Cathy Zane's Blog, page 3

True Stories of Healing from Trauma

Guest blog by Anne Reeder Heck 

Healing from trauma is a gutsy endeavor. It cannot be approached with logic, nor with expectations about a quick fix. Healing requires us to dive in, to be fully present with the discomfort and ugliness, to show compassion for ourselves, and to listen intently. This has been my life’s work.

I was raped by a stranger in 1990, at age twenty-six. After that incident, I devoted fifteen years to physical, emotional and spiritual healing. I spent years browsing libraries and later the Internet to find a true story of someone who had navigated their way to wholeness after rape—a story that could give me hope in what sometimes seemed a hopeless search.

In the early years, there were very few memoirs about rape. As time passed, more true stories of healing from trauma became available. The books that were most helpful for me were those that focused less on the trauma, and more on the subsequent healing journey, detailing the emotional and spiritual insights that led an author to a place of peace and wholeness.

Mine has been an unconventional path to healing—a path I never expected to take—one with surprising twists and turns that would eventually lead to my desired end. And perhaps healing is this way for all of us, stretching us to try new things, to listen to and act on our intuition as we navigate ever closer to our personal sense of wholeness. And along the way, we have opportunity to discover the goodness, kindness, and grace of life.

Though my journey was often challenging, I wouldn’t have done anything differently. As I tally the gifts among the hardships, I find there are many. And this embrace of all the parts—my acceptance of what I term “good” and “bad”— is what has led to my own experience of peace and wholeness.

Below are a few inspiring and hope-giving stories of healing. Perhaps you’ll find comfort and inspiration among their pages.

Nancy Venable Raine’s After Silence: Rape and My Journey Back is a beautifully written story about Raine’s experience of rape. Though difficult to read, this story served as a beacon for me. Raine’s ability to share the gross reality of her trauma and the subsequent processing of her emotional wounds helps the reader connect with the journey and experience the support and triumphs alongside the author.

Amy Scher’s This is How I Save My Life: From California to India, a True Story of Finding Everything When You Are Willing to Try Anything describes Amy’s journey to healing after being diagnosed with chronic Lyme disease. Both honest and entertaining, Scher takes the reader on a healing adventure to India and beyond, sharing the interactions and awarenesses that led to her own sense of wholeness. A wonderful story of learning to nurture and care for yourself and following the still small voice that guides us to feel whole.

Edith Eger’s The Choice: Embrace the Possible is an amazing true account of surviving the Holocaust. This story teaches the reader much about courage and the power of choice, emphasizing the importance of rising above or moving beyond the challenges in our life. Wonderfully written, The Choice is a deep dive into emotions, reasoning and the powerful spirit of an exceptionally strong woman.

 

Anne Reeder Heck is author of A Fierce Belief in Miracles: My Journey from Rape to Healing and Wholeness, a powerful and uplifting story of determination and trust for anyone who believes in—or questions—the existence of miracles. Outside of writing, Anne is a speaker, healer and artist devoted to inspiring and guiding others to trust themselves, open to their intuitive guidance and experience the magic of life through ceremony, positive intention and a creative, curious spirit. You can learn more about her life and work and see her healing doll art at: www.anneheck.com

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Suburban Life

Guest blog by Sande Boritz Berger

I grew up in the 1950’s and early 60’s suburbia, which for many required certain adjustments depending on your roots and past environment. For me, moving away from the busy streets of Brooklyn and my beloved grandparents at the age of seven catapulted me into a state of shyness and insecurity, which continued through-out high school. Instead of an active participant, I became an observer, which set me apart from others but also made me feel safe. Eventually, I found my own interests and a few close friends, but because I was the youngest of my class, I felt distanced from the crowd.

I spent a great deal of time at the local library reading books about young, fictional girls who I admired. Like many girls growing up in that era, the strong female characters of Heidi and Nancy Drew were two of my favorites. Yet it wasn’t until my college years, when I realized being different and nonconforming might actually be something positive and admirable. Clubs, like photography, the school newspaper, and Acapella choir offered the creative outlets I craved, and ultimately raised the degree of self-confidence I often lacked.

Yet, it’s still difficult for me to believe that instead of choosing an exotic life of travel and mystery, after marrying and giving birth to my daughters, I found myself once again in suburbia. Though it’s even harder to understand why I’d choose to live in a house thirty-five minutes from where I’d grown up. It became the place that I would return to time and time again when my girls were just toddlers, so that I could show them the duckpond and my elementary school just a block away. At first, I found this popular cul-de-sac living stimulating as it immediately led to new friendships. Yet sometimes I craved more privacy and time alone. Something that rarely existed in suburban life.

