Rachel Rener's Blog, page 5

It's official: Stephen King and I are pretty much besties. (And I've done the math to prove it.)

That's right, you heard me. The Magazine of Fantasy & Science Fiction just published an unprompted review* of INKED in their column, Books to Look For. Now, this magazine has been around for millions and billions of years, having been founded alllll the way back in 1949. They were also the original publisher of Stephen King's Dark Tower, which helped skyrocket him to his current pillar of greatness. 

How does this make the two of you besties? You might be wondering.

Thank you so much for asking; I will tell you.



Be forewarned, this is where the math gets a little tricky, but I'll do my best to lay it out step by step:

If you take 75 - the number of years The Magazine of Fantasy & Science Fiction has been around for, multiplied by the 5 Dark Tower stories that  were originally published in The Magazine of Fantasy and Science Fiction, then divide by 76 (Stephen King's age as of today), then take the square root of that product and subtract 5.1112781 (for reasons that go without saying), and then raise it to the power of 8 (the number of books in the completed Dark Tower series, you get 8,357,135. 

Which, when written digitally, spells out:

Or, "BESTIES".

As you can clearly see, the math is ironclad and incontrovertible and DEFINTELY doesn't need any checking by, you know, actual mathematicians:

___________

((√((2024-1949) x 5) ÷ 76)-5.1112781)^8 = 8,357,135

(And yes, I definitely wrote out that equation perfectly, so don't you dare @ me on #MathTok and embarrass yourself!)

So there you have it; Stephen King and I, having both been mentioned in the same magazine, are officially besties. I'll let you all know when our upcoming collaborative novel will be released!! (Hopefully it won't be too scary since I'm kind of a baby but I'm sure he'd be okay with taking the back seat on the plot and swapping out psychopathic clowns for hunky incubi.)

*Fantasy and Science Fiction Review:

Apparently it will be published in the Summer 2024 issue, which I shall be laminating and framing and - if the mortuary allows for it - taking to my grave!

Oh and PS, the proof for the Revamped Lightning Conjurer Complete Series Omnibus just arrived and it is sexy AF!

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(Here's the link to the video just in case it doesn't load properly!)

Isn't it gorgeous? I just know my new best friend Stephen King would be so proud of how it turned out

GIVEAWAY ALERT!

Here's how to enter: After perusing the big book sale the participating authors are hosting, you can finalize your entry here. The winner gets a crazy number of prizes, including a $20 Amazon Gift Card plus 16 urban fantasy books and swag:

(Yep, that lovely pink book is mine and the first (and possibly last) time I'm offering it in a giveaway!)

Thanks for being here and have a great Tuesday!!

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*If you're reading this on Goodreads or on my blog, be sure to sign up for my newsletter to get the most exciting updates sent directly to your inbox!

Monster *BLEEPS*, Haggis, & also my PA might need an exorcἱsm?!

DISCLAIMER: I am not responsible for any balderdash, gobbledygook, or idiotic mumbo-jumbo you may find in this newsletter since I just got back from Scotland late last night. Also, there may be typos. Sue me.

Happy Monday! (Or Tuesday, if jetlag smacks me in the face and I don't get this sent 'til tomorrow ) Now, before we get distracted by monster 's and exorcisms, make sure you scroll to the bottom of this email for a super cool urban fantasy giveaway that includes a bunch of signed books, including a certain pink beauty!

Okay, now where was I? Oh, right - Scotland!

Britt, Aaron, and I got there a few days before the convention (and immediately after Dragon Con, in my case) to explore Edinburgh, but I seriously regret doing that. You see, we ended up venturing into these dark, spooky underground tunnels that housed hundreds - if not thousands - of people over the centuries in what were pretty appalling conditions. Apparently, the spiritual activity down there is so high, a coven of witches took up residence there a few decades ago to harness that supernatural energy into channeling their spells. This is the altar where they practiced, which has been preserved behind locked bars:

In general, the ghosts and witches got along - except for in one room. That room housed a spirit so malignant, the witches had to create a circle of stones to trap it inside. 

So what does Britt do?

Yup, you guessed it.

After she ignored my pleas to stay out of the summoning circle, I reminded her that demonic possession is NOT a valid reason for paid time off. She apparently didn't like that, because her head started spinning around as radioactive green goo spewed violently from her mouth.

(In other words, a typical Tuesday )

Anyway, even though Britt was kind of agitated and exclusively speaking ancient Greek from that moment forward, we had a great time exploring some of the gorgeous sites of Edinburgh. We actually saw some of Scotland's elusive blue skies, too!

And then came RARE!

