V.R. Tapscott's Blog
February 6, 2023
You Got the Bread, Man?
You know, bread is the bane of any carbohydrate counter.
Of course, that doesn't mean it's not still a favorite. I think most carbohydrate dieters go straight for the bread when they can. Or ice cream. But ice cream is a whole nother subject (see 'A Cool Idea', the Jul 30th, '22 blog)
Cinnamon rolls are my biggest downfall. Or at least, in the bread world, they are. I have many others. 🙂
Any new town I arrive in, I start looking for cinnamon rolls, and try to track where to get the best ones. There are some odd places, sometimes. The secret cinnamon roll place in Wenatchee is Godfather's Pizza, btw. A few months ago, I'd have included Sure to Rise bakery, but now that they're not in Wenatchee anymore, I have to leave them off the list. Of course, they have a location in Cashmere. Just sayin'.
When we go on vacation in Maui, one of the things we look forward to (yes, besides the beach and the fact that it's 40 degrees warmer there than here) is "The Cinnamon Roll Place". Man, they can make cinnamon rolls. And the local folks know it. Sometimes the line stretches out into the parking lot.
So, why is this? Why is bread so important?
Well, I guess it starts out that wheat, being high carbohydrate means it packs a punch for its size. And wheat stores pretty well, and also when you make flour from wheat, that also stores pretty well. For people who needed to survive a winter, having something you could store for months at a time was necessary, since otherwise you only made it halfway through winter before you didn't have to worry about food anymore.
Bread, in its simplest form is pretty much just flour and water. At that point you come up with tortillas, and that's a very nice thing to wrap other things in. Pretty much anything, really. Makes it more portable and adds to the carb count. Which is important when you still have to get out there and work hard on those frozen cold mornings.
Of course, not being ever willing to leave well enough alone, humans started adding stuff to flour and water. Yeast to puff it up, sugar to make it more palatable, different shapes, different ways to cook it.
Back to cinnamon rolls. They've been around a LONG time, and seem to have started out in the Scandinavian countries. Pretty much just a big tortilla (with yeast added) and slop on some topping (butter, brown sugar, raisins for us heathens) and roll it all up in a tube. Then cut it into slices and fit them into a baking pan. Bake, throw some MORE sugar on top in the form of icing and eat. Preferably while it's still warm.
So, where are you getting your cinnamon rolls this morning? You have a favorite place?
Of course, that doesn't mean it's not still a favorite. I think most carbohydrate dieters go straight for the bread when they can. Or ice cream. But ice cream is a whole nother subject (see 'A Cool Idea', the Jul 30th, '22 blog)
Cinnamon rolls are my biggest downfall. Or at least, in the bread world, they are. I have many others. 🙂
Any new town I arrive in, I start looking for cinnamon rolls, and try to track where to get the best ones. There are some odd places, sometimes. The secret cinnamon roll place in Wenatchee is Godfather's Pizza, btw. A few months ago, I'd have included Sure to Rise bakery, but now that they're not in Wenatchee anymore, I have to leave them off the list. Of course, they have a location in Cashmere. Just sayin'.
When we go on vacation in Maui, one of the things we look forward to (yes, besides the beach and the fact that it's 40 degrees warmer there than here) is "The Cinnamon Roll Place". Man, they can make cinnamon rolls. And the local folks know it. Sometimes the line stretches out into the parking lot.
So, why is this? Why is bread so important?
Well, I guess it starts out that wheat, being high carbohydrate means it packs a punch for its size. And wheat stores pretty well, and also when you make flour from wheat, that also stores pretty well. For people who needed to survive a winter, having something you could store for months at a time was necessary, since otherwise you only made it halfway through winter before you didn't have to worry about food anymore.
Bread, in its simplest form is pretty much just flour and water. At that point you come up with tortillas, and that's a very nice thing to wrap other things in. Pretty much anything, really. Makes it more portable and adds to the carb count. Which is important when you still have to get out there and work hard on those frozen cold mornings.
Of course, not being ever willing to leave well enough alone, humans started adding stuff to flour and water. Yeast to puff it up, sugar to make it more palatable, different shapes, different ways to cook it.
Back to cinnamon rolls. They've been around a LONG time, and seem to have started out in the Scandinavian countries. Pretty much just a big tortilla (with yeast added) and slop on some topping (butter, brown sugar, raisins for us heathens) and roll it all up in a tube. Then cut it into slices and fit them into a baking pan. Bake, throw some MORE sugar on top in the form of icing and eat. Preferably while it's still warm.
So, where are you getting your cinnamon rolls this morning? You have a favorite place?
January 1, 2023
AI - or 'what's in a human'?
https://electrikink.com/ai-or-whats-i...
Happy New Year - again!
Any of you that have read Jane's adventures knows that a lot of the sub-stories revolve around Olive's pursuit of being more and more human, and of course, the trouble she runs into as she does become more human.
But more and more lately, we're seeing AI in the news. Now, I don't know for sure if AI is the threat it sounds like it could be. In Jane's world, it's not much of a problem, but of course that's because she has Olive and company to fix things.
More on a current timeline, though, is the simple concern that we'll be left behind as artificially intelligent creatures begin to make art. Like writing books and making fine digital paintings. I haven't seen any AI sculptors or the like, but I'm sure it's not that far behind if, indeed, we do come out with something happening in that direction.
As Olive, Jean and Jess have found, however, being human is more than simply knowing how to answer simple questions.
Being human requires a learning of the pain, agony, joy and rapture that comes along with it. Jane warns Olive that being human is painful. It takes another book or two for Olive to really begin to understand what Jane's talking about.
As you may or may not know, I do my own book editing. That means I have to go over practically every word in each of my books multiple times to see if what I said was not only what I meant, but will carry what I meant to you, the reader. Obviously, sometimes I fail in that, sometimes I succeed.
But, mostly what I'm looking at is that those words, those sentences, paragraphs and entire books are weighed against my human thoughts. When my grammar software kicks up a complaint about a 'comma splice', I have to make a decision as to whether I needed to break the rules in that sentence to deliver the exact flavor I wanted to convey.
Every comma, every period, every word in that book has been weighed against delivering exactly the story I started out to write.
I can promise you now that as we are at this time, and into the foreseeable future, AI won't be able to make those visceral choices.
Even Olive couldn't, at least as she was 'born'.
Now, once Olive has lived a lifetime, or even a few decades, of being human? Well, at that point, she probably IS human.
Let's meet back here in 10 years and see if ChatGPT is human yet, eh?
Happy New Year - again!
Any of you that have read Jane's adventures knows that a lot of the sub-stories revolve around Olive's pursuit of being more and more human, and of course, the trouble she runs into as she does become more human.
But more and more lately, we're seeing AI in the news. Now, I don't know for sure if AI is the threat it sounds like it could be. In Jane's world, it's not much of a problem, but of course that's because she has Olive and company to fix things.
More on a current timeline, though, is the simple concern that we'll be left behind as artificially intelligent creatures begin to make art. Like writing books and making fine digital paintings. I haven't seen any AI sculptors or the like, but I'm sure it's not that far behind if, indeed, we do come out with something happening in that direction.
As Olive, Jean and Jess have found, however, being human is more than simply knowing how to answer simple questions.
Being human requires a learning of the pain, agony, joy and rapture that comes along with it. Jane warns Olive that being human is painful. It takes another book or two for Olive to really begin to understand what Jane's talking about.
As you may or may not know, I do my own book editing. That means I have to go over practically every word in each of my books multiple times to see if what I said was not only what I meant, but will carry what I meant to you, the reader. Obviously, sometimes I fail in that, sometimes I succeed.
But, mostly what I'm looking at is that those words, those sentences, paragraphs and entire books are weighed against my human thoughts. When my grammar software kicks up a complaint about a 'comma splice', I have to make a decision as to whether I needed to break the rules in that sentence to deliver the exact flavor I wanted to convey.
Every comma, every period, every word in that book has been weighed against delivering exactly the story I started out to write.
I can promise you now that as we are at this time, and into the foreseeable future, AI won't be able to make those visceral choices.
Even Olive couldn't, at least as she was 'born'.
Now, once Olive has lived a lifetime, or even a few decades, of being human? Well, at that point, she probably IS human.
Let's meet back here in 10 years and see if ChatGPT is human yet, eh?
December 24, 2022
Jane’s Christmas 2022
From my blog at https://electrikink.com/janes-christm...
Olive and I wandered through the snow-covered city of Leavenworth, WA. Looking left and right, the entire area was a riot of color. Lights of all shapes and sizes blazed from the bushes, the trees, the rooftops. Even the people. Many of them were wearing ropes or single LEDs proclaiming the holiday season.
