Zoe Lea's Blog, page 10

Book Club – February

Apologies for being a bit late with this post, I know we’re well into February and I know this book club choice is late.  The truth is, I needed a copy of the book to take a photo of it and I was waiting for it to come in at the library. When that went on a bit longer than I thought, I ordered a copy online.  And guess what?  They both came in at the same time. I know.

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Anyway, the book is Us by David Nicholls.

This is not a new book, it was published in 2015, but it’s a goodie.  It’s about a couple whose marriage is in crisis, the wife wants to leave and the husband wants her to stay. They go on a final family holiday, at the end of which, the wife says she will announce their divorce, and the husband uses the holiday as a chance to win her back.

The narrative flits between past and present and it explores all the things you would expect in a novel like this: relationship dynamics, romance, road trip action combined with memories of the past.

Primarily, this book is about marriage and family relationships and I think there will be a lot to talk about in terms of real life marriage compared to the ‘happily ever after’ version that’s often sold.

It’s also about what it means for all involved when a relationship is in turmoil. I suspect it’ll be heart warming, tear jerking and ultimately make you think about your own relationships.

Perfect for Valentines month, don’t you think?

Stop telling yourself it’s too late

There was a brilliant thread on Twitter toward the end of last year, about how you should stop telling yourself you’re too old to do (fill in the blank)  Did you see it?

Since reading it, I’ve been thinking about it  A LOT, so thought I’d write a quick post about the whole thing in case anyone else needs to read it like I did.

 

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It was started by the excellent Cassandra Khaw (@casskhaw) where she posed the question, ‘for everyone who is worried they’re out of time, can those of you kicked ass post 30 please raise a hand?’

It got 2006 retweets, 9480 likes and over 2000 replies.  It was the best thread I’ve read on Twitter in a long while.

The people who replied were a massive cross section. From the famous to the not so famous.

The successes and accomplishments listed diverse, but it was the whole load of people (me included) that thanked her for starting the thread that struck home the most.

Out of time because of a birthday?

It seems a lot of us are filled with anxiety that ‘we have missed our time.’ I know I was.

I remember when was in my early thirties, my son was about three years old and I’d just got rejected again by an agent for the young adult book I was working on.

I’d edited it to her requirements, done a rework and she still wasn’t on board. She congratulated me on my writing but said she just wasn’t ‘in love with it as much as she would’ve liked.’  That old chestnut.

What I should’ve done, was asked her why, begged her for more feedback, done another draft and carried on, carried on, carried on.

But, I didn’t do any of that.  Instead, I felt like a massive failure and told myself it was too late. Something along the lines of, ‘if it hasn’t happened now, then I should give up.’

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My husband started singing Give it Up, by KC and The Sunshine Band, to inject a little humour into the situation but I couldn’t laugh about it.  I had this overwhelming feeling that I was out of time on that particular dream.

And so began another stretch of not writing fiction, years of not pursuing my dream.  Instead I patched up that longing I had by becoming a freelance writer, providing articles for magazines and copy for websites.  I enjoyed it, it was great, I told people I was a writer, but then I’d read a great novel and get that horrible feeling, the one in the pit of your stomach that whispers regret.

I should have done this by now

I really, really wanted to write fiction, so why wasn’t I?  Because of how old I was?

When you put it like that, you realise how daft it sounds.  Like someone is clock watching, marking your progress and dictating it’s far too late for you do that now.  No one is telling you that crap apart from yourself, like you have a certain age to get everything figured out. By this age you should be this, by this age you should have done that etc,  does it sound familiar? Because it’s all nonsense. Stop telling yourself that.

There’s no age restrictions on accomplishments.

In her thread, Cassandra tells a young woman who is turning thirty and feeling awful about it, ‘It’s because of the media, because of how youth is endlessly championed, how Hollywood talks about being ‘young and free.’ On TV, everyone is immortally young.  So it makes sense that you’re going to feel that tug of despair at the thought of losing that. I did. It’s normal. Everyone goes through that. You’ll come out of the other side’

And you do.

