Tabassum Mosleh's Blog

Are bad things good for me?

Are the bad things which happen in our lives good for us?

I’ve finally found the answer to this question, in the book Don’t Be Sad by ‘Aaidh ibn Abdullah al-Qarni. He says, “Everything that is decreed for the Muslim is best for him” (pg 139). And it’s not just his own statement; on further investigation (sounds so smug, like Sherlock Holmes), I found that it’s supported by a hadith in Musnad Ahmad:

“I am amazed by the believer. Verily, Allah does not decree anything for the believer except what is good for him.” (Daily Hadith Online)

Incredible, isn’t it?

All those messes we made in our lives, all those sad things that we’ve had to endure – all of it was good for us. Stop a moment and let that idea sink in. That job

That job interview you bungled? Yeah, it was good for you.

That horrible mess your kid made in the kitchen while you were washing clothes? That’s right, it was good for you.

That depressive episode when you would lie in bed all day, mentally paralysed? Right on!

Actually, it works the other way round too. When Allah wants good for you, He puts you through trials. (Bukhari)

Therefore, as long as you’re a believer till you die, hold on to this comfort when things go wrong. It will give you strength to maintain your spiritual balance in sha Allah.

 

Duas of Tawakkul

These duas are actually statements of tawakkul, rather than supplications; of our surrendering all control of events to Allah (swt).

From Hadiths:

Dua said when going out of the house:

بِسْمِ اللَّهِ تَوَكَّلْتُ عَلَى اللَّهِ لاَ حَوْلَ وَلاَ قُوَّةَ إِلاَّ بِاللَّهِ

I begin with the Name of Allah; I trust in Allah; there is no altering of conditions but by the Power of Allah. (Abu Dawud, Tirmidhi and Nasai)

اللَّهُمَّ لَكَ أَسْلَمْتُ وَبِكَ آمَنْتُ وَعَلَيْكَ تَوَكَّلْتُ وَإِلَيْكَ أَنَبْتُ وَبِكَ خَاصَمْتُ اللَّهُمَّ إِنِّي أَعُوذُ بِعِزَّتِكَ لاَ إِلَهَ إِلاَّ أَنْتَ أَنْ تُضِلَّنِي أَنْتَ الْحَىُّ الَّذِي لاَ يَمُوتُ وَالْجِنُّ وَالإِنْسُ يَمُوتُونَ

O Allah, it is to You that I surrender myself. I affirm my faith in You and repose my trust in You and turn to You in repentance and with Your help fought my adversaries. O Allah, I seek refuge in You with Your Power; there is no god but You, lest You leadest me astray. You are ever-living that dies not, while the Jinn and mankind die.  (Muslim)

From the Quran:

حَسْبِيَ اللَّهُ لَا إِلَٰهَ إِلَّا هُوَ ۖ عَلَيْهِ تَوَكَّلْتُ ۖ وَهُوَ رَبُّ الْعَرْشِ الْعَظِيمِ

“Sufficient for me is Allah ; there is no deity except Him. On Him I have relied, and He is the Lord of the Great Throne.” (9:129)

هُوَ رَبِّي لَا إِلَٰهَ إِلَّا هُوَ عَلَيْهِ تَوَكَّلْتُ وَإِلَيْهِ مَتَابِ

“He is my Lord; there is no deity except Him. Upon Him I rely, and to Him is my return.” (13:30)

 

The Process of Falling into Hypocrisy

Picture the following scene. It’s the Day of Resurrection. All judgment has been done. The disbelievers have been thrown into hell and the remaining people flock towards Paradise. But all is pitch black, and the only light available is that coming from people’s heart and right hand. The believers’ lights are illuminating their way for them, but these lights are not all of the same brightness. Some are so intense that they light up miles ahead. Others are so dim that they only show the next step. As they move along, it is announced, “Your good tidings today are [of] gardens beneath which rivers flow, wherein you will abide eternally.” (57:12)

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But there are some who were known to be Muslims but now they realise that they don’t have any light at all. These are the hypocrites. They are scared to move as they can’t see the way. But they can see the believers getting further and further ahead, and they panic. “Wait for us,” they call out. “Let us get some light from you!”

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It is said to them sarcastically, “Go back to the earth which you were so immersed in. Go get some light from there if you can.”

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Then a wall will be thrown in front of them, separating them from the believers.  They will call out to the other side of the wall, “Weren’t we with you in the life before?”