We’d stopped in at Icicle Coffee and Chocolates for some hot chocolate and I have to admit I grabbed some fudge. Because, well, it’s fudge. I’ll hit the gym twice today.
They’d gotten a big dump of snow last night, but the skies had cleared and the temperature was in the mid-thirties. It was definitely warm enough to sit on a bench and watch humanity go by. Sunset was early at this time of year and the temperature heads down fast in the evening, but since the whole idea was to have hot chocolate and other sugary stuff it was what we were looking for.
Also, we were still getting over the bumpy patch we’d hit earlier this summer. In addition to that, Olive never had told me what it was that she and Bailey were doing together. It made me really curious!
Olive said, “Nope.”
I looked at her. “What?”
“I know what you’re thinkin and nope.”
I sighed. “Sometimes it’d be nice if you turned off that all knowing part. Most humans don’t have that, you know.”
Complacently, she said, “I know. But I never said I was striving to be a perfect human, just a human.”
We sat back again and sipped our chocolate.
I tried again, “But …”
“Nope. Hey, look at that snowman over there!”
I couldn’t resist. And I did have to say that it was impressive. Someone had a giant snowman inflatable in the back of their giant Chevy truck.
“Y’know, we could put a big reindeer or Santa in the back of Jerry the Jeep II. He might like it, and since he’s bright red, it’s even fitting! We could string some evergreen garlands along the sides and … “
She held up a hand. “You don’t think that’s going a little too far?”
I laughed. “Going too far? Compared to actually hanging lighted candles on your tree inside your house, it’s pretty tame. I bet if the Pilgrims would have had inflatable Nativity Scenes, they’d have been all over it.”
She raised an eyebrow. “Really?”
“Mm. Well, probably not. But it does make me reconsider the Santa in the back of Jerry and think about putting a nativity instead.”
She gave me a half grin. “You think Jesus would approve?”
I took her question seriously. “Maybe. Jesus was a pretty cool dude. He was pretty heavy into letting people be who they were without a lot of judgment as to who they’d been.”
Olive nodded. “Yeah, I guess. It’s kind of the centerpiece of the Christian religion. Speaking of trees inside, why in the world DO you cut down a tree and bring it inside? Just love the idea of a portable fire hazard?”
I smirked. “No, of course not. Although, we did watch Christmas Vacation the other day and that was a reminder of how to go overboard at decorating. You’ll notice I have a very tasteful display at home.”
Olive remarked, “Huh. The evergreens inside were actually to bring goodness and protection to the house, and in some countries reminded them that spring would come and that things still were green and growing. Well, except for the ones they brought in and hung up.”
“I thought you didn’t know what it was!”
“Well, I didn’t until I Googled it.”
“Of course, o Oracle of Dell.”
Olive smirked. “You like that, don’t you?”
“Yeah, I thought it was funny.”
“So, what else do humans do at Christmas that make you wonder about our sanity?”
She gave me a look. “One word. Pickle.”
“Pickle? Is that a sex joke or something?”
“Heh. No, but I could make something up if you want.”
I snorted. “No, that’s fine. But - what about the pickle?”
“Well, some say it’s a time-honored German tradition, but stories seem to vary as to its origins. It’s worth looking it up if you’re interested, but right now people tend to hide a pickle ornament somewhere in the tree, and the first person who finds it gets a neat gift! Or maybe they get an extra pancake or open a gift first. At any rate, it’s something interesting to add to your traditions!”
“Ok, I’ll put a pickle ornament on my list. I bet the Santa shop here has one.”
She nodded. “Yeah, looks like most stores have ‘em.”
I looked around. “Olive, it’s getting cold. Let’s go home and see what’s up. I have an idea for something to do before everyone gets there!”
“Gonna get your pickle first?”
“Oh, yeah.”
We wandered along the street and sure enough, the first little store along the way had a pickle ornament. I realized I’d seen them before, but didn’t know what they were.
Olive’s elevator showed up in a small alcove between buildings and we popped out in my living room. Handy thing to have, a Wonka elevator.
I got a fake tree a few years ago, and it’s nice to have it there ready. I guess it’s not as likely to bring spring feelings as a real one, but it never dies, so there’s that. I hung the pickle way back inside the tree, and being green it was pretty hard to see.
“Olive, do you ever watch Seinfeld?”
“Meh, I have a few times. Why?”
“Well, they have a thing they call the Festivus celebration. And honestly, I thought it was kind of gruesome how they present it. But I had an idea for a Festive Us celebration! See what I did there?”
Ever patient (hah!) Olive shrugged. “Why?”
“Why what?”
“Well, why did you want a Festive Us celebration?”
“‘Cause I want it to be festive! And I thought we could do a celebration of getting rid of the bad things. See, the Seinfeld one is to give people a chance to yell at each other about whatever they kept in and didn’t yell about during the year. And I don’t really keep things in, I kinda just let it all go by. But wouldn’t it be fun to have a, something like a tiny firepit and we could roast marshmallows on it, and then write down the things that made us sad or mad last year and throw them on the fire? Notes to God, maybe. Or to the spirit of smoke, or who knows. But it gets it out there, and maybe gets it out of us and leaves us Festive!”
Olive nodded. “I can do that. About big enough for the center of the coffee table?”
“Uh huh! That’d be fabulous!”
She smiled. “Look at the coffee table, Jane.”
I still can’t get over how they do that, but she’d made a little fire pit surrounded by (fireproof, I hope!) evergreen boughs. It already had a fire in it, so I glomped into the kitchen to get some marshmallows, crackers and chocolate. I need to test it to make sure it’s working - wouldn’t want anyone disappointed, you know.
The door opened about as I got the stuff on the table. Guess I won’t be beta-testing the fire alone after all.
Bailey’s voice came ringing down the hallway, “Merry Christmas!”
Olive and I echoed her greeting, and she came into the living room. “Oh, hey, nice fire!”
I grinned. “Yup, Olive made it. Literally. I was about to try making a s’more. Join us?”
We all sat and grabbed some skewers. We skewered some innocent marshmallows and put them over the fire.
Funny, isn’t it? How many different things there are to be opinionated about? Personally, I like my marshmallow just gently golden brown around the whole thing. Olive liked hers about the same, only a couple shades darker, and Bailey - she was one of those scary people who like theirs burnt black!
We forgave her though, as we all assembled our s’mores and chomped down.
The door opened again, and there was much boot stomping. Jess and Jean came in the door. I was a little shocked to see Jean out and around, she’s about as likely to spend much time among humanity as, well, getting a perfectly tanned marshmallow, but here she was walking in the door like it was every day!
“Hi guys! You been out shopping?”
Jess grinned. “Yeah, I dragged Jean out. It started out totally against her will, but by the time we got back, she kinda liked it.”
Jean was making head-shaking motions behind Jess’s back, but I could tell from the sparkle in her eyes that she’d really had fun.
I thought about that for a second and said, “You know, you should think about making a room for yourself downstairs, Jean. I realized earlier today that I don’t even know where you live and it made me a little sad.”
Her eyes got round and she said, “A room for me? All my own?”
I smiled. “Yes, all your own.”
The smile ran away from her face and her customary nervousness reappeared. “I’ll think about it. But thank you.”
I nodded. To the rest of them I said, “Hey, anyone got some mistletoe? I’m pretty sure Dale and James will be here soon and I want a reason to kiss them.”
Bailey made a face. “Oh, yeah? Making a move on my boyfriend?”
“Uh huh, pretty much.”
Jean said, “I don’t understand. Why would mistletoe make you want to kiss someone else’s boyfriend?”
I looked at Olive. “O Oracle of Dell, lend us your wisdom?”
“Well, it looks like the whole mistletoe thing might have started in Greece, but no one knows for sure. One of the things they mention is that it grows in the winter and it’s green, and that makes it an attractive thing to have around the house. Anyhow, rest assured that if you see it hanging, you have license to kiss anyone under it. Although results vary as to the size of the lump on your head if someone takes exception to your attentions.”
I grinned. “You sound like Wikipedia, Olive.”
She smirked back. “My new career.”
More clattering and banging in the hallway and shortly Dale and James appeared. They were hauling bags and boxes and looking weighed down and adorable. All of us descended on the guys and helped get the stuff inside.
I smoochied on Dale but with no mistletoe up I kept my affections to James at hug level. I’m so happy Bailey has found someone worthy of her!
Dale said, “The hunters have returned, when do we eat?”
