Ann Voskamp's Blog, page 17
August 10, 2024
How to Grow Older ( & It’s My Birthday & You Can Have All these free Gifts!)
Here’s to blowing out another round of candles on the cake today and beginning another spin around the sun! Growing older is this gift that makes all the present moments sweeter.
It’s joy that reverse ages us.
There was a rainbow arching over our cornfields last week and I ran across the lawn to snap a picture of its bowed promise, and the summer rain felt like resurrection on my face and I laughed happy and I could feel it: It’s joy that reverse ages us.
If your eyes keep looking for loveliness, you keep from growing old and only grow more lovely.
He and I sat on the porch later and rocked in the old rocking chairs, watching the shimmering rhythm of the rain dance with the sun all across the hollyhocks in the garden, and down the front walk, and I turn to see him smiling and I can testify to what I saw: If your eyes keep looking for loveliness, you keep from growing old and only grow more lovely.
After dinner last Sunday, when we wander down the back lane by the river, down by our wee flock of sheep grazing in the blush of a summer sunset, one massive bald eagle takes to the air from somewhere the other side of the willows, takes our breath away, and there wasn’t time to take a picture, only time enough to take in all this glory.
Let something take away your breath, and you let awe of God take away your age.
We shake our heads, astonished.
Let something take away your breath, and you let awe of God take away your age.
I’m thinking this come Monday, when the Farmer and I clean up after chores and head to the visitation of a kind, neighboring farmer who lost his life under a tractor. This is a story I know. This is a story I desperately wish I didn’t know, that they didn’t know, that no other farmer’s daughter ever has to know. This is a glorious world that holds the most bewildering grief. This life aches with beauty and with pain.
My Farmer slips his worn hand through mine, steadying me, as we wait in line to pay our deepest respects. We nod to farmers we’ve known and lived beside for the last 30 years and think of how we are all looking older than we imagine we are, how time and love and living is making us all real. All our gentle wrinkles are time wearing away all that doesn’t matter until we are left with the essence, with what will really matter in the end.
That glorious flash before your eyes just before you die is actually the thing called your one and only glorious gift of a life.
We linger with all these framed pictures of different seasons of one man’s life, when he first got married, when he held his first baby, when he walked his first daughter down the aisle, when held his first grandbaby, when he gathered with his family for the last time, but never imagined it was the last time.
“What do you want in all of your photos in the end, when they set out the picture frames of the story of your life at your visitation, what do you want your life story to say?” I quietly ask the Farmer on the way home, cornfields blurring by.
“That we really loved God… that we really loved our people… that we ran our race really well because we ran it in the right direction,” he measures his words, feeling the weight of our one life, and he reaches out for my hand.
What changes your awful days is awe of God.
And I take it… take all these moments and take none of this living for granted because this life is ending and what matters is what direction every one of our days take, that we take joy, take life as an astonishing gift, take it deeply personally, all this love of God.
At this point, this is what I know as I blow out a small blaze of candles today:
That glorious flash before your eyes just before you die is actually the thing called your one and only glorious gift of a life.
You can give way to the grief — or you can give thanks that you loved enough to grieve.
What changes your awful days is awe of God.
If you turn the right direction when you’re down in the trenches, you can still see the stars dance.
You can give way to the grief — or you can give thanks that you loved enough to grieve.
We love as much as we accept that we are loved.
Live fully and your life has no room to fear death.
The more you open to prayer, the more you close your soul to being perturbed.
The more you open to prayer, the more you close your soul to being perturbed.
Because you’re made by the Word, life isn’t about trying to find yourself, life is about opening to the Word Himself to write your story.
You only get to live once on this side, and you won’t get it right, so once won’t seem good enough — but if you let Jesus be all your right, you get to live the best for all eternity.
Pray, lament, give thanks, and hold space for the tension, and God gives you Himself.
When the candles blaze today, when I blow them out and all the years of smoke clears, that will be the invitation, that is always the invitation: Relax into the gift of all this, that it is a rare and miraculous gift to even get to exist.
Frame your days with sacred prayer, and certain gratitude, and your life will be a masterpiece of love.
Frame your days with sacred prayer, and certain gratitude, and your life will be a masterpiece of love.
And you find your own life rewritten and restored and re-storied, into a life that is the kind of picture of meaningfulness you want to see in the end.
The fresh grace to begin a new year, to begin again now in this present moment – is the gift that cannot be missed.
It happens – when you blow out the candles, something can alight in you.
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August 8, 2024
How Do You Pray In Days Like These & When Life’s Really Hard?
“True, whole prayer — is nothing but love,” writes St. Augustine.
It’s a tender question: Is the only reason we don’t truly pray, is because we don’t truly love?
If one’s not praying regularly, is it only because something else is regularly loved more than God?
“The only reason we fail to pray, is because we’ve made an idol out of self. The only thing that prevents me from praying more — is me.”
I don’t know where I was when the conviction struck me so hard it stung for days: The only reason we fail to pray, is because we’ve made an idol out of self. The only thing that prevents me from praying more — is me.
Look in the mirror, in my calendar, in my own heart and confess, I’ve had to painfully face:
It is only my own inflated sense of self-importance, the elevation of my plans, my work, of my agenda, that keeps me from prayer-communion. That’s called idol worship. It’s a striking thing of deep conviction to realize: I don’t pray enough because I’m practicing idol worship.
But what else is it when I too often have something else that comes first, or one more thing to do, or anything else that’s more distracting, appealing, satisfying instead of stopping my work to still my heart and speak words back to the very Word from whence I came?
“My prayer life reflects my theology — or my idolatry.“
The truth I came to sit with is: My prayer life reflects my theology — or my idolatry.
Unless we make time to genuinely pray — our other priorities betray what we genuinely think of Jesus. The extent of prayer in one’s life is a direct function of whether something else has been set up as more important than God.
I began to whisper it gently to my soul: Do not work so hard for Christ, that you make no time to pray to Christ. He is the lifeblood of all work, all joy, all hope, all being, all communion.
I began to slowly turn and learn: When I choose to still in prayer is when I know that He’s God… and I am not.
When I bow, idols topple.
“Prayer becomes what we live when we want to get hold of God, not just get a hold of what we want. “
In the last several years, we as a family, began to embrace a daily rhythm of prayer, by gathering in a circle in our kitchen as the sun came up, and bowing our heads in prayer first thing, before any of us did anything else.
The house of our Lord is a house of prayer — and we realize that prayer is the only way we can keep ours standing.
Each morning, we pray honestly, vulnerably, we pray through tears, we pray His Word, we pray each one of us around the circle, we pray first thing, we pray our hearts to the One who gave us a new heart. This is what we began to do: We returned to our first love.
We discovered: Prayer is not what we do before we begin our work. Prayer is our life’s work.
Prayer becomes what we live when we want to get hold of God, not just get a hold of what we want.
And real prayer isn’t about changing God’s mind, but about finding God’s heart, and letting His heart change our minds.
Is this why God urges us to pray without ceasing? We need to pray without ceasing — because it’s the only way to live in communion. Without prayer, how can our life and His will have anything in common? Without prayer — we have no fellowship, no relationship, no worship.
“Real prayer isn’t about changing God’s mind, but about finding God’s heart, and letting His heart change our minds.“
But when we choose to enter a life of prayer, He enters into our thoughts, takes captive every thought because we are most captivated with Him, Him having first place in our hearts and hours and priorities — and the conversation never ends, and we have our heart’s real desire — communion with Christ.
“I know of no better thermometer to your spiritual temperature than this: the measure of the intensity of your prayer,” writes Charles Spurgeon.
And the relief is? None of us pray alone.
Though you think no one is praying with you, the Ultimate One is praying for you.
The One who breathes stars breathes prayers for you, the One whose words spoke the world into being uses priceless words over your being, the One who made time, lives beyond time, controls all of time, uses all of His time to pray for you, because you are priceless to Him.