I was so incredibly excited and honored to sit next to my new "Bookstie" and emotional support author, Annette Marie (who also happens to be my favorite UF author of all time)! Her team and mine had so much fun together! Our PAs are now besties, as are our husbands

On the other side of my table was Opal Reyne, a positively delightful Aussie who has a penchant for monster smut. And I don't mean shifter romance, where the raunchy stuff takes place while the werewolf / leopard / silverback gorilla is in his hunky and muscular human form, but, like, MONSTER smut:

And because she's a brilliant marketer, Opal has had all sorts of custom x-rated artwork commissioned for her series. But she didn't just stop at two-dimensional art. She ventured ALL the way into - ahem -  "artistically explicit three dimensional sculptures."

(If you don't want to see HIGHLY detailed monster d*ldos, you should definitely scroll past this next part.)

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Apparently the tentacles wrap around the head like alien face huggers, so that's fun! At one point I ran over to Annette's table waving a massive jiggling d*lgo and shouting, "Look, Annete! Giant monster c*cks!" To which she paled slightly and said something along the lines of, "That's a big ol' nope from me, thanks!" (Only to wander over to Opal's table a few minutes later)

I haven't read much (read: any) true monster smut. Have any of you read Opal's work, or any other books like hers? If so, what did you think?

Speaking of purple tentacled monster appendages, I have GOT to remember that people actually read these newsletters. Do you know how many gals came up to me and asked me about stuffing fish in my knickers or hoisting myself into filing cabinets? (I'll take "An uncomfortably high number of people" for $500, Alex!)

But that's one of the many joys of RARE; everyone there is a little bit unhinged in all the best ways. For example, I had folks asking me to sign various parts of their bodies, gifting me crocheted d*cks and g-string bookmarks, and telling me to write "whatever" I wanted in their autograph books. Which I of course obliged:

And before you all yell at me for defacing their belongings, here are a few of the presents I was given:

I was just driving the same speed limit as the rest of the speeding traffic, Officer!

For those of you who are still here and haven't immediately unsubscribed, we have a number of fun goodies that just arrived and/or restocked in my shop!

My favorite is probably the Topie hoodie, which is so lightweight and incredibly soft!! You can get a closer look of some of the new items in this video I made that TikTok only showed to 6 people. (WTF, Tok?! It's not like I was talking about monster d*cks! (Er......this time.))

SURPRISE GIVEAWAY: The first person to reply to this with a piggy emoji () gets a full set of 5 Topie pins for FREE in thanks for actually reading the newsletter!!

As a reminder, we are getting a new shipment of holographic rainbow Gilded Blood omnibuses, Bone Whisperer Special Edition Duologies, and a brand-new revamped Lightning Conjurer Deluxe Omnibus in early November.

What we are NOT getting is another shipment of gold Gilded Blood omnibuses. Much like gold blood, I'd like to keep the gilded version of the special edition special and rare. So if you've been eyeing those golden, glittering sprayed edges, the time to buy is now!

(Don't mind the mess on the floor. This summer as been pure, unbridled chaos.)

And now for that giveaway I was telling you about! Basically, you follow all the authors listed here on Instagram. (And while you're on the page, you can peruse the big book sale all of us are hosting!)

After that, you go finalize your entry here.

The winner gets a crazy number of prizes, including a $20 Amazon Gift Card plus 16 urban fantasy books and swag:

(Yep, that lovely pink book is mine and the first (and possibly last) time I'm offering it in a giveaway!)

Okay, my brain is grumbling for sleep and my stomach is grumbling for food, even though it's 3 pm and I shouldn't be needing either of those things. 

Have a wonderful week ahead, be well, and happy reading!❤️



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A Word from our Queen Helper Bee  

WOW! I just have to take a moment to share how grateful I am right now. Being able to travel with Rachel (and Aaron) to Scotland for RARE Edinburgh and be right back in the assistant element of a book convention like when I first met Rachel was such a surreal experience. Add playing tourist and being our goofy a$$ selves in another country was such a highlight for me! I mean come on, castles, catacombs and red telephone booths?! Yes please!

ps. Those red doors were A LOT heavier than I thought they would be! Oh and, pretty sure I brought the sunshine there - grateful for not needing half of what I packed or having to fix my hair due to "rainy Scotland" LOL.

Meeting readers in person, and hearing their stories of how much Rachel’s books have influenced their lives, brought and back their love for reading was so cool. The gifts were hilarious and beyond thoughtful and I thought it was really really cool when a few of you even asked to have me in your photos too! I was taken aback a little, NGL. I love how much you’ve all welcomed me into the Rachel world and I can’t wait for more adventures to come.

Getting to meet Annette Marie and her team, and literally making a new bestie with her PA was SO much fun! Us PA's gotta stick together and Francine is an absolute delight! I'm already looking forward to our next convention together.