I laughed. “As soon as we get it all laid out. And when one more person gets here. Mom and Cai are in China with Cai’s family. He’s so excited to have finally made up with his son, this will be his first Christmas with them in years. Cai’s a little in love with American traditions and he has a Christmas celebration, although it’s mostly secular as an excuse for gift giving.”
James remarked, “One more person?”
“Uh huh, I think Georgia will be here. Debbie’s off at her in-laws, so we won’t be seeing her.”
There was more clattering in the hallway, and then Georgia’s voice came sailing in with her usual greeting of, “Can someone help me with my stuff?”
Both guys fell over themselves getting down the hallway, and shortly Georgia came in dressed in a stunning and even somewhat skin-covering outfit. Although, with Georgia that was still pretty skimpy. Her porters trailed along behind with her extensive luggage.
Bailey grinned. “I see your fans helped with your bags.”
Georgia winked. “Yeah. Sometimes it’s nice being me.”
I was looking around at all the people, thinking how different my life was now than it had been. We had people wandering around the living room, the kitchen. Olive had started a fire in the fireplace and it was so beautiful.
I sidled up to her and said, “Thanks for doing that living room expansion. We sure needed it, didn’t we?”
She smirked. “I told you it was a good idea.”
I hugged her. “Yes, you did. Thanks for always looking out for me, Olive.”
“Well, somebody has to since you never do!”
I poked her and then hugged her. “Yup.”
That taken care of, we assembled the feast, all of us pitching in. The dining room table was overloaded with pies, ham and all the rest. Of course, we also had nacho makings. Wouldn’t want to upset tradition!
We were milling around the table gathering our food when I heard someone coming up from the basement. I looked around, then frowned. “I wonder who that could be?”
About then Olive topped the basement stairs with mom in tow.
I gasped. “Mom, I thought you were in Tibet!”
She smiled. “It’s Christmas and Olive was kind enough to elevator me here. You promised me Christmases from now on. Remember?”
I nodded. “Of course, I just didn’t expect you…”
She looked stricken for a moment, then came over and hugged me. “I’m sorry, little one.”
I took a breath. “I’m sorry too, mama.” For maybe the first time, I truly hugged her back.
Everyone around the table let out their breath. James said, “Well, I’m eating. Anyone with me?”
That took the pressure off and we all started talking and circulating. We gathered our plates and sank into the big couch and the chairs around the fire. We roasted marshmallows and ate till no one really wanted to eat anymore.
Looking around, I had to smile. There’s nothing that makes you feel better than having friends and family gathered around. A warm fire, and warm hearts.
I stood up and smiled around at everyone. I raised my glass and offered a toast, “The Happiest of Happy Holidays!”
There was a chorus of returns as all my friends and even my mom raised their glasses in salute. “Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!”
Watch for Part 2 coming Christmas 2023!
I wish you all the best of holidays, wherever and whatever you celebrate!
V.R. Tapscott
December 24th, 2022.
Olive and I wandered through the snow-covered city of Leavenworth, WA. Looking left and right, the entire area was a riot of color. Lights of all shapes and sizes blazed from the bushes, the trees, the rooftops. Even the people. Many of them were wearing ropes or single LEDs proclaiming the holiday season.
We’d stopped in at Icicle Coffee and Chocolates for some hot chocolate and I have to admit I grabbed some fudge. Because, well, it’s fudge. I’ll hit the gym twice today.
They’d gotten a big dump of snow last night, but the skies had cleared and the temperature was in the mid-thirties. It was definitely warm enough to sit on a bench and watch humanity go by. Sunset was early at this time of year and the temperature heads down fast in the evening, but since the whole idea was to have hot chocolate and other sugary stuff it was what we were looking for.
Also, we were still getting over the bumpy patch we’d hit earlier this summer. In addition to that, Olive never had told me what it was that she and Bailey were doing together. It made me really curious!
Olive said, “Nope.”
I looked at her. “What?”
“I know what you’re thinkin and nope.”
I sighed. “Sometimes it’d be nice if you turned off that all knowing part. Most humans don’t have that, you know.”
Complacently, she said, “I know. But I never said I was striving to be a perfect human, just a human.”
We sat back again and sipped our chocolate.
I tried again, “But …”
“Nope. Hey, look at that snowman over there!”
I couldn’t resist. And I did have to say that it was impressive. Someone had a giant snowman inflatable in the back of their giant Chevy truck.
“Y’know, we could put a big reindeer or Santa in the back of Jerry the Jeep II. He might like it, and since he’s bright red, it’s even fitting! We could string some evergreen garlands along the sides and … “
She held up a hand. “You don’t think that’s going a little too far?”
I laughed. “Going too far? Compared to actually hanging lighted candles on your tree inside your house, it’s pretty tame. I bet if the Pilgrims would have had inflatable Nativity Scenes, they’d have been all over it.”
She raised an eyebrow. “Really?”
“Mm. Well, probably not. But it does make me reconsider the Santa in the back of Jerry and think about putting a nativity instead.”
She gave me a half grin. “You think Jesus would approve?”
I took her question seriously. “Maybe. Jesus was a pretty cool dude. He was pretty heavy into letting people be who they were without a lot of judgment as to who they’d been.”
Olive nodded. “Yeah, I guess. It’s kind of the centerpiece of the Christian religion. Speaking of trees inside, why in the world DO you cut down a tree and bring it inside? Just love the idea of a portable fire hazard?”
I smirked. “No, of course not. Although, we did watch Christmas Vacation the other day and that was a reminder of how to go overboard at decorating. You’ll notice I have a very tasteful display at home.”
Olive remarked, “Huh. The evergreens inside were actually to bring goodness and protection to the house, and in some countries reminded them that spring would come and that things still were green and growing. Well, except for the ones they brought in and hung up.”
“I thought you didn’t know what it was!”
“Well, I didn’t until I Googled it.”
“Of course, o Oracle of Dell.”
Olive smirked. “You like that, don’t you?”
“Yeah, I thought it was funny.”
“So, what else do humans do at Christmas that make you wonder about our sanity?”
She gave me a look. “One word. Pickle.”
“Pickle? Is that a sex joke or something?”
“Heh. No, but I could make something up if you want.”
I snorted. “No, that’s fine. But - what about the pickle?”
“Well, some say it’s a time-honored German tradition, but stories seem to vary as to its origins. It’s worth looking it up if you’re interested, but right now people tend to hide a pickle ornament somewhere in the tree, and the first person who finds it gets a neat gift! Or maybe they get an extra pancake or open a gift first. At any rate, it’s something interesting to add to your traditions!”
“Ok, I’ll put a pickle ornament on my list. I bet the Santa shop here has one.”
She nodded. “Yeah, looks like most stores have ‘em.”
I looked around. “Olive, it’s getting cold. Let’s go home and see what’s up. I have an idea for something to do before everyone gets there!”
“Gonna get your pickle first?”
“Oh, yeah.”
We wandered along the street and sure enough, the first little store along the way had a pickle ornament. I realized I’d seen them before, but didn’t know what they were.
Olive’s elevator showed up in a small alcove between buildings and we popped out in my living room. Handy thing to have, a Wonka elevator.
I got a fake tree a few years ago, and it’s nice to have it there ready. I guess it’s not as likely to bring spring feelings as a real one, but it never dies, so there’s that. I hung the pickle way back inside the tree, and being green it was pretty hard to see.
“Olive, do you ever watch Seinfeld?”
“Meh, I have a few times. Why?”
“Well, they have a thing they call the Festivus celebration. And honestly, I thought it was kind of gruesome how they present it. But I had an idea for a Festive Us celebration! See what I did there?”
Ever patient (hah!) Olive shrugged. “Why?”
“Why what?”
“Well, why did you want a Festive Us celebration?”
“‘Cause I want it to be festive! And I thought we could do a celebration of getting rid of the bad things. See, the Seinfeld one is to give people a chance to yell at each other about whatever they kept in and didn’t yell about during the year. And I don’t really keep things in, I kinda just let it all go by. But wouldn’t it be fun to have a, something like a tiny firepit and we could roast marshmallows on it, and then write down the things that made us sad or mad last year and throw them on the fire? Notes to God, maybe. Or to the spirit of smoke, or who knows. But it gets it out there, and maybe gets it out of us and leaves us Festive!”
Olive nodded. “I can do that. About big enough for the center of the coffee table?”
“Uh huh! That’d be fabulous!”
She smiled. “Look at the coffee table, Jane.”
I still can’t get over how they do that, but she’d made a little fire pit surrounded by (fireproof, I hope!) evergreen boughs. It already had a fire in it, so I glomped into the kitchen to get some marshmallows, crackers and chocolate. I need to test it to make sure it’s working - wouldn’t want anyone disappointed, you know.
