Charlie Foxtrot's Blog, page 4

WIP: A Glimpse Into Elara’s Struggles in Technomancer

Continuing to share the opening scenes from my current work in progress, Technomancer.

Elara closed the door behind her and looked around the tiled bathing chamber. A mirror filled the wall behind the washing basins. She figured out the taps and spotted similar handles in a glass enclosed space to one side. She reached in and turned them. Water began to stream out of a nozzle set high on the wall. She nodded and concentrated for the briefest of moments to let the weave of moonbeams that had made her dress slip away. Naked once more, she stepped into the small room and let the tepid water cascade over her body. She closed her eyes as the water warmed, then hung her head and cried softly.

“Goddess, hear my prayer,” she pleaded.

There was no responding sense of comfort or attention. She was alone, she reminded herself.

Her lessons on pity washed over her mind once again. With limited determination, she grabbed a sponge and scrubbed at her body. She tried to blot out the memory of being soiled by the vile man who had stripped her connection to her goddess. She wanted to wash away the memory of what he had done to her.

Elara used the bar of soap to clean herself further, shocked at the amount of filth that had accumulated on her feet. Finn had been right to ask her to clean up. He may not be the powerful person she needed to seek, but he seemed to be a good man. Even in her home, few people fleeing for their lives would have offered to help a stranger.

Once clean, she turned off the water and stepped back to the cold tile floor before the mirror. She saw a towel hanging on a bar, and used it to dry her hair first, then her body. She ran her fingers through her damp hair, and then without thinking, wove the moonbeams once again. It was easier this time, just as it had been easier the second time performing the weave as a novice. Looking in the mirror, she saw the dress was more substantial as well, less translucent and revealing. It was not yet the full length she expected, but it was below her knees now. Sandals were on her feet as well.

She nodded to herself. Maybe her goddess had not abandoned her completely.

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Essential Editing Tips for Novelists: Filling Plot Holes

Last week I discussed ongoing editing of my current work in progress. The difference between creating and editing has been a motivational struggle, but I feel I have gotten into a rhythm over the past week. Here are a few accomplishments and observations since that last post.

Plot conflict tracing is done for all of the major plot lines and reader promises. This was a big effort, but helped spot a few continuity errors, as well as some missing plot details relevant to the conflict.I’ve closed the major miss I discussed last week. I had only implied the resolution, not provided a scene showing the definitive outcome. As a result of that observation, I added a few short (500 to 1000 word) scenes that not only bring the plot to a resolution, but also set up follow-on story opportunities for the future.Story length is not going to be a big issue. Yes, I’ll add scenes that will probably push the novel beyond 100k words, but it will be better for it. I took a look at chapters in the first half of the book and realized they read “light” in the sense that I skipped over details that would make the characters richer and the later stage conflicts more meaningful. As I reviewed the novel, the pacing still feels right even with additions, and it was the pacing I was concerned about more than the overall length.Staying in a routine during editing is important for me. During NaNoWriMo, I was cranking out 1,500 to 2,000 words every day. Editing has seen me float between 250 and 1,000 words depending on if I’m editing, tacking plot points, or reworking scenes. It’s a different pace, but I am now satisfied with it. I feel that giving myself some grace on the progress is important to keep me from rushing out a bad novel.I’ve decided to continue using my work in progress for my regular Monday posts (Marketing Monday’s) in hopes that I can build some demand for the novel once it’s ready. Feel free to comment on any of those WIP posts.

As we come up to the end of the year and holiday celebrations, I’ll continue working while also connecting with friends and family. I hope everyone has happy holidays, and look forward to sharing and hearing comments as you follow along on this journey.

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Marketing Monday’s: Discussion of WIP posts.

My recent marketing Monday posts have been focusing on sharing chapters and scenes from my work in progress, tentatively titled “Technomancer”. The story is intended to be a blend of fantasy and science fiction with two primary viewpoint characters, as well as some supporting characters with their own point of view narratives.

To date, I’ve posted the five chapters that form the prologue of the book, and generally introduce the protagonists and antagonists. With yesterday’s post, I began sharing the main body of the book, or the first act if you want to think of it that way.

