Grace Andren's Blog
December 1, 2018
Seasons Of Pain
Winterscape heart
desolate days
frozen layers
keeping spring at bay
endless searching
hoping to find the way
to my lost soul.
The Seasons of Pain are here—though I don't think they ever truly left.
This time of year makes my grief, and the loss of my daughter, feel so much more acute than the regular day-to-day. It's difficult to remain cheerful when your heart hurts with an uncontrollable ache as it silently longs for the one thing it can't have!
During the holidays, I find ways to Season my pain a...
September 30, 2018
19 Years of Grief
I can remember a time when my husband and I didn't know if we would make it through the next minute, let alone 19 years worth of minutes. Lord, it just seems unbelievable that our daughter has been gone for 19 long years.
She would have been 24 years old on her birthday, this past June, and was only 5 when she died. So, so young! She hadn't even lost her first baby tooth—such a little thing, but a milestone we didn't get to share.
Every year on her birthday, and the anniversary of her death—which was today—we release balloons in her honor. Usually, we each share something about Andrea, or what we're thankful for, or whatever moves us in that moment. Sometimes, we say nothing at all because there are no words to express the sorrow we're feeling.
One day at a time, I often remind myself—especially when my grief crashes over me and pulls me under the waves to drown in acute longing. It can be triggered by so many things: a memory, a song, a child's laughter, or a delicate flower swaying under the morning sun.
She loved flowers and the beautiful flower above is for her.
In my book of poetry, I mention how there is no end point with grief and there won’t be a time when you can say to yourself—today, I am done with grief. And it's so true! That day will never come. However, I do believe there comes a time when we’re almost comfortable with the grief we wear.
At some point that grief will become a part of who we are and will be almost indistinguishable from the other parts that make us who we are.
And most days that's where I live—in acceptance, but today I'm drowning in darkness and sorrow. I haven't been writing poetry lately because life got away from me, but it's time to revisit my heart.
Thanks for stopping by,
~Grace
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February 25, 2018
Author Grace Andren
Welcome to my new website. This will be the home for all things Author Grace Andren. My debut book of poetry, Speaking In Tears: The Poetry In Grief will be live as soon as Amazon gives it a thumbs-up! Should be anytime. This has truly been a labor of love and too many tears to count. My hope is that people reading it will be able to connect with the emotions and the process. The print book will be available before the digital version because the digital version is misbehaving. I will prevail!
Thank you for stopping by.
More to come!
—Grace Andren
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