“Hard times don’t need to understand what God’s doing — like they need to know God’s standing with us, that He’s kneeling in prayer for us at all times.”
Jesus is praying right now that the Spirit comforts you, strengthens you, anoints you with fresh oil of brave joy. Jesus is seeing us through, carrying us through, praying us through. And when we’re struggling to pray, it’s Jesus Himself Who prays for all we’re struggling with. There are arms that won’t let you go, there are plans that won’t abandon you, there are prayers that won’t fail you.
Jesus won’t get off His knees until you are in His arms.
Nothing makes you more fiercely brave than knowing Jesus is fiercely praying for you.
Hard times don’t need to understand what God’s doing — like they need to know God’s standing with us, that He’s kneeling in prayer for us at all times.
And there is nothing we need more than to learn how to become a prayer warrior— instead of a panicked worrier. Worry is just the facade of taking action — when prayer really is.
“Prayer is not what we do before we work, nor is prayer what we do instead of our work. Prayer is our life’s work.”
When I think how prayer is always our most real work, our most meaningful act, I remember again the story of Abba Paul, that desert monk who wove baskets and prayers. And while other monks lived close enough to cities to sell their handiwork in the markets, Abba Paul lived such a distance that the cost of transportation would exceed any profits from selling the baskets.
Nonetheless, each day he collected palm fronds and worked as faithfully as if basket making were his primary means of support. And come the end of the year, when his cave overflowed with long months of toil, he took torch to the work of his hands and the flames devoured and rose higher and cackled long into the night. Then, come morning, the heat died away, satiated. And Abba Paul stood in the long quiet and the wind blew away the ashes of all his work.
It is not the products of our days that will matter in the end, but the prayers of our days. Prayer is not what we do before we work, nor is prayer what we do instead of our work. Prayer is our life’s work.
“The prayers we weave into the matching of socks, the stirring of oatmeal, the washing of floors, the coming and going and all the moments of our work, these survive fire.”
Because by and large the work of our hands, the to-lists, the plotting across planners, while all needful acts of service, these acts will become ash in wind. “[O]n the judgment day, fire will reveal what kind of work each builder has done. The fire will show if a person’s work has any value. If the work survives, that builder will receive a reward. But if the work is burned up, the builder will suffer great loss. The builder will be saved, but like someone barely escaping through a wall of flames” (1 Cor. 3:13-15).
What survives fire? Our places of work won’t. Neither will the actual work of our hands. Abba Paul’s baskets didn’t. But what was wove into the baskets did — the prayers. Ora et Labora — work and pray — but what is everything: weave prayers through all the work.
The prayers we weave into the matching of socks, the stirring of oatmeal, the washing of floors, the coming and going and all the moments of our work, these survive fire.
Return to your First Love — for prayer is nothing but love for Love Himself.
We were loved to life by the Word, by Him kneeling close and kissing us to life with His warm breath, and when our words return to Him in prayer, we are returning home.
We become whole — when our breath becomes prayer.
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When you need hope, the first place to look is by getting down on your knees.
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August 2, 2024
Olympics & Headlines & Fraught Times: How to Move Through These Days
Fraught times, these dog days of summers, and the air everywhere feels charged.
What decides the race of life – is the inner life.
Air waves snap and cackle with heated headlines.
Contentious lines keep getting drawn everywhere. Accusations and assumptions slap all around. All kinds of things sting.
And then the entire global family gathering around for the anticipated grit and grandeur of the Olympic games feels polarized and electric with debate.
And yet, in the midst of everything, there’s Leon Marchand who won gold in the 200 meter butterfly at 8:42 pm on Wednesday night, and then turn around and dove into the pool less than 2 hrs later for the 200 m breaststroke, only to capture that gold at 10:36 pm, becoming the first in history to win gold in both 200 m butterfly and breaststroke in the same Olympics – let alone less than 120 minutes apart. 17,000 spectators in the La Defense Arena roared with awe. And for me it was the truth Leon had quietly said several days prior about what had transformed him from a great swimmer into a historic swimmer – words for what it really means to live well in this moment in history.
Resistance happens wherever there’s surface-living. More depth — less resistance.
“I was watching a documentary about Michael [Phelps] and [his coach] Bob a few years ago,” Marchand quietly offered, “and it was all about the underwater. It showed how good Michael was at going faster underwater. He was explaining how you could escape from the waves, the surface, at every turn. Just go deeper, push deeper at the wall, and work under the water more than usual.”
He’s not wrong. And it’s not true only of swimming. It’s true of fraught times and charged days and contentious rhetoric and conflicting perspectives:
What happens under the surface is what will ultimately overcome.
What decides the race of life – is the inner life.
When the intensity of things goes higher — is when we go deeper.
When the intensity of things goes higher — is when we go deeper.
“You can kick faster underwater than you can above water,” is what swimming and diving coach at Trinity College, Carlos Vega, said “So if you can maximize power and speed underwater, there’s a lot less resistance, there’s a lot less drag…”
There’s a lot less drag when we go deeper.
The drag happens when you stay on the surface — on the surface of all the stories, on the surface of relationships, on the surface of your faith, the surface of your life. The drag happens when you don’t go deeper for context, deeper for clarity, deeper for truth.
Resistance happens wherever there’s surface-living.
If you’re tired of the drag of things — go deeper. Go deeper into prayer, deeper into the Word, deeper into silence and solitude and the Spirit, deeper into deeply connecting with God and people.
More depth — less resistance.
“Swimming underwater for so long allows swimmers to avoid the waves…” is how one world-class coach put it.
If you’re tired of the drag of things — go deeper. Go deeper into prayer, deeper into the Word, deeper into silence and solitude and the Spirit, deeper into deeply connecting with God and people.
If you want to avoid the chaos of all the waves — avoid the slickness of the surface. Avoid the screens and the clickbait headlines, avoid the soundbites and the veneer sensationalism, avoid the distractions and all the seemingly easy ways through – and yearn for something deeper, go live something deeper.
The longer you stay deep — the faster you move forward.
It’s tempting to stay where the action is, stay where the waves and the current and the noise is all happening, but it’s only when you go to the depths do you experience the depths of God.
The way to win is to go deep. Jesus Himself beckons: “Put out into the deep water...” (Luke 5:4)
The way to win … is to live deep.
The deeper you’re willing to go — the more you’re going to move forward.
Phelps will tell you, Marchand will tell you, all the prophets and the Good Shepherd Himself will tell you:
The only hope of rising to the heights, is to go down into the depths of the cruciform, counter-culture ways of Christ.
When you hit the wall, that’s not the time to give up — that’s the time to push deeper. Just as Jesus urges: “The seed that fell on rock is like those who hear God’s teaching and accept it gladly, but they don’t allow the teaching to go deep into their lives. They believe for a while, but when trouble comes, they give up.” (Luke 8, NCV)
Whenever you a the wall, that’s the time to go deeper.
And how do we go deeper?
The Depth happens at The Turn.
Turn, turn around, turn from the worry, turn from the angst, the doubts, the fear, the despair, the bitterness, the control, the rhetoric, the violence.
“All of life turns on turn.” (~WayMaker)
Turn, and at the turn — go deep.
Going deep into silence, into solitude, into the Sacred Word, into union with God, propels you forward toward the fullest life.
These are fraught, charged, unparalleled days. The only Way through is to go deep into Love, deep into sacrifice, deep into the Word, deep into prayer, deep into God.
We will only rise to the heights if we go to the depths of humility, of generosity, of cruciformity, of unity with God and the Spirit who shows us the Way to live the upside-down Kingdom of Christ.
The only hope of rising to the heights is to go down into the depths of the cruciform, counter-culture ways of Christ.
Instead of only being deeply passionate about our perspective, we’re called to be deeply compassionate to other’s pain.