Also, knowing that while we were abroad all the orders were being handled with the utmost care was just icing on the cake and I couldn’t be more thankful for our new fulfillment coordinator, Dani! Thanks for holding down the fort while we were gone babe! You’re truly amazing and we appreciate having you on the team more than you know!

That’s all I have for now so thank you for having me!

XoXoX

Britt

Have you ever seen a Sandworm light a for a Disney princess?

No? Well, keep reading!

Dragon Con has been a wild, nerdy, extravagant carnival of debauchery and pocky.

For those of you who have never attended, the convention takes place in the heart of downtown Atlanta in not just one but six different hotels. It attracts upwards of 85,000 people from all over the globe, not to mention a few tens of thousands more who show up in their finest cosplay and wait for the unticketed after-parties.

I've had a very full schedule of panels so I've sadly not been able to stick around for the late-night shenanigans, but I have still managed to:

Disrupt a parade by running across the street to get to a panel on time (It just kept going and going!)

Made 6 different rooms of people yell BOOBS! at the top of their lungs (to make sure the other nearby panels all had sufficient FOMO)

Get locked in a stairwell (Not my fault.)

Receive a BEAUTIFUL crocheted potato (with prominent buttcheeks on its posterior) from an amazingly generous reader

Watch Alan Tudyk give a limp banana to a fan (She was thrilled)

Offend a prominent urban fantasy writer during our panel by spilling a cup of water in my lap and telling the audience, "Ack, I've wet myself!" while she was monologuing about her book. (She did not find this funny.)

Clandestinely play Tic Tac Toe with A.J. Hartley during a live panel (and lost)

Hang out with Jim Butcher without putting my foot in my mouth (Yet.)

I've also gotten to meet some wonderful authors and readers in-person, see some of the coolest cosplays I've ever seen, AND witness a sandworm light a cigarette for Belle!

Here are a few more of my favorite photos from the weekend:

Dr. Doom is my little brother, Joey, who braved 100 degree weather in a tin can made out of airplane sheet metal!

Hanging out with authors who are far more intelligent than me (including Kim Harrison!) at the "Scientists Who Ditched Math for Magic" Panel

<3

I even made Jim Butcher laugh - and I'm 97% sure it was with me, not at me!

Speaking of the Dresden Files, if you love paranormal PI's with humor and (a surprising amount of heart), my friend and Pilfered Quill co-writer David Green just released the newest installment in his Hell in Haven series and I hear it's the best one yet. I personally don't believe it since I've read the others and there's pretty much no way they can be topped. But we shall see, Mr. Green. We Shall see.

Do yourself a favor and go nab your Labor Day binge-read now!

I have one more panel tonight and then tomorrow my husband and I are headed to the Georgia Aquarium for a behind the scenes tour. After that, we are off to Scotland for RARE! (Britt is coming too!!) Wanna know the coolest part? While Britt and I are away, we have a brand new FULFILLMENT MANAGER who will be handling orders! You heard it here: the Rachel Rener dream team is up to three!

Have a wonderful holiday weekend!

Fish Heads Do Not Go In Pants (or so my PA has just informed me )

Happy Friday, Friends!!

As you know, I try not to spam your inboxes unless I have interesting things or big announcements to share with you, and this newsletter is no different! I have tons of exciting stuff to tell you, so please stick with me until the end!

But first, I should probably explain that subject line. You see, Britt And I were at Fort Collins Comic Con this past weekend, where we had an absolute blast hanging out with readers, convention participants, and fellow authors! One such author, Hayley Rae Johnson, joined Britt and I for dinner at a sushi restaurant. I'm not going to lie to you; sake was involved. And, well, one thing led to another, and before I knew it I was telling Britt and Hayley about the time I lived in Japan for 6 months. I was a traveling English teacher in Machida, Tokyo, and had four elementary schools (and something like 2,000 students) under my wing. What that meant is that anytime I showed up to teach for the day, the students would get really excited and would request that I eat lunch with them in the cafeteria. (Super cute, I know.) I want to preface this story by saying that I love Japanese cuisine, which IMO boasts some of the tastiest, most innovative dishes on the planet.

That said, I don't love all Japanese food. For example, I would sometimes see things like this being plated on my tray:

Those are baby mackerel - a Japanese staple - and they are served exactly like that: bones, scales, eyeballs, and all.

Now, Japanese people are very particular about their food and show it a great deal of respect while eating: Not pouring soy sauce on rice or shoving their chopsticks in their food to prop them upright, for example. It's also very important in Japanese culture that you finish every bit of food on your plate, down to the last grain of rice.

Chopstick finagling aside, that's not exactly an easy feat when you have the pallet of a picky toddler and a strong gag reflex. But I also couldn't risk getting in trouble or dishonoring myself, or worse, offending their local cultural norms, by not eating all of the food on my tray.