The door opened about as I got the stuff on the table. Guess I won’t be beta-testing the fire alone after all.
Bailey’s voice came ringing down the hallway, “Merry Christmas!”
Olive and I echoed her greeting, and she came into the living room. “Oh, hey, nice fire!”
I grinned. “Yup, Olive made it. Literally. I was about to try making a s’more. Join us?”
We all sat and grabbed some skewers. We skewered some innocent marshmallows and put them over the fire.
Funny, isn’t it? How many different things there are to be opinionated about? Personally, I like my marshmallow just gently golden brown around the whole thing. Olive liked hers about the same, only a couple shades darker, and Bailey - she was one of those scary people who like theirs burnt black!
We forgave her though, as we all assembled our s’mores and chomped down.
The door opened again, and there was much boot stomping. Jess and Jean came in the door. I was a little shocked to see Jean out and around, she’s about as likely to spend much time among humanity as, well, getting a perfectly tanned marshmallow, but here she was walking in the door like it was every day!
“Hi guys! You been out shopping?”
Jess grinned. “Yeah, I dragged Jean out. It started out totally against her will, but by the time we got back, she kinda liked it.”
Jean was making head-shaking motions behind Jess’s back, but I could tell from the sparkle in her eyes that she’d really had fun.
I thought about that for a second and said, “You know, you should think about making a room for yourself downstairs, Jean. I realized earlier today that I don’t even know where you live and it made me a little sad.”
Her eyes got round and she said, “A room for me? All my own?”
I smiled. “Yes, all your own.”
The smile ran away from her face and her customary nervousness reappeared. “I’ll think about it. But thank you.”
I nodded. To the rest of them I said, “Hey, anyone got some mistletoe? I’m pretty sure Dale and James will be here soon and I want a reason to kiss them.”
Bailey made a face. “Oh, yeah? Making a move on my boyfriend?”
“Uh huh, pretty much.”
Jean said, “I don’t understand. Why would mistletoe make you want to kiss someone else’s boyfriend?”
I looked at Olive. “O Oracle of Dell, lend us your wisdom?”
“Well, it looks like the whole mistletoe thing might have started in Greece, but no one knows for sure. One of the things they mention is that it grows in the winter and it’s green, and that makes it an attractive thing to have around the house. Anyhow, rest assured that if you see it hanging, you have license to kiss anyone under it. Although results vary as to the size of the lump on your head if someone takes exception to your attentions.”
I grinned. “You sound like Wikipedia, Olive.”
She smirked back. “My new career.”
More clattering and banging in the hallway and shortly Dale and James appeared. They were hauling bags and boxes and looking weighed down and adorable. All of us descended on the guys and helped get the stuff inside.
I smoochied on Dale but with no mistletoe up I kept my affections to James at hug level. I’m so happy Bailey has found someone worthy of her!
Dale said, “The hunters have returned, when do we eat?”
I laughed. “As soon as we get it all laid out. And when one more person gets here. Mom and Cai are in China with Cai’s family. He’s so excited to have finally made up with his son, this will be his first Christmas with them in years. Cai’s a little in love with American traditions and he has a Christmas celebration, although it’s mostly secular as an excuse for gift giving.”
James remarked, “One more person?”
“Uh huh, I think Georgia will be here. Debbie’s off at her in-laws, so we won’t be seeing her.”
There was more clattering in the hallway, and then Georgia’s voice came sailing in with her usual greeting of, “Can someone help me with my stuff?”
Both guys fell over themselves getting down the hallway, and shortly Georgia came in dressed in a stunning and even somewhat skin-covering outfit. Although, with Georgia that was still pretty skimpy. Her porters trailed along behind with her extensive luggage.
Bailey grinned. “I see your fans helped with your bags.”
Georgia winked. “Yeah. Sometimes it’s nice being me.”
I was looking around at all the people, thinking how different my life was now than it had been. We had people wandering around the living room, the kitchen. Olive had started a fire in the fireplace and it was so beautiful.
I sidled up to her and said, “Thanks for doing that living room expansion. We sure needed it, didn’t we?”
She smirked. “I told you it was a good idea.”
I hugged her. “Yes, you did. Thanks for always looking out for me, Olive.”
“Well, somebody has to since you never do!”
I poked her and then hugged her. “Yup.”
That taken care of, we assembled the feast, all of us pitching in. The dining room table was overloaded with pies, ham and all the rest. Of course, we also had nacho makings. Wouldn’t want to upset tradition!
We were milling around the table gathering our food when I heard someone coming up from the basement. I looked around, then frowned. “I wonder who that could be?”
About then Olive topped the basement stairs with mom in tow.
I gasped. “Mom, I thought you were in Tibet!”
She smiled. “It’s Christmas and Olive was kind enough to elevator me here. You promised me Christmases from now on. Remember?”
I nodded. “Of course, I just didn’t expect you…”
She looked stricken for a moment, then came over and hugged me. “I’m sorry, little one.”
I took a breath. “I’m sorry too, mama.” For maybe the first time, I truly hugged her back.
Everyone around the table let out their breath. James said, “Well, I’m eating. Anyone with me?”
That took the pressure off and we all started talking and circulating. We gathered our plates and sank into the big couch and the chairs around the fire. We roasted marshmallows and ate till no one really wanted to eat anymore.
Looking around, I had to smile. There’s nothing that makes you feel better than having friends and family gathered around. A warm fire, and warm hearts.
I stood up and smiled around at everyone. I raised my glass and offered a toast, “The Happiest of Happy Holidays!”
There was a chorus of returns as all my friends and even my mom raised their glasses in salute. “Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!”
Watch for Part 2 coming Christmas 2023!
I wish you all the best of holidays, wherever and whatever you celebrate!
V.R. Tapscott
December 24th, 2022.
December 3, 2022
Filtering Life
From my Facebook Page:
I don't really get music, I have to admit.
I mean, I know what it is, I know certain songs, I LIKE certain songs, but music doesn't seem to be required in my life.
The example I gave someone the other day was that I made a CD that has the soundtracks (all legally bought, btw) from the various World of Warcraft versions over the past 18 years. I have that ONE cd that plays in my work vehicle when I'm in it. And has for years. So, you can see my musical breadth is not that great. 🙂
It just makes me think of the fact of how many different things we all live on. How many different mindsets we have, each of us only knowing our own internal world and having no real experience with anyone else's beyond what we can glean from our interactions with them.
And of course, each of those interactions are viewed through the lens of OUR life. Each thing that a person does is weighed against what WE would do in that situation. And often, THEY are found wanting.
Try to remember that every person out there is the hero of their own story. Let's try hard not to cut the legs out from under their own fragile framework that's keeping them aloft.
Some stories are very small and can't survive much of a beating from the outside. It's not a victory for you to win over someone who's smaller than you.
Choose to carry someone today. To bring someone up. To help someone along. It's likely their path is much rockier than you realize.
I don't really get music, I have to admit.
I mean, I know what it is, I know certain songs, I LIKE certain songs, but music doesn't seem to be required in my life.
The example I gave someone the other day was that I made a CD that has the soundtracks (all legally bought, btw) from the various World of Warcraft versions over the past 18 years. I have that ONE cd that plays in my work vehicle when I'm in it. And has for years. So, you can see my musical breadth is not that great. 🙂
It just makes me think of the fact of how many different things we all live on. How many different mindsets we have, each of us only knowing our own internal world and having no real experience with anyone else's beyond what we can glean from our interactions with them.
And of course, each of those interactions are viewed through the lens of OUR life. Each thing that a person does is weighed against what WE would do in that situation. And often, THEY are found wanting.
Try to remember that every person out there is the hero of their own story. Let's try hard not to cut the legs out from under their own fragile framework that's keeping them aloft.
Some stories are very small and can't survive much of a beating from the outside. It's not a victory for you to win over someone who's smaller than you.
Choose to carry someone today. To bring someone up. To help someone along. It's likely their path is much rockier than you realize.
October 31, 2022
Happy Halloween! (A bonus Lacey & Alex Halloween Story)
From my blog at https://electrikink.com/happy-hallowe...
Protection Racket - A Stevie Story
Stevie sighed once again as she wandered the aisles at Home Despot, looking for some final bit of gear that would make this project just come out perfect. She rifled through some pistols, took a shot at grabbing a new set of targets, and finally just gunned it down to the checkout stand. Of course, there it was, sitting amongst the impulse-buy Leatherman clones and the gummi bears - just the cutest little spy cam, clearanced at less than $300. A steal for the price, and the final touch for her plan.
