Constance Daley's Blog - Posts Tagged "first-anal"
Actually, a Picture Isn't Always Worth a Thousand Words (Part II)
I recommend you read the first part of this post if you haven't, as it sets out the basic ideas of what I'm going to be addressing here.
I've got my hands on a few stories my publisher recently released that deal with a subject that you would think would be very easy for porn to do. The stories are focused on a woman's first time trying anal sex (which I admit is a subject I don't exactly shy away from), but they are written from the man's point of view. I've had a number of discussion with friends and a few fellow writers about whether these will sell.
These discussions center around two things, whether or not men read erotica, and whether or not these stories might appeal to women. I'll deal with the second one later, but today I want to talk about the first, the question of whether or not men read erotica (keep an eye out for a later post dealing with the second question, hopefully coming soon).
The central reason many people believe men don't read erotica is because men are visual, and men have porn, so they don't need erotica. I think this idea is fundamentally flawed for many of the same reasons I think some fetishes lend themselves to words over pictures. To some extent, allowing the mind to do both the casting and the acting makes for a higher quality production. This is in part because porn isn't known for its acting, but partially because unlike most movies, porn isn't about a well written script, a well structured plot, and well realized characters. It's about sex. The problem is that even for many men, sex isn't just sex. Sex is fantasy.
We're going to go back to the stories I mentioned earlier, and talk about the differences between what the stories can do and what the films can. First and most important, a story can put you in the scenario and in the character, which makes it more real. Ultimately when you're watching porn, you are watching two other people have sex. You can imagine yourself as one of them (or both if you want to, that's fine by me), but their actions are likely to pull you out of it. If you are imaging you are the man, he isn't going to fuck her like you would, he's going to fuck her like he does. If you're a woman, she's not going to react like you would, and the transitions between positions and penetrations aren't going to come when you want them to.
In a story, on the other hand, you read and fantasize at your own pace. Your mind can wander as it will, filling in the missing pieces of the sex scene, putting yourself more fully into it. The girl can be any girl you want her to be; she doesn't have to be the platinum blond porn star from the movies. She can be the girl next door, your long-time crush, or even a coworker. Just as importantly, she can react how you want her to react. In the stories I read, the initial anal penetration is almost ritualistic. It is, in and of itself, an achievement. In porn, you can only stretch out that initial penetration so long, but in a story it can take as long as it needs to, it can last as long as it arouses you to contemplate it. And she can react how you want her to. In a porn movie, the woman might not react at all to a good old-fashioned buttfucking, and perhaps that arouses you. But for some men, and I don't know how many, I think the arousal is in the reactions, is in seeing the girl's face as she finally lets you live out your fantasy. That face can be whatever you want it to be, stoic or said, weeping or smiling. It could take you thousands of hours of watching porn to find an actress making the right face, or you might never find it, but in your mind it can always be perfect.
Now I could be completely wrong on this, but I believe that men, for all their reputation as visual people who just want to watch people fuck, are still creatures of fantasy. They still imagine themselves seducing the babysitter, or their teacher, or sweet-talking some girl at a party into letting them have their way with them.
I've got my hands on a few stories my publisher recently released that deal with a subject that you would think would be very easy for porn to do. The stories are focused on a woman's first time trying anal sex (which I admit is a subject I don't exactly shy away from), but they are written from the man's point of view. I've had a number of discussion with friends and a few fellow writers about whether these will sell.
These discussions center around two things, whether or not men read erotica, and whether or not these stories might appeal to women. I'll deal with the second one later, but today I want to talk about the first, the question of whether or not men read erotica (keep an eye out for a later post dealing with the second question, hopefully coming soon).
The central reason many people believe men don't read erotica is because men are visual, and men have porn, so they don't need erotica. I think this idea is fundamentally flawed for many of the same reasons I think some fetishes lend themselves to words over pictures. To some extent, allowing the mind to do both the casting and the acting makes for a higher quality production. This is in part because porn isn't known for its acting, but partially because unlike most movies, porn isn't about a well written script, a well structured plot, and well realized characters. It's about sex. The problem is that even for many men, sex isn't just sex. Sex is fantasy.
We're going to go back to the stories I mentioned earlier, and talk about the differences between what the stories can do and what the films can. First and most important, a story can put you in the scenario and in the character, which makes it more real. Ultimately when you're watching porn, you are watching two other people have sex. You can imagine yourself as one of them (or both if you want to, that's fine by me), but their actions are likely to pull you out of it. If you are imaging you are the man, he isn't going to fuck her like you would, he's going to fuck her like he does. If you're a woman, she's not going to react like you would, and the transitions between positions and penetrations aren't going to come when you want them to.
In a story, on the other hand, you read and fantasize at your own pace. Your mind can wander as it will, filling in the missing pieces of the sex scene, putting yourself more fully into it. The girl can be any girl you want her to be; she doesn't have to be the platinum blond porn star from the movies. She can be the girl next door, your long-time crush, or even a coworker. Just as importantly, she can react how you want her to react. In the stories I read, the initial anal penetration is almost ritualistic. It is, in and of itself, an achievement. In porn, you can only stretch out that initial penetration so long, but in a story it can take as long as it needs to, it can last as long as it arouses you to contemplate it. And she can react how you want her to. In a porn movie, the woman might not react at all to a good old-fashioned buttfucking, and perhaps that arouses you. But for some men, and I don't know how many, I think the arousal is in the reactions, is in seeing the girl's face as she finally lets you live out your fantasy. That face can be whatever you want it to be, stoic or said, weeping or smiling. It could take you thousands of hours of watching porn to find an actress making the right face, or you might never find it, but in your mind it can always be perfect.
Now I could be completely wrong on this, but I believe that men, for all their reputation as visual people who just want to watch people fuck, are still creatures of fantasy. They still imagine themselves seducing the babysitter, or their teacher, or sweet-talking some girl at a party into letting them have their way with them.
Actually, a Picture Isn't Always Worth a Thousand Words (Part III)
The title of this post doesn't necessarily fit the content, but because it is about a subject I first started to address in a previous post, I called it this to make it easier for people to find it. Sorry if that disappoints a few of my readers.
I recently wrote about whether or not men read erotica, but I also mentioned wondering if women read erotica that is from a man's point of view. To try to answer that question, I decided to read a few stories of that ilk myself. Because I'm a loyal girl, I went ahead and stuck with my fellow MotsErotica authors for this discussion, but you can plug in whoever you like.
Most of the stories I read were by Clark Adams, our resident expert on buttfucking. His stories fall neatly into two camps, fantasy erotica and character-driven erotica. The fantasy erotica is easy to spot, because it has titles like Backdooring the Fill in the Blank or Cornholing the Fill in the Blank. These stories are very simple, and are not altogether different than porn. Reading them, I was aroused as often as not, but they had limited impact on me, and I don't think I would actually seek them out. What I found most fascinating about them was their idea of anal sex as a reward for being a nice guy. Frequently in Clark's stories, the man does something nice for the woman, so she rewards him by giving him her anal cherry. These stories also follow a general sexual pattern, where the girl struggles at first but eventually gets into it. I think that the formula is probably pretty close to the average male anal sex fantasy, and perhaps that is why it is arousing enough but not particularly exciting.
The other stories he writes, however, are their own kind of genius. The series is called I Told You So, and it makes me sad he hasn't written any since around Christmas of last year, because I find them incredibly fascinating. Here, we get a recurring character who specializes in talking women into some first time buttfucking. This basic setup could fall horribly flat, in part due to potential lack of believability, except for two very important facts. One, the narrator (these are first person stories) is absolutely captivating, almost like Holden Caulfield if Holden was a sexual deviant. Second, the girls themselves are actual characters, and their characters matter. Each of them has some sort of personality weakness, and the narrator exploits those weaknesses to get what he wants before casting them aside. Now, it's possible that I prefer this because the concept of consent in erotica is indelibly attractive to me, but I think there's more to it, especially because the narrator reveals just enough about himself for the reader to understand that he is just as broken as the women he pursues.
Now here's the strangest thing of all. I'm not completely sure that the I Told You So stories are always successful as erotica. I find the sex in some of them incredibly hot, mostly because the evocative language the narrative uses really sells the sensations of what's occurring. It is very easy to put yourself in the place of the woman being violated, and I find violation sexy. But there are times when the stories are almost too compelling to be erotic. The reader can be distracted by the characters, distracted by the search for meaning being encapsulated in a moment of dirty sex. This is especially evident in I Told You So 5, when we get our first real glimpse at the man the narrator used to be. But oddly enough, I would buy the next I Told You So the day it came out, because characters matter. Though there are occasions when the character gets in the way of the sex, the moments when he doesn't, the moments when we appreciate the brief pleasure these wayward souls wrench from each other's bodies, I'm more aroused than I am by almost any story written by a female author.
I find myself frequently hoping that the I Told You So saga finds an audience, mostly because it is something altogether different than the rest of the erotica available on the internet. It both reduces sex to its most horrific egocentricity, but it also humanizes eroticism in a way that few things do. It reminds me of one of my all-time favorite songs, World Full of Nothing by Depeche Mode. "She's lonely/And he says/It's for her only/That he lusts/She doesn't trust him/Nothing is true/But he will do/In a world full of nothing/Though it's not love/It means something."
I recently wrote about whether or not men read erotica, but I also mentioned wondering if women read erotica that is from a man's point of view. To try to answer that question, I decided to read a few stories of that ilk myself. Because I'm a loyal girl, I went ahead and stuck with my fellow MotsErotica authors for this discussion, but you can plug in whoever you like.
Most of the stories I read were by Clark Adams, our resident expert on buttfucking. His stories fall neatly into two camps, fantasy erotica and character-driven erotica. The fantasy erotica is easy to spot, because it has titles like Backdooring the Fill in the Blank or Cornholing the Fill in the Blank. These stories are very simple, and are not altogether different than porn. Reading them, I was aroused as often as not, but they had limited impact on me, and I don't think I would actually seek them out. What I found most fascinating about them was their idea of anal sex as a reward for being a nice guy. Frequently in Clark's stories, the man does something nice for the woman, so she rewards him by giving him her anal cherry. These stories also follow a general sexual pattern, where the girl struggles at first but eventually gets into it. I think that the formula is probably pretty close to the average male anal sex fantasy, and perhaps that is why it is arousing enough but not particularly exciting.
The other stories he writes, however, are their own kind of genius. The series is called I Told You So, and it makes me sad he hasn't written any since around Christmas of last year, because I find them incredibly fascinating. Here, we get a recurring character who specializes in talking women into some first time buttfucking. This basic setup could fall horribly flat, in part due to potential lack of believability, except for two very important facts. One, the narrator (these are first person stories) is absolutely captivating, almost like Holden Caulfield if Holden was a sexual deviant. Second, the girls themselves are actual characters, and their characters matter. Each of them has some sort of personality weakness, and the narrator exploits those weaknesses to get what he wants before casting them aside. Now, it's possible that I prefer this because the concept of consent in erotica is indelibly attractive to me, but I think there's more to it, especially because the narrator reveals just enough about himself for the reader to understand that he is just as broken as the women he pursues.
Now here's the strangest thing of all. I'm not completely sure that the I Told You So stories are always successful as erotica. I find the sex in some of them incredibly hot, mostly because the evocative language the narrative uses really sells the sensations of what's occurring. It is very easy to put yourself in the place of the woman being violated, and I find violation sexy. But there are times when the stories are almost too compelling to be erotic. The reader can be distracted by the characters, distracted by the search for meaning being encapsulated in a moment of dirty sex. This is especially evident in I Told You So 5, when we get our first real glimpse at the man the narrator used to be. But oddly enough, I would buy the next I Told You So the day it came out, because characters matter. Though there are occasions when the character gets in the way of the sex, the moments when he doesn't, the moments when we appreciate the brief pleasure these wayward souls wrench from each other's bodies, I'm more aroused than I am by almost any story written by a female author.
I find myself frequently hoping that the I Told You So saga finds an audience, mostly because it is something altogether different than the rest of the erotica available on the internet. It both reduces sex to its most horrific egocentricity, but it also humanizes eroticism in a way that few things do. It reminds me of one of my all-time favorite songs, World Full of Nothing by Depeche Mode. "She's lonely/And he says/It's for her only/That he lusts/She doesn't trust him/Nothing is true/But he will do/In a world full of nothing/Though it's not love/It means something."
