Naughty Netherworld Press's Blog: Naughty Netherworld Press on Goodreads, page 93
October 20, 2020
Grave Mistake
Grave Mistake Friends from the End
Robin Roberts reflected on the fact that he had existed in his current incarnation for 146 years. It was early November 2014 last he checked, but he had been through several gates or wormholes since then, and time worked differently in the Dreamlands.
Robin’s body died during the influenza pandemic of 1918 but was revived shortly thereafter by arcane magic. He wasn’t afraid of being in a mass grave with approximately three hundred other victims of the virus. He didn’t need to breathe because his body was no longer alive.
Robin tunneled through the soil as easily as if he were swimming. He noticed another fellow tunneling beside him and the pair grinned at each other, knowing that if they worked together, they would reach the surface swiftly.
The wiry Robin and his burly companion climbed out of the grave on the stroke of midnight. They shook hands and introduced themselves.
“Whistle and pop of the chuffin' evenin' ter ya, guv'ner,” the portly ghoul said. “I'm John Tamboli, and I'm 'eaven and 'ell chuffed ter make your acquaintance. Folks call me Lil' John, and I suppose that ya can clock why. They also call me the tambourine geeza, 'cause I enjoy playin' the tambourine chicken pen the opportunity presents itself.”
“I'm Robin Roberts, and I'm glad ter kna ya, good sir. 'Eaven and 'ell, I guess we bof kna why we're not jack's but are feelin’ frisky just the bloomin' same. I suppose t'was the chuffin' flu that took ya, same as me. “Ell’s bells, I daan't wish ter 'ang 'round this Drum longer than I must. Wot do ya say we pop Frank Bough ter Dylaf Leen and find ourselves a tavern where we can enjoy a pint?”
From that moment on, Robin and John had been inseparable. Whether in London, Dylath Leen, or anyplace else that the ghoul tunnels connected, they made their way through the underworld together. Unlike some ghouls, they weren’t interested in joining a coven or in terrorizing the living. They preferred to unlive their unlife discovering new things and learning old secrets.
Robin carried a secret that he told no-one, not even his best friend. It hurt too much to speak of it. But that night when he looked up at the sky, it looked just as it had on the night that his beloved Betsy had been taken from him, and he blurted out a portion of the truth. From there, John and Robin’s other friends, the snarky Swedish spectre Ketil Nagel, the serpent mystic Rilpu, and Yitzy the Yithian had encouraged Robin to reveal the truth that tormented his soul.
Now Robin was running down a seemingly interminable hall, wishing that he had listened to his friends when they warned him not to follow the phantom appearing to be Betsy, but which almost certainly was not.
The ApparitionThe apparition appeared as Robin sat in the living room of the House of Lost Dreams telling his friends the sad tale of how his beloved Betsy was found beside her house with her brain removed from her head and how he and Betsy had met a rumpled-looking man with a peculiar buzzing voice earlier in the day. The phantom looked the way Betsy would have had she been allowed to become a woman. Despite his friends’ protests, Robin leaped up to follow the vision.
“Ruddy eedjit,” Robin muttered to himself as he ran along the seemingly interminable corridor. “Oh, it's a grave mistake I've made, runnin' Frank Bough after a ruddy phantom 'cause it looked loike me Betsy might 'ave looked 'ad she been allowed ter gra up. But it couldn't possibly be Betsy. It's a trick played by that blasted Nyarlathotep, surely, and I fell into 'is trap Ham and Cheesy peasy. Na I may never clock me china plates or that glorious molderin' 'aunch of 'uman or that tasty spiced Porcupine again. You're a two-foot rule, Robin Roberts. a foolish, foolish two-foot rule.”
A dark vortex appeared at the end of the hallway, and Robin knew that he had two choices. He could enter the vortex, which would either spell the end for a body well past its shelf life but with which he was not sure he was ready to part, or it could lead him somewhere that was hardly guaranteed to be anyplace he wanted to go. His other option was to try and find his way back to his friends, but the configuration of the Dream House was not consistent.
The apparition materialized before the vortex, beckoning Robin.
“Ya can't be wot ya seem ter be nah matter 'a much I want ya ter be,” Robin said, his voice quavering. “So ya tell me wot ya 're, damn you, and screw ya six ways ter Sunday for playin' wif a bloke's Horse and Cart in the chuffin' cruelest way possible.”
