Nicki Jae's Blog, page 3
June 23, 2019
Who I Am
As it stands I have gone through many changes and I don't mean in personalities either. You see, I was talking to someone and they asked me a question that got me thinking. WHO AM I? My fingers were poised at the keyboard ready to reply and when I looked up I realized I had sent... "I'm not even sure anymore." which lead me to wonder... why don't I know?
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June 13, 2019
The Voice Within
Image credit: https://twitter.com/innervoice_wfI've had such a difficult time writing as of lately. Even the simplest of things have become jumbled somewhere in my mind and from fingers, to paper I lose something in the translation. Words are the biggest part of me and I fully believe that words and writing are what I am meant to do with my life, as well as help heal.
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May 28, 2019
Mental Health Awareness Not Just a Month
The month is almost over and I have yet to say anything about mental illness. Maybe this is because I deal with mental illness every day of my life through personal experience as well as parental experience. I'm no stranger to the effects of depression and anxiety and as I mentioned in DID Me 1, 2, and 3 I am affected daily by Dissociative Identity disorder (DID). All of these things have prompted me to go to school for psychology to not only gain a better understanding of myself but to help those with DID escape the experimental treatment they often get from psychologist. I believe that my firsthand knowledge of some of the effects of DID will be beneficial to not only those who are affected by it but women of color who feel as though they are the minority within the minority of mental illness.Read more »
May 3, 2019
Moving Forward
I am 34 years old, soon to be 35 and I am starting on May 6th at Southern New Hampshire University for my bachelors in Psychology. When I thought about college and what I wanted to do I've for years gone back and forth between wanting to go into this field of study, one minute wanting to do it and the next thinking I couldn't do it. There are many times I wished I would have done it sooner but mentally I was prepared for it like I am now. Read more »
April 24, 2019
Christianity
I'm in a group on Facebook that talks about all things mental health. One of the things I noticed, as with any group of people, there are certain topics that are generally either tread lightly topics or off-limits topics. Two of the most recent topics to cause a rift within the group have been sexuality in itself and religion in itself, not together as a whole. Read more »
April 15, 2019
No Explanation Needed?
Have you ever had a disagreement with someone and instead of letting the chips fall where they may you feel you have to explain yourself? I'm currently going through that at this moment; I actually have many moments in which I go through this. Sometimes you will get into a discussion that neither you or the other person will come into agreement with, but for some reason, you feel compelled to explain yourself further.Read more »
April 3, 2019
DID Me Part 3
This week has been a week, and it's only Wednesday. Monday was a very depressive day in which I couldn't get out of the bed and seriously thought about quitting my job. It's also the day I realized something about my medication. See, over the past two or three months now I have only consistently had two of the three medications I am on. Now, just to be clear there is no medication that can "cure" Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID), because it is a trauma based disorder it is generally coupled with conditions like depression and anxiety. I'm still learning new things about the disorder myself. Although I've had it for a while now there are still things about me and all of my alters that I am learning. One of those things is about Alice (5 or 6 years old).Read more »
February 14, 2019
Carrying Guilt
I wish I'd known about this scripture years ago. I wish it had jumped off the page and into my mind; alas it did not. Instead, here I am in awe of the words written before me. You see when I started searching the scriptures this morning I was looking for something on the kindness of Christians and it brought me to 1 John 3:18-19, but when I kept reading, this particular verse stuck out to me.
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February 12, 2019
Called and Justified
Romans 8:30
And those He predestined, He also called; and those He called, He also justified; and those He justified, he also glorified.
This scritpture serves as a constant reminder that my calling has been justified. It seems silly that God called me to so something and even as I walk in it I find myself doubting it, but when I step back and look at the big picture I realize it's not the calling I have doubt in; it is myself. Am I writing what God wants me to write? Am I intepreting the scripture correctly? Is this really my calling or just my talent? These are all questions I have asked myself at some time or another, sometimes multiple times a month. As I get closer to the release of my first contemporary Christian fiction book the words of this scripture are all the more real to me.
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February 6, 2019
Big Things are coming!