Instead of only being deeply passionate about our perspective, we’re called to be deeply compassionate to other’s pain.
Instead of quickly dismissing the other as evil, we’re called to be deeply considered, caring and cruciform so others don’t miss Christ.
Instead of being forced into some human construct or culturally-defined side, we’re called to the deeper way of Jesus’ Upside Down Kingdom Way of respect for those who live differently, think differently, believe differently.
Because the way of Jesus is always taking the way that is always too conservative for the liberals and too liberal for the conservative.
This is always the way through fraught days:
The only side we take is that of the One whose side was pierced for us.
Any old day you walk into Michael Phelps’ office, what you’d see on his wall is a framed photo finish of his 2008 Olympic 100 M butterfly race, with Phelps on the left, and Serbia’s Cavic on the right, both with hands outstretched. Phelp’s won the race by only 1/100th of a second.
The only side we take is that of the One whose side was pierced for us.
“Looking at photos of the finish, Phelps noticed something. “He’s picking his head up,” Phelps explained, examining the photo. “… And now mine’s in a straight streamline. So that’s the difference in the race. If his head’s down, he wins…”
Head down in the Word, head down in the work of the Kingdom, head down in sacrifice and service and surrender, head down in washing the feet of others, head down in loving those who believe differently, head down in worship to Christ – wins the race.
Whoever’s head’s down – he wins.
“ You’ve all been to the stadium and seen the athletes race” is what the Apostle Paul pointed to: “Run to win. All good athletes train hard. They do it for a gold medal that tarnishes and fades. You’re after one that’s gold eternally.
I don’t know about you, but I’m running hard for the finish line. I’m giving it everything I’ve got.” (1 Corinthians 9:24-27 MSG)
The way to win — is to live deep.
Now is not the time to glide to the finish, now is the time to go deep and keep your head down in the Word, in the cruciform work, and in the upside-down loving ways of God.
The way to win
is to always go deep.
And some day the air will be charged with the alleluia chorus of the heavenly host and glorious welcome home of God and the depths of this race will be worth it all.
When you’re looking for a real way way through, looking for things to turn around, a different trajectory…. a real change.
When you’re looking to go beyond the surface, and go deeper into God.
When you’re ready to find a new way of being…
For every person who has faced a no-way sign on the way to their dreams, WayMaker is your sign, that there is hope, that there are miracles, and that everything you are trying to find a way to, is actually coming to meet you in ways far more fulfilling than you ever imagined.
Grab Your Copy of WayMaker and the WayMaker Group Book Club Study — and begin the journey toward change you’ve been deeply hoping for.
July 29, 2024
Bringing Comfort When Adoption Hurts
As a mother who adopted a child, Cam Lee Small’s story resonates with me. A variety of emotions are present through the adoption journey for the parents and adopted children alike. Today, Cam invites us to see that an adoptee’s journey is a human one. It’s one full of complex emotions that need to be untangled. It’s a process, but comfort can be offered along the journey when we center each of those individual adoptee stories on the adoptees themselves. It’s about helping them be seen and heard and offering space for their stories to be told. It’s a joy to welcome to Cam to the farm’s table today…
Guest Post by Cam Lee Small
“Should I draw my affliction?” an adoptee asked me.
I recently co-facilitated the “Self Esteem” curriculum that’s part of a week-long Korean adoptee culture camp just outside the Twin Cities.
I thought I misheard, “What? Draw your fiction?”
He corrected me, “No, like, my affliction… you know, like, I kinda feel left out wherever I go… where should I draw that?”
My camper wasn’t talking about FOMO kind of “left out.” He was talking about the “You don’t belong here” and “You should go back to where you came from” left out.
Have you ever felt that way?
I don’t think anyone likes to feel left out, wherever they go, no matter how much resilience it seems to produce.
I’m torn. I’m glad he felt invited to ask the question, but I’m heartbroken that he’s had to deal with it by himself.
It’s not that his parents don’t love him or don’t try. It points instead to the fact there are places in his life where he feels affliction, and that something about his experience of transracial international adoption plays a role in that. Currently. Presently.
You might not have to imagine how, as a person of color, growing up in a predominately white environment (and family) may not always be a child’s dream come true.
“The adoptee’s journey is a human one... A person feels in response to something, because we are someone. “
Its’s not the most pleasant idea to think about.
But, when we as a community can be honest the experience exists, and attend to those realities and fictions together, I’m persuaded we’ll begin to see more of these two things (at least):
1. We’ll learn how to draw more of our curiosities and distress into the light; to express and show them to trusted folks who can help, receive help too. [ps: the wisest adoptive parents don’t insist on being the only trusted folks in their adoptee’s corner, they accept support from outside of themselves!]
2. We’ll become increasingly passionate and equipped to address the external conditions that bring more sorrow than relief. Relationally and systemically.
“Every adoptee is experiencing their own kind of story, though. That’s why we need to hear from them.“
That’s not fiction. I’m seeing it happen in real-time. I’m just not convinced it’s enough.
I not convinced it is enough because I know how this feels as an adult adoptee myself.
I was born in Korea, but raised by a family in the United States. Yes, as an adult transracial adoptee with a psychology degree who runs his own practice, I know and understand the grief and trauma that comes along with being an adoptee no matter how loving the adoptive parents are.
The adoptee’s journey is a human one. We’re not just sad, or happy, or angry, or whichever basic emotion seems to appear on the surface. A person feels in response to something, because we are someone. And one of the most intimate ways to love someone is to learn more about them. Spend time with them. Be interested in what they have to say.
Honest, loving dialogue about the adoptee’s journey brings us closer to family, not further. I’m not sure where I’d be if it weren’t for people who were willing to call me into that truth.
Every adoptee is experiencing their own kind of story, though. That’s why we need to hear from them.
So, whether you’re an adoptee or someone who cares about adoptee-specific realities that exist beyond the dominant pictures of adoption we’ve grown up with, would you continue making space for these conversations?
Whether your birth family lives across the street or on the other side of an ocean, by God’s grace we’re invited, and becoming further equipped, to press on for new ways of being together.
“And – that there’s a way to sow comfort in our pictures together, toward a future where anyone who has ever felt left out would find a better place – wherever they go.“
Because love pursues truth. And truth is paired with action (1 John 3:18).
What if there was a trail of humility, kindness, mentorship; baskets of love and hope and peace to shape those moments and seasons? So that wherever they are together, whether it’s on a couch or through mountains and valleys, good things would be present. Yes, truth, but never without with love.
He drew it. The affliction. I’d never seen it represented that way before. Was that the important part?
Maybe. But I simply gave him space and time to draw it. And I saw him. Maybe that’s what he needed. We all need that to some degree, don’t we?
He could add to it someday. So could someone else. Maybe someone helps him take action or he learns to respond to it on his own. I suspect our journeys include some combination of both.
Not for the sake of ruminating on our pain alone, but to assure our neighbors (and be reminded ourselves) that we’re never alone in our pain. And – that there’s a way to sow comfort in our pictures together, toward a future where anyone who has ever felt left out would find a better place – wherever they go.
I hope to see you there.
Cameron Lee Small, MS, LPCC, is a licensed clinical counselor, transracial adoptee, and mental health advocate based in Minneapolis, Minnesota. He was born in Korea and relinquished into foster care at age three. He was then adopted in 1984 to a family in the United States. His private practice, Therapy Redeemed, specializes in the mental health needs of adoptees and their families wherever they may be in their own adoption journey. His work has been featured in Christianity Today, the National Council for Adoption, and the Center for Adoption Support and Education.
The Adoptee’s Journey: From Loss and Trauma to Healing and Empowerment is for the adult adoptee struggling with complex emotions and the practitioners that come alongside to support them. Cameron invites readers to see that every adoption is rooted in loss. Adoption is often framed by happy narratives, but the reality is that many adoptees struggle with unaddressed trauma and issues of identity and belonging. Adoptees often spend the majority of their youth without the language to explore the grief related to adoption or the permission to legitimize their conflicting emotions.
