Cathy Zane's Blog, page 6

My Marie Kondo Books

With the release of her Netflix series, bestselling author and tidying guru Marie Kondo has been able to share her bold decluttering philosophy with a vast new audience. While her popularity has grown as a result, Kondo has been the focal point of a storm of not altogether receptive comments on social media, especially among book-lovers reacting to her “keep no more than 30 books” policy. The running joke goes something like: “Keep no more that 30 books…on your nightstand” or “Keep no more than 30 books…on the back of the toilet.” I think any bibliophile can relate!

Being a minimalist, I actually like much about Marie Kondo’s tidying methodology. My son introduced me to her book several years ago, and we purged some 30 bags of clothes and household items—and 22 bags of books. But I still have twice that many still on the shelves of my library – and I’ve added quite a few more since then. The idea of only having thirty books is a bit horrifying, and frankly not something that’s going to happen anytime soon. But still, I found it a useful thought exercise. If I could only have 30 books, what would they be?’

There are a few fiction books, like Carlos Ruiz Zafon’s The Shadow of the Wind or Laurence Cossé’s A Novel Bookstore that I love and have read several times. (Blog# 4: Books About Books) I say I can’t imagine not owning them, but truthfully, if I knew I could always get them at the library, I would probably be able to part with them.  It would be a little harder to part with writing books that I use as reference materials. I want to be able to make notes in them and have them handy.

Nostalgia also clearly compels my choices. I have books from my childhood that would be nearly impossible to part with, especially my copy of The Little Rabbit Who Wanted Red Wings (Carolyn Sherwin Bailey,) given to me by my great-aunt in 1961. I also have a number of books that I used to read to my sons, with Goodnight Moon (Margaret Wise Brown) at the top of this list, which would also need to stay. (Blog #10 Child’s Play)

But as I travel deeper into this mental exercise, I realize it is the books that offer me inspiration that would be the hardest to not have in my possession. I want these books nearby, to pick up, open at random, and feel stirred. Several I’ve talked about before: Rumi, Rilke, and Mary Oliver all speak to my heart and soul and lift me up. (Blog# 16: Poetic Flair) Elizabeth Gilbert’s Big Magic and Julia Cameron’s The Artist’s Way are where I turn when I’m needing creative inspiration. They are the best medicine for my darker moments of fear, self-doubt and writer’s block. (Blog# 13: Books as Teachers)

Other books feel a bit like a child’s “blankie,” offering comfort and validation. Susan Cain’s book Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking would make this list. After a lifetime of feeling different, less than, and exhausted, I want the support that it offers forever on my bookshelf!

Wayne Muller’s books, especially How Then Shall We Live? Four Simple Questions That Reveal the Beauty and Meaning of Our Lives, would also make the cut. His compassion and sensitivity speak to the psychotherapist in me, naming all that I believe is vital and important about trauma, pain, and the healing process. This book is full of highlights and tabbed pages!

Finally, the newest book on my “must have” list is Donna Cameron’s A Year of Living Kindly. In a time when disconnection seems to abound and kindness often feels lacking, Cameron makes a compelling case for kindness as a path toward significant change in our lives. She offers practical suggestions for creating a kinder world in short chapters with wonderful inspirational quotes, research and wisdom. I love taking this book a chapter a week, savoring it and endeavoring to put her ideas into practice.

So, what about you – what would make your list if you could only have 30 books?

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City by the Bay

Driving south on Highway 101 in Northern California, you cross through a short tunnel just north of San Francisco and are greeted by the dramatic rise of the Golden Gate Bridge towers with The City in the background. After nearly 40 years, this view still takes my breath away and I’m filled with awe and gratitude that I have been blessed to live here. So I love any book, movie, or TV show set in my “City by the Bay” — and fortunately, there are many of them from which to choose, from the most famous to the more obscure. I’ll focus on a few in the latter category here.

In Blog #18 More Biblio-Books, I talked about Robin Sloan’s Mr. Penumbra’s 24-Hour Bookstore, probably the most well-known book that I’ll write about today. It was a mystery that was both old school and new age and included references to many San Francisco locations and the Bay Area startup world. With quirky characters and an imaginative story, I found this book to be very engaging and a lot of fun!