So, anyway, long story short, on more than one occasion I would randomly jerk my attention to the ceiling, pull a funny face like I had just seen Godzilla walk by the second story window, wait for all of the students to turn and inspect aforementioned giant reptile... And then shove the dried mackerel in my pants to avoid the very real possibility of regurgitating fish eyeballs.

And no, I will not be answering further questions about any post-prandial activities regarding the trouser fish.

Now that we've taken a moment to revel in my past humiliation, I have some cool book stuff to share - specifically special edition book stuff!

First and foremost, The Lightning Conjurer Series Special Edition is getting a SEGGSY makeover in the form of silver foil and sprayed edges!

The Lightning Conjurer series was my very first book baby and I'm so excited to show it even more love as I venture into the super fun world of special edition books.

***NOTE: If you already bought the first version of the special edition and are also eyeing the newly-revamped version, please shoot me an email and I'll make you a special invoice with $40 off and free shipping (a $50 discount in total). I never want my readers - especially those who have supported me the longest - to feel put out when I release new products. You guys are my reason for writing, after all!

If you haven't read TLC yet, you can read the complete series for $9.99 (or FREE with a KU membership!) Or you are also welcome to preorder the special edition, which we expect to arrive in early November! Just select "Preorder - REVAMPED Collectible Hardcover Omnibus" from the drop-down menu and you'll be among the first to receive your copy this fall!

In case you missed my FB poll yesterday,I have some exciting news about the Gilded Blood Deluxe Edition Omnibus as well!

Demand has been so steadily high, we're looking to get a warehouse and dedicated fulfillment team for 2025! This means we'll be able to handle more orders faster, and I'll have WAY more time to write, which will be fantastic! The downside, and something we've been discussing in-depth, is that hand-signing books will be much harder. I have Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome, the same joint-affecting condition Rebecca Yarros has. Currently, I can handle signing 10-20 books a day as there are breaks in between. But I won't be able to sign 5,000+ tip-in sheets to be sewn into the books ahead of time without doing serious damage to my wrist. But here's the good news: after polling you guys and getting some BRILLIANT suggestions, I have decided to do an embossed gold foil stamp of my signature on the title page. It'll cost a bit extra (for me) but will be so worth it in the end! So thank you so much for helping me puzzle that out AND come up with a really fun and beautiful solution! Until then, my local team will be using transparent matte bookplates that are hand-signed by me and look REALLY nice :)

✨IMPORTANT NOTE✨

I have decided that I will NOT be doing another print run of the gold-foiled edition. It's my favorite of the two variants and has the most meaning, given Talia's gold blood. Therefore, I think it's only appropriate that it remains rare and elusive, kind of like Gilded Blood :) So if you've been eyeing the gold version, I recommend you order it as soon as possible because I don't expect to have any left in stock by 2025.

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Lastly, don't forget we're doing our big SCRATCH 'N' DENT SALE on holographic rainbow omnibuses, which will only last as long as our limited stock allows. We're talking BIG discounts (up to $40 off) for some seriously minor damage! So get on that while you can!!

Well friends, that's about it for now :)This Wednesday I head down to Atlanta for Dragon Con, where my schedule is insanely chock-full

Once Dragon Con is over, I'll be heading directly to Edinburgh, Scotland for RARE. And then after that comes FanX in Salt Lake City and Mile Hi Con in Denver. I hope to see you at one or more of those events!(BTW, Australia readers, I'll be heading to Sydney for BABE in May of 2025 and cannot wait to see you there!!)

Be well and have a wonderful weekend ahead!

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Rubbing Elbows with Jim Butcher (Dresden Files)

Hi friends!

I'm keeping this NL extra short and sweet because the Time of Insanity is officially upon us. (Or, well, upon me.) As convention season ramps up to full swing, I'll pretty much be in a different state/country every weekend for the next 6 weeks! (WHAT HAVE YOU DONE, PAST RACHEL?!)

This week, for example, I'm heading to World Con in Glasgow, Scotland to sign books, attend a couple of panels, and hang with some of my favorite book-loving Europeans! After that will be Fort Collins Comic Con, followed by a tiny break, and then Dragon Con in Atlanta (followed by RARE in Edinburgh, Scotland (and yes, I am going to Scotland twice in one month)).

Speaking of Dragon Con, you wanna know what's really, really, REALLY cool/terrifying? I just got my panel schedule, and it's a doozy. First of all, I'm confirmed on five panels and a backup for several others. But the craziest thing of all is that I'll be on multiple panels with JIM BUTCHER, worldwide bestselling author phenomenon of the Dresden Files.

(Please excuse me while I go hyperventilate into a paper bag.)

I also get to talk to a room of people with my brother, Joey (DM of the popular D&D podcast, Of Dice and Friends), about world-building and magic systems in fantasy and D&D! 

