Oskar Leonard's Blog, page 12

Weight Of A God

Before we get into this week’s flash fiction piece, have you checked out the completely free ebook copy of On Gentle Wings available at Smashwords? If not, I would highly recommend giving it a go – and if you want to really support me, consider buying a print copy at Amazon, leaving a review for the collection wherever you accessed it or checking out my Ko-Fi. With all that being said, I have a flash fiction piece for you today which was published by Adoxography Literary Magazine in their second issue and unfortunately is no longer available, so I thought I’d share it here.

Weight Of A God

I can’t believe I chased you. Night after night, my dreams were consumed by nothing but a glowing god who allowed me to speak His name – your name – even as my lips trembled to form the dignified vowels and consonants. Then, in the greatest miracle of them all, you chose me and bestowed everything you had upon me… absolutely everything. I swayed under the weight of a god who didn’t care for work, or literature, or movement. Somehow, my eyes burn at the thought of you, and me, and love. I can’t believe you only stir to chase me, now.

Enjoyed the flash fiction? Why not check out my LGBT+ short story/advice collection Everything Under The Rainbow?

(Available on Amazon & Smashwords!)

Two Thieves, A Little Help & Guilty Of A Lie – On Gentle Wings Excerpt

Exciting news – On Gentle Wings will be releasing very soon! I’m aiming to have the ebook out during this week and the physical copy will be following shortly. You can check out my Instagram or Facebook page to keep up to date with the exact day of release, or sign up to my newsletter on my home page to get an email when the collection is published! For now, here are three poems I’ve picked from the manuscript to share with you today – I really hope you enjoy them!

Two Thieves

A magpie takes a coin
from my window sill,
night by night.

Half the blame’s mine,
for leaving it in sight.

The other falls to him,
thieving bird, for taking
what belongs to neither him nor me.

A Little Help

Sometimes, all you need
is to close your eyes
and slowly breathe.

Let the little ones
come to you—let them flutter
as you sit and stew.

Your thoughts may be heavy,
but their wings are light
and, altogether,

they’ll lift away your plight.

Guilty Of A Lie

She told us, with all the semblances
of truth about her character and countenance,
that she took the little bird’s life
on a whim.

She lied, but for one awful,
ponderous moment,
that bird was dead between us,
and we wholeheartedly believed
our friend had blood on her hands.

If you enjoyed these poems, consider supporting me in creating my future work by checking out my Ko-Fi!

(You can also check out my other poetry collections here!)

Cats Collection Updates – And Other News

Hi there! It’s certainly been a while since I’ve posted something on this blog, but hopefully everything will be getting back on track soon. I’ve been very busy with uni work and also my beta reading work on Fiverr (interested? Here’s the link!) but I’ve also been working hard in the background to get some things ready.

For example, the new editions of the Cats Collection books are now out! New editing, new covers and just an overall refreshed experience – feel free to check them out. As per usual, they’re all available on Smashwords for free or Amazon (make sure you check for the latest edition) if you’d like to purchase a physical copy. I’m also planning to release a special physical copy with all three books contained in one book with a new cover as well, so stay tuned for that!

On Gentle Wings is still in production, and hopefully should be getting close to a release soon. I’m also considering a release for The Demon Of Darkenhall Lane which might happen at some point this year, which should be awesome. In general, I’ve just been really busy with both work and university but now that the academic year is coming to a close, I’m hoping that the summer will bring with it some exciting new writing developments which I can’t wait to tell you all about. Oh, and this might be a bit of a hesitant commitment, but I’m planning to have a new short creative piece posted on the blog for you next week – hopefully a return to form!

If you’d like to support me in any way, the absolute best way to do so at the moment would be to pick up a free copy of any of my ebooks, give it a read and then leave an honest review once you’re done. I have to recommend Everything Under The Rainbow (LGBT+ YA short stories and advice, specifically for UK teens) because it’s probably the book that is closest to my heart and always will be, but I also have a variety of novels and poetry collections for you to peruse as well. I’m sure at least one will take your fancy!

And now, I suppose the only thing to do is to sign off – and hopefully see you again this time next week!

-Oskar Leonard.