With Child by Laurie King is another mystery set in San Francisco. It was my first Laurie King novel, and I didn’t realize when I picked it up that it was the third in a series. (I subsequently went back and read the first two!)  Kate Martinelli is a San Francisco detective and recently out. Her partner, Lee, was seriously injured in a previous case of Kate’s and they have separated, leaving Kate adrift. Kate becomes involved with the daughter (Jules) of her fellow detective’s girlfriend when Jules begins getting mysterious calls and then goes missing while in Kate’s company. A tense “unputdownable” thriller.

Another “first read” for me (again out of order) was Kelli Stanley’s City of Sharks, a Miranda Corbie mystery. 1940’s San Francisco. Noir. The Treasure Island World’s Fair on one side of The City and Playland on the other. And featuring John Steinbeck and C.S. Forester – and longtime San Francisco Chronicle columnist Herb Caen thrown in for good measure. I couldn’t not have enjoyed this book. Miranda Corbie is a great character – I’ll be going back to earlier books to read more Miranda!

Traveling a decade further back in time was Christie Nelson’s Beautiful Illusion. Set in San Francisco in the late 1930’s, Nelson’s book is my favorite kind of historical fiction. She weaves well-researched facts into an intriguing “noir-esque” tale with engaging, well-drawn characters. I felt transported back in time to The City, trying to build a monument to peace on Treasure Island amidst worldwide tensions. It fueled my already heightened fascination for glimpses of an earlier time in the city that I fell in love with over 40 years ago. For anyone who has lost their heart to San Francisco, this book is sure to satisfy. I won’t reveal it here, but the final line of the book says it all!

A fun cozy mystery, Bonnie Monte’s The Sleeping Lady made me think back to my favorite childhood sleuth, Trixie Belden. She was bold, impulsive and daring. All the things that I wasn’t!  Monte’s protagonist, Rae Sullivan, embodied all those same traits. Convinced that the police are ignoring important clues in the murder of her best friend in San Francisco’s Golden Gate Park, she doesn’t hesitate to embark on her own investigation, blind to the peril her determination engenders. The requisite twists and red herrings ensue as her adventures unfold. It was an exciting ride and Monte had me guessing right up to the end!  I loved Monte’s depiction of familiar neighborhoods in Marin and San Francisco and of our beloved Mount Tamalpais or “The Sleeping Lady” as we locals like to call it.

Finally, in Betsy Graziani Fasbinder’s Fire and Water, pediatric surgeon Kate Murphy, who was raised by her widowed father in his Irish bar in San Francisco, gets involved with a brilliant and troubled artist, Jake. I loved the authenticity in the heartbreaking struggle Kate faces with her deep love and passion for Jake and the need to protect herself and their daughter. When long-held secrets about her own family and childhood come to light, they bring not only more grief but also understanding and forgiveness. This is a compassionate and engaging story that will stay with you long after the last page.

What about you? Have you ever “visited” San Francisco in a book or movie? Do you have a favorite?

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Psychologically Minded

As a psychotherapist, I love any book that explores the realms of psychology, from the normal and expected responses to everyday stressors or past traumas to the extremes of psychological disfunction and sociopathy. In Blog # 18, More Biblio-Books, I described that the protagonist in Stephanie Butland’s The Lost for Words Bookshop is a childhood trauma survivor who has withdrawn from the world into books to keep herself safe from the risks inherent in relationships.

Gail Honeyman’s protagonist in Eleanor Oliphant Is Completely Fine copes in a similar way with her past trauma. A self-described “nutter,” Eleanor states that she is “…happiest in the background being left to my own devices,” and that “Asking for help was anathema to me.” But then an unlikely and compassionate friendship changes everything. I came to love Eleanor and even started reading more slowly to forestall having to say goodbye. Honeyman is masterful in unraveling Eleanor’s past trauma in a way that is both reassuring and surprising right to the end. This was a wonderful, uplifting read — laugh out loud funny at times, poignant at others. I know Eleanor will stay with me for a long time!

