Ruth King's Blog, page 2

Beyond Black History Month: Navigating the Complexities of Racial Awareness

In a society grappling with fever-pitch social violence, political hostility, and systemic threats to equality, it's not uncommon for individuals to harbor mixed feelings about Black History Month. The discomfort arises from a sense of hypocrisy – a dissonance between the month-long celebration and the pervasive issues that persist before and beyond February. 

While the significance of honoring Black history cannot be overstated, the question lingers – why confine this celebration to February when the remaining 11 months often bear witness to the devaluation of Black experiences and subordination of our brilliance? 

The lasting feeling of disconnection stemming from fear and trauma, intensified by the nation's collective forgetfulness, echoes with many. Despite this painful reality, cultivating racial awareness provides a route to healing. This awareness empowers us to rise above fear, cultivating a sense of belonging that reaches beyond the confines of racial boundaries. 

So what can you do to build racial awareness? Learn (and relearn) about your own racial history, both as a nation and in your own community.  Be curious about how your habits of mind and how you relate to race in your own life. Do your habits of mind lead to freedom or more distress? Your local library will have books and videos on any number of topics. It may even have copies of Mindful of Race! There is no lack of information available to you; there is a lack of commitment to learn and truly belong. Take the time to read the news about modern racial terror and think about what you can do in your community to help make it more welcoming and inclusive for all people. 

James Baldwin told us, "Not everything that is faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed until it is faced." Confronting uncomfortable truths and the traumatic history related to race is a necessary step toward creating positive change and fostering understanding. Black History Month is a crucial opportunity for reflection, celebration, and education for all races. This involves being aware of oneself, one's history, and the impact one has on social harmony.

True awareness and healing lie in transcending the confines of a designated month and embracing racial awareness as a continuous, lifelong practice. As we navigate the complexities of our shared history, we must strive to break free from delusions, cultivate empathy, and foster a collective sense of belonging that transcends racial divides. Only then can we hope to build a society that values and respects Black history every day of the year.

To deepen your understanding of your racial history and habits of mind, I invite you to join our 2024 Brave Space for Leaders cohort. Brave Space is a 12-month, online, racial affinity group development program taught by Ruth King. The application process opens Mar 1, 2024, and we will have a cohort of 30 participants. 

 

Questions? Learn about Brave Space and Attend the Info Webinar March 16th!

The post Beyond Black History Month: Navigating the Complexities of Racial Awareness appeared first on RuthKing.net.

Make Joy a Habit & 11 Predictable Joys

Being mindful of race naturally frees up more inner space for us to feel and be full of life yet feeling spacious can be frightening. We can be intolerant of experiences of freedom. To counterbalance these frightening feelings of unknowingness, we can incorporate into our lives practices that bring us predictable joy—experiences that make our entire being soften and at the same time remind us of our connection to something larger than our physical selves.

The following Predictable Joys are an excerpt from my book Healing Rage, and are especially comforting to experiences pf racial shame, guilt, and outrage. Predictable Joys cost very little beyond a caring pause of awareness. The joys proposed here are readily accessed and invite us into presence.

Our experiences of joy are distinct, and they change. But for now, your task is to partake in as many of the following joys as you heart can stand—for the rest of your life—and to be on the lookout for even more of them.

THE JOY OF LAUGHTER

Laughter is the best medicine of all time and provides immediate joy. Research shows that laughter decreases stress hormones, relaxes muscles, enhances our immune system, reduces pain, provides cardiac conditioning, improves our respiratory system, and decreases hypertension. But these reasons are not nearly as pleasurable as the simple and pure joy of laughing.

Make it your priority to find something to laugh about each day. A word of caution—avoid participating in humor at other people’s expense. This type of hurtful behavior will erode your own self-esteem and healing. Instead, read cartoons, rent a video, or notice the humor in ordinary life. You may have a friend or relative who is naturally humorous—spend time with them. Journal hilarious stories and insights each day and refer to them often. Laughter frees up inner space and supports the union of body and mind.

THE JOY OF MUSIC

Music travels by air and permeates our senses, creating inner vibrations that regulate our mood. Music affects the release of powerful brain chemicals that influence the rhythm of our breathing, our heartbeat, and our blood pressure. Because music holds such power, we can make use of music as a joy we can count on.

Listening to soothing music can calm even the most troubled minds. It reduces aggression, lifts depression, and improves the quality of rest and sleep. On the other hand, listening to belligerent and violent music may be exciting but may also contribute to hostile, agitated, and harmful states of mind.

Select your favorite sounds and fit them into categories such as: Joy, Bliss, Relaxation, Courage, Beauty, Mastery, Sweetness, Love, etc. When you need to alter your mood, chose from your desired categories. Find a private space to relax and enjoy the sounds. Consider listening as a meditation. Begin with settling your breath in your body. You might identify a particular instrument or sound and follow its journey throughout the song. You may even imagine yourself being that sound, allowing its vibration to move you or express itself through your voice. Notice what thoughts and feelings arise and ride them. Allow music to take you on a pleasure ride. Kick back and surrender to its predictable joy.

