John Harrell's Blog, page 59

Inside Job

We love to be on the inside of things, to be “in the know.” We might believe this gives us a leg up on the rest of the world.

Here’s some truth for you: change is an inside job. We cannot fix anything about ourselves by changing something external. Botox might make you think you are staving off the aging process, but it is a temporary solution at best. The only way to slow down aging is intense exercise. Hard exercise changes your biochemistry, your inner organs.

Every one of us needs inner work. This never ends. But take heart! We grow when we change from within…

Including Others

Remember when you were a kid and you got picked to be on a team? If we were playing basketball, I got picked last or not at all. I was horrible at basketball.

Everyone wants to belong, to be a part of something bigger than themselves. Kids join gangs because they think they’ve found their people. Their family lives are a mess or nonexistent. Adults join car clubs and country clubs. They belong to a unique, sometimes exclusive group.

We should always treat others with kindness and respect. They might not belong to something we do, but that doesn’t make them less important.

Our identity is found in who we are, not what groups we belong to…

Advice

Do you like to give advice? Are you willing to listen to advice?

Many well-intentioned people offer their well-intentioned advice, usually without being asked for it. I’m a parent to two young men (30 and 28 now), and they weren’t too receptive to my advice when they were teenagers. That’s part of growing up, though. Making mistakes and, hopefully, learning from them.

Something I learned in al anon was that I should mind my own business. If someone asks for my thoughts or my opinion, I will offer it. But it doesn’t bother me if they don’t do a single thing I recommend. I’m honored that they think enough of me to ask.

Stay in your lane. Focus on yourself and don’t try to fix the rest of the world. You can only fix yourself…

Looking Back

Today’s post is not about reliving your past. Long time readers know me to say that our best days are ahead of us. That hasn’t changed. The focus for today is on growth.

Change is gradual. This is true for positive change as well as developing bad habits. It happens little by little. But when we reflect on where we were ten years ago, we can see how we have changed. We have gained wisdom, and perhaps we are in better physical shape now than we were before. If our bad habits are the same today, then maybe it’s time to face the root cause and remove it.

If you feel like you haven’t gotten to where you planned to be, give yourself a little grace. You certainly aren’t the same person you were a decade ago. And that’s a good thing…

Spirited

All of us have great spirits. So why do we mute them? We should live fully, in the moment and in our dreams. We weren’t born to be timid or weak.

Embrace your inner spirit. Thrive. People will be judgmental and try to talk you out of your dream. Pay no attention to the naysayers. They don’t have your spirit.

Start now…

Damage Done

I grew up in a home filled with constant tension. If I accidentally spilled a glass of water I would be told “you’re not worth a damn. You’ll never amount to anything.” My home could become violent, too. I never knew what might set my father off. I felt alone.

The brain is an incredibly efficient marvel. It created coping mechanisms which allowed me to function through the chaos. But coping mechanisms are short-term solutions. They aren’t meant to sustain us indefinitely.

I took a lot of insecurities into adulthood. At the time I didn’t see them as such, but as my life evolved I knew something was amiss. I began working on myself. The work paid off.

I still work on myself. Practicing gratitude led to me forgiving my parents long after they were dead. But forgiveness came at the right time.

The damage was done early in my life, but I found the repair center. Find yours…

Prestige

Prestige is defined as “widespread respect and admiration felt for someone or something on the basis of a perception of their achievements or quality.” We revere people of prestige.

Have you ever met a famous person or celebrity? I have met many. I have had dinner with multiple people of prestige. The interesting thing is, they are just people. They might have special talents to entertain us, but their lives aren’t free from struggles and stress. There are some famous people who want you to worship them, but they are the minority. Most just want to be seen as regular people.

In the eyes of God we are all the same. No one reaches Heaven in a different way because of their earthly accomplishments. No one should feel diminished by another person because we are here to do God’s work. Sometimes fame comes with that, and sometimes not…

Hidden

When I was a kid, there was a popular television show called “Candid Camera.” Goofy pranks were played on unsuspecting people and their reactions were recorded by a hidden camera. The show was hilarious.

People hide their inner pain. We show the world that we have it all together. But the truth is, many people are barely holding on. For some, all they have left is hope.

Words can heal or they can hurt. Whatever is going on inside a person’s head and heart is reflected in what they say or how they act. Hurt people hurt other people. Healthy people heal others.

Our world is struggling. It’s expensive to live. Mental health was shredded from isolation during the pandemic. Masking inner pain with fake smiles doesn’t heal the wounds.

Let your guard down with others. Allow them to see you for who you are. And let them show you who they really are, not who they want us to think they are.

Be kind. Always…

Misguided on Purpose

Where can you go to get reliable news nowadays? It seems like every national media outlet has their own agenda, and they pervert their news coverage to influence their audience. Many times they flat out lie with no consequences.

The big three, CNN, Fox and MSNBC are guilty as charged. Yet some people still believe what they say like it’s the Gospel. If their viewing audience stopped tuning in until they told the full truth, then their behavior might change.

I encourage you to read and observe. Actions are more reliable than empty words…

In Your Eyes

We like to focus on the shortcomings of others. By doing this, it keeps us from having to look objectively at ourselves. We compare ourselves to you so we can feel superior to you.

In the world of Christianity, we observe some (not all) Christians condemning gay people. They love to single out the homosexuals. Yet, everyone sins. Everyone.

Jesus spoke of this often. He challenged us to focus on removing the beam in our own eyes rather than calling out the speck in the eyes of others. He told us we shouldn’t judge or we will be judged in the same way.

Eliminate judgment from your thinking. Jesus died for all of us, even the gay people…