In my second novel, Split-Level, when we first meet the main protagonist, Alex Pearl, she is standing in her kitchen, talking on the yellow wall phone with her new friend, Rona. She is a young woman whose sole purpose in life may be just sharing advice to make herself feel valuable. Newcomer Alex is quick to take the advice because it’s a small step toward bonding in this strange new environment called: Suburbia. Forget ambiguity, here’s a place where everyone knows your name, and the exact shade of your house’s siding. Yet mostly because with someone, sometimes anyone, the cold shock of all the new changes, and secret dreams put on hold, may make you feel a little less lonely.

After nearly two decades as a scriptwriter and video producer for Fortune 500 companies, Sande Boritz Berger returned to her first passion: writing fiction and nonfiction full time. Essays and short stories have appeared in over 20 anthologies including Aunties: “Thirty-Five Writers Celebrate Their Other Mother” by Ballantine, and “Ophelia’s Mom” by Crown. She is the author of two novels, The Sweetness and Split-Level. Visit her at sandeboritzberger.com

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Time Travel

As I described in Blog #8, Back in Time, I enjoy books that that transport me to times past or that have historical backgrounds. This is especially true when they have a connection to my own life, whether as a life event I’ve experienced, or an interest or fascination I’ve held. Stories that pull at some personal thread engage me more deeply than might otherwise be true.

As a lifelong lover and supporter of libraries, I couldn’t help but enjoy Romalyn Tilghman’s To the Stars Through Difficulties, with its rich history of the construction of the Carnegie Libraries in Kansas in the early 20th century. But this book is so much more. Set-in modern-day Kansas, it is a story about a group of women struggling to overcome adversity and find themselves and their connection to each other. With wonderful characters, emotional depth, a little romance, and a wonderful twist that I didn’t see coming, this was a very enjoyable and heartfelt read.

Growing up in the South in the sixties, segregation and forced integration were part of the fabric of my childhood. Eileen Harrison Sanchez’s debut novel, Freedom Lessons, took me back to those tumultuous times and the feelings of outrage and sadness that I have carried with me throughout my life. The story is told from the perspective of three main characters – a white teacher, a black teacher, and a black high school student. I was pulled quickly into all of their stories and couldn’t put the book down, reading it in two evenings.

As a fan of Grace Kelly, I enjoyed the backdrop of the historical events surrounding her marriage to Prince Rainier of Monaco and the tragedy of her death in the novel, Meet Me in Monaco by Hazel Gaynor and Heather Webb. I was completely captivated by the characters of Sophie Duval, a French perfumer who befriends Grace Kelly, and James Henderson, a British press photographer covering the events. I quickly became invested in both their individual and joint stories, making it hard to say goodbye to them at the end of the book.  It was a wonderful tale of hope, perseverance, and love.

When I travel back in time in a novel, there is not a more desirable destination than my beloved San Francisco Bay Area. I love imagining myself here in an earlier time, so Rebecca Roseburg’s book, The Secret Life of Mrs. London was pure bliss for me. From Wolf House, through my home county of Marin and into The City to Tadich Grill (where I had lunch recently!) I enjoyed Rosenburg’s depiction of place during the early 1900s. Equally engaging for me was the superb storytelling that takes the reader inside the Londons’ bohemian world and tumultuous relationship – and kept me up late reading. It was very fun to read!

Jessica Levine’s novel, Nothing Forgotten, alternates between Italy and France in 1979 and California 25 years later. The protagonist, Anna, is contacted by her Italian lover from 1979 after he sees the obituary for her expatriate aunt. I was the same age as Anna in 1979, had just read Michener’s The Drifters, and longed for European travel – so I enjoyed Levine’s attention to the description of setting as well as her ability to evoke strong emotion in her reader. I found myself feeling sad, angry, and frustrated with the character’s choices, while also feeling empathy for the context and time period in which those choices were made. Nothing Forgotten is a vibrant story about how the decisions we make can forever change the course of our lives – and how seeing our younger self through the eyes of another can bring us back when we have lost our way.

Susan Wiggs’ book, Map of the Heart, is set in in both modern-day Massachusetts (a state I visited regularly over the ten years my son was living there) and WWII France. I don’t always like dual timelines, often finding myself rushing through one time period to get back to the one I enjoy more. But I found myself equally engaged in both storylines in this novel. I loved the twists and connections that were revealed along the way as well as the relational aspects of the characters. The protagonist’s and her daughter’s emotional struggles, with the ensuing healing and growth, were especially gratifying.

Do you enjoy historical settings or references in novels? Do you find they pull at some thread in your life? What is your favorite example of this?