I'm sorry it's been awhile since Ihave engaged with you, my faithful readers. A lot has been going, I hope that you are able to forgive me.
Now, with that said I will try to update you on what has been going on with me lately. As you all know from my previous entry Just(in) Grief 2 I've been greiving the loss of the Love of my life for over a year now. As of two weeks ago I was hit with yet another loss of someone very close to me, my ex stepchild and sons brother. It was as unexpected incident in which he lost his life. This rocked me to my core. He was such a special child, he knew no stranger and was always happy. At the memorial they made the comment that the song by Pherrell Happy was a great song that made you think of him, and it couldn't be more true. He's resting with God now and although I am truly saddened by his absence from us I am happy that he is in the best place he could be. After Trevon's passing I finally took the step to seek help and join a grief support group. As of right now I'm not sure it's helping because it seems as though everyone there has lost either a spouse or child and my situation isn't typical. I won't stop going though I know I need the support.
I know that was heavy for the beginning of the blog but it's not the only news that I have. As you all know I have been working on releasing my book called Geneveive Lost. I am happy to announce that it is available for pre-order on Kindle on the Amazon website for 3.99. (Shameless plug) TheRelease date is set for March 15th 2019. However, that is not the best news I have. The best news I have so far is that I will being doing a pre-release book signing at a local salon on the 20th! BUT WAIT THERE'S MORE! I will also be a guest on a local radio station as well! I can't tell you how excited I am about both of these events.
In december 2018 I bought a planner that said "A goal without a plan is just a wish" I had no idea what I was going to put in this planner at the time because honestly I kind of suck at goals and the planning of them, however, I am happy to say that as the year progresses I am slowly but surely filling my calendar with dates not only to network but to market myself as an author. Might be a little premature but I'm on cloud nine and I feel like just by the upcoming events alone I have made it. LoL I'm so excited I can hardly contain myself. I also have an opportunity to interview some local authors for this blog come the middle of next month. So stay tuned for that. I promise I will get back to keeping up with this blog I just ask that you all bear with me. Thank you again for your support.
Until Next time
Nicki Jae
Now, with that said I will try to update you on what has been going on with me lately. As you all know from my previous entry Just(in) Grief 2 I've been greiving the loss of the Love of my life for over a year now. As of two weeks ago I was hit with yet another loss of someone very close to me, my ex stepchild and sons brother. It was as unexpected incident in which he lost his life. This rocked me to my core. He was such a special child, he knew no stranger and was always happy. At the memorial they made the comment that the song by Pherrell Happy was a great song that made you think of him, and it couldn't be more true. He's resting with God now and although I am truly saddened by his absence from us I am happy that he is in the best place he could be. After Trevon's passing I finally took the step to seek help and join a grief support group. As of right now I'm not sure it's helping because it seems as though everyone there has lost either a spouse or child and my situation isn't typical. I won't stop going though I know I need the support.
I know that was heavy for the beginning of the blog but it's not the only news that I have. As you all know I have been working on releasing my book called Geneveive Lost. I am happy to announce that it is available for pre-order on Kindle on the Amazon website for 3.99. (Shameless plug) TheRelease date is set for March 15th 2019. However, that is not the best news I have. The best news I have so far is that I will being doing a pre-release book signing at a local salon on the 20th! BUT WAIT THERE'S MORE! I will also be a guest on a local radio station as well! I can't tell you how excited I am about both of these events.
In december 2018 I bought a planner that said "A goal without a plan is just a wish" I had no idea what I was going to put in this planner at the time because honestly I kind of suck at goals and the planning of them, however, I am happy to say that as the year progresses I am slowly but surely filling my calendar with dates not only to network but to market myself as an author. Might be a little premature but I'm on cloud nine and I feel like just by the upcoming events alone I have made it. LoL I'm so excited I can hardly contain myself. I also have an opportunity to interview some local authors for this blog come the middle of next month. So stay tuned for that. I promise I will get back to keeping up with this blog I just ask that you all bear with me. Thank you again for your support.
Until Next time
Nicki Jae
