Mark P. Shea's Blog, page 1344

This is big. Really Big!

After consultation with such leading thinkers as Michael Matt, E. Michael Jones, and Robert Sungenis Pope Benedict has just released a new encyclical intended to make the Catholic faith fully conformable to the narrow consensus of opinion among extremely conservative Catholic comboxers and blogmeisters who are increasingly uncomfortable with the catholicity of the Catholic Faith.

In other news, Catholics of Fortress Catholicus have also intimidated the Pope into delaying the beatification of Pope John Paul II indefinitely.

Meanwhile, other Catholics of Fortress Catholicus are, as is their custom, angry about the joke.

Best April Fool gags

A friend sends this along:

Number 5: Thomas Edison Ends World Hunger
In 1878, the New York Graphic announced that Thomas Edison had invented a machine that would convert dirt into cereal and water into wine. Newspapers throughout America fell for the hoax and republished the article by the end of the day.

Number 4: Big Ben Gets a Makeover
In 1980 the BBC reported that Big Ben was going digital in order to keep up with modern technology.

Number 3: Lefties Need Whoppers, Too!
In 1998 Burger King ran an ad in USA Today promoting a new menu addition; the "Left-Handed Whopper" developed so lefties could enjoy their whopper as much as their right-handed counterparts. The ad claimed that all the condiments were rotated 180 degrees.

Number 2: Tacos Spell Freedom
In 1996 The Taco Bell Corporation conned the unsuspecting into believing it had purchased the Liberty Bell and would be renaming it the Taco Liberty Bell. Needless to say, the prank caused a nationwide outrage. Taco Bell revealed the April Fool's joke hours later.

Number 1: Spaghetti Crop Growing Wild
In 1957, respected BBC news show Panorama announced that Swiss farmers were experiencing a bountiful spaghetti crop due to a mild winter that decimated the spaghetti weevil. Video of farms taking spaghetti off of trees accompanied the announcement. Hoards of Brits fell for the April Fool's prank, some even calling the BBC asking how they could grow their own spaghetti tree.

I'm just waiting for somebody to pounce on my announcement and stridently condemn me for my shocking hypocrisy as a liar for making an April Fool joke. You just know somebody will.

A reader writes...

Perhaps you can help me reach other men who are too busy, too macho, or otherwise have difficulty praying.

I promise this story is very brief, witty, inspiring and worth the read.

I'd really appreciate it if you can help. (I think our Blessed Mother might appreciate it to)

read it at
Running the Rosary

Check it out!

Pure Luke Shea bait

Catholic manga tells comic book version of life of Pope Benedict.

I want to see the wire fu battle between him and Hans Kung.

Phillip Pullman, One of our Overrated Fantasy Authors

regurgitates old lies. A reader writes:

Philip Pullman, author of the Dark Materials trilogy, has had another cheap shot at Christianity.

In the course of an article about government cuts closing libraries, he tries to pump up some erudition by referring to the destruction of 'hundreds and thousands of books' on the orders of Bishop Theophilus of Alexandria in AD 391. As a matter of fact, most genuine historians date the destruction of the Serapeum to the war between Cato and Pompey some 450 years earlier. But that hasn't stopped the trope from being propagated by anyone with Christianity issues.

James Hannam, author of God's Philosophers, has a trenchant comment here.

It's too bad Pullman isn't familiar with the work of a truly great science fiction author, Mike Flynn, who actually knows what he's talking about when he discusses the Library at Alexandria.

Much of Pullman's (and Dawkins') reputation for being intelligent seems to be based largely on the reflexive American tendency to regard a British accent as conferring extra IQ points. Whenever these men speak about matters outside their narrow field of competence, they are complete ninnies and ignorami.

Today's Gay Brownshirt News

Apostles of Tolerance attempt to smash priest for daring to teach what the Church teaches.

In other news, the New Improved and Obamafied Military is now threatening to smash chaplains who have qualms of conscience about the proposition that homosexuality is the source and summit of all that is noble, good, and beautiful. Clam up about the notion that homosex is sinful or face court-martial.

Oh, and get your butt to Libya and do some more nation-building for the Empire.

And you thought Obama was hesitant to use force. Why does Obama have all-volunteer military if he can't order it around on a whim and use it for social engineering at home and abroad?

O Frabjous Day!

Just got off the phone with Dale Ahlquist, the Prez of the Chesterton Society and the Executive Producer of Manalive! He has, sitting before him in his desk, a DVD of the finished film, delivered today.