The only thing that took the edge off her delight was worry over Lacey, and of course, Alex. But in the intervening time, she’d learned to push all that down and cover it up with work, work, and more work. Like right now, the project she was pushing at.
Once she got to the job site she started stringing wire. Not that it was as simple as just stringing wire, it all had to be perfectly camouflaged and blend in with the surrounding paint and markings. Stevie was quite an artist at making those final tiny adjustments to the decor, even hand painting shadows and color variations over the tiny bits of exposed vinyl. Everything in its place, and thinking carefully of the wire and not the girl.
Chortling, she set the camera positions and the lasers to expose any miscreants to a sudden barrage of light. Nothing truly harmful, of course, but definitely it would make them blink until someone came and took care of them. To say nothing of it scaring the crap out of them.
Never one to just let things go, Stevie completely surrounded the place with a whole new network of fine wires. She realized that she could go wireless, but her experience with going wireless was about the same as going braless - a concept to consider and make the odd experiment with, but in the end, some things are just best not approached. Wireless had let her down a couple times, and when it’s crucial, you just needed to make sure you had the support you needed. She snickered to herself a bit at this, suddenly overwhelmed by sadness that she couldn’t share this feeling, this joke, this silliness, with Lacey. She’d only really gotten to know Lacey the slightest amount, but that’s all it had taken for her to be completely bowled over.
And .. she sighed again. Just stop it.
Besides, she had another kettle of fish to fry, or whatever it was you did with a kettle of fish. Did you fry them? Generally, you’d think of a kettle as being a pot. Would you boil them? And then she realized she was mixing metaphors again, and almost cried to realize at the same time .. never mind.
She reminded herself to keep her eyes on the prize. She had a job to do here, getting this wiring done and the camera setup done, the lights all had to be tested, the lasers targeted, and by now she only had about 12 hours. No one was going to wait for her to finish, she had to be ready by the time darkness fell.
She unpacked the pair of small 9mm Gatling guns and deployed them carefully around the edges of the eaves. She cut precise holes in the fascia boards leading to the attic crawl space, later she’d make sure the ammo belts would feed smoothly through and make sure the cameras watching them were hooked in and working. It wouldn’t do to run out of ammo and not know about it! Getting the guns connected to the network and calibrated was another couple hours and it was getting late afternoon by the time she was satisfied.
The next couple hours were spent on the rubber bullet/pepper load ammo belts, getting the laser arrays set up and tested, and the lights, of course. The lights were an integral part of the plan, shock and awe was uppermost in her intent.
She vamoosed back to her hidey hole and relaxed behind the array of monitors that made up her favorite place in the world. The robot delivered her one of its usual perfect drinks, and she sat there watching the cameras. It made her a little nervous not being able to actually test the guns, but the noise in the middle of the neighborhood at 4pm would be a little too much to pass off as anything else but what it was.
She got busy, though, on setting up the laser sights and getting them trained along the various entry points, especially along the walk and the front entryway. She tested the lights and nearly pee’d her pants with delight, seeing the equivalent of a small sun come to life before her eyes. Darkness began to fall and she knew the time was near.
This year, she was prepared.
Those little bastards were not smashing her Jack O’Lanterns THIS year.
Protection Racket - A Stevie Story
Stevie sighed once again as she wandered the aisles at Home Despot, looking for some final bit of gear that would make this project just come out perfect. She rifled through some pistols, took a shot at grabbing a new set of targets, and finally just gunned it down to the checkout stand. Of course, there it was, sitting amongst the impulse-buy Leatherman clones and the gummi bears - just the cutest little spy cam, clearanced at less than $300. A steal for the price, and the final touch for her plan.
The only thing that took the edge off her delight was worry over Lacey, and of course, Alex. But in the intervening time, she’d learned to push all that down and cover it up with work, work, and more work. Like right now, the project she was pushing at.
Once she got to the job site she started stringing wire. Not that it was as simple as just stringing wire, it all had to be perfectly camouflaged and blend in with the surrounding paint and markings. Stevie was quite an artist at making those final tiny adjustments to the decor, even hand painting shadows and color variations over the tiny bits of exposed vinyl. Everything in its place, and thinking carefully of the wire and not the girl.
Chortling, she set the camera positions and the lasers to expose any miscreants to a sudden barrage of light. Nothing truly harmful, of course, but definitely it would make them blink until someone came and took care of them. To say nothing of it scaring the crap out of them.
Never one to just let things go, Stevie completely surrounded the place with a whole new network of fine wires. She realized that she could go wireless, but her experience with going wireless was about the same as going braless - a concept to consider and make the odd experiment with, but in the end, some things are just best not approached. Wireless had let her down a couple times, and when it’s crucial, you just needed to make sure you had the support you needed. She snickered to herself a bit at this, suddenly overwhelmed by sadness that she couldn’t share this feeling, this joke, this silliness, with Lacey. She’d only really gotten to know Lacey the slightest amount, but that’s all it had taken for her to be completely bowled over.
And .. she sighed again. Just stop it.
Besides, she had another kettle of fish to fry, or whatever it was you did with a kettle of fish. Did you fry them? Generally, you’d think of a kettle as being a pot. Would you boil them? And then she realized she was mixing metaphors again, and almost cried to realize at the same time .. never mind.
She reminded herself to keep her eyes on the prize. She had a job to do here, getting this wiring done and the camera setup done, the lights all had to be tested, the lasers targeted, and by now she only had about 12 hours. No one was going to wait for her to finish, she had to be ready by the time darkness fell.
She unpacked the pair of small 9mm Gatling guns and deployed them carefully around the edges of the eaves. She cut precise holes in the fascia boards leading to the attic crawl space, later she’d make sure the ammo belts would feed smoothly through and make sure the cameras watching them were hooked in and working. It wouldn’t do to run out of ammo and not know about it! Getting the guns connected to the network and calibrated was another couple hours and it was getting late afternoon by the time she was satisfied.
The next couple hours were spent on the rubber bullet/pepper load ammo belts, getting the laser arrays set up and tested, and the lights, of course. The lights were an integral part of the plan, shock and awe was uppermost in her intent.
She vamoosed back to her hidey hole and relaxed behind the array of monitors that made up her favorite place in the world. The robot delivered her one of its usual perfect drinks, and she sat there watching the cameras. It made her a little nervous not being able to actually test the guns, but the noise in the middle of the neighborhood at 4pm would be a little too much to pass off as anything else but what it was.
She got busy, though, on setting up the laser sights and getting them trained along the various entry points, especially along the walk and the front entryway. She tested the lights and nearly pee’d her pants with delight, seeing the equivalent of a small sun come to life before her eyes. Darkness began to fall and she knew the time was near.
This year, she was prepared.
Those little bastards were not smashing her Jack O’Lanterns THIS year.
October 29, 2022
Jane's Halloween 2021 (Part 3 of 3)
From my blog at https://electrikink.com/janes-hallowe...
Chapter 3
The Main Event
We made our way through the straggly grass and stepped into the viney area that was the pumpkin patch. The ground was cold and a little damp, and I didn’t much like the idea of sitting in the dirt. I magicked us a couple chairs. I was getting more used to doing this kind of thing, but it still felt kind of weird, and I avoided it mostly, feeling like it was cheating to simply control life. I mean, what fun would that be? We spent a lot of time in Arla’s world, partly because it was mostly out of our control, and it being her story we didn’t know what was coming.
It started getting dark, finally, and Olive came up with a couple warm coats hidden among the pumpkins.
Finally, the star of the show, Linus showed up. It was pretty dark by then, but I guess he knew what he was doing. Technically I suppose the star of the show would be the Great Pumpkin, but for me it was kind of a bit-player. Linus was the one I was here to see.
Year after year, the strips always progressed from season to season, but no one ever got any older and that was held out, Linus being exactly the same looking as he was any other time. He had on a heavy coat and pants and was obviously ready to spend another night in a cold, slightly musty pumpkin grove.
He waved and smiled at us. “Hi, you here to see the Great Pumpkin?”
I have to admit that I admired him a lot. He had to be aware of all the years of disappointment behind him in never seeing the Great Pumpkin, but he never let on that he’d expect anything but that it would show up.
I nodded. “Yup, thought we’d keep you company this year. I’m Jane and this is Olive. It’s great to meet you, Linus.”
His cheer slipped a little, and he said, “It’s nice to have company. It’s pretty cold and dark here, later.”
Smiling, I said, “We’ll all be warmer when the Great Pumpkin shows up, though, right?”
He looked at me, a little too searchingly for the presumed five year old he was, but simply said, “Yes, that’s right. I’m looking forward to it!”