 

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Resilience at the Heart of a Story

Guest blog by Shelley Blanton-Stroud

I’ve always been drawn to the topic of resilience—it’s the heart of my family’s origin

story.

I grew up in Bakersfield, California, surrounded by grannies, grandpas, aunts, uncles,

and cousins, whose shared history was a Route 66 migration out of Texas and

Oklahoma during the 1930s and 40s Dust Bowl, when nearly-biblical drought combined with

failed farming practices to make the land go barren. This was my family’s slice of the

Great Depression.

Grown-up talk around plates of Thanksgiving turkey often turned on that escape from

dried-up farmland, villainous bankers, untrustworthy government, toward California,

where orchards were said to overflow with oranges and there was a fair paycheck for

every hard worker.

Conditions were not as advertised.

More people looked for work than found it. And when they did get the golden chance to

pick Central Valley cotton or potatoes, they found themselves forced to accept unfair

payment for backbreaking labor. Bosses had them over a barrel—work for pennies or

no beans in the pot. Add to that the hatred they often felt from the citizens of the towns

whose roadsides they camped on. These, of course, are all conditions experienced by

many migrant farmworkers today.

The Central Valley of my childhood was filled with descendants of people who lived

through this time, on one side of the paycheck or the other. Looking around, it became

clear that some of them seemed to have been made gritty by that shared history, while

others were permanently harmed, physically, emotionally, spiritually, financially. Why, I

wondered. Why does tragedy and hardship make some people stronger and debilitate

others?

This question is at the heart of my Depression-era novel, Copy Boy.

To prepare to write it, I immersed myself in books that looked at resilience in that time

and place. I continue to gravitate to books that deal with resilience even now. Here are a

few I recommend.

For me, the godfather of resilience literature is Viktor Frankl’s Man Search for Meaning.

In half of this slim volume, he tells in clear, simple, deeply-moving language, what

happened in his five years in Auschwitz and other Nazi death camps, focusing on his

struggle to find reasons to live. In the other half, he describes the philosophy he

developed as a result of this experience, that man’s deepest urge is to search for

meaning and purpose. He suggests that such a quest makes it possible not only to

survive, but sometimes to thrive in terrible circumstances.

Linda Gordon’s Dorothea Lange, A Life Beyond Limits is a fascinating biography. She

details how Works Progress Administration documentary photographer Lange

developed as a world-class artist—you’ll recognize her famous Migrant Mother, Nipomo

—in spite of suffering from lifelong, painful side effects of polio. In fact, it is implied, her

excellence was not in spite of her polio, but, partly, because of it.

I’ve recently read and loved an advance reader copy of Gretchen Cherington’s memoir,

Poetic License (coming in August 2020). In the beginning, it seems to be a fascinating

story of the charms of growing up in an iconic literary household. (Her father was

Pulitzer Prize– and National Book Award-winning poet Richard Eberhart.) But as the

story progresses, we see the story as something else. Cherington must choose whether

to maintain her family’s literary mythology, silencing her own voice, or to tell the truth,

publicly, about being sexually violated in that home. Cherington shows how hard it is to

speak out, and how right. She benefits from that struggle.

In Ashley Sweeney’s historical novel, Answer Creek, we meet protagonist, 19-year-old

Ada. She’s a member of the historic Donner Party. In Sweeney’s sensitive hands we

learn how, having made their famous, fateful decision, Ashley and her group is stuck in

Truckee for a blizzard-filled winter, forced to consider extreme choices to survive.

Sweeney has based this story on impeccable research, putting the reader in the

position of asking timely questions—What can we do to survive? How do we make our

choices? Is sheer survival the only relevant goal?

In her novel Luz (out June 9), author Debra Thomas tells the story of Alma, who relies

on natural strength and determination as she journeys to the United States to find her

missing migrant farmworker father. Alma and the reader must ask what price she is

willing to pay to complete this quest. Thomas suggests that every journey requires

courage and resilience—especially those involving great risk—but the true test is

whether the traveler arrives at the story’s end with tenderness and humanity intact.

Shelley Blanton-Stroud is the author of novel Copy Boy (She Writes Press, June 2020).

