Lisa Unger's Blog, page 12

The Big Thrill Interview – Crazy Love You

By Dawn Ius

New York Times bestselling author Lisa Unger can usually pinpoint the exact moment, or germ for a novel. There’s a little zap, generally sparked by a poem, a slice of music, a news story, or in one instance, a piece of junk mail.

But in the case of her newest release, CRAZY LOVE YOU, Unger says she just woke up one day with an edgy, unstable voice in her head.

“I knew it wasn’t my voice because it was male, and he was a graphic novelist—a world I knew nothing about,” she says. “So I called up my friend Gregg Hurwitz, who has also written for graphic novels, and said, ‘Help! I don’t know anything about my character’s job.’”

Hurwitz immediately connected Unger with Judd Myer at Blastoff Comics who helped provide the important—and fascinating—background for Unger’s character, Ian.

Desperate to move on from the deadly family secrets he’s shared only with his best friend, Priss, Ian meets sweet, beautiful Megan, whose love inspires him to be a better man. But Priss doesn’t like change. Change makes her angry. And when Priss is angry, bad things happen.

“At its core, CRAZY LOVE YOU is about obsessive love, the twisting nature of reality and fiction, and going down the rabbit hole of addiction,” she says.

It is perhaps one of Unger’s darkest stories, which is saying a lot since it marks her thirteenth published novel. Not surprisingly, several of her thrillers have made the New York Times bestseller list. With more than 1.8 million copies of her books sold worldwide, Unger is well known by her fans to produce stories that deliver a gripping plot and deeply complex characters.

Characterization is important to Unger not only in what she writes, but also in what she reads and watches on television. A self-proclaimed Game of Thrones geek, and avid fan of shows like Homeland, Orphan Black, and True Detective, Unger says in terms of well-developed characters, there’s a lot to choose from these days.

“Don Draper from Mad Men is brilliantly layered and delicately revealed,” she says. “Carrie Mathison from Homeland is also fascinating and flawed and vulnerable. She manages to be powerful, unstable, and engaging, even when she’s really upsetting. True Detective is a great example of how a novelist’s sensibilities make for top-notch programming—the dialogue and character development there are as good as anything I’ve seen on the screen, small or large.”

And while Unger uses the television as a way to relax her overactive frontal lobe, she says today’s quality shows can be as inspirational to novelists as novelists have clearly been to television programming.

“Storytelling in any form will influence the storyteller’s ideas about character, dialogue, plot, and pacing,” she says. “We are all students and teachers of each other.”

That continued learning is critical because while the industry continues to change and evolve, Unger says the way she writes—most days in her office at a computer (though the floor will do in a pinch)—hasn’t changed, nor has her advice for those just getting started in the business.

“Write. Dig deep. Write more. Write every day. Get better,” she says. “Read the work of people you admire. If you are talented and you work hard, you will find your path, so be true to your voice, the other voices in your head, and the story in your heart.”

For Unger, writing has always played an important role in her heart—as a kid in school, working a full-time job, commuting, as a parent. There may be no romance, no ritual, to her process, but it is part of her life balance, a formula that admittedly requires constant tweaking and adjusting.

“I am a huge fan of Anne Lamott, and she suggests a course of ‘radical self care’ whenever things get off kilter,” Unger says. “Sometimes those things are as easy as closing the door to my office, or drinking a really big glass of water.”

And other times, it means stepping away altogether and cooking with her husband, the newly-crowned barbecue king. Together, they’ve come up with a host of signature dishes, including a fabulous jerk chicken, homemade Jamaican beef patties, and a mean marinara.

“We especially love to cook for our friends and family,” she says. “And we are definitely not afraid to experiment.”

With CRAZY LOVE YOU out in the wild, Unger is now working on her 2016 release, and experimenting with a young adult novel she’s teased us with for more than a year—but isn’t quite ready to talk about.

(Appears in ITW’s February 2015 The Big Thrill magazine)

Crazy Giveaway!

