John Harrell's Blog, page 12

Choose Your Battles

If you’re on social media, you have probably observed that people like to fight. Something, anything happens and we must weigh in because, you know, our opinions are important! And when we state our case, the algorithm keeps feeding us similar posts to keep our righteous indignation alive.

Enough already! It’s time to change the game by altering our attention. For example, I cannot make a difference by commenting on the political arena. What happens in Washington is going to happen no matter what I say or believe. So I stay out of the conversation.

There are certain things all of us are effective at. By focusing our energy in those areas we can make an impact. Our efforts count for something. And here’s a universal truth: we want our lives to matter.

The time is right to make a choice. You may choose to stay involved in meaningless chatter, or get busy doing what you’re called to do.

Ask yourself a question: How do I want to be remembered? Once you come up with your answer to that relevant question, you get to choose whether to pursue your purpose or not.

It’s your choice. Choose wisely and then make your move into meaning and purpose. Ignore the battles that don’t get you where you’re going because they just don’t matter…

Build That Wall!

You have heard the saying, “hurt people, hurt people.” Broken people try to break you apart. You are never good enough, smart enough or kind enough to satisfy them. There are some who will do whatever they can to tear you down.

Everyone has some brokenness in them. We are an imperfect people living in an imperfect world. Conflict is unavoidable, but you can protect your peace and calm. Here’s how.

You must be willing to set boundaries and say no to the people who aren’t good for you. Sometimes this includes family members. Saying no is only hard the first time, and it’s one of the most self-respectful actions you can take.

If standing up for yourself is difficult, my encouragement to you is to go to work on yourself. Find out why it’s hard to set healthy boundaries. You will find the reason if you keep looking.

Self-work is difficult, I know. I speak from experience and with conviction. Personally, I have worked with a brilliant psychotherapist for 15 years. The work is hard, but the growth makes it so worthwhile.

Remember, the healthier you become mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually, the more healthy people you will attract into your life. It’s time to get to work!

Delayed, Not Denied

Do you ever get frustrated with God’s timing? Admittedly, I do. I’m an impatient person and just because it’s God and his perfect timing doesn’t change my impatience.

There has been one constant in my life who has never let me down. Of course I’m talking about God. He is responsible for me waking up this morning, my heartbeat, getting me to work safely. Everything good is a direct result of God’s provision.

Knowing that God will consistently come through is a good reminder to trust his timing. If I received everything I asked for immediately I would be a spoiled brat. Being delayed has a reason behind it. Perhaps I’m not ready and God has some work to do on me. That’s okay because he only wants what is best for me. And you!

Ask God for patience in the waiting. Learn to trust Him more and yourself less. Keep your focus on what you are grateful for. Everything will happen in its perfect time…

I Get To

A couple of weeks ago I was having a conversation with a young woman who said something that stuck with me. She said that instead of “having” to do something, she changed the verbiage to “I get to.” This one little word is a game changer.

For the past couple of years I’ve been struggling to write a second book. There’s so much inside my mind and heart that I want to share with the world. Yet, I had become the Mt. Everest of coming up with excuses to avoid writing. It doesn’t matter how impactful my written words might be if I never put them into print. Graveyards are full of unfulfilled dreams.

Changing this one small word in our verbiage makes a huge difference. We approach life’s challenges with a willing attitude instead of one filled with dread.

And remember to thank God along the way. After all, He’s the one who gives us our time and abilities…

Parents

When I became a father, I had no idea how to do the job. I had no skills because I had a terrible father. He was a cruel, angry, abusive man. All I knew was I didn’t want to be like him.

Fortunately, there are tons of good books available about parenting. So, I read many of them. And I sought out the advice of men I knew who had raised good children. I’m proud to say my two sons turned out well. They are good young men who have solid character. I will say their teenage years gave me a head of grey hair!

When my kids were in school, I saw parents who believed their children could do no wrong. If they got in trouble at school, it was the teachers fault. Some parents even lobbied the school to give their children better grades than they had earned. Those kids were being set up for failure later in life as they learned how the world works.