Blanton-Stroud grew up in Bakersfield, California, the daughter of Dust Bowl immigrants

who lived in Federal work camps made famous by Steinbeck’s Grapes of Wrath. Her

novel is set in the Great Depression and features the lives of Okie field workers, in

particular a girl who has to become a boy to get work. Blanton-Stroud teaches college

writing at Sacramento State and consults with writers in the energy industry. She codirects

Stories on Stage Sacramento, where actors perform the stories of established

and emerging authors, and serves on the advisory board of 916 Ink, an arts-based

creative writing nonprofit for children. She has also served on the Writers’ Advisory

Board for the Belize Writers’ Conference. Visit her website at shelleyblantonstroud.com

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Spiritual Transformation in Mid-life

Guest blog by Cindy Rasicot

My life has been a spiritual journey since I was a small child. At four I asked my older brother (who was five at the time): “Where is God?” His answer: “Everywhere.” Puzzled, I looked all around, but didn’t find evidence. I kept my brother’s words in my heart while growing up, and figured I’d have an answer someday.

My spiritual life took on new dimensions when I moved to Bangkok for three years in 2005 with my husband and teenage son. I was in my mid-fifties, not working, and questioning my life’s path. Initially, I felt adrift in a foreign culture and unprepared for the challenges I encountered there. On an impulse, I signed up for a conference where I met Venerable Dhammananda Bhikkhuni, a Thai Buddhist nun—an encounter that opened my heart and changed me forever.

I began to spend weekends at Dhammananda’s temple, an international center for Buddhist women. I wrote an article about Dhammananda for an American Women’s Magazine and spent hours interviewing her for that story. In time, we became very close and our deepening relationship led me to write my memoir, Finding Venerable Mother: A Daughter’s Spiritual Quest to Thailand, published by She Writes Press. The book chronicles my adventures along the spiritual path.

There are challenges and triumphs on any spiritual journey. When changes happen, they can be frightening, and fear is difficult to handle. After my family moved back from Thailand in 2008, part of the transformation that happened was my realization that my husband and I were drifting apart. I was on a more spiritual path, and he was drawn to other interests. In January of 2020, after thirty-four years of marriage, we divorced. The six months period leading up to my decision of whether or not to separate was particularly challenging for me. The thought of being alone terrified me. During my time of personal struggle, I learned several valuable lessons. The first thing I learned was that my fear was not insurmountable. I could survive it, but in order to do that I needed to feel it. I didn’t need to fix it or “overcome” it; I just had to live through the experience. And much to my surprise I did, day after day, moment after moment, and hour after hour, with a lot of help from my family and friends.

Many women authors have written about their life experiences undergoing profound life transitions. One of my favorite authors is Elizabeth Lesser, who wrote Broken Open: How Difficult Times Can Help Us Grow. In her book she confronts the question, will we be broken down and defeated, or broken open and transformed? Another obvious, and popular example is Elizabeth Gilbert’s, Eat, Pray, Love. Jane Binns, also a She Writes author, wrote Broken Whole, a memoir which describes her journey to discover her authentic, whole self.

You may find one of these books is helpful for you or a friend who is experiencing a major life transition. One thing I know to be true. If we go forward with a truly open heart, faith, love, and forgiveness are possible. Please feel free to leave a comment if you are inspired to do so.

 

Cindy Rasicot is an author and retired psychotherapist. Her life has been a spiritual journey that took on new dimensions when she and her family moved to Bangkok, Thailand. There, she met her spiritual teacher, Venerable Dhammananda Bhikkhuni – an encounter that opened her heart and changed her forever. She wrote about her experiences in Thailand in her debut memoir, Finding Venerable Mother: A Daughter’s Spiritual Quest to Thailand, which chronicles her adventures along the spiritual path. Cindy lives and writes in Pt. Richmond, California where she has beautiful views of the San Francisco Bay.

Sylvia Boorstein said about her book, “Cindy Rasicot’s loving account of her own transformation through knowing Dhammananda is a joy to read.”

Find out more at www.cindyrasicot.com;  Facebook @cindy.rasicot.author; Instagram @cindy.rasicot

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She Writes Press Sisters

The path to publication of my novel, Better Than This, had a challenging, steep learning curve. I couldn’t have done it without the incredibly supportive community that my publisher, Brooke Warner, has created at She Writes Press (SWP.) I have made wonderful friends and am awed by the talented women authors at SWP, many of whom have been guest authors on this blog and others whose books I’ve written about in earlier posts. Here are some of the SWP books I’ve highlighted in past blogs.

In Blog #8: Back In Time, I talked about my love of being transported to another time when reading historical novels.  Barbara Ridley’s When It’s Over, had a London setting (as well as Prague and Paris) during WWII.

In Blog #13: Books as Teachers, I discussed books that have been helpful in my writing journey including Brooke Warner’s books, What’s Your Book? and Green Light Your Book and Betsy Graziani Fasbinder’s From Page to Stage: Inspiration, Tools, and Public Speaking Tips for Writers.