Why show a work in progress, rather than excepts or other methods of marketing my existing works? It’s a fair question. My problem with continuing to pick scenes from my other work revolves around two facts:

My other works are Erotic Science Fiction, which means some scenes are not really suitable for public posting. As I’ve mentioned before, I don’t object to posting or sharing these scenes, but I also don’t want this blog to become an erotic publishing platform. Spoilers will come to light if I continue sharing elements from my published books. I have several scenes from “A New Past” that would make good teasers for marketing, but they either require knowledge of what has come before them, or they will spoil something that I hope the reader will discover in the narrative. This is especially true for books two and three in the series, since they will reveal things that come before them. Neither type of spoiling is how I want to promote my work.

For these two reasons, I’ve been focusing on my current work in progress to build your desire to read the full tale. I won’t be posting every chapter or scene here. I will try to share scenes that build tension and engage readers with the main characters. You’ll have to let me know if I’m successful. Like the posts or leave a comment and let me know your thoughts. Thanks.

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WIP Technomancer Excerpt: A Glimpse into Finn’s High-Tech World

Continuing to share the opening scenes from my current work in progress, Technomancer. This is the novel I completed during NaNoWriMo.

Finn looked down the street without focusing on any single shop, building, or person. He felt the neighborhood as much as watched it. Despite the late hour, people were out and about living their lives without realizing they were watched, even in darkness. He knew. He had helped build the modern surveillance state.

Finn’s apartment building stood as an unassuming testament to everyday life. Its brick exterior was well-worn and faded, its once-vibrant colors now dulled by the passage of time and the relentless exposure to the elements. The building, a four-story structure with a pitched roof, blended seamlessly into the fabric of the community – an unremarkable presence amidst the myriad hues and architectural styles that defined the area.

It was safe in its anonymity. Nothing stood out on it to draw the eye. He glanced at his phone, checking his security systems and the spy-eyes he had scattered around the blocks near his home. The government would love to know how he managed to surveil the area without using local spectrum to transmit images. He smiled to himself. They would likely kill to keep others from being able to establish the quantum entangled communications he had perfected. It was just one of the secrets he needed to protect.

Elara stayed close to him, still disguised in his jacket. Something had troubled her in the subway. He had felt her stiffen and then drop her shoulders as if depressed by a sight, but nothing had stood out to him. His plan to spoof the video feeds in the station had gone off easily. They had boarded the third train into the station and then been whisked uptown to his neighborhood. He had stopped the interference with spy-eyes on a long section of tunnel around midtown.

Finn guided his newest problem through the entryway of his building and up the stairs to the third floor and the door of his apartment. There was nothing special to see on the door, but he knew it was far from typical. A glance at his phone confirmed it had not been touched or opened since he had departed. It unlocked with a tap of his thumb on his device, both the lock and doorknob untouched. His security was far better than simple mechanical locks.

The door opened to reveal a cozy living space filled with warm light. During the day, natural light from the north would stream in through large windows, bringing a hint of the outside in. Bookshelves lined the walls, filled with volumes on various scientific disciplines and technological innovations. The scent of cooking hung in the air brought from various vents in the building, mingling with the faint aroma of fresh paint and the distant echoes of laughter and conversation. It was a comforting clutter to Finn.

Elara followed him inside and watched as he closed the door and placed his hand against a small panel to the side. He held it there until it glowed red, then blue, and finally settled on a pale green hue. He dropped his hand and sighed.

“We’re as safe as I can make us,” he said with a smile.

Elara looked at him, clearly wondering what was next. She glanced around the room, looking at the books on shelves and spread about. Elara’s gaze lingered on the plush couch, invitingly soft and well-worn from years of use. The warmth radiating from its cushions seemed to beckon her in, offering comfort if she chose to sit and relax.

Elara nodded, then pushed back the hood and unzipped her jacket. “Where are we?” she asked in her soft tone.

“My home. It’s safe,” Finn replied.

“No,” she said, shaking her head with a hint of frustration. “What realm are we in? This place, these people, they are not from any realm I know. Where are we?”

Finn scratched the stubble of his scruffy beard. “We’re here. I don’t know of any other realm. Where are you from?”

He was ready for the crazy to come back out, but now did not feel the fear of pursuit. She did not act crazy, but scared. Maybe she was from someplace else. Finn was not going to assume she had broken with reality until she provided some more proof to his first thought of her. He was not quickly judgmental like that. 