Broseph and Me in Moab!

If you're planning on going to Dragon Con at the end of the month, here's my (tentative) schedule!

Title: Supernatural, Super Stories

Description: Vampires, werewolves, ghosts - paranormal is back in YA in a big way. Let's talk about the books about things that go bump in the night.

Panelists: TBD

Time: Friday, 01:00 p.m.

Location: YA Lit track

Title: 15-Minute Author Mentor Session

Description: A chance for budding authors to talk one-on-one with a successful industry professional about business, promotion, the writing process, & career advice. Sign up in the Writer's Track. (Embassy E/F)

Panelists: Jessica Cage, Todd J McCaffrey, Alex Shvartsman, Rachel Rener

Time: Friday 04:00 pm

Location: Embassy G Hyatt (Length: 1 Hour)

Book signing at The [Fantasy] Gather:

When: Friday, August 30th, 2024

Time: 08:00 pm to Midnight

Location: International Ballroom, Hyatt Hotel

Title: Scientists Who Ditch the Math for the Might of Magic

Description: Coming from a wide range of science backgrounds, our panelists will talk about what drove them into the tender loving arms of magic and how it has held them their with all its might.

Panelists: Milton J. Davis, Kim Harrison, Rachel Rener, Michael J Allen, Robert W Ross(M), Katie Cross

Time: Saturday 11:30 am

Location: Embassy CD Hyatt (Length: 1 Hour)

Title: How Hot is Too Hot? How Violent is Too Violent for YA

Description: One of the hottest markets these days is YA fiction. But, where does a writer draw the line with sex, violence, & other "mature" topics?

Panelists: TBD

Time: Saturday 04:00 pm

Location: Writer's Track

Title: Building Better Worlds: The Sorcery of Storytelling

Description: Come join international bestselling author (and DnD voice actor!) Rachel Rener as she sits down with Joey Rener - acclaimed Dungeon Master from the popular Dnd Podcast, Of Dice and Friends - to discuss the magic and wonder of worldbuilding, word-smithing, and magic-casting. All ages welcome!

Panelists: Rachel Rener(M), Joey Rener

Time: Saturday 08:30 pm

Location: Galleria 7 Hilton (Length: 1 Hour)

Title: Magical Artifacts & Items of Power

Description: Artifacts and imbued items have long been a staple of fantasy. Our panelists will discuss how they use this feature within their own work, and how it has evolved over time.

Panelists: Jim Butcher, Richard Kadrey, Rachel Rener, D.B. Jackson, Carol Malcolm(M), Andrea Stewart

Time: Sunday 10:00 am

Location: Chastain 1-2 Westin (Length: 1 Hour)

Title: Favors, Bargains, & Schemes: The Fae in UF

Description: In folklore & contemporary fiction the Fae take various forms & have a wide range of characteristics & goals. Our panel of authors will discuss the depictions used in their work, & how the variety of traits & features led to their choices.

Panelists: Sarah J. Sover, Jim Butcher, Rachel Rener, D.B. Jackson, Jennifer Blackstream, Carol Malcolm(M)

Time: Sunday 08:30 pm

Location: Chastain 1-2 Westin (Length: 1 Hour)

Before I run off to finish packing, I wanted to thank each and every one of you who preordered the Gilded Blood Deluxe Edition Omnibus and the Bone Whisperer Special Edition Duology. As of this week, ALL 2500 preorders have been sent. Seeing the giant green ZERO by the unfulfilled orders section in my website shop elicited a literal sob of joy

Also, to those of you who have already read and reviewed Amethysts and Alchemy, you have my entire heart. Thank you, thank you, thank you for the overwhelming love and support you've shown Delaney, Heath, and Topie. I truly could not ask for better readers than you!❤️

Hope to see you soon!

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BOOOOOOOOOOOOOBS!

#SorryNotSorry for the subject of this email ;)



For those of you asking to see the infamous Men Writing Women panel that Rachel led at San Diego Comic Con two weeks ago, we put together some rather scandalous clips for you!

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"I didn't think we'd have this many people attending Triple-X Bodice-Ripping 101! ...Juuuuuust kidding!"

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"I want the people in the rooms on either side of us to have total FOMO about not being in here with us, so on the count of 3 I want everyone in the audience to yell B00BS! - 1,2,3 - BOOOOOBS!"

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Rachel making her poor panelists do blind readings of men writing women.

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"What, you guys don't store your belongings in your v*ginas? No? Sheesh, I keep entire backpacks up here!" ***squats down as if to retrieve it***

Here's the full text of the above passage, BTW, since the audience was laughing too hard for it to properly be heard:

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"I lost my grandma last week and I miss her boobs so much."

And finally, sentient brea$ts:

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Right after this, Rachel yelled at the audience, "Stop having fun! We are not here to have fun, we are here to talk about BREA$TS!"

