C.K. Robertson's Blog, page 6

Fighting Systematic Racism as a 'White-Passing' Mixed Person

Src: Pinterest

Hello Readers & Friends,

A very different sort of post today. I realise I never really delve into anything remotely controversial or political on here, even though I have two degrees in politics. I like to keep everything light and book-related in general. But with everything happening currently, I feel it's crucial to take the opportunity to talk openly about institutional and systematic racism, on a personal level. This has taken me days and days of writing and rewriting, checking and double-checking, because I find it hard to express myself clearly with something so emotional. But we have to speak up, even if we get it wrong, because staying silent helps nobody. (And if you say the wrong thing, it's okay, you can learn from your mistakes and grow from them.)

I am mixed race. My mother is Japanese, and although I will never understand how it is to be black, I think that my childhood has made me a little bit more sensitive because of experiences I had growing up that a fully white person may not have to experience. (My mum being told to go back to her own country, being called a 'chink' at school, being asked where I'm 'really from' by confused randomers, etc.)

However, I grew up in a super white town, and went to uni in one of the whitest parts of Scotland, and systematic racism is an issue which was never really discussed or even considered when growing up.
As a result of this, something that I didn't fully understand until as late as after university was that racism without malice is still racism. You don't have to believe that you're better than another race to be contributing to institutional racism. You can be racist without meaning to be.

For example - and one that sits uncomfortably with my teenage-self-  if you're laughing at jokes where the punchline is race-related, you're playing a part in a big, societal problem. I was too ignorant and unaware of life's realities to know this. Now I'm not. And I know I'm not the only one - I know that millions of people are probably allowing systematic racism to continue around them whilst honestly believing they're not contributing to the problem.
Ignorance means many people believe certain things are not harmful, when actually, they really are. The thing is, these acts of everyday racism that happen have all been 'normalised', which is why so many people go day by day unaware of its existence. Actually, these 'little' things are the root of all societal race problems.
But it's never too late to educate yourselves, become aware, and change your actions.

One of the first things we can do is speak up. One example of 'little' everyday racism is all the instances when I was working at a bar, and someone would squint at me and ask 'where are you actually from?' At the time I would just normalise it as conversation. If someone asked me now, I would answer differently, and speak up. It's not their business, and singling me out for the way I look is something that makes me uncomfortable and I would ask them to consider why my heritage, as a stranger and a minority, is of any importance to them, and to consider the root of why they are asking me. It's the same for my friend at uni who constantly had people trying to touch her hair. It bothered her, but it was so normalised that she wouldn't make a fuss when it happened. Again, just because you don't mean any harm, doesn't mean you're not causing any. Something I've learnt is that if you see this sort of behaviour happening as a white person, you should feel ready to speak up against it.

Now that I'm older, more educated, and with more life experience, I'm ashamed of my own ignorance and white-passing privilege. I think many mixed people may have the same struggle I have: I'm mixed enough to be hyper-aware, and white enough that I don't feel educated on the matter and like I don't have the 'right' to an opinion.
I have come to understand that the only way to fight the system is to educate yourself and to speak up. And it's the only way that children growing up will be able to understand how everyday societal racism is affecting not only African-Americans, but black people everywhere.

What is happening in America is not okay, but generations of ignorance, historical racism and unconscious stereotyping has let it happen. White people must all be held accountable for what is going on, the parts we've played (even if unknowingly), and do our best to end it. Just because none of us here in the UK can imagine walking down the street and being killed by the force meant to protect us, doesn't mean it's not important. The underlying thing we have to remember - George Floyd was killed over a false claim of forgery, and would that claim have been made had he been white?

I wanted to share some resources to help educate everybody on what it is to live with white privilege, to understand better what daily struggles black people go through, and resources on how anybody with white privilege can help the fight against systematic racism.

It's not about being sorry for what's happening, it's about holding ourselves accountable for our own ignorances and doing all we can to stop passively supporting and begin actively supporting our black community. It's not enough to share an IG post because it's trending and forget about it a few days later. It's not enough for big corporations to send out social media posts saying 'black lives matter' and continue posting mostly white models and forgetting it's an issue all the rest of the year.

Sometimes it's hard to do the right thing, even now I'm wondering if I've said too much or too little in this post, I'm wondering who the hell I am to even be writing it or to feel the way I feel.  But if we all thought this way, nothing would ever change.