THE JOY OF DANCE

For many of us, it is impossible to feel bad when we are dancing. When we dance, our body and mind work together, and we become balanced and harmonious. Ok, this is true for many but not all of us, so you can enjoy even this! Dance provides exercise, improves mobility and muscle coordination, and reduces tension. Dance, especially spontaneous and free movements, improves self-awareness and self-confidence, and is an outlet for creative expression and physical and emotional release.

Choose a dance expression that is natural and enjoyable—both are key. Linda, a 36-year-old woman putting down her Defiance disguise, started a weekly salsa dance class at a local club. She chose this class because salsa was something she enjoyed so much that she would be sure to be consistent. It also offered a wild and joyful freedom that her rage child demanded.

Make a regular play date with your rage child and dance like nobody’s watching. Dance is a profoundly pleasurable and predictably joyous.

THE JOY OF HUGS

I get some criticism because I live in California, land of the touchy feelers. But my motto is: Hug more and talk less! For many of us, hugs bring instant and predictable joy! Some of us are afraid of physical contact, but a genuine hug—heart to heart—is a relatively safe form of physical contact, something that can help our bodies to heal. Hugs can break down barriers that words fail to penetrate.

I encourage you to whole-heartedly hug the people you care about when you greet them. Allow your hugs to last a minimum of five seconds! Remember to breathe and enjoy the pure and immediate joy that hugging can provide.

The JOY OF A CHILD

When those of us who are healing rage make ourselves available to children, we not only witness the subtle unfolding of a child’s life, but we also awaken to our own. The magical thing about being around a child, especially an infant, is discovering how natural it is to love and be loved. An infant is miraculously one with spirit. Her innocence is pure and her nature unspoiled. When an infant cries, her entire body is involved. Nothing is held back. The same is true when she smiles. Body and mind are one.

You may currently have a child in your life to whom you can open your heart a little wider. Or you may have a niece, nephew, or grandchild you can be close to and nurture. You may also visit an orphanage, homeless shelter, hospital, or know of a child in your neighborhood.  This need not be a time-consuming endeavor but regular enough for you to become acquainted with the child and to enjoy and understand their wondrous ways.

Often our time with a child will help us fill in the blanks of our childhood. We may begin to remember the conditions that gave birth to our rage as well as recall more pleasurable memories. Waking up in this way is a wonderful way to reclaim our own light and innocence. The joy of a child is a gift to all, and an extra benefit to your own rage child, who will delight in interaction with a kindred soul closer to her own age.

Many of us have forgotten that children have wisdom to share. They are not simply here for us to care for. They bring answers to our deepest questions and medicine for our well-being and that of the world. When we invest in the well-being of a child, we discover how to love, how to forgive, and how to live in the moment. Of course, it is not always sugar and spice, but it is always real and, often, joyful.

THE JOY OF A TEENAGER

Teenagers know the truth about their bodies even in the midst of being programmed out of it. They are on fire, candid, often uninhibited, creative, and wise—things we are reclaiming within ourselves through our healing journey. What is often missing from a teenager’s life is respectful attention to their truth and inner freedom. Teenagers need to be around creative people, and around role models who practice what they preach.

It can be joyous to cultivate a relationship with a teenager and their family, and encourage an atmosphere of non-judgment, creativity, and service. Make an agreement with the family to be of service. Help with homework, reading, cultural experiences, or exposure to your line of work or special interest. Every teenager should be able to look back on their life and say: There was this person who loved me, and I could be myself with them. They saw my potential. They really tried to know me for who I truly was. 

Many teenagers embody those qualities that we have lost and now seek to reclaim—audaciousness, naturalness, timelessness, innocence, and sensual freedom. Enjoy the charge of being around a teen and remember who you still are. When we take advantage of this predictable joy, we rediscover and advance those parts of ourselves that have always been free.

THE JOY OF AN ELDER

Many of us have difficult relationships with elders in our bloodline. We may have lost them too early, never knew them, or they may still be alive but there may be a painful estrangement due to regret or disappointment. We may even push them to the side or avoid them because we may not be able to tolerate their pain and suffering.

When we feel cut off from our elders, we miss out on the sacred wisdom of their lives and the human experience of aging, death and dying. Being able to be present with both the joy and complexity of our elders is part of becoming present with our full selves. Just as a child reminds us of our birth, youth and innocence, many elders embody grace and wisdom that can teach us how to navigate our lives. Unfortunately, many elders die alone, with their wisdom unexplored. Being unable or unwilling to draw upon their vast stores of wisdom is a profound disservice to our evolution and dwarfs our experiences of joy.

To experience this joy, identify an elder with whom you want to develop a deeper connection. Perhaps it’s your own parents, or an older person in a nursing home, a hospital, a neighbor, or a friend’s parent whom you admire. Commit to spending time with them. The Empathic Interview Questionnaire may be a helpful tool to apply. Be a good friend and a good listener. Attend to the elder’s wisdom fires and heal together. Edith, an inactive writer, writes:

I just got back from visiting my favorite aunt. It’s been over 8 years since I’ve seen her. She’s 79-years old and has chronic pulmonary obstructive disease. It was difficult to see her this way and at the same time it felt like a privilege. To my surprise I discovered that my aunt is a talented writer and poet and has never shared any of her work. She read several of her poems and somehow, they were just what I needed to hear. Knowing she is dying made our time precious. I could see how blessed I am to have time, choices, and energy to be creative. Her words were simple: “Don’t waste a minute!” I returned home ready to take my writing more seriously. My aunt helped me realize that I have a writing legacy. She was so happy I came. I’ve been beaming ever since.