He sat in the little chair that was more or less a twin of the ones we were sitting in, and began his vigil. He didn’t seem to be too interested in conversation and Olive and I didn’t know what to talk about with a five year old. Although, considering the thoughts and opinions of the Peanuts gang through the years, we probably could have talked about world politics and the possibility of peace in the Middle East, or the price of tea in China. Or even what the heck an occasional table really is.
It got darker and colder. We all hunched in around ourselves, pulling our coats tight. I noticed at some point our shorts became pants and I smiled at Olive.
At the stroke of midnight, there was a rustle in the vines. And no, I’m not going there.
Olive and l looked up, having been a little mesmerized by the darkness. A deep voice with a smile in it said, “Ah, this is truly a sincere pumpkin patch. And thank you for being so faithful all these years, Linus! And Jane, and my friend Olive - I’ve always been a fan.”
It rose into the air, a giant pumpkin with tendrils from the top wrapped around a giant bag actually bigger than it was. From the top of the bag, several items popped out, one landing at each of our feet, and with that the pumpkin rose and dwindled into the distance.
A sleepy voice, from Linus’s direction. “Wha...what? Did someone say something?”
Olive and I were sitting in the living room, snarfing popcorn and watching TV. I sighed. “I guess you can’t really change history after all, can you?”
She smiled and hugged me. “There’s always next year, Jane. We can try again.”
Nodding, I said, “Yup. We sure can.”
Chapter 3
The Main Event
We made our way through the straggly grass and stepped into the viney area that was the pumpkin patch. The ground was cold and a little damp, and I didn’t much like the idea of sitting in the dirt. I magicked us a couple chairs. I was getting more used to doing this kind of thing, but it still felt kind of weird, and I avoided it mostly, feeling like it was cheating to simply control life. I mean, what fun would that be? We spent a lot of time in Arla’s world, partly because it was mostly out of our control, and it being her story we didn’t know what was coming.
It started getting dark, finally, and Olive came up with a couple warm coats hidden among the pumpkins.
Finally, the star of the show, Linus showed up. It was pretty dark by then, but I guess he knew what he was doing. Technically I suppose the star of the show would be the Great Pumpkin, but for me it was kind of a bit-player. Linus was the one I was here to see.
Year after year, the strips always progressed from season to season, but no one ever got any older and that was held out, Linus being exactly the same looking as he was any other time. He had on a heavy coat and pants and was obviously ready to spend another night in a cold, slightly musty pumpkin grove.
He waved and smiled at us. “Hi, you here to see the Great Pumpkin?”
I have to admit that I admired him a lot. He had to be aware of all the years of disappointment behind him in never seeing the Great Pumpkin, but he never let on that he’d expect anything but that it would show up.
I nodded. “Yup, thought we’d keep you company this year. I’m Jane and this is Olive. It’s great to meet you, Linus.”
His cheer slipped a little, and he said, “It’s nice to have company. It’s pretty cold and dark here, later.”
Smiling, I said, “We’ll all be warmer when the Great Pumpkin shows up, though, right?”
He looked at me, a little too searchingly for the presumed five year old he was, but simply said, “Yes, that’s right. I’m looking forward to it!”
He sat in the little chair that was more or less a twin of the ones we were sitting in, and began his vigil. He didn’t seem to be too interested in conversation and Olive and I didn’t know what to talk about with a five year old. Although, considering the thoughts and opinions of the Peanuts gang through the years, we probably could have talked about world politics and the possibility of peace in the Middle East, or the price of tea in China. Or even what the heck an occasional table really is.
It got darker and colder. We all hunched in around ourselves, pulling our coats tight. I noticed at some point our shorts became pants and I smiled at Olive.
At the stroke of midnight, there was a rustle in the vines. And no, I’m not going there.
Olive and l looked up, having been a little mesmerized by the darkness. A deep voice with a smile in it said, “Ah, this is truly a sincere pumpkin patch. And thank you for being so faithful all these years, Linus! And Jane, and my friend Olive - I’ve always been a fan.”
It rose into the air, a giant pumpkin with tendrils from the top wrapped around a giant bag actually bigger than it was. From the top of the bag, several items popped out, one landing at each of our feet, and with that the pumpkin rose and dwindled into the distance.
A sleepy voice, from Linus’s direction. “Wha...what? Did someone say something?”
Olive and I were sitting in the living room, snarfing popcorn and watching TV. I sighed. “I guess you can’t really change history after all, can you?”
She smiled and hugged me. “There’s always next year, Jane. We can try again.”
Nodding, I said, “Yup. We sure can.”
October 22, 2022
Jane's Halloween 2021 (Part 2 of 3)
From my blog at https://electrikink.com/janes-hallowe...
Chapter 2
“Toons.” - Eddie Valiant
We stepped through into a whole different world. The sun was shining, and I could actually see it hovering up there. It was just a big circle with light coming out of it, but nothing that was too bright to look at. The landscape was pretty well evenly lit all across the board. And that was kind of a literal board, since there wasn’t much detail in the scenery. There were scraggly bits of grass, and here and there a tree or two.
Olive was a pretty close match for her regular skin color, her hair its usual sculpted-to-her-skull look. Her black tee shirt was a simple black tee without her usual wry commentary. She wore black shorts and the effect was carried to her shoes - black. It was echoed in me, or what I could see. My usual pale skin with a few speckly freckles, white tee shirt, black shorts and white shoes.
“Not a lot of detail here, Olive.”
She shrugged. “Charlie didn’t do much in the landscape department, his cartoons were about people and interactions. A lot like you, Jane.”
“What are you trying to say?”
She wandered off in the direction of the sidewalk. “Nothing. C’mon.”
I came on, and we stopped at a brick wall. I realized that both the brick wall was short, and I was too.
“Hey, I’m a kid!”
Olive said, “There are only kids in these stories. Remember that Miss Othmar was never seen. Even in the cartoon TV shows, she was just a disembodied voice.”
“Uh huh. We got everything we needed from the one side of the conversation. Gee, just like real life.”
Olive made with the googly eyes, “I always listen to you!”
“I rest my case.” I stuck my tongue out at her and she returned the favor, so that still worked, even in cartoon world.
We sauntered along the sidewalk, passing a kid-sized baseball field. Across the field, I could see the school building, its angular lines simple but somehow still making a building.
A bell rang and kids came pouring out. A few glanced our way, probably wondering why we weren’t in school with them. There were quite a few kids, and it was something of a surprise. I always kind of felt that the world here would be populated by the few Peanuts characters and nothing else. I guess it’s a real town.
After the school, we arrived at a little residential area, and behind one of the houses, I could see Snoopy’s doghouse complete with Snoopy!
I pointed and poked Olive. “Think I should ask him for his autograph?”
She grinned. “I guess it would be one way of seeing if he really can understand people talk.”
I chickened out, tromping through someone’s front yard into their back yard and asking their dog for an autograph might be a little rude even in a cartoon world. It would be a real downer to get yelled at by a cartoon parent that you never knew existed, too!
A couple houses down, we saw something of a vacant lot and a cluster of vines with some pretty good-sized pumpkins growing.
“You think that that’s the pumpkin patch, or would it be in Linus’s yard?”
Olive shrugged. “I doubt it’s Linus’s yard. I mean, how many people would have a big enough pumpkin patch to hide a pumpkin god?”
“A pumpkin god?”
“Well, I suppose. Although, Charlie was a pretty strong Christian so it’s probably a metaphor of some kind.”
I considered a minute. “Come to think of it, I remember reading an article someplace about Charles saying it was more Santa than God. Which kind of makes sense, distributing toys to good kids.”
“I think we’re done beating this horse to death, aren’t we? I thought you just wanted to make Linus happy.”
I smirked at her. “I’m famous for over-thinking.”
“You’re not famous, Jane.”
“You like me anyhow, Olive.”
I could see her struggling with a smile, but it broke free and came out. “Yeah. I do.”
Looking around, I said, “Well, I guess the best thing to do is just go sit in the pumpkin patch and wait for dark.”
“Good thing for you I made it October 31st, otherwise you’d have a long, cold wait.”
I bopped her. “It would have been kind of silly to make it anything else BUT Halloween, right? I mean, that was the point of the exercise.”
Chapter 2
“Toons.” - Eddie Valiant
We stepped through into a whole different world. The sun was shining, and I could actually see it hovering up there. It was just a big circle with light coming out of it, but nothing that was too bright to look at. The landscape was pretty well evenly lit all across the board. And that was kind of a literal board, since there wasn’t much detail in the scenery. There were scraggly bits of grass, and here and there a tree or two.
