Constance Daley's Blog - Posts Tagged "spicing-it-up"
New Cow
I have a male friend, and I won't name him here because I don't want women breaking down his door to hang him, who believes very strongly in his theory of needing new cow. How it works is like this: he believes that no matter what, sex with any one partner grows old and boring, and at that point you have to move on to someone new. Being an unrepentant male chauvinist pig, he refers to the woman he moves onto as new cow. He compares it to eating at the same fast food joint daily for the rest of your life.
As obviously wrong as his theory is, there is tiniest kernel of truth at its center. Over time, sex with any one partner can tend towards growing old and boring. That is why I'm a strong believer in spicing it up, but maintaining the sweet vanilla center. I think most couples (if not all couples) would benefit from trying new things in the bedroom, and incorporating some of those things into their normal sex life. But I also think that it's important to not always incorporate those things. So, for example, sometimes it's great to use a vibrator while having sex, but I don't think you want to use it every time. That's just as stifling as having basic vanilla sex every time, and it is just as likely to get old and overly familiar. Change things up. There is no magic panacea to sex, it takes time, energy, and imagination to do it right. Don't neglect any of those things.
This is also why I encourage patience when it comes to your sex life. When things are going great, when things are really hot and heavy, it's easy to blow through scenarios and fetishes on a nightly basis. There's nothing particularly wrong with that, but remember that once you've tried something the first time, you can never try it for the first time again. Be just a little frugal with first times, spread them out and allow yourself to enjoy them. And don't mix and match them too much. If you're trying out being tied up for the first time, I would recommend avoiding piling on trying nipple clamps, or flogging, or anything else at the same time. The friend I mentioned earlier always races through each relationship the same way, treating it as a conquest instead of an exploration, and then finds that once he has conquered he's not satisfied.
Take your time, and you may find that you enjoy "same cow."
As obviously wrong as his theory is, there is tiniest kernel of truth at its center. Over time, sex with any one partner can tend towards growing old and boring. That is why I'm a strong believer in spicing it up, but maintaining the sweet vanilla center. I think most couples (if not all couples) would benefit from trying new things in the bedroom, and incorporating some of those things into their normal sex life. But I also think that it's important to not always incorporate those things. So, for example, sometimes it's great to use a vibrator while having sex, but I don't think you want to use it every time. That's just as stifling as having basic vanilla sex every time, and it is just as likely to get old and overly familiar. Change things up. There is no magic panacea to sex, it takes time, energy, and imagination to do it right. Don't neglect any of those things.
This is also why I encourage patience when it comes to your sex life. When things are going great, when things are really hot and heavy, it's easy to blow through scenarios and fetishes on a nightly basis. There's nothing particularly wrong with that, but remember that once you've tried something the first time, you can never try it for the first time again. Be just a little frugal with first times, spread them out and allow yourself to enjoy them. And don't mix and match them too much. If you're trying out being tied up for the first time, I would recommend avoiding piling on trying nipple clamps, or flogging, or anything else at the same time. The friend I mentioned earlier always races through each relationship the same way, treating it as a conquest instead of an exploration, and then finds that once he has conquered he's not satisfied.
Take your time, and you may find that you enjoy "same cow."