While many of us may not have been able to receive such wisdom from our birth parents, there is no reason why we can’t obtain elder wisdom from someone else. Keep in mind that there should be mutual respect in your relationship with elders. You do not have to regress or become childlike in the face of elders. Bringing your full woman-self to the relationship is evidence of respect.

Sometimes, our wise elders will come looking for us to impart their wisdom and encourage our healing journey and their own. One such wise elder, age 82, attended a one-day Healing Rage workshop and captivated the hearts of over 60 women with piercing truth and love:

I come to you not out of pity, but from pride and pain. I've kept quiet too long about being raped, and seeing my daughters and granddaughters raped by men in our family. I've stood by and said nothing, did nothing and it happened to practically every girl child. I was so afraid. I just want you to know how sorry I am for being silent. Now that I'm old enough to be your grandmother, I'm sorry that my silence and the silence of people like me have caused you so much harm. And I'm sorry that I've shut down my heart to life for so many years. I've let you down as an elder, as a protector. I came to this workshop because it looked like a good place to heal. I ask for your forgiveness, and I want to state in public that I am working on forgiving myself. I think it is important that we tell the truth and free ourselves. I pray that we can all look truth dead in the eye and do what we need to do.

Healing, at its core, is about returning home. There is tremendous healing in returning to our elders and embracing their wisdom and learning how to live and how to die wisely. 

THE JOY OF SACRED INTIMACY

While some of us are sexually active, the true joy of sacred intimacy is rooted in being sensuous and intimate with a lover, and especially ourselves. Our bodies come alive and naturally respond to contact, but many of us are afraid of our bodies. We may have been physically and sexually violated and have become confused about the sacredness of our bodies. Some of us have settled for sex or abstinence when intimacy—touch, presence, respect, and physical and emotional connection—is what we yearn for.

Your task is to embrace your sexual unions as sacred. Make it an intimate endeavor—every time! Lay with your lover heart to heart and breathe together. Tenderly examine each other’s faces with loving eyes. Avoid talking—it can be difficult in such moments to talk and feel at the same time. Holding and light caressing is healing, especially if its sole aim is not to become sexual but rather present. If you are by yourself, allow the same tenderness toward your own body that you would toward a lover’s. Be fully present, tender, and available without fantasy or distraction. Rest and enjoy the oneness that you have created. Don’t be quick to fall asleep, take some time to rest in this healing pleasure. It is not necessary to be sexual to find joy in sacred intimacy. You need only to partake in this predictable joy as often and as thoughtfully as you can!

THE JOY OF ANIMALS & PETS

Animals are powerful spirits. Historically, many shamans, deities, and spiritual leaders are portrayed with animals as totems of guidance and protection. In ancient Egypt, the scarab, dog, cat and asp were a few of many sacred animals that were respected for their wise guidance. In Native American cultures, many animal spirits such as the eagle, snake, buffalo, and wolf, are considered medicine for the soul and are depicted in rituals for peace and healing. Most states in the United States and in other parts of the world use animal symbols to represent the spirit of the land on their flags. Like children, animals can teach us much about how to live, love, and forgive.

Consider bringing an animal spirit into your life for the pure joy of it. You can have a pet or visit one regularly in the neighborhood. I’m a dog lover. Brandy, my beloved German shepherd for 13-year, taught me many lessons about unconditional love. She would lie across my feet, panting and smiling as I rubbed her head and chin. Sometimes I would be in awe at the joy in her face as she looked at me. I would talk to her about life and love and would ask her questions like: How do you love no matter what? And she would respond by staying beside me and being love, teaching me that being is love! I witnessed her growth and death and she never stopped loving me, and I her. That was many years ago and I still experience much joy at the thought of her.

The spirit of an animal is where the joy lies. Look around and discover the animals in nature that surround you. Relax into the kinship that animals provide. You will find that your animal spirit has something in common with your rage child—it is your presence that matters most. The more capable you are of being love, the more capable you are of being loving. This is the predictable joy of loving animals and pets—being love and being loving.

THE JOY OF NATURE

The gifts of nature are infinite, varied, surprising, and generous. Many of us live our lives in human-made surroundings, preoccupied with human-made concerns. But our bodies, our senses, our spirits have a different home, one much older and wilder. Making time for a homecoming with the natural world can fill our nervous systems with relief and joy.

Nature is indiscriminately generous, and she performs miraculously to a revered audience. We need only be present to her predictable joys. Essentially, we want to embrace nature as an extension of ourselves and invite nature to help us make sense out of our lives. For example, when you question your worth and beauty, it is joyous to admire in intricate detail an unusual flower. See yourself in this flower. Imagine yourself becoming this flower—soft, unique, fragrant, original—the flower of your admiration.

If you feel ungrounded, take some time to be near a mature tree. Notice its full trunk and deep strong roots. Ask the tree any questions that come to mind, for example: How do you just stand there through all the seasons of life? Teach me how to survive without hiding. Teach me how to stand gracefully. Imagine yourself being like the tree—old, wise, solid and grounded, knowing you have a right to exist. Experience the physical power of this natural expression and listen for an answer to your questions. Imagine If I were a tree, how would I respond to my question?