Entangled Moon by E. C. Frey also explored the impact of childhood trauma albeit in a much more suspenseful way. I couldn’t put this book down! I read it in two evenings, staying up late to finish it. There is a lot to follow –with many POVs and storylines — but it is well worth the effort. The primary protagonist, Heather, has escaped an abusive childhood to create a new life. But a secret from her past, shared with her childhood friends, haunts her and threatens to destroy the life she has built. As she and her friends come together for their annual reunion, the threat becomes imminent and they realize they must finally confront it. Emotions are heightened and the tension palpable. Frey does a masterful job of revealing the nuances of memory from the POVs of her different characters in a thrilling story that took several unexpected turns and illustrated that things aren’t always what we think. To avoid spoilers, I won’t say more other than there was one twist in particular that I thought was especially satisfying.

Another psychological thriller involving past trauma was The Woman in the Window by A. J. Finn. I’ve been craving another Gone Girl or The Girl on the Train and I thought this book would fit the bill. It exceeded my expectations, turning out to be so much more than just a psychological thriller by satisfying the mystery lover, the film noir fan and the psychotherapist in me. As Stephen King said, it really is “unputdownable.” I generally love “figuring it out” before the end of the book, but Finn had me second guessing myself right up to the conclusion. I was a character in that film noir — unsure, doubting, questioning. It was fabulous fun!

The Wife Between Us by Greer Hendricks and Sarah Pekkanen also kept me guessing. It was quite a ride with multiple plot twists, unlike any other psychological thriller I have read. I have to admit this one started a bit uneven for me. I felt confused in that sense of “something’s really off here.” And it was, as you learn in the first reveal. But that helped me regain some footing and go on to enjoy the rest of the book. There are several twists, some I expected and one in particular that (pleasantly) surprised me.

Her Pretty Face by Robyn Harding was another fast paced read that I loved for the psychological insights, great character development and reminder that things aren’t always what they seem! Told in three POVs and alternating between past and present, the story had the perfect amount of suspense and twists for me– enough to keep me reading but not so much so to rob me of sleep or give me nightmares!

A final book that I’ll add to this category is The Swan Thieves by Elizabeth Kostavo. A slow-unfolding mystery rather than a thriller, the book is told in multiple POVs and alternates between the late 20th century back to the late 19th century. The protagonist, a psychiatrist and painter, is thrust into the mystery involving art, love, and obsession when a renowned painter becomes his patient after attacking a painting in the National Gallery of Art. Much like A. J. Finn’s book, I thoroughly enjoyed this story on many levels.

Delving into the human psyche is clearly a passion of mine and I enjoy the many ways authors explore it in books. What about you? Are there any books such as these that you have found fascinating or enjoyable?

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YA: Then and Now

Young Adult Fiction can be hard to define. It loosely applies to books that would be read by teens, and yet the age span from 12 to 19 is developmentally wide and vast. Books that appeal to an older teen may not be appropriate for a younger teen. The content can vary from “light and sweet” to “dark and disturbing.” The latter often include relevant current issues and can be very poignant and thought-provoking. I know that many adults, including myself, enjoy many of the wonderful novels that are designated to the YA genre.

One current example is Angie Thomas’ The Hate U Give, about a sixteen-year-old girl, Starr, who witnesses the murder of a childhood friend by a police officer. This book is beautifully written, addressing race and class and exploring depths of emotional terrain that are vital for our time. Starr’s first-person account of the divide between her poor neighborhood and her upper-class prep high school is authentic and illuminating. I couldn’t put it down and didn’t want it to end. It’s a YA novel that every adult should read and was recently released as a movie. I’m still trying to decide whether or not to see it, not wanting to lose the sanctity of the words on the page.

Jay Asher’s Thirteen Reasons Why is another YA novel that should be on every adult’s list, especially if you’re a parent. Teen Hannah Baker leaves behind tapes outlining the thirteen reasons why she committed suicide. It addresses the struggles and traumas many teens experience and, in some ways, leaves more questions than answers. Nevertheless, it raises relevant issues to ponder and address. It was also translated to the screen in a Netflix series.