“I’m your very own Betsy Bowes, Robin Roberts,” the apparition answered. “I chose the form that I thought would make you feel most comfortable. After all, my mind was separated from my body when we were both but twelve years old. I can show you where they took me, dearest Robin, and you are welcome to join me there. My companions agree that your knowledge and compassion would be great assets. What do you say, my love? No longer will you need to feed on decaying flesh to maintain your corrupt body. You can explore the Universe with me.”
Gelatinous tears soaking his face, Robin gripped the phantom’s hand.
“I want so badly fer this ter be real,” Robin whispered. “But if there is anythin’ that I've learned in me Nifty Donkey's Ears of Porridge Knife and me ninety-six Donkey's Ears of unlife, it's that if summit seems too Robin Hood ter be true, it prolly is.”
Robin released the apparition’s hand and turned away, his broken sobs echoing off the walls of the House of Lost Dreams.
996 Words
Acknowledgments
Earth’s Dreamlands are the creation of H.P. Lovecraft, inspired by the works of Lord Dunsany.
Robin and John are ghouls, a race of Undead creatures that subsist on decaying human flesh. Ghouls are either born as ghouls or become ghouls following the death of their bodies by the use of arcane magic.
Nyarlathotep is the creation of H.P. Lovecraft, initially appearing in his 1920 story of the same name.
The House of Lost Dreams appears in the Land of Lost Dreams scenario in the 1996 H.P. Lovecraft’s Dreamlands supplement for the Call of Cthulhu RPG published by Chaosium.
The Great Race of Yith is the creation of H.P. Lovecraft, initially appearing in his 1936 novella, The Shadow Out of Time.
This chapter was written using the October 2020 WEP prompt, Grave Mistake.
https://writeeditpublishnow.blogspot.com/2020/10/wepiwsg-october-challenge-for-2020.html
It also utilized the “Apparition” prompt from the October Spooky Writing Challenge list.
The story was submitted to the https://blog.reedsy.com/creative-writing-prompts/challenge for the Write a ghost story where there’s more going on than it first appears prompt on 17 October 2020.
The original characters Robin Roberts, Little John Tamboli, Ketil Nagel, Rilpu, Yitzy the Yithian, and Betsy Bowes are the intellectual property of Naughty Netherworld Press.
Robin, John, Ketil, and Yitzy are the stars of Naughty Netherworld Press’ novella, Tales from the Dreamlands: Ketil and Yitzy’s Adventure in the Xura Dream House.
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Copyright Information
The Icky, Sticky, Nit-Picky Legalese If You Please (Or Don't Please)
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Pretty Women: #MFRWhooks
http://mfrwbookhooks.blogspot.comThe Blurb
Geeky Gandy Stafford's lifelong fantasy comes true when he meets the otherworldly Dorma and Desyra. These last remnants of a botched extraterrestrial invasion discover that they require a great deal of energy to maintain their human forms.
The easiest way to obtain essential power?
Sex, and lots of it.
The SnippetGandy chose Pretty Woman as a tutorial for his alien guests on how to sound and act like a human female. Although Gandy was watching the movie, the two aliens were watching him rather than the movie. They sat close to him and gently touched the sides of his head, so they could read his thoughts.
“Fuck, they’re hot! I wish I was a real stud like I am in my fantasies. This would be a total fantasy come true if I wasn’t such a dud with chicks. How lucky am I to have a couple of aliens hanging out with me? I hope maybe they’ll stay with me for a while. It’s really cool having them here.”
Get YoursThere are two ways to get your hands on Coming to Earth.
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Copyright InformationThe Icky, Sticky, Nit-Picky Legalese If You Please (Or Don't Please)
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Pretty Women: MFRW Book Hooks
http://mfrwbookhooks.blogspot.comThe Blurb
Geeky Gandy Stafford's lifelong fantasy comes true when he meets the otherworldly Dorma and Desyra. These last remnants of a botched extraterrestrial invasion discover that they require a great deal of energy to maintain their human forms.
The easiest way to obtain essential power?
Sex, and lots of it.
The SnippetGandy chose Pretty Woman as a tutorial for his alien guests on how to sound and act like a human female. Although Gandy was watching the movie, the two aliens were watching him rather than the movie. They sat close to him and gently touched the sides of his head, so they could read his thoughts.
“Fuck, they’re hot! I wish I was a real stud like I am in my fantasies. This would be a total fantasy come true if I wasn’t such a dud with chicks. How lucky am I to have a couple of aliens hanging out with me? I hope maybe they’ll stay with me for a while. It’s really cool having them here.”