The release of CRAZY LOVE YOU is just two weeks away! And every year, I am overwhelmed with gratitude that I am able to do the only thing I ever wanted to do with my life. So, thank you, my loyal readers for making that possible.

To show my CRAZY LOVE for you, I’m doing an extra-special giveaway for anyone who orders my new novel before Valentines Day! William Dean, my favorite chocolatier, is putting together some very special treats for my readers! 100 lucky winners will receive from me a lovely box of beautiful chocolate hearts.  Because what says addiction and obsessive love better than chocolate!  If you’re familiar with William Dean Chocolates, you know you’re in for a major treat.  If you haven’t had William Dean before, get ready for your new obsession!  It’s not just chocolate — it’s art!

100 limited-edition boxes of CRAZY LOVE YOU Handmade Chocolate Hearts!

ENTRY FORM:

NameFirstLastShipping Address (For chocolate delivery)*Street AddressCityState / Province / RegionZIP / Postal CodeAfghanistanAlbaniaAlgeriaAmerican SamoaAndorraAngolaAntigua and BarbudaArgentinaArmeniaAustraliaAustriaAzerbaijanBahamasBahrainBangladeshBarbadosBelarusBelgiumBelizeBeninBermudaBhutanBoliviaBosnia and HerzegovinaBotswanaBrazilBruneiBulgariaBurkina FasoBurundiCambodiaCameroonCanadaCape VerdeCayman IslandsCentral African RepublicChadChileChinaColombiaComorosCongo, Democratic Republic of theCongo, Republic of theCosta RicaCroatiaCubaCyprusCzech RepublicDenmarkDjiboutiDominicaDominican RepublicEast TimorEcuadorEgyptEl SalvadorEquatorial GuineaEritreaEstoniaEthiopiaFijiFinlandFranceFrench PolynesiaGabonGambiaGeorgiaGermanyGhanaGreeceGreenlandGrenadaGuamGuatemalaGuineaGuinea-BissauGuyanaHaitiHondurasHong KongHungaryIcelandIndiaIndonesiaIranIraqIrelandIsraelItalyJamaicaJapanJordanKazakhstanKenyaKiribatiNorth KoreaSouth KoreaKosovoKuwaitKyrgyzstanLaosLatviaLebanonLesothoLiberiaLibyaLiechtensteinLithuaniaLuxembourgMacedoniaMadagascarMalawiMalaysiaMaldivesMaliMaltaMarshall IslandsMauritaniaMauritiusMexicoMicronesiaMoldovaMonacoMongoliaMontenegroMoroccoMozambiqueMyanmarNamibiaNauruNepalNetherlandsNew ZealandNicaraguaNigerNigeriaNorwayNorthern Mariana IslandsOmanPakistanPalauPalestinePanamaPapua New GuineaParaguayPeruPhilippinesPolandPortugalPuerto RicoQatarRomaniaRussiaRwandaSaint Kitts and NevisSaint LuciaSaint Vincent and the GrenadinesSamoaSan MarinoSao Tome and PrincipeSaudi ArabiaSenegalSerbia and MontenegroSeychellesSierra LeoneSingaporeSlovakiaSloveniaSolomon IslandsSomaliaSouth AfricaSpainSri LankaSudanSudan, SouthSurinameSwazilandSwedenSwitzerlandSyriaTaiwanTajikistanTanzaniaThailandTogoTongaTrinidad and TobagoTunisiaTurkeyTurkmenistanTuvaluUgandaUkraineUnited Arab EmiratesUnited KingdomUnited StatesUruguayUzbekistanVanuatuVatican CityVenezuelaVietnamVirgin Islands, BritishVirgin Islands, U.S.YemenZambiaZimbabweCountryWhere did you buy CRAZY LOVE YOU?*














Share on Facebook or Twitter using #CrazyLoveYou, and you’ll be entered twice!

