Zaid Ismail's Blog, page 7

Gratitude is not an attitude

What would life be like if you maximised every resource and every opportunity to which you have access? What would the quality of your relationships be if you built on everything that works instead of focusing on what’s not working? How would you feel about yourself if you looked at all you’ve overcome instead of […]

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You are your own worst victim

The victim mindset wreaks the most destruction and creates the worst of oppressors. The victim mindset is established when we find ourselves nursing wounds of experiences and betrayals that have long since passed. The victim mindset is nurtured when we are emotionally impacted by the behaviour of those who play no meaningful role in our […]

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Labelling humans

We dehumanise the human when we label their emotional experience as an illness. The moment we attach a label to a life experience, we focus on the label and discard the merits of the experience. We make people invisible when we deny the reality of their experience by suggesting that there is something clinically wrong […]

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It doesn’t make you stronger

The belief that what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger is a lie. It may prepare us for greater trials and opportunities, but we also grow impatient or intolerant when we find ourselves facing the same issues repeatedly. Life feels fulfilling and purposeful when we solve a problem and move on, but feels exceedingly frustrating […]

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Who smiles first?

Are you perhaps the village idiot in someone else’s life, or maybe they’re filling that role in yours? The answer to the question as to who puts a smile on the face of the village idiot is that no one does. No one puts a smile on the face of the village idiot because no […]

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Redirected rage

Our self-worth defines our behaviour in moments when we feel most unappreciated. Whether a toddler, a teen, or an adult, we are provoked towards anger and bad behaviour when we feel taken for granted or irrelevant to those who matter to us. It doesn’t mean that they must treat us badly. It could be as […]

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A good life

I sometimes wonder what a good life must look like. Is it a result of concerted efforts to create that wholesome, grounded space for yourself and those close to you, or is it a consequence of the willing participation and contribution from all involved? Is it feeling respected and appreciated for your contribution, or is […]

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You cannot make them rise

I’ve seen, and experienced first hand, the disaster that awaits when we convince ourselves that the demons that others deal with is our responsibility to resolve. Being kind, compassionate, and even understanding does not mean that we must own the decisions that others have made, especially when those decisions include them choosing to hold on […]

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The past sucks eggs

Life sucks when we take our experiences with others from the past and project it onto the relationship that we have with someone in our present. Sadly, this applies to all relationships, not just marriage or romantic partnerships. It applies to the parent-child relationship as much as it applies to spouses. Especially in times when […]

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You cannot not have expectations

The advice to live life without expectations to avoid disappointment is disturbingly misleading. If you’re striving to achieve this state of having no expectations of anyone, please stop. When we convince ourselves that we should not expect anything from others, we also have to convince ourselves that they should not expect anything from us. If […]

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