“Elysia,” she said softly. “I was born on the Ethereal Plains but raised in the Enchanted Forest. I was just starting my trials for the Moon Goddess when raiders attacked a village I was passing through. They took me and every woman younger than me. I think we went to the Realm of Shadows then.” A shudder passed through her, and her eyes took on a haunted look. She looked around fearfully for a moment, then looked back at Finn with a pleading expression. She looked down.

Finn followed her gaze, seeing her filthy feet. They were perfectly shaped and delicate, but dirty from walking barefoot through the city. He shook his head.

“You should clean up,” he said. “We can talk afterward. For now, let’s get you clean and settled a bit. The bathroom is down there,” he added with a wave of his hand to the short hallway leading to the bathroom and two bedrooms of the apartment.

Elara nodded, dropped his jacket on a chair, and walked away from him. His eyes followed her sinuous gait, admiring her beautiful figure. He shook his head again as she stepped through the doorway to the bathroom. He heard the water for the shower turn on.

Finn looked at the wallboard with the strings of connections he had tracked and verified. The proof from tonight made previously tenuous relationships more concrete. He had proof of the evil being done. Now he needed to expose the facts he had compiled. He turned on the stove and filled a kettle for tea. Who could he trust to bring this story to light?

What do you think? Does it make you want to read more? Drop a like or comment and let me know what you think. All feedback is appreciated.

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Identifying Plot Gaps in Your Novel

I’ve been continuing with my review of my draft novel. I fully believed I had completed it from a plot perspective. Much to my chagrin, a review for editing has shown a big gap in the story.

Here’s what happened.

As part of the review I have begun, I created a tally of the major plot beats using the MICE quotient approach. I couched these in terms of reader promises. Without giving spoilers, these notes looked something like this:

Promise: Elara resisting/overcoming Malachi’s spells and defeating him.Opens: Chapter 1Set-back: Chapter 6 — Notes on what the setback wasSet-back: Chapter 7 — Notes on how Elara is affected by set-backProgress: Chapter 8 — Notes on what the progress is.etc.Resolved: Chapter 29 — climax of conflict

Doing this for each of the main character arcs was beneficial, but it also identified one (so far) hanging plot line that never reached the “Resolved” state. Oops.

Not all bad…

Putting the effort into tracing these beats in a structured manner has not been just bad news from a story perspective. It has also gotten me re-engaged with the story and let me do some simple clean-up as I trace the tale and conflicts.

I’ve been using Ulysses, a Mac/Apple specific writing tool for this novel and must say some of its features make this tracing exercise very easy to perform. Each scene in the book is a separate “sheet” within a “group” in the overall book. This lets me insert or move scenes without worrying about cut/paste errors or formatting. This gives me great flexibility in moving scenes around while looking at the overall plot progression and structure of the tale.

Ulysses also has inline notes and other features that let me add items to fix or notes to myself as I’m performing my review prior to re-writing.

Starting my editing process with this tool, has made me a big fan of it. I’m sure there are features I’ll request or suggest, but for now, I think I’ve got a good workflow for writing, so that’s a win.

If any readers have alternative approaches to preparing for editing, please do share with a comment. In the meantime, I’ll get back to revising and editing.

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Navigating Writing Challenges: Tips for Revising Your Manuscript

I’ve been off of writing for a couple of weeks due to company visiting around the holidays. One reason I pushed to complete my NaNoWriMo well before the end of November was to give me the breathing room to prepare for guest. After taking a break, I’ve gone back into my work in progress and started to revise and polish.

It’s proving as much a challenge as writing the first draft!

My problem is I’ve lost that emotional high of hitting a word-count goal every day. Instead of knocking out two thousand words a day, I’m going through the manuscript scene-by-scene and editing. A day may see the total word count drop if I cut a scene.

I’m also using this first draft review to give myself notes which will result in added words, but it does not feel like I am progressing as fast as I did during the more rigorous writing of last month.

I’m focusing on some of my own advice from a prior post to “Start before you feel ready.  Stop before you feel done.” To help with this, I’ve blocked out time in my day to spend on these edits and additions. I still want to have the “real” first draft complete before the end of the year, so fingers crossed.