The only thing that happens if you stop reaching and striving is that you get older.

The dream never disappears, you never make peace with it unless you know, without doubt that you tried your very hardest. That’s why I kept coming back to writing fiction, why I still keep coming back to writing.

It took me a few years to realise that my life is lesser without writing in it. I have to work toward that goal of being good at writing the stories I want to tell.

 

Stop telling yourself lies

 

In that glorious thread are people who switched jobs after 40, who got publishing success post 60, people who became animators, sold mini-series, computer games all over 35.  In fact, when reading through the many replies, it struck me  that most people only start to really get where they’re going post 30.

And here are some other examples, Vera Wang didn’t begin her dress designing career until she was 40, Stan Lee, the creator of ‘The Fantastic Four’ didn’t get his first hit comic until he was 39, Julia Child wrote her first cookbook at 50,  Anna Mary Robertson Moses began her painting career at 78, and one of her paintings sold for 1.2 million dollars.

So don’t let age stop you from doing anything. You need to stop telling yourself it’s too late, or you’re too old, or you’re too tired.  Stop telling yourself excuses.

Don’t let another birthday be a reminder of how your aspirations are slipping away, and don’t feel like a failure if it hasn’t happened how you planned yet.  No body (apart from a rare few) just happen upon achieving their dream the way they planned.  Give yourself a break, be kind and stop filling your head with lies.

You can catch up on the Twitter thread  here

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Book club review – January

THIS REVIEW CONTAINS SPOILERS!!

THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!

**PLEASE DO NOT READ THIS POST IF YOU HAVEN’T FINISHED READING ELEANOR OLIPHANT IS COMPLETELY FINE!**

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Okay, where to begin?  Well, first off, I loved the book.

And this was mainly because I loved Eleanor. From I think, the first chapter I was rooting for her.  No, it was from the first page I was rooting for her.

That beginning self-deprecating description of herself, ‘when people ask me what I do…’ what a great first line as an introduction to her and all told in her straight to the point voice, without a trace of self-pity. Totally endearing.

I also adored the way she was a little off, and knew she was a little off, as in, not socially acceptable in some shape or form, but just got on with it. The way this was depicted through other peoples reaction to her was delightful and really well done.  And when you think about it, the entire book was written from Eleanor’s point of view.  We were in her head for the whole book and I wasn’t bored of her once, were you?

It’s quite a hard thing to pull off, writing from first person perspective, letting the drama unfold and only seeing it through one characters eyes, and it was done perfectly.  Not once did I wish to pop into another characters head or want to leave Eleanors narration.  And this was because of the hooks that were expertly placed throughout the book which kept the pace and tension up.

Eleanor was a riddle from the get go, in the first chapter we learn her routine,  that she likes to drink herself into oblivion every weekend, that she talks to ‘mummy’ on Wednesdays without fail and that makes us ask all sorts of questions about her and her life.  It made me want to keep turning the pages, to keep reading and find out why.  So many ‘whys’ were presented in the opening chapters and kept me turning the pages.

The narrative drive in this was so strong, I felt compelled to read it all.  I kind of knew that Eleanor had to transform, that she was going to go from the awkward woman at the start into something else and it was a joy to read.  That scene in the hairdressers!  I cried at that, I think the line, ‘you’ve made me all shiny’ is one of the best delivered lines ever.

I also loved the blossoming romance with Raymond and loved that it wasn’t straightforward, that Laura was there, confusing everything and mixing it all up.  And when he comes in and cleans her bed sheets after she’s hit rock bottom, oh I loved that scene.  And his mother!  She was brilliant, the description of her house and the meal they had was excellent.  I was there with them reading that, I could smell that soup!

So that’s what I loved.