We all need to educate, educate, EDUCATE ourselves, open our eyes to the reality of how the world is being run, and fight against it by speaking up and up and up.
And if you're not comfortable speaking up and aren't sure with how to word things, share posts from people who are. Just don't stay silent, and don't continue living in ignorance.

Resources I'd like to share:
1. @Das.Floyd IG post: How Can I Help From the UK? 
2. Donate to the George Floyd memorial fund
3. Follow Kelechi Okafor and her podcast for educational stories
4. My Friend Asked Me to Describe White Privilege by Lori Hutcherson
5. What Is White Privilege, Really - Tolerance
6. Anti-Racism Resources for White People
7. Follow Rachel Cargle
8. Causes to donate to list
9. Mapping Police Violence
10. Dazed list of anti-racist resources
11. Black Lives Matter

If anyone has any more great resources (I know there are thousands out there being shared RN!) don't feel afraid to send them my way so I can read and learn more.

I will now be muting myself on IG as part of the #AmplifyMelanatedVoices movement, to quieten the noise and allow the voices that need to be heard, be heard. I will be back on the 7th!

Thank you,
C x

May Favourites | A Monthly Roundup

 Hello Readers & Friends,
A long month! I was furloughed for most of May, so I had three weeks off. I had a whole list of all these activities I wanted to do, of course most of them fell to the wayside. I've learnt mostof Comptine d'un autre été on the piano, and started a front-end dev course which kept my brain busy. I also read, a lot, though a lot of it felt like it was because I 'had to' due to the extra time. I found halfway through that I hit a slump where I wasn't really in the mood to read, and overcame this by either re-reading or picking up shorter books that I knew I could finish.
April Book Roundup: So as mentioned above, my reading roundup this month is the longest of the year, (11 this month! I don't think I've EVER read more than four books in a month!) but I still count it as a slump because I was struggling to find motivation to read a lot of them. Ahead of my Goodreads goal though, so happy about that. This month there were some really good ones in there, as well as some disappointments...Crown of Midnight by Sarah J. Mass ****
After by Anna Todd ***
After We Collided by Anna Todd *
Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte ***
The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky ****
The Boy, The Mole, The Fox and the Horse by Charlie Mackesy *****
The Mysterious Benedict Society by Trenton Lee Stewart ****
Normal People by Sally Rooney *****
Chain of Gold by Cassandra Clare ***
Pax by Sara Pennypacker *****
The Flatshare by Beth O'Leary ***
TVI won't talk about Friday Night Lights again because I featured it the other month but I finished it this month and it was very emotional. I hold no qualms saying I think it's one of the best TV series I have ever seen, only overtaken by Game of Thrones and only due to the fact a lot of characters mysteriously disappear.


The 100 -  Amazon Prime
I restarted The 100, which is one of my all-time favourites. Season one and two are the best, and I absolutely devoured them. It's set at a time when the world is too radioactive to inhabit, and the human race have been surviving in space for generations. But when they discover their oxygen supply is close to depletion, they send down 100 delinquent under-18s from prison to test if Earth is survivable. It is, but they discover there are already people down there... really recommend for anyone who likes The Hunger Games-style things. Can't recommend enough, and it's not finished yet, season 7 is only coming out now so it's the perfect time to get involved!
Film


Fight Club - Amazon Prime

Fight Club is one of those cult films I haven't watched and don't really know why. Anything with 'drama' in the genre I tend to steer away from unless I'm in a very specific mood, but I decided enough was enough, it has to be watched. I'm glad I did. Though I spent the first hour confused and a little bleak (I found Edward Norton's character hit a little close to the bone for my liking), once I started to piece together what was happening and made a guess for what was really going on, it got a lot better (my hypothesis was correct!) The end is a flurry of action and twists and jaw-dropping moments, I really, really enjoyed this. 5 stars!



