John Harrell's Blog, page 14

Overstimulated

Our brains are really remarkable. It’s the greatest gift God gave us, and it’s a true marvel to study. Yet, it can go awry if we don’t protect it. Let me explain.

When I was a child, I lived in a constant state of fight-or-flight. My brain was on overdrive. It developed coping mechanisms which allowed me to survive. Those methods were meant to serve me well for only a short period, not all my life. Only through psychotherapy was I able to reroute my brain in a healthy way.

What we read, watch on television and YouTube shape our minds. We must ensure that what we allow in must be pure and good. It’s a huge responsibility to take care of our brains because there are negative stimuli everywhere. You almost can’t avoid it.

Be aware of everything you are exposing yourself to, whether it’s online or offline. It’s either good for us or bad for us.

Choose the good…

Burned Out

When people tell me they are going through a period of burnout, most associate it with being overworked, overwhelmed and tired. Burnout is more than this. And it can be prevented.

People get burned out because the stressors of life are too much to handle in that moment. Work, obligations, unexpected challenges, the list of stressors never ends. This is just how life is, yet it’s manageable.

Setting healthy boundaries is the key to preventing burnout. Learn to say no. Take the time to take care of yourself. If you don’t take care of yourself, you won’t be any good to anyone else. It starts with your mental health.

Prioritize sleep, eat good food, real food not processed crap, and have meaningful conversations with others. All of these impact your mental well-being. Neglecting one or more and your life becomes unbalanced. You have burned out.

The better you are, the better you can be for others. Take care…

Our Father

When the disciples asked Jesus to teach them how to pray, the first words Jesus said were, “Our Father.” There was a time in my life where I really wished Jesus hadn’t referred to God as Father. It was conflicting for me.

My father was cruel, demented, and capable of great violence. Growing up, I lived in a constant state of fear. I had no idea what might set my parents off, so I walked on eggshells.

You can see how I must have felt when I was asked to consider God as a father. Not only a father, but a perfect father at that! It just didn’t compute.

Only through a lot of self-work and forgiveness was I able to see God clearly. He is a good Father, a perfect Father. He created me and you, and didn’t make a mistake or have a second thought.

If this is difficult for you, too, I encourage you to pray about it. Ask God to open your eyes to the truth about who He is. And like a good Father, He will answer…

I’m Flattered

Oscar Wilde wrote “imitation is the sincerest form of flattery that mediocrity can pay to greatness.” There is much to unravel with Wilde’s quote, but for brevity’s sake let’s stick with flattery.

It’s nice to receive a compliment. Being confident in yourself and your abilities allows you to accept the compliment with humility and appreciation. I have had been privileged to have dinner with some accomplished people in the acting and sports world. To a person, each one realized how fortunate they were to have had such great success in their respective fields. No arrogance or rudeness, even when dinner was interrupted by people seeking autographs and pictures.

There are people who try to flatter others thinking they will get something in return. The fakes are pretty easy to spot.

I encourage you to look for ways to pass on compliments when you can. Remember that it’s not always about you. Be sincere. Write a short note to people you admire. Sincere flattery can go a long way when offered in the right way…

Lucky

Have you ever known someone who has tremendous luck? You know, everything falls into place for them. But is it really luck?

Every experience we have prepares us for something else. Because I went through a hellish period with one of my sons, God has positioned me to help a couple of other men who are experiencing the same thing. The way my son’s life has turned out gives them hope. It’s not luck that we know each other. It was orchestrated by God.

Someone once said that “the harder they work, the luckier they get.” This is true. Life doesn’t just happen. You must go find the future you are looking for.

Decide today that you will make your own luck from here on out. Then get to work!

Trappings

Some people work their lives away seeking wealth, power and prestige. If you are reading this and find it relatable, I encourage you to stop the chase. It’s a trap that can leave you feeling hollow. No one wants to feel hollow.

Money is nice, but it’s only a tool. A big house is comfortable and inviting, but eventually you won’t be satisfied until you get a bigger, more modern home. The chase continues until you decide to seek what will fulfill you.

The most important thing in this world isn’t a thing, it’s people. Relationships will provide you a sense of satisfaction and well-being you cannot get from the trappings of this life.

And speaking of life, take a moment to thank God for another day on this side of eternity. We have an opportunity every day to make a difference in the lives of those around us.

Make your difference…

Friendliness

Are you a friendly person? Making acquaintances and getting to know people has always been easy for me. I’m insatiably curious about people and their life stories. God should take pity on my seat mate on an airplane. I’ll get their story before we land!

When I meet someone who is standoffish or quiet, I see them as shy. Being quiet doesn’t mean they are rude. They simply aren’t outgoing and that’s okay.

One of the reasons I podcast is to learn about successful people and how they kept going during the dark times. Everyone has pain and struggles. We find ourselves in the stories. And when you do see yourself you think, “if they made it through, maybe I can, too.”

Life is filled with ups and downs. Life is easy when things are going well. It’s during the downtimes, the darkness when you need people. Good people.

Do you want good friends? Solid friendships begin with us being a good friend first. Be willing to give of yourself and see how many good people you attract into your life, whether they are outwardly friendly or not…

Gift Giving

When I was a child, I would return to school after the Christmas break and all the kids in my class had the same question: “what did you get?” We were more curious about the quality and quantity of gifts we received rather than why we celebrated Christmas.

Fast forward to today, my sons tell me I’m difficult to buy for because there isn’t anything I really want or need. That’s true! All I want is to spend time with them. They are busy building their lives and we don’t get to see each other often. So, their time is the best gift I could receive.

When I buy gifts for others, I do my best to put thought into it. What will be important to the recipient and touch them in the heart is what I’m seeking. Thoughtfulness says more than the cost or opulence of a present.

As I have gotten older and perhaps wiser, I have learned that the greatest gift we have to offer is our time. Time is something we can never get back. Spend it well…

Alignment

People talk about being “aligned with the universe.” But what does that even mean?

Chiropractors realign our spine when it’s out of alignment. This relieves back pain and helps with posture. Soldiers are trained to march in a straight line, which is the true meaning of alignment. Is it possible that the new-age devotees are not using the word correctly?

Churches should remain politically neutral, yet some are using the pulpit to promote their political views. Jesus wasn’t afraid to delve into politics when he said, “Give back to Caesar what is Caesar’s and to God what is God’s.” And Jesus was the most perfectly aligned person who has ever lived.

Alignment with the universe is another way of saying, “get aligned with God’s will for your life and you will find fulfillment.” A fulfilling life is what we are looking for. Fulfillment means our life matters. Find it by getting in touch with who you are which is different from what we do.

Aligning with the universe isn’t a bad thing. It’s really a matter of semantics…

Protein

If you are new to exercise, it’s important to watch what you eat to achieve your best results. Oftentimes I see people begin getting in shape, but they eat like a rabbit. Substituting a salad for a beautifully grilled ribeye is a mistake!

Protein provides the building blocks to build muscle. If you rob your body of protein, your body will turn on you. It requires you to feed it what it needs.

A word of caution: there are people who swear by an all-beef diet. You should find what is best for you. A diet without fresh vegetables might not be optimal. Do some research. Consult a nutritionist. Your body is a machine. Treat it right and it will last a long time.

Lifting weights, Pilates and walking are a nice combination. Try them, but don’t forget the protein!