Get YoursThere are two ways to get your hands on Coming to Earth.
Buy the Kindle version on Amazon for $0.99
https://amzn.to/31ygJQO
Buy the PDF on LBRY for 15 LBC (approximately $0.45)
https://lbry.tv/@naughtynetherworldpress:d/Carnal-Invasion-I--Coming-to-Earth:7
Get Coming to Earth as part of the Carnal Invasion Collection, which includes the first four stories in the Carnal Invasion series.
Get the Kindle version on Amazon for $3.99
https://amzn.to/3aPLrcy
Get the PDF on LBRY for 75 LBC (approximately $2.25)
https://lbry.tv/@naughtynetherworldpress:d/Carnal-Invasion-Collection-I--Short-and-Sexy:a
An LBC is a form of cryptocurrency. Over the past year, it has consistently been worth approximately $0.03.
LBRY is a decentralized content marketplace. I price the PDF versions of my work at approximately half of the Kindle price because I receive the entire amount rather than a royalty percentage.
You can get a free LBRY account through this link. You can earn LBC for viewing content on LBRY as well as from selling your content.
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Copyright InformationThe Icky, Sticky, Nit-Picky Legalese If You Please (Or Don't Please)
Copyright 2020 by Naughty Netherworld PressReblogging is acceptable on platforms that allow it. LBRY’s reblog function is called repost, which makes things confusing since reposting is considered a no-no on most platforms. It’s fine to share the post using the repost function on LBRY. It is not okay to copy-paste the material into a new post.
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October 17, 2020
Nothing to Fear Weekend Writing Warriors 18 October 2020
http://wewriwa.blogspot.com
http://www.facebook.com/groups/snippetsundayThe BlurbThe fate of the Cosmos rests in the hands of an unlikely team of unusual friends. Will an exiled member of an ancient extraterrestrial race, a human ghost, and two ghouls be able to outfox an ancient evil and beat Nyarlathotep at his game before time runs out? This buddy story is the first in a series of New Cthulhu Mythos cliffhangers.
The NotesLast time, Little John and Yitzy discussed Yitzy's opinions about working with the Undead.
The Snippet
“Do your kind ever become ghouls or vampires or ghosties?”
“Not that I have noticed. Ours is a hive species, although I am a renegade. I imagine that upon the death of this form, my personality will take flight. But whether it will transfer to another corporeal form or will move to another plane of existence, I know not.”
“Just so’s you know, Guv’ner, you ain’t no need to be afeared of me or even of Robin. We ain’t keen to eat livin’ things, only dead ones that’s been rotting a bit.”
“Oh, I did not sense any danger from your presence, Little John. I am enjoying our conversation.”
Get the Book
Buy the Kindle version of Ketil and Yitzy's Adventure in the Xura Dream House for $3.99 https://amzn.to/2ZHmryKBuy the PDF version from LBRY for 75 LBC (approximately $2.25)https://lbry.tv/@naughtynetherworldpress:d/ketil-and-yitzy-xura-dream-house-adventure:7
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Copyright InformationThe Icky, Sticky, Nit-Picky Legalese If You Please (Or Don't Please)
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October 15, 2020
First Look Friday: The Key of Eidolon: When Love is More Than Love
Note: Robin Roberts and Little John Tamboli are a pair of Cockney ghouls whose human lives ended during the influenza pandemic of 1918. They are currently visiting the ghoul carnival in Xura, the land of lost dreams.
“He laid awake and said the name into the night.”
The burly ghoul turned to look at his wiry companion, who was gazing wistfully at the moon. He noticed tendrils of fog starting to curl through Xura’s ghoul carnival. He surmised that the fog must be rolling off the sea, as the sky was still clear.
“How’s that then, Rob?” Little John inquired.
Robin Roberts was normally a roguish fellow with a sharp wit and an untamed tongue. It was extremely unusual for him to wax poetic in this fashion or for his countenance to reflect such a melancholy expression. Robin’s zeal for unlife was inspirational. For his bold manner to dissolve into such maudlin affect concerned his companion.
“I know you are aware, Johnny me boy, of the bloomin' ways in which a golden dove can affect a man's chuffin’ Horse and Cart. Sophisticated folk giraffe at a lad's starry-eyed longin' for 'is Damien Hirst Briny Marlin, but sometimes the loss of that one Newington Butts a fella fer Porridge Knife even if 'e never kissed 'er.”
