusted friend.
If your boss is wise enough to value other perspectives, offering upward feedback may benefit you both. You’ll be giving your boss helpful information and strengthening your working relationship.
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August 14, 2020
Top 10 Critical Competencies of Great Leaders

Great leaders share many common traits. Though criteria for leadership in the workplace can vary from company to company, the majority of effective leaders exemplify certain skills. By focusing on developing these same skills, you can take your leadership abilities to the next level.
Develop the important traits necessary to become a great leader:
1. Self-motivated. As a leader, it’s important to be able to motivate yourself to take action to move forward toward your goals – whether they’re personal or team goals. Leaders are driven to get things done and they lead their team to do the same.
2. The ability to delegate. You can’t do it all yourself. The most effective leaders surround themselves with skilled people, define their responsibilities, and then get out of the way. A single person is quite limited, but many hands can get a lot done. Learn how to share your workload.
3. Communicate effectively. You might have a clear picture in your mind of what you’d like to see happen. Unfortunately, no one can read your mind. A leader is responsible for sharing his vision and making his desires known.
· People can give you what you want when you can communicate clearly what needs to be done.
· Provide status updates and keep everyone on the same page. Employees lose motivation when they don’t understand the current situation fully.
4. Develop others. Being a leader isn’t just about utilizing others to reach your goals. It’s developing those around you. From a more selfish perspective, the more skilled your employees, the more they can assist you and the company.
· Share your expertise and help everyone around you to grow.
5. Be committed. You can’t expect greater commitment than you’re willing to provide. A leader sets the ceiling. Everyone else settles in somewhere below that point. Set the ceiling high and show them what true commitment looks like.
6. Inspire others. A great leader knows how to inspire others to do their best work. It’s not always easy to inspire those content to simply show up each day and collect a paycheck, but it’s possible. Show your motivation and commitment.
· Even if you’re only able to inspire a few people to do their best, it will make a positive difference.
7. Have a clear focus. If you don’t know what you want, you won’t get it. Leaders are clear on their vision and readily share it with others. A clear vision serves as a roadmap. Employees can easily ask themselves if their actions are contributing to the attainment of your vision. Know your focus and communicate it effectively.
8. Show respect. Strive to treat everyone fairly and avoid playing favorites. Everyone is worthy of a basic level of respect. Ensure that you’re giving it.
9. Confidence. It’s natural to be drawn to others with confidence. You are viewed as more capable and trustworthy when your confidence level is high. Be comfortable with your skills and your plan.
· A lack of self-confidence will limit the ability of others to trust your vision and judgment.
10. Decisiveness. Leaders make tough decisions fearlessly and take responsibility for the outcome. It’s easy to make quick decisions when you’re clear on your values and those of the company. If you can’t make up your mind, your leadership skills will be called into question.
· Practice by making small decisions quickly and following through on them. It gets easier with practice. You’ll be surprised by how much more you accomplish when you’re able to make a clear decision.
Leaders are necessary for any organization. Great leaders share common characteristics that you can develop in yourself. Even if you don’t feel you currently possess these qualities, you can grow your capacity to be an effective leader.
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August 10, 2020
3 Ways To Look After Your Mental Health When Working From Home

If you’re stuck working from home, unable to see your work colleagues from day to day, you may find yourself struggling with your mental health.
This is understandable, as often just seeing others can brighten your day. Very few want to be stuck at home all day, let alone have to work from home every day. Of course, there are exceptions to this rule.
Consider these ways to look after your mental health when working from home.
1. Try to Get into a Routine
It can be a challenge and feel isolating to work from home. Often, you may find your attention wandering, or you may be missing your work colleagues.
A routine can help you focus on your tasks.
Use these strategies:
● Have a space for work that is free of any distractions.
● Set a routine to get up and get started, take regular breaks including lunch, and finish work at a reasonable time.
● Avoid working in your pajamas.
● Set clear tasks for the day and prioritize them. Do the most important tasks first.
● When you finish work, clean up your workspace as you would in an office.
● If you’re homeschooling your children, it may be a good idea to let your superiors know. You’ll want to set up a routine of when you can work and when you can give your children the attention they need too.
2. Keep In Touch With Colleagues
To avoid becoming isolated while working from home, keep in touch with colleagues, both in a formal fashion and a more social one.
Try these techniques:
● Discuss with your colleagues when it is best to contact you and try to remain available during these times.
● Use video calling software for formal discussions.
● Follow up any video calls with a quick note to ensure that everyone is on the same page regarding the actions that need to be taken.
● You can also use video calling for more informal chats or use other messenger services if it is more appropriate.
● Check in with the rest of the team at the end of the workday to get updates. These updates might be work-related, or you might use this time for personal updates.
Try to keep your work and social life separate. When working from home, it is easy for your work and social life to merge.
Not all of your colleagues will appreciate you sharing everything with them, so respect their boundaries, just as you expect them to respect yours.
3. Use Any Support Available
Working from home can be challenging, so if there is support available, make the most of it:
● Many employers will have support available for its employees, with dedicated apps and websites offering support.
● If you are currently struggling with a physical or mental health condition, your employer may be able to make reasonable adjustments to your work schedule, offer additional support from managers or other colleagues, and to provide equipment if needed.
● Look at the self-care techniques you’ve used in the past that have worked for you. You will have to be flexible sometimes, especially if you are stuck at home. For example, if you would usually go to the gym to relieve your issues, you could try working out from home using an online class.
Working from home is not for everyone. Some people will thrive in that environment while others will struggle. Keep these tips in mind, especially if you’re struggling. They can help you remain a productive worker while you’re stuck at home.
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August 5, 2020
The Power In The Shift
How can we live with grace – and not guilt – during this challenging time?