Drawing on Valentines Day, February 14th.

Crazy Love You – Book Tour

Monday, February 9th

6:00 PM

Vero Beach Book Center

Discussion and signing.

Vero Beach, FL

Tuesday, February 10th

2:00 PM

Lighthouse Point Library

Sun Suntinel Books Editor Oline Cogdill interviews Lisa Unger

Murder on the Beach selling copies at the event.

Lighthouse Point, FL

6:00 PM

Jupiter Branch Library

Sun Sentinel Books Editor Oline Cogdill interviews Lisa Unger

Murder on the Beach selling copies at the event.

Jupiter, FL

Tuesday, February 12th

6:00 PM

Carlouel Yacht Club

Tampa Bay Times Book Editor Colette Bancroft interviews Lisa Unger

Barnes & Noble Clearwater selling copies at the event.

*Ticketed event. Limited seating. Contact pr@lisaunger.com

Clearwater Beach, FL

Friday, February 13th

6:00 PM

Barrel of Books & Games

Discussion and signing.

Mount Dora, FL

Tuesday, February 17th

7:00 PM

Inkwood Books

Discussion and signing.

Graphic novel theme, snacks and drinks provided (in honor of Ian Paine.)

Tampa, FL

Saturday, February 21st

7:30 PM

Blastoff Comics

Bestselling author (and Marvel writer) Gregg Hurwitz interviews Lisa Unger

Los Angeles, CA

Sunday, February 22nd

3:00 PM

Book Carnival

Discussion and signing

Orange, CA

Monday, February 23rd

7:00 PM

Vroman’s Bookstore

Discussion and signing

Pasadena, CA

Sunday, March 1st

2:00 PM

Location TBA

Blue Giraffes & Safety Harbor Library Book Clubs

Discussion and signing

Clearwater, FL

Tuesday, March 10th

11:30 AM

Belleair Country Club

Panhellenic Book Club Annual Luncheon

Keynote speaker and signing

Belleair, FL

Tuesday, April 21st

6:00 PM

Clearwater Yacht Club

Discussion and signing

Clearwater, FL

* More dates to be announced.

* Indie booksellers – signed copies are available through Simon and Schuster.

Crazy Love You – On Sale Soon!

CRAZY LOVE YOU goes on sale in just a month! I’m signing some pre-order hardcovers from independent booksellers for Simon and Schuster this morning. And they look fantastic! Ill be posting about book tour appearances next. Stay tuned!

First Love for “Crazy Love You”

Each year when early proofs are ready for the new book, copies go to fellow authors. I send some; my editor and agent send some. It’s always with humility and a bit of nervousness that I do this. I know how busy everyone is — looming deadlines, family, research, a towering stack of other galleys — and that often just receiving another book in the mail is an imposition.  Also, these copies always go to people I admire, respect, and whose work has inspired me. So, there’s a lot of angst and nail-biting when I’m making my list.

Inevitably, each year I am awed by how warm and generous people are with their time and their words of support. This year the extraordinarily talented authors Tess Gerritsen, Megan Abbott, and John Searles had some really lovely things to say about CRAZY LOVE YOU. Each of these writers is special, with totally unique gifts and talents.  They are all, without exception, stellar human beings. And each of them has inspired me with their extraordinary work. So I’m happy to share the very kind words they have for CRAZY LOVE YOU:

“Mesmerizing and unnerving from its first pages to its stunner of an ending, Lisa Unger’s Crazy Love You is a tale you won’t soon forget.”

—Megan Abbott, author of THE FEVER.

“CRAZY LOVE YOU kept me reading like a madwoman, desperate to find out what happens next. This is a haunting, compulsive tale that will have you under its spell long after you’ve closed the book.”

—Tess Gerritsen, NYT bestselling author of DIE AGAIN.

“When I tell you I could not put this book down, I mean I COULD NOT PUT THIS BOOK DOWN!!! It is dark and twisted and captivating and full of endless surprises. I promise you’re in for a wild ride.”