In Blog #17: The Power of Remembering, I shared some favorite memoirs such as Andrea Jarrell’s I’m the One That Got Away, Betty Hafner’s Not Exactly Love, Betsy Graziani Fasbinder’s Filling Her Shoes: A Memoir of an Inherited Family and Francine Falk-Allen’s Not a Poster Child: Living Well with a Disability.

Blog #21: Psychologically Minded, included Entangled Moon by E. C. Frey and Blog #22: City by the Bay described books set in San Francisco such as Christie Nelson’s Beautiful Illusion, Bonnie Monte’s The Sleeping Lady, and Betsy Graziani Fasbinder’s Fire and Water.

Finally, Blog #23: My Marie Kondo Books, listed Donna Cameron’s A Year of Living Kindly, as one of the books I would have if I could choose only 30 to keep on my bookshelf.

Books from She Writes Press authors continue to pile up on my TBR shelf, but here are a few more that I loved.

The River by Starlight by Ellen Notbohm

I’m in awe of this exquisitely written historical novel. With authentic period language, well-drawn characters, and beautiful, descriptive prose, Ellen transports readers to Montana in the early 1900’s with all the hardships and struggles inherent in homesteading. The protagonist, Annie, bears tragic losses and heartbreak, suffers postpartum psychosis, and is abandoned and institutionalized. And yet her resilience and will to live shine through in her extraordinary steadfastness. Ellen brings a depth of emotion to her writing that engenders empathy and understanding in the reader. As a psychotherapist and former Labor and Delivery nurse, I especially appreciated her sensitive and genuine depiction of the severe but greatly misunderstood (even today) depression many women suffer postpartum. This is an extensively researched and masterfully written book.

The Same River by Lisa Reddick

There is so much going on in this novel – environmental science, Native American spirituality, and the mystical connection of lives two hundred years apart — but Reddick masterfully weaves them all together in an engaging and enjoyable story with wonderful, relatable characters. The protagonist, Jess, is strong and passionate about “her river,” and the secondary protagonist, Piah, has an evocative, vivid, and heartbreaking story.  And I have to add – I’m always a sucker for a good love story – and this one was authentic and enjoyable.

Hard Cider by Barbara Stark-Nemon

This beautiful novel introduced me to both the landscape of Michigan and the production of hard apple cider. The protagonist, Abbie Rose, is embarking on a late-in-life quest to fulfill her dream to create a cider business, unsupported by her family. She is no stranger to adversity — having coped with loss, infertility, and parenting challenges — and she pushes forward, determined to persevere. But when a young woman with a secret enters her life, her steadfastness is challenged. An engaging novel about the importance of family, forgiveness, and pursing your dreams.

Gina In The Floating World by Belle Brett

This well-written erotic thriller was so suspenseful I had to put it down. Literally. Since I typically read at night before bed, it was too unsettling to keep reading as the protagonist, Gina, a Midwestern girl in Japan for an internship, got pulled deeper into a dangerous, dark world. I finished it on the weekend — in the light of day and in one sitting — desperately hoping Gina could find her way out. Belle is a wonderful storyteller in this captivating coming-of-age tale. A great debut that stayed with me long after the past page.

Unreasonable Doubts by Reyna Gentin

This book is promoted as a legal thriller, but for me it was much more about the intricacies of human relationships – and the vulnerability that it takes to really open our heart to another while keeping our eyes open to the truth of any situation. The protagonist, Liana, is struggling with those questions on several fronts, while also confronting her burnout as a NYC Public Defender. This book crosses genres – and I think many will find something here to enjoy.

I know books by my She Write Press sisters will continue to show up in this blog as I make my way through that shelf of books. What about you? Any SWP books on your shelf? Do you have a favorite?

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Tropical Treasures

Guest Blog by Linda Ulleseit

My husband’s mother and grandmother were born in Hawaii. He has dozens of relatives there, and we attended our first family reunion in Honolulu this past February. The outpouring of ohana and aloha was amazing! Maybe it’s this connection to family that has always driven my love for Hawaii. Then again, maybe it’s the beautiful setting, the music, and the mai tais!

My husband’s grandmother was my inspiration for The Aloha Spirit. It’s a heavily fictionalized account of her difficult childhood and how she was able to be an amazingly loving and generous woman in spite of it. When my publisher, She Writes Press, asked me for comparable titles for marketing purposes, I immediately thought of Hawaii, by James Michener, and Honolulu and Moloka’i by Alan Brennert. No, I was told. Your comp titles need to be no more than three years old. They need to be good sellers but not super bestsellers because that causes industry professionals to be skeptical. As a guideline, I was told a comp title should have at least 100 reviews and they should, of course, be in my genre. Well, that eliminated From Here to Eternity.