Olive was a pretty close match for her regular skin color, her hair its usual sculpted-to-her-skull look. Her black tee shirt was a simple black tee without her usual wry commentary. She wore black shorts and the effect was carried to her shoes - black. It was echoed in me, or what I could see. My usual pale skin with a few speckly freckles, white tee shirt, black shorts and white shoes.
“Not a lot of detail here, Olive.”
She shrugged. “Charlie didn’t do much in the landscape department, his cartoons were about people and interactions. A lot like you, Jane.”
“What are you trying to say?”
She wandered off in the direction of the sidewalk. “Nothing. C’mon.”
I came on, and we stopped at a brick wall. I realized that both the brick wall was short, and I was too.
“Hey, I’m a kid!”
Olive said, “There are only kids in these stories. Remember that Miss Othmar was never seen. Even in the cartoon TV shows, she was just a disembodied voice.”
“Uh huh. We got everything we needed from the one side of the conversation. Gee, just like real life.”
Olive made with the googly eyes, “I always listen to you!”
“I rest my case.” I stuck my tongue out at her and she returned the favor, so that still worked, even in cartoon world.
We sauntered along the sidewalk, passing a kid-sized baseball field. Across the field, I could see the school building, its angular lines simple but somehow still making a building.
A bell rang and kids came pouring out. A few glanced our way, probably wondering why we weren’t in school with them. There were quite a few kids, and it was something of a surprise. I always kind of felt that the world here would be populated by the few Peanuts characters and nothing else. I guess it’s a real town.
After the school, we arrived at a little residential area, and behind one of the houses, I could see Snoopy’s doghouse complete with Snoopy!
I pointed and poked Olive. “Think I should ask him for his autograph?”
She grinned. “I guess it would be one way of seeing if he really can understand people talk.”
I chickened out, tromping through someone’s front yard into their back yard and asking their dog for an autograph might be a little rude even in a cartoon world. It would be a real downer to get yelled at by a cartoon parent that you never knew existed, too!
A couple houses down, we saw something of a vacant lot and a cluster of vines with some pretty good-sized pumpkins growing.
“You think that that’s the pumpkin patch, or would it be in Linus’s yard?”
Olive shrugged. “I doubt it’s Linus’s yard. I mean, how many people would have a big enough pumpkin patch to hide a pumpkin god?”
“A pumpkin god?”
“Well, I suppose. Although, Charlie was a pretty strong Christian so it’s probably a metaphor of some kind.”
I considered a minute. “Come to think of it, I remember reading an article someplace about Charles saying it was more Santa than God. Which kind of makes sense, distributing toys to good kids.”
“I think we’re done beating this horse to death, aren’t we? I thought you just wanted to make Linus happy.”
I smirked at her. “I’m famous for over-thinking.”
“You’re not famous, Jane.”
“You like me anyhow, Olive.”
I could see her struggling with a smile, but it broke free and came out. “Yeah. I do.”
Looking around, I said, “Well, I guess the best thing to do is just go sit in the pumpkin patch and wait for dark.”
“Good thing for you I made it October 31st, otherwise you’d have a long, cold wait.”
I bopped her. “It would have been kind of silly to make it anything else BUT Halloween, right? I mean, that was the point of the exercise.”
October 14, 2022
Jane’s Halloween 2021 (Part 1 of 3 parts)
From my blog at https://electrikink.com/janes-hallowe...
Chapter 1
All the World’s a Stage
Olive and I were sitting in the living room, snarfing popcorn and watching TV. It being near Halloween, we’d decided on some holiday related cartoons, the real classics. Which means we wound up watching, among other things, “It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown”. One of my favorites, but I always feel a little sad thinking about poor Linus sitting out there in the cold, dark pumpkin patch.
Olive looked at me. She knows me, and I’m beginning to understand just how much. It’s taken me a while to really see that, but I accept it now. I also keep poking at her, trying to get her to tell my future, but she’s been pretty steadfast in denying me, just a few tantalizing bits here and there have slipped out.
“We could fix this, you know.”
I glanced over at her. “Fix what?”
She pointed at the screen. “Linus.”
I snorted. “You can’t fix Linus, he’s a cartoon character and he’s probably copyright protected out the ying yang.”
She rolled her eyes at me, something that’s so built in to her that I don’t even know where to go with it. “I don’t mean change him, I mean, give him the Great Pumpkin.”
Staring at her, I had to admit it sounded a little interesting.
“You mean, like make a pumpkin patch that actually has a Great Pumpkin scarecrow or something?”
She shook her head. “Jane, you’re still thinking like this is the normal world. Remember, this is a simulation that you completely control.” She looked around the room and sighed. “And here we sit watching TV. We need to take your ship and jet out to the Asteroids and have dinner with Arla. Or something.”
Thinking about it more, I said, “So, you mean actually have the whole thing come true. Linus actually sits waiting and the Great Pumpkin rises?”
“Yeah. I mean, you’d probably have to spawn another instance of a world off your existing world, kind of like Kit did with his little prison world. You’d give it cartoon characteristics and …”
I could see the moment when I lost her to thought, and she turned off her voice processors to put her entire concentration on it. I sat back and watched some more classic cartoons. After a surprisingly long time, she came back. Like seven minutes later, which is an eternity to a fast computer. Or maybe it’s just a simulation of a fast computer. All these worlds in worlds are confusing!
Olive had a look on her face like she’d just eaten the the cat with the canary inside. Mm... no, that’s not a very good metaphor. But you get the idea.
“Ok, all set.”
I blinked. “All set?”
“Yeah, I have us a place.”
Flabbergasted, I blinked at her again. “What?”
She smirked. “You’re so cute when you’re confused, Jane. I’ve built a world, a cartoon world. It’s right next door, wanna explore?”
I whined, “I wanna watch the end of this show!”
She rolled her eyes again and punched me in the shoulder.
I said, “Owww! Ok, you talked me into it, what do we do?”
Chapter 1
All the World’s a Stage
Olive and I were sitting in the living room, snarfing popcorn and watching TV. It being near Halloween, we’d decided on some holiday related cartoons, the real classics. Which means we wound up watching, among other things, “It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown”. One of my favorites, but I always feel a little sad thinking about poor Linus sitting out there in the cold, dark pumpkin patch.
Olive looked at me. She knows me, and I’m beginning to understand just how much. It’s taken me a while to really see that, but I accept it now. I also keep poking at her, trying to get her to tell my future, but she’s been pretty steadfast in denying me, just a few tantalizing bits here and there have slipped out.
“We could fix this, you know.”
I glanced over at her. “Fix what?”
She pointed at the screen. “Linus.”
I snorted. “You can’t fix Linus, he’s a cartoon character and he’s probably copyright protected out the ying yang.”
She rolled her eyes at me, something that’s so built in to her that I don’t even know where to go with it. “I don’t mean change him, I mean, give him the Great Pumpkin.”
Staring at her, I had to admit it sounded a little interesting.
“You mean, like make a pumpkin patch that actually has a Great Pumpkin scarecrow or something?”
She shook her head. “Jane, you’re still thinking like this is the normal world. Remember, this is a simulation that you completely control.” She looked around the room and sighed. “And here we sit watching TV. We need to take your ship and jet out to the Asteroids and have dinner with Arla. Or something.”
Thinking about it more, I said, “So, you mean actually have the whole thing come true. Linus actually sits waiting and the Great Pumpkin rises?”
“Yeah. I mean, you’d probably have to spawn another instance of a world off your existing world, kind of like Kit did with his little prison world. You’d give it cartoon characteristics and …”
I could see the moment when I lost her to thought, and she turned off her voice processors to put her entire concentration on it. I sat back and watched some more classic cartoons. After a surprisingly long time, she came back. Like seven minutes later, which is an eternity to a fast computer. Or maybe it’s just a simulation of a fast computer. All these worlds in worlds are confusing!
Olive had a look on her face like she’d just eaten the the cat with the canary inside. Mm... no, that’s not a very good metaphor. But you get the idea.
“Ok, all set.”
I blinked. “All set?”
“Yeah, I have us a place.”
Flabbergasted, I blinked at her again. “What?”
She smirked. “You’re so cute when you’re confused, Jane. I’ve built a world, a cartoon world. It’s right next door, wanna explore?”
I whined, “I wanna watch the end of this show!”
She rolled her eyes again and punched me in the shoulder.
I said, “Owww! Ok, you talked me into it, what do we do?”
October 8, 2022
Speaking of Smelling
From my blog at https://electrikink.com/speaking-of-s...
Ever think about what goes into smelling?