Another important and industrious book was I’m Not Your Perfect Mexican Daughter by Erika L. Sánchez. Having worked with immigrant teens for many years as a psychotherapist, I found the issues explored in this book relevant and timely. The protagonist, Julia, has to navigate not only her own grief following her sister’s tragic death, but also the grief of her Mexican parents and extended family which exacerbates the already challenging cultural and emotional divide she experiences with them. She feels different, unable to place herself, and disconnected. I found myself empathizing with her in much the same way that I have with many of the teens I have worked with in therapy.

I’ve been drawn to these types of emotional struggles in YA books since I was a teen, perhaps foreshadowing my future career. One of the books that I felt most impacted by in high school was Sylvia Plath’s A Bell Jar. The authenticity and depth with which it was written fascinated and terrified me. Today, the historical window into mental health treatment is illuminating and heartbreaking.

For a more lighthearted YA book for younger teens, I enjoyed Jenn Evans Welch’s Love and Gelato. It was an endearing story of first love and the meaning of family, with a little mystery and the charm of an Italian setting thrown in. Lina, the protagonist, pieces together secrets from her deceased mother’s past while exploring Florence and falling in love.

A similarly enjoyable story with a foreign setting was Stephanie Perkins’ Anna and the French Kiss. Against her wishes, Anna is uprooted from her home in the US to spend her senior year of high school in Paris. She misses home, struggles to fit in, makes new friends, and falls in love. There were some obstacles to conquer, but nothing that isn’t resolved happily. It was an enjoyable, fast-paced book that I could easily see being made into a very sweet movie.

What YA novels are on you list? Which do you think are “must reads” for adults?

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Girls, Girls and More Girls

This will be my third blog on Women’s fiction. (Blog #7: Girls Just Want to Have Fun and Blog #15: More Girls Fun) It is my genre, after all! And it is a large one; the more I explore, the more writers I find to enjoy, admire, and be inspired by.

Elin Hildebrand’s novel The Rumor was the first (of her over 20 books) that I have read. I’m not sure why it took me so long to find my way to her novels, but I’m thrilled that I finally did. I can see why she is called the “queen of the summer novel.” The Rumor was so much fun and also very real. It was a great reminder that life is messy, and that while we may get our happy ending it might not be the one we thought we wanted!

I followed The Rumor with The Matchmaker, which I liked, even when I didn’t. To be fair, it wasn’t (spoiler alert) the light Hildebrand beach read that I expected. It is a sad but real story that faces hard truths including the protagonist’s illness and death. But life goes on, often in surprising and positive ways, for those left behind. It’s emotional, poignant, and ultimately hopeful even when all hope is gone.

Hildebrand is an inspiration to me as a writer, writing one to two books a year. I aspire to be that prolific! But I am also inspired by her personal story of going through breast cancer surgery while writing The Rumor. She continued to write, care for her children, and travel for speaking engagements. It speaks to both my need to write no matter what else is going on in my life as well as the escape and rejuvenation that I feel when writing.

Another author that I’ve discovered since starting this blog is Susie Orman Schnall. I first read her novel On Grace, with the universal themes of marriage, friendship, and identity that were very similar to those in my first novel, Better Than This. Orman Schnall’s protagonist, Grace, was very relatable. At a time when she is struggling with discontent in her marriage, she reconnects with and old boyfriend and is reminded of the girl she was back then. Who among us hasn’t felt the pull of our younger selves and past loves when life disappoints us and things get tough? And is that pull necessarily a bad thing, or does it help us find our way back to a more authentic, honest, and content self?

As soon as I finished On Grace, I ordered Orman Schnall’s next book, The Balance Project. Much as she did in On Grace, Orman Schnall brought the protagonist’s inner struggles into the light of day where I found myself easily relating and empathizing with her. Fears, weaknesses, hopes, dreams, and questionable decisions yielded growth and ultimately a happy ending. But not without some twists and turns that kept me fully engaged. I appreciated the theme of “finding balance vs. having it all” and felt compassion for both of the main female characters, Lucy and Katherine.