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They indeed were. People would see them pray, fast, gift charity and even perform Hajj and Umrah in the earthly life. And yet they’re blocked from Paradise? Why?

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This vivid, scary scene is painted in Surah al-Hadid. And do you know what’s scarier? The people on the wrong side of the wall could be you and me.

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The true believers answer the last question by outlining the process of falling into hypocrisy.

“Yes, but you afflicted yourselves and awaited and doubted, and wishful thinking deluded you, until there came the command of Allah. And the Deceiver [Shaytan] deceived you concerning Allah.”  (57:14)

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Let us look at the steps that can slowly lead a Muslim to this terrible fate, and learn how to save ourselves from being one of them.

Steps towards Hypocrisy:
We afflict ourselves.

What does it mean to afflict oneself? Ustadh Nouman Ali Khan describes it as putting oneself into questionable company. We hang out with corrupt people, expose ourselves to sinful environments, thinking, “My willpower is strong, I won’t fall into their ways.”

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We procrastinate

Step one leads us into more and more questionable circumstances, until we fall into sin. But we delay repentance. Since we’ve already given Shaytan an entry into our hearts, he beautifies this sin for us more and more. It gives us so much pleasure that we don’t want to give it up just yet. And by the time we realise we’re stuck in a real mess, the sin has become a habit. Finally, one day we tell ourselves, “What’s the point of changing now?”

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None of us feels comfortable having a sullied self-image, and this discomfort forces us to either leave off the habit or, if that seems too difficult, rationalise our behaviour in one of two ways:

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1. We start having doubts and questioning our beliefs: Why is Islam so hard to follow? Is it worth it? Why is there hellfire? Why is God so angry and punishing? Is all this really true?

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2. False hopes deceive us. We try to find excuses for doing the sinful habit: It’s only a minor sin. It’s not like I’m a murderer! God is Merciful, He’ll not punish me. I’ve got my whole life to set things right. Now it’s time for fun.

Solution to the problem

The first stronghold that will pull us out of this mess is hope. Never, never ever give up till the day you die. No matter which stage of hypocrisy we’re at, it’s always possible to stop and turn back.

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Think about it this way. Allah didn’t portray this scene so vividly to give us a scare and leave it at that. He did it to give us hope; that day hasn’t come yet, and there’s still time to change. He says in the next ayah that He gives life to dead earth, that is, by sending rain and making it fertile for vegetation. If Allah can revive the dead earth, He can also revive our dead hearts.

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He also asks us a question, and in it lies the solution to this problem:

“Has the time not come for those who have believed that their hearts should become humbly submissive at the remembrance of Allah and what has come down of the truth?”

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Allah sends down rain to revive the dead earth, and He sent down the Quran to revive dead hearts. The more Shaytan whispers doubts into our ears, the more we should read the Quran to counteract those doubts. Quran erases all doubts and leaves our hearts clean for reform to happen. We no longer try to deceive ourselves with false beliefs and can see the right way clearly. Our goals change from this temporary world to the eternity of the hereafter. Then it becomes easy for us to give up things which Allah dislikes, and to embrace what He likes.

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And in the same ayah Allah gives us a warning:

“And let them not be like those who were given the Scripture before, and a long period passed over them, so their hearts hardened; and many of them are defiantly disobedient.” (57:16)

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Just like the absence of rain hardens the earth to the point of causing a famine, the absence of Quran hardens our hearts, to the point of spiritual famine.

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So connect with the Quran in every way you can. Recite it, listen to it, learn it, go deep into its message, ponder on it, and, most importantly, implement it in your life.

 

Watch: Nouman Ali Khan: How We Lost Our Eeman

This article was first published in Ibana: http://www.ibanaway.com/the-process-of-falling-into-hypocrisy/

Unlock Your Superpower

When I was small I used to watch Cartoon Network way too much, fascinated by the different super-characters, each with a unique superpower. One of them, for example, could shoot laser beams with his eyes, another could read minds, and yet another could bring a storm.

The powers, of course, were fictional, but the concept can be applied to real life. And our superpowers are no less cool than laser-eyes.

What’s a Superpower?

Allah the Most Wise said,

“It is We who have apportioned among them their livelihood in the life of this world and have raised some of them above others in degrees that they may make use of one another for service.” (43:32)

Imagine our ummah to be a jigsaw puzzle-board. Each of us is a piece of that puzzle. A super-homemaker takes care of her husband, a wonderful Qari, so that he can teach Quran to a rich businessman, who in turn finances an international dawah organization, which employs speakers, web designers, artists, janitors and accountants. Each of these people are a piece of that big puzzle, and we’re not all the same size and shape.