“Rob, ya 're a puzzle, old Currant Bun,” Little John declared. “The bloody pair of us 'ave been undead for far longer than we was jack's, but ya Beechams Pill manage ter take me by surprise. Ya always seemed ter be the sort of Heap of Coke ter enjoy a Jack Palance and a Tiddley Win' wif various vixens. Most of the nickel and dime, it's ya cheerin' me chicken pen I'm feelin' melancholy for wot I long for in vain. Let me be the wahn ter bolster ya up na, lad. Tell me of the Gooseberry Puddin' what's makin' yer unbeatin' Horse and Cart bleed.”
“She wasn't a Gooseberry Puddin' but a twist n twirl, old Fruit Gum, and I was but a lad of twelve,” Robin explained quietly, wiping a gelatinous tear from his undead eye. “We attended the same Bo-le and Glass at the old Lyon school. 'Er name was Betsy Bowes and 'er mum, Bess, taught arts and crafts and sewin' and the loike, tryin' 'er Mae West ter 'elp young folk get ready for Porridge Knife in the 'ardscrabble world. Ya kna when love is more than love, John. 'Eaven and 'ell, that's 'a it was for me and Bets, and I counted meself lucky ter 'ave found the wahn at a young age.”
“Oi, just Elephant and Castle that carrion for us, would ya, Old Pot and Pan?” Little John asked the Corpse-monger, who proceeded to wrap a moldering human buttock and a corrupt chunk of calf with the shinbone still intact in a decaying old sack made from clothing worn by the departed. The gleeful ghoul screwed a lid on a rusty bucket of putrefied entrails and parceled a collection of eyes and ears into a moldy pickle jar, handing them to the pair.
“C'mon, Rob, let's take a mo ter sit and Bowler Hat, just the pair of us. Ter 'ave carried this Pieces of Eight on your soul aw these Donkey's Ears and never even told your Mae West mate--it must cut ya deep, old chap. Let's get it Frank Bough your Bird's Nest, yeah?”
~Cie for Naughty Netherworld Press~
https://mindlovemiserysmenagerie.wordpress.com/2020/10/09/first-line-friday-october-9th-2020/This is a chapter from Naughty Netherworld Press’ WIP novel, The Key of Eidolon, which is a sequel to our first Tales from the Dreamlands book, Ketil and Yitzy’s Adventure in the Xura Dream House.
Intrigued?Get the Book
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Copyright InformationThe Icky, Sticky, Nit-Picky Legalese If You Please (Or Don't Please)
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Readers Roost: Bound to Protect Blurb Blitz
This sounds like an exciting and intricate story. Give it a look!
Readers Roost: Release Blitz: How the Strawberry Got Its Seeds
This looks like such a cute book! I'll be reviewing it later on. If any of you naughties have kids, grandkids, nieces and nephews, or whomever that you'd like to give a nice present, they might enjoy this book.
October 14, 2020
WIP Wednesday: The Key of Eidolon: Halfmoon Happenings
Free Use Image from PixabayNote: This is a segment from my WIP, The Key of Eidolon. It was inspired by the Tale Weaver prompt. Robin Roberts is a Cockney ghoul whose human life ended during the 1918 influenza pandemic. His friends have encouraged him to tell the story of his girlfriend Betsy, something he has never spoken of before.
Halfmoon Happenings
“I thank ya kindly, me golden dove,” Robin said to the serpent mystic. “It's a bleedin' star that ya are. I daan't exactly kna where ter begin, so I guess I’ll start on the day that we Bear's Paw the stranger and everythin' changed forever.
“Betsy was the eldest child in 'er family, and she 'ad three brothers. Elliott was three years old and Cecil was two, so they bof stayed Pope in Rome wif their nan, along wif their Basin Of Gravy Blister Gloria, 'oo was but ten months old. Dexter was ten years old, so 'e walked ter school wif Betsy and me. The patriarch of the family, Mills Bowes, 'ad, sadly, taken Jimmy Hill and died of rheumatic Robinson And Cleaver five months previously, leavin' Bess ter raise the children. Fortunately, she 'ad the competent assistance of 'er mum and Betsy ter clock 'er through.
“Along the way, Betsy, Dexter, and I discussed the Aw 'Allows eve celebration ter take place on the last Friday night of the monf. When Father Damon expressed the belief that Aw 'Allows Eve should be a somber occasion rather than a sprightly celebration, me clever Betsy placated 'im by suggestin' that we call the celebration 'Alfmoon 'Appenings instead, and 'e was agreeable.