Dead Poets Society - Streamed

As part of this 'catch up on cult films' vibe, I watched The Dead Poets Society. I can't really explain how much I loved this film. From the aesthetic to the acting to the storyline, I'm 100% obsessed. Everything about this film was a vibe. Everything about it touched me, and I hope I can rewatch it 500 times more and get it tattooed on my body. How can any film moment ever top O Captain, My Captain!?
Books

I read so many great books this month. My favourites were The Boy, The Mole, The Fox and the Horse, Normal People, and Pax. I've written a review for Normal People,  have one coming for Pax, so it's only fair I speak about The Boy, The Mole, The Fox and the Horse in my highlight! I spoke about it on my Instagram but it was a beautifully illustrated story of friendship, life lessons and self-belief. I'll be gifting it to everyone I know who doesn't already own it. It's the modern-day Winnie The Pooh, really a book to be treasured and words to be held close.


Misc.
Ramen
I made a quick cheat-ramen! I hate cooking so this was great for me because it takes ten minutes and is honestly so delicious and full of flavour.
I use a packet of Chicken Supernoodles for the base. Marinate a soft-boiled egg for an hour in soy sauce, garlic and ginger. To the noodle base (and hidden underneath in this photo) I had stir-fried cabbage thinly sliced and lots more chicken. The chicken was ready-cooked chicken breasts which I thinly sliced and fried to re-heat. Then I added pickled cabbage and spring onions. You can add chilli as well. Super quick and full of ready-made cheats so you can enjoy a bowl of ramen after getting an anime-infused craving. 


Running

I've been running recently, doing the Couch-to-5k programme using the app for guidance. I'm on week 8 now, so very nearly at the end. It's been horrible, and I don't enjoy it at all, but I'm proud at how far I've come. At the start I struggled to jog 3 minutes, and now I can do 28 non-stop. (Very slowly, of course. My pace is tragic.) Where I live is extremely hilly, which made it all worse, and the heatwave has made it difficult as well. I've been waking up at 7 to run before it hits 18 degrees, but recently I found another park to run in which is a little farther from my home but a lot flatter, and it's so beautiful! So I took some photos. I'll finish the programme this week, and then I suppose just focus on increasing my speed. As I said, I don't enjoy it, but it's important for my mental health to keep exercising during lockdown and I was getting bored of Youtube Hiit videos. This is a nice way to get fresh air.









PicCrew

I noticed everybody on Bookstagram had new profile pictures, and discovered PicCrew. It became my new in-the-bath hobby, soaking and creating tiny little versions of me. I thought I'd share some of my favourites, they're so cute.


Would-be-wedding Ceremony

The 29th was when we were supposed to be doing the legal part of our marriage. It wasn't a big day, we were just going to go to town hall and sign the papers then have dinner with our parents and some drinks, but we ended up getting sent some beautiful flowers from my work and opening some champagne and doing a big video call with our parents. Then we had a BBQ and just had a lovely day all-round.


Music



Good Life - Jesse McCartney

We started rewatching Malcolm In The Middle, which reintroduced me to the wonder that is Jesse McCartney. GREAT flashback tune.



Devil town - Tony Lucca
The end of Friday Night Lights saw me listening to this on repeat. Full hearts, clear eyes, can't lose!

 How was your month?Love, C x 

Book Review & Playlist : The Perks of Being a Wallflower

Hello Readers & Friends,

After getting through Wuthering Heights (bleak AF btw), I decided I needed a quick and easy read, so I re-read The Perks of Being a Wallflower. I was given this book from an ex when I was 19 and hadn't read it since, so it was like reading it for the first time again as I barely remembered anything.

It wasn't much less bleak than Wuthering Heights, to be honest! I was shocked at how many casual references to sexual abuse were in it, as I hadn't remembered anything other than the 'main incident.'
I also found reading it that Charlie read a lot younger than his intended 15, which was something I had worried about in my own character, Cooper, who is in a lot of ways quite similar to Charlie. It's hard to get a male teenage character authentically naive and vulnerable without making them seem a lot younger than they are, so as it was something I struggled with myself, it didn't bother me too much reading it elsewhere as I understand the difficulty.


I really enjoyed it, as much as I did the first time reading it. It tackles difficult issues and does so in what I think is a respectful and tactful way. I forgot how much I love Patricks character as well. I think I would have enjoyed it more had it not been laid out in the letter format, as it means a lot happens very quickly without much character building in-between, but that's okay. I still gave it 4 stars - I think it's a modern classic.

Something I noticed was how many songs Charlie mentions and how great they all are. Many of them are in my own writing playlist, so I wanted to put them all together in one place to share with you guys.

I hope you enjoy listening to it as much as I did.