My current challenges & approachMissing character development details. My two main characters are thrown together early in the story, and develop a working relationship, but I gloss over too much of that relationship. This means I have to go back and add some scenes. I’m fine doing that work, but I have to make certain all of the details line up in the broader timeline of the story. This makes it slow work. To help with this, I’m reading through each chapter and adding in notes on the state of the relationship in each chapter. For example, if Finn and Elara are supposed develop trust by chapter ten, I need to show distrust earlier and what actions one or the other takes to build some rapport and trust before it becomes critical to the broader plot.Missing closures on story arcs. I’ve got a lot of threads weaving through the tale, and have found a few that are not effectively resolved. This will require additional scenes or chapters to give the reader a satisfying resolution to the story. Currently, I’m adding notes on missing elements or resolutions in the chapter I spot them in. I also have added notes on the “promises” I’ve made to the reader. For instance, the opening chapters and scenes set an expectation that the agents chasing Finn will catch him or somehow resolve their case against him. This is not as clear as I would like, so I have started adding notes along the way that will move them closer to catching him or revealing what he was doing well before the climax and resolution of that plot line.Needing additional characters. I am a discovery writer. I had the main characters identified during my initial ideation and early work, but needed to add minor characters to move things along. Several “lesser” characters hint at broader aspects of the world, making the narrative feel forced in certain areas. These issues, I think, will remain unresolved until I get some external feedback on the first draft.

If any of you readers have ideas on how to handle any of these challenges, please do share with a comment. In the meantime, I’ll get back to revising and editing.

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Thanksgiving in the USA

This week, on my regular posting day (Thursday), it is Thanksgiving in the USA. Despite the political divide, let’s remember the many blessings our nation enjoys. I don’t claim to have the most accurate assessment of our country’s condition, but I’m grateful that we’re still engaged in constructive dialogue, seeking peaceful solutions to our challenges. 

As we approach this Thanksgiving, I want to extend my warmest wishes to each and every one of you. May this day be filled with gratitude and joy, as we take a moment to reflect on the blessings in our lives. Let’s focus on the things we’re thankful for, rather than dwelling on our worries or anxieties about the world around us. Together, let’s create a positive and uplifting atmosphere, filled with love and appreciation. Happy Thanksgiving!

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WIP: Escape to the Unknown

Continuing to share the opening scenes from my current work in progress, Technomancer. This is the novel I completed during NaNoWriMo.

The alarm startled Finn, sending a surge of adrenalin through him and time seemed to slow. Should he duck and hide? The movement would attract attention, which he wanted to avoid. If he ran, they would surely follow. In a split second, as he sensed a head emerge from around the edge of the door, he decided.

He leaned forward and kissed the strange woman in his arms. She stiffened, as if to fight him off, but he wrapped her tightly in his arms, praying she would relax and not struggle. Thankfully, she did.

Her grip loosened, and she raised her fingers to the back of his head, almost caressing his scalp. Her lips were soft, inviting, and a delight to feel against his own even as he listened to the sounds mixed with the blaring of the alarm. No footsteps that he could hear.

Then the door slammed shut, and the alarm stopped, leaving the night eerily quiet in its aftermath.

Finn dropped his arms and stepped back.

“I’m sorry,” he said quickly, hoping to avoid any ire aimed his way.

The woman looked at him with … something. Longing? Appraisal? He was not sure what she was thinking but was glad she only nodded.

“We need to be going,” he said. “They may come back.”

“Why are they after you?” she asked in her soft tone, barely above a whisper.

“Long story,” he said. “They are after me because I’m after some bad people. I’ll tell you more later.”

He turned her toward the street and took her hand in his, glancing down at his phone clutched in his other hand. Still no warnings of surveillance.

Street, then turn left, he thought. Half a block to the subway. I can spoof the ticket gate, so no risks there. I’ll jam the cameras once we are on the platform. Depending on the trains, we’ll see how long we stay. Maybe the first train, possibly the second.

He knew every train made the agent’s search coverage expand exponentially. At this hour, any station would be busy. The subway was perfect to get lost in. They might revert to the surveillance feed, but his phone would thwart that.

He glanced out the side of his eye, admiring the calm, careful movements of his companion. She was beautiful and so graceful, as if every movement was planned and practiced until it was perfect. He had never seen someone like her before.