—John Searles, bestselling author of HELP FOR THE HAUNTED and STRANGE BUT TRUE

 

Goodreads Choice Awards 2014 Semifinals

IN THE BLOOD advances to the Semifinals in Goodreads Choice Awards 2014 for Best Book!

Voting is open!

This is a chance to vote again, even if you voted in the opening round. Thank you so much for your enduring support, and for spreading the word! (#GoodreadsChoice in Twitter and Facebook)

Goodreads Choice Awards 2014 Nomination!

IN THE BLOOD was just nominated for Best Book (Mystery & Thriller) in Goodreads Choice Awards 2014! I am over the moon, mostly because this is a readers choice award. So, thank you!

I would be honored, if you would vote for IN THE BLOOD. And it would mean the world to me if you could spread the word.

The Whispers at Midnight

At midnight, THE WHISPERS, the first in a series of three short stories featuring psychic Eloise Montgomery releases! Next month, THE BURNING GIRL will release, set ten years after The Whispers. And then in January, THE THREE SISTERS will be available, set ten years further still. I didn’t really plan it this way, it’s just how the stories told themselves. I see it as a novella in three parts, a deep dive into a character that has fascinated me for a number of years.

Eloise first turned up at the end of FRAGILE, and then had her own book with DARKNESS, MY OLD FRIEND. She then turned up again, much to my surprise, in CRAZY LOVE YOU (Feb. 2015). So when the idea of shorts came up, it seemed the perfect opportunity to explore this character who had so occupied my imagination.

I am excited about these stories because it’s a new form for me. I have done short fiction in the past, but not much. And I love the idea of telling a story in three parts, spanning almost the life of a character because it allows me to look at her in windows of time, glimpses of Eloise as a young woman dealing with tragedy, later struggling but finding her way, and finally … well, you’ll have to read, won’t you? Did you really think I was going to tell you how the story ends? It also allowed me to explore some things that happened off-stage so to speak in other novels.

It’s also a little scary, because it’s a bit new for me … to release three short stories, a serial really, over a period of time. They could stand alone, but they really do have to be read in order to get the full experience. I hate to be bossy pants about it. But, to get the really full experience, one could read The Whispers, followed by FRAGILE and DARKNESS, MY OLD FRIEND. From there, The Burning Girl, The Three Sisters, and then CRAZY LOVE YOU (Feb. 2015). Again, everything is written to stand alone so it’s totally fine to just read as you like, but if you really want to get to know Eloise and also enrich the experience of all the stories and novels, that’s how you could do it.

It’s also new to be releasing something for electronic only. I worry about my readers who still prefer the printed book. I do hope that, at some point, these stories will find their way into a bound novella. So, I’ll keep you posted on that, though it might be a ways off. The author doesn’t have as much to say about these things as you might imagine.

I do hope you enjoy the shorts! And thanks,as always,for reading!

The Story is in the Details

I love getting mail from my readers! Occasionally, I get a question that really makes me think. And when I write the answer, I wonder if other readers or writers might enjoy it, too. Here is an edited version of a letter I received from a retired math teacher turning his attention to writing for the first time at age 70. He was reading Beautiful Lies.

Dear Ms. Unger,

What I am impressed with most is the flow of your story and just the right amount of what I call “detail filler.” I don’t know what it’s actually called… details that flesh out the work but have little to do with the story… or does it? Some books I’ve read have turned me off by straying too deep into the fill and away from the substance of the story. You do a great job of keeping the balance.

I am working on a couple of short story ideas that are fun to work on, but I am terrible at the methods of expanding the extra details in a way that seems somewhat effortless to you.

Was it just practice for you or did it come naturally or both?

Anyway, I am thoroughly enjoying your techniques. I feel inspired to continue my writing. And hope to emulate the balance that you strike in your work.