Googling novels about Hawaii provided me with the titles I’ve mentioned as well as nonfiction, romances, children’s books, and memoirs. I needed stories set in territorial Hawaii, about strong female characters, stories that weren’t exclusively focused on World War II. I went direct to the source.

In our visits to the island of Kauai, my husband and I always visit Talk Story Bookstore in Hanapepe. They claim to be the western-most bookstore in the United States. Talk Story is a wonderful mix of new and used books, and they have a delightful store cat named Celeste who is quite the social media darling. Who better to know about Hawaiian fiction? (the bookstore, not the cat) I perused their online catalog, newsletter, and author events.

I discovered some treasures I could use and some I couldn’t, but I read them all. Here are some of my favorites:

The Last Aloha by Gaellen Quinn is probably the closest to my book I could get. It’s set in territorial Hawaii-the time before it became a state–and is about a girl adjusting to major changes in her family, including cultural ones.

Sara Ackerman is one of my new favorite authors. Her books, The Lieutenant’s Nurse and Island of Sweet Pies and Soldiers are set in World War II Hawaii. I can hardly wait for Red Sky Over Hawaii, which comes out in June. Like my book, these books show civilian life in the islands during the war.

I also discovered Kiana Davenport, author of family sagas Shark Dialogues, Song of the Exile, and House of Many Gods. The language of her writing is spellbinding, truly invoking the rhythms of ocean waves and wind. I can only aspire to this level of lyricism in my own writing.

The most prolific author I discovered was Toby Neal. Her memoir, Freckled, tells of her growing up on Kauai during the sixties. She has written several character-driven crime and thriller novel series. Nothing works for comp to my own book except that her characters are strong, nonetheless I enjoy her writing.

One nonfiction book I have already reread is Lost Kingdom: Hawaii’s Last Queen, the Sugar Kings and America’s First Imperial Adventure by Julia Flynn Siler. It details the conflict between Hawaiians, sugar plantation owners, and missionaries in the tumultuous last years of the kingdom of Hawaii.

So read and enjoy all these books, but most importantly please read The Aloha Spirit, to be released in August of 2020 but available for preorder now.

 

Linda Ulleseit, born and raised in Saratoga, California, has an MFA in writing from Lindenwood University. She is a member of the Hawaii Writers Guild, Women Writing the West, and a founding member of Paper Lantern Writers, was. Linda is the author of Under the Almond Trees, which was a semifinalist in the Faulkner-Wisdom Creative Writing Contest, and The Aloha Spirit, to be released in 2020. Linda believes in the unspoken power of women living ordinary lives. Her books are the stories of women in her family who were extraordinary but unsung. She recently retired from teaching elementary school and now enjoys writing full time. Find out more about Linda and her books at ulleseit.com

 

 

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Must Read Memoir

Guest blog by Kathryn Taylor

The beauty of memoir is that it offers insight and understanding by the sharing of personal experiences. A memoir can be filled with hope and inspiration, guiding the reader along a path which often overcomes adversity. It transcends time, race, education, socio economic status, religion and regional location. My own story, Two Minus One: A Memoir is a personal account of an unanticipated loss and the devastation that followed that loss. It was written solely to work through my individual pain and grief and assist in my recovery. As in mine, memoir can include personal battles that lead to enlightenment, and the discovery of untapped inner strength leading to triumph. A memoir can help and support others through whatever adversity they are facing. Many are stories of ordinary people discovering extraordinary strength.

Anne Frank’s, The Diary of a Young Girl was the first memoir I experienced. I read the book at an early age and it has stayed with me my entire life. During unimaginable horror and dehumanizing circumstances, Anne remained brave, insightful and a model of hope and appreciation. Anne was only fourteen, hidden from the world, and certainly knowing what her future would hold. Still, she was able to offer profound reflections that have remained inspiring throughout the passing decades. “I don’t think of all the misery, but of the beauty that still remains.”

More recently, the following memoirs have had an impact on my perspective.

In Option B, Sheryl Sandberg faces the devastation of the unexpected death of her husband while she has two young children to parent. We all seem to have a picture of what our life is, what it will become, and how it will unfold – our “Option A”. However, rarely does life follow our plan. As Sandberg learned, we must embrace an “Option B” and continue forward.  We must discover our new normal and nurture the resiliency that lies within.

In The Choice, Dr. Edith Eva Eger shares her personal story of survival. A dancer and gymnast, she found herself in Auschwitz at the age of 16. Eger miraculously survived the unimaginable suffering and abuse of concentration camps and war. After, she struggled with her past experiences until she could make sense of her ordeal and share her insight with readers. “We must make the choice to heal. Just because we have been victimized, we do not have to remain victims.”