Adoptee and counselor Cameron Lee Small names the realities of the adoptee’s journey,
narrating his own and other adoptees’ stories in all their complexity. He unpacks the history of
how adoption has worked and names how the church influenced adoption practices with
unintended negative impacts on adoptees’ faith. Small’s own tumultuous search for and reunion
with his mother in Korea inspired him to help other adoptees navigate what it means to carry
multiple stories. His adoptee-centered advocacy helps adoptees regain their agency and identity
on a journey of integration and healing, with meaningful relationships in all their family systems.
{ Our humble thanks to IVP for their partnership in today’s devotional.}
July 25, 2024
If You’re Tired: 3 Real Ways to Navigate Uncertain, Polarizing Days
When you stand down at the river, a loud world gets mighty quiet.
Like the mightiness of grace, of God, might actually come in the quiet.
My Grandmother never told me that —
But it’s what I tell the kids a thousand messy times, though they know I’m the one preaching the gospel of the whole shebang to myself:
When you’re worked up, whisper.
“When you’re worked up, whisper.“
It’s how God can usher Himself into a place— ask Elijah.
It’s best parenting practice. It’s best life-survival practice. When the world gets loud, put your ear down to it and listen —and then whisper. When everyone yells, no one can hear.
When the world and you are worked up, whisper — and a pin will drop. The other shoe will drop. Then we can finally get our shoes on, finally get somewhere. Get somewhere better.
The river keeps navigating its complex course.
Keeps rolling out the possibility of another way, a way less travelled, a way through.
My Grandmother and all the wizened ones, they did always say that:
In a loud world — certainty is what sells.
People love the hawkers, the bloggers and big talkers that sell certainty to make things simple. And these are wildly uncertain times where we are all desperate to buy some certainty hook line and sinker.
Desperate to turn on the cranked up experts, click on the screaming headlines — and buy what everybody is shopping for: simple certainty. Certainty sells because we like to take our boxes home — to put complicated and nuanced problems in simple boxes, put the unpredictable future in simple boxes, put different people in simple boxes, put our our own messy life in some neat and simple boxes.
“Truth comes marked with the fullness of grace — or it isn’t Truth.”
Turns out what we want most is someone to just sell us some certainty about who is who, and what is what, so we can have this sense of knowing what’s safe — instead of knowing Who is the Savior who calls us to love in unexpected, dangerous, upside-down ways.
Turns out we want someone to reduce all the narratives to caricatures, give our overwhelmed lives some oversimplified solution, formula, or soundbite, so we can feel the relief of safe — instead of living in the reality of a Savior who calls us to live unsafe so others are literally saved.
We like to buy certainty and take home our little boxes — because we like to check out from really listening to people with different perspectives and simply check off our predictable little boxes.
But the thing is: Truth isn’t found in trite boxes or biting soundbites — Truth’s found in abiding with Christ.
Truth doesn’t come marked as simplicity. Truth comes marked with the fullness of grace — or it isn’t Truth. Truth is a Person and He is the complexity and the empathy and the integrity and the certainty and the supremacy of Christ.
And the river’s wide and deep and strong and long and there are layers to all this water, quiet depths. The travellers and followers and disciples, and we graciously navigate complexity. We acknowledge complexity. A river like this can faithfully carry us Home.
Because the Truth is: We’re not called to carry boxes — we’re called to carry crosses.
Box-carriers want to buy certainty for living. Cross-carriers are about carrying the complexity of living.
“A kind of miracle happens when we don’t label people but love people.“
Box-carriers strain for the power of controlled lives. Cross-carriers surrender to the power of the Christ-life.
Box-carriers box things into simple and easy. Cross-carriers unpack things and sit with the suffering.
It’s only those who carry crosses who can know how there is an intersection of many nuanced and complicated things that bear down heavy on people, so they give people the weightlessness of grace.
We can practice our faith by practicing saying it to those rallying on the other side of things, to those walking this side of the current of things, and those walking that side:
“These are hard days, nothing is easy. You’re doing hard things, how can I make it easier?”
Because especially right now:
All people will know that you are my disciples — not if you label one another, but if you love one another. (John 13:35).
They’ll know you are My disciples if you don’t label the weary, the frustrated, the hurting, the misunderstood, the angry, the people with a different ethnicity, skin colour, culture, or very strong opinion — but if you simply reach out and love them.
What we need right now is less outrage and more outreach.
A kind of miracle happens when we don’t label people but love people.
Because love is ultimately not a trite good feeling, but a steady current of quiet actions that can carry us all toward the ultimate good, and ultimately God.
“Christ-followers don’t need any certainty anyone’s selling — because we have the certainty of Jesus. We have a certainty who saves — who saves us from fear, from worry, from despair, from divisiveness. In uncertain times, we have a certain Hope. Jesus is the only certainty our future needs.“
Love is stubbornly praying for your ‘enemies’ till you see ‘enemies’ are illusions & God is makes everyone into grace in your life; God is making everyone into a friend.
If we knew what current everyone was trying to battle, there isn’t even one person we wouldn’t help fight their current with the current of a Greater Love.
Because our faith is about loving in ways that people from all streams of life are carried by the current of His love — toward Him and Home.
The world changes when we don’t categorize, polarize and demonize people with broad brushstrokes — but when we apologize, empathize, evangelize and prioritize people with these quiet brushes of grace.
Because it turns out: Christ-followers aren’t called to go buy certainty — we’re called to go walk by faith.
Christ-followers don’t need any certainty anyone’s selling — because we have the certainty of Jesus. We have a certainty who saves — who saves us from fear, from worry, from despair, from divisiveness. In uncertain times, we have a certain Hope. Jesus is the only certainty our future needs.
The absolute certainty we have is the Truth of Jesus — and He welcomes us all into the outreach of humble and gracious servant-hearted Faith.
Faith that says we are all just people who are trying, people who are both His good and our bad, and He’s the only One good. Faith that requires His patient love and His merciful understanding and His servant actions and His willingness to suffer with and for the wounded.
A river runs through all the farmland to the east, a river runs through the landscape of all things right now — a certain river of Life and life-giving hope.
On a warm day in summer you can hear the grasshoppers in the long grass along the riverbank.
“What we need right now is less outrage and more outreach.”
And you can hear the pin drop of whisper: Come to Me and drink, all you who are parched for peace & thirsty for unity & looking for the shalom of the Kingdom of God.
The light off the river lights all our faces. Maybe finding stillness, and listening in the quiet right here — there is a hearing, there is a seeing, there is a certain hope —
Maybe the world and every thing we see, maybe it’s all more beautiful in diverse shades of a transforming and outreaching grace.
When you’re looking for a reset, a turn around, a different trajectory…. a real change.
When you’re ready to find a new way of being…
For every person who has faced a no-way sign on the way to their dreams, WayMaker is your sign, that there is hope, that there are miracles, and that everything you are trying to find a way to, is actually coming to meet you in ways far more fulfilling than you ever imagined.
Grab Your Copy of WayMaker and the WayMaker Group Book Club Study — and begin the journey toward change you’ve secretly been hoping for.
July 19, 2024
Living in the Presence of Our Present-Tense God
A career missionary, fulltime sailboat dweller, and grandma to fourteen precious littles, Grace Fox inspires hope, courage, and transformation through God’s Word in audiences around the globe. Her latest book, Names of God: Living Unafraid, invites readers into a faith journey destined for freedom from fear. It’s a joy to welcome Grace to the farm’s front porch today.
Guest Post by Grace Fox
Breakfast had just begun at a conference I was attending near Budapest, Hungary, when the event host approached me, cell phone in hand. His expression said it all.
“It’s your husband,” he remarked as he handed me the phone. My heart knew what Gene was going to say.