Sincerely,

T

I hear this quite a bit from writers who are just starting out: How much detail? It always reminds me of when my daughter started swimming lessons. For the longest time, she knew how to kick her legs, reach her arms, and blow bubbles. But until she figured out that all the pieces worked together, she couldn’t swim. Only when everything clicked did she become the little fish she is today.

Here’s my answer to Tony…

Hi, Tony,

Thanks for reading! And thanks so much for the very kind words.

I’ve been writing all my life, so in many ways it did come naturally to me. It has always been the place where I best express myself. Of course, at this point, I also have years of education in the craft, as well as daily writing. So I’d say it’s a combination of a natural inclination, drive, and years of practice.

The act of story telling is not just about character, though character is king. And it’s not just about plot. A writer creates a world for the reader, and it’s the details that bring that world to life. The details build character, and flesh out plot. What we see, hear, feel, and experience in any given moment is the essence of life, and the essence of story telling. Plot, character, setting, place, and voice are all woven together to create story, nothing necessarily separate from the whole. If something seems like “filler” it might be that it’s not advancing character or story, as everything must.

So, yes, do keep writing. And of course keep reading. But writing is something at which you will improve just by doing it every day. Write a story, read your story. Rewrite. You’ll see that every draft will be better than what came before.

I’ll go a little further with this…

I had a chat with Hank Phillipi Ryan earlier this year where we discussed scene. Every scene should advance character or plot, preferable both, otherwise it has to go. The same goes for everything else, including those hours of research you did on, say, taxidermy or your beautiful description of the lake house. No readers wants an information dump, no matter how much you want to share what you learned. And unless that description of the house has real relevance, resist the urge to show off your brilliant prose.

Remember that Story (yes, with a capital S) is about your readers; it’s not about you. It’s not about how much you’ve learned about your subject, and it’s not about how well you can describe something. It’s about how that exhaustive research and your beautiful writing enhances the story for the reader. The act of writing is an act of pure giving. Take yourself out of the equation and give everything to the person holding the book in her hands.

For more on craft, see posts in THE CRAFT category on my blog.  And here are some of my favorite books on writing:

On Writing by Stephen King

(Amazon, B&N, Indiebound)

Bird by Bird by Anne Lamott

(Amazon, B&N, Indiebound)

The Lie that Tells a Truth by John Dufrense

(Amazon, B&N, Indiebound)

Story by Robert McKee

(This is about screen writing, but it has a lot of relevance for all story telling.)

(Amazon, B&N, Shop%20Indie Bookstores" target="_blank">Indiebound)

Parenting, Love and Writing

Ah, the mommy-wife-writer balance! In her insightful and intelligent interview, Dr. Psych Mom asked some really personal questions, so I gave some really personal answers about balancing parenting and work…

1. How do you make time for your husband while raising a daughter and being an awesome best selling author?

Hmmm … interesting question, and the answer is complicated, as well as constantly changing. First of all, thanks — although, I don’t think of myself as a best selling author. My husband Jeff and my daughter Ocean always come first when I’m setting priorities. As I’m trying to decide what’s important on any given day, it’s family first, then work, then everything else. So that helps a little, to compartmentalize that other identity. Lisa Unger the author is not Lisa, Jeff’s wife and Ocean’s mom.

Still, Jeffrey refers to himself as Number Three. Since we got our labradoodle Jak Jak (fur baby), Jeff claims that he’s been demoted to Number Four – Ocean, work, fur baby, then Daddy. (Aw, it’s not that bad.) But, honestly, he does often get what’s left of me at the end of the day. That’s just the season of our life, though. As working parents, we often come last or not at all in the equation.

But we have set priorities for ourselves as a couple, too. We have almost always had Saturday date night. (Not every week, but most weeks.) We get a sitter and we go out – alone or with friends. Ocean has never slept in our bed and she has always had a very early bedtime (because she is a crazy early riser). So we have managed to keep some time and place that is just for us as a couple. We consider our happy marriage to be part of the foundation of our daughter’s life, so we try to honor that for her as much as for us. And we really like each other! We’re best friends. It’s not SO hard to make time for someone you love so much.