If you feel lifeless and in need of energy to take care of yourself, you may find predictable joy falling asleep in the warm sun and soaking up its rays. If the warm sun is not available, let yourself imagine a radiant sun beaming down on your body, or a beautiful sunset, or a hearth fire. The predictable joy occurs when you allow in more light and become light itself.

If you are hurting because you have a relationship that you cannot mend, invite the earth to join you in transforming your pain. Plant a flower or tree in your yard as a dedication to the person you are unable to relate to. Attend to the flower or tree—love it and talk to it as if it were your loved one.

If you need to grieve but your tears won’t flow, take this need to a larger body of water—the ocean, a lake or river, and give it over. Your bathtub will also do. Ask the larger body of water to help you grieve. If you feel overwhelmed, caged, or frustrated, find your way to fresh air and open space.

I take a walk in a park near my home each morning on a long and spiraling path, seldom seeing anyone for miles. One morning, a woman was about a quarter of a mile ahead of me walking alone on the trail. Her pace was fast, and she was screaming and cursing at the top of her lungs. I dropped back further on the trail, not wanting to be noticed or to interrupt her expression. I mentally bowed to her rage release knowing she was freeing herself in that moment and that the earth and air could hold her.

Begin a practice of noticing the simple pleasures of nature and how it supports your existence and mirrors your larger essence. To take care of nature is to take care of our bodies and our lives. Whatever you need, you can find solace and joy in nature.

THE JOY OF ARTISTIC EXPRESSION

When the spider builds its web, it is a mirror image of itself—a beauty we are more likely to pause and admire even if we are afraid of spiders. We can admire the web because of its artistic and unique expression. We are awestruck and wonder: How is this possible? We are engaged with the art—the web, not the artist—the spider. Similarly, art provides a natural outlet for our rage child to be seen without being feared. Having an artistic expression is an amazing way to channel passion and clarify our deepest longings. Like the spider’s web, our artistic talents can reveal and affirm our existence and keep us safe and sane.

Our rage child is an artist, and her fierce spirit wants to express itself. Too many of us allow ourselves to lie dormant, rather than tapping our creative potential. Art is a resourceful and profoundly meaningful way to transform our rage disguises. Do you long to create a play? Write a poem? Sing jazz? Play the drums? Dance like a wildfire? These art forms, and many others like them, are prayers that allow everything we are on the inside to come out. Consider: What beauty have I always wanted to manifest?

Identify a creative project—something your heart would enjoy. Sit in your sacred space and ask your rage child to help you determine the most satisfying areas to creative expression. It can be a project just for you, or one to share with others. Be outrageous and don’t worry if it does not make sense. Begin with something simple and silly, not something you need to perfect. For instance, trace the outline of your hand then decorate it with colors or crafts. Then turn it in any number of directions to see what it reveals. Make up stories about what you see and write them in your rage journal. Just begin and be willing to laugh at yourself. Make room to display your creations just as you would hang the pictures of a preschooler who comes home eager to share his projects.

Teresa had forgotten how much she loved listening to music. She loved the old Motown sounds and would listen and sing any number of them for hours on end. She always felt lighter and open hearted when she sang. But it wasn’t until she began a playful relationship with her rage child that she began to write new lyrics to old Motown tunes, which provided her with much humor, joy and unique expression. Rochelle, raised as a child in an environment of emotional distant and austere furnishings, realized through her relationship with her rage child that her attraction to quilting was more than a casual hobby. It was her way to add comfort and texture to her life. This realization made her hobby all the more joyous.

Your disguises of rage may give you clues about your hidden talents. Melanie, healing from the disguise of Depression, used her dark times to write poems about depression, giving honor to every detail of her experience. She eventually published a book of poetry that helped others rest and love themselves in dark times. She turned her pain into art and gifted it to the world.

Pay attention to your body’s response to rage and explore its meaning through your creative endeavor. Esther, unmasking the disguise of Defiance, would impulsively slap her “hard-headed” children when she became angry. During a Stillness Practice, Esther recalled that as long as she could remember, she had wanted to grab something hard and change it. Esther found a sculpting class and enrolled. She enjoyed the act of carving and changing the stone, surprised to discover that it was the stone that was teaching her how it needed to be shaped, not the other way around. She translated this experience into her children seeking her attention to teach her something, a valuable lesson—that her so-called hard-headed children were actually trying to teach her something, and if she looked closely, she might discover a hidden treasure.

Our rage child is a fire spirit—a natural-born artist. Our challenge is to use the fire of rage to illuminate our most heart-felt longings. We naturally feel powerful when our rage becomes tangible and affirmed, even if only for our eyes.

Inescapably, we are both creator and that which is being created. When we partake in an artistic expression, we discover what we need to learn what we need to discover. Dedicate one evening each month to an artistic project and invite your rage child to participate! The only requirement is that you have fun! You will discover that allowing time for your artistic expression is a soulful and predictable joy!

The post Make Joy a Habit & 11 Predictable Joys appeared first on RuthKing.net.

