Patti O'Shea's Blog, page 58

The Gym or Weird Things I Miss

I actually, honestly miss going to the gym. My gym closed a couple of weeks ago because of the virus and I'm working from home anyway and it's in my office building. It's not like I was going to drive up there to use it, but I do miss this.

I did promise to not keep blogging about the virus, but it's such a big part of every day life now that it's hard not to talk about it.

I keep thinking about how I'll have to start over on everything. I had just gotten up to 20 pounds on the shoulder press, and I'd bumped my weights up on the triceps and the chest press, too. Those gains will be gone.

The elliptical? I'll be starting all over again there, too after this much time off and no end in sight on when we'll be able to go back. It takes about one week to lose your muscle memory, or so I read.

I've been walking at home, but it's not the same. No gym friends to talk with. No high fives. No fist bumps.

So, yeah, I want things back to normal and I want my gym time and friends back, too.

Terror Trips

Something strange has happened since this virus rolled into the states--I'm frightened every time I leave my house.

I'm lucky that I can work from home now, but that just started last week. Every other day, I had to report to my day job. Every single day, it was scary, and when five people got on the elevator with me one afternoon on my way out, I found myself trying to plaster myself into the corner.

Grocery shopping? That's downright terrifying. I don't have any rubber gloves, no latex gloves, so I wore gardening gloves. And because my phone opens with my fingerprint, I had my thumb out and I felt exposed. So strange.

When I got home with the groceries, I took Lysol wipes and cleaned everything before my dad put it away. I wiped down the counter, wiped down my phone, my purse, my keys, my car, and washed my hands like I was going into surgery.

I have anxiety and this has exacerbated it to a huge degree. Fear isn't a bad thing, I guess, because it reminds you to be careful, but how long do we have to live like this? A vaccine is 12-18 months away if we're lucky. I'm tired of being scared to leave my house and it's literally been like two weeks. I'm trying to imagine months of this and can't.

Trying to focus to write is damn difficult. So is sleeping. And you guys, it's tree pollen season in Atlanta and guess who has allergies? Do I need to tell you it's a new opportunity to freak out every day? Gah!

I just want normal back.

Thank You

I don't want to blog too much about the pandemic because I think we all need a break from hearing about it. At least I know I do. It's hard to listen to this for too long without despair. And my anxiety kicking into high gear.

I'm grateful for the people who work at the supermarket. Thank you for keeping the shelves stocked, for cutting the meat, for checking me out. Thanks to the kids who bag the groceries and the kid who was standing in the foray to wipe down the carts.

Thank you to the first responders--EMTs, police, firefighters.

Thank you to the nurses, the doctors, the support staff at the hospitals.

Thank you to the truck drivers who get the food we need to the stores.

Thank you to the people who work in the warehouses who put the food on the trucks. The people who work getting shipments out to people from Amazon or other online stores.

Thank you to the post office, the FedEx drivers, the UPS drivers, the people who deliver for Amazon.

Thank you to the knitting and crochet designers who are offering up free patterns in a rushing stream to keep people entertained while they're home.

Thank you to the many, many others I likely missed who are doing what they can to make life continue to work as well as it does while chaos reigns.

And because I work for an airline and I know what we've been dealing with: Thank you to the pilots, the flight attendants, the mechanics, gate agents, ramp workers and everyone else who shows up every day to get people home, to get people where they have to be all the while wondering if they'll have a job tomorrow.

And thank you to the people who are social distancing, who are doing what they're told in an effort to slow the virus and prevent the medical system from being overwhelmed. Please keep following what you're asked to do. Let's give the doctors and scientists a fighting chance to find a solution.

Pandemic

My original plan was to blog something light, probably about how I'm struggling to stop touching my face. (I never realized!) Then I listened to an interview with an Italian journalist about the situation they're dealing with and I couldn't write something frivolous.