Love, C x

Book Review: Normal People by Sally Rooney

Hello Readers & Friends,

Okay, I know I'm waaaay behind the times with this one. Normal People was nominated for the Man Booker Prize in 2018 and recently a popular TV adaption has been released. Everybody has been raving about the show, but me being me had to read the book before watching it.

So after a raving review from my friend Kate, I downloaded it on Kindle and 2 hours later here we are. I gave it 4.5 stars - 5 on GoodReads.

I think it's a beautiful story about class divides, love, vulnerability, abuse and pain. I went into it having no clue what to expect, and was happy to find it's set in Ireland, which is sadly quite rare. It follows the relationship between Marianne, from wealth, and Connell, working class. Bonded by their intellect and political interests, it begins with them in school and follows their crossing paths through university and beyond.

I found it to be very sad, at times quite frustrating, but always realistically bleak. It's a great depiction of a 21st century romance between two broken spirits looking for comfort and stability and too afraid to commit to each other in case of rejection. Marianne is a loner and reject at school, somewhat coming into herself at college, whereas Connell goes from effortless popularity at school to feeling out of place and lost at uni.

I think ultimately it's a story about hope, and the power of connection. It uses simple, confident prose that hit the message home with elegance, skipping out the la-la-flourish and lit-fic fluff that I've struggled to enjoy with literary fiction titles, such as The Goldfinch. In this case, less really is more, and a simple description of the way Marianne rolls her eyes says more than a paragraph of monologue and inner-thoughts could hope to achieve.

Still from TV adaption
 The only thing that bothered me was that Rooney uses no quotation marks. This drove me insane, and it took me half the book before I got used to reading dialogue with no speech marks without concentrating doubly hard. For me it interrupted the flow and made it more difficult to follow than it needed to be - I can't see any positives to writing dialogue without quotation marks and after a quick Google, can't find an answer for why this was done. If anybody knows why she did this, let me know!

An example from page 1:

Marianne was telling me you got your mock results today, Lorraine says.
We got english back, he says. They come back separately. Do you want to head on?
Lorraine folds the rubber gloves up neatly and replaces them below the sink.

So you can see that it's a little bit harder to follow who is saying what, though my brain did climatise to it eventually. It also would have been nice to see more Irish dialect and lexicon, but I appreciate this could be isolating and not so inclusive, particularly for American readers.

Looking on GoodReads I can see a lot of people didn't enjoy the story, and found it perhaps monotonous or faux-tragic. But at under 300 pages covering a span of half a decade I don't think anything is dragged out or too slowly paced. I could relate to aspects of both the main characters, but particularly Connell. I think that if you look at it as a fictional study of self-confidence and broken characters, and not as a love story, it's something truly special.

I can't wait to watch the TV series now!

Love, C x

TIJN Blue-Screen Glasses

Hello Readers & Friends,

Today I'm sharing something a little different. I've worked with TIJN eyewear and homeware a few times before, because I like having lots different style glasses to suit my outfits. My eye problems involve light, not vision, so I don't have a normal prescription and the only prescription glasses I have are super ugly and I only use for dark-light driving. So most of the time if you ever see me in glasses, they're actually clear. (I'm such a faker.)


TIJN contacted me recently because they have a new range called Orange by TIJN. They are basically blue-light blocking lenses, which means that when you are using a screen for a long time, they block out the unnatural blue light that screens emit to make it easier on your eyes. I JUMPED at the chance to try some of their glasses out because I struggle with terrible migraines, and always have to set my laptop to night-light setting to eradicate the blue light anyway.




If working on a computer all day gives you a headache or makes your eyes hurt, I really, really recommend trying some blue light-blocking glasses. These are also super inexpensive options. On their website it looks like they have more expensive frame versions, but the ones I have are available on the company Amazon account where they're only about £17. 


This is the first pair I bought. It's these frames in the colour Tortoise. I like oversized frames so these are great for me, and I really like the square shape. 


 The second pair (below) I got are these frames in the colour Leopard. These are a little more bold as they are white, and stand out more. I'll save these for days when my outfit is very minimalist to balance the look out.