In my last post, Blog #17: More About Books, I wrote about discovering Jenny Colgan based on the title of one of her books, The Bookshop on the Corner, which is also about a woman following her heart and coming into her own. The protagonist, Nina, loses her job as a librarian in Birmingham, relocates to Scotland, and begins a new life for herself by buying an old van and transforming it into a mobile bookshop. It was a charming, heartwarming read.

Kerry Fisher is another author now on my “to read” list. I really enjoyed and appreciated her novel, The Silent Wife. It is the story of the second wives of two Italian brothers and all the baggage that entails, not the least of which is an overbearing and critical mother-in law. But it was also an honest and insightful portrayal of how confusing and pervasive self-doubt and self-blame can be in an abusive relationship. It sheds compassionate light on the difficulty that abused women have reaching out for help and had several parallels to my first novel, Better Than This.

Women’s fiction often allows us to see our lives reflected in the protagonist’s story. Have you ever read a book that felt like it was telling your story?

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More Biblio-Books

In Blog #4: Books About Books, I described my love of book-related books. The words book, bookstore, book club, library, bibliophile and any other reference of the kind will easily grab me and pull me in, and I’m always on the lookout for new material.

In my quest, I came across Midnight at the Bright Ideas Bookstore by Matthew Sullivan. It is as much a mystery as it is a Biblio-book. As I’ve mentioned before, I’m a bit sensitive when it comes to violence and it was a little grislier than I might have liked. But I’ve also described how much I love mysteries and this one pulled me in. I was invested in both the story of Lydia and Joey and the mystery surrounding them. It was a sad story in many ways, but also a satisfying one that I’m glad I read.

Another book I chose for the title is Robin Sloan’s Mr. Penumbra’s 24-Hour Bookstore and I was pleasantly surprised by yet another mystery that was both old school and new age. Set in my own backyard, I loved the references to San Francisco locations and the Bay Area startup world. With quirky characters and an imaginative story, I found this book to be very engaging and a lot of fun!

Jenny Colgan’s The Bookshop on the Corner also “had me at hello.” It was truly delightful (not a word I often use!) and a great introduction to Colgan’s work. The book was set in Scotland, which appealed to my Scottish ancestry. And the protagonist’s love of books was charming (another word I don’t use often! I think Colgan’s writing style is rubbing off on me.)

There is a great quote from the book that I have added to my list of favorites: “There was a universe inside every human being every bit as big as the universe outside them. Books were the best way Nina knew – apart from, sometimes, music – to breach the barrier, to connect the internal universe with the external, the words acting merely as a conduit between the two worlds.” (pg. 234-235) This resonated with the introvert in me and strengthened my bond with the protagonist, Nina, who is clearly an introvert herself!

The Lost for Words Bookshop by Stephanie Butland features a childhood trauma survivor and bookstore clerk named Loveday who has paid homage to her favorite novels by having their first lines tattooed on her body. This novel should have been right up my alley, but I struggled to get into it.  I almost abandoned it, but ultimately was very glad I didn’t as I cried through the ending. Loveday was a wonderful, endearing protagonist and the story was heartwarming, poignant, and enjoyable.

Kathy Cooperman’s title, Crimes Against a Book Club was intriguing to me, hinting at some kind of mystery surrounding a book club. In fact, it wasn’t a mystery and it didn’t really have much to do with the book club. It was all about the two protagonists’ need for money and how they go about getting it—an ordeal that was funny and fast-paced throughout. It’s a perfect book if you want something light and fun.

Through the Bookstore Window by Bill Petrocelli was another book that, contrary to the title, isn’t really about books. The protagonist is a bookstore owner, but that’s the extent of the book-related theme. And yet, aren’t books themselves windows through which we witness our human stories? This book is most definitely that. Told in three POVs, Petrocelli weaves the intersecting lives of his characters, Gina, Alexi, and Davey, with surprising reveals, tense action, and a very heartwarming conclusion.

I’m sure this won’t be my last blog about book-themed novels. I have several on my “want to read” list. What about you? What are your favorite books about books?