The Contagion of Kindness

On a two-week visit to Italy, my wife and I spent a day on Piazza San Marco, often referred to as St. Mark’s Square in Venice. We had just missed the boat to our hotel, and we had 45 minutes before the next one. So we backtracked to an outside café on the Square that had caught my eye where the musicians were setting up for evening jazz.

It was one of those beautiful and awe-struck evenings, an amazing sunset inclusive of several flash flood rains that everyone seemed accustomed to. The jazz quartet began just as we found a table, so we settled in with great anticipation.

An elder Indian couple sauntered by and stopped just right of our table. I noticed that the sari the woman wore was a traditional style worn in Kerala, a city in South India I had visited years earlier. Her partner sniffed, then followed the scent to two white men sitting at the table to our left who were smoking cigars.

The Indian man asked the white men: Where did you get those cigars – I’ve been looking for cigars.

One of the white men extended a blond box that read Pedro Martin Cigars and said: Here, have one.

The Indian man said: No, I couldn’t. Just point the way and I will buy them.

The white man said: No, please, have one. It would be my pleasure.

The Indian man say: No, I couldn’t.

By this time, everyone watching was muttering: Take the cigar already!

The Indian man finally conceded, and many handshakes and words of appreciation went back and forth.

The Indian man and his partner found a table across the café and ordered tea for the two white men who had so graciously gifted him with the cigar. It was as if he simply could not enjoy the cigar until deep appreciation had been extended and felt. The Indian man accompanied the waiter to the white men’s table and again offered gratitude, making a fuss over their service and the placement of their tea.

The White men said: Oh, you shouldn’t have.

The Indian man said: But I must.

The White men said: Thank you again.

The Indian man returned to his partner, and slowly lit the cigar, and for the next several moments, as the jazz and abundant kindness filled the air, the Indian couple exchanged puffs back and forth in pure delight, smiling, gazing into each other's eyes, and simply enjoying each other’s company.

Everyone in the café appeared to benefit from the affection and spontaneity of this gracious and kindhearted exchange – infectious and contagious. The vibration in the café was heightened with warmth and echoes of widespread ease, like smooth jazz.

As Barbara and I headed to catch the last ferry for the evening, drenched in happiness, I thought: Our bodies missed the earlier boat, but the heart knew another way!

Ruth King, October 12, 2013

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Navigating Uncomfortable Conversations: Looking In Before Acting Out

When engaged in discussions that expose vulnerability and challenge our beliefs, the concept of "presence" becomes invaluable. Being present means immersing ourselves fully in the moment, without judgment or preconceived notions. It's about active listening, not just with our ears but with our hearts and minds.

Cultivating presence in the face of our own racial biases allows us to examine our own perspectives, views, and emotions. It enables us to set aside ego-driven reactions and make space for empathy and connection. Presence is an active and compassionate expression of engagement.

In the heat of uncomfortable conversations, emotions can run high. It's essential to allow pause and space in these exchanges. I invite you to revisit my blog from this time last year Calling Out, Inviting In: Difficult Conversations. It draws attention to the impact we have on others in challenging conversations. Being called out or calling someone else out never feels good. This blog offers a few reflective strategies for navigating these interactions more gracefully. 

Pausing before reacting can prevent defensiveness and lead to more thoughtful engagement. Taking a moment to consider the impact of our own thoughts and feelings can lead to more personal growth and presence. 

To build on the earlier blog, consider the following reflection from the "Mindful of Race" chapter "Talking about what disturbs you."

Looking In Before Acting Out

When you feel triggered, get quiet. Take a few deep breaths. Turn your attention inward. Have an attitude of curiosity and self-care. Now reflect on the following questions:

Given this disturbance, what old traumas or wounds have been activated? Acknowledge and take care of them. What characteristics about this person or situation can you acknowledge as good or neutral? Can you see aspects of yourself, past or present, in the person or situation?What thoughts, emotions, or beliefs are you convinced of or do you overly identify with? What can you let go of to feel free?  Are you taking this disturbance personally? Is this absolutely true?Do you believe this situation has always been or will be this way? Is that absolutely true? Can this situation be anything other than it actually is in this moment?Do you feel clear and stable enough to confront this disturbance without causing harm to others or yourself?What is your intention in confronting this disturbance? What outcome do you hope for? For example: Do you want to be right, to be better understood, to bridge separation, to reach agreement? Be clear about your intention without being attached to the outcome.Are you open to learning?

These reflections are meant to support you in staying present and curious about the experience you are having in this moment. You don't have to be distress-free before you have a difficult conversation, but you do want to enter it with clarity and stability.

Free Training: Let's Talk About Race

Learn more about how to cultivate presence and experience more inner freedom by watching my free webinar, “Let’s Let's Talk About Race: What to do with emotional distress.” Inside this 25-minute training, you’ll learn: 

When to press pause: Recognize the signs of nervous system dysregulation and discover how to reconnect with your body to prevent emotional overwhelm. Discomfort as competency: Understand why discomfort is important and learn to embrace your discomfort without running away, spinning out, or acting out. How to stay connected: Learn to stay connected with others and yourself by cultivating an inner atmosphere that is regulated, stable, and choiceful. How to deepen awareness: Learn more about how to deepen your practice of racial awareness and your impact on racial harmony.

Watch it for free today by clicking the link: https://ruthking.net/free-webinar/.