Then he realized the problem she would create. If the agents had seen her, she would stand out on surveillance footage. Her striking silver hair would be a beacon to them and an obvious lead to follow up on. Finn would either need to keep jamming their view, and risk creating a moving bubble of obscurity that would lead them to his neighborhood, or he had to find an alternative before they entered the subway. He would not leave her behind. He had given his word to help her.

Finn stopped her just short of the street.

“Here,” he said as he slipped off the canvas jacket with its soft fabric hood. He held it open for her. “We need to make you stand out less,” he said. “If we’re going to get away, I need you to wear this, and pull up the hood.”

She nodded and slipped her arms into the jacket. The teasing sight of her smooth skin barely covered by the thin gossamer fabric of her dress sent a rush of lust through him. Finn forced those thoughts away, even as the memory of their kiss bubbled up in his mind. The sight of her plunging neckline was enticing. It had been too long. Colleen had been the last girl in his life, and that was over three years ago. 

“Zip it up,” he said with a twinge of regret as he reached to pull the hood up and cover her head.

She shook her head, buttoned the jacket and then gathered her silver strands in a hand to make a simple twisted braid before tucking it inside the hood and hiding it from sight. Even in a drab work jacket, she looked spectacular to Finn.

“Okay,” he said. “We’re going out to the street and to the left. The subway is only a half block away. Hold on to my hand so we don’t get separated.”

She nodded and took his hand.

“I’m Elara,” she said softly as he stepped off.

Finn stopped. He looked at her and smiled. “I’m Finn.”

Elara let the strange sights swirl past her, absorbed more than noticed. The cacophony assaulted her ears as they descended smooth rock stairs into a bustling cavern filled with people moving with purpose. Finn waved his hand device at the standing cage blocking their path and then pushed her through in front of him. She panicked for a moment but forced the fear down. Her feet clung to something on the floor, and she marveled at the scents assaulting her from all the people hurrying on their way.

Down another set of stairs, then into a long tunnel with a broad platform lining a lower portion. This must be the subway Finn had mentioned. Why not just call it a tunnel?

Then a strange sound, like a dull roar of water, could be heard in the tunnel. A moment later, as light appeared, followed by a moving string of metal and glass boxes. The contraption stopped by the platform and doors slid open as if by magic. People emerged from the metal beast, and then people on the platform walked on.

Elara felt a sinking in her stomach as she watched the door close. In all the realms of Elysia, she had never heard of such a strange device.

Where was she?

What do you think? Does it make you want to read more? Drop a like or comment and let me know what you think. All feedback is appreciated.

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NaNoWriMo: Week Three

Victory!

I’m participating in NaNoWriMo this year. I’m focusing on finishing the first draft of my work in progress, tentatively titled Technomancer. I’ve shared some of the character background and opening chapters of the work here as well.

This week, I reached my goal of 50,000 words in the month, reaching 50,091 on Nov 20th.

I’m writing earlier in the day, with most of my writing between 8:00 and 9:00 AM.My peak day is still a Saturday with 6,099 words written. I’m averaging 2,529 words per day.

The novel is not yet “complete” in first draft form, since I have a few threads to tie of in the epilogue portion of the book, but it is very close. Overall word count is currently 94,523 and one goal was to keep it around 100k words or less.

I will post the final chapter of the first part of the book as a WIP: posting next Monday, and hope to have the first revision on the draft completed before the end of the year.

A few things I’ve learned during this 20-day journey:

Having a regular writing cadence helps me stay focused on moving the story forward. Yes, I wanted to keep pace on the goal I set to be done this week, but more importantly, I was able to write in the mornings and plan the next installment as I got on with life in the afternoons.The structure of the challenge also forced me to embrace the idea of starting before I was ready and stopping before I was done. Continuing to develop this habit and practice is something I’ll focus on going forward.I had a rough outline that helped guide me, but wish I had more fully plotted out the different character arcs I wanted. I’ll be revisiting each of those in the editing process.

Would I do it again? Absolutely. I encourage anyone thinking of writing a novel to jump into next years’ challenge, or just do it and start now. Set a goal and start writing!

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WIP: Finn’s Thrilling Escape: A Scene from Technomancer

Continuing to share the opening scenes from my current work in progress, Technomancer. This is the novel I’m working to complete during NaNoWriMo.