When we don’t use our superpowers, we lose productivity. We lose shape, and the place in the puzzle-board we were supposed to fill in doesn’t fit us anymore. So either the piece breaks or it leaves gaping holes in the board.  As a result, we are 99% a mass of mediocre individuals, and we make a mediocre ummah.

The Prophet ﷺ said the same using a different metaphor:

“People are just like camels, out of one hundred, one can hardly find a single camel suitable to ride.” (Bukhari and Muslim)

The one camel that perfectly fits you is your superpower.

The Difference between Aspirations and Flair

An aspiration is an ambition, a will to succeed in life. A flair is a natural talent which, if nurtured, automatically leads to success in life.

An aspiration could be driven by several different reasons. In a hypothetical batch of engineering students, for example, one student enrolled because his parents wanted him to, another wants to be rich, and a third student has followed his older brother’s model.

But the fourth student is simply interested in the subject. From childhood he liked to play with broken radios and electric toys – taking out the tiny bulbs and motors and trying to work them with a battery. Now I ask you, which of these four students is the most likely to go on to become a great inventor, probably etching his name in history?

Recognize Your Flair

Let me tell you my own story. From childhood, I had a fine-tuned sense of reading people’s emotions. As I grew up, I found myself magnetically attracted to psychology – newspaper articles, self-help and psychology books etc. But it took me 24 years and a degree in engineering to understand that my flair is understanding people, not machines.

You don’t need fishing nets to search for your flair. Like me, you already know what your flair is – you just need to understand yourself.

Turn your flair into aspiration

It’s not enough to recognize your flair, you also need to put it in use. And how you use it is a test from Allah:

“And it is He who … has raised some of you above others in degrees [of rank] that He may try you through what He has given you.” (6:165)

Abu Bakr (ra), the first Caliph of our ummah, knew how to utilize flairs. He gave the overall command of the Muslim armies to Khalid ibn al-Walid, whom the Prophet had named the Sword of Allah. On the other hand, He appointed ‘Umar as his advisor in state-level decisions, whom we call al-Faruq (the distinguisher between right and wrong). Their titles speak of their flairs.

Hone Your Flair

Khalid ibn al-Walid (ra) was a great warrior, but he didn’t just pop-out one day a fully-fledged fighter. He honed his talent with his sweat and blood, fine-tuning the arts of battle, and constantly improving and growing as a military commander.

It takes great effort and perseverance to pursue your aspiration. But you put in less effort, enjoy the process more and earn better and quicker results if your aspiration and flair are one and the same. Once your flair is sufficiently developed, it becomes a superpower.

Having a superpower makes us super-productive individuals, so that we make a super-productive ummah.

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 First published in Ibana: http://www.ibanaway.com/unlock-your-superpower/ 

The Paradox of Arrogance and Inferiority

“Pinch him!” Anika whispered furiously to Umar.

They were standing beside the cradle of Umar’s newborn sister. He had hated her from the moment mummy had told her that she was going to get “a sweet sister for you”. And now that she’s arrived, everybody was making such a fuss over her! No one loves me anymore, thought Umar, and that too for a tiny thing like her! Umar was seriously considering following Anika’s order…

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Have you come across situations like this? I have, and despite our efforts to laugh it off as childish jealousy, it gives a deep insight into the human nature. Although it looks cute on children, this same emotion can cause havocs in adult life – life in this world and especially in the Hereafter.

The root of jealousy is a sense of inferiority inside us – we feel inadequate, unworthy, outsmarted. We feel that we’re too insignificant to get love and priority, that there are better people competing with us and snatching away our bread and butter.

This sense of inferiority is a precursor to many of the common psychological problems – anxiety, depression, bulimia, excessive anger, schizophrenia, and surprisingly, narcissism (Adler 1969).

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“I’m better than her!” cried Umar. He had been caught red-handed trying to pinch the baby.

“I am much taller!” 

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Feeling insecure is very painful and suffocating. And therefore one clutches for whatever lifeboat one can find. For some people, that lifeboat is arrogance. It’s a façade that protects the person from his own inadequacy. And this seed of arrogance was planted at the very beginning of human history.

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When Allah Ta’ala fashioned Adam (alayhi salam) from clay, He left him like that for a while. Iblis would sneak up to the clay form and go round and round scrutinising it.