 

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The Power of Remembering

I have long felt that well-written memoirs can make for some of the most powerful narratives. The baring of one’s soul, the vulnerability, the courage, and the heartfelt expression of our often painful and messy human condition is inspiring to me. That said, I have to admit that it isn’t a genre I’ve spent a lot of time reading.

As a psychotherapist I spend much time listening to the struggles of life, so in my reading time I more frequently grab something to help me escape. But I also believe in the power of telling and hearing each other’s stories—to heal, to understand, and to connect. Since signing with She Writes Press, which publishes many memoirs, I’ve read and become a bigger fan of the genre.

Years ago, I read a memoir written by Sue Monk Kidd and her daughter, Ann Kidd Taylor: Traveling with Pomegranates: A Mother and Daughter Journey to the Sacred Places of Greece, Turkey, and France. I had read and enjoyed Sue Monk Kidd’s novels and was drawn to the travel aspects of the book. The struggles that each of the women grappled with in the book, and the symbolism drawn from the places they were visiting, all spoke to my belief in the power of relationship and connection in our quest for healing and self-understanding. It was a wonderful book that, as I write this, I realize I’d like to go back and read again!

We’ll Always Have Paris by Jennifer Coburn was another mother-daughter travel memoir that I related to intimately. In Blog #3: A Traveling We Will Go I talked about taking my first overseas trip to London with my young adult son and learning to let go of some of my fear in the process. Jennifer learns a similar lesson on the coattails of her teenage daughter Katie. And it was set in Paris. Need I say more?

My first She Writes Press memoir was Andrea Jarrell’s I’m the One That Got Away. I was captivated by the title and cover, curious to know from what and how she had escaped. I wasn’t disappointed. Jarrell’s willingness to be transparent and vulnerable was powerful and courageous. And her beautiful writing made it read like a novel. I couldn’t put it down. With my own abuse history, it touched me deeply and left me wanting more.

Betty Hafner’s Not Exactly Love was another She Writes Press publication about the complexities facing women in abusive relationships. Set in the sixties and seventies, Hafner describes the dilemma, the confusion, and the difficult choices that faced many women in an era before shelters and support from law enforcement. Like Jarrell, her writing read like fiction while being both courageous and insightful.

A third She Writes Press memoir that I loved was Betsy Graziani Fasbinder’s Filling Her Shoes: A Memoir of an Inherited Family. I read this book in two evenings, crying all the way. It was beautifully written, tender and real, and a wonderful tribute to the power of love and resilience. I was deeply touched and completely engaged. I can’t remember the last time I read through a book so quickly during a work week!  Betsy puts her heart and soul onto the page. I was sad to have the book end but was left feeling deeply satisfied.

Most recently, I read a truly inspirational memoir, Not a Poster Child: Living Well With a Disability by Francine Falk-Allen. I am (just) young enough that polio was not a part of my childhood reality. I’m ashamed to admit that living with the sequelae is not something that has ever been in my consciousness, but Falk-Allen has changed that with her funny, candid, honest, and informational book. My heart went out to the little three-year-old girl, alone in the hospital for months, trying to make sense of her new world — and to the girl, teenager, and woman who never gave up despite the challenges. I finished the book feeling a deeper empathy and understanding for the impact of polio on its survivors.

Have you read a personal story that stayed with you long after you finished the final page? What is the most memorable memoir that you’ve read?

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Poetic Flair

Poetry has always had the ability to communicate things for me in a deeper way than any prose could achieve. And while I’ve never been an avid follower of poetry, there have been several poets who have been particularly significant to me. The first was Khalil Gibran and came in the form of his book, The Prophet, which was given to me by a good friend in high school. It was unlike anything I’d read before and it became my constant companion and inspiration for many years.

Later, The Essential Rumi, translated by Coleman Barks, would impact me in a similar way. Beauty, love and wisdom radiate from Rumi’s poems. “The Guest House” is one of my favorites. And there are numerous short poems that I find beautiful and inspiring.  One such example is: “Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I’ll meet you there. When the soul lies down in that grass, the world is too full to talk about. Ideas, language, even the phrase ‘each other’ make no sense.”