Finn could hear the agents in the stair well high above him. He kept his steps light as he hugged the wall and avoided exposing himself should they look over the flimsy railing of this escape route. His shoes were sturdy and laced tight, with rubberized soles that absorbed the light sound of his footfalls. He pulled the hood of his canvas work coat up over his head, hiding his dark, wavy mop of hair. He needed to trim it back to the close-cropped cut he usually kept. For now, he let it grow out, just in case he needed a hasty haircut to alter his appearance.

He thought about his options as he descended as quickly as he could without alerting his pursuit. Two doors were at the bottom of this stairwell. One would go back into the maintenance and service area of the building. The other into the alley separating this building from its neighbor. He would be exposed in the alley, at least until he could make it to the street, but the maintenance area only had one other exit, aside from the service elevator which was most likely being monitored by now.

He reached the ground floor and stopped, listening. How much time did he have? The slap-slap-slap of leather on stairs gave little sense of distance, but he guessed they were at least six or seven floors above him. The exit was in the middle of the alley. If he was lucky, he could make the street before they reached the floor.

He eased the doorway open. He had carefully oiled the hinges of doors along all his escape routes days ago and bypassed alarms. Finn glanced at his phone. No active surveillance in the area. The agents should have deployed drones or spy-cams around the building before trying to catch him. Maybe they did not want a record of their actions. It was a sobering thought.

He slipped through the door and closed it carefully. No loud bangs or thuds telling his pursuers which way he had gone. He tapped an icon on his phone and felt the electronic contact in the doorframe release. If they opened the door, the alarm would sound. It might convince them to resume their search inside.

“Now just make it to the street,” he said softly.

He stepped around the garbage dumpster and started to jog toward the end of the alley. The street he was heading for was on the opposite block of the entrance they must have used to reach him. Getting to the street, he could turn south and be down on the subway in half-a-block. Once down there, they could never follow him. He just needed a crowd to mingle in and activate his phone, then surveillance would be fuzzed for twenty yards around him. They would have no hope of following all the people suddenly hidden. Hop on a train, stop the jammer in a tunnel, and he would be one of the anonymous masses once more.

He heard the soft sobbing and slowed to locate its source. No one was around, but the sound grabbed his attention. Then he saw her. She shimmered, as if coming into focus in the night.

Her silver hair shone in the faint light of the alley, amplifying moonlight that was hidden by the tall buildings and scattered clouds above the city. She was sitting on a milk crate, with her knees hugged to her chest, wearing a light silky dress of blue and green. He noticed the silver bracelets on her ankles with jewels showing. She would not have them long, if she stayed around this part of the city.

She looked up at him as he stopped his flight. Her long, cascading silver hair fell in waves around her shoulders, framing her sharp features and piercing emerald eyes. The delicate curves of her face accentuated by the high cheekbones, giving her an air of regality, while her lips were full of promise, set in determination as she stifled her crying. Her complexion was pale, with faint freckles just visible in the poor light, giving her a youthful and sun-kissed appearance. 

Finn shook his head, careful not to dislodge his glasses. Chivalry warred with self-preservation. His pursuers could come out any moment.

“Are you alright?” he asked, glancing back over his shoulder.

“No,” she said in a flat tone, as if it should be obvious, she had problems.

Finn sighed. He didn’t have time for this. He also knew it was not in his nature to leave her in distress. Maybe it was a simple issue, he thought.

“Look, I want to help you, but I’ve got my own problems. Do you want help or not?”

She nodded and stood. She was almost his height. “I need to find a man I don’t know, in a place I’ve never been, and my goddess has abandoned me. Can you help?”

He shook his head. A crazy woman. He was on the run for his life and stopped to help a crazy woman. It didn’t matter if she was beautiful and mysterious, she was going to get him caught and killed, or worse.

“Possibly,” he said without thinking. He knew he could solve most challenges, given time to think. It was his habit to not shy away from any problem. “But I can’t do it here, and I can’t get caught here. If you come with me, I promise to try to help. Will that work?”

The woman flung her arms around him just as the night was shattered by the piercing blare of a door’s security alarm going off. 

What do you think? Does it make you want to read more? Drop a like or comment and let me know what you think. All feedback is appreciated.

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