“When Allah fashioned Adam in Paradise, He left him as He liked him to leave. Then Iblis roamed round him to see what actually that was and when he found him hollow from within, he recognised that he had been created with a disposition that he would not have control over himself.” (Sahih Muslim 2611)

He was extremely jealous of this new creation who might possibly snatch his high status as a worshipper of Allah Ta’ala. And he tried to find faults in Adam (alayhi salam). With a mind warped with evil feelings, he scoffed at the fact that Adam was “hollow from within.” And soon he convinced himself that he was better.

“I am better than him!”

After completing the creation of Adam (alayhi salam), Allah Ta’ala asked the angels to prostrate to him. Everyone did as told, except Iblis. Allah asked him, “What prevented you from prostrating when I commanded you?” (7:12)

“I am better than him. You created me from fire and created him from clay.” (ibid.)

Look at his warped logic. Who says fire is better than clay?

And for this clear proof of arrogance, Shaytan got really humiliated. He was stripped of his high rank and expelled from Paradise.

Allah Ta’ala mentioned the story of Iblis in several places in the Quran. Why? Because Shaytan tries to make us arrogant, lose our rank with Allah and Paradise – just like him. And because it’s very important for us not to make the same mistake.

This is my hypothesis – The root cause of arrogance is inferiority complex, and so if we get rid of the latter, we’ll be cured of the former automatically.

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“I am better than her!” cried Umar.

His mother started to laugh. She hugged her first-born and told him how much she loved him. After a few days, Umar wasn’t allowing anyone come near his sister, crying, “She’s MY sister!”

 

First published in Ibana: www.ibanaway.com/the-paradox-of-arrogance-and-inferiority/

3 Duas for Seeking Refuge from Harming Others

When it comes to committing sins, major or minor, each of our interactions with other people is a minefield. One can never be too cautious. But does that mean that we forsake the world and go live in a lonely mountain cave? Of course not! The Prophet (sa) is reported to have said:

Indeed when the Muslim mixes with the people and he is patient with their harm, he is better than the Muslim who does not mix with the people and is not patient with their harm. (Tirmidhi 2507)

So here are a few relevant duas from the legacy of our Prophet Muhammad (sa):

1.

اللّهُـمَّ عالِـمَ الغَـيْبِ وَالشّـهادَةِ فاطِـرَ السّماواتِ وَالأرْضِ رَبَّ كـلِّ شَـيءٍ وَمَليـكَه ، أَشْهَـدُ أَنْ لا إِلـهَ إِلاّ أَنْت ، أَعـوذُ بِكَ مِن شَـرِّ نَفْسـي وَمِن شَـرِّ الشَّيْـطانِ وَشِـرْكِه ، وَأَنْ أَقْتَـرِفَ عَلـى نَفْسـي سوءاً أَوْ أَجُـرَّهُ إِلـى مُسْـلِم

O Allah, Knower of the unseen and the evident, Maker of the heavens and the earth, Lord of everything and its Master, I bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but You. I seek refuge in You from the evil of my soul and from the evil of Satan and his helpers. (I seek refuge in You) from bringing evil upon my soul and from harming any Muslim.

(Abu Dawud. Q.i. Fortress of the Muslim, Sa’id bin Wahf Al-Qahtani; Darussalam.)

2.

اللَّهُمَّ إِنِّي أَعُوذُ بِكَ أَنْ أَضِلَّ أَوْ أُضَلَّ أَوْ أَزِلَّ أَوْ أُزَلَّ أَوْ أَظْلِمَ أَوْ أُظْلَمَ أَوْ أَجْهَلَ أَوْ يُجْهَلَ عَلَىَّ

O Allah! I seek refuge in Thee lest I stray or be led astray, or slip or made to slip, or cause injustice, or suffer injustice, or do wrong, or have wrong done to me.

(Abu Dawūd: 5094. Graded saḥīḥ by al-Albānī)

3.

اللَّهُمَّ إِنِّي أَعُوذُ بِكَ مِنَ الْفَقْرِ وَالْقِلَّةِ وَالذِّلَّةِ وَأَعُوذُ بِكَ مِنْ أَنْ أَظْلِمَ أَوْ أُظْلَمَ

O Allah, I seek refuge in Thee from poverty”, lack and abasement, and I seek refuge in Thee lest I cause or suffer wrong. (Abu Dawūd: 1544. Graded

(Abu Dawūd: 1544. Graded saḥīḥ by al-Albānī)

Some Great Ebooks (Free License/Public Domain)

Focus, by Leo Babauta