Another poem that has been inspirational to me for most of my life is Robert Frost’s, “The Road Not Taken.” While many of the choices I’ve made in life have been traditional, others have not. And as scary as it was to make those more unconventional decisions, they genuinely have been the ones that have “made all the difference.”

The poet Rainier Maria Rilke’s book Letters to a Young Poet, also made a difference to me. Not officially poetry but the poetic prose of letters written to young, sensitive aspiring poet. One of my favorite passages, a constant beacon for me, is in Chapter 4. “…have patience with everything unresolved in your heart, and try to love the questions themselves as if they were locked rooms or books written in a very foreign language…. the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer.”

Two contemporary poets whose works stand out for me are Mary Oliver and David Whyte. Oliver’s Dream Work, in particular, is dogeared and badly in need of replacement! So many of the poems in this volume left me feeling Oliver had crawled inside my soul, reading my deepest thoughts aloud. While I’m not sure I want to name any one entry as my favorite, her poem, “Wild Geese,” is always the first to come to mind. “You don’t have to be good….” spoke intimately to the girl in me who wanted to belong but never felt quite good enough.

Two David Whyte poem’s that have been similarly inspirational for me are “Self Portrait,” in Fire in the Earth, and “Sweet Darkness,” in The House of Belonging, which ends with “…anything or anyone that does not bring you alive is too small for you.” Both poems spoke to my quest to live more fully and authentically.

Poems and poets have seemed to come into my life at times when I was needing to hear what they had to say. They comforted and inspired me and broadened my world. What about you? Has poetry played a role in your life? Do you have a favorite poet or a particular poem that inspires you or brings you solace?

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More Girls’ Fun

In Blog #7: Girls Just Want To Have Fun, I promised to revisit the Women’s Fiction genre, probably numerous times. I love reading about the complexities of women’s relationships with the many common themes that touch all of our lives: friendship, lovers, marriage and divorce, secrets and lies, betrayal, loss and grief, pregnancy, miscarriage and postpartum depression, childhood trauma and domestic violence, anxiety, depression, low self-worth and self-doubt, inner critics and controlling others, psychotherapy, healing, personal growth, empowerment, self-esteem and self-actualization. The list is endless.

Most of us have experience with at least some if not all of these issues. Reading about them, for me, is about finding new friends, feeling more connected, understanding the motivations of others, and discovering new ways to look at life and it’s many joys and struggles. There are many wonderful Women’s Fiction writers that I can’t begin to keep up. I’ll share a few more of my favorites here now, some I’ve been reading for awhile and some that I’ve newly discovered.

I’ve read several books by Jane Green and with about twenty books to her credit, I have many more to go. My first introduction to her writing was Saving Grace and it is still my personal favorite and it has many similarities to my first book. What looks like a charmed marriage on the outside is anything but, as is so often is the case with raging or abusive partners. I felt Green artfully depicted the emotional struggles Grace endures. I was engaged and rooting for her every step of the way.

One of Green’s books that pleasantly surprised me was Falling. It received a mix of some quite negative as well as positive reviews, which made me curious about what would prompt such divergent opinions. I enjoyed the unfolding love story and the protagonist Emma’s return home. At times I was on her side, at other times she irritated me. There were sad events, but then there was also the growth and healing that can come from tragedy. I felt like it captured the “real stuff” of life. Having traveled a similar path toward more authenticity in my own life, this book touched and stayed with me long after I finished it.

Two authors that I’m excited to have found recently are Kathryn Hughes and Emily Liebert. Hughes’s The Letter, while a very different story than mine, had several similar elements, including the presence of an old unopened letter. Both a love story and a mystery alternating between the WW2 era and the 1970’s, it grabbed me from the start and I read it in a couple evenings. I quickly added her subsequent books, The Secret and The Key to my “Want to Read” list!