Tara Westover, author of Educated, lived through brutal neglect, as well as verbal, and physical abuse. Her parents were survivalists who distrusted all government and its agencies. Westover was never sent to school and never went to a doctor. Her mother could not recall Tara’s birthdate. Tara randomly selected a birthday each year to mark the passage of time. Fiercely loyal to her family – which was all that she knew – Tara struggled with intolerable living situations. Westover doubted herself and her sanity throughout her life. Finally, still trying to make sense of her world, she realizes her potential, and grapples with her circumstances through the educational system.

Becoming by former First Lady Michelle Obama describes how she “grew up to the sound of striving.” As a young black woman living on the southside of Chicago, Obama had to rise above skin color, gender, and financial constraints. She realized early that “failure is a feeling long before it is a fact.” With the support of her devoted parents she was encouraged to follow her dreams and rise above her situation and prejudices of others. Yet, with all her success, she is still a woman struggling with the same questions of all women. How to find balance in a chaotic life, remain focused on one’s goals, and not lose sight of oneself.

As an author of memoir, I wholeheartedly embrace the message of all these books. All confirm that life is not easy. Challenges will confront us throughout our lives. Difficult situations and difficult people will wear us down. Sometimes brutal things are done to us. However, we do not have to allow ourselves to be broken by such experiences. We have the choice to rise above difficult circumstances. We can embrace the words of Jennifer Pate Gilbert knowing that, “You can’t control what may happen to you in this life, but you can control who you want to be after it happens.”

 

Kathryn Taylor was born at the Great Lakes Naval Station near Chicago, Illinois and spent much of her life in the Chicagoland area. She taught nearly thirty years in the classrooms of Illinois, California, and Virginia before she retired from teaching and relocated to South Carolina. It was there that she wrote her book, Two Minus One: A Memoir (November 2018 from She Writes Press) following the unexpected abandonment by her second husband. Two Minus One: A Memoir received a starred Kirkus Review and was subsequently named to Kirkus Reviews’ Best Books of 2018. It is an Amazon Best Seller and was selected as one of the September 2019 selections of the Pulpwood Queen’s Book Club. Taylor has participated on author panels at the Pulpwood Queen Girlfriend Convention, and the Pat Conroy Literary Center. She is an avid reader, enthusiastic traveler, and incurable beach lover. She resides outside of Charleston, SC where she enjoys all three of her favorite past times. Two Minus One: A Memoir is her first book. You can connect with her at www.KathrynTaylorBooks.com

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Bridging Worlds

Guest blog by Laura Nicole Diamond

My favorite novels are those pull the reader into the character’s mind and heart, and experiences the world through their eyes and ears. A good story well told seeps into your skin, breathes into your lungs, creates images so rich the mind incorporates them into its own memories. By submerging readers into the characters’ lives, these novels have the power to humanize strangers, make unfamiliar lives relatable, and bridge divides.

Some of my favorite novels take this connection between reader and character one step further, by bringing characters from disparate circumstances together to learn about each other. Here are a few such novels that have stayed with me.

In Little Bee, by Chris Cleave, readers feel as if they are participating in the evolving and fragile friendship between an illegal Nigerian immigrant to the U.K. and a suburban London widow. As these characters develop an understanding of each other, the reader does as well. In The Space Between Us, author Thrity Umrigar explores the both the intimacy and distance between an upper-middle-class Indian woman and her 65-year-old slum-dwelling servant. A decade after I first read it, its universal truths about the bonds that can be built between women have stayed with me. In The Help, by Kathryn Stockett, readers experience the indignities born by black maids and nannies in a segregated southern town, and their bravery in daring to give voice to their treatment. Through their relationship with a young white writer who amplifies their tales, readers also experience the frustrations and limitations of the connection between two groups that aren’t supposed to be allies. More recently, in Behold the Dreamers, author Imbolo Mbue immerses readers into the vivid, intersecting worlds of an uber-wealthy NYC family and the recent Cameroonian immigrants who work for them, granting readers insight into their divergent challenges and frailties.

Shelter Us, my novel, also explores the connection between two women from disparate worlds, when their lives intersect on the streets of downtown Los Angeles. Sarah, a suburban stay-home-mom and former attorney, is struggling emotionally after a tragic loss. When she sees Josie, a young mother whose broken relationship and lost job have led her on a downward spiral to homelessness, Sarah becomes obsessed with helping her. These women develop a friendship that puts them on a path out of their crises, but away from each other. Though from different backgrounds, and with different futures, they are connected by what they have in common — imperfect mothers striving to protect their children, and needing the support of other women to survive.