Thank you so much for coming to our T̶E̶D̶ Boob Talk! If you'd like to catch Rachel on future panels, her upcoming list of events can be found here!

Cheers!

Our neighborhood mailman has officially unfriended me

I really like our neighborhood mailman. Sometimes I bring him a cold drink. Other times I help him load up his mail truck when I have more than a few boxes for him to pick up. Sadly, I don't think we'll be friends after today 

You see, the special editions of the Bone Whisperer Chronicles finally arrived yesterday, and this is what my living room looked like at 11pm last night after Britt and I spent a solid 12 hours processing preorders. And this wasn't even all of the boxes.

This is what my porch looked like at 10 am this morning (still doesn't even include all of the boxes):

While I so appreciate the Post Office's free mail pick up service, I somehow don't think our local mail(wo)men do  (Still, I'm keeping a close eye on my Ring cam and will dash outside to help the moment he arrives. Maybe then we can still be friends?)

I will say, however, that the sore back, cardboard cuts, and even the well-deserved ire of my local mailman is totally worth it. Look at how gorgeous these turned out!!! 

For those of you who recall, yes, I did also have a brand-new release drop yesterday. After all of that, I'm not sure how I'm functioning well enough to type up this newsletter. Maybe my chronic and unyielding love for you, my readers?

Yeah, we'll go with that 

With a handful of orange flags secured, a slew of overwhelmingly-positive reviews (plus the usual blind 1-star ratings from the same handful of anonymous trolls who seem to lie in wait for all of my new releases), and a whole lot of DMs and emails I am frantically working to reply to, you all have reminded me yet again why I chose this career above all others.

Thank you.

BTW, for those of you asking, the Amethysts & Alchemy audiobook is now available! Lia Langola did such a phenomenal job bringing Delaney Stone to life, she may as well have been the voice in my head while I was writing it!!

Have you ever heard a narrator that was so good you completely forgot you were listening to a performance rather than the main character herself? If so, who? I love discovering new listens!

While I would love nothing more than to take a hot bath with a good book, there's no rest for the weary as I still have about 50 orders to pack and ship today and a teetering pile of notifications to catch up on. Oh yeah, and then I have to pack for World Con in Glasgow, Scotland next week

But I have no complaints.I love you all. I love what I do. And I cannot wait to hear what you all think of your pretty Bone Whisperer duology and Amethysts & Alchemy.

Cheers and talk soon!❤️

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If you're reading this on Goodreads or on my blog, be sure to sign up for my newsletter to get the most exciting updates sent directly to your inbox!

Amethysts

Thank you so much for listening to Amethysts & Alchemy! For those of you aspiring "parascientists" out there, you can find the supplemental Mineral Guide below!

In the meantime, as thanks for your support of the series, please accept this promo code for 20% off signed copies of Amethysts & Alchemy! Just use AMETHYST20 at checkout!

Thank you again for being here, as your ongoing support is what makes these stories possible!❤️

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MINERAL CLASSIFICATIONS

Amethysts & Alchemy is HERE!!!!!! (Plus an awesome Bone Whisperer update at the bottom!!)

I am so incredibly excited to announce my neurospicy, rivals-to-lovers, cozy romantic fantasy, Amethysts & Alchemy, is out now in Paperback, Hardcover, Audiobook, and Kindle Unlimited (with the audiobook releasing the next few days)!

This book is so important to me - not just as an author, but as a neurodiverse person who has often struggled to find my place in a complex and daunting world. It is my hope that by writing this book, others who have struggled with the same will feel better seen and accepted

But this book isn't just for my neurospicy peers. It also has:

A mineral-based magic system A badass alchemist / pharmacist FMC Laura Croft meets Lessons in Chemistry vibes An emotional support pig that steals the show Airplanes, spelunking, and ancient Chinese history Rivals-to-lovers romance (and OMG does it smolder!) Footnotes for those of us who want alllllll the random facts

Thank you so much for allowing me to continue sharing my stories with you. I truly hope you will enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it! 

PS: If you're a member of Indie Fantasy Addicts, Amethysts and Alchemy is a Featured Read that will score you an extra 60 POINTS this month! And if you're not a member of IFA, what're you waiting for? We're smack-dab in the middle of the Summer Reading Challenge and having a blast!! Come join us!

As if all of that wasn't exciting enough, the Bone Whisperer Chronicles Special Edition Duologies have arrived!!

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Britt and I will be packing and shipping these gorgeous babies all day today, so our responses will be a little slower than usual! Also, we have several hundred orders to fulfill, so please hold off on emailing us about status updates until August 5th.

Thank you so much in advance for your patience and support- we can't wait for ALL of these beautiful books to be in your hands!