Home-Hopping Moth

If you haven’t already checked out the free ebook copy of Cats Home, then now is absolutely the time to do so! I’d love to hear some feedback so any honest reviews would also be greatly appreciated, and the print copy will be coming soon! But for this week, I also have a poem for you about a confused little moth, so I hope you enjoy this too!

Home-Hopping Moth

Flitting between domiciles like a moth
eternally having to decide between flames;
should I drift closer to the warmth of home
or the excitement of staying away?

Do I delve deeper into creeping convenience
or maintain my steadfast desire to travel,
while keeping a brain-splitting schedule
from bus to train and bus again?

There is home, and there is home,
and, somehow, home again – this moth
is a little confused. Do I appease long-standing
connections, or focus on the new?

From home, to home, to home again
and yet now another problem arises:
nowhere truly feels like it has my heart
aside from the grey road behind me.

Enjoyed the poem? Why not check out Commute, Intricacies Inked In Ice, Our Paused World or Aleatory Poetry?

(They’re my poetry collections! Available on Amazon!)

Haunting Of Dust

Before we get into the poem this week, I have an announcement which I alluded to last week. My big news is that Cats Home is going to be released on the 15th September – yes, tomorrow! This is the release date for the ebook, which will be available at some point tomorrow to read (for free, as ever) and also the date on which I will upload the print book for publication. The print book versions always take a little more time than the ebook versions, so I hope you won’t mind the wait. But anyway, with that out of the way, please enjoy this little poem about memory and dust.

Haunting Of Dust

Now, you are gone,
yet you remain, somehow,
in the twinkling particles
of dust – they shine brighter
in the sunlight, just like you.

You would be proud
of what you’ve become.
These little shards of you
haunt me, but not in a way that
I dislike, or would ever wish to stop.

No, they are soft;
they are comfort on cold,
lonely days; they are reminders
that you were here, and will be again,
even if it takes a little while.

Enjoyed the poem? Why not check out Commute, Intricacies Inked In Ice, Our Paused World or Aleatory Poetry?

(They’re my poetry collections! Available on Amazon!)

Their Little Thoughts

This is a short poem that was previously published by Morning Fruit Magazine, but as the website for the magazine is no longer available I thought I would highlight it on my blog instead. Also, make sure you look out for next week’s blog post for some exciting updates about Cats Home!

Their Little Thoughts

I think these trees are whispering
their lonely secrets to me;
dying leaves inhale my smoke
and remember what it was
to be alive, and to feel,
and they crinkle with muted joy.

If I sit here for a little while,
I might overhear the song of squirrels-
pawsteps on branches, leaping
from world to world, home to home;
not without a care, but harbouring
their little worries – their little thoughts.

Enjoyed the poem? Why not check out Commute, Intricacies Inked In Ice, Our Paused World or Aleatory Poetry?

(They’re my poetry collections! Available on Amazon!)

Cats Home Excerpt

I’ve got plans to release Cats Home and finish off the Cats Collection at the start of next month, so why not start preparing now by showing you the first chapter – subject to potential change before publication – today? If you want to get caught up on the series, you can look at Cats Alone (first book) or Cats Wild (second book) – as this is a trilogy, Cats Home will be the final book and the picture for this blog post is the (hopefully final) version of the cover, with art by Leon Whittle.

Cats Home Excerpt – Chapter One

I think the only reason why Ruby comes with me to the shelter is to watch the queen suffer for as long as she can. Sometimes, the malice within my tribemate worries me. At other times, it is a blessing to have such a loyal and fierce protector, especially when I have to consider Sophia and her safety.

There is also the small issue of not knowing whether the queen will simply flee once we leave her at the shelter. We cannot stay when the workers discover her, otherwise we may be collected as well, and that would fully ruin our plans – whatever they are now. Once, my plan was to wait for Joseph in that old, cramped, dirty house that we all knew as home.

How come that feels like so long ago, now?

The blue-grey queen takes slow, exhausted steps. Her body remains low and close to the concrete ground as we close in on the large shelter building. There is a sunset behind the looming grey structure ahead of us, causing the sky to glow a bold orange colour. I want nothing more than to simply have this exchange rid us of the queen, so that we can finally start planning our next moves.