Recently my dad’s health had declined after he suffered two massive strokes. When I flew to Alberta to visit him during that time, I faced a most difficult decision. Several months earlier, I’d agreed to a speaking tour in Eastern Europe, and my departure was only days away.
A conference in Hungary for missionary families was my first scheduled stop, and afterward I planned to stay for two days with Diane, an American coworker living in Slovakia. She would then accompany me by train to fulfill nearly a dozen speaking engagements in Poland and Hungary.
Diane had spent hours coordinating these events and arranging accommodations. I had purchased my plane ticket to Budapest, prepared my messages, and sent out handouts for translation. The women’s ministry leaders in each city had handled advertisements and registrations, pouring their best efforts into the details.
Canceling the trip seemed unfair to everyone involved overseas, but what if I made the trip and Dad died before I returned? Yet not being present to celebrate his life and support my mom didn’t seem right either.
After praying for guidance and discussing my concerns with my family, I sensed God telling me to fulfill my commitment overseas. I said goodbye to my father, returned home to pack my suitcase, and cried all the way to the airport. Twelve hours after I landed in Budapest, my dad took his last breath, and Gene phoned to break the sad news.
My worst fears had come true: Dad was gone, and my mother, siblings, husband, and children would celebrate his life without me.
I felt strangely alone in a surreal situation. It was no small ordeal to travel by train in a foreign country, teach the Word and pray with women at each event, visit missionaries in their homes, and sleep in a different bed every night … all while grieving my father’s death.
In retrospect, I don’t even know how I managed to keep it together emotionally and mentally. There was only one explanation: Yahweh Shammah was with me. His compassion comforted me. His hands carried me. His strength empowered me. His presence made all the difference.
As painful as my situation was, it provided a precious opportunity to experience God by his name Yahweh Shammah (pronounced “SHAHM-mah”), which in Hebrew means “The Lord Is There” (Ezekiel 48:35 NLT).
I love that the meaning of Yahweh Shammah is present tense: “The Lord Is There.” It’s not “The Lord Was There,” for that could indicate that his presence has gone away, and nowhere does the Bible say that God checked out after communing with Adam and Eve in the garden of Eden, speaking with Moses on the mountain, protecting Daniel’s buddies in the fiery furnace, or sitting in prison with Paul and Silas and Joseph too.
“God showed up for his people in ages past, and he does the same for us today. He is alive and well and with us everywhere we go.”
On the contrary, God showed up for his people in ages past, and he does the same for us today. He is alive and well and with us everywhere we go: The song lyric that speaks to your heart at precisely the right moment? That’s God’s presence in disguise. The whispered guidance you hear when facing a major decision? The same. The sunrise is his cheery hello, and the sunset splashed across the sky is his goodnight kiss.
When we look for God’s presence, it is unavoidable. King David described it this way: “I can never escape from your Spirit! I can never get away from your presence! If I go up to heaven, you are there; if I go down to the grave, you are there. If I ride the wings of the morning, if I dwell by the farthest oceans, even there your hand will guide me, and your strength will support me” (Psalm 139:7–10 nlt).
Thankfully, neither does the name Yahweh Shammah mean “The Lord Will Be There,” for that would imply he is otherwise occupied and puts our calls for help on hold—or that he’s absent and completely detached from us now but will appear someday in the future to devote himself to us then.
That said, a special day does await when we will experience Yahweh Shammah on a level much different from the present.
As followers of Jesus, we hold fast to the hope of heaven as our future reality, because we believe that all who place their faith in Jesus for salvation will spend eternity with him there (John 3:16; 14:1–3).
What a day that will be when Revelation 21:3 comes to pass: “I heard a loud shout from the throne, saying, ‘Look, God’s home is now among his people! He will live with them, and they will be his people. God himself will be with them’” (nlt).
In the meantime, we live in the present with its celebrations and sorrows. Some days bring laughter, and some bring tears: We pray until our knees wear out, and still the answers don’t come.
We get into trouble trying to fix people or situations beyond our control. The fear of failure keeps us awake at night. The fear of someone exposing our secret addiction or shame prevents us from developing deep and meaningful relationships.
Our insecurities drive a wedge between us and those we love.
These issues and more prove our need for God’s ever-present help today. Hour by hour. This very moment.
Thank goodness The Lord Is There for us when we need him most, because he is Yahweh Shammah—a present-tense God.
Grace and her husband, Gene (a.k.a. “Sailor-Man”), live fulltime in a marina near Vancouver, British Columbia, and co-direct International Messengers Canada, a missionary-sending agency with staff in 30 countries. She has written 14 books, is a member of the First 5 writing team (Proverbs 31 Ministries) and co-hosts the podcast “Your Daily Bible Verse.” She loves fulfilling her God-given assignments, but she also finds great joy in snuggling with her grandchildren, rising early to sip coffee and read her Bible, taking long walks while listening to worship music, and sharing home-baked apple pies and cinnamon rolls with her neighbors.
In her new book, Names of God: Living Unafraid, Grace shares honestly about her faith journey from fear to freedom. She “gets” that the world is an increasingly scary place and the future is uncertain. She understands how one’s life can be altered in a heartbeat. Rather than focusing on the what-ifs and negatives that can paralyze us with fear, she shows how the meaning of seven of God’s names helps set us free. Each session includes biblical and real-life examples that illustrate the power of God’s names; a guided prayer; reflection questions; and video access to more author insights. Ideal for individual and groups, this heartfelt devotional study will draw you closer to God and bolster your courage to live unafraid.
Subscribe to Grace’s inspirational updates and receive printable prayers based on the seven names of God in her book.
{Our humble thanks to Aspire Press for their partnership in today’s devotional.}
July 15, 2024
The Subversive Way of Jesus: Finding the Good Life Where We Least Expect It
My good friend Rich Villodas captures the upside-down way of Jesus—the way of love—like few other writers I know. How often have we assumed that the “narrow path” Jesus offers us is restricting, when it is actually the only way to freedom? How easily do we expect that doing the “right” thing means we are following Jesus’s way, when it is only when our hearts are transformed that we can truly do good in this world? It’s a joy to welcome again the wise and thought-provoking Rich Villodas to the farm’s table today….
Guest Post by Rich Villodas
Have you ever been scuba diving? I haven’t. But—and I say this with more enthusiasm than I should—I have snorkeled a few times, thank you very much.
On an anniversary trip a few years ago, my wife and I looked up various excursions in Hawaii. I did extensive research, hoping to get in touch with the risk-taking part of my personality.
I watched a bunch of scuba videos on YouTube, finding inspiration and giving myself pep talks under my breath. This was short-lived when I found a simple chart outlining the differences between scuba diving and snorkeling.
I learned that scuba diving can cause something called nitrogen narcosis, which is essentially like being drunk underwater. Or your equipment can fail. While diving, you’re also at risk of pulmonary embolism. Yeah, no thanks.
So I decided to snorkel.
The snorkeling excursion went well. I saw a handful of fish at a safe distance and came up for a quick break when I swallowed a bit of water through my tube. I knew a beautiful world awaited me in the depths, but I chose life on the surface, where things felt safe and predictable.
I see a metaphor here for the spiritual life.
Many of us want to go deeper, but we find ourselves spiritually treading water on the surface. We try to live like Christian amphibians—half in, half out—but Jesus wants all of us, or, put differently, to give us all of himself.
He knows nothing of half-hearted discipleship.
“Many of us want to go deeper, but we find ourselves spiritually treading water on the surface.“
Jesus’s invitation is to follow him fully or not at all, using the metaphor of a road: “Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it” (Matthew 7:13–14).
When most people read Jesus’s words about the narrow and the broad paths, it’s through the lens of good morality versus bad morality, or perhaps the afterlife. The narrow path is the path “good” people take; the broad way is the preferred route of “bad” sinners. The narrow path is the avenue toward heaven, while the broad way is the road to hell.