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Behind the scenes secrets and some tempered tea on background drama

For those of you who have not yet received your Gilded Blood omnibuses, PLEASE SEE MY NOTE BELOW (also in red) before sending us shipping inquiries Also, Britt wants to make sure you read her note at the very bottom of this email :)

***

I write you this long-awaited update grimy, achy, and covered in cardboard dust (but happy and grateful to be here talking to some of my favorite humans on the planet).

I stalled like crazy before doing a Gilded Blood Special Edition Omnibus because I never expected or wanted to be on the fulfillment end of things; like most authors, I'd much rather be writing books instead of shipping them. For that reason, I hired a logistics manager to make sure I could stay out of the warehouse and holed up in my office where I belong.

However, unfortunate circumstances* required me to part ways with my logistics manager back in April, under the following terms: they would fulfill the initial 1,500 Kickstarter orders, while I oversaw the incoming additional shipment of 2,000 books.

*Without spilling too much tea, I'll just say we had very different ideas on project management, customer service standards, and scheduling/organization.

 

Now, your initial thought - like mine - might have been, "Oh, wow, 2,000 books? That's a lot. You'd need a very large closet or a modest-sized shed to store all of those." 

Oh, no, my sweet, doe-eyed friend. 2,000 books - especially when each of those books are 3+ inches thick and weigh over 4 pounds - would not fit in a closet, shed, or even a 2-car garage. 2,000 books, which take up 10 full-sized pallets, require a much bigger space than that. Oh, and did I mention the weight? These chonkers are not dainty; 2,000 of them weigh nearly 10,000 pounds. In other words, I couldn't just haul them down to my basement.

So there became the not-so-simple matter of finding adequate space to keep them, along with expensive, heavy machinery to move them into said space.

And let's not forget obtaining enough shipping materials, which also had to come on pallets and cost around $700 JUST TO SHIP from TX to CO. (Uline, ever think about opening a warehouse in Denver? Cause you should totally open a warehouse in Denver.)

This is about a quarter of the shipping supplies we had to get.

After miraculously arranging for space, materials, and temp employees in time for the books to arrive, Delivery Day actually went better than I'd  anticipated. The delivery man, Chris, even had an electric pallet jack and generously helped us bring in the heaviest pallets (~2,000 pounds each) on a 100-degree day. We ❤️ you, Chris!

What I wasn't expecting in terms of complications was the level of production damage, which significantly slowed down shipping as we then had to do a QA check of every single book before I could even sign them. In all, around 25% of the holographic rainbow foil books were damaged.

On a directly-related note, we'll be doing a huge Scratch 'n' Dent sale in the coming weeks, so if the omnibus was not in the cards for you financially before, I plan to discount the damaged ones by as much as 40-50%. The imperfections aren't even that bad; I just can't in good conscience sell them at full price. I'll make an announcement about that once we're ready to launch the sale.

To my printer's immense credit, they are investigating what went wrong and will get back to us about potentially replacing some of the 300+ books that sustained production damage. 

All complications aside, I'm incredibly proud to say that Britt and I (with the much-appreciated and invaluable help of Lilly Rose, Elizabeth, Amy, my stepson, Josh, and my husband, Aaron) shipped out hundreds and hundreds of books this past week, finishing the second batch even as my previous PM was still sending out final stragglers from the first batch. (Though, in his defense, they'd been recently hit by a literal hurricane.)

If you were in that first batch, and particularly if you were a KS supporter, please know how sorry I am that you had to wait as long as you did. Britt and I have done everything we can to ensure that never happens again.

We made about 20 UPS/USPS drop-offs with my car packed this full.

Deep breathsAnyway. Now that the vast majority of the books are in your hands or well on their way, I want to thank you all so much for your support, kindness, and patience as we maneuvered through this VERY unfamiliar territory and did the best we could. Moving forward, all special edition book orders will be fulfilled directly by me and/or my team. We expect future projects, like the Bone Whisperer Special Edition Duology, to go MUCH smoother and faster now that we've handling everything ourselves and are better prepared to handle large volumes of books

ATTENTION: If you have not yet received your omnibus, DO NOT PANIC. There are a few reasons why that might be:



1) I just dropped off the last batch at UPS/USPS this morning, so your package may not have been scanned yet.

2) The hurricane in Texas and recent tech outage is slowing down deliveries all over the country.

3) You may have ordered your omnibus with another book that has not yet been released, like Amethysts & Alchemy or the Bone Whisperer Chronicles. In that case, all of your books will be shipped together once those preorder titles are available.

4) UPS/USPS may need additional information from you, which Britt will reference in her note at the end of this update.