It was a privilege to speak with Kate McKay recently about the pandemic, and what men are experiencing in terms of their identities in times of crisis like this. We discussed how difficult it is for men to stay connected with each other. How are we handling our emotions?
It was a fantastic opportunity to talk about some of the ideas from my recent book LEAD WITH NO FEAR.
We went on to talk about the idea of legacy, how to lift others up along the way – even through grief and times where we are having to reinvent ourselves to survive – and thrive!
Listen to our conversation for her Survive to Thrive Podcast!

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August 3, 2020
The Secret to Pursuing Your Own Vision of Career Success

Having a rewarding career depends upon pursuing your own vision of professional success. Otherwise, you’re likely to spend your days trying to live up to the expectations of others or mindlessly drifting from one job to the next.
Of course, success itself means different things to different people. For some, it’s a matter of earning more money and climbing the corporate ladder. For others, it’s more about stretching their skills and contributing to society.
Make your work life more satisfying and build accomplishments that you can be proud of. Use this checklist to plan your future and put your plans into action.
Planning for Career Success:
Identify your strengths. Think about your talents and how you can apply them. Do you like working with numbers or do you have a passion for design? Browse online for aptitude tests that will suggest careers that suit your personality.
Set specific goals. Create objectives that will motivate you and allow you to evaluate your progress. Give yourself realistic short- and long-term targets that are challenging but feasible.
Address obstacles. You may find that you need some additional resources to complete your goals. Figure out what’s holding you back and how you’ll overcome it.
Consider your brand. What makes you unique? Understanding your personal brand will help you to market yourself. You’ll know what you stand for and the audience that you’re trying to reach.
Think ahead. Career planning is an ongoing process that requires more than keeping your resume updated. Review your job status regularly to decide if it’s time to make a change.
Write it down. Put your career plan down on paper. You’ll be more likely to keep your strategy in mind instead of letting it get buried under daily events.
Implementing Your Career Plan:
Manage your time. Block out space in your calendar for activities essential to your goals. You may need to cut down on distractions like watching TV or shopping online.
Maximize your network. Build a strong network where you can share practical and moral support. Ask others for help when you need it. Be generous with sharing information and referrals.
Learn from others. Benefit from the experience of others. Find a mentor or shadow a star employee at your company.
Build your qualifications. Seek opportunities for education and training. Take certification courses online and check out the adult education catalog at your nearest community college.
Increase your visibility. Promote yourself by volunteering for committees at the local chapter of your professional association. Write articles for your company website or publish your own industry blog.
Negotiate compensation. Research current salary data when you’re exploring a new line of work or expecting a job offer. Talk with your employer about fringe benefits that are important to you, such as childcare or flexible hours.
Take risks. If you want to excel at work, you’ll need to move beyond your comfort zone. Focus on gradual growth you can sustain, and the small victories will add up. Deliver a presentation at a staff meeting to prepare for addressing the crowd at your annual convention.
Stay positive. Your professional career may last 50 years or more, so a cheerful attitude will help you to persevere. Look on the bright side of difficult situations and learn how to laugh at yourself.
Create a career that enables you to do what you love and achieve balance in your personal and professional life. Start planning today so you can make decisions based on your values and goals.
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