Parents are the first teachers children have. The little ones are always watching, learning their behavior from dad and mom.

If you are fortunate enough to be a parent, teach them well. And if you, like me, didn’t have good parents, you can learn…

There’s Always a Critic

Have you noticed how the court of public opinion passes judgment without knowing all the facts? People can look at the world through a lens of biases which cloud clear thinking.

The “Make America Healthy Again” movement has no shortage of uneducated critics. Since it’s associated with the Trump administration, it must be wrong! No, it’s not wrong. Obesity, especially in children, has risen to epidemic levels. Autism has gone from 1 in 10,000 to 1 in 31 children. Science is constantly asking why. It’s a good and fair question.

The pharmaceutical lobby is the largest in the world. They certainly have their own share of biases. Keep America fat and unhealthy and they have a customer for life. There is solid research dating back to the 1940’s that demonstrates the efficacy of psychedelics. They remain schedule 1 drugs because the pharmaceutical lobby says they should.

Do your own research. Remove bias from your thinking. If you conclude that your opinion is supported by facts, then stick with it. But if you learn something new that’s different from your prior beliefs, be willing to accept it…

When Tragedy Strikes

Bad things happen to good people. When they do, we have a difficult time understanding why. People live their lives the right way, do good in their communities, and one day everything goes to hell.

People with good intentions will say, “well, it’s just God’s will.” They are wrong. God doesn’t want bad things to happen, and he certainly doesn’t will it. In fact, he can’t. Doing something bad would cause God to go against his nature.

What is true is this: God allows it. Did you realize that every awful thing that happens must be okayed by God? That’s right. He doesn’t give the demons free rein because that would mean that God wasn’t in control.

There’s some good news! Only God can bring good from evil. In fact, God alone has this power.

No matter what you are going through, trust God to bring you through it. He will. Just stay in faith and believe…

The Meek

Being a meek person doesn’t mean you are weak or afraid to stand up for yourself. In fact, it’s quite the opposite. We think of the word in the wrong way.

Meek means strength under control. To display meekness means that when the crowd is losing their minds, you are the one who remains steady, the one who leads.

Meekness is strength of character, too. The meek don’t fold when things get tough. They remain steadfast in their convictions, sometimes running counterculture in the process.

Strive for meekness. Be strong when the world around you is weak.

And if you are a meek person, showing strength under control, you won’t need to tell anyone. Others will know…

Confession

It feels good to talk about things, doesn’t it? There’s much freedom that comes from unburdening yourself of your troubles.

Trigger warning: this is a dark story I’m about to tell you.

Last week, I was doing a round of volunteer speaking in prisons. On Wednesday morning, a few women inmates were sharing stories about their lives. One of the women said, “I was raped by my father from the time I was 3 until I was 13 and I ran away from home.” She went on to say that she had never told anyone until that moment. It’s heartbreaking to think about what she had been carrying inside for years, never talking about it. I cannot imagine what causes someone to harm an innocent child. He was a very sick fuck.

Everyone has a story. They aren’t always pretty. The woman I described above took her first step toward healing by talking about what happened to her. I asked her how it felt to tell someone and she said it felt good.

We need good people in our lives, people we can confide in who won’t judge us. Confession is a good first step to becoming whole…

Care

There are a lot of causes I care about. The poor state of our world is almost overwhelming. Illiteracy, disease, hunger and child abuse are just a few needs to address.

No one person can solve all our societal ills. There are too many. Government is inefficient in solving problems. People tend to look there for solutions but the governments track record sucks. I have an idea!

If everyone alive who is capable took the time to work towards a problem they have a heart for, we could move the bar immeasurably. So few are fulfilling the call to help. My encouragement is for people to take one hour, only one hour per week to help. If less television turns into helping your fellow man, I believe that’s a good, worthwhile trade off.

I ask you to prayerfully consider what you can do. Then I encourage you to follow through and take action. Collectively we can make a difference.

Start today…