Join Us Online November 17-19 for: Mindful of Race 101 + Live Time with Ruth!

Click here to enroll: https://ruthking.net/mindful-of-race-training/

Understanding how we have been conditioned to think and react is at the root of both racial distress and racial healing. ~ Ruth King

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Exploring the Significance of Race in Leadership

The Relevance of Racial Concerns

Matters of race are not confined to a specific group; they resonate with everyone because they touch upon fundamental aspects of our society, culture, and personal values. Engaging with these issues is essential for creating a more aware world where everyone's dignity and rights are respected.

The Crucial Role of Leaders and Influencers 

Leaders and influencers play a crucial role in addressing matters of race. Here are potential situations where their involvement is significant:

Impactful Messaging: Their wide reach allows them to address racism, raise awareness, and drive change.Role Models: They set anti-racist examples for others to emulate.Voice Amplification: By sharing unheard stories, they spotlight systemic issues.Advocacy and Policy Influence: Some can shape policies promoting racial equity at a systemic level.Education and Awareness: They educate followers on racial history, biases, and inclusion.Diversity Promotion: They foster inclusivity by supporting underrepresented individuals.

It's essential for leaders and influencers to recognize their role in addressing racial concerns and to use their platforms and influence responsibly. By doing so, they can contribute to positive social change and help create a more just and equitable world for all.

Leaders and our  Unique Challenges

As a seasoned leader, you’ve likely already embarked on a significant journey of self-awareness and racial understanding, and we'd like to help by adding to your repertoire of skills. Fundamental to being an effective leader is intimately knowing ourselves, understanding our impact on racial progress, and strengthening our capacity to influence racial awareness and collective well-being with grace, clarity, and skillfulness. While many of us have received invaluable training in our respective fields and professions, there's a yearning to pause, reflect, and remember. We seek acknowledgment and affirmation in our authenticity, a recognition of our need for distinction and support, and a connection with wise peers where we can share and celebrate our stories of courage, creativity, and resilience. Ultimately, such engagement brightens our aspirations for racial harmony.

This is the work of Brave Space, our Racial Affinity Leadership Development ProgramBrave Space will help you:Deepen your understanding of your racial conditioning and its impact on social harmony.Experience racial affinity as a gateway to understanding racial diversity.Engage racial complexity with less activation and more stability and confidence.Shift from having racial information to embodying and integrating racial insights that are onward leading.Perceive, regulate emotions, and deepen connection through somatic and mindfulness applications.Strengthen your capacity to influence social well-being with compassion and clarity.

If you haven't already, visit Brave Space for Leaders and join our Waitlist. In the coming months, we will be sharing more details about the 2024 Brave Space for Leaders program. 

And know this: Mindful of Race 101 is a prerequisite to Brave Space. Plan to join me on November 17-19, 2023 for a live version of this course. Click here to register: https://ruthking.net/mindful-of-race-training/

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Transforming Racial Distress: A Path to Inner Peace through Mindful Meditation

In a world where conversations about race and racism have never been more critical, it's essential that we explore avenues to address these issues within ourselves. This article delves deeper into the transformative power of mindfulness meditation as a means to navigate the complexities of race and ethnicity, allowing us to find inner peace amidst external turmoil.

The Inner Journey: A Beginner's Guide

A Beginner's Guide for Meditating with Race is an invaluable resource that introduces both newcomers and seasoned practitioners to the art of mindful meditation. The path to racial harmony and understanding begins with turning our attention inward.

Often, external hardships related to race and racism can leave us feeling sore, tender, and vulnerable. This self-study practice guide emphasizes that mindfulness and meditation can be our allies in navigating these challenging emotions. By practicing mindfulness, we can develop the resilience to face racial distress with stability and confidence. 

This introductory journey begins by acknowledging that our thoughts and emotions are not permanent states, but experiences that need our care and attention. Through meditation, we learn to respect our own minds and work with them constructively.

A Course Preparing us for Personal Transformation

The guide offers a structured introductory course that lays the foundation for meditating with race. This course comprises six essential lessons, each providing valuable insights:

Establishing Meditation Intention: Establish a foundation that anchors your practice. Attending to Posture: Discover how posture affects your meditation experience.Reducing Distractions: Learn techniques to stay focused in the midst of a chaotic mind. Working with Racial Trauma: Attend to racial trauma through mindful meditation.Cultivating Ease: Find comfort and relaxation in your meditation practice.Maintaining Consistency: Tips to stay committed to your mindfulness journey. Guided Meditations: Your Healing Companions

In addition to the lessons, the guide provides access to eight guided meditations. These meditations offer practical tools to enhance your experience:

The Body Scan: A meditation to reconnect with your body and its sensations.Establishing Stillness in the Body: Techniques to find inner stillness.Attention to Breathing: Using the breath as an anchor.Noticing & Naming Practice: Observing thoughts and emotions without judgment.Standing & Walking Meditation: Practicing mindfulness in motion.Working with Trauma: Healing racial trauma through meditation.Self-Compassion Practice: Cultivating self-compassion and kindness.Equanimity: Centering in Wisdom: Finding balance and wisdom within.Embracing the Inner Journey

While meditation won't eliminate racial ignorance, anger, or ill will, it equips us with the tools to navigate these emotions wisely and compassionately. As we practice mindfulness, we become witnesses to our racial distress and conditioning without distortion or judgment. This self-awareness allows us to understand how racial perceptions shape our thoughts and feelings. We can identify where we get stuck and learn to let go, ultimately making better choices in our lives and relationships.