Speaking of the Bone Whisperer Special Edition, we expect those to arrive any day now. I was hoping they'd be here by today, as I was advised they would be (and therefore stayed home instead of camping with my husband and friends this weekend), but customs are a fickle B and I haven't received updated tracking yet. If they do get here before San Diego Comic Con, I will ship as many as I can before I have to leave for the airport. Otherwise, we'll start shipping them out as soon as I get back.

Lastly, but by far not least: Amethysts & Alchemy.

The early reviews have been steadily coming in and I am floored by the overwhelmingly positive reception. As I've mentioned, I'm pretty nervous about this book because the main character will be too prickly for many, even though her character arc is among my favorites of any of my FMCs. That said, I cannot wait for you to meet Delaney Stone, who is so incredibly important to me, both as an author and a neurodivergent woman. The MMC, Heath, might also be my favorite to date. (Yes, even swoonier than an incubus, if you can believe it!)

Also, the audiobook is done and I'm 23 already chapters in. To say I am in love with Lia Langola's performance would be a massive understatement. She captured Delaney PERFECTLY, as though reading the words straight from my mind. As soon as I have the preorder link, most likely a few days before publication, I'll post it here and on my socials. I cannot wait for you to listen!!

BTW, if you preordered a signed copy from my shop , I'll do my best to get that to you before its official publication on 7/30!

Thank you so much again for being here during what has been an overwhelming period of growth and change. Your positivity and humor has brought a smile to my face even during the sweatiest, grimiest, and crankiest of moments.

I love you all - even you, Karen.

(IYKYK.)

Cheers!❤️

Come follow me! Facebook | Instagram | TikTok | Twitter | Goodreads | Bookbub | Amazon

If you're reading this on Goodreads or on my blog, be sure to sign up for my newsletter to get the most exciting updates sent directly to your inbox!

A Word from our Queen Helper Bee  

Rachel is being wayyyy too nice up above you guys! I won’t dive too deep into it but if you guys knew even a smidge of what’s really been going on BTS your jaws would be on the floor with what we've been dealing with. We are so grateful for the lessons we’ve learned over the last few months since I’ve been on board with Team Rachel and we’ll be making some really important changes going forward with our fulfillment processes.

We cannot thank you enough for communicating with us in such a kind and polite manner while you’ve been waiting FOREVER for your beautiful books and even while dealing with some unfortunate mishaps in quality upon arrival due to brutal post-workers (and absolutely not due to “fragile” being stickered or handwritten on your boxes). To the Karens - just maybe, mayyybbeee try talking to us the way you’d like someone else to talk to you if you needed help getting an issue resolved. Idk.. just a thought.. Although if you’re reading this newsletter, you’re likely NOT the problem.

On that note - if you have already received your tracking number but have yet to receive your order and think it may be stuck in transit - OR you haven’t received any info but have yet to receive your order - here are a couple tips to troubleshoot and keep in mind:

Contact your local USPS (not the 1-800 #, but your local PO #), provide them with your tracking # and check to make sure your address is complete and correct. We had a handful of orders come in that were missing apartment numbers or had incorrect zip codes, etc and as much as we wish we could help fix that, once the packages have been sent out to the address you provided at checkout, it’s a matter of having the carrier intercept and resolve.

Once you’ve contacted your local PO and are still in need then OF COURSE please send us an email and we will be happy to help take care of you and get things figured out.

If your order had another item that was also a pre-order item (ie: The Bone Whisperer SE and/ or Amethysts & Alchemy) then your order will ship once we have received all items needed to fulfill your order.

Any other questions about orders, please email us at support@rachelrener.com!

OK! Moving on to WAY more fun stuff!

YOU GUYS! HOLY MOLY GUACAMOLE!!! I just finished reading The Bone Whisperer Chronicles (The Girl Who Talks to Ashes and The Boy Who Lurks in Shadows) and OH EM GEEEE!!!! I am not even kidding - this duo has skyrocketed to my ALL TIME FAVES of books I have ever read in my entire 35 years of existence! I had so much fun buddy-reading this with two other Rachel super fans, Mollie and Brandy (who also happens to be a friend from my local book club) and we really enjoyed sharing our thoughts, theories (and maybe, nope definitely, even tears) throughout our reading sessions. Rachel said I even got a major plot twist right and I was so proud of myself haha!

So on that note, stay tuned for something AMAZING coming this October regarding this fantastic duology! I’m literally texting and calling Rachel daily about our shipment of the special edition for this duo because I NEEEEED IT on my shelf PRONTO! So do you, so hurry up and go snag the preorder!

Alrighty, that’s all I have for now fam! I’m SO excited to hang out and help Rachel at San Diego Comic Con next week while also getting to visit some friends and family while I’m there. Fun fact: San Diego is my hometown where I was born and raised so you already know I’m sneaking in some beach time too, perfect timing for a little summer break finale.

XoXoX

Britt