Ruby refuses to discuss anything in front of the queen and, while I can’t blame her, it does make it difficult to hold conversations when she also refuses to let the queen leave her sight for even a second. Convincing her to let me or Red take over the watch while she sleeps is a trial.

‘Well. Here we are,’ she says, as we near the large shelter doorway. ‘Finally getting rid of the rubbish.’

‘Ruby,’ I scold, but only half-heartedly. We’ve been through a lot at the paws of this queen, and even seeing our adversary in this constantly worn-down state doesn’t elicit much sympathy from me.

She says nothing in response to Ruby, or me. Instead, she lowers herself fully to the ground and closes her eyes, unmoving except for a slight rising and falling in her chest. In the shadow cast by the shelter, her blue-grey fur seems almost black – almost like mine. In another reality, we might’ve been more similar in other ways, too.

But we’re not. I have to remember that. I have my tribe, and we are a family. I have Sophia, and I have the twins, and I have Baxter. We even have our new friends now in Red, Spot and Maria. No matter what the future holds, I know that my tribe has my back and I have theirs. This queen had a tribe, sure – maybe she still has them – but they caused chaos and deliberate harm to those who did nothing to them. It’s cruel and needless… and it stops now.

By taking the queen off the streets, we can ensure that she won’t be able to hurt anyone else. Her tribe might continue to cause trouble, but we have the power to remove at least one link from the chain. It feels like it’s our duty to do this, although Ruby might see it as just revenge. To be fair, Ruby and Sapphire have never been under the care of an animal shelter before, but I have. I know this isn’t a cruel action by itself, although the queen will have less freedom than before.

It’s more than likely that she’ll be able to find a good home, especially if she starts to behave a little calmer after existing within a safer, more comfortable space for a while. Come to think of it, maybe we should all hand ourselves in. I know we’re wild right now, but how long can we last like this?

No. The tribe would be separated, and I couldn’t allow that. Being away from Sophia for a lifetime would be so painful that I can’t even bear to imagine it, and I’ve grown so fond of my tribe that… I don’t want to leave them, even if I would be able to live with a nice owner for the rest of my life. I don’t want comfort for me – I want comfort for all of us, and I can’t ensure that if the control is in the paws, or hands, of someone else.

On that thought, something strikes me. We probably won’t see this queen again, but there is still so much that we don’t know about her. I couldn’t even tell you her name, let alone her life’s story. Maybe we don’t have time for an entire history, but it feels wrong to just dump her here without the most basic courtesy. Keeping an eye on Ruby, I reach out with one paw and pat the queen’s shoulder.

‘I just thought I’d ask,’ I say, as she opens her eyes and blinks at me slowly, ‘for your name.’

‘Why does it matter?’ She asks, her voice soft and shaking.

‘Yeah, why does it matter?’ Ruby echoes, although her tone is far more spiteful. I ignore my tribemate for now, focusing on the queen.

‘You are going to be taken care of by the people in this shelter,’ I say, ‘and that is the best course of action. We couldn’t keep you with us and I think you really have a chance of turning your life around without your tribe and the danger and competition on the streets. But now that we’re parting ways, it feels wrong to not even know your name.’

She doesn’t speak for a few long moments. Ruby hisses and begins to pace back and forth, mumbling about how we should just make a racket and then leave, and something about how talking to the queen is a waste of time. I don’t mind. She has her reasons for disliking the queen, or even hating her, and I have mine for wanting a little bit of closure.

‘You’re… a strange cat,’ the queen remarks. ‘Soft. I’m guessing… pet from birth, recent stray?’

‘Ha,’ Ruby sneers, ‘you couldn’t be more wrong. Shadow was wild from birth. Our owner took us all in, and then…’ she trails off, before shaking herself suddenly. ‘You don’t deserve that story,’ she spits.

‘I see,’ she murmurs. ‘A surprising cat, too. My… my name, or the one my tribe use for me… it’s Kiana. It was someone’s… someone’s previous owner’s name, a little girl.’

‘That’s lovely,’ I reply, noticing Ruby bristle beside me. ‘Kiana, I hope your life improves from here. Can you promise me that you’ll stay until someone collects you?’

‘I’m too… too tired to move,’ she sighs, closing her eyes again. ‘Leave, don’t leave. I don’t… mind, anymore.’