They actually sent me a third pair in the wrong colour - a smaller, rounder pair in the Tortoise shade.  I haven't photographed myself wearing these because I've decided to do a giveaway for them over on my Instagram, so if you want to win them then follow me over there and I'll be announcing it in the next couple of days. I don't need three pairs, I'll be living in these two for the foreseeable future and waving goodbye to my headaches! I didn't want to put the third pair on in case I got them dirty, so you'll be getting a brand new and boxed pair.




These glasses were kindly gifted to me by TIJN but I have not been paid for this post, nor have I been asked to host the giveaway. All opinions are my own.

Love, C x

Book Review & Vlog: Crown of Midnight by Sarah J Mass

Hello Readers & Friends,

Today I am reviewing Crown of Midnight by Sarah J Mass. I also vlogged this experience and drank every time she gushed about how handsome somebody was, so there's that.

If you read my review on Book 1, Throne of Glass, then this will be a similar sound. The first hundred pages are just absolute garbage spewing how attractive everyone and their mum is, and then the 300 after that are amazing, filled with grit, pizzaz and a twisting plot that keeps you on your toes.

Every chapter ends on a cliffhanger that makes it hard to put down. Celeana is so badass and ruthless and complex, more so in this book than the first, which makes her really relatable.
Dorian became a bit of beige suede in this book and I was a bit neither here nor there with him, but am sure that with the revelations behind his character that he will have a big part to play as the series continues.

Chaol continues on with the same steady comfort that he brought to book one. Whilst there were less clear goals throughout this storyline than in the first book (things got a bit muddled for me), by the end most of the character's motives were clear. I think one thing I would like to have a better grip on is the geography and politics of this world, but I have to assume that the third book will have a lot of this.

Also as a side point: I hated Mort. What an annoying waste of a character! All he does is be unhelpful and irritating. If I was Celeana I would have ripped him off the door!
But anyway, I gave it 3.5 stars, 4 on GoodReads. The first 100 page get 2 stars, the last 300 get 4 stars.

What did you think of this series?
Love,
C x

Rant Review: After by Anna Todd

Hi Readers and Friends,

I had so much ranting to do that I filmed a 25 min long rant filled with expletives to get my point across.
I hope no teenage or impressionable girl EVER reads this and think that it's romantic, something to aspire towards, or normal behaviour to have to go through.

This book and the sequel has absolutely no storyline other than a back-and-forth between Tessa and Hardin who have an extremely unhealthy, toxic and abusive relationship. They also have no thoughts or storylines outside of each other.

If your partner is manipulative, controlling, jealous, violent and uses sex to manipulate you - leave him. If he does inexcusable things to you - do not forgive him. This book may be 70% sex scenes designed specifically to make teenage girls fancy Hardin, but it does not cover up the fact that he is a violent, abusive partner and I cannot stress enough that NOBODY should want a relationship or a boyfriend like him.

Tessa continuously using the phrase 'passion' does not excuse his actions or personality. His crappy sob-story background does not excuse his behaviour.

*** Something I also forgot to touch on in the video is how they use sex frequently as something to either get over an argument or to prove that he loves her. I cannot stress enough that sex does not equal love. And the sheer amount of times that Hardin says he loves her during sex, to me, seems manipulative because it's done about 500 times. It's like he's brainwashing her to believe that because he is the only person to sleep with her that he's the only one who can love her or should be with her. Ick. I also felt extremely uncomfortable in the first sex scene of Book 2 where she was so drunk she didn't remember in the morning, while he was totally sober. That, to me, is sexual assault as her raunchy drunken demands don't equal proper consent. ***

Also, I didn't mention the Mum at all in the video but she is a rank, odious, slut-shaming character as well who calls her own daughter a whore. So that tells you all you need to know about her.

I can't bring myself to write much more so if you want to hear about all the gross things Hardin does to Tessa throughout about 300 chapters then please watch the video. I have After 2.5 stars and After We Collided 1 star, and urge anyone considering it to... not.