But that outlook is not what Jesus has in mind. When Jesus offers two paths, he’s being clear, not cruel. He’s leading us to life—freeing us from the paralysis of decision fatigue. Because Jesus desires to form us today. He cares about who we are becoming, not just what we do. He rejects a spirituality that doesn’t transform our hearts. To adjust our behavior—even in positive directions—without interior examination will enslave us.
“The narrow path is the avenue toward heaven, while the broad way is the road to hell.”
The broad path is content with believing the “right” things and doing the “right” stuff, assuming that’s all Jesus wants. But a deeper look into our motivations is necessary for cultivating life with God. In other words, we can do all the right things but never examine why or how we should do them.
What is your vision of the good life?
What is your understanding of a good world?
If you’re not sure, look at how you spend your money and time. What are you perpetually chasing? What are your deepest desires and goals? Where does your ambition surface? These questions help show if you’re being formed into the image of Jesus or a copy of the fallen world around you.
Jesus invites you and me to reimagine what a good life truly is. Look at the lives transformed in the Gospels because of Jesus’s alternative road. Observe the freedom that came from his generous forgiveness.
“The narrow path is not about the number of people who will end up in heaven; it’s about the number of people who will allow themselves to be formed by the subversive and, ultimately, redemptive way of Jesus.“
Contemplate those who found solace in him—people who had spent their whole lives feeling spiritually and socially homeless. Picture the multitudes who were healed because of his compassion.
Redefining the good life may seem like a loss at first, but it ultimately yields the kind of significance you yearn for—a life found only on the radically narrow path of Jesus.
The narrow path is not about the number of people who will end up in heaven; it’s about the number of people who will allow themselves to be formed by the subversive and, ultimately, redemptive way of Jesus.
To the world, this path seems rigid, impractical, and uncomfortable (to be sure, it will be at times), but like a sea diver adjusting to the heavy pressure of an underwater existence, if we submit to the process, Jesus will show us a world of wonders we never thought possible!
We can stay on the surface, safe and dry, peering into the water, catching blurry glimpses of the beauty underneath . . . or we can dive in and immerse ourselves in a glorious realm.
Rich Villodas is the author of The Deeply Formed Life (a 2021 Christianity Today Book Award winner) and Good and Beautiful and Kind.
Since 2013, he’s been the lead pastor of New Life Fellowship, a large multiracial church with more than seventy-five countries represented, in Elmhurst, Queens, and Long Island, New York.
His latest book, The Narrow Path, invites us to experience the freedom of walking out Jesus’s subversive way of love.
{Our humble thanks to WaterBrook for their partnership in today’s devotional.}
July 12, 2024
How the Simplest Practices Help Your Family Grow in Jesus
How do we get the wisdom of Scripture to find good soil in the hearts of our little ones? Christie Thomas has discovered that every parent can nurture deep faith roots in their kids through tiny, daily habits, trusting God to do the hardest work of heart change. God can do a lot with our little offerings. It is with grace and love for our little ones we welcome Christie to the farm’s table today…
Guest Post by Christie Thomas
My son and I are curled up in the top bunk, surrounded by piles of stuffed animals and books, doing our bedtime routine.
As we sing our ridiculously long memory verse together, he leans toward my ear and bats his eyelashes. (He thinks it’s hilarious, but I feel like there’s a moth in my ear. Ew.)
He saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit, whom he poured out on us generously through Jesus Christ our Savior, so that, having been justified by his grace, we might become heirs having the hope of eternal life.
“Justified means that God doesn’t see our sins anymore; he sees us through Jesus. That’s what it means to be saved.”
Titus 3:5-7, NIV
There are some awfully big words in that verse, I realize.
What does justified mean, anyway? I decide to explain: “Justified means that God doesn’t see our sins anymore; he sees us through Jesus. That’s what it means to be saved.”
And then I say, “Do you know what you need to do to be saved? Just say, ‘Jesus, I want to be saved!’”
I’m chuckling inside at my simple explanation, but he takes it seriously. A moment later, he tells me, “I just said that to Jesus, in my head!” He giggles, and I notice a new brightness in his eyes. For the first time— without pushing or prompting or pressure— he has made a personal profession of faith.
He’s just a little guy and his understanding of salvation will grow as he grows, but right now, he’s decided to follow Jesus. I give him a squishy cry-hug, and he pats my back in amusement.
In that moment, I am reminded that life-changing moments with our kids can come out of the simple thing we do every day.
I believe that God used my stumbling faithfulness and a simple-but-consistent bedtime habit to bring my son into a true relationship with him. And it all began with starting little.
“…small but consistent habits have the power to crack into a busy routine and change the terrain of my family’s faith.“
Growing up, I went to church at least three times per week: Sunday morning services (plural), Sunday evening, Wednesday night girls club, and, as I got older, Friday night youth group. But while I was raised in a Christian family and spent a lot of time in church, I didn’t have many conversations about God, faith, or the Bible outside of church.
When I got married and started having my own children, I came to an uncomfortable realization: I didn’t know how to have natural conversations about God with them.
From my many years in kids’ ministry, I knew how to teach an engaging Sunday school lesson, write prayer journals and curriculums, and lead someone else’s child to Christ— but did I know how to talk about my faith in daily moments with my husband and kids? Nope.
As I’ve learned how to move from discipling kids in a church context to discipling my own children, God has shown me the power of starting little, both in nature and in my life.
Here on the Canadian prairies, we joke that we only have two seasons: winter and construction— otherwise known as “the making of the potholes” and “the fixing of the potholes.”
“…learning to inhale and exhale the goodness of God in everyday moments, through everyday habits, as God gently leads me step-by-step.“
Through autumn, winter, and spring, small amounts of melted snow find their way into microscopic cracks in the road. Every time the temperature falls below freezing, that water turns into ice. If you’ve ever put a glass container of soup in the freezer, you know what happens when water turns to ice: It expands. Soup freezing in a too- small container can break glass, and water freezing in those cracks in the road can break asphalt. After eight months of the thaw-freeze-thaw-freeze cycle, you end up with huge potholes and cracks in the road.
Just as a few dribbles of water have the power to crack open a solid road, small but consistent habits have the power to crack into a busy routine and change the terrain of my family’s faith.
I know an organic lifestyle of family discipleship is possible because I’ve watched friends for whom every moment of parenting is discipleship, every conversation an opportunity to understand the gospel.
And I have seen my own progress toward this goal: learning to inhale and exhale the goodness of God in everyday moments, through everyday habits, as God gently leads me step-by-step.
I don’t have it all figured out, but I have found a way forward that is full of grace, remains sustainable for my family, and consistently points us back to our good God.
If you’re feeling weighed down and exhausted by all the things you’re supposed to do to teach your children about God, I invite you to discover how tiny faith habits can crack into your own busy routine and change the terrain of your family’s faith too.
Little faith habits are how we plant intentional seeds that will sprout in our kids’ lives—and in our own lives.
But choosing to bless my child, memorize a single verse, or pray the Lord’s prayer on a daily basis isn’t about pretending my child’s faith is dependent on me.
Instead, it’s about being obedient in the small things and letting God do what God does best, turning a small, trembling obedience into something magnificent.
“First steps always seem like not enough, but they are the bravest and they start the journey to where you’re meant to go. It takes great trust to believe in the smallest of beginnings.”
(Ann Voskamp in The Broken Way, page 75)
We want our kids to know God. We know we’re supposed to disciple them. But parenthood is hard, and we’re busy, tired, and often feel unequipped. What if our kids don’t seem all that interested or can’t sit still long enough for us to read the Bible?
If you’re feeling overwhelmed by all the things you’re supposed to do to teach your kids about God, Little Habits, Big Faith: How Simple Practices Help Your Family Grow in Jesus shows you how to leverage the power of small, consistent choices with confidence. God can use even the smallest step to change how your family grows in faith.