2. What’s your favorite parenting stage? Least favorite?

My favorite parenting stage is right now. My daughter is eight going on nine and she is truly awesome – smart, funny, lovely to be around. Yeah, she’s a little whiny, a little stubborn, persistently trying to get me to buy her things and we have bedtime issues. But she’s so curious and interested in doing things with us, and such a little smarty. I just love talking to her, doing things with her, listening to all her wildly creative thoughts. I totally worship her — and doesn’t she know it.

I know there’s this tendency to think of parenting in stages, because every phase is so totally different. Still, there are really beautiful, joyful and blissed out moments, as well as really miserable ones at every point in your life as a parent – just as that’s true of life in general. If I had to pick the most difficult stage, for me it was the year between 6 months and 18 months. Sure, there was all this quiet, blissed-out love time, and she was so perfect and smelled so good. I breast fed for an eternity (like 18 months, yeah one of those), so my daughter was pretty chilled out (though I was a human binky).

But I was mega-stressed out, worried all the time; everything seemed so life and death. She seemed so fragile – and then when she started walking, so clumsy! The falls were spectacular. I felt like I was perpetually grabbing her back from the edge of disaster – my body constantly flooded with cortisol and adrenaline. My vivid writer’s imagination – in which I can imagine the worst-case scenario in stunning detail – was not an asset to me at that time.

Also, I was struggling with the mommy-writer balance. Prior to O’s arrival, nothing ever rivaled my desire to write. And I never lost that passion; I just had a brand new one. So when I was with her, I was thinking about my work. When I was writing, I just wanted to be with her. So I had a really hard time finding a happy place. Adding to that stress, I am the main breadwinner for my family (and it was a new role at that time) – so I was juggling all the new mom stress plus all the provider stress. And it was a pretty heavy load.

But as kids do, Ocean got older. She became more in charge of herself, stopped reaching for meat cleavers and making a beeline for every electrical socket and busy street. I grew more confident as a mother, and better at finding balance between work and life. She started pre-school, and time expanded a bit. I learned that every stage — with all its joys and miseries — passes in a heartbeat. It doesn’t seem like that in the moment; but in retrospect, I think I could have chilled out a bit.

3. What are your strengths and weaknesses as a mom?

I am totally present for Ocean; that’s my number one strength. I work around her schedule. She has traveled with me all over the world for book tours. I start work as early as possible so that I can be with her in the afternoons – either shuttling her around to her various activities or just hanging out doing our projects, crafts, watching a movie, whatever. I’m proud of that.

On the other hand, I think I tend to be a bit too soft. I do things for her that she could and should be doing herself – like brushing her hair, and putting out her clothes. Part of that has to do with that she’s my only, and there isn’t anyone smaller around who needs me more. But also, it has to do with my not always seeing her as someone who can do things for herself. I have to catch myself, and encourage her to be in charge of the things she can handle. Otherwise, there’s this line between taking care of your kid, and communicating that you don’t think she can take care of herself in certain ways. What is caring at a certain age becomes undermining, and robs her of the pride she takes in accomplishing things.

Also, I’m in my head a lot. It’s an occupational hazard. Sometimes I worry that she sees me as this absent-minded person who drifts around thinking about stories, not finishing sentences, more interested in a fictional world than I am in the real one. But then I see her doing the same thing, getting that blank day-dreamy stare. So it might be a weakness, or it might just be who I am. And she’s a lot like me — so maybe that’s okay.

I think it’s important to acknowledge that when we become parents, we don’t cease to be people. We’re wonderful and deeply flawed, sometimes struggling, sometimes doing everything right, and sometimes doing it all wrong. I think just loving your kids and being there for them goes a long way toward balancing out whatever failings we have in the moments of our lives together. And, if not, I’m prepared to pick up the tab when she comes to see you, Dr. Rodman.