The journalist talked about how the ambulances are always running through her town. About how they've stopped using sirens because it's freaking people out. She talked about her young children having a real fear of the virus. And she talked about her husband going to the grocery store wearing goggles, a face mask, and gloves. About how they wash all the packaging when he gets home to protect themselves and their children.

Yeah, there's absolutely no way I could write anything remotely lighthearted about the situation.

Sometimes I sit and marvel about how everything changed on Wednesday, March 11th. I was on vacation that week, and while I had some mild concern about the virus, I wasn't giving it a lot of thought. I got my oil changed that morning, went home and did stuff, and that evening, the atmosphere in the United States seemed to change as quickly as if someone had flipped a switch.

Not everyone. I've seen spring breakers completely unconcerned. I've heard there are kids calling the pandemic a "boomer remover." Real funny until it's your parents or your grandparents.

My dad moved in with me after my mom died and I don't want to lose him. I'm worried about bringing something home. (I had to work in the office last week. As of Friday, I can work from home, but before that? No.) It's lucky that he never smoked because this virus seems to like the lungs, but he's in the highest risk group. The aged.

I'm worried about some of the selfishness I've seen. "Boomer remover." "It's only taking people with other medical conditions; I'll be fine." Really? Let's get an attitude adjustment here, people. Every person deserves respect, no matter their age or if they have another medical condition. Almost every person who dies has someone who loves them who is left behind. And it's not only affecting the old and the sick. Young people with no medical problems are dying, too. Also viruses mutate. I read we already have two strains of this one.

Let's take care of each other. Let's try to be part of the solution, not a selfish asshole who's contributing to the problem.

Recipe Website Frustrations

Recently, I went searching online for some new recipes. The old standbys were getting tired an it was time to switch things up. The experience reminded me why I still buy so many cookbooks rather than find free recipes.

My first peeve is the long, drawn out tale of how this recipe came to be. I keep running across epic-length stories along the lines of: I was walking in the woods with my husband and three beautiful children when we stumbled across a verdant meadow. The grass was knee high and butterflies flitted gaily about the wildflowers. The purple and pink hued blooms reminded me of my grandmother's kitchen and how she'd always add a pinch of sage to her meatloaf. This nostalgic turn made me think about how I could make my own signature meatloaf. And on and on and on.

Seriously, I don't care what inspired you to make your meatloaf recipe. All I want is the recipe. Period. Some sites graciously include a button that allows me to escape the BS and cut to the chase, but most don't. I laud the sites that realize no one cares. (Or at least very few care.)

My second irritation is so many of these sites don't include any nutritional information whatsoever even though there are websites that will create the card for you. I know because I've had to plug these recipes into the thing to find out what's what. If you can spend 100 paragraphs telling me about your inspiration, you can take 2 minutes to get the nutritional information with the recipe. This is especially aggravating when, after I plug in the ingredients, the results come back with a ridiculous calorie total that would have to be the lone meal of the day to be feasible.

And while we're on calories, my third annoyance is how these sites give portion sizes. Serving size is 1/6th of the recipe. Really? This is a saucy recipe, one spoonful out of the pan and everything will seep into the opening. How the hell am I supposed to figure out 1/6th of the pan? Why can't they say serving size is one cup? Or whatever it is. This is so much more feasible than trying to figure out what 1/6th of a recipe looks like on a plate. Gah!

Despite my frustration, I did find a meatloaf recipe. Thankfully, one of the comments from a visitor had the nutritional information so I didn't have to look it up. That was awesome because I'd already plugged in enough ingredients for the day.

But yeah, it makes the old-fashioned cookbook look heavenly.

Exiled for the Good of the Realm

This shot at the left is the view of the toilet paper aisle at Kroger on Saturday. And yes, we did need toilet paper for real, not for hoarding.

Life has become surreal and corona virus went from something kind of abstract to real. In a hurry. I even can pinpoint when the pivot happened. Wednesday, March 11th.