Helping connect your kids with God is easier than you think. It all starts with 30 seconds a day- and the power of a simple habit.
Christie Thomas is a mom and writer who has been involved in children’s ministry for most of her life. As a family discipleship coach, Christie deeply believes that every Christian parent can confidently nurture deep faith in their kids through little habits that add up over time. Her devotionals and children’s books help parents cultivate faith-filled moments. She lives with her husband and three boys in Canada. Check out her books, blessing blankets, and other resources at littleshootsdeeproots.com.
{Our humble thanks to NavPress for their partnership in today’s devotional.}
July 11, 2024
How To Have A Better Second Half of Your Life & Your Year
Turns out your second act can turn the whole story around. The second half of the year — or second act or half of your life.
And as long as there’s breath in the lung and any time on the clock, there’s always still time for the dream, for things to change, and there’s no such thing as too late.
Sure, the calendar may say that we’re just now half way through 2024, and who knows what your last birthday cake was saying about where you are in life, but the reality is that you can still all the regrets — because even now there is still time.
Nola Ochs was 95 years old – just shy of a whole century old, having raised 4 sons, had 15 great-grandchildren, and had buried her beloved husband — when she finished her last course, donned gown and cap, and graduated with her bachelor’s degree with an emphasis on history from Fort Hays State University, Kansas in 2007, becoming the oldest university graduate ever. She graduated with one of her granddaughter’s – and then returned to earn her master’s, graduating when she was 98.
Hope doesn’t have an expiry date.
Hope doesn’t have an expiry date.
Gladys Burrill – nicknamed the “Gladyator: – was 92 years old when she grinned and raised crossed the finish line and raised her hands in the giddy joy of becoming the oldest woman ever to complete a marathon.
The hands of the clock cannot tie the hands of your prayers.
Pablo Picasso, at 87, engraved 347 engravings in just one year – that’s almost one engraving every single day for a year, when he’d already out-lived past the average life-expectancy.
Old men and women still get to dream dreams.
Tolkien took more than 12 years to write Lord of the Rings – abandoning writing it for more than a full year – taking another 5 years to publish it, when he was 62 years old.
Success isn’t being fast, success is being faithful.
Success isn’t being fast, success is being faithful.
A tech founder who is 50 is twice as likely to start a successful company as one who is 30.
The time you’ve spent learning what doesn’t work is actually part of the time needed so things work out in the end.
Time is never wasted; time is always soil that’s growing everything that’s needed for the whole story.
True, some proverb gurus may say that the best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago and the second best time is now — but I’m not always so sure that’s true.
First the soil may have needed to be cleared and worked and thoughtfully, over time, nurtured with nutrients and carefully prepared and tended, before that tree could ever be successfully planted and survive.
You may think the best time to plant that dream was 6 months ago at the beginning of the year, or even 25 years ago, but time was needed to grow you in all kinds of ways, so the best time to actually plant the dream is when the soil of your life is surrendered to the way the Spirit moves.
Grace always offers you a second chance and whispers that it begins right now.
There isn’t a second best time to plant the tree. There is only now — and it’s always the best moment because it’s grace. Time isn’t made for regrets; time’s made for possibility and praise.
Yep: Turns out your second act can turn the whole story around. The second act of the year — or second act of your life.
I’m halfway through the first year of my doctorate, and flew a few weeks ago for my first residency on campus. Turns out you can be diagnosed with panic attacks and agoraphobia in your teens – and yet still end up getting on planes and flying to the coast on the other side of the country and walking into a classroom where you don’t know one solitary soul.
Change is possible, when you embrace the God who doesn’t change and can do the impossible.
Turns out you can have ended up dropping out of university at the beginning of your third year when you were just 20, because you were only married a handful of months and were sick green with what turned out to be first trimester (!!) nausea – and yet still end up one day starting your doctorate.
Change is possible, when you embrace the God who doesn’t change and can do the impossible.
All the timelines can change in the hands of a God who holds you and all of time.
Turns out you can have been raised in a non-believing home, and still end up studying for your doctorate of ministry in spiritual formation and soul care because there’s nothing that matters more than the growth and trajectory of one’s soul.
Never focus so much on growing a better life, that you miss out on how God’s growing your soul in the best ways.
In my classes, day after day, I sit beside the most eloquent student, commencing her doctorate in soul care and spiritual formation too – and she’s just turned 76.
Grace always offers you a second chance and whispers that it begins right now.
So how do you change things now? How do you let grace open the door so you can begin now? How do you stop thinking it’s too late and plant the dream and change now?
Never focus so much on growing a better life, that you miss out on how God’s growing your soul in the best ways.
When you want to change, you want a new way of being. Which is to say: You want to become a different kind of creature.
And when you want to discover a new creature, what you do is track it. Because what you track, you begin to understand, you begin to master, you begin to capture. Like any birder, like any animal conservationist — if you want to discover a new creature — you track it.
Which is to say, and I write this down in my journal at the six month mark of the year: if you want to become a new creature, begin tracking things.
Want to pray more? Track it. Want to read more? Track it. Want to move more? Track it.
What you track, takes a better track.
Begin to track your time, and you take a better track with your time. Begin to track how you’re prioritizing that new calling, and you take a better track toward that new calling. Begin to track how you prioritize meditating on God’s Word, and you begin to take a better tact with all the things distracting you from prioritizing God’s Word.
I’m training right now to walk a full marathon, and I daily track sleep and steps – and for my doctorate, I track reading and studying, and for all of life and vocation, I drive in some mile markers for some goals and the reality is:
Track to change trajectory. What you track, takes a better track. Better tracking leads to better trajectories.
Track to change trajectory.
Better tracking leads to better trajectories.
And alternatively: What you don’t track, you don’t have an accurate view of. When you don’t track, you don’t rightly see. You tend to think you’re praying more, reading more, moving more, working more, connecting more, sleeping more — when you don’t track at all.
What you don’t track — you lose track of.
I have a wall of paper, full of goals for 2024, and sure, people can say it’s best to have goals, but just having some goal, doesn’t mean you’re actually scoring any goals.
The only way any athlete scores a goal, is to have a practiced cadence, a tried and true rhythm, to get to the other end and actually score the goal.
It’s consistent rhythms that consistently land the goals.
To-do lists are merely about having goals.
Just having some goal, doesn’t mean you’re actually scoring any goals. It’s consistent rhythms that consistently land the goals.
And it’s blocking out your days into these regular rhythms that creates the cadence and winning rhythms to actually score the goals.
When the year or this season of life is begging for some change, it’s powerful to realize: What’s blocking your way to your goals may be a lack of rhythm blocking. True, some folks call this time blocking, but our times are not very much in our hands, and life can have all kinds of interruptions (that are often Christ-invitations) and while it’s helpful to have time markers for the blocking out the what and when for the day, it’s healthy for the soul to loosely hold the time, and more earnestly hold to the rhythm of the day.
To remove what’s blocking you, start rhythm blocking: Always the bed made first, then the grinding of the coffee while reading today’s Psalm… or always the day’s meal prep after the first cup of coffee, while listening to the day’s Psalm… or always the reading retreat right after lunch… and it’s not so much about what time the clock says, but the rhythm of what always follows what, not so much how long is spent reading or body movement or on the new dream – just that there’s a consistent rhythm for consistently doing it for even 5 minutes a day.
It’s almost wheat harvest here and looking out across the fields of gold from the farm windows, I think about how us farmers, sometimes after the harvest of one crop, in the same season, will turn around and directly plant a second crop. After the wheat comes off, there are years farmers may plant a second crop like soybeans. We will have what we call a double crop year.
All the moments compound. And it’s God who miraculously multiplies all your little loaves moments into sustaining change.
The year isn’t over at the halfway point, life isn’t over at the halfway point — there’s still time to plant a second crop, still time to have a double crop year, a double crop life.