Mindfulness: A Lifelong Commitment

It's essential to recognize that mindfulness isn't a quick fix; it's a lifelong journey. Whether you're a beginner or an experienced practitioner, this guide provides practical wisdom to help you stay on course, finding ease in your own skin, regardless of external circumstances.

An Inner Journey Toward Harmony

Explore the transformative power of mindfulness and meditation in raising self-awareness, relieving racial distress, and promoting inner peace. Whether you're a beginner or an advanced practitioner, this course offers practical insights and techniques to navigate racial complexity with wisdom and compassion. Join us and begin your journey today, and you'll find that the true path to racial harmony starts within.

Enroll Today: https://ruthking.net/meditating-with-race/

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Enhancing Focus: Weaving racial intention into the fabric of mindfulness meditation

“Meditation helps us discover that our thoughts and feelings are not permanent states; rather, they are crucial experiences to attend to. The relief of racial distress can begin with working respectfully with our minds.”

Imagine that as you prepare to meditate, you set an intention to be more curious about your racial habits of mind. Such an intention directs awareness toward insight and opens you to a curiosity that softens the edginess of racial inquiry.

Articulating Your Intentions

Whether it's feeling relieved from racial tension, improving self-awareness, nurturing racial empathy and understanding, or cultivating gratitude, softly putting your intentions into words sharpens awareness. 

Begin your meditation session by gently reminding yourself of your intentions. This simple act aligns mind and heart, ensuring that your practice remains open and purposeful.

Intentions & Mindfulness

Our intentions hold the power to influence the quality of our lives. An aspiration to increase racial self awareness and alleviate racial distress is a radical act of self love that includes a deep desire for care for all beings, without exception. These are the seeds of mindful intentions. 

Mindfulness meditation and intention are kindred spirits. By weaving aspirations into the fabric of mindfulness practice—embracing the present without judgment, hatred, or elaboration—we are able to understand our racial habits of mind with more curiosity, sensitivity, and care.

The Science Behind Intentions

Intention-setting contributes to neuroplasticity, the brain's ability to reorganize and form new connections. Research indicates that when we set intentions, specific neural pathways in the brain are activated. These pathways are associated with attention, self-reflection, and emotional regulation, aligning perfectly with the goals of mindfulness meditation.

Regular practice of intention-based meditation strengthens these connections, making it easier to achieve mental clarity and focus. This neural strength is instrumental in cultivating our ability to recognize and address racial complexity with mindfulness and understanding.

Cultivating Ease in Day-to-Day Life

We are often challenged by racial triggers and distress in our day to day lives. When this happens, apply the following 5-steps practice to ripen a relationship with ease: 

Pause, take a few deep breaths, and turn your attention inward.Validate and welcome what you’re feeling.Cool your fires by taking a few deep breaths, softening with each exhale.Surrender and rest in the space between the exhale and inhale.Savor doing nothing for a few moments before doing something.

With practice, you're enhancing focus and enriching awareness, and ultimately your understanding and positive impact on social harmony. 

Deepen Practice: A Beginner's Guide to Meditating With Race

Transforming racism begins on the inside. If you would like to deepen your practice, sign up for A Beginner's Guide for Meditating with Race, our online self-study course. Or take advantage of our Meditation Bundle discount course offering.

Whether you're a beginner or an advanced practitioner of mindfulness, this guide provides practical insights to help you navigate your meditation journey with a focus on racial understanding.

Stay on course and be at ease in your own skin, moment-to-moment, regardless of your circumstances.

Enroll Here: https://ruthking.net/meditating-with-race/

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Kindness is the Water of Humanity

Chapter 8, Kindness Practice - p93-94. Excerpted from Mindful of Race: Transforming Racism from the Inside Out by Ruth King. Copyright © 2018 by Ruth King.

EXCERPT FROM Mindful Of Race Book Chapter 8 Kindness Practice “Kindness is the water of humanity. without water, we harden. Kindness is an attitude, an aspiration, and a practice. It is also core to spiritual life and religions. In the tradition I am trained in, we practice metta, which is the Pali word for unconditional kindness–friendliness and genuine acceptance. Metta is part of a constellation of heart practices referred to as the Brahmaviharas, or divine abodes.” 

“Metta is not a prayer for help from something or someone outside of ourselves. It is not an ego-driven kindness based on possessions, attachment, or grasping, nor is it overly sentimental. Rather, metta is a genuine desire for all beings, without exception, to be safe from inner and outer harm, to be healthy and content, and to live with ease….We all have ways of protecting ourselves from racial harm. we may strike out, walk out, or numb out, depending on the situation. Yet underneath all of our actions, despite appearances, is a shared and deep desire for kindness–to both offer it and to receive it. We all wish to be able to stand in the center of racial ignorance and distress without parking our hearts at the door.” p. 93

“The practice of meta supports us in priming the mind to embrace racial fear and distress in an atmosphere of nonresistance.”