I look to Ruby and nod. There’s one fairly surefire way to get some attention to Kiana from the shelter, and it’s something that we cats do happen to excel at, when we want to. We’ll just have to be extremely quick on our paws and hope that Kiana keeps to her word, and truly is as tired as she appears to be. I have some doubt in my mind, but that’s only natural after her sometimes horrifying antics with her tribe.

Nevertheless, Ruby and I launch into our plan. We make a show of scratching at the shelter door, which has an interesting mix of different animals’ scents lingering around it, before beginning to yowl. Obviously, we can’t just attract the attention of the people in the shelter like a human might, but we have our own ways as cats. I remember leaving Sophia’s siblings by this very shelter, although that was a much quieter affair. After all, they were too small to move too far so time wasn’t an issue – I just waited nearby until they were picked up. Kiana is a different case, so we’re using a different approach.

Together, we create a scratchy, high-pitched symphony – or cacophony – until I pick up on distant footsteps beyond the door. I turn to Ruby and see that she’s also picked up on the noise; her ears twitch and her eyes widen in the split second before she acts.

‘Now!’ Ruby cries.

Instantly, we both spin around and sprint away from the shelter, racing towards a fence which we leap up onto. Ruby jumps down without hesitation and continues scampering down an alleyway, but I hesitate for a moment and look back towards the shelter.

The door has opened, and someone has stepped out. They’re leaning down and picking up a ball of blue-grey fur: Kiana. As they turn to enter the shelter again, I notice them stroking her head and feel a little bit of relief sink into my heart. She’s going to be okay. I know I shouldn’t care – realistically, I should act like Ruby and be glad that we’ve gotten rid of Kiana – but I can’t help myself. She’s not the same cat who antagonised us and seemingly tried to ruin our lives for no reason. She’s changed.

Looking away from the shelter, I hop down from the fence and hurry after Ruby, hoping that Kiana continues to change for the better.

Enjoyed the excerpt? Why not check out Cats Alone or Cats Wild?

(They’re the first two books in the series! Available on Amazon!)

Arms

This week, I’ve got a nice little poem about feeling safe in someone’s arms for you. Don’t forget to check out Commute if you’d like to read more of my poetry!

Arms

There is no warmer place
than in your arms–there,
I am sheltered from the world.

There, I don’t have to think
and my breath is filtered
through the fibres of your jumper.

There, if I close my eyes,
all is nothing and all is you,
and you act as my lifeline.

There is no safer place
than in your arms–there,
I feel genuinely at peace.

Enjoyed the poem? Why not check out Commute, Intricacies Inked In Ice, Our Paused World or Aleatory Poetry?

(They’re my poetry collections! Available on Amazon!)

Reflections

This week, I’ve got a short little poem for you on, unsurprisingly, the topic of ‘reflections’. It’s one of those where I’ve used the actual, physical idea of a reflection along with the more metaphorical/mental interpretation as well, which is always fun. If you like this sort of poetry, feel free to check out my new poetry book Commute (available as a free ebook and in print!).

Reflections

I keep seeing familiar faces in reflections,
not knowing that they are only ghosts
of the people I once loved.

When strangers wear features
of those I thought I knew so well
I wonder whether I ever knew them at all.

Enjoyed the poem? Why not check out Commute, Intricacies Inked In Ice, Our Paused World or Aleatory Poetry?

(They’re my poetry collections! Available on Amazon!)

A Pastel Love Note

This is just a soft little poem that I’d like to share this week. I’ve been posting a lot of Commute content recently – check it out on this page if you haven’t already – but sometimes it’s nice to just write pretty words and let them become a poem, because poetry can be so beautiful. Anyway, without further ado, here is A Pastel Love Note.

A Pastel Love Note

I love you in lavender;
the touch of your fingers
between classes – a lifeline,
so pretty in pink, and a face

crowned by autumn –
you are safety, melding
into warmth: body heat,
snatched kisses in corridors,

a static-backed sweet nothing
in my ear at 3 AM, and a promise
that everything will cease shaking
by dawn – you are a soft home.

Enjoyed the poem? Why not check out Commute, Intricacies Inked In Ice, Our Paused World or Aleatory Poetry?

(They’re my poetry collections! Available on Amazon!)

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