It’s terribly tempting to grossly overestimate what can be done in a day and grossly underestimate what can still be done in the last half of a year. But a year is made up of just moments. And our change and hopes and plans and dreams are just made up of moments. And yes, it’s devastatingly tempting to think that you need a million hard moments at a time to make change happen — when you don’t. You just need one holy moment at a time. All the moments add up.
All the moments compound. And it’s God who miraculously multiplies all your little loaves moments into sustaining change.
Want to memorize a whole chapter of Scripture? Try just one simple verse. Write down on a few sticky notes. Hold on to one verse until it’s holding on to you. All the moments compound. Want to do 50 pushups? Set four reminders throughout the day to do just 5 pushups at a time. All the moments compound. Want the dream home? Declutter for 10 minutes a day — day after day. All the moments compound.
The only thing you really have to get rid of is all or nothing thinking.
The only thing you really have to get rid of is all or nothing thinking.
All or nothing thinking is how you end up with a whole lot less than something.
Change isn’t made of all the things. Change is made of all the small things — again and again.
Big change is made of small reps.
Just put in the small reps. And see how God compounds the rest.
Large dreams are made of little reps.
Just put in the small reps.
And see how God compounds the rest.
In every head of wheat, on every single slender stalk of wheat out across our fields, is just a few small seeds, ready and willing to all matter. The whole harvest comes in just minute seeds.
Minute moments. Minute choices. Minute surrenders.
Because of the grace of One, there’s still time for a second act and a fulfilling double crop.
Coming Up in this Series: What To Do When Your Willpower Doesn’t Have Much Power?
Catch the Last Post in this Series: You’re Just Over 43% Through the Year. There’s Time to Reset Your Year and Do This:
And don’t miss how we started the year: You Need To Save This For When it’s Hard To Keep Going: About Resolutions & Getting Through 2024
When you’re looking for a reset, a turn around, a different trajectory…. a real change.
When you’re ready to find a new way of being…
For every person who has faced a no-way sign on the way to their dreams, WayMaker is your sign, that there is hope, that there are miracles, and that everything you are trying to find a way to, is actually coming to meet you in ways far more fulfilling than you ever imagined.
Grab Your Copy of WayMaker and the WayMaker Group Book Club Study — and begin the journey toward change you’ve secretly been hoping for.
July 8, 2024
From Shame to Grace: Embracing God’s Love in the Midst of All Kinds of Sexual Brokenness
Have you ever experienced the fear and shame that follows the vortex of unwanted sexual behavior like: erotica, promiscuity, or porn sites? You may think you’re alone and feel like hiding. But you’re not alone—and there is hope and healing. The great joy and passion of Dr. Juli Slattery and Dr. Joy Skarka is calling women to God’s gracious power of redemption. It’s a grace to welcome Juli and Joy to the farm’s front porch today…
Guest Posy by Juli Slattery and Joy Skarka of Authentic Intimacy
Sometimes when we hear “sexual sin is bad,” we translate that into “my sexuality is bad.”
God created us as sexual beings. The act of sexual intimacy is a good gift, created to be a celebration within the covenant of marriage.
Your sexual desires are not bad, although they may have been misdirected and twisted by sin. God created you as a woman with longings, hormones, and desires. Having questions and desires about sex is not weird, we just have to learn how to steward them in singleness and marriage.
Understanding sexual temptation begins with understanding why God created sex in the first place. It’s important for you to understand that sexual desire is ultimately rooted in a desire for intimacy.
Over the past decade I (Juli) have interacted with thousands of Christians who struggle with a variety of sexual struggles. I’ve come to this conclusion:
We all carry some level of sexual and relational brokenness.
Maybe you want to be free of porn or erotica. Maybe you have a friend who doesn’t struggle with porn, but she spends hours a day on social media. What she sees on the screen has shaped what she buys and how she interacts with people. You and your friend’s struggle may be different, but it’s also the same. At its most basic level, you don’t have a porn problem; you have an intimacy problem.
While we live in a world that encourages sexual exploration, our culture often sabotages intimacy. We are busy, distracted, and simply move on when relationships become difficult. Social media encourages us to present only the best version of ourselves, making us feel like no one could really love us exactly as we are. Feeling isolated and unlovable, we fall for what can feel like a valid substitution.
“At its most basic level, you don’t have a porn problem; you have an intimacy problem. “
SEX IS OFTEN A SEARCH FOR INTIMACY
In the beginning of my sexual journey, I (Joy) never actually wanted sex. I wanted to feel loved, cherished, and beautiful. I longed for intimacy. For a split second, I would feel loved, but the moment would fade as my boyfriend put on his clothes and walked out the door.
Most women don’t look at porn for porn’s sake. We use pornography because it promises to dull the pain of the past and to make us feel wanted and loved, even for a moment. Our desire to be loved and find love is not a bad thing. God created marriage, romantic love, and sexual desire.
Desiring love is part of our God-given design, but first and foremost God designed us to long for His love.
A WOMAN WHO LONGED FOR LOVE AND ACCEPTANCE
The book of John includes a story of a woman who felt unloved and searched for acceptance and satisfaction in her life. In fact, she may have had a lot in common with a woman today who struggles with porn. Take a few moments to read her story in John 4.
Here is what we know about her:
She was a Samaritan. Samaritans were regarded by most Jewish people as not being true seekers of God. Samaritans and Jews carried racial prejudice against each other.She had five previous husbands. In the ancient Near East culture, women didn’t have the choice to divorce, so this woman likely had been rejected or abandoned by a series of men.She was currently living with a man she wasn’t married to. Again, we don’t know the circumstances that led her to this relationship.She was at the well during the hottest part of the day. It is highly probable that because of her shame, she avoided going to the well when other women would be there.“Desiring love is part of our God-given design, but first and foremost God designed us to long for His love.“
Here is what we know about how Jesus interacted with this woman:
He intentionally lingered by this well while His disciples went off to find something to eat.By talking to her, Jesus broke cultural and racial barriers, showing her dignity and attention. This woman mattered to Jesus. He intentionally stepped into the most vulnerable aspect of her life. She didn’t volunteer the information about her past and current relationships. Jesus spoke this truth about her.He didn’t pile on shame, but offered her the greatest hope. He revealed to this woman that He was the Messiah.He spoke her language by offering her “living water.” Yes, she was physically thirsty, but she had also been relationally thirsty. The water Jesus offered was not physical water, but the water of life-giving love and acceptance. Jesus gave her the opportunity for a relationship with Him and eternal life!
Here was a woman, lonely, isolated, and likely suffocating with sexual shame. Yet when she met Jesus, He knew her fully and loved her completely.
Even though she was a Samaritan and He was a Jew, He looked her in the eyes and showed her compassion.
Picture yourself in her shoes, probably lonely or feeling unloved. She likely had trauma in her past from being abused, divorced, widowed, or abandoned. We don’t know her story, but Jesus did. We do know that she longed for more, for the living water Jesus offered.
What would change in your life if you lived fully satisfied by the Living Water?
Friend, Jesus is the One that you’ve been waiting for in your search for meaning and fulfillment.
Imagine what your life would be like if you actually believed that Jesus’ love could satisfy you.
What if you woke up each morning knowing that no matter what you did today, how you performed, or how you felt, Jesus would still love you?
His love doesn’t change.
He is constant and always pursuing you.
In Her Freedom Journey, Juli and Joy—believing that sexual freedom begins with discipleship—lead you through teaching that is coupled with personal reflection.
In this 8-week combination book and workbook, women will discover freedom from pornography by experiencing the love of God as they address underlying wounds and connect through authentic community.
If you’d like to learn more about the book, or know someone longing their her own FREEDOM JOURNEY, you can read more here.
We would also love to invite you to learn more about our ministry, Authentic Intimacy here.
{Our humble thanks to Moody for their partnership in today’s devotional.}
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