It’s an interesting question, really. I mean, the human nose is very sensitive to different types of smells. I mean, really sensitive. And there’s thousands of little nodes that do the detecting.
It’s kind of weird to think about, but smells are just chunks of stuff floating around in the air. Of course, the chunks are so tiny as to be completely invisible, but that’s why filtration can remove smells from the air. It’s removing the bits and chunks of smelly stuff. Obviously smells are smaller than dust and require a finer filter.
So, you breathe in some chunks of smell, they hit the olfactory sensory neurons which are located up high inside your nose. Those smell sensors are hooked up directly to the brain, so smelling is a pretty high priority.
I suppose that makes sense from an evolutionary standpoint. I mean, smelling a predator before it grabs you, or smelling a bad food fast enough to keep from eating it. Or, come to think of it, a fast-food bad enough.
But I digress. The chunks of smell go up the nose and into the nasal passages. Interestingly enough, you have another nose in your mouth! The back of the throat has a direct channel up to the nose, and it helps you taste your food. Taste and smell are combined and that explains why things don’t taste so good when you can’t smell them. I suppose, again from an evolutionary standpoint, that having taste and smell so closely bonded was to keep you from eating something rotten that would kill you. Handy stuff, eh?
Interestingly enough, some of the most potent memories are brought about by smells. Ever been someplace and smelled a smell and all the sudden you were transported back years to some event in your life? A smell of cinnamon rolls and baking and all the sudden you’re remembering the time your sister and you made cinnamon rolls when she came visiting many many years ago. Certain aftershaves or colognes that make you think of certain people. I have an odd one - the body wash that I love the smell of even though it reminds me of the high school locker room showers. Odd that I never liked having to shower in public, but that memory is still there.
So, spend your day wandering around smelling things today. Fall is in the air, just close your eyes and breathe in the memories.
And go ahead - have that pumpkin spice latte.
Ever think about what goes into smelling?
It’s an interesting question, really. I mean, the human nose is very sensitive to different types of smells. I mean, really sensitive. And there’s thousands of little nodes that do the detecting.
It’s kind of weird to think about, but smells are just chunks of stuff floating around in the air. Of course, the chunks are so tiny as to be completely invisible, but that’s why filtration can remove smells from the air. It’s removing the bits and chunks of smelly stuff. Obviously smells are smaller than dust and require a finer filter.
So, you breathe in some chunks of smell, they hit the olfactory sensory neurons which are located up high inside your nose. Those smell sensors are hooked up directly to the brain, so smelling is a pretty high priority.
I suppose that makes sense from an evolutionary standpoint. I mean, smelling a predator before it grabs you, or smelling a bad food fast enough to keep from eating it. Or, come to think of it, a fast-food bad enough.
But I digress. The chunks of smell go up the nose and into the nasal passages. Interestingly enough, you have another nose in your mouth! The back of the throat has a direct channel up to the nose, and it helps you taste your food. Taste and smell are combined and that explains why things don’t taste so good when you can’t smell them. I suppose, again from an evolutionary standpoint, that having taste and smell so closely bonded was to keep you from eating something rotten that would kill you. Handy stuff, eh?
Interestingly enough, some of the most potent memories are brought about by smells. Ever been someplace and smelled a smell and all the sudden you were transported back years to some event in your life? A smell of cinnamon rolls and baking and all the sudden you’re remembering the time your sister and you made cinnamon rolls when she came visiting many many years ago. Certain aftershaves or colognes that make you think of certain people. I have an odd one - the body wash that I love the smell of even though it reminds me of the high school locker room showers. Odd that I never liked having to shower in public, but that memory is still there.
So, spend your day wandering around smelling things today. Fall is in the air, just close your eyes and breathe in the memories.
And go ahead - have that pumpkin spice latte.
October 1, 2022
Clouds Illusions
From my blog posted at https://electrikink.com/clouds-illusi...
As the song speaks about clouds illusions, and of course I can’t say much more than that to keep copyright from kicking up its ugly head, it makes me think about how we look at things.
When we look at clouds from the ground, we see shapes and sizes, mostly flat. We see grindstones. We see hamburger buns, and tall castles in the air. We see every manner of strange being. I spent several minutes last week watching a dragon flying by on its back. It was quite a cute little dragon. I suppose it was just an illusion, though.
When we fly high enough in the air to be looking down at the clouds, we often see quite a different aspect of them. And when we actually fly our huge airliner into a cloud, we realize that the clouds are spectacularly enormous - our plane that keeps us safely sealed inside an aluminum tube is miniscule in comparison to a cloud.
Yes, yes, I know you can’t wait to hear what I’m really writing about since by now if you’ve been paying attention you know it’s not what I start writing about that I’m actually getting at.
So. People. Joni talks about love being different from ‘both sides’ too. And she’s no doubt talking about people, since we mostly love people. Or at least we love people enough to be troubled by both sides of them.
I think that everyone has the public and the private aspect of themselves, some that they present to strangers and some they present to friends. It’s rather sad, isn’t it, that the more a friend you are the less pleasant our persona is to spend time with?
I don’t really mean that from a negative way. But we have to know someone pretty well before we’ll interact with them in a way that exposes OUR selves to them.
I’m sure you know what I mean. For instance, I’d never answer the phone with a “What do YOU want” without knowing it was a good enough friend to think it was funny. We grade our external personality with the degree of respect we have for other people.
Obviously there are exceptions, you usually don’t engage in silly banter with your boss. But maybe that’s just the exception that proves the rule. No matter how well you might know your boss, in general you still present only the most public of public personas to the boss. I mean, after all, you want them to maintain their illusion of you being a good productive employee, and the best way to do that is to continue to present your best self.
On the other hand, people you love and care for deeply - you have very little interest in putting out the effort to be ‘nice’ to them. You interact with them in such an honest way that it would sound downright insulting to someone who didn’t know you. Someone who was used to you presenting the mask of social perfection.
So, at least from this standpoint, the less respect that someone treats you with, the more likely it is that they hold you in the highest esteem. Most of us would never say something hurtful to someone that might take it as serious. If you’re willing to tell jokes at their expense, it’s probably the highest compliment you could give anyone.
It says, I trust you. I’ll expose my heart to you.
And there’s always the still small voice inside that says, “Please don’t hurt me.”
As the song speaks about clouds illusions, and of course I can’t say much more than that to keep copyright from kicking up its ugly head, it makes me think about how we look at things.
When we look at clouds from the ground, we see shapes and sizes, mostly flat. We see grindstones. We see hamburger buns, and tall castles in the air. We see every manner of strange being. I spent several minutes last week watching a dragon flying by on its back. It was quite a cute little dragon. I suppose it was just an illusion, though.
When we fly high enough in the air to be looking down at the clouds, we often see quite a different aspect of them. And when we actually fly our huge airliner into a cloud, we realize that the clouds are spectacularly enormous - our plane that keeps us safely sealed inside an aluminum tube is miniscule in comparison to a cloud.
Yes, yes, I know you can’t wait to hear what I’m really writing about since by now if you’ve been paying attention you know it’s not what I start writing about that I’m actually getting at.
So. People. Joni talks about love being different from ‘both sides’ too. And she’s no doubt talking about people, since we mostly love people. Or at least we love people enough to be troubled by both sides of them.
I think that everyone has the public and the private aspect of themselves, some that they present to strangers and some they present to friends. It’s rather sad, isn’t it, that the more a friend you are the less pleasant our persona is to spend time with?
I don’t really mean that from a negative way. But we have to know someone pretty well before we’ll interact with them in a way that exposes OUR selves to them.
I’m sure you know what I mean. For instance, I’d never answer the phone with a “What do YOU want” without knowing it was a good enough friend to think it was funny. We grade our external personality with the degree of respect we have for other people.
Obviously there are exceptions, you usually don’t engage in silly banter with your boss. But maybe that’s just the exception that proves the rule. No matter how well you might know your boss, in general you still present only the most public of public personas to the boss. I mean, after all, you want them to maintain their illusion of you being a good productive employee, and the best way to do that is to continue to present your best self.
On the other hand, people you love and care for deeply - you have very little interest in putting out the effort to be ‘nice’ to them. You interact with them in such an honest way that it would sound downright insulting to someone who didn’t know you. Someone who was used to you presenting the mask of social perfection.
So, at least from this standpoint, the less respect that someone treats you with, the more likely it is that they hold you in the highest esteem. Most of us would never say something hurtful to someone that might take it as serious. If you’re willing to tell jokes at their expense, it’s probably the highest compliment you could give anyone.
It says, I trust you. I’ll expose my heart to you.
And there’s always the still small voice inside that says, “Please don’t hurt me.”