4. I see from other interviews that when you met your husband, it was love at first sight. Tell me a little bit about how you complement each other as partners and parents.

Because Jeff is such a relaxed, easy-going guy, I always assumed that I’d be the hard case, and he’d be the softie. Instead, he’s more of the disciplinarian. He’s the one to insist that Ocean clears her plate, and gets her own glass of water, and cleans up her room. He has been the one to try to set boundaries so that I can work when I need to, where I have trouble setting them for myself. You might be getting that I’m kind of a wimp when it comes to Ocean. So we definitely balance each other out in that way.

When Ocean was about a year old, Jeff left his IT job to come work full-time for the corporation we’d established. Of course, the work of being an author is solitary. But there’s also a business component – so Jeff handles the accounting, a good deal of marketing, the website, posting my blogs, and he helps with the social networks.

We thought this would be the perfect situation. I would work in the mornings, while he was on with Ocean, and then he’d work in the afternoons, and I’d have the rest of the day with the munchkin. So that’s another way we balance things, as parents and as co-workers. Of course, there are a lot of challenges when two people live together, parent and work together. Things don’t always go well, and there have been lots of highs and lows. But we’ve been happily married for 14 years, parenting for 8 (almost nine), and working together for 7. So far, no one’s been hauled away in a body bag. So I’ll call that success.

5. What are your five favorite books to read to/with kids?

Oh, gosh, reading with Ocean is one of the biggest joys of my life. I am not exaggerating when I say that we have read to Ocean every single night of her life since the day we brought her home from the hospital. And now she’s a rock star reader in her own right.

There are way too many beloved books to limit to just five. When she has was really little, we read and memorized and recited all the Sandra Boynton books – Your Personal Penguin, The Going to Bed Book, Snuggle Puppy, Belly Button Book.

As Ocean got older, we blazed through the entire Mo Willems library– our absolute favorite being The Pigeon series, though Elephant and Piggie, and Knuffle Bunny are WAY up there on the all time favorites.

In the last couple years, reading has just gotten so much fun for us because we’re discovering new books together. The Harry Potter books are top favorites – they’re a bit dark and a tad old for her, but Ocean is a very sophisticated reader and doesn’t scare easily. This past summer our top reads were: Wonder by RJ Palacio and The One and Only Ivan by Katherine Applegate – both excellent books for middle grade readers. Ocean also reads on her own, currently loving The Book of Elsewhere series, and she just finished Doll Bones by Holly Black. Books are a huge part of our life together; so the list is always growing.

6. Give me one thing you’ve never told another interviewer. Please.

Actually, I don’t think I’ve ever told any of the above to another interviewer. The mommy-wife-writer balance doesn’t come up as much as I’d like, though I have done a bit of blogging about it. In fact, I wrote an essay that got shopped around to the various women’s magazines and never got published because as one editor put it, “the life of a full time writer is not relatable to our readers” – which actually hurt my feelings a little. (There, that’s another thing I never told another interviewer.) I’m blessed to do what I love and make a living at it. But I’m a working mom like lots of other women. And I imagine my struggles are relatable to any mother with a career. Most of us no longer have only one traditional role.

What I try to remember when it gets chaotic is that it’s a blessing to have a life so full. Yes, the balancing of our children, our husbands, our careers (and ourselves!) sometimes seems like a crushing, Gen-X crisis. And, some days, it is. Still I know that I wouldn’t give up any of it – not my gorgeous, funny, firecracker of a daughter, not my cute, supportive, driving, cooking husband, not my nutty career. I look back on how stressed I was during that early phase of Ocean’s life, and think: Wow! I was really a basket case. And now I can’t even remember why. I have a feeling that I’m going to look back on this middle phase – the whole kid, career, marriage phase, and think: It was the whole rainbow of experience, life in all its shades and hues. Too bad you can only see all the colors from a distance.