I've done some reading, shared some links to good articles with sound information. These are articles recommended by a doctor and at least one of them was written by a doctor. It's so important that we do the social distancing thing or things are going to get seriously scary. This week is critical per a doctor.

So what did I see? I saw at least two families (possibly more because OMG the number of kids!) co-mingling all day. The kids running around from mid-morning till dusk. The very thing that you're not supposed to do! You're supposed to minimize contact with anyone outside your family. Sigh. And I'm sure the mega-churches were packed this morning so we can spread the virus even more.

This has become pretty immediate for me. My elderly father lives with me and he's my last remaining parent. I don't want to lose him because some idiots can't deal with a little boredom.

On a lighter note, my dad has constantly complained about my desire to stock up on pretty much everything. I have this thing about not running out. So we have plenty of liquid soap, plenty of spray Clorox, plenty of paper towels, and tissues. The only things we were missing was toilet paper and fresh produce. :-)

The toilet paper is on me. I thought we could make it to our April Subscribe and Save shipment. (We couldn't), but the one time I don't stock up, look what happens! If my dad complains again, I'm going to remind him of this.

The title of this blog post is from a meme going around on Facebook. Don't call it self-isolation, call it Exile for the Good of the Realm. :-) You can see the actual meme on my FB Page. Scroll down to March 15th.

Driver Nicknames

Does anyone else give nicknames to the cars/drivers that they see regularly during their commute? Is this just me?

It's true. I nickname the drivers I see regularly on my drive to my day job. Maybe it's because I leave so early in the morning and most of my commute is on a highway where there isn't the volume of traffic for most of the way to the freeway. I haven't nicknamed anyone on the freeway.

The first guy I call Cygnet. It's because his license plate starts with CGN. He actually works at Delta Air Lines, too. I've seen him in the parking ramp at work. I haven't seen him on the road much lately and I wonder if he's leaving earlier than usual because I have spotted him getting out of his car in the parking garage as I'm going up the ramp. Cygnet drives really, really slowly and he looks as if he's past retirement age.

Next up is Bumper Sticker Guy. You probably guessed that the rear of his car is covered in bumper stickers. Not only on the bumper, but across the trunk, too. BSG normally gets on the highway about the same time I reach his entrance. I'm not sure if BSG works at Delta or not because he's another slow driver. If he's a little ahead of me, I'm usually passing him.

There's Commander. License plate starts CDR. He drives slower as well, but not as slowly as Cygnet or BSG. Still, I usually end up having to pass him. It's not because I'm racing to work, either. I drive about 5 miles over the speed limit. These three men just drive really slowly.

Then there's the guy in the little blue car. I call him Andretti because he thinks he's a race car driver. The only time I see him is if we get stopped at the same light, because once we get going again, he's way, way in front of me before much time passes.

These are the four main nicknames I have, but there are a couple of other guys on the road that I'm starting to recognize and I'm sure I'll eventually nickname them, too.

Daylight Saving: Two Thumbs Down

I hate the time change. That one hour forward messes me up for at least a week--sometimes longer. I would love to stay on one time year round. Daylight Saving time, standard time. I don't care. Let's pick one and stick with it.

In the past, I've shared videos and articles that have explained how ridiculous time shifting is in our modern-day society, so today I'm going to talk about my new system to handle it.

There is one statistic I do need to mention: There are a lot more accidents the first week of Daylight Saving Time. They already drive like they're insane in Atlanta, so this is particularly concerning for me. I remember several accidents a couple of years ago that left the freeway at a standstill for my commute home. In 2019, I formulated a strategy, though, and it worked really well. I did it again this year.

One week of vacation.

Instead of waking up on Monday in zombie condition, I got to sleep in. Instead of driving on the freeways with other zombies who believe they are either better drivers than they really are or believe they are immortal, I puttered my way to the kitchen for a coffee. Instead of pumping massive amounts of caffeine to stay upright, I sat down and worked on my story.