EDIT: I wanted to come back quickly and add a couple of things.
1. I read some summaries of what happens over the rest of the series, in case it got better. It sounds like most of it continues on in this back and forth unhealthy relationship way, and then in the last book or so they take a few years apart to heal separately, and Hardin sees a psychiatrist before (obviously) ending back together. While this sentiment is good, unfortunately the book does not clarify how abusive his behaviour is, nor does it show his healing process, for me, making this redundant. We are just told he goes to therapy and then comes back 'better'. Which is a load of crock after 4 books of abuse to not show the healing process.
2. Tessa is just as bad. I don't think I mentioned this but aside from calling everyone whores when she herself is a cheater, she also antagonises Hardin in all the ways she knows will provoke him. It's a very toxic and co-dependent relationship, and she is as much to blame as he is, although she's not abusing him.
3. This book is not badly written, and I want to emphasise that my one-star-rating is based on the fact that I take ratings as recommendations and I cannot in any good conscious recommend anyone read a book with as dangerous a premise as this. Any book that romanticises abuse will not be something that I can give a good rating to. THAT SAID, this book clearly made me feel a lot of emotion and I can't stop thinking about it, which signifies decent writing. If you're into smut, the sex scenes are decent apart from when he's threatening her without consent, obviously.
4. The film was okay because they downplayed Hardin's atrociousness and a lot of abuse is obviously cut out, to make it teen-friendly. So I don't hate the film and don't discourage you if you want to watch that. I liked the casting for both characters as well.
5. The reason the first book got a better rating from me was because when you find out about the bet, it kind of makes sense how rank Hardin is throughout the book. The reason the second book was 1 star and much more dangerous in my opinion is because at this point she remains with him and he professes to 'love her' when all he does is continue his abusive patterns throughout the book, no bet involved. I guess it's because in the first book he's the bad guy for a specific reason, the second book he's just generally an all-round bad guy for no reason.




Love,
C x


https://www.nationaldahelpline.org.uk/

The freephone, 24-hour National Domestic Abuse Helpline: 0808 2000 247

Planning Notebook: My First Book

Hello Readers & Friends,

It's been a long time since I spoke about Enmity, but I stumbled across my old 'planning notebook' (I use the term planning lightly,) and thought it would be fun to share how I brain-dumped my first book.

I also give a little update about what happened with Enmity and Amity and why it's currently not on Amazon, in case anyone was curious. But if you just want to see the notebook, skip 3 minutes haha.

I've actually recently started using Scrivener - only the free trial but I really like it and if I get a lot of writing done this month with it I will probably stick with it and buy the licence. Then I can do a whole new video on how I plan on Scrivener, which is much more coherent and clear than this scrambled mess!



Hope you enjoy this anyway,

Love, C x

April Favourites

 Hello Readers & Friends,
A very surreal month spent in lockdown, not allowed to leave the house except for the absolute bare minimum and still working from my sofa (my posture is really suffering!). I'm really looking forward to May, as I am being furloughed and will have three weeks off to accomplish (hopefully) a lot of things. I've made plans and signed up for a coding course, I have some vlogs I want to shoot (I've even dug out my old camera for better quality), tons of books I want to read and I want to set a few hours aside every day just for writing which I'm really excited about as my writing has taken such a backseat as of late. I hope you are all doing okay with your lockdown and aren't struggling emotionally too much.

So, here we go for what I've been getting up to in April!
April Book Roundup:I had a great month for reading and managed to finish six books, which is more than my one-book-per-week goal. A couple of them were very quick reads and the others were so good I couldn't put them down, so that helped! The Girl Who Dared to Stand by Bella ForrestEragon by Christopher PaoliniThrone of Glass by Sarah J MassSolitaire by Alice OsemanThe Ask and the Answer by Patrick NessThe 100 by Kass MorganTV
Friends

I've found myself restarting Friends for the 100th time, because at 20 minutes per episode its' the perfect length to put on during breakfast, and after work has finished to mark the end of the day while I go through my to-do list fo the next day. It always makes me laugh and is just such a good escape from real life. I'm at the part where Ross and Rachel start hooking up, which in my opinion is one of the best times in Friends!

My all-time favourite shows to re-watch are: Friends, Gilmore Girls, Sex and the City, Gossip Girl, and The 100. But I also love Friday Night Lights, Game of Thrones and Buffy.
Film
The Invisible Man

Steven and I watched The Invisible Man after seeing many recommendations. I loved it. Steven found it too scary (lol) but it was right up my street. A pacy, jumpy thriller where you were 100% on the protagonist's side. I love an unreliable hero as well, which is what we got with her. There were lots of twists and the ending was satisfying. I definitely recommend this.