Novels that honestly portray connections between characters from disparate backgrounds can reveal how much we have in common. We need such books now more than ever.

Laura Nicole Diamond is a human rights lawyer and award-winning author of the novel Shelter Us (2016 National Indie Excellence Award for Literary Fiction) and the editor of the anthology Deliver Me: True Confessions of Motherhood (whose proceeds benefit non-profits working to end homelessness). For more information, please visit www.lauranicolediamond.com or follow on social media: www.facebook.com/lauranicolediamondau..., Twitter @LauraNDiamond1, Instagram @laurandiamond

 

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Holiday Cheer

I love the holiday season. The lights bring a welcome respite from the darkness of winter’s cold and short days. The messages of hope and goodwill are uplifting. It’s a time of year to cherish your seasonal traditions, whatever they may be. One treasured ritual for me has been attending San Francisco Ballet’s The Nutcracker; Tchaikovsky’s music paired with the grace of the dancers always brightens my spirits. Yet another source of cheer is the periodic return of Christmas music to the airwaves. The crooning of old-time favorites such as Johnny Mathis and Bing Crosby warms up any room—and even the Monday morning commute. And of course, one of my favorite traditions is to immerse myself in the stories unique to this this season.

Movies have always been part of my family’s customs. There are the classics including White Christmas, Miracle on 34th Street, It’s a Wonderful Life and The Bishop’s Wife. And who can resist some of the newer offerings like Home Alone, Love Actually, A Muppet Christmas Carole or The Polar Express? Lastly, the season wouldn’t be complete without A Charlie Brown Christmas.

In addition to movies, there has always been a big stack of holiday children’s books that I would read every year with my sons. The Night Before Christmas by Clement C. Moore was a Christmas eve must. But as I scrolled through my book groups on social media this year, I realized that books – adult books – had somehow never been part of my holiday. So I decided I would start to rectify that this year and choose a few of the recommended books to read. Many were romances, a genre I’d not previously read, but I also found a mystery, a classic comedy, and a Sophie Kinsella book to read.

I started with The Christmas Princess by Patricia McLinn. I found this book through a BookBub daily deal, and the cover and title suggested a light, easy read in the romance genre. Which it was and wasn’t. There was an element of mystery and suspense that kept me guessing until the final twist, and I read it in two sittings.  McLinn was an author unknown to me, and I was pleasantly surprised at the discovery. It was an enjoyable, quick holiday read.

Debbie Macomber, another new author to me, has written several Christmas books, some of which have been made into Hallmark movies. Twelve Days of Christmas was a quick, sweet story with the life-changing power of kindness as its theme. The protagonist, Julie, sets out to “kill with kindness” her very Grinch-like neighbor whom she nicknames Ebenezer. She starts a blog to document her quest, which goes viral. I appreciated the emotional unfolding of both characters as they began to soften toward each other and surrender to the ultimate transformation they both experienced.

Another BookBub selection, The Christmas Café at Seashell Cove by Karen Clarke, was a quick, sweet book. Protagonist Tilly doesn’t fully believe in herself but the entrance into the story of potential love interest, Seth, hints that he might change all that. No big twists, but rooting for Tilly and wanting to see how she would get to a happy ending kept me engaged. A simple, heartwarming story about family, friendship and love at Christmastime.

I stepped into the past with Agatha Christie’s Hercule Poirot’s Christmas. It wasn’t much of a Christmas book, other than the gathering of a wealthy family for the holidays. But in true Christie style, there were plenty of red herrings and twists that kept me guessing. I deduced several plot points, but the conclusion eluded me, despite the clear clues! Hindsight is always 20/20. A quick, fun mystery that I read in one sitting.

Another step back into the early 20th century, Nancy Mitford’s Christmas Pudding was a joy to read – and a reminder to revisit some classics from time to time. An eclectic cast of characters gather in the Cotswalds over the holidays to escape London. I delighted (a word I rarely use) in Mitford’s humor and language. One example, early in the book: “She belonged to that rare and objectionable species, the intellectual snob devoid of intellect.”  Fun, funny, and at times poignant, Christmas Pudding was an enjoyable visit to another time.

The final book I read was Sophie Kinsella’s Christmas Shopaholic. It is a modern-day comedy, but not remotely as subtle as Mitford’s novel!  While I have read a couple of Sophie Kinsella’s book, I haven’t read any of the Shopaholic series, so I can’t compare it to earlier books in the series. But this book was laugh-out-loud funny, and a great book to add to your holiday list.

I know I’m barely touching the surface. I want to continue to explore holiday stories in preparation for next year. Do you have any favorites that you think are “must reads?” I’d love to hear about them!

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