“So, there we were discussin' wot we needed ter do ter prepare for 'Alfmoon 'Appenings while walkin' ter school on that typical Tuesday Day's Dawnin' chicken pen we Bear's Paw the bloomin' Queen’s Park Ranger. A shadowy and imposin' figure 'e was, and we couldn’t clock 'is Chevy Chase under the brim of 'is tit for tat. Betsy reached instinctively for Dexter’s St. Martins-Le-Grand and I reached for 'ers.
“There was a dustin' of sna on the Penny-A-Pound, and I noticed that there were nah footprints before or behind this peculiar chap, but I said nuffin' as I didn’t wish ter frighten Betsy or Dexter. There were imprints of a cart or carriage’s wheels ter either side of 'im, and I supposed that 'e could 'ave just disembarked from such, but there was summit abaht 'im that gave me pause.
“’E was a somewhat disheveled-lookin' chap wif an Isle Of Wight red Strange'n'Weird. 'Is Afloat and kacks were rumpled, and 'is tit for tat was a bit too big for 'is Crust of Bread.
“’The change of season has come, can’t be denied now,’ he said with a chuckle as we passed by, and to me ‘is voice sounded buzzy. ‘The snow brings the change into something rich and strange. Changes coming fast and furious now. I do love this time of year, don’t you, young folk?’
“’We do indeed, Sir,’ Betsy said politely, for that was her nature. ‘Our school and church are putting together a harvest festival called Half Moon Happenings. There will be apples from my family’s orchard and many other wonderful things to enjoy. Do stop by if you’re still in the area.’
“’That’s most solicitous of you, young miss,’ the chap declared in his buzzing voice, tipping ‘is hat slightly but not completely removing it. ‘If my commander has not dispatched me to other ports by that time, I shall take you up on your offer. Do have a productive day, youthful citizens.’
“’Robin, really, you’re so suspicious,’ Betsy scolded, and I realized I’d been squeezin’ ‘er hand too tight and hurt ‘er fingers, fer which I apologized profuse-like.”
~Cie for Naughty Netherworld Press~
https://mindlovemiserysmenagerie.wordpress.com/2020/10/08/tale-weaver-296-stranger-8th-october/This is a chapter from Naughty Netherworld Press’ WIP novel, The Key of Eidolon, which is a sequel to our first Tales from the Dreamlands book, Ketil and Yitzy’s Adventure in the Xura Dream House.
Intrigued?
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Copyright Information
The Icky, Sticky, Nit-Picky Legalese If You Please (Or Don't Please)
Copyright 2020 by Naughty Netherworld Press
Reblogging is acceptable on platforms that allow it. LBRY’s reblog function is called repost, which makes things confusing since reposting is considered a no-no on most platforms. It’s fine to share the post using the repost function on LBRY. It is not okay to copy-paste the material into a new post.
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October 13, 2020
Readers Roost: Book Spotlight: A Family For Christmas
If you like holiday romance and you like cowboys, then A Family for Christmas by Nola Cross is the book for you. Come check it out at Readers Roost.
Invasive Motivations: MFRW Book Hooks 14 October 2020
http://mfrwbookhooks.blogspot.com
The Blurb
Geeky Gandy Stafford's lifelong fantasy comes true when he meets the otherworldly Dorma and Desyra. These last remnants of a botched extraterrestrial invasion discover that they require a great deal of energy to maintain their human forms.
The easiest way to obtain essential power?
Sex, and lots of it.
The Snippet
“We have always known there was life on other planets,” said Dorma.
“Right. Which is why you were coming here to invade.”
“The fleet was coming here to invade,” said Desyra.
“Yeah, but you’re the admiral.”
“We were following orders,” said Dorma.
“Yeah, totally. I get it. But, like, I think you guys are better than that. I mean, I’m getting to know you here, and I think you’re pretty nice and all. But we’ve got to teach you how to sound a little more human. Come on, let’s watch a movie together so you can hear what an actual woman talks like.”
Get YoursThere are two ways to get your hands on Coming to Earth.
Buy the Kindle version on Amazon for $0.99
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https://lbry.tv/@naughtynetherworldpress:d/coming-to-earth:f
Get Coming to Earth as part of the Carnal Invasion Collection, which includes the first four stories in the Carnal Invasion series.
Get the Kindle version on Amazon for $3.99
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The Icky, Sticky, Nit-Picky Legalese If You Please (Or Don't Please)
Copyright 2020 by Naughty Netherworld Press
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