BooksI read so many good books this month I don't know which was my favourite! I'm working my way through my Isolation TBR, and I think my most memorable read of the month was Eragon, but this is perhaps because I vlogged it and really was focussed on it. I really enjoyed Throne of Glass and am excited to vlog reading the second one. But I have to say, The Ask and the Answer blew me away. I gave The Knife of Never Letting Go 5 stars and didn't think the second could be as good, but it was. A complex story of the horrors of war told through two innocent souls, I just cannot wait to read the third instalment. I hear it's coming out in film soon too, which I am so excited for! Another 5 star read for me from Patrick Ness - full review here. 




Misc. Virtual Hen Party!

I had my virtual hen party! My wedding has now officially been pushed back to 2021 sadly, but on the night that was supposed to be my hen, all my friends logged on for a Zoom call and they sent me a big pack filled with fun hen-do gifts like sashes etc and we all drank wine and played games for the night and it was so much fun. I'm so lucky to have such an amazing group of girls as my friends.


Loungewear

I have obviously been living in loungewear recently. I bought this knitted set from Zara and have been enjoying it as a mid-way of getting dressed. You wouldn't sleep in it as it's knitted, but you wouldn't wear it out as it's see-through, so it's perfect for just being comfortable around the house. The whole new Loungewear category on their site is to die for. Also a shoutout to Gymshark, I've started doing the Couch to 5k and bought some of their stuff to motivate me and it is the best, high-quality sportswear I've bought in a long time. So I recommend that for anyone after activewear :)


MusicI've been doing the 30 Day Music Challenge over on my personal instagram account which has introduced lots of old favourites for me. Here are some of the songs I chose as part of the challenge:


A song that I'd want to be played at my wedding: Dramarama - Anything Anything



  A song I like that's a cover by another artist: The Pretty Reckless - Champagne Supernova



  A song I think everyone should listen to: Simple Minds - Don't You



  A song by a band I wish was still together: The Smiths - This Charming Man


How was your month?
Love, C x 

Book Review: The Ask and the Answer by Patrick Ness

Hello Readers & Friends,

I have a good book review today after the disaster that was my last read. It's rare that I read a book and give it 5 stars, then read the sequel and also give it 5 stars. But it's happened. The Chaos Walking trilogy by Patrick Ness is phenomenal and I cannot WAIT to read the third book.

So you can see my review for Book 1, The Knife of Never Letting Go, here.

As before, I love the writing style. It's so unique and says so much in few words. The way Patrick Ness conveys emotion in such little words really continues to amaze me, and is so much better than wordy, fluffy descriptions.
After the first book, which saw Todd and Viola on the run, this book shows them separated, both kept apart by two fighting sides and following them as they end up getting caught up and tangled in civil war.

The character development was delicious, particularly for Davy Prentiss, who was a key antagonist of book 1. He really began to come into his own as you understood his desires and beliefs and even, by the end of the book, sympathised with him. This line, in particular, stuck with me.
“Yer the only friend I got, pigpiss... Ain't that the biggest tragedy you ever heard?”

Todd continues to be the innocent soul of the story, the light in the darkness and the good against the bad, whilst Viola is a little more grey, wanting to do what is right but unsure of what that really means. Both of the characters go through the same difficulties when being split up and coerced into getting involved in the war, but handle it in different ways. You really feel that they are two completely separate entities and personalities, which is difficult to accomplish. Whilst Violet spends a lot of her time being defiant and fighting against what she believes to be 'bad,' Todd breaks under pressure and begins to shut down emotionally, doing what is asked from him despite knowing it's wrong.

I continue to miss the presence of Manchee, but he is replaced in part by a horse, who lovingly refers to Todd as 'boy colt.'

There is a beautiful narrative and depth to this book, as the themes of colonization continue and are complemented by the additions of the hardships of war, politics and betrayal. I love the innocence of Todd and Viola's 'romance.' There's none of that gushing or making-out that you get in other YA, and is respectful of their age and the climate under which they meet. It's just love, no sex, and it's lovely.

I know this review is a bit all over the place and rambly but it's because I'm just so excited about this series and the fact it's coming out in film. After a delicious cliff-hanger I can't wait to read the third book. It's no surprise to me that Ness has won every major award for children's literature going. His writing is astounding, his plotlines gripping, his characters painfully realistic and his themes, though dark and deep, are beautifully reflected. He is a mastermind and this series is gold-dust in the YA sphere. I could not recommend it enough .

Love, C x