Now, of course, comes the job of getting it distributed, something about which I know nothing. He will be meeting with somebody next week about this, so your prayers will be appreciated.

Pseudoknowledge is not Fact

Over at the Register, comboxers are writing stuff like:

Just the fact that the accuser stated that she was going to "destroy" Fr. Corapi should make all her allegations against him questionable and any attack a mere exaggeration, since she is acting out of revenge. Poor soul. It is a good thing though to have put him on leave so as to give room for the Church to do its work and the accusations to be disproved. Then Fr. Corapi will be able to go back to his ministry with peace of mind once all is resolved and this lady is proven wrong.

Um, we don't know it's a "fact" that the accuser vowed to destroy anybody. What we *know* is that the Veep of a company who a) lists Fr. Corapi as her CEO and b) stands to lose a lot of money *tells* us the accuser did all this--on Fr. Corapi's website. We also know that this Veep is urging us to take it to the bank that this is all caused by the "hatred of the devil", that Fr. Corapi's investigation is somehow violating justice, and that they will not be refraining from promoting him (as EWTN is very sensibly refraining from doing till the dust settles).

In essence, then, what we have is this: an accuser (about whom we know nothing. at. all except that she used to work for SCM) went through proper channels to level a charge and has remained silent since. She has not made a media spectacle of Fr. Corapi. She has said nothing in public but asked the Church to look into it and Fr. Corapi's superiors apparently think there is enough merit to what she claims to do so. That does not, as they make clear, imply guilt. But it's what we would do in any other circumstances with credible charges.

So why is there a media spectacle? Because Fr. Corapi has made a media spectacle by, not once, but twice (the second time through a surrogate publishing on his site), leveled completely unsubstantiated charges against his accuser, which devotees of Fr. Corapi are taking as gospel. His and Ruffatto's charges *may* turn out to be true. But it is stealing three bases and home plate to turn these claims against his accuser, made through a sock puppet, into "fact", just as it is to assume his accuser's claims are "fact".

The *fact* is we know no more about the details of the case than we did two weeks ago. What we know is that one side of the argument controls the media microphone and has done a masterful job, so far, of rallying the troops to presume the accuser is evil, motivated by the "hatred of the devil", a "she devil" (as one comboxer memorable called her), etc. That fact is this side of the conflict has also done a fine job of rallying the troops to denounce the process of investigation of the facts as somehow prejudicial to him, even though the overwhelming majority of people responding to the controversy have not denounced him as guilty but have, instead, denounced his accuser and declared him innocent, based solely on his claim to be so.

All this may be true. But we do not *know* it to be true. What we know with respect to the accuser is that she is a former employee who has made a charge that Fr. Corapi's superiors find credible enough to investigate. All the stuff we "know" about her motivations is pure unadulterated pseudoknowledge fed to us by Fr. Corapi and those in his employ, and then magnified in the echo chamber of a blogospheric fanbase that very much wants to transform this pseudoknowledge into "fact".

Why not just mind our own business, let the Church do the investigation and let the chips fall where they may? If he's innocent, the facts will bear him out. If not, well, he's not our Savior and turns out to be another mortal and sinner like the rest of us. That's not exactly a shock.

If we take the mind our own business route, then whatever the investigation turns up, we can be happy. If he turns out to be innocent, then we can be happy about that. If it turns out his accuser is telling the truth, then we can be happy that we did not allow ourselves to become part of a mob of pitchfork wavers who were manipulated into ignorantly denouncing an innocent person who told the truth. As former ardent supporters of Maciel can tell you, that's something you don't want to have on your conscience. At present, the combox Star Chamber proceeding against this woman (fueled by "information" from the Corapi website) have all the forensic rigor of these proceedings:



So: wait for the investigation to finish--or even start. You and I don't know anything about the merits of the case. Period.

You can't make this stuff up

Obama received award for transparency at secret meeting.

It's like something Monty Burns would do.

Prolife organization demonstrates that Lying for Jesus is unnecessary

For those people who were wringing their hands last month, wondering how on earth a big, evil, and powerful organization like Planned Parenthood could ever be stopped if Live Aid was not permitted to lie to them, I have good news. An exciting new prolife organization has successfully conducted a humiliating sting operation which conclusively showed that, you guessed it, Planned Parenthood was lying through their teeth when they claimed the needed fed funding for their vital mammogram program.

The name of this new prolife organization?: Live Aid.

Turns out they just called a bunch of PP centers and asked about mammograms, only to be told they don't do mammograms. Whaddaya know? PP lied! Way to go, Live Aid! More non-lying stings. Go! Fight! Win!