All that was a complete joy to read, but, like all books, there’s a few things that jarred a little.  I would’ve really loved a proper, full description of what was so ‘off ‘ about Eleanor.  We know that she’s socially awkward and people refer to her as ‘a bit mad,’ but I didn’t understand why.  Did I miss something there?  Okay, she said a few weird things, but by all accounts she looks normal, her scar wasn’t that bad, and I don’t think she was talking to herself out loud, was she?  So why did no one want to sit next to her on the bus near the end?  Tell me, what did I miss? I never really got a grip with what was so off putting about her to complete strangers.

I also didn’t completely believe the fact that she fantasizes her phone calls with Mummy every week and that she never, in all the years whilst living alone, looked at what had happened to her as a child.  I understand that she had to arrive at this decision herself, to see what had happened to her, but I didn’t quite buy that social services would’ve just left her to it.

I mean, that one visit she has, the social worker talks to her about these phone calls she has with her ‘mummy,’ knowing her mother is dead.  Would she just leave it, like she did?  Would it be up to her to go to therapy herself? But, y’know, I could forgive all of that, because I loved Eleanor so much.  I did feel the pace dropped off a bit on the last quarter, I would’ve prefered a tighter edit in that last section but really, these are nit-picks.  It was one of the best books I’ve read in ages.

I’m giving it a nine out of ten, so tell me, what’s your score? Did you enjoy it as much as I did?

And, I’ve installed this thing on here for Facebook comments to try and make the discussion easier. There is a bit underneath for comments for those who aren’t on Facebook, so let me know what works for you.

I’ve had so many direct messages and other comments on other social platforms about this book club, and I’m trying to create a space here where we can all join in together, so if you’ve any ideas on how to make this easier (disqus?) then let me know.

 

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5 brilliant free apps for instagram

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I feel like I should start this with a disclaimer as I’m not an expert in this field, but I thought I’d make a list of the best free apps that I love for Instagram. Mainly because whenever I get into a chat with other Instagram users, and we share our favourite free apps, we’re both often surprised.

This is primarily just a list, with a little bit of info about each app. I haven’t gone into detail about how each of them work, because if I did then this post would be huge!  But if you want more information on how I use any of these apps, then leave a note in the comments and I’ll do a post about it.

VSCO

If you aren’t using this then get it now.  This is such a powerful editing tool and is my first port of call for any of my photographs. In fact, I don’t think I’ve uploaded a photograph on Instagram that I haven’t messed about with on VSCO first. The paid version has a lot more filters and some other features I think, but I have the free version and it’s brilliant.
Photo Timer+

I have an iPhone and I find the timer on it is pretty rubbish, it takes a batch of photographs instead of just one and it takes them all at the same time. This app does what a timer should do, it allows you to set up the time, the number of pictures taken and the interval between each picture. It also has a handy countdown to each picture so you can prepare yourself.  I use this for most of my flatlay shots where my hands are in the photograph.
Hype Type

This is great for  Instagram stories.  It lets you add animated text to your images and you can play about with the style and font.  I got this and went a bit mad with it, every story I did for a while had this moving text on in one way or another, so be warned, it can be a bit addictive.
Planoly

Perfect for seeing how your grid will look before you post your photograph, and this is good for two reasons.  One, it lets you see if your photographs as someone else would when they visited your Instagram page.  It lets you see if your photograph is in keeping with the rest of your shots, or if, for instance, there’s a mad pink element to it that you hadn’t noticed.  It lets you keep a theme and feel to your gallery, and if you’re short of time, you can take all your photographs at the weekend and then plan them out in this little app.  The other great reason to use this is for the white balance. By putting your photographs side by side you can tell if you’ve got the tones right, if all your images are ‘warm’ or ‘cold’.  This was something that I’ve only just got, but it makes a massive difference to how your feed looks overall.
MaskArt

This is one of the best apps I’ve got and as I’m writing this, it’s no longer available, BUT, before you go mad at me, I’ve heard that it comes and goes, so I’m including it here so you can keep an eye out for next time it’s there.  This is a great little app for creating Cinemagraphs, which are those Harry Potter type moving images, like this one here.  The ones where all of the image is still apart from a small section of it.  I do know that there are other apps out there that do this, but I haven’t yet tried those.