Those Secrets We Keep was the first book I read by Emily Liebert and was so thrilled by it that I quickly followed it with several of her other books including Some Women, and I Knew You When. Her development of flawed characters and portrayal of women’s issues and at times very conflicted relationships is fresh and authentic. Her books leave me with the same satisfaction I feel when I’ve been able to sink below the superficial and really talk genuinely to a friend. I especially loved I Knew You When. I read it more slowly than typical for me because I didn’t want it to end. I wanted to savor the comfortable, warm-hearted feeling I had toward the characters as they remembered the girls they once were and found their way back to the best parts of themselves.

Another newcomer to my reading list is Sophie Kinsella with My Not So Perfect Life. The title of this book is what drew me in. I hadn’t read any of her Shopaholic Books – maybe because I hate to shop and thought I wouldn’t relate. But who hasn’t felt that their life is less than perfect at one time or another! So, I thought I’d give this a try and I’m glad I did. Her writing style was very pleasant and engaging and I loved the characters. I inwardly cheered at the conclusion. I followed this first Kinsella read with I’ve Got Your Number, a very fun and funny book. There aren’t many books that I’ve laughed out loud as much as I did with this one. Great for times when something light and fun is just what the doctor’s ordered!

What do you typically look for in women’s fiction? Light, fun? More serious depth? Or like me, does it depend on your mood?

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For The Thrill Of It All

Throughout my twenties and early thirties, my “go-to” fiction genre was Thriller. I read Robert Ludlum, Ken Follett, Tom Clancy, and John le Carré. (And loved the movies that followed many of these novels.) Maybe it was an obsession with spies or conspiracies. Or simply the adrenaline rush. But, other than children’s books, it was the only fiction I read for that period of time. I guess it was a natural progression from my steady diet of mysteries as a child.

While my current fiction reading displays a much wider brushstroke, I still enjoy the suspense of a good thriller. Some, like the Millennium Series (initially Stieg Larson and now David Lagercrantz) still carry much of the spy, crime or espionage flavor of my earlier reads. The violence in these novels was challenging for me at times, but I so loved the characters and story that I wasn’t about to put them down!

In an earlier blog (Who Remembers Trixie Belden?) I mentioned Cara Black’s Aimee Leduc murder mysteries, each set in a different arrondissement in Paris. While categorized more as mystery than thriller, Aimee’s escapades are often very thrilling to the point of nerve wracking. She has a proclivity for getting herself into harrowing and life-threatening situations.

I also enjoyed Robert Harris’s, The Ghost, a political thriller with collusion at its core. And Dan Brown’s Robert Langdon series pulled me in with the conspiracy theories and historical references. I know Brown’s works have generated much controversy and dialogue, but with an interest in religion and spirituality, I found them to be fun and engaging. And the settings were a nice bonus!

Other thriller or suspense novels I have enjoyed recently are less about espionage and conspiracy and more about interpersonal relationships. Gillian Flynn’s Gone Girl and Paula Hawkins’s The Girl on the Train are two examples. What most drew me into these books was the psychological exploration of the characters. The psychotherapist in me was fascinated with the working of their minds, wanting to figure out what made them tick.

I just finished Michelle Campbell’s It’s Always the Husband, a suspenseful tale that crossed over into Women’s Fiction, a nice blend for me. I loved following the back and forth unfolding of the relationships formed in college to where they ended up in the present day. Campbell kept me guessing. Just when I thought I had it all figured out, a new twist emerged.

Liane Moriarty’s (Blog #7: Girls Just Want to Have Fun) more recent novels, The Husbands Secret, Big Little Lies and Truly Madly Guilty, also fall into the category of Women’s Fiction with suspenseful twists. Again, it is the blend of suspense and the psychological study of the characters and their relationships that make her books so captivating for me.

I think some degree of suspense always makes a book more enjoyable for me. I’ve certainly been drawn to that since childhood and obviously have kept coming back over the years, just in differing forms. As I mentioned in Blog #2: Who Remembers Trixie Belden, I was programmed from a young age, with most likely some genetic predisposition thrown in, to love to problem solve. Discovering clues, making connections, and solving the puzzle, hopefully before the end of the book, holds a thrill of its own for me.

What about you? Are you a fan of suspense in books?

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