…“Through this mindfulness practice, we are not trying to change what we are facing. Rather, we are freeing ourselves in the moment by loving ourselves, and we are training ourselves to embrace what is right here, right now, with friendliness and intentional goodwill. Most important, it is about maintaining goodwill towards all, even towards our antagonist. 

Racism is a heart disease, and it’s curable. Metta practice can serve as a blood transfusion, opening the heart, and purifying generational patterns of racial ignorance, innocence, and hatred.” p94

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Uniting for Racial Healing: Mindful Of Race Institute™ and IMCW Collaborate for a Better Future

We are excited to share a significant milestone in our collective journey toward racial healing and justice. The Mindful Of Race Institute is partnering with the Insight Meditation Community of Washington (IMCW) to expand the reach of our transformative teachings.

Together, we are excited in our effort to pave a path for long-term sustainability of the Mindful of Race Institute, ensuring that our aspiration to dismantle racism and cultivate a more inclusive and compassionate world endures for generations to come.

At the heart of this collaboration is the Brave Space for BIPOC Leaders Program, a 13-month leadership development initiative. This program empowers BIPOC leaders to explore the impact of internalized oppression, fostering personal growth and connection. Together, we will plant seeds of awakening from racism, creating a lasting legacy of change.

Our launch is August 25, and we need your financial gift to provide scholarships and program support to our 24 confirmed applicants.

We need your support to make this vision a reality. Your generous donations will fund scholarships and cover essential program costs. By contributing, you directly impact the lives of BIPOC leaders, enabling them to transform racial wounds and become even more powerful agents of change.

To donate, please visit our IMCW Donation page.

DONATE

Every contribution, regardless of size, brings us closer to a more just and equitable society.

We extend our deepest gratitude for your unwavering commitment to racial healing. Join us as we build a future of genuine connection and understanding.

Listen to how past participants in Brave Space have benefited from this experience in this VIDEO

With appreciation,

The Mindful Of Race Institute

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I’m An Endangered Species…

I am an endangered species, But I sing no victim's song. I am a woman I am an artist, And I know where my voice belongs. – Diane Reeves, American Jazz Singer 

My wife and I had planned to take this journey before COVID predominated our lives, so it's been a long time coming. The desire to visit the museums, especially in Montgomery, Alabama, was really bright in our hearts – to be on sacred ground and to know more deeply an area of the country that mimics the nation, and to understand why my people left the south running for their lives, surviving so that I can live and heal and talk about it. I want to share a bit of this journey and how I was impacted and the invitation that I think it brings to all of us, especially in bodies of color. 

Leaving for this trip, I expected my heart to be broken and opened again and again. You start off thinking you know something only to discover that experiences are like a bland soup until the flavors of wisdom are tasted. 

We visited the Tuskegee Airmen Museum in Alabama, and walked the Edmund Pettus Bridge in Selma, imagining Bloody Sunday. Some of you have probably taken this trip, so you probably know what I'm talking about. We also spent time in Birmingham and Atlanta. History was top of mind. The most profound and anticipated moments were in Montgomery. The National Memorial for Peace & Justice and the Legacy Museum together felt like an ocean of wisdom was tasted – swallowed in one gulp! 

The Legacy Museum is set up as a journey from enslavement to mass incarceration, and I think what it does most profoundly is show us how the past is still present. And even more deeply, not only does it show the journey of my people, if you will, it shows the systems that are in place that perpetuate the structure, the skeletal shape of racism in this country and in its foundation. So this was quite palpable. 

It was truly an immersive experience to be in this Legacy Museum. You might even call it a concentration practice, but not the kind of concentration practice where your sense of self is dissolved, but more you are in the belly of experience – the lived experiences of Black bodies. 

Just imagine – this is an 11,000-square-foot construction, part of the Equal Justice Initiative. It’s located on the site of a former warehouse where Black people were forced to labor in Montgomery, housed in this exquisite, visceral, highly stimulating, high-tech-savvy kind of layout. There wasn't anything linear about the layout of the building. So to be in it was to lose yourself and to surrender to all of the stimuli coming at you. There were times when I felt lost moving through space. Does this sound familiar? Sometimes it feels this way in our meditation practice, right? I felt lost and like, “Where the hell am I?” And, “What just happened?” It's like when I go home to my family and everybody's talking at the same time, but we understand everything being said. That kind of immersion, that kind of full-bodied experience happening all around you, above you, below you, inside of you, through you. 

African people did not have the dharma, per se, but they had something quite astounding, something I could feel when I moved through these exhibits, something real and wordless, that was bought to live and reborn in me as I moved through. I'm not sure how they did what they did. I can only imagine the sacrifices made by my ancestors that got me here in this seat able to talk about it. I don't know what made them endure. But they had something that I feel I need today. Something that reminds me what I'm made of. Something that supports me in sitting up straight with a strong core – this remembrance of the journey and this baptism into the truth of our legacy, inheritance, and brilliance. All that was then and now – the miracle and the promise. I’m humbled, grateful, and fierce with clarity! 

I am an endangered species, But I sing no victim's song. I am a woman I am an artist, And I know where my voice belongs. – Diane Reeves, American Jazz Singer 

Listen to the full talk: My Civil Rights Road Trip 

Photo Credit: Vaschelle Andre, Divine Photography

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