So that’s my top five, what are yours? 

 

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5 things to remember before writing anything

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I got a great email this week, one of the best I’ve ever had.

It was from my editor to tell me that my book was done, no more edits required.  She wrote she was ‘thrilled’ with it and would now be sending it to the copy editor.

I’ll be honest with you, I was over the moon when I got that email. It’s a rare thing to get a written account of someone telling you that you’ve done enough, that your work is great, and it’s even better when they use the word ‘thrilled’ in reference to your writing. I’m seriously considering printing the email out and sticking it on my wall.

Anyway, email delight aside, I’m now starting something else and at the part where I realise I’ve forgotten everything I know about writing.

I’m at the beginning where it’s all a bit daunting, a bit scary and I’m getting a bit anxious at the blank page.

Then, I kind of remembered that I always feel like this.

Whether I’m writing a blog post or a novel, I’m always the same when it comes to starting something, and the rules are always the same.  So here’s what I need to remember when I get the blank page fear.

It will take time

Know that whatever you plan to write will not be done in five minutes.  You can not write the thing whilst your child is at their swimming lesson and expect it to be finished.  Writing takes a certain mix of concentration and daydreaming, it’s something that requires, what’s the word?  I want to say ‘a bit of your soul’ but that sounds too dramatic.  Ok, it requires, you.  All of you.  If you want to write something good, then you’ve got to be there and show up in the work.  That takes time, so give yourself time to do it and don’t beat yourself up when it’s not done in half an hour.

It’s better with a plan

This might be just personal to me, but whenever I’ve tried writing before without a clue what I’m writing, I find it’s really, really hard.  I’ve found that I need to have some kind of outline, even for a blog post. Even for an email!   I need to know what kind of shape I want to make, what narrative I’m working on.  And if I’m about to write a novel, the planning can take up to six months. So plan! Don’t start anything without the idea or at least a very strong title

If you don’t start you will never finish

All that being said, that stuff about planning, it’s so much better to start rather than do nothing.  So even if all you have is a title, go with that and write something.  Anything.  Write a few sentences. Don’t be precious with the words at the beginning, just get them down.  Once I start writing, the physical hitting of the keyboards and seeing the words fill up, I always find it gets easier.  So write.  Even if it’s just full of bits like ‘fill this bit in later,’  or ‘put something funny in here,’ get something down

It’s all lies

I once went round to a friends house, who was a writer, and had a peak in her office. Above her writing desk, in pink chalk on the wall, she’d written, ‘it’s all lies,’ and I thought it was brilliant.  It was a reminder to herself about her inner critic, that part of you that expects genius as soon as your fingers hit the keyboards. The part of you that wants to have a exceptional piece of work immediately and anything less is worthless, it’s the voice that tells you you’re wasting your time and it’ll be no good and who do you think you are etc etc. Forget that crap!  Take the burden off, write with the knowledge that you’ll have this inner critic telling you it’s worthless and remember, it’s all lies. Once you acknowledge it, and write anyway,  it’s not too scary.

You’ll feel better after you’ve written

This might be a personal thing, but I always feel better after I’ve written something.  Even if it’s just in my journal.  It’s a bit like going to the gym I suppose, beforehand, I try to put it off, then when I’m actually writing and feeling all the words are rubbish, I don’t feel too good. But afterwards, when it’s done and there’s something there, a word count on the page, a bit more done, I do get a sense of accomplishment.  Like I’ve done something, and that’s a good feeling.  So even if you only do a bit, you’ll feel better about it.

 

Do you have anything to add to the list?  What’s your one thing to remind yourself of before you start writing?

 

(Here’s an image to pin if you liked this stuff, I’ve been told to do this because it’s a good habit to get into, but I’m not sure.  If you’re a blogger can you tell me if I need to be doing this image stuff at the bottom of posts?  Ta)

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