Kelly McCoy's Blog

Ground: A Firefighter’s Philosophy for Living

Hi Friends, I wanted to share with you that I have a new book out titled, Ground: A Firefighter’s Philosophy for Living. If I am being honest, I sort of had this humming thought in the back of my mind as I wrote this book, “no more suicides.” I want my family and friends, heck, […]

5 Star Reviews

I wanted to share some really nice news. My book, Endure: A Memoir of Grief, Resilience, and Love has received two 5 Star Rating Reviews by Readers’ Favorite Book Reviews and Award Contest. The full reviews are below: Reviewed by Carol Thompson for Readers’ Favorite Endure: A Memoir of Grief, Resilience, and Love by Kelly […]

Endure, the Book

Hello family and friends, A special day has arrived. After months of writing, revising, and reflecting, Endure: A Memoir of Grief, Resilience, and Love is now available as a book. Over a year ago, I wrote a painful letter to family and friends, sharing the tragic news of losing our son, Cooper. Through that letter, […]

Just To Be With You

Dear Cooper, I miss you. It is impossible to explain how broken my heart is without you here. I am so, so sorry that I did not understand what was going on. Moms are supposed to know these things. I look at your pictures in disbelief every day. The pain of never seeing you again, […]

Theological Three Sisters

Here we are. October 8th, the one-year anniversary of Cooper’s death, is two weeks away. This has been a year in the dark wilderness, for sure. In these last few weeks leading up to this significant mile maker in our lives, I have certainly felt it in my mind, body, and soul. Deep in my […]

Surfers, Mosaic Artists, and Carpenters

During the summer of 2018, I spent four months working on our house in Tucson, Arizona preparing to sell it.  We were moving to Montana. It was a fine summer, one my favorites.  I worked with my hands, used a variety of tools, and in general was able to connect in a deep way with […]

I love you

My brother, my mom, this family—we will never be the same. We will never know what Cooper was going through or why he took his own life. I wish we could go back to life before October 8th, 2023. I wish we could have prevented this. I believe if Cooper could have made it through […]

Spread Cooper Kindness

When I think of my grandson, I will always remember his character. His kind heart was genuine and compassionate; he was warm, gentle, and caring. He loved his family and his dogs. I hope his legacy will always be to spread kindness. I still struggle with the word “suicide,” as my mind still can’t imagine […]

Free Write

When Cooper died, and in the months that followed, I found myself walking and moving in a very, very deep spiritual place. I felt as though I could literally reach out and touch the spiritual world if I wanted to. I mean this sincerely. Out of respect for what’s on the other side, the spiritual […]

“Thinking of you, Cooper” Spotify Playlist

Beginning in October 2023, I slowly started adding songs to my “Thinking of you, Cooper” playlist on Spotify. I like to go on long walks (my Trail of Tears) and listen to this playlist, and usually, the tears flow. I have developed a new relationship with music these days, a deeper appreciation for how it […]