Last year was the first time I tried this and it was sublime. I adjusted to the time change without the tyranny of the alarm. There's still some residual issues even the second week after DST kicks in, but it's much less severe.

Either today or tomorrow, I'll wander out to get my car serviced, and later this week, I'll have to do some grocery shopping, but those are the only things I plan to leave the house to do. Bliss.

Power Struggle

I've blogged many, many times about my characters and me fighting about what they want versus what I want.

We've disagreed about names. For example, I had a hero who chose a name I didn't like. I said he needed to pick something else. He said let's just use this one as a placeholder until we find another one. And what happened? The name I didn't like stuck! He out maneuvered me!

And the plot? Forget about it. If I try to write something my characters wouldn't do, they go on strike. I will literally spin my wheels, unable to write a word I can keep until it 1) dawns on me why they're on strike and 2) locate what it was that set them off and 3) rewrite the scene to their liking.

This happened in Eternal Nights. Wyatt and Kendall would not move from the corridor of the pyramid. It usually takes a while before it occurs to me that they're on strike, which in this case led to about six weeks where everything I wrote got cut. Then I figured out that the kiss was the problem, rewrote it so Wyatt was happy, and was able to finish the book.

I had a new situation crop up last fall, though. This has never been a point of conflict before, but luckily it was a minor inconvenience for me and not something I was going to argue about with my heroine. It concerned her vehicle.

As I wrote the scene, I had her parking her SUV next to the hero's vehicle. Only he's driving a SUV, too, and honestly, I couldn't see him in a pickup truck or a car, so it had to be a SUV. Rather than have both characters in the same type of vehicle, I tried to put my heroine in a car. I even researched whether or not she could drive in a VW Beetle comfortably because she's nearly six feet tall. I checked out colors, interiors, features, and was wrote her in the Volkswagen. She rebelled.

No cars. It's a SUV.

In my earlier days as a published author, I might have fought it out with her, but I've gotten wiser with my characters since then. I let them have their way if it's not something important. So I researched SUVs and found one for her that she liked.

Okay, let's be honest. They always get their way sooner or later. I always lose the power struggle. Sadly, my characters are always right, too. That's the toughest thing to take.

Can't Fix the World

I have some friends going through some hard things in their lives right now and I'm at a loss for what to say to them. There is no way to make it better or to fix it for them. I'm a fixer. Give me a problem and I'm going to try to come up with a solution, but sometimes there are none.

Like when my mom was diagnosed with terminal cancer. I couldn't fix that. The doctor couldn't fix that. All we could do was be there for my mom and say goodbye at the end. Recovering from her loss, dealing with the grief--there was no way to fix that either. There was enduring the pain, there was working through the loss, but there wasn't a fix.

I'm also strongly empathic and this makes it doubly tough for me when friends are going through hard things in their lives. I feel the pain with them.

So I understand that I can't do anything except support them the best I can while they struggle through their issues. I've even gotten better about accepting this as I've gotten older. But while my head gets it, my heart still wants to fix things. I want everyone to be okay, even if they can't manage happy.

With my mom, life felt so overwhelming, and to get through, I dropped into something I call triage mode. What do I have to do today? And that's what I would do and everything else was dropped. Some of the things I didn't do ended up being on the top of the list on another day, but some of them simply didn't need to be done at all.

It was shortly after my mom's death that I switched to a daily planner to organize myself. This worked much better for me than a weekly planner. I still use a daily planner and list out my to do list for the day. Back then I did use the top three box on the top of the page because that might be all I finished that day. Now, more than four years later (I can't believe it's been four years!), I rarely use the top priority box because I do have the bandwidth to get through the entire list.

So my advice to my friends, and to anyone else going through tough, overwhelming life stuff, is to try triage mode to survive. Maybe it won't work for everyone, but it's worked for me and